Twelve Things They Won’t Tell You After Your First Heartbreak:
1. it will hurt the worst the morning after it happens. you will wake up, and have forgotten, and then you will remember. it will feel like you’ve experienced it all over again. it’s okay to cry as soon as you wake up in the morning.
2. the nights will be the hardest part. you may realize it when you wait for a call thats not coming or reach for him in your sleep, but the nights are when you will most evidently notice his absence. it’s okay to cry before you go to bed at night.
3. there will be days that you ache for him from the deepest part of yourself. you will call out his name in empty rooms and his voice will be stuck in your head for hours, no matter how much music you make yourself listen to. the important thing about these days is getting through them. you must learn to survive the ache so that when it leaves, you will not feel empty. when it leaves, you must be prepared to fill yourself up again.
4. it will not be like in the movies. you will not wake up someday and suddenly forget that you miss him. you will not realize that your “true love” actually lived next door the whole time. the hurting and the missing will not disappear overnight. your healing will be a slow, steady process.
5. the day that you accept the fact that he’s not going to take it all back is the day that you will start to feel free. you must be honest with yourself, and know that he’s not going to show up on your doorstep in the pouring rain, begging to have you back. even if there is hope for the two of you in the future, you cannot let that hope consume you. you cannot count on him to come back. if it is meant to be, it will be, but that doesn’t mean you have to wait on him.
6. it’s perfectly okay to miss him. in fact, you’re supposed to miss him. that’s how you know that you truly loved him. rather than letting your missing him make you upset, decide to use it as an opportunity to be thankful for the love that you got to experience. you are lucky to have gotten to experience something that is worth missing so much. acknowledge it.
7. if you loved him, and he loved you, you both were a part of something beautiful. regardless of the hurt that you are feeling now, remember that you both were lucky to love and be loved in the way that you were. be grateful for the beautiful, genuine love that you had. be excited about the next one.
8. your heartbreak will be unlike anyone else’s. don’t think that I’m telling you to ignore all of the advice that your friends give you. write all of it down; look over it every now and then. however, do not expect to experience this in the same way that any of your friends have. in the same way that your relationship was different from anyone else’s, your hurting, grieving, and healing process will be unique to you and you alone. let yourself learn how to get through this in the best way that you can, so you’ll be prepared for next time.
9. it will help you immensely to write everything down. prayers, song lyrics, poetry, letters to him, any tiny bits of progress that you make along the way. there will be words that swim inside your head for hours on end, and it is better to put them on paper than to let them crowd your mind for so long.
10. you don’t have to hate him. if you force yourself to hate him, knowing that deep down you still love him, all that will leave you with is bitterness. it would be unfair to the love that you once gave him to replace every happy memory with bitterness and regret. love is never something that you regret.
11. the hurt that you will feel will seem as big as the love that you had for him. this is not true. the hurt cannot compare to the love. do not forget this.
12. you will learn just as much from your first heartbreak as you do from your first love.and you will grow, as much as you let yourself. don’t lose sight of the beauty that comes with the love that you hold in your heart, and the hurt that you can’t help but feel. feel all of it as deeply as possible, and use the experience to flourish. you will get through this, and you will be stronger,