it feels like it has been so much longer

I’m sorry, but this is complete bullshit. I get censoring out videos that talk about sex and more explicit things - which these restrictions accomplish to some extent - but this does more than just that. 

For example:

  • You know dodie’s “Sick of Losing Soulmates” video? Yeah, the official music video got taken down, but not because of language. The original release of the song on her main channel is still up with the restrictions on.
  • When you look up creators like Connor Franta, Troye Sivan, Hannah Hart, and Tyler Oakley, just to name a few, in the search bar, their channels don’t show up.
  • Mary Lambert’s “She Keeps Me Warm” official video isn’t available. Some videos of her performing it are up, but not the actual music video, a video that has no adult themes. 
  • Evan Edinger’s video on demisexuality isn’t available. Sure, he mentions the word “sex” a few times, but sex ed/human reproductive system videos aren’t down.
  •  MilesChronicles only has eight videos up with the restrictions. All their videos relating to their gender or sexuality don’t appear on their channel.
  • Troye Sivan’s coming out video (2013) isn’t there.
  • All of Melanie Murphy’s videos - except one - where she talks about her bisexuality aren’t available.
  • Only eight of Stevie Boebi’s videos show up on her channel; only one directly relates to being queer, the other is her identity video where “lesbian or bisexual” is in the thumbnail.

Trust me, there are more; you don’t have to look far to find them. But why does it matter? Can’t you just turn off the restrictions? Well yes, if it isn’t locked. YouTube offers an option to lock on Restricted Mode for the browser. A kid who’s trying to figure themself out and is terrified about it won’t have these resources and stories and models to help them if their parent(s) enable this restriction. Their self journey will be so much longer and harder than necessary because of it.

And what about the younger kids. The kids who are in a heavily sheltered environment where the only information they have about being queer is taken-out-of-context Bible verses. They’ll see the very minuscule number of lgbtq+ videos and feel even more isolated and like a pariah.

We need these videos.

Youtube has been a happy place and a space of belonging for me and so many others, we can’t take lose that. @youtube you said you’re proud of representing queer voices, you better fucking mean it.


UPDATE (20/3/17):

As pointed out by Philip DeFranco - amongst others - this is not only an lgbtq+ issue. We should not be viewing this just as *potential* homophobia, but rather marking people who are different from the societal norm as an “other.”

It has been brought to my attention that some videos concerning mental health issues have also been taken down. As @srgtfuckybarnes said, Hannah Hart’s video about living with depression is no longer available with these restrictions.

This is a bigger issue. It takes people who have different thoughts and opinions and placing them in a light that suggests their views are less than. 

I want to make this very, very clear, though: the intent of YouTube isn’t bad. I highly, highly doubt workers at YouTube sat down and at a meeting and said they were going to censor these types of people. That being said, the result/effect is still negative. How it effects people (in this situation) stands out more than whether or not YouTube is trying to separate people as an “other.”


Thank you to everyone (especially @2022hadmefrickinzazzed) for making constant updates to this. That is very much appreciated.

6 years is so long, like the magnitude of it is so hard to grasp. For example, it’s longer than this fandom has even been alive. Bellamy and Clarke have been separated for that long, and yet she’s called him every single day. Clarke was 18 when this happened- for a quarter of her life, she’s called the same boy, not even knowing if he’s alive. Everytime I try to conceptualize how long 6 years is, it blows my mind how much she loves him and how deeply she feels about him.

I, personally, no longer take part in the ecstatic public condemnation of people unless they’ve committed a transgression that has an actual victim, and even then not as much as I probably should. I miss the fun a little. But it feels like when I became a vegetarian. I missed the steak, although not as much as I’d anticipated, but I could no longer ignore the slaughterhouse.
— 

Jon Ronson, So You’ve Been Publicly Shamed.

I’ll never forget this story:

Context: It was simply a legal technicality. Something to do with homeowners and legal and medical insurance. The medical insurance wouldn’t pay the bills. So, she sued the nephew for, like, one dollar. The home owners insurance covered all the money.  

She’s still on great terms with her sister and nephew. They laughed about it. “Oh, you sued me. Lol.”

But she still got vilified world-wide because, well, no one bothered to check the real story.

My theory is that Pokemon’s difficulty hasn’t actually gone down much at all they just have been getting better and better way putting in a proper level curve and that with a fixed exp all has made it so you no longer have to grind for long periods of time which end with you at a slightly lower levels than you would be because you don’t feel like spending ANOTHER hour or two grinding

if you watch your level and turn off exp share SuMo, ORAS and XY are just about as hard as any other game in the series.

Also it’s a fucking game for kids so of course it being less of a grind is a good thing.

2

Padmé Amidala wanted kids, or the tragedy of the deleted scenes

I’ve seen some excellent meta about Padmé lately, and I’m so glad there’s been attention brought towards the facts she’s a complex female character, a woman that can kick ass and still be a romantic and marry a guy just because she’s in love. But I feel like so much of that complexity is lost, because they decided to cut so many of the Padmé-centric scenes. This scene, from attack of the clones, is called ‘extended arrival on Naboo’ and has Padmé and Anakin talking about how she became a senator. Not only does this scene tells us her people wanted to stay longer than she was allowed to, which makes her a damn good queen, but is also shows us conflict in Padmé’s life: she wants to do good, fight for democracy, but her position as a senator is also making it harder for her to have a family. This, work vs. family, is a conflict many women face and I’d have loved to have seen it. 

Not only would this have made Padmé a more interesting character, it would also have added to the tragedy of her life: she was so close to what she wanted, a loving husband and babies coming, the clone wars almost over, and then Anakin turned to the dark side and the dream ended. She stayed alive long enough to save her children, but she was never alive to see them grow up. her dream of being a mother, having a family was within grasp, only to have it taken away from her. 

In short: this short scene could have added so much, and to cut it out, along with so many others centered around her, was a mistake. Padmé’s life was a tragedy as much as Anakin’s or Obi-Wan’s was. 

So the other day I got this message in my inbox:

“What if ji and ksoo were to see the sexual and erotic stuff you shippers write/post about them? Just imagine how it makes them feel. As two men who are just friends it could make them really uncomfortable and they probably think its disrespectful too smh”

Rather than replying straight to this person and being petty, throwing shade and ready to fight like I usually am….I figured I’d reply with this nice and calm well thought out post since this subject comes up often with Kaisoo and I feel like this possibility needs a bit of exploration. :)

*****DISCLAIMER******: As everyone should know by now, I am a kaisoo supporter and this post is mainly to break down misconceptions in relation to them only. In other words, I am not speaking for other pairings/ships that arent Kaisoo. This is solely my perception and view on this so no shade will be tolerated. I edited this both on my laptop and my phone so idk if the “read more” shyt appeared…dont shoot me. The names of Kaisoo have been abbreviated to eliminate appearing in their respective tags. This post is also not to condone or promote the sharing of sexually explicit forms of shipping directly with the artists involved. (i.e messaging it to them on social media, mailing it to them, shouting things like “how hard does ji f*ck you” to ksoo in person, etcetera etcetera blah blah yada yada)

So, EXO debuted in 2012.

This makes about 4 years since they have been active in the industry.
Kaisoo shippers began noticing their interactions way before EXO’s debut.
Then, this airport photo that was released to the public was one of the first ones that showed how intimate they were with one another:

This pre debut photo was also leaked along with others, some of which were noted to have been much more intimate:

Eerily, these intimate photos vanished after EXO’s debut and are currently nowhere to be found online.

Anyway…moving on. :)


So we know that the kaisoo ship began its first stages of sailing around 2010-late 2011, before EXO’s debut.
Throughout all 4 years of EXO being active, both JI and KS have maintained steady and intimate interactions with one another. There were only two major periods during these 4 years of which the two seemed to be more distant around each other than usual. (There are many theories about this, research more if you’re interested.)

Simultaneously within these 4 years, the kaisoo pairing grew to become one of the longest and most popular pairings in EXO, to the point where it not only became one of EXO’s main pairings but one of the most popular pairings within the Korean idol industry as a whole.

That’s a lot of popularity, right?
I hope you are following along.

“Kaisoo” is what international fans use to refer to “KAI” and “KyungSOO” being paired.
However, in Korea, they are referred to as “KADI”

“KADI” is written as “카디 ” in hangul.
Below is a screencap from an interview for EXO’s 2nd box dvd that included both JI and KS, released in 2015:

As you can see, they both seem to be well informed about their Korean couple name, “Kadi”.

Okay, so what does this mean? Just cuz they know the name doesnt mean they’ve seen what fans draw of them! It should be kept private!

This brings me to my next point.
Again, KADI written in hangul is 카디.
One of Korea’s most popular search engines is “NAVER. It is Korea’s equivalent to GOOGLE in the US. More than 25 million people in South Korea have used NAVER.
NAVER has also collaborated with and sponsored many EXO related things both past and present.

I searched for 카디 in NAVER, and this is what came up:

On almost every page, there were drawings of JI and KS that were intimate and very erotic.

So, this leads me to my final point.


If we look at the timeline and how the kaisoo ship started before debut, it grew to be one of the most popular ships, they both know about their ship name and that erotic images show up when you search their name on NAVER (we could even factor in that JI has had an instagram in the past and that KS has been rumoured to have a private one)…then one could only conclude that the chance of them already having seen and possibly even read what fans have created about them is pretty high.

In short, I know a lot of you want to protect JI and KS and make sure that things like this stay private and out of their reach, but I am 99% sure that its too late for that and they have already seen these things.

I also don’t feel like protection is needed, though, and its because of this reason. If we can conclude that within 4 years they had to have been exposed to “erotic kaisoo fanart/fiction” then we can also conclude that there is a possibility that they aren’t bothered by it too much.

The reason for this once again goes back to the timeline. We know that the kaisoo pairing has been around since 2010. We also know there is a possibility they both knew about their pairing. 

 Hypothetically, lets say that I am and idol and found out that fans were looking at my interactions with another idol and creating sexual imagery out of these reactions and I don’t like it. My first reaction to limit this would be to reduce how much I interact with this person in the public eye. Less touching, less whispering, less laughing and being seen together. Whether fanservice or just normal interaction, if me being shipped with this person made me uncomfortable, the interaction with them would slow down. 

 But Kadi’s interactions with one another didn’t slow down until almost 2 years after debut, which would lead one to come to the conclusion that A.) They are not bothered by being paired with one another, and B.) The reactions slowed down for a reason other than them being uncomfortable with shipping.

I’m pretty sure they’re bothered and just feel like they can’t say anything cuz of SM!!

This is a possibility, but again not very likely. Remember not too long ago when Chanyolk put up that long post on instagram after people found out he started following a specific female idol? And we all know about how vocal Amburr has been lately about ef ex as well. KS was able to politely communicate that he no longer needs gifts from fans, so its safe to say that if shipping him with JI was an issue that would have been conveyed somehow too.

There is also so much evidence from Kaisoo themselves clearly showing how shipping doesnt seem to make them uncomfortable.

We have the sticker set that JI used on his phone. This sticker set was made by and given to him by a fansite:

In this sticker set there were drawings of JI by himself, JI with animals and KS drawings, but not any other member/idol. This also shows that, once again, kaisoo had been shipped by the public for a long time, giving them the likely hood of knowing about it. 

There are  also lots of videos in which you can see both JI and KS smiling at banners of which their ship name had appeared:

And then there is the eery coincidence of JI mentioning that one of his favorite songs was “Montreal” by the weekend, 4 years after it was used in a FMV for a kaisoo fanfic called “Arbitrage”:



Has he read the actual fic? Most likely not. But its possible he may have seen seen the FMV which included clips of him with KS as well.

I want to reiterate agian that this post is not to say that its okay to post sexual works of idol pairings in places that they will see it. Of course it should stay among shippers only. What Im saying is that on a website like tumblr, an idol from south Korea is not likely to see what shippers post and even still, because there are shippers who share things externally and search engines exist…there is the possibility that an idol has already seen what you’re trying to keep from them.


Whether you choose to acknowledge it or not, shipping is and always has been apart of the kpop industry. We know it, the companies know it and idols know it too.


With the internet being such an open way of communicating and sharing things for so many people, its only a matter of time before some nsfw shipping art is leaked on a platform that makes it more accessible to idols. But this is not something that you can blame shipping itself(especially when it is encouraged) or the MAJORITY of shippers for. The majority of us are not sending our NSFW kaisoo art and fics directly to KS and JI themselves. It was even Kaisoo shippers themselves who used our voices to stop the film adaptation of Anterograde Tomorrow in an effort to protect Kaisoo. The majority of us are just talking among ourselves on exclusive and private platforms and sharing our imagination in the form of art.


Every now and then someone may leak things that should have been kept private. But that is an issue for THOSE shippers, not shippers and shipping as a whole. There are good and not so good people in all fandoms, and there is nothing wrong with artistic expression among fans.


So in short, to answer your question…I (clearly) wonder sometimes if Kaisoo has seen what things shippers post about them all the time. I do acknowledge the possibility that they also may have seen these works. I do wonder how it makes them feel, but I also know that they are adults and if they do feel uncomfortable or if they feel its disrespectful they will tell us/show us in their own way and we don’t have to worry about protecting them from things like this. :)

anonymous asked:

Re: post-spn scoutthoughts.. Am I the only one who thinks that there's something off with mr. Ketch? He comes across as a sociopath, but.. Some things remind me of soulless!Sam.. Mr.K just seems like he can pretend to be a human a bit better than soulless!Sam.. And then there's the question: Why has the tattoo gotten so much screen time? Is it magic? A binding? Mind control? (then again, I might need to try to be a little less insane.. 'cause maybe I'm just seein things that aren't there)

hmm…you know, he’s a character that i feel has potential, and i agree with you on these things. it’d be super interesting if the BMoL removed his soul as an experiment to see if he’d just become a killing machine, because with his soul that was only thing stopping him was a filter, but he is a logical person

alternatives:

  • he went through an embarrassing goth stage but he’s afraid of tattoo removal
  • a Holy British Biker Gang tattoo
  • he’s an ANGEL THAT THE MoL ABDUCTED IN THE EARLY DAYS AND HE’S BEEN BOUND TO THIS VESSEL FOR SO LONG HE NO LONGER REMEMBERS WHAT HE IS AND IT MASKS HIM

anonymous asked:

Can you do one where harry and y/n have to be quite on the tour bus so no one hears them doing the nasty in his bunk

“Quietly, love, don’ wan’ someone to hear us, right?” he moans, he can’t really control his own whimpers.

You haven’t been together for so long so the feeling of his skin is like heaven right now. He wanted this to be fast and quite, just a quickie but it ended up like slow and passionate sex.

“I-i” you try to tell him but the sensation is just too much.

Another wave of hotness and pleasure hits you and he has to cover your mouth with his hand because someone is going to hear you.

“M-my god” he kisses you for a little before trusting the deepest he has ever been in you. “O-oh, my… Y/N, ‘m gon’ cum, i can’t hold it for much longer.”

“Me too, Harry” you whisper, your teeth are biting on his fingers.

“Cover my mouth” he commands, you see how much he’s struggling not to let his orgasm hit him. “Fast.”

By the time he sucks on your fingers, you cum, whimpering and trumbling. He cums right after you, both of you trying to calm down from your hight.

“That was… breathtaking” you say, still not able to slow down your pulse.

“Absolutely” he kisses you, biting and sucking at your bottom lip.

In the Rough

(based on this) part 1 (you are here), part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7



There’s a lot about Mari that Yuuri loves. In fact, he’d go so far as to say that he loves his sister more than almost anyone else, except maybe his parents. Despite their six year age difference, neither of them have ever had any other kids to really interact with. As such, each of them were the other’s best and only friend. But the fact has always remained that Mari is older than Yuuri. One day, he’s always known, she will be the queen of Yutopia. What he didn’t expect was for that day to come so quickly, or have such a profound effect on their relationship.

It was gradual at first: Mari turning him away from her door when he asks her to help him with his studies, Mari spending more and more time in the library with her own when she was never the best of students before, Mari lashing out at him when he actually gets the courage to press for her attention occasionally. Time and again, Mother assures him that it’s just the responsibility of being the crown princess that’s weighing on her. Still, Yuuri can’t help if he’s lonely.

That’s what led to this.

“Not now, Yuuri.” Mari is sounding increasingly irritated with him, but he can’t really seem to stop himself. It’s been months since they’ve had a proper conversation.

“It will only take a minute, I promise!”

“I don’t have a minute!” she finally snaps, rounding on him. “I don’t have a minute to myself because the coronation is so soon. What on earth makes you think that I have time to spare for you? Don’t be such a clingy child!”

Yuuri silently curses the way his eyes well up with tears. “I… Excuse me.”

“Yuuri, wait. I didn’t mean–” He can hear her calling out to his back, but the words don’t really register.

Being too overbearing has always been Yuuri’s biggest fear; he’s emotional and soft in a way that no self-respecting royal should ever be. Mari knows this, and used it against him. He really must be too much if she of all people is telling him so. He can just leave her alone until after the coronation. Maybe longer, if it looks like she’s feeling too overwhelmed by his presence. He has an outfit that he uses sometimes when palace life is too much for him and he sneaks out to go to town. He can use that to sneak out. He can take a horse, a sword, and some money, and hide out somewhere until everything blows over in a couple of months.

It doesn’t take Yuuri long to slip past the guards and get off the castle grounds. He’s done it countless times before, once even smuggling Prince Phichit out with him. He slips out the back way, through the forest. Everyone in town knows his face, and most of his subjects do too; it will be best to avoid people for a while.

Of course, that doesn’t mean that he’s brave enough to stray from the path. The woods between this and the next kingdom are deep, and more than one traveller has gotten lost within them, or attacked by robbers. If his maps are right, he’ll be able to get to the next kingdom within a fortnight.

Sleeping on the forest floor is irritating, but hardly anything new; this isn’t the first time that Yuuri has disappeared for a few days, even if it’s the first time that he’s planning on leaving the kingdom without permission. By the eighth day, Yuuri’s rations are beginning to get a bit low. He’s grimy, there are leaves and twigs in his hair, and his ratty cloak is rattier than ever. Still, he doesn’t turn back. At this point, going home would create more distress than it would relieve. If need be, he can just… kill a rabbit or something. There’s a stream less than ten minutes from the path, and making a fire is no problem. He can make it to the next kingdom.

The sound of a carriage jolts him out of his thoughts. He darts back into the trees, hiding in a bush. He still hasn’t crossed the Yutopia border, so it’s possible– probable, even –that the driver of that carriage knows who Yuuri is. As the carriage draws closer, Yuuri can make out little details that start to change his mind. Its blue, for one thing, and only a single carriage; most trader caravans are made up of several plain wagons with faded paint.

Yuuri hears rustling behind him. In less than a second, the quiet rustling becomes shouting. Bandits. Seven men attack the carriage from all sides, one even jumping from a tree to land on top of the carriage. Yuuri doesn’t even realize that he’s drawing his sword until it’s already out.

The door to the carriage flies open and two men– one man and one boy, really, no more than thirteen –jump out, weapons drawn and ready. The boy shouts something that sounds like “Stay the fuck there or I’m telling Dad,” but Yuuri can’t focus too much on him. He’s taken down one of the robbers, but there’s another one coming at him.

It takes the three of them nearly twenty minutes to knock out all of the robbers, and when they do, they’re panting.

“Thank you for the help.” The dark-haired man from the carriage holds out his hand for Yuuri to shake. “We might not have made it without you.”

“It–It was nothing, really.” Yuuri holds up his hands, as if that will deflect the praise. “I was just trying to help. Anyone would have done the same.”

“Tch.” The boy sheaths his sword. Now that Yuuri has a chance to look at him, he’s amazed. The boy is beautiful, almost fairy-like, but he fights like a demon. He’s also dressed like a royal. “At least you didn’t get in the way.”

Yuuri doesn’t quite know how to respond to that, but as it turns out, he doesn’t have to. There’s a laugh from inside the carriage and someone else exits. This man is definitely a royal, and it’s possible that he’s even more beautiful than the boy. They must be related, with their strangely colored hair and eyes.

“That’s high praise coming from you, Yuratchka.” The man looks Yuuri up and down, and Yuuri has to force himself not to blush. “I’ve decided. He’ll be my new bodyguard. I’ve been needing a new one, and I can’t bear to see my beloved younger brother fight on my behalf anymore.”

The man swoons dramatically, but it looks like he’s actually about to fall. Neither of his companions make a move to catch him, and neither does the driver, a woman with bright, fiery red hair. Yuuri is there before he knows it, catching the man before he can actually fall to the ground.

He finds himself looking into the most piercing pair of eyes that he’s ever seen. His eyes inexplicably heat up and Yuuri can tell that if he looks for too long, he’ll be overwhelmed; those eyes can see straight into his soul.

“Be careful,” Yuuri manages.

The man flicks a piece of silver hair out of his eyes and smiles, standing up straight. “Yes, he’ll do nicely. I’m keeping him.”

He ends up on the floor a second later anyway, courtesy of the flying kick that the boy– his younger brother, Yuuri reasons –aims at his back. “Don’t just assume that some random man in the forest is trustworthy enough to be your bodyguard! Think this through, old man!”

“I’m only twenty two,” the man pouts from the ground. “You’re so mean, Yuratchka. Besides, he saved my life, and he doesn’t seem to have anywhere to go. Dad will allow it.”

Yuratchka rolls his eyes and walks over to the carriage. “Whatever. You might want to ask him what his name is before you ask him to risk his life for you though.”

The door slams and Yuuri is still a little confused. The man is still on the ground, the dark haired man from earlier is sheathing his sword without a care in the world, apparently used to this sort of behavior.

“He has a point!” Silver-Haired Man bounces up and picks the twigs out of his hair. “If you’re my new bodyguard, I must know your name.”

“Yuuri,” he says without thinking. Then he realizes that giving his true last name could be a very bad idea. “Yuuri… Nishigori.”

Silver-Haired Man introduces himself as Victor Nikiforov, the crown prince of the neighboring kingdom. The fairy-like boy with the foul mouth is indeed his brother, Prince Yuri. The other man is Georgi Popovich, Yuri’s personal bodyguard, and their driver is called Mila. The four of them have apparently been travelling together nearly all of Yuri’s life.

The reality of what he’s just inadvertently agreed to doesn’t hit until he’s sitting in the carriage with them later: he’s agreed to become the personal bodyguard to the crown prince of the neighboring kingdom, who would no doubt know his name but not his face. Yuuri can’t help but wonder how he’s going to get himself out of this one without causing himself and everyone around him massive embarrassment.

Luckily, he has several months to come up with a solution.

I feel like this is when I should tell you how much I miss you, but a part of me knows you probably don’t care. If you did, we’d probably still be friends…right? But I still hope you think of me on occasion and miss me too.

It’s been months since we last talked who would’ve seen that coming? I know I definitely didn’t. So much has happened since we last spoke, and I’ve wanted you to know it all. Isn’t that twisted? Even though we’re no longer friends, I still want to tell you all the things I used to. And it sucks because you’re not that person to me anymore.

You were the one person I was supposed to be able to count on for anything. You used to be a phone call away but suddenly you stopped answering. You were supposed to always look out for me but then you forgot . We were supposed to be friends forever but the next thing I knew, we were growing further and further apart

But I guess that’s life. Nothing is constant and no one owes you anything. And even though we’re not friends anymore, I still want to thank you. Thank you for being my best friend and dealing with everything that comes with that. Thank you for the nights we stayed up til dawn just talking and laughing. Thank you for being honest and genuinely caring about me. Thank you for taking me for me, and never letting other’s judgments get in the way. Thanks for never sharing those embarrassing pictures you took of me. And thank you, thank you, thank you for being the best friend I needed during that part of my life.

And even though we are no longer friends, I just want you to know that I could never hate you. Trust me, I’ve tried. It sounds awful, but I thought it would be easier to get over losing you if I could hate you but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I was hurt when you left, but I will never hate you. You were my best friend. And despite how things ended up, because of that, I will always love you.

Sometimes, I still scroll through pictures of us and smile. I see screenshots of old conversations and laugh. And whenever I see something that reminds me of you or an inside joke, I almost always almost send it to you. I don’t think there will ever be a day when you don’t cross my mind at least once, but the sadness and hurt are fading, and I’m learning to look at you as a cherished memory.

Everyone chooses their paths in life, and I guess your path just no longer intertwined with mine. But I hope you’re happy. Because I really do wish you the best. I hope you’ve found someone new to send all those weird memes too, to stay up on the phone with on the nights you just can’t sleep, to binge watch Friends with, and to equally complain and celebrate about all the things with

Just know that I don’t hate you and that I’ll always love you. Know that I cherish the memories we made and wouldn’t trade them for anything. I’ll always check your snaps and Facebook posts to make sure you’re doing okay, because some things will never change. And know that even if I don’t go up to you the next time I see you, I will always be grateful to have called you my best friend.

Sincerely, Me.

—  loyaltyxoxo, #bestfriendbreakups #dearyou 
Have you ever loved someone so much it hurt, mentally, physically, and emotionally hurt? You can’t imagine your life without them & one day they’re gone. Gone forever. Not in the sense that they’re dead. But dead inside? They’re not the person that they used to be. They don’t notice you exist anymore. You’ve spent countless years with this person. Watching movies together, hanging out every weekend, getting rides together. Then one day they leave you. Just like they’ve done before. You’re so hurt by this so you decide to tell them how you feel. For the first time you put yourself out there just to get stomped on. To feel broken. They pick other people over the person they said they’d never leave. You say things you can never take back. Just to realize how big of a mistake it really was. Not that you shared how you felt, but they didn’t accept it. They didn’t understand. They didn’t understand how they could hurt you by acting like you’re no longer their friend. Like you don’t matter to them anymore. And they think that u don’t love them but the truth is you love them too much. They blame you for taking medicine . You can’t help you have a mental disorder. You can’t help you think of dying 24/7. You can’t help that the one person you thought would understand you has left.
8 months go by.
You say 20 words to each other
They’ve moved on. To “better” friends and no longer think about you at all anymore. Until one day. You guys hang out again. For a couple of hours. And you can’t help but get false hope. Maybe things will go back to normal. Maybe we can be best friends again. But in the back of your mind, you know you can’t be so foolish. 8 months has changed this person. They’re no longer like you. You couldn’t be more opposite of each other now. You have different values. They don’t value anything. Not even you anymore. You can’t help but sympathize for this person because you love them still. Too much. But you can’t help but feel like they’re using you. Now it been almost a year since the first fall out. You’ve changed so much. But you’re alone . You talk to your ‘friend’ about once a week now. You can’t help but feel used. She doesn’t need you anymore. And that’s when you realize. The only person you have is yourself. The only person you can rely on is yourself. People will leave. Don’t put your happiness in other people. They’ll drop it. Every. Single. Time.
—  Three years later and I still can’t let this go.
Dick Move

A/N: So this is based on an idea that I have had for a while. It didn’t turn out quite like I had pictured in my head? But oh well.

Tagging: @cait-writes-stuff and @nightwingdiva

Y/N sat on the couch and watched as her best friend carried her snack and drink into the living room. They were alone in the manor. Alfred had gone late night grocery shopping and the boys were out on patrol so they had the living room and it’s ridiculous entertainment system all to themselves.

“What do you want to watch, Y/N?” Dick’s girlfriend asked as she put her stuff down.

“Just turn on like a show or something. I don’t really have anything that I am dying to watch right now.” Y/N answered. She checked her phone for messages while Dick’s girlfriend turned something on. She put her phone down and picked up her snack and nibbled on it. Silence fell between the two as they got sucked into the show Dick’s girlfriend had turned on.

“Hey, can I talk to you about something?” Dick’s girlfriend asked hesitantly.

Y/N put down her food and turned to her. “That sounds serious.”

Dick’s girlfriend laughed and shook her head. “It isn’t anything like super duper important, more of just something that I have to talk to somebody about.”

Y/N nodded and stole a piece of Dick’s girlfriend’s snack. “Shoot.” She said as she put the junk food in her mouth.

“So, I know I can’t be the only one who feels this way, but I’ve been feeling really down lately with how absent Dick has been. Like I know he works day and night, but when we are together, it feels like his mind is elsewhere. I am not wanting him to drop everything to be with me, that would be fucking ridiculous, but I want it to feel like he is choosing me, you know?” Dick’s girlfriend looked at Y/N. Y/N nodded and motioned for her to continue. “I don’t know how much longer I can go like one can only spend so long in a rut and I have to get out, but I cannot break up with him.”

“Sounds like you need to just talk to him.” Y/N said. She reached out and took her friend’s hand. “I am more than willing to listen to you complain, but I can’t change anything, that’s on you two.”

Dick’s girlfriend sighed before running her hands through her hair. “I know. I just- I don’t know how to bring it up, you know? Like don’t get me wrong, I love him, but he isn’t the best with confrontation. He’ll probably feel really guilty about it or some shit and I don’t want to upset him.”

“Dude, just talk to him.” Y/N groaned. “Like I swear to God, it isn’t going to be as bad as you think.”

“You’re right,” Dick’s girlfriend sighed. “ I should be able to talk to him without it blowing up. I love Dick-”

“Yeah, you sure do. And you are pretty fond of your boyfriend as well.” Y/N said as she put her empty bowl on the coffee table. Dick’s girlfriend shot her an irritated glare. “What? You stepped right into that one. You cannot expect me to not make that joke.”

“You better run.” Dick’s girlfriend said as she got up. Y/N’s eyes widened and she jumped up. She ran out of the room with Dick’s girlfriend hot on her heels.

Y/N laughed as she slid around a corner and kept running. She laughed again as she heard Dick’s girlfriend almost lose her footing. She was almost to the kitchen when a strong pair of arms picked her up and swung her around. Y/N screamed in surprise before turning to see her very amused boyfriend, still in uniform. “Hey, sweetie, how are you?” Y/N panted. She leaned over and clutched her chest, trying to catch her breath.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Jason asked her. He had not expected to find his girlfriend running full speed down the hallway this late at night.

Y/N laughed breathlessly. “I am running from Dick’s girlfriend.”

“What about my girlfriend?” Nightwing appeared next to them.

“She is chasing me. Or was. She might have wiped out or decided it wasn’t worth it.” Y/N said as she peered down the hallway.

“What exactly did you do to make her chase you?” Dick asked, crossing his arms over his chest and looking down at her.

Y/N pursed her lips and sighed. “I don’t have to answer that.” She said as she turned to walk away. Jason smirked and pulled her back.

“Oh, no. Come one. What did you do?” Jason laughed as Y/N squirmed in his arms.

“If I told you, I would have to kill you.” Y/N teased.

At that moment, Dick’s girlfriend stalked around the corner. She had an irritated look on her face, but that melted away when she saw her boyfriend standing there. She walked up to him and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

“Hey, babe.” Dick greeted as he took off his mask. “Y/N said that you were chasing her.”

Her smile faded as she looked at Y/N, who had ducked behind Jason. “Yep.” Dick’s girlfriend said shortly.

“Why? What did she do to get you all riled up?” Dick asked quietly. He rubbed his hands up and down her arms soothingly.

“We were talking about something semi-serious and she made a dick joke.” She pouted.

“In my defense, you set yourself up for failure.” Y/N said as she peeped from around Jason’s side. Dick’s girlfriend glared at her and Y/N quickly took off running again with Dick’s girlfriend close behind. Jason and Dick stood there as they could hear Y/N laughing at Dick’s girlfriend’s threats as they ran through the manor.

“So what do you think will happen if she catches her?” Dick asked quietly.

“Dude, my girlfriend could whoop your girlfriend’s ass any day of the week. Even I get a little bit scared of her when she is mad.” Jason said.

Dick exchanged a look with Jason before they took off running to prevent the fight that might very well be brewing.

anonymous asked:

so when you say 'because not feeling sexual attraction doesn’t mean not feeling sexual arousal' and 'sex is fun' - that's why nobody takes ace seriously. that's not a sexual orientation, is just having a low sex drive. some people love sex, for others it depends on the partners or moments, and others don't need it all that much. why do we need to label everything? just accept you're a normal person and move on.

OK.

first of all, I’m going to answer the issues you raised in good faith. I just want you to know that I’m not trying to convince you of anything, anon, I just want to put my perspective on these issues out there, since you’ve sent them my way.

yes, asexual people can feel sexual arousal. I’d like to refer you back to the analogy I gave in my original post about being ace - the one where you’re hungry, but can’t find anything you want to eat. wanting to eat something and being hungry for it are different experiences, right? sometimes it’s the other way round, and you really want to eat something even though you aren’t hungry at all (see: me at the end of a meal, considering getting a dessert). arousal and attraction are as different as that. linked, but not the same.

and yes, sex can be fun for an asexual person. is it fun in the same way as it is for an allosexual person? no, of course not. having sex with someone you’re not attracted to isn’t the same as having sex with someone you are attracted to - but it happens all the time, outside the ace community, too. straight friends of mine have experimented with girls, and then realised it’s not for them, they’re not attracted to girls - but they don’t regret their sexual experimentation, and found it fun. likewise, a biromantic lesbian acquaintance of mine is currently in a relationship with a guy. she’s not sexually attracted to him, but they have sex and she finds it fun because she loves him; she finds the relationship completely fulfilling. I feel that to define the fun one can have during sex purely by the level of attraction you feel to your partner isn’t taking into account the wide variety of factors that go into the experience; it’s too narrow a view.

as for why we choose to use a label - that “no need for labels” thing is old as the hills, anon. let me lay something out here. categorisation - i.e. the grouping of objects into a class, based on shared traits - is a fundamental tenet of western thought dating back to Plato and Aristotle (source), and it’s been put forward that our brains are literally wired to require the labelling and categorising of the things around us (source, source, for example). at the very least, we can all agree that when we see something we don’t understand, we feel uncomfortable. if you see a puddle of unidentifiable black goo on your floor/a strange shape flying through the sky/a loud sound in the middle of the night, likely the first question you will ask is “what is that?!”. your first instinct is to label, to understand through naming and categorising. you seek a word for it; from it, you seek to know good/bad, safe/unsafe, normal/abnormal.

and so to ask asexual people to exist without their label is asking us to cut ourselves off from one of the most basic aspects of our cultural philosophy, and is also asking us to live constantly and closely with something we would have no name for, something about our very bodies that we therefore couldn’t categorise. you want to make our own physicality an enigma to us. good or bad, safe or not safe, normal or abnormal - how do we decide, if we don’t know what we are? labels help us to group ourselves; when we group, we can make those decisions together. good or bad - well, together we can be good. safe or not safe - together, we can be safe. normal or abnormal - together, we can feel normal. what you’re demanding when you try to enforce a lack of label is a lack of visibility, a lack of community, a lack of safety, a lack of self-knowledge. in my opinion, that’s not OK.

you seem to think asexual people are trying to set themselves apart, or above, anon… you say that we should accept we’re “normal” like it’s an insult, a comedown. like we’re all snowflakes trying to make ourselves special. that hasn’t been my experience at all. almost every asexual person I’ve met has been frankly hungry for normality, sincerely wanting to feel at home and at ease and typical and among peers. it’s why we often group together like big flocks of ace penguins.

finally, at the end of this post that got a lot longer than I intended, I’d just like to point out that there are one or two people I know who do take asexuality seriously. just one or two.

Snowbaz AU - Baz has a Group Project

Many thanks to @lifegoeson-wecarryon for telling me I could do this even tho I don’t really know how to write :)


Baz has a group project, and his classmates just feel a bit intimidated because Baz is looking really annoyed pretty much since they arrived.

And Simon, well Simon is bored, he’s been waiting for like half an hour outside campus. So he decides to go and find the library where Baz is.

When Baz sees Simon, he just can’t contain himself and makes a soft smile and says quietly “Simon? Sorry this is taking longer than I expected.”

Simon just shrugs “It’s okay I don’t mind, I’ll just have a look around.”

And suddenly, everyone sitting at the table is very interested in Simon because he’s smiling fondly at Baz and was clearly waiting for him.

Baz notices the stares, so he just pulls a chair and says, “Just sit here, we’re almost done.”

Simon sits down, really close to Baz. Then says “Hi” to everyone and just laces his fingers with Baz.

Baz is just smirking at everyone the rest of the time.


(see my snowbaz fic masterlist)

anonymous asked:

What would you say was the moment Bellamy and Clarke knew they loved each other? Bob said for Bellamy it was in 3x05

I can pinpoint the moment for Bellamy in 3.05 when he knelt down in front of her and took her hand and he realized he didn’t just “love” Clarke like a partner or friend or platonically, but he was in love with her. Because when he looks up at her, he looks absolutely stunned and terrified, almost panicked. And that is when he reverted to his desire to protect and confine his loved ones in order to keep them safe from danger. 

Clarke is harder to pinpoint I think, because I think it was a process in season 2 that started with her saying she couldn’t loose him too, then identifying that love was a weakness and that meant Bellamy. Then panicking when she realized she risked his life sending him into the mountain and then not knowing what happened to him and hearing his voice the first time and feeling the clouds part and hope returning, and her subsequent obsession with keeping him safe. And then the fact that L kept using him as a prod to get her to do what she wanted which only reinforced her need to take care of her people and her trust and faith in Bellamy himself. Her certainty that he was the key to everything. And then again, L was the one who forced the issue of romance when she kissed her, making Clarke face the fact that she wasn’t ready for romance… most markedly “with anyone.”  Who else could she have been thinking of? Were there any other suitors waiting in line? There was Lxa and there was….oh look it’s Bellamy’s signal. “He did it!”

Okay. So here’s when I think Clarke KNEW she was in love with Bellamy. She actually fell in love with him while he was in the mountain. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and such. But she had to confront that knowledge when she met him again under the mountain after L abandoned them.  When she saw him, finally, and everyone was hugging CLARKE GRIFFIN DID NOT HUG BELLAMY. She didn’t throw herself into his arms like she did the last time, because she realized her feelings this time. Like Bellamy’s instinct was to protect and confine, Clarke’s instinct is to hide and run away. She wasn’t ready for her feelings for Bellamy. It was too much, so they stood awkwardly separate while everyone else hugged and talked about strategy. Strategy? Really Clarke? All that time obsessed with keeping him alive and how she, according to Lxa, cares for and worries about him more than the others, and she doesn’t even hug him? When has she not hugged someone she was worried about? 

No hug? Feelings have changed. They are no longer platonic and she is ABSOLUTELY not ready for that change. Then she saves everyone, has a breakdown and runs away from ever having to face those feelings. Like I’ve been saying, I think Clarke has been in love with Bellamy for a lot longer than Bellamy has been in love with her. Or at least she’s been aware of it. I think Bellamy got a crush on her pretty early but wouldn’t let himself go there. 

anonymous asked:

“It sounds like you’re trying to convince yourself.“ Damian and Jason (about Tim?)

Here you go Anon! Sorry if it’s not exactly what you were looking for - I set out to write a short angsty piece about Damian feeling guilty about how he’d treated Tim but Bruce got there before me and then Damian ended up hiding under a table and it all went downhill from there. But I hope you get some enjoyment form it anyway :)

Mixing up / ignoring comic timeline is almost a hobby of mine, but this one actually had some contextual thought behind it. Not much but. Basically set sometime after Bruce comes back from the “dead” but no more specific than that…


Damian isn’t hiding, but he could see how it may look that way to someone else. Alfred the cat had fled under the dining room table when the yelling started earlier and when he hadn’t been able to coax him out, Damian had crawled under the table as well. Titus had followed him, sniffing at the carpet and knocking into chair legs with his tail before settling down with a huff. It had seemed much easier to just stay there than try to move both his pets.

Dick and Alfred have both walked past - looking for him, maybe, or more likely just going about their day - but nobody has actually come in yet. Father might have thought to look here, but he doubts Father will search for him. Not while he’s still mad, at least. 

“Hey Alfred!” a voice calls from the direction of the front door. The butler’s reply is muffled by distance and then the voices die off as the conversation moves into one of the Manor’s many rooms - probably the kitchen. Damian wonders who it could be; most visitors come via the cave.

He gets his answer a minute later when light footsteps precede the appearance of two socked feet and a pair of jeans in his vision. Todd is muttering to himself as he walks around the dining table then kneels down to start looking under it. The muttering stops when their eyes meet and Damian lifts his chin defiantly, daring the older boy to make fun of him. But all Todd says is, “Have you seen a pair of sunglasses under here?”

Damian glances at the floor around him and shakes his head. “No.”

“Dammit,” Todd mutters, standing up and almost banging his head on the table. 

“Must be in the kitchen…”

He leaves and Damian let’s out a sigh of relief, relaxing back against Titus’s flank. But it’s short-lived because a moment later Todd comes back in and sets something down on the table before crouching back down.

“You wanna come out?” he asks.

“No.”

“Okay.” His upper body vanishes upward again and when he comes back down he’s holding two mugs. He holds one out. “You want tea?”

Damian hesitates before nodding, reaching out to take the warm mug and cradling it to his chest. Even with the body heat from his pets, it’s remarkably cool under the table. He blows on the hot liquid then takes a cautious sip as Todd sits cross-legged opposite him with his back against the nearest table leg.

“So why are you hiding under a table?” he asks eventually, conversational in a way that grates on Damian’s nerves.

“I’m not hiding,” he snaps.

“Uh-huh. It sounds like you’re trying to convince yourself of that.“

“I’m not,” Damian insists. “Alfred wouldn’t come out. I had to come under here to get him.”

Todd looks pointedly at where the cat is now curled up in Damian’s lap, purring softly as he’s petted. “Right. And was it loud noises that drove Alfred under the table?”

Damian narrows his eyes. Todd takes a casual sip of his tea. And he knows. He knows exactly why Alfred ran under the table and why Damian is under the table and he just wants him to say it. Well he’s not going to. Damian grits his teeth and glares.

Todd just shrugs. “Suit yourself. I’ll just tell you what the official version is then, shall I?”

It’s blatant manipulation and Damian will not be swayed by it.

“So I was leaving my apartment this morning when I realised I couldn’t find my sunglasses anywhere. I had tea with Alfred yesterday so this is the only other place I could think they might be. And when I arrive, I find out that you and Bruce got into a screaming match this morning which ended with a broken chair and two smashed vases.” He takes a sip of tea - probably for some kind of dramatic effect. "Apparently you threw a 4,000 dollar vase at Dick’s head when he tried to intervene.“ Damian glowers at his shoes and says nothing. Todd pokes him in the leg. “Come on, short fry, spill.”

It suddenly occurs to Damian that not-hiding under the table was a strategically bad move. He’s trapped between Titus and Todd, without anything throwable within reach. And Todd is as annoyingly stubborn as everyone else in the family; he will not let this go.

“Father says I cannot patrol,” Damian eventually mutters.

“That’s it? You started breaking shit because he benched you? Wow. That’s almost me-level crazy.”

“He says I am banned from the Cave until i can find a way to deal with my anger that does not involve violence.”

The older boy snorts. “I hate to agree with B, but he may have a point. The vases I can understand - Lord knows how many of those have been broken since Bruce started collecting strays - but the chair was a bit of an overreaction.”

Damian can feel the anger from earlier simmering beneath his skin but short of throwing his cat at Todd’s head there’s not much he can do besides growl. “You’re such a hypocrite Todd - you tried to kill him first!”

Todd blinks, face scrunching up in surprise before smoothing out with understanding. “We’re not talking about B anymore, are we? This is about the Replacement.”

Damian looks away. His fingers are clenched so tightly around his mug his knuckles are white and his chest is tight with- anger. That’s what it is. Not guilt or regret or- None of the things Father thinks are affecting him. (Although, to be fair, Father does think anger is affecting him as well. And he may not be wrong but. He’s not completely right.)

“Bruce find out you tried to kill him?”

Todd shifts closer, leaning forward so he can reach behind Damian to scratch Titus around the ears. Their arms brush and Damian holds completely still, watching the older boy warily. He and Todd are not enemies, per se, but this… this friendliness is unchartered territory.

“He wants me to apologise,” he says stiffly.

“And you don’t want to." 

"It would not be sincere.”

Todd’s lips quirk upwards but it doesn’t quite become a smile. “That’s not the point.”

Damian frowns, brows furrowing. “Then what is?”

“To teach you a lesson.” Todd shrugs one shoulder, the simple gesture conveying a lot about what he thinks of Bruce’s parenting techniques. “You don’t want to apologise because it would be humiliating, admitting a fault or a weakness. He makes you do it anyway, makes you suffer the indignity of asking for forgiveness. It’s an unpleasant feeling. One you try to avoid in future by not doing whatever you did wrong again.”

“Oh.” When put like that, it makes much more sense. (Some detective he is if he can’t even figure out his Father’s motives.) “So all I have to do to get Robin back is apologise to Drake?”

“It’s a start.” Todd gives Titus one last pat on the head - and an “accidental” one for Damian as well - then scoots backwards until he’s no longer under the table. “Well, hide and seek has been fun, but unlike some members of this family I’m not freakishly short and my spine is not cut out for this kind of contortion.”

“Tt. You’re getting old, Todd.”

He gets a casual middle finger in response, “Respect your elders, Demon Brat.”
“I’m not a Demon!” Damian snarls.

Todd holds his hands up in mocking surrender. “Of course not, my sincerest apologies.” A quick flash of teeth as he grins. “You wanna repeat that back to me? Y'know, for practice.”

His laughter follows him out of the room as Damian scrambles out from under the table and takes off after him. His Father will surely make him apologies for trying to kill Todd as well, but it will surely be worth it to wipe that smirk off his older brother’s face.

I think about the first time Carolina sees Wash without his helmet on after she comes back a lot 

  • Like she knows how much time has gone by, and she knows how much he’s been through, but she hasn’t really realized it yet 
  • But she sees his face and he just looks so much older
  •  and there are so many more scars then there used to be 
  • The circles under his eyes just look so deep and dark, like he’s barley slept since the last time she’s seen him
  • And that bright light he had in his eyes that made him look like a little kid has dulled 
  • And you can hear it in his voice a little too, because it used to be lively and emotional, and now he sounds so drained of that
  • And she’s now very aware of how much time has gone by, and at the same time if you told her it’s been longer she’d believe you, because he just looks so tired
  • And she can’t help but feel guilty, because Wash has always been like a little brother to her, and she feels like she should have never let any of that happen to him

But at the same time

  • When she sees him with the reds and blues it’s a little easier to see the light in his eyes again
  • And even though he tries to act mad at them, or annoyed, he can’t help but smile as he scolds them, and yeah, it’s much smaller then it used to be, but it’s definitely Wash’s smile
  • And when he laughs at them, because no matter how hard he tries not to they get to him eventually, it’s a much smaller laugh, more reserved, but it’s still his laugh, still the laugh he remembers 
  • When he teases them back, the jokes are a little dryer, and he doesn’t say them as often, but they’re still the kind of jokes he would have said
  • And he tries to hide it, but he cares about them so much (and he’s obviously so in love with tucker but more on that later)
  • And Carolina is glad, because despite everything, Wash was able to find people that helped him hold onto his light 

anonymous asked:

Omg deaged padawan obi!!! Please continue, maybe council reaction or just meeting the clones?

The coil of braid is in his mouth, being gnawed on, and the datapad given to him by General Skywalker is in his hands, slowly getting scrolled through as he sits curled up against the shuttle bulk. Green eyes flickering over the information, sometimes his face twitching as he takes in something that surprises him or shocks him.

Cody almost wants to wrap him up in a blanket and hide him from the Galaxy, a sensation he has never gotten before with his General.

But this…young man…

He’s not like their General.

This is not a battle torn and experienced General or Jedi. This is a young man who has seen some shit but there’s a certain kind of naivety to his eyes and face that even Ahsoka Tano does not have anymore despite being younger then him.

And when he smiles…

“General Kenobi?”

Cody wishes he could hit Trapper over the head for that as the young man gives the clone trooper a startled look at being called General before he wipes it with a smile, genuine even as he sits up and lets the braid drop from his mouth. “Yes sir?” He offers, his voice soft and not yet quite as smooth as his older self yet. ‘Puberty, his vocal cords haven’t matured fully yet…’

“I was wondering if you wanted tea.” Trapper held out a metal cup of it and Obi-Wan blinked before smiling even more, accepting the cup with a nod.

“Thank you. Tea would be quite lovely.” He offered in turn, sniffing it lightly before his face perked up in joy. “Ah, sapir. I love sapir.” He settled against the bulkhead again and gave Trapper a soft smile. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome sir.” Trapper stepped back and Obi-Wan went back to the datapad while sipping tea, his braid resting against his shoulder now instead of being gnawed on.

Cody goes back to the quiet observation of the man.

He feels the need to hide him.

He sees the same look in General’s Skywalker’s eyes from the front with Nutters and he catches the blond’s eyes for a few seconds.

They’re in agreement in that moment. This young Obi-Wan Kenobi needs to be kept safe if only because there’s something fragile in his eyes that adult Obi-Wan Kenobi lost somewhere.

()()()

The Force feels dark and the compilation of the sixteen years Obi-Wan is missing is enough to fill in on why it feels like that. So much has happened of misery and torment and it astounds Obi-Wan that the Jedi Order has allowed it.

War and armies lead by Jedi?

A separation of planets that no longer wanted to be a part of the Republic? Wasn’t that the Jedi’s duty to oversee a peaceful separation then, not fight a war?

The more he reads, the more confused Obi-Wan becomes and in the end he couldn’t help but voice it out loud.

“If planets wanted to leave the Republic, shouldn’t it have been the Jedi’s place to oversee a peaceful separation, not fight a war on behalf of the Republic?” He looked up and right at Knight Skywalker who looked startled at his question.

“I-I’m sorry?”

Obi-Wan squirmed a bit under the attention, feeling the troopers (CLONES! His mind screamed about how men weren’t suppose to manufactured to die!) looking at him too but put his mouth to work on the words he needed answer too. “Our duty as Jedi are to be peace keepers, battle is suppose to be our last resort and we are not a political body. We are suppose to be neutral but…” He looked down at the bad again, his brows furrowing. “But we are General’s and commanders on the field under the Republic and Senate? Do we overthrow monarchs and elected leaders too if they side with this CIS? Is there no peaceful negotiation to be had and this count Dooku, is he really so unapproachable?”

“He’s a Sith.” Anakin offered awkwardly in the face of everything else this younger Obi-Wan was bringing up.

“Oh…okay, so unapproachable then…” The redhead frowned. “But the rest, he can’t be the only leader in a multiple system of planets wanting to leave. That doesn’t…it doesn’t function that way. Even the Supreme Chancellor answers to the Senators of the different planets.”

He bent over the datapad again. “It doesn’t work like that. And all these losses, its astronomical. Suffering planets. Throwing both the Republic and the Order in the worst possible light. And the losses…no well trained soldier lead under Jedi has losses this high.” He shook his head, his frown growing thunderously. “I lead Force damned children as a child in guerrilla war, even my losses weren’t this bad and I had less supplies then the Senate can send. I managed to keep people alive and droids can’t think creatively, humans can.”

He descended into mutters about how it wasn’t right, that something wasn’t looking right in all of this.

Anakin stared.

Then he almost laughed. A younger Obi-Wan for sure, but still Obi-Wan.

Just shyer, more passionate and not as guarded.

Oh he hoped this personality of him remained until he could get him in front of the council. Hard facts thrown in their faces about the losses would be wonderful, especially coming from Obi-Wan Kenobi.

()()()

The personality did remain.

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN I LEAD A SECTION OF THE ARMY!?” Obi-Wan was flailing, staring at them. “Has the Jedi order gone off the deep end!?” He yelped.

The council traded looks even as Obi-Wan ran his hands through his hair, muttering to himself. “Cloned soldiers, men manufactured to fight and die, Jedi on the front line as Generals and warriors…are you SURE I was deaged and not just entered another parallel dimension?!” He looked at Anakin.

“Well, you’re still wearing the same clothes…” The blond pointed out and Obi-Wan plucked at the bigger robe and tunic he had been wearing, having ditched the armor. It had made him feel…odd to say the least.

“Okay, fair point. But still! Somewhere between the ten plus years is clear that the Jedi Order has clearly gone of the deep end.” Obi-Wan rubbed his temple. “I mean, who’s brilliant idea was it to put Jedi in charge?”

“The Senate.” Mace frowned, watching him, trying to find a balance in the man they knew and the padawan that was now in front of them.

“The Senate is a many headed hydra where the right head doesn’t know what the left one is doing and the left one is licking itself in the crotch while the middle one is busy gnawing its nuts off!”

Anakin choked on his own spit and there were some coughs to cover laughs around the room.

“I mean, really, how many Jedi have died now because of this war!? We’re negotiator, our purpose is to try for peace first and battle if there’s no other option.”

Mace leaned forward, hands stapled together. “I seem to remember you being more respectful as a padawan Kenobi.”

“That was before I was what feel like shoved into a future where we’re at war, everything is different and my master is dead!” Obi-Wan shouted. Actually shouting, he was losing every shred of cool he had. “What in Force name happened!”

He was trembling in front of them.

“W-What happened to my master?” He tugged the robe tighter around himself, suddenly looking lost and small as he looked around the room. “I don’t…I don’t understand…” He finally whispered, looking down at his feet.

“I just don’t understand…”