it broke my heart

I’m broken.
Bruised and cracked,
From every punch you threw.

I’m broken,
Not physically.
But from the inside out.

I’m broken.
Even though all I ever wanted,
Was for you to be mine.

But don’t worry I’ll still say to you,
I’m fine.

If you’re saying that you love me, then I’d like to watch how you hold me in your arms when I turn into a flooding ocean.

anonymous asked:

How can I still be friends with my ex? She broke my heart but thinks we should be just friends and try again in the future, but we're still arguing over text and calls and I'm just so tired but I don't want her out of my life you know? It's jut frustrating cause she's been getting mad at how I act towards her lol like how am I supposed to act, she left when I needed her most and I'm supposed to be chill with that. I've been trying to so hard to stay cool but also like she did break my heart.

okay FUUUUUUCK THAT let me walk you through the after break up routine:
*put on survivor x destiny’s child, stronger x britney spears, cry me a river x JT, heartless by kanye, or puke x eminem*
1. block her number.
2. block her on every social media site.
3. keep her blocked.
4. write out your thoughts and emotions about the entire situation (you’ll be amazed once you put your feelings into words and realize how fucked up they actually were/are, and especially now so because they lost you) then keep that to read only if you are feeling weak and want to hit them up, or throw that shit away and don’t look back (a crowd favorite).
5. hang out with old friends.
6. buy a gym membership (release your frustration/anger/hurt/sadness in a positive way AND get a banging body at the same time, increasing your strength physically will make you feel stronger in more ways than one).
7. do not rely on alcohol or drugs. don’t replace your broken heart with another liver. trust me on this one.
8. don’t lock yourself in your room. go outside, the sunlight will feel so good on your skin. take your time and be aware of how beautiful everything really is.
9. do not talk bad on their name. I cannot stress this enough. regardless of what they did to you, don’t belittle them. my dad always tells me “hating someone or wanting the worst for someone is like drinking poison and expecting it to hurt them.”
10. do not do things out of spite. do not intentionally do things as a means to get even, make them jealous, or in hopes for their attention. not to be cold, but if they didn’t give a shit then they probably still don’t.
11. do not rebound, I repeat do not rebound. you are hurt. and you need to sort things out within yourself before you bring someone else into the mix, regardless if it’s just sex. respect that person enough to not fuck them up simply because you’re currently fucked up/over.
12. become conscious of your thoughts, do not dwell on the past or where you/she went wrong. it happened. it’s over with. this is now. every day is your day, whatever happens is solely up to you. so get up, dust yourself off and make some moves homie.
13. be patient with yourself. you’ll have mess ups and you’ll have triumphs. some days will be hard as hell and some days they won’t even cross your mind. but all of these things take time. take a deep breath, you got this my friend.
3

“When we are back, I can protect you. No one can hurt you anymore. No one can put a knife on your neck. I’ll take you to the prairie to hunt horses in Xiuli Mountain, to see the endless grassland, to visit my mother in Huihui Mountain. She’s really gentle. She’ll like you.”
~Yan Xun, Princess Agents, Ep.24

What sucks is to watch yourself slowly fall back into old habits that you’ve tried a million times to break. It’s like every time I find myself climbing out of this deep hole, I slip right back in. Why am I such a failure?
After meeting you I just don’t think there will be any other. A part of me will never be whole again. I picked up your habits, good and bad. Phrases you said became a part of me and I find myself using them in sentences. I memorized the lyrics of all your favorite songs and I catch myself singing them randomly. I smell of your scent every once in a while and I cannot help but wonder where you are, and if you are thinking of me as well. I close my eyes and all I see is you. You are in every part of me, consuming me.

I’m going to push you away,

I need you to stay,

but I wouldn’t blame you if you dont

—  God help me//kayla
we’re just suicidal kids telling other suicidal kids that suicide isn’t the answer.
—  (via @sturzpoesie)