it brought me some peace of mind

Never-ending Nightmare : Jason Blossom

request: could you do a jason imagine?? maybe if him comforting the reader after nightmares when they are a couple? Only if you think you can, if not that’s fine ❤️

requested by: anonymous

A/N: I AM SO SORRY, but this becomes very twisted. It has the comforting and the couple parts, but also something else. My dumb brain did this, so again, I am so sorry. I still hope you enjoy it. I think it is still what you wanted but not as happy. okay, carry on reading. Love ya, xx aubree.

warnings: SADDNESS AND TEARS. (maybe? if you get as emotionally invested as I do.)

word count: 879

(gif not mine) 

MASTERLIST

Jason had always been there for Y/N. At school, he was the popular, football playboy. No one knew the real him. At first, Y/N hated him. She had to tutor him in chemistry. She had pleaded with her teacher to make someone else in the class tutor him, but you were his best student. You obliged and met every Wednesday and Friday during lunch and studied. 

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Dying Petals - Joker Imagine

//This is so bad I apologize ahead of time.//

_______________________________________________________________________

Y/N’S POV

Splayed across the floor like the bodies of the dead men and women the joker has left behind, were the small but fragile rose petals which would usually represent romance but in this case it didn’t even get close to that mark. 

It was three days after our 1 year anniversary and yet I felt no love or joy or even thrill that could quite possibly come with the joker, all I felt was despair. I was a broken doll, stuck on repeat; going to meetings, being the precious queen and his partner in crime. Only that gimmick gets old quickly. 

With my hands folded in my lap covering a small petal, the heat that radiated throughout my body killed the beautiful petal with one fatal swoop, much like Joker did three days ago when the only thing he could muster up to say was, “A year already? Crazy how Im not tired of you.” 

Now that small joking sentence crushed my small heart surrounded by petals as beautiful as these. The tear drops cascaded down my cheeks in an ugly manner  as I pulled my self off the floor threw threw the deceased petal from my palm and grabbed my suitcase. 

Looking behind me I saw the home I’ve been trapped in and the home where I was once happy, but I no longer saw joy but a prison. I walked out the dark door into the nippy Gotham air and began to walk. 

I left my phone and car behind knowing Joker would track me, once he sees I’m gone. Headlights flashed by me in a daze and my strides became larger. I wasn’t afraid no one would touch me but I couldn’t bear to life my head up and face the civilians who fear me. 

I reached my old apartment where Joker had broken into in order to use it as a safe house. I laughed at the memory while touching the card board that covered the shattered window. Turning on the lights was no use since the electric bill hadn’t been payed, there was no running water and dust had ben collected everywhere. Perfect. 

I went to my room and laid on the bed trying to soothe my mind and maybe gets some peaceful sleep, away from his yelling. Soon enough i found my self dozing off for the first time in days, it felt great. 

Joker’s POV 

I slammed the front door open fuming from a heist going wrong, I should of brought Y/N with me. Already agitated all I wanted was to go drink myself to sleep and not hear her annoying voice. 

It was eerie in my house, I didn’t hear Y/N humming over doing anything, who am I kidding she was probably asleep its all she does anyway. I opened my door to my office poured myself a glass of hard liquor and slumped into my large chair. I sat there pondering in the silence not being able to shake the feeling of something missing. 

Finally having enough of it, I charged out of the room ready to yell at Y/N for making me feel this way but when I went into the bedroom she wasn’t there. I checked the kitchen, the basement, the living room and the garage but she was nowhere to be found. 

I went back to the bedroom to find her phone and her keys, I checked all the drawers and the closet and all her personal items were gone. She was gone. She left me. How dare she. 

Who does she thinks she is, thinking she can leave the Joker? Jokes on her I didn’t like her that much anyway, it was time for me to upgrade. 

I glided back into my office and calmly sat in the chair trying to erase the ache I was feeling. With the more alcohol I consumed the more my thoughts raced. 

Why did she leave me? 

She knows better. 

She loves me. 

Over to my right I see the roses I had given her thrown all around the floor, destroyed. The petals withered and brown and a small note laying in the middle of all the chaos. 

“You don’t know what you have until you’ve lost it.” 

_______________________________________________________________________

This was shitty but I’m bored so HEY! Legoo. 

~M

HoneyMoon Phase

Yoongi x Reader

1.5k of Angst

Warnings: Brief Mention of Death

Originally posted by nvmyg

Do you recall…..

The time when we belonged together? The time when we thought nothing could separate us?
Do you remember….
When I would call you sweet pet names and love you till day’s end? When I would help you on your bad days and you would help me on mine?
Do you know… that I miss you?

Of course you don’t. You are Min Yoongi. The Prince of this vile city.

Is this city really vile? …No. I just hate reliving everything from when I was with you…. as I walk down the streets to the park I see you and me. I see us, walking around without a care in the world. Stuck in the stupid honeymoon stage. That stupid place where everything seems wonderful and good. It’s the calm before the storm. The day before the night. The beauty before the ashes. What a stupid concept… The Honeymoon Stage.

Why would you ever want to be a part of it? Sure… it feels good when you’re in it, but the minute things go south… Everything just seems to fall apart. Isn’t it beautiful? The way we fall apart. It’s magical, and it’s tragic. The ways we break our own hearts.


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i want some peace of mind in just a piece of mind
to calm my aching chest and settle the beating i give my head
and i can’t help but recall when i was fifteen
tear-stained pillowcases bringing six years of an unwind
no amount of quiet calling brought any kind of miracle
and i would cope as long as the pain wasn’t critical 

give me the quiet i find in heavy rain
give me how alive i feel in a crowd loud enough to drown the pain
take the hopelessness, tell me i’m repairable
because there’s no such thing as a miracle
and my story is the parable of a lost generation
give me the quiet
give me the quiet 

i know falling stars are real even if i’ve never seen them
i know happiness exists even if i haven’t felt it yet
and i can’t help but recall when i was eighteen
we broke four into two, three years living in a smokescreen
and i lost myself on the bedroom floor of a better childhood
pretending i was better on the pages of a notebook 

give me the relief i find in a dark room dimly lit
give me how alive i feel in the laughter loud enough to counterfeit
take the hopelessness, tell me i’m repairable
because there’s no such thing as a miracle
and our story is the parable of a lost generation
give me the quiet
give me the quiet

they tell me i’m golden but the good die young
and i’m not dead yet so there must be something wrong
monsters wear masks and you should know all that glitters isn’t all what it seems
i’m sorry but your jewellery box isn’t where i belong

i just want some peace of mind in just a piece of mind 
but i’m not dead yet

it won’t be the quiet
but god, give me the quiet
give me the relief
give me the quiet
give me the relief 
give me the quiet 
give me the quiet

one small peace of mind in just one tiny piece of mind 

is that a miracle? 

-e.a.w.

Baby’s Breath: The Epilogue

Genre: Romance/Angst

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

A/N: Here’s the epilogue! With this the fic is done. Thank you everyone who read Baby’s Breath :)

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 4

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Asama x Kamui
Commission for @ayana-88

“Surrender or the Princess dies.”

A small note, crumpled and written in words Asama could barely read. In the bedroom full of broken glass and overturned objects, he had found it stabbed into the table with a bloodied knife. The Princess of Hoshido…his wife.

The note had been discovered seven days ago. Seven agonizing days of wondering what happened to you, where you had gone, if you were alright…if you were alive. The last thought constantly played over and over in his mind.

Trembling fingers passed through his hair, unkempt and the definition of bedhead after six sleepless nights. As the moon rose into the sky, he wasn’t ready for a seventh one. His eyes turned to the stars, a grimace dark on his lips. He’d been lost in his thoughts, nothing else having mattered the last week. The note clenched tight in one hand, the ribbon you always wore in your hair in the other. He’d given it to you just two weeks before you disappeared.

Before the dastards took you.

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tw: anxiety, suicide, transphobia

every year of my transition brings new lessons, new authenticities, new pleasures, new traumas. i was 22 years old, just a kid, when i started testosterone. today, 5 years later, i am 27 and sometimes i struggle to see a continuity between these two points. i am older now, queerer, a little hardened, more expansive, more compassionate, unlocked.

i think the lessons of this year have mirrored, to some extent, a larger truth among the transgender community which can be summed up pretty simply as follows: linear progress is a myth.

last year at this time, i had just begun taking a newer, kinder approach to my mental health. i have struggled with my anxiety for as long as i can remember, but it wasn’t until this past year that i began to realize the full breadth of my disorder. anxiety has often made it incredibly difficult for me to function, has fueled my dysphoria, has made it difficult for me to have good relationships with friends, family, and lovers. in the past i had always blamed myself for these failings, but i finally realized last year that so much of this was simply out of my control. i changed my habits, i got help.

after folding meditation, reiki, and other healing modalities into my daily self care practices, after moving into a healthier living situation, and after making the decision to embrace a plant-based diet, i experienced some of the most incredible peace, clarity, and joy i have ever felt. my mind was a little quieter. i started to smile for no real reason. i felt wholly and unabashedly good.

and, this calm went hand in hand with what i can only describe as a spiritual awakening.  for the first time in my life, i began really and sincerely doing the work of healing on a deep psychic and spiritual level, work which has been beautiful beyond measure. however, this same work also brought up some difficult truths for me, particularly truths around the myriad traumas i’ve encountered as a non-binary trans person. being gentler with myself has meant recognizing my own worth, which in turn has meant recognizing just how painful my adolescence was, has meant recognizing all of the times i have not been supported in my transition and realizing just how many of those difficult times have never been met with the making of amends. still, the locus of everything that came up was a sense that, at long last, i feel worthy of love, of dignity, of respect, of care.

but, all of this calm came crashing to a halt when, on christmas of all days, i experienced one of the worst transphobic attacks i’ve been through to date. my neighbors, apparently spying on me through the window, saw me naked and began loudly yelling hateful and transphobic things about me. it sent me into a spiral. i lost my grip on my anxiety, i dialed my femme back down for weeks. several weeks later, a trans woman in my community took her own life and i came face to face with all of the times i wasn’t sure if i would make it. and, the news keeps time with more and more trans deaths each week, each day while we are told that things have gotten better for trans folks because we’ve earned a little media representation.

all of this to say, again, the idea of linear progress is a myth. there is no moment where suddenly everything is better, where we’re “past the worst of it.” in fact, it is often in these moments when our guard is down that efforts to destroy us seem to be redoubled.  each new present is just a slightly new location in the tide. best not to make broad generalizations.

what i can say, however, is that pleasure attends both highs and lows. i love being queer. i love being trans. i love being non-binary and femme and weird. i love when little kids look at me and get sort of confused for a second but then just shrug their shoulders and move on to the next interesting thing. i love when old ladies glare at me on the train. i love when my neighbors tell me they like my earrings or my nail polish. i love my body. i love my scars. i love my androgynous aesthetic which mostly consists of wearing tight things and all black. i love my singing voice and the songs i make. i love my compassion. i love my resistance.

and i can safely say that in this moment, this 5th year anniversary of my transition, i feel happy and i feel grateful. i’m on the up.

anonymous asked:

hi there,, why would a girl even want to be muslim, I see muslim women all the time in my city wearing all black, gloves veil headscarf, the works. why on earth would i want that for myself? for my daughter?

Hello there,

Thank you for getting in touch. You asked the million dollar question. May I change it a little bit though? “Why would a PERSON even want to be muslim” would be a better version of your question because Islam does not differentiate between men and women when it comes to faith. I am assuming you asked this question to me with a positive intention of learning, not accusing or blaming the faith of billions of people.

So here are some of the things that came to my mind:

Islam is the final version of God’s message. The same message that Noah, Abraham, Jacob, Moses and Jesus (peace be upon all of them) brought. Prophet Mohammad (pbuh) is the final Prophet God sent to human kind. So what is this message?

Believing there is only one God!

So, what would happen if you believe in this message?

When you worship one God, you will be saved from worshiping endless Gods such as: Worshiping people, power, your desires, fame, money, etc (We can talk about this in detail later)

When you become Muslim you will find the actual REASON OF YOUR CREATION which every human being has been trying to find throughout the history:

I have not created the jinn and humankind but to (know and) worship Me (exclusively). (Holy Qur'an, adh-Dhariyat 56)

When you become Muslim you will find THE way for FULFILLMENT. A sense of happiness and fulfillment that you would never find in material things:

Be aware that it is in the remembrance of, and whole-hearted devotion to, God that hearts find rest and contentment. (Holy Qur'an, ar-R'ad 28)

When you become Muslim you will learn how to deal with DIFFICULTIES OF YOUR LIFE:

Those who, when a disaster befalls them, say, “Surely we belong to God (as His creatures and servants), and surely to Him we are bound to return. ” (And they act accordingly. ) (Holy Qur'an, al-Baqarah 156)

When you become Muslim you will have a PERSPECTIVE that will keep you calm in any situation by trusting God:

No affliction occurs on the earth (such as droughts, famines, or earthquakes), or in your own persons (such as diseases, damages to your property, or the loss of loved ones), but it is recorded in a Book before We bring it into existence doing so is surely easy for God. So that you may not grieve for what has escaped you, nor exult because of what God has granted you: God does not love anyone proud and boastful (Holy Qur'an, al-Hadid 22-23)

When you become a Muslim you will know that THIS life IS NOT it. There is AFTERLIFE coming after this. And believing in this will give you THE comfort you have never imagined before:

And the present, worldly life is nothing but a play and pastime, and better is the abode of the Hereafter for those who keep from disobedience to God in reverence for Him and piety. Will you not, then, reason and understand? (Holy Qur'an, al-An'am 32)

I can keep going but it has been a long answer already.

Oh, btw about your remarks on women’ dress style: I am a male, it is not my business to comment on how women should dress. YOUR CHOICE. The Qur'an gives a guideline about how to dress so you develop your own style, which would be YOUR CHOICE. Dressing in a certain way is not a requirement in Islam as long as you meet the requirements of the Qur'an

O Prophet, tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to bring down over themselves [part] of their outer garments. (Holy Qur'an, al-Ahzab 59)

And tell the believing women to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts and not expose their adornment except that which [necessarily] appears thereof and to wrap [a portion of] their headcovers over their chests and not expose their adornment (Holy Qur'an, an-Nur 31)

Wish you all the best,

If you wanna talk more, please get in touch.

@hanasou

The setting sun cast a nostalgic shade across the courtyard, though the serenity in Max’s smile betrayed the view she took in. She had never formally attended a school like the one she passed by until much later in her life. The image of her as a blushing schoolgirl was just another role she had left to gather dust with the records of old assignments. Still, the sight of a school brought her an odd peace of mind, enough to make her forget herself at the sight of a young lady in a red scarf.

“Excuse me, little miss. Are you heading home from school?”

“It’s hardly safe to go all that way alone, least of all in a place like this. Would you mind some company?”

Prayers?

I know there are 1,000 prayer requests floating around already. I’m here to add another one.

Life is insane. There’s no time to explain everything, so I’ll just list what I am begging your prayers for.

-school & feelings of overwhelmingness
-my parents, who still aren’t open to my discernment
-a priest friend of mine, who’s a young pastor & struggling
-for me to figure out what God wants for my future, and the grace to accept it
-for me to move past feelings of fear and feeling paralyzed
-a friendship of mine that once brought much happiness and is now causing much pain
-i understand i don’t have clinical depression, but i do believe I’m going through a bout of it, as some symptoms are apparent
-for my peace of mind
-I’m having a hard time trusting Jesus and trusting that He will make me happy
-I literally cry so much and am so emotional all the time
-for me to deal with anxiety
-I’m struggling with feeling like prayer isn’t changing anything
-that despite everything, I stay faithful

I know that’s a lot. I know the power of your prayers, which is why I come before you, as a sister in Christ. Thank you and God bless you.

What goes around

Part 5 - Wedding Bells

“Sweetie, what’s wrong with you?” Andrea asked as they sat in the backyard. She had noticed that something was wrong with Taylor ever since the moment she walked in the door.

“It’s nothing, mom. I’ll get over it.” She smiled softly and Andrea gave her a questioning look.

“Tell me.” She urged and Taylor sighed softly, staying silent for a few seconds.

“Adam’s getting married.” She told her quietly. “He’s proposing to Harper this week.” She felt like she was physically hurting as she said those words making it more real.

“Oh sweetie, I’m so sorry.” Andrea frowned giving Taylor a hug.

“It’s okay, mom. I’m fine.” Taylor forced a smile.

“You don’t have to pretend for me, honey. I know you like the back of my hand.” Andrea, squeezed her daughter’s hand softly smiling at her.

“There’s nothing I can do, mom. He’s happy. That’s all I can ask for. And Harper’s a great girl. He deserves someone like that.” Taylor nodded looking out at the view. “I’ll just keep being his best friend for as long as I can. That’s all we were ever meant to be.”

“Taylor, you’ve been in love with this boy for three years, even when you thought you weren’t. And I have a feeling, you’re not going to stop. Remember what you told me when you got back from the Bahamas the first time?” Taylor smiled softly at the memories they had made on that vacation. It had been the best of her life. Just her and him alone away from paparazzi and all their troubles. “You said that he was the love of your life. That he was the one you wanted to be with for the rest of your life. Now I’ve seen you go through relationships but never once in my life have I heard you say something like that.”

“And he is still that person. But I’m not that person for him. Maybe I’ll find someone someday, although unlikely, that will mean as much as he does to me. But Adam will never be mine. He’s with Harper. And he’s marrying her.” Taylor wholeheartedly believed in what she was saying. It was her truth.

“I’m not going to sit here and tell you how wrong you are. I hope you find the answer to your problem in your heart.” She was a little confused as her mother stood up and walked inside but she didn’t want to keep talking about Adam. Although he was all she thought about. She stood up herself and followed her mother to the kitchen. “But you can’t let this get you to where you were two years ago. You can’t, Taylor. No matter what you do, you can’t let it happen.”

“I know.” She nodded. “I won’t let it happen again. I’m in a better place and I’ve accepted this. Adam’s just my best friend and I’m going to be happy for him and Harper.”

Taylor had found the farm to be a safe haven. A place she went back to when she felt like hiding out and with Adam proposing to Harper, she definitely felt like getting away. So, Gigi upon hearing the news, she made some time to fly down there to be with Taylor for a bit.

“So how are you dealing with it?”

“I’m writing.” Taylor laughed softly.

“When they get married, you could interrupt and it’d be a movie like moment.” Gigi joked an they laughed together.

“That would be the most embarrassing moment of my life AND I’d lose my best friend.” Taylor shook her head.

“Harper’s nice. At least she’s not a famewhore bitch.” Gigi shrugged, smirking and Taylor giggled.

“She is nice. I think that’s the only thing that makes me feel better. At least I know he’s in good hands.”

“God, why are you so nice? I hate you.” Gigi rolled her eyes, nudging her friend.

“I have no reason not to.” Taylor told her, smiling softly. “Harper’s been nothing but sweet to me and she really loves Adam.”

They stayed silent as they rode the horses around the property. Taylor found the whole place so magical and serene, it brought some peace to her mind and she knew anyone who had been there agreed.

“You know what bugs me?” Taylor broke the silence. “If we had stayed together, if it hadn’t gone to shit, if we had just talked it out and found out what was really happening on each other’s mind, we’d be the ones married by now. If he really was planning on proposing, I would’ve said yes in a heartbeat back then. We would probably be thinking about babies and maybe we would’ve bought this farm and we’d all live here…” she trailed off.

“Babies, huh?”

“Just a thought. I don’t think I’m having kids.”

“Shut up, Taylor! You’d be an awesome mother! A baby of yours would be incredible.” Gigi rolled her eyes and Taylor shrugged, chuckling at Gigi’s offended expression. “And besides, I want to be a godmother. Even if it’s your fifth child!” She joked.

“If I ever have kids, I promise you will be.”

“Close your eyes.” Adam whispered in Harper’s ear and she giggled, doing as told. He guided her down to the backyard where he had set up the place where the proposal would take place. He had laid rose petals on the grass and candles and he had set up a picnic for them to enjoy. “You can open them now.”

“Wow…” Harper mumbled, grinning. “You’re amazing!”

“After you.” He laughed, pointing at the blanket. She sat down. “I want to make your birthday memorable.”

“It already is! First the bracelet and now this! I love you!” Harper smiled at him.

When they finished dessert, Adam took her hands in his and told her to stand up and she did confused. Adam chuckled, pecking her forehead.

“So we’ve been together for a year and you’re incredible. I really do think that you’re the person I’ll be with for a long time. You’re so sweet and beautiful and I want to thank you for putting up with me.” He laughed and took the box out of his pocket. “So Harper Jane, will you marry me?” Adam smiled, standing on one knee in front of her as he held out the ring he had bought.

Harper’s jaw dropped and her eyes widened as she stared at the ring and then back at Adam. She was silent not saying anything then she looked down at her feet, tears glistening in her eyes before she whispers, “No.”

“What?”

“No. I won’t marry you.”

“Harper what do you mean?” Adam was caught off guard. He stood up, his heart beating erratically.

“I can’t marry you when you’re in love with another woman.” Her voice cracked. “I’ve tried to push it out of my mind and to ignore it but it’s impossible, Adam.”

“Harper, we’ve been together for a year, there’s no one else.” Adam took her hand and Harper smiled sadly up at him, placing a hand on his cheek.

“There’s Taylor.” She murmured and Adam didn’t breathe at the mention of Taylor for a few seconds. “And she’s in love with you. She has always been in love with you. You’re in love with each other.”

“That’s not true, babe. I love you.”

“Adam,” Harper shook her head. “Who’s the first person you think when you get good news? Or when you get bad news? When your dad got sick and you didn’t crawl out of bed for a week, who was the person who managed to make you smile? Who is the person who can always cheer you up when you’re grumpy because you’ve been in the studio for too long?”

He doesn’t answer but it’s a given. It’s always Taylor. For absolutely anything. Every situation, he thought of Taylor before anyone else.

“There’s so much more, Adam. She loves you. She knows you better than anyone. Inside out and I was hoping I’d know you like that but I don’t. I’ll never know you the way she does. And she’s been so nice to me. So kind. She’s an amazing woman. She could hate me because I’m with you but she doesn’t. And that’s because she loves you so much. And she’s in a different state at the moment. You told her about the proposal, didn’t you?” Adam nodded his head, tears welling up in his eyes. “And she decided to leave just the week you’re proposing. She’s hurting.”

“You’re hurting.” Adam argued.

“But I’m not the love of your life, she is. And she’s probably crying her heart out in Nashville while you’re here proposing to me.” Harper placed her hand on top of the little black box in his hand. “This isn’t my ring. It’s hers.”

*

Tell me what you feel about this! I love it when you do!

anonymous asked:

Quotes 22 and Situation 15 with Kylo Ren

Quote 22: “Because you’re beautiful” + Situation 15: “I find sketches of me in your book”

-

There was something about you that caught Kylo’s eye, a sort of aesthetic that pleased the man. He couldn’t see as to what it was, as it could have simply been anyone who had consumed his everyday thought, but you…you were the one Kylo found himself drawing to keep at ease. For some reason, a reason he couldn’t seem to comprehend, drawing brought Kylo at peace of mind. Whether it was the light sounds of the pencil sketching over the paper, or the doodle that became the outcome of his thoughts, Kylo seemed to feel so…calm.

“Commander Ren?” You called out, knocking on his door, “Commander Ren?” Calling out again, the door slid open, no one to be in sight. Of course, he could have easily used the Force, but he was nowhere to be found the moment you took a step in. “Commander…?” Aimlessly walking around with the data pad held to your chest, your eyes suddenly landed on that of a leather book sitting on his sofa.

Cautiously walking over to it as you made sure Kylo was nowhere around you, you placed the data pad down and picked up the book, flipping it open and instantly having your heart flutter against your chest. It was sketches upon sketches on each page, filled from top to bottom, the muse being you.

To anyone else, they would’ve been a bit weirded out, but you–you felt flattered and couldn’t help but blush. It wasn’t like he drew himself with you or anything, they were just simple images of you, as if drawn from memory. “You’re flattered…” Nearly jumping at the sound of another voice that wasn’t the usual mechanical sounding one, you dropped the book and turned around, picking up the data pad.

“I-I-…” Getting caught in a gaze, you had never imagined the Commander to be this young or…this handsome. “I’m sorry, excuse me, Commander.” You bowed your head.

“There is no need to apologize, it was intended to be seen. I’m not one to be…creepy and hide things like this. Although it may have seemed that way seeing as you have never seen-”

“Why me?” You interrupted, instantly covering your mouth, only to hear a slight chuckle erupt from Kylo.

“Well…” Taking in a deep breath, he smiled. “Because you’re beautiful.”

anonymous asked:

4 months ago I had to "break up" with my only friend. Let's just say its better to be alone than close to someone like her. Even though I dont want to talk to her I catch myself stalking her online a lot. Is there some way to just forget about her?

I am a person who has the philosophy that no experience is absolutely a bad one. When someone hurts me, instead of deciding to hate them, I tend to focus on and appreciate the good parts they may have brought into my life, however small and forgettable. Of course, that doesn’t mean I go back to being their friend, but it gets me closer to forgiveness and closure. Some kind of peace from the whole situation. After that, it’s just a matter of accepting that it’s over, and keeping in mind the reason why you decided it had to be over. When it becomes accepted, I start rationalizing: even if I did have knowledge of what they’ve been up to, what am I gonna do with it? And how will looking them up effect my recovery from this whole mess? When you sit and analyze it, you learn there’s only poor reasons to go internet stalking your friend, and why do that to yourself? Why invite more of the exact thing you were trying so hard to stop and get away from? These shitty feels? So close the chapter. Take a moment to rest, then start a new one with new people, and try harder this time around to communicate your concerns before it becomes a twisted disaster, or before you put too much emotional investment in them.

Summary: Don’t “just forget about her”, but remember the good times and stay the course. Realize that nothing good comes from internet stalking her, just more hurt for you, and you need to fix yourself up after this ordeal, not make larger wounds. If it helps, delete her info so she’s not easy to bump into, and pick up a new project or try talking to new people to occupy the time you would use to see what she’s been up to.

Fic: The Lucky One (1/1)

Author’s Note: @find-emma-swan asked for a story about either Emma or Killian waking from a nightmare following all the Underworld stuff and the other comforting them. Somehow that prompt evolved into what you see below. Title and lyrics used to head the story come from the Vertical Horizon song of the same name. Feedback makes every day like fanfic Christmas! Enjoy. :)

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At ff.net and below.

—–

I know I’m the lucky one,
‘Cause I’m here and you’re with me
.

—–

Breaking free of the red-tinged dreamscape was a bit like breaking the surface of an angry ocean. The nightmare tried its damnedest to hold onto him and pull him back under but Killian Jones fought the pull with everything he had. It was a dream, he knew it was a dream. Now he just needed to wake up.

He kicked as hard as he could for the surface. His eyes snapped open, his breath escaping his lips in heaving gasps.

The heavy blackness of the darkened bedroom was heaven. No red sky, no underground caverns. The soft mattress beneath him was far more comfortable than the hard, unforgiving rock of the Underworld. The tortured screams that had served as the soundtrack to his nightmare – the same tortured screams that had permeated every inch of Hades’ underground torture chamber – no longer echoed in his ears. Even the sulfur-y smell of Hades’ realm was gone, replaced with the soft, comforting scent of the lavender spray Emma had taken to spritzing on their pillows at night in a last ditch effort to avoid … well, this.

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