it breaks my heart just a little bit

otabek altin is endlessly fond

in honor of the new artwork we were blessed with and the fact that otabek’s love will not LET US REST, i give to you more ways in which otabek is super soft for yuri:

  • yuri does this thing right before he genuinely laughs where his eyebrows twitch just a little and he huffs out a small breath. every time it happens, otabek’s heart stops just a little bit.
  • whenever yuri talks about something he loves, his smile widens, his eyes soften, and he curls his fingers just so. otabek watched him do it once at a group dinner when he was retelling a story about something the two of them did together and he had to leave the table to collect himself.
  • once they got really comfortable with each other, they would often mention how much they love and appreciate having the other as a friend and a confidante. the first time otabek made yuri laugh and turn to him saying, “i love you so much,” in person, he felt so blessed that this person who was his inspiration for so long was suddenly his friend and found inspiration in him too.
  • when they get the chance to spend time together in the summer, they still train. yuri does this thing before he starts running where he bounces up and down on his toes a little bit to get himself in the zone. after a few visits together, otabek finds himself adopting the habit and doing the same thing whether they’re together or not.
  • we’ve already seen that yuri is a really tactile person. otabek is definitely not used to it at first, but over time he learns to really appreciate it. whenever they’re out doing something and he feels a little tug at his sleeve, he automatically smiles and turns around without saying anything, prepared to see whatever it is yuri wants to show him.
  • otabek’s favorite time to watch yuri is when he’s super absorbed in something and not paying attention to his surroundings. he gets really focused and his mouth opens up just a little bit, and when he comes across something he finds really interesting, his eyebrows shoot up before he looks around for otabek so he can share it. it always makes otabek’s heart melt that he’s the first person yuri thinks to show.
  • once they start dating, they purposely plan one big thing to do when they’re in the same city for competitions. since they’re always competing, they like to take a little time for each other to relax and unwind. one time at an art museum, otabek found a room full of ridiculous modern art and they spent an hour coming up with crazy stories and meanings for each piece. otabek is laughing at a joke yuri cracked about a giant metal sculpture that looks like a butt when yuri goes totally silent. otabek turns to look at him, and his face is totally soft and he just whispers, “i’m so in love with you.” otabek spent ten minutes sitting on a bench so he could stop shaking while yuri made fun of him and rubbed little circles into his back.
  • when yuri is really sleepy, he calls otabek baby, and otabek will always gather him up his arms and just…bask? because he’s so content and in love and it’s so gross and he’s so happy?
  • otabek’s favorite nickname for yuri is honey bee because yuri makes everything feel golden and sweet. yuri only pretends to hate it the first few times he says it.

Unless I’m forgetting something…

…has Taako ever been afraid before? Has Taako ever once admitted to being scared of anything he was up against? Because he’s been on the brink of death before, several times, and all I remember are jokes. He’s faced some pretty severe odds, took some incredible risks, but there’s never been any hesitation - short of avoiding things entirely. There have been some awful situations that Taako didn’t seem to take seriously at all.

It’s possible that the prospect of something happening to Lup is the only thing Taako is truly afraid of. 

And considering everything that’s happened, everything that Taako is about to remember, my heart might be breaking just a little bit.

1. I should’ve bought more flowers for you, now I buy flowers even if today isn’t Valentine’s Day or a day with a specific meaning, in a way, every petal is imbued with an apology and every time someone leans in to smell it they can feel the parts of me that you’ve forgiven far long before I could

2. I didn’t start to feel better until I started to take better care of myself, a constant whisper of you saying “i was just worried about you”

3. You can’t let someone be your only source of happiness because once they’re gone, you’re all alone again and there’s nothing worse than starting all the way back over with yourself: square one of a broken heart multiplied by the intensity of she’s not coming back, let her go

4. Music will never betray me

5. Poetry is thinking that you’ve got it figured out and a metaphor is just your way of saying I don’t

6. Art rules the world and I am a masterpiece in progress; how can I love myself like how you did if I can’t see that little bit?

7. Lust isn’t conducive for growth, it’s like an addict trying to get his fix– some day, he’s going to break and not even the drug can help him

8. I buy myself nice things, but I can’t fill this emptiness inside of my heart– I guess some nights, I just miss being next to you

9. I still can’t get used to sleeping alone

10. Sometimes I wish I would’ve picked up your phone calls during the first few months, I broke my promise and you know something? I regret it

11. I threw away our love letters and memories two months ago, I cried the whole time– yeah, still a fool for you, but baby, we’ve changed so much, I’m happy with my unhappy

12. You once told me to go on many adventures without you, did you account for my depression? You know, I don’t blame you for any of this. In reality it was always an us thing, a too young thing, a stupid, mad love thing– as always, I still love you, I just don’t know what love is anymore

13. They were right, soulmates touch you and they change you forever– the moment a colorful paint filled brush hits the water and the figments of colors flow into the cup, you left my soul with so many seasons, I’m still raking up the leaves from last fall

14. The last time I saw you we shouldn’t have had sex, I think that night really broke you– I think that night really broke me too

15. I should’ve laid my head onto your chest and counted your heartbeats more often, I’m sorry

16. Sometimes when I talk to people and tell them random facts that you’ve filled my head up, I swear I can hear your voice echo in the back of my head– “baby, check this out, you’re gonna love it”

17. I always do

18. I still remember your favorite Harry Potter line

19. After all of this time? …Always.

20. I smoke cigarettes to think about how to think less, the fucking irony

21. I take painkillers and my excuse is that my right hand still hurts, in truth, I’m just another addict that believes if I take another maybe my heart might just start to sound like it belongs to me

22. I didn’t cut myself because I wanted to die, I cut myself open because I wanted to feel how often I made your heart break, each scar on my shoulders is a time when I’ve made you cry

23. And each night that I can’t sleep, I stay up wishing that you’re doing okay

24. I don’t pray often, but when I do, I always prayed for your mom, although she hated me, I’m so glad that she put you on this earth to allow us to meet– I have changed so much since I’ve met you

25. The crazy part? You still change me everyday

26. You know the renaissance era? Falling in love with you was like that

27. My favorite photo of us were those two kids eating a banana split at the New Orleans mall, I miss those two innocent kids, oh, how we’ve changed

28. We are destined to have this eternal flame kind of distance– the brighter I burn, the more you’ll read, the only thing that keeps me writing some days is knowing that somewhere, somehow you’re always reading, no matter who you’re with or if you’re laughing or crying or smiling

29. My number one fan was always you first

30. I’ve made so many bad decisions, you were never one of them

31. I’ve written so many bad poems, you were in every single one

32. I’ve written some pretty great ones too tho…!
You were also in those

33. I miss cleaning your eyes for you

34. I have met some amazing people because of what happened to us

35. I can’t get you by Fallbrooke the acoustic version is no longer on the internet, the funny part? The very last day that it was on the web, I downloaded it right before they removed it. It’s still my favorite song of all time, our song

36. Hold your tears by Clazziquai too

37. Sometimes when I get off from work, I sit in the car and cry, some tears don’t have meaning, they just need to come out

38. I claim to write poetry, but I feel like they’re just love letters sent to no one in particular

39. It’s not that I’m not over you, I’m just trying to get used to not needed you

40. It’s not that it hurts to the point where I can’t breathe, I’m just trying to light my own path to self-love and healing

41. The fact that your favorite color is orange, it makes the fruit taste some type of way

42. Sometimes I want to call you, but I don’t

42. Sometimes I want to text you and I do

43. Sometimes I want you to answer, I’m glad you don’t

43. Sometimes I just want to say fuck it all and call, I’m glad that I don’t

44. You stopped writing when we first met, in some way, the girl that waits by the shore has left a million pens near my desk and to this day– I wait by the shore too, just in case inspiration hits, right?

45. Our little codes of love finally decoded enough for me to not be blinded by you

46. We were both messed up people, I think we knew that about each other and maybe that’s why I always know when you’re not feeling okay

47. I still don’t have love figured out, but damn I’ll open every fucking door in my heart even if I have to go down the sewer to find every key

48. Someone says that she’s falling for me, I’m legit afraid to hurt people now– like it’s a real fear, I don’t want to hurt anyone anymore

49. I should’ve given you the stars, but instead I left your heart scattered across the universe

50. It’s been almost two year and I’m still writing about you, but at least it’s less often, right?

51. You’ve always been kinda self-centered, I think you enjoy it when I write about you. Like if I write about you in some way, maybe I’m still yours

52. We were just too damn young to realize how destructive passion, love, romance, stagnation, betrayal and pain is when mixed together

53. Sometimes I go to the places that we used to go just to create new memories without you

54. Sometimes it works

55. Most of the time, it just flicks me off

56. My brain is constantly telling me that I’m a fuck up and the more I try to get it right, the more I keep getting it wrong

57. I am trying to master the art of letting go

58. And this list is a step towards better things

59. And this life is going to be alright

60. Without you, I am still me

61. Without you, I can still breathe

62. Without you, I am still alive

63. Without you, I am still poetry

64. I can barely remember your face, I guess being around a lot of different people at work helps out plenty

65. This world is filled with pain, I hope you look back and smile about us some day

66. Maybe when you’re old and grey– you’ll remember those two young kids who slow danced in the dark

67. If we were made from the same star, I want to return home some day

68. I want to shine bright enough for the two of us

69. You’re still my best friend even if we no longer talk

70. You’ll always be my best friend

71. I still care about you

72. A whole fucking lot

73. The world is full of mysteries, I’m glad that we’re in the known, I’m glad that we’ve met

74. I hope you never regret me, you wanna know why? I could never, ever, ever, ever regret you

75. I don’t know how to open up to people anymore and I’m not sure if it’s my fault or yours– maybe this one time, it’s our fault… are you like this too?

76. I’ve been told that I’m too hard on myself, I firmly believe that one of the reason as to why we split was because I wasn’t hard enough on myself– I got too fucking comfortable with your promises and I took you for granted

77. Life waits for no one

78. I let an ex of mine break my red and black ring– she said that if I was over you, I’d let her break. I let her break it, but jokes on me, it didn’t change a thing about how I still feel about you

79. I keep writing and writing and writing because one of these days– it’ll stop being about you

80. Sometimes it works, but deep down, I know in some way, you’ll always find a way to sneak back out

81. I can’t get you out of my head sometimes

82. It’s even harder because you’re still inside of my heart

83. I saw this cool picture on Tumblr with someone cutting a piece of herself off that resembled two lovers splitting up, that shit looked like it hurt

84. Love hurts because even eating cotton candy ice cream really fast will give you a brain freeze

85. You didn’t like my rat tail idea, I grew one out just to fuck with you. Jokes on me, I love it now.

86. You never really supported the idea of me being anything, tbh, it’s not your fault. None of it is. I should’ve been my own motivation. I guess by supporting you through nursing school, I wanted to hear you say that I could do it even when I was at my lowest point.

87. I realized a few thing about loving you.

88. When you hit rock bottom, few will be loyal enough to stick it out with you

89. Money rules the world, since I’m not wealthy in any way– one day when I am, I can laugh a little about all of this

90. I think you loved our memories more than you loved me, in truth, I did too

91. Maybe that’s why it’s hard to get close to people

92. Maybe that’s why it’s hard to let you go

93. Maybe that’s why you still read

94. We had something raw and experimental, young and dumb, mistakes on top of mistakes

95. It was a perfect compass to point us to our future selves

96. I know a great many things now– although I am depressed, with or without you

97. I am great, I am strong

98. I am my own happy before anyone else’s

99. I can love myself enough to let you go

100. I had to hurt you to really, really grow–
I think to this day, that’s the thing that hurts me the most. That I had to hurt my best friend in this whole wide world, to make you crumble, to make you cry, to make you hate me– I had to do all of that in order to love myself. And it’s sad because here I am, still trying to figure it all out.



With or without you, I will be a better person.
—  100 things I figured out when we broke up
The problem with drinking? You have a thirst you can’t quench, one you can’t satisfy no matter how much you take down. It’ll numb you kid, but only for a little bit. Just enough to trick yourself into thinking you’re not in pain, so that you can sleep just for a night.
—  Shade
Things The Signs Have Said That Break My Heart
  • Aries: Was I ever anything more than a sad kid? I thought the drugs would help, but they just make you sadder and a little deader. I really tried my best, but I don't think there's much use anymore. Nobody cared then, and nobody cares now.
  • Taurus: I'm sorry, but I fell in love with you. I watch you move and I'm captivated. The world slows down just a little bit when I look at you. I wanna kiss your long neck, and run my fingers through your curly hair. I wanna listen to you talk for hours about old movies and bad music. I wanna hear every word that you have to say. But I can't, because you're in love with someone else
  • Gemini: I dreamed so much as a little kid. All those dreams are dead know. The world has a lot of fun killing little girls dreams.
  • Cancer: Please don't go! Stay! Stay! I need you to stay! No one ever stays.
  • Leo: I used to be special. Everyone thought I was going to be this amazing person. They thought I would do great things, but look at me. I'm nothing. If I was anything, it would be a failure.
  • Virgo: She just left. She didn't say anything. In one simple second, all the love and laughter that we had, was ripped from both of us. She just decided she did't feel like loving me anymore.
  • Libra: It's all gone. Any hope that I had is gone.
  • Scorpio: Do you think that if I get prettier, he might look at me like he used to? Maybe he'll love me again.
  • Sagittarius: The whole world is at my fingertips, they say, but I can't seem to ever grab it.
  • Capricorn: I could tell she didn't love me anymore. She would smile, but in her eyes I could see the pity and slight disgust she had for me. I tried to stop loving her, but I couldn't. I felt pathetic, like I was stood up. But this time I couldn't just go home and forget about it the next day. She was, and still is, my everything.
  • Aquarius: I don't want to feel this anymore. I don't want to be trapped in my mind. I want to live again. I just want to see the light one more time.
  • Pisces: Could you just tell me you love me? You don't have to mean it. I just want, for a second, to feel loved.

- Ignis, can you… sense light?
- To a degree, yes.
- So when dawn breaks, you’ll know it.
- I should.
- Good to know.

No matter how many times I watch it, this face always breaks my heart.

Look how fucking vulnerable he is. She’s just told him she’s avoiding him and his face looks so hurt and unable to comprehend. “Why, Swan? What did I do? We were fine last night. What happened?” and there’s half of him that’s probably. “This is it. This is where she tells me i’m not good enough. I knew it was too good to be true.”

His ‘scared little boy eyes’ wide open, his wifi brow at maximum angst signal.

But then I also fucking hurt for this bit right after.

Cos those defences are straight up and he’s all shielding himself. 

Mouth firmly shut, eyes are duller, Wifi signal gone- Emma’s not allowed the password for his feelings anymore.

But it’s what he says and the way he schools himself that kills me. “There’s more to this than just Regina, isn’t there?”

He fucking knows she’s lying but i always wonder just what he thinks she’s truly avoiding him for?

Does he think she regrets it? Is it because of what he is? Is it because her parents don’t approve of him? 

I swear it’s like you can see all those insecurities swimming around in his head and he’s just confronting her there and then, wanting to hear from her mouth just which one is it that’s making her run from him. Because i’m sure in his mind it’s one of them and it’s best to get this over with now rather than have to go another week of Emma politely brushing him off or avoiding him at every cost. 

His expressions in this scene just really destroy me every damn time and i’ll never be over talking about them.

Who’s been calling Cas...?

So Dean, what was that about you said about Cas not answering our phone calls? Because unless you’ve started referring to yourself in the plural…

Oh, and Cas clearly looks at or listens to all of those messages, as he said before, since there are two messages alongside one “new” message. Because I needed my heart to break just a little bit more.

Clingy (Part 1)

This one is really personal to me. I hope you all like it! ♡♡♡

Prompt:

Where Y/N loves him, but what if he doesn’t appreciate it?

It had been a couple of months since you and Harry had started dating. It wasn’t long, but you already had strong feelings towards him. You couldn’t help it, it was something that had become a part of you. When you were in a relationship, you became too attached. You gave your absolute everything in the relationship. You would never hesitate to change your schedule if it meant that you two could get some time together. Whether it was a friend, or a boyfriend. You always tried your best to make it work.

For you, a relationship wasn’t something just to pass time. It meant that the person had a special place in your life, and in your heart. Sometimes it felt like you were the only one who was putting in the efforts, and that hurt you quite a lot. But you never let that change who you were as a person. 

There were times when you worried that you came off as clingy or desperate, and that had become one of your biggest insecurities. However, as time went by, you had learnt to save your ‘institnct’ for those who were actually worth it. That included some of your friends, your family, and of course your boyfriend, Harry.

Harry and you first met at a concert. It was the time that One Direction had recently taken a break. You both happened to be in the same crowd. Throughout the concert, you two danced together, and talked lots. Afterwards, Harry asked you out on a date, and you agreed. You both agreed to meet at a café nearby, and that was the start of something new. You had a lot of fun that night, and that led to a second date, which had let to now, when you had been dating for 5 months.

You had grown fond of him, as he had of you. You knew that you had strong feelings for him, but you didn’t know if he felt the same, and you didn’t want to risk it by telling him just now. There were times when you got insecure of your relationship, and you wondered why he chose you. Harry had previously assured you that he genuinely enjoyed your company, and wanted to be with you. You had gotten comfortable with Harry to a great extent, and had found yourself telling him things that you hadn’t told anyone else.

You knew that Harry led a busy life, so you always tried to compromise for him. You would often ditch your own plans if you found out that Harry had none, just so you two could spend some time together. Once you canceled a trip that your friends had planned, because Harry was home and you wanted to treasure your time together. You even went as far as to going along with his plans. If he went out with his friends, you would tag along so you could be in his presence just a little longer. You spent a lot of time at his apartment, sometimes in his absence. He said that you had made his apartment, a home. When you were apart, you made sure to send him short texts every now and then, just so he could know that you were thinking of him.

There were times when you worried that he would start getting bothered by your constant actions, but you pushed that fear away and started believing that he wasn’t like the others, and that he would actually appreciate the fact that you cared for him more than for your own ego. He had never shown any sign that would make you think otherwise.

Thinking about it now, maybe you should have looked a little closer?

It was the day that you had off from work. You knew that Harry was at home as well, so you decided to go over and surprise him at his house. You had been thinking about your feelings for him a lot lately, and you had decided that what you felt for him was too strong to be ignored. You finally built up the courage to decide that you loved him, that he now had your heart in his hands and you hoped with everything in you that he would take care of it. You could only hope that he felt the same way, because you had no idea of what in the world you would do if he didn’t.

You knew that you couldn’t force someone to love you, or to even like you. But you wished that he did. You had done everything that you could, so you could make him feel comfortable with you, to be the one he would admire and want to spend his life with.

On your way there, you got excited just thinking about what would happen if he actually felt the same for you. Would you make love? Would he ask you to move in with him?

By the time you parked your car in his driveway, your nerves were sky-high. However, you didn’t fail to notice the other car standing there. The minor heart attack you had, quickly died when you realized that it was Ed. You were a little bummed because you wanted to be alone with him, but you were good friends with Ed as well, and he treated you like his little sister.

After quickly texting Harry, “I have a surprise for you”, you walked to your boyfriend’s door, and weren’t surprised to find it open. You quietly sneaked in, not wanting to disturb them in case they were in the middle of a conversation. Your movements halted to a stop when you heard your name,

“Oh I meant to ask you about her. How is she doing? I haven’t been able to see her in a while.“ It was Ed. You shut your eyes, waiting for Harry’s answer. “She’s fine, I guess”

You couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed at that, you had expected a more heartfelt reply.

“What do you mean? Is everything okay?” Ed asked.

Please, please. You begged Harry in your heart.

You didn’t know what you were hoping for, but what came at you next was certainly not what you wished for.

“I sometimes feel like she tries too hard. It’s like she’s always around, I mean, I like her a lot, but I just need my space a little bit. She always wants to hang out, she wants to go out with me even when I’m going out with my friends. Hell, I probably get like a hundred texts from her daily. She’s just, clingy.”

You could feel your heart break in a million little pieces. The one person that you had expected for to be okay with how you were, even he had turned his back on you.

You tried to hold your tears back, you really did, but it seemed impossible. You were quick to turn around and go out of the door, as silently as possible. It wasn’t that hard, considering the both of them were in the middle of a very private conversation. Why were you eavesdropping anyway?

Your heart hurt, you hadn’t expected Harry to say that. As you slid into your car and backed out of his driveway with that thought in mind, your mind halted to a stop.

You should have been expecting this.

It had happened before, people had told you that you were too attached, or ‘clingy’ as Harry put it, whether that be previous boyfriends or some of your so called ‘friends’. 

Why did this hurt the worst? Maybe because you wished that Harry would have been the one person to accept you as you are. You felt like laughing at yourself, you felt stupid for feeling so strongly about him. 

You were tired.

Drained.

Tired of giving your everything to the people who didn’t deserve it. 

This lasted only until you reached home, though. As soon as you were back in the privacy of your own home, you broke down. You let out the tears that you had been keeping in ever since you had heard the dreaded words. You slid down the wall next to your door, as your body shook with sobs. You felt broken, as if something had been taken from deep inside of you.

You couldn’t help but think why? Why were you the one who got punished when all you wanted was to make the other person feel appreciated. You felt yourself getting dizzy as the tears continuously escaped your eyes. You couldn’t think of a time in your life when you had cried this hard. Although it wasn’t anything new to you, what you felt for Harry definitely was. You had never had such strong feelings for anyone else, and you couldn’t bear the thought of letting him go.

So you made your decision; this was it. You were going to change.

Evan Peters- Liar

Word Count: 2035

Warning: heart break, cussing, and my weird writing.

A/N: I don’t really watch Evan Peters interviews and such , so I’m sorry if this isn’t the way he’ll act.
——––——–—–—–—–
Flashback
Calm down Y/N. You’ll be okay. You are gonna live your dream! He’ll be happy. You’ll come back. At least you’re at home and no-

I snapped out of thought when Evan tapped my shoulder.

“Are you okay babe?” Evan said to me

I looked at him and gave a light smile.

“Of course I am!” I said

“You looked scared.” He said with a frown, “Are you sure?”

“A little bit. I’m just have to tell you something.” I said putting my head down.

He grabbed my hands, “You can tell me anything and you know that.”

“Okay…” I took a deep breath, “I got the job I wanted.”

I looked up to see him smiling.

“That’s great ne-” I cut Evan off.

“It’s in England.” I said looking down.

He tried to speak words, but nothing came out.

“I’m sorry Evan…” I said on the verge of tears.

“Hey…” he said quietly, “Don’t cry. We’ll see each other soon. I can visit.” He said lifting my face up with a finger. He kissed me lightly.

“It’ll be alright…”

END OF THE FUCKING FLASHBACK BITCHES

“It’ll be alright” was the only thing floating through my mind.

“Liar…” I said as I looked at the photo.

It was him and his co-worker, Emma, kissing.

“THAT FUCKING LIAR!” I screamed as I flung a paint brush across the room.

How could he. How could he do that to me. I thought he was the one! The one who wouldn’t hurt me.

I’m wrong.

I grabbed a canvas out of a box and painted my heart out.

All I could do was paint. All I could think of was the hurt and pain running through me.

I was crying as I painted. All the colors I used expressed my emotions. Each brush stroke expressed my pain. How they were shades of blue and maroon with rough and jagged strokes.
(A/N: I think that expresses sadness and anger.)

In the end it was an abstract painting of a girl  on her knees crying, ripping her chest open to reveal her broken heart. Her head was tilted back and her long hair was so jagged, but it flowed down.

I smiled weakly as I signed my name. I felt a bit better, but a hole was still in my chest. I felt nothing there. Where is used to feel a pulse. Now I feel nothing there. It hurt.

I checked the time.
3:00 am.
(A/N: I don’t know how to convert it.)

I just took off my clothes and slept. I was drained emotionally and physically.

-Le Next Day-

I woke up with a knock on my apartment, or flat is what they say here, door.

I got up an-

“I’m leaving today!” I said

FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!!

I ran to a suitcase and grabbed a shirt and sweats. I got in the restroom and did stuff.

Someone was knocking.

“THE DOOR!” I yelled with my toothbrush in my mouth. I ran to it and opened it.

“Ms. Y/L/N your ride is ready to leave.” The man said in a very thick British accent, that sounded a bit like Matthew Lewis.

“I will be down in three minutes.” I said trying to smile with a toothbrush in my mouth.

“Will you need help?” The man said.

“Yes please, but not my green bag.” I said calmly.

“Yes ma'am.” He said with a smile.

I went back to the restroom and rinsed my mouth. I packed up my toiletries, and started to think.

Where am I going to stay? I’m not going back home. I need a plan.

Maybe Y/F/N will be able to let me stay at their place.

Or you can confront him!

No little voice. I will not confront that asshole.

Fine! Suit yourself.

I’m going crazy aren’t I?

Yes. You are talking to yourself.

Maybe that little voice is right. Maybe I should talk to him. Maybe it wasn’t what I thought of. Also that I need to get checked for any mental disorders.

“Ma'am. The car is ready and so are your luggage.” The man said.

I snapped my head to him.

“Thank you.” I smiled at him politely, “I will be out.”

He nodded and left.

Time to stop thinking and relax for an hours now.

-Time Skip brought by Jimmy Dean-

So that was a lie about not thinking. I thought a lot.

About life decisions and a lot about Evan.

Was he worth my tears?

I shook the thought of my head.

WAIT!

Who’s picking me up?

I got my carry on from the over head compartment, and exited the plane wearily. I went to baggage claim and got my bags. The others are going to be shipped to my house. Well our house.

I sighed I turned my phone on. Should of down that earlier. Whelp!

It took a couple minutes for it to turn on, but soon all the notifications came in.

Twitter.

Instagram.

Facebook.

One from MySpace.

19 missed phone calls and 20 messages from him.

I texted F/N to pick me up. Even if Evan came I won’t go with that asshat.

She said she’ll be there in 46 minutes because she lived close by and no traffic.

I went to sit and relaxed.

I went to my texts and said, “We are over. Don’t look for me. Don’t speak to me. We are over.”

My fingers hovered over the send button. I breathed in and hit send. It’s over. Time down the drain.
(A/N: Even my heart is hurting writing this.)

I stare at my phone noticing all these notifications. Mostly Twitter, so my curious mind decided to check.

So many people were bashing Evans and Emma. Whelp. Serves them right.

Some people say I deserved it and they saw it coming. Those soggy ass waffles.

I decided to respond.

“If I couldn’t see it coming then… How would you?” I tweeted.
(A/N: Cringe)

I turned off all notifications except my essentials. Messaging and phone calls. I just muted Evan. Simple.

Break down again! It’s healthy.

Not this again.

You made me up. This is you. I’m telling you what you tell your friends. You even say it’s good advice, so why not take it.

Because I don’t want to cry anymore!

I said to the little voice with an annoyed expression.

I got my earbuds out and decided to try and relax.

I put my Spotify songs on shuffle and let relaxation take over me.

I got troubled thoughts
And the self-esteem to match

Great.” I mumbled to myself taking a deep breath.

What a catch, what a catch
Whoa
You’ll never catch us
So just let me be
Said I’ll be fine
‘Till the hospital or American Embassy
Miss Flack said I still want you back
Yeah, Miss Flack said I still want you back
I got troubled thoughts
And the self-esteem to match
What a catch, what a catch
And all I can think of
Is the way I’m the one
Who charmed the one
Who gave up on you
Who gave up on you
They say the captain
Goes down with the ship
So, when the world ends
Will God go down with it?
Miss Flack said I still want you back
Yeah, Miss Flack said I still want you back
I got troubled thoughts
And the self-esteem to match
What a catch, what a catch
And all I can think of
Is the way I’m the one
Who charmed the one
Who gave up on you
Who gave up on you
What a catch
What a catch
What a catch
What a catch
I will never end up like him
Behind my back, I already am
Keep a calendar
This way you will always know
I got troubled thoughts
And the self-esteem to match
What a catch, what a catch
And all I can think of
Is the way I’m the one
Who charmed the one
Who gave up on you
Who gave up on you
Where is your boy tonight?
I hope he is a gentleman
Maybe he won’t find out what I know
You were the last good thing
We’re going down, down in an earlier round
And sugar, we’re goin’ down swinging
Dance, dance, we’re falling apart to halftime
Dance, dance, and these are the lives you’d love to lead
Dance, this is the way they’d love
If they knew how misery loved me
This ain’t a scene, it’s a goddamn arms race
This ain’t a scene, it’s a goddamn arms race
One night and one more time
Thanks for the memories
Even though they weren’t so great
He tastes like you, only sweeter
Growing up, growing up
I got troubled thoughts
And the self-esteem to match
What a catch, what a catch

I remained at the airport till my friend picked me up. I trusted them with my life, and sometimes I shouldn’t.

They took me in and they gave me everything I needed. They were great, but what lingered on my mind was.

Evan…

-Time Skip: A week-

I opened the door and saw him. Why is he here!? I was about to close it, but he put his foot in the way.

“Y/N. Hear me out.”  I heard her voice say softly.

I nodded slowly unsure of what to say because if I did this would be a shit show.

“The article isn’t true.” He said to me, “We were going out to lunch together after a shoot with the cast. I was whispering something in her ear because I didn’t want others to hear, of course. They photoshopped to make us look like we were kissing. I swear. I would never hurt you. You make me so happy! You make me the happiest man!” He used small hand gestures. I looked in her eyes to see if he was lying, but he wasn’t, “I love everything about you. From how your hair smells to how sweet you are! I would never ever hurt you like this. I promised you.” He said with his voice cracking in the end.

“You really didn’t do any of it?” I said quietly.

He lightly grabbed my face.

I hesitated, but I grabbed one of his hands lightly.

“I would never lie to you for something this huge. Without you I don’t feel whole. I don’t feel me without knowing I can’t protect you. It hurts knowing I hurt you. It even hurts going home because I know you aren’t there.” He said looking me in the eye.

He really wasn’t lying.

You miss him. Go to him.

At this moment I didn’t hate this voice. It was right.

“I love you.” I said hugging him.

He hugged back almost instantly.

I pulled back and dragged him into the house.

Then I started thinking as I locked the door.

I turned back to him.

“What did you say to her?” I said to him.

He blushed.

Now it was his turn. He hesitated.

“I told her that I-I wa-wanted to m-marry you.” He said very nervously.

My eyes widened, but I smiled.

“You want to marry me?” I said sheepishly with a blush evident on my face.

“I still do.” He said confidently.

“Is that offer still up?” I said rubbing my arm.

I just got him back and I’m asking him to basically marry me.

He smiled widely and got down on one knee.

“Will you Y/N Y/L/N become my partner-in-crime for life, even in the afterlife?” He said pulling a a black box out with a beautiful ring inside.
(A/N: Imagine the ring because I don’t know your style at all.)

“Yes!” I said jumping on him.

I smashed my lips on him and he smiled into it. This kiss was a kiss that made up all the lost time.

He was my world. He made me so happy. His personality made me smile, and his looks made me smirk.

He was mine and I love him.
———-
A/N:
The next part will involve some naughty things.

Divine

I followed all the rules, when I came here the first time. Listened to all of the stories, the tips, believed all of the warnings and the worries. Watched some classmates disappear, sometimes covered with excuses of transfers, sometimes not, watched suspiciously or with awed eyes to those who were suspected to be other.

But I never saw a single thing. I never saw the creatures late in the library, I never heard things scratching on my windows, and I never felt eyes on the back of my neck walking home in all the dark, clutching iron nails in my jacket pockets.
I’m from the South, you see, and down there we don’t have this Fae nonsense. There’s no flimsy fairy circle to be warned about, no rock in the middle of the road; sure, I’d read the fables, but that’s all they were to me. Fables.

I believed in something different. That’s all it came down to; belief. 
So when I brought the shrine with me, and gave it its own shelf, I shouldn’t’ve been surprised that everything left me alone for the first year. I shouldn’t’ve been surprised that, as I was deaf to my gods, so was I blind to the Fae. (You learn to listen in other ways.)

It was only that first summer, when I wore something other than a t-shirt for the first time, and my ankh tattoo finally was blessed by the sun for the first time, and my friend flinched away from me when I turned to talk to someone, it was only then that I started to take note.
I couldn’t see them - of course, this will come as no surprise - I couldn’t see them, I couldn’t hear or touch them, not like some of my friends swore they could, but.
When I was holding that ankh necklace, when I was wearing that tattoo, when I was believing, they could tell. I learned which days to wear the necklace over my shirts, and which days to hide it under the binder.

It wasn’t until two years later, when I painted gold onto my eyelids, that I could see for the first time.
But that’s getting ahead of myself. I had two years of knowing nothing; of seeing friends Taken and gone, of some of them coming back, of wondering what it was that I wasn’t seeing, and wondering when my belief wasn’t going to hold me safe anymore.
I brought my cat up to campus, in one of the apartments nearby (did the campus own these? were they just affiliated with it? I’m still not sure, to this day) and then when I set up my shrine, certain friends stopped coming in without permission. My cat followed me about the small space, over and over again, waited for me by the door every single day, and purred on my lap for hours. (It wasn’t until years later that I would call him a “familiar” for the first time.)

The next year was rough. I still never saw a thing; I made friends, I joined clubs, I branched out to new places and new people and new classes, I drew fantastical things in my sketchbook, I wondered and wondered whether the softest tone of a bell I heard in one class was something Other, I wondered and wondered whether the thunderclap that we all heard one day with clear sky was something Other, and yet I never knew anything for sure.

I stopped carrying iron, stopped wasting my ramen packets (that stuff is so, so bland without it, so I savored every possibly last bite I got) stuffing them in pockets, stopped wondering. I stopped looking at certain students with awe and wonder, stopped darting glances over my shoulder late at night, stopped pretending to have seen something my classmates had. I had followed all the rules; done everything right; and never seen a thing. I had friends who would swear up and down and around the mountain that they were real, that the Gentry (their word, never mine), had done this or that, that they had seen something or other, but never me. It was a quaint university, that was for sure, but was it really magical?

And then I saw her. She was the first person to ever seem More, to me, the first person to shine in my eyes like she had some kind of luck brimming in her smile, the first person to freeze me solid with her laugh (oh, there were others, who sent shivers all up and down my spine in the best ways, but this one, this one was different somehow) and the first person to touch the fox tail I’d worn for years with wonder, and not disgust or barely-hidden half-curiosity half-abhorrence. 

I bribed her with gummy sharks, all the while thinking about the fables - for, to me, they were truly only fables - of eating food in the Fae world, of being stuck there forever. All the while wondering breathlessly about the idea that maybe, for the first time, I was Seeing.

I met her again on the lawn, looking for someone else, and I sat and found that she, too, drew fantastical things and creatures without name. I found that she wore no shoes, and when she laughed I wanted to listen to the sound forever. And when her eyes glittered just so, then I wanted to drown in their blue.

I bribed her with gummy sharks, and dances, and honesty; the greatest gift that one could give on this campus, I had learned, and I’d honed mine to a brutal point.
And, eventually, when I tangled my fingers finally in that curly ocean of teal, dyed colors and colors that I did not know could come in a tube or a on a brush, I felt like magic for a moment.

It wasn’t until she flinched at the first mirror that I started to suspect anything, for real. It wasn’t until then that my heart knew, and my mouth started speaking with that brutal honesty it was so good at. It wasn’t until then that something in my gut changed, something in my heart stirred, and something in my hearing clicked.
I heard padding footsteps on the path behind me, that night, felt something curling in the mist around me, that night, as I walked away from her dorm.

I still didn’t believe it. Not really, not truly; but I did clutch to my necklace when I walked away, a little too fast, and I did relax in my car, sheathed in metal, a little too much. 

She changed me.

And when I told her my stories, her eyes lit up, and when she told me her worlds, I listened with rapter attention than I had paid anyone here, shivers dancing on my spine and gooseflesh on my arms (no feathers; I was embarrassed to admit even to myself that I had checked, later, in the bathroom, alone with my cat.) and something shivering new in my heart.
And when she looked at me, I felt like I had become the center of every vision on earth; and when she laughed for me, the feelings that swelled in my heart swelled without name; and when I kissed her, I thought that it was nothing more than what it was; smiles and flattery and - daresay - love.

But then the meat in the dining hall tasted a little bit different that night. But then the salt burned my tongue a little more than it should - how should salt burn your tongue, anyways? How do you describe what should and shouldn’t taste, how things changed just enough to notice them but only once, because pineapple and oranges taste so good, how had I never tried those before?

I’m getting away from myself again. It’s easy; easy to get lost. Maybe that’s what they mean by Taken, sometimes. Maybe that’s why english majors and storytellers and musicians are the most oft to come back.

Anyways. It entered my life in bursts, leaps and bounds, fits and starts: the half feral cats purred at my touch, the crows regarded me with careful eyes, the rain kissed my lips and dusted my eyelashes like gems. The music spoke back to me, random patterns finding less random and more sass; the tarot deck she would push into my hands would speak louder, eventually.

She called me beautiful; and I had no words to reply. She called me divine, and my heart sung out in response so loud and so unerringly that I could not say no, and within a month I had inked it into my skin.

The artist gave me rose quartz to hold, told me that there is no divinity without pain, and the sigils on my arms burned like fire the first time I stepped foot back on campus.
But that was alright.
Because I could hear them now, because I met the fox eyes and lightly glowing gazes with my own raised high, with a proudness that had infected me, somewhere, when someone a little less human and a little too magic had told me I’ll have enough confidence for the both of us, and at the end of that winter everything had changed.

I mean that mundanely, of course. I couldn’t See anything yet, but new scars stretched across my chest and suddenly, shirtlessness was possible, and suddenly, my tattoos meant something more, and suddenly, I was myself and there was no other way to be.
I convinced her she was Fae at some point, over that break, too. With whispered words beneath blue fairy lights, and the snow trapping us alone, with my heart beating so much closer to the outside world than it had been, wrapped in a form that wasn’t quite mine, we spun tales at one another until she was half joking to worship me, and I was half joking to change my piercings out for less iron ones.

The joke stopped the day I painted gold onto my eyelids. With her supervision, and my nervousness - just a little bit of makeup - just a little bit of makeup - we surrounded my eyes in gold and she smiled, by my gods did she smile, and my heart felt so radiant I could not want for anything else in that moment.

And then I left her dorm to trek my way home, to my cat, and my lights, and my bed - sorrowfully empty - and when I raised my head to meet the eyes of another student, I had to look twice as high as I ever had before.

As it turns out, the Fae have an agreement - this Court with others, that Court with some, ancient beings with ancient beings, and - for me at least, far be it for me to speak for others - occasionally, the child of the divine.
All it takes is belief - belief in the Fae, belief in the rumors, belief in the iron around your fingers and the salt in your pockets - belief in what will and will not work, belief in the world around you and the one that you cannot see - and belief in your own kind of magic.

I believed hard enough in the divine touching me - and, maybe, roped a child of the Fae into speaking it into truth - that maybe they did.
And now I never leave the house with my eyes unburdened by gold, without my fingers wrapped in a carefully picked pattern of gold and iron rings, without the glitter of divinity speckling my skin, without the pride in myself decorating my features, inspired by someone who won’t use her roommates’ iron cutlery anymore.

[x]

2

Imagine being a teenaged Avenger and sneaking Peter’s suit back to him when Tony takes it.

**Warning- Spider-Man: Homecoming Spoilers**

Seeing him this dejected made your heart break just a little bit as you pulled Peter towards his room.

“[f/n], wh-what’s going on?” he asked.

“Tony’s going to kill me for this,” you mumbled as you pulled the suit out of your backpack. “Take it.”

Peter’s eyes widened, “H-how did you get it back?”

You shook your head and held it out to him, “Don’t ask.”

He continued to stare, his mouth hanging ever so slightly open, “But why?”

You sighed and rubbed a hand over your face, “Okay, so I know Tony wants to teach you a lesson about being more than just the suit. I totally get that and I respect his reasons. But I also know you’re going to go after this guy anyways. I just don’t want to see you get killed because you didn’t have the suit.” You ran your hand through your hair, “I mean, I guess that’s kind of negating the whole ‘you’re more than the suit’ thing, but I don’t want to see you get hurt, okay? This guy… he’s the real deal. So just take the damn suit and go get him, got it?”

A slow grin spread across Peter’s lips. Without thinking, he put both hands on either side of your face and kissed you. He pulled away just as quickly, eyes wide and cheeks dusted pink. “I, uh, I- thanks,” he stammered out at last, holding the suit to his chest.

You felt your own ears heat up. “Go get him, Spidey.”

Gif Credit: Peter

Remember when Artemis broke down and cried for that single minute (“and then became himself again”) after rescuing Arty v.1?
I imagine Butler feeling a bit uncomfortable. His principle, this little boy with a frozen heart, who had him help kidnap a fairy, kill off the last of an entire animal species, and many other things, has just fallen to the ground on his knees and is literally sobbing. And I just imagine Butler having close to no idea of what to do about it. Maybe he’s a little heart broken at seeing his dear principle crying; maybe he’s just glad another adventure is over, or maybe he’s even happy to see this child who is more of an adult than anyone simply break down and cry for a bit.

For Your Love || Jeff Atkins x Asexual!Reader

I’m glad you asked, because I’ve seen a few imagines with asexual readers and I noticed a repeat of something that really bothered me. Always by the end, they were magically cured by ‘the one’. Like, no. If that’s someone’s sexual orientation, or lack thereof, they’re not going to change it for one person. If people truly desire our asexual cupcakes, they’re not going to constantly be trying to convert them.

Word Count: 1,174

Warnings: Mild Bullying, Sexual Dialogues

~


    You had thought your relationship was going well. Marcus Cole, straight-A student and President of the Honor Board, was what most would consider a perfect gentleman. He would hold open doors for you, carry around your bags; basically, treat you like you always thought guys should treat their girlfriends. But it was on the night of the back-to-school Winter Formal that you saw him for who he truly was.

    The two of you had just taken a break from dancing to go grab some punch. Upon hearing from Montgomery that it’d been spiked, you stuck to grabbing a soda, watching Marcus pick through the large platters of snacks with a frown.

    “Hey, do you want to get out of here?” he asked, nodding towards the door. “We could go back to my place and hang.”

    “Are you not having a good time?“ you responded.

    He shot you that that sly smirk, never failing to melt your heart. "I just thought maybe we could have a little bit more if we were alone.”

    The smile that had begun to itch across your face faded quickly, replaced by a concern that furrowed your brows and forced you to cast your eyes downward. “Can’t we stay longer? I wanted to ask Tony if he could get some slow songs playing.”

    You felt Marcus’s hands slide around your hips, drawing you against his chest—what might have been comforting under normal circumstances, but now it just served to make your stomach twist with nerves. “Come on, Y/N. You know you can trust me.” He leaned down, teeth nipping at your ear. “I’ll be gentle.”

    You shoved your hands against his chest, scrambling backwards a few feet. “Wait! I really need to tell you something.”

    “What?” he asked, sounding, and looking, pretty offended.

    “I’m asexual,” you said quickly. “It’s not like I don’t like you, I really do. It’s just… I don’t enjoy sex like that.”

    He seemed taken aback for a moment, before finally clearing his throat to speak. “So you don’t think we’d be having sex any time in the nearby future?”

    “I’d rather if we didn’t,” you replied, feeling as if your chest was rattling with broken glass. “We could still have a good relationship together.”

    “Look, Y/N,” he began. “You’re a gorgeous girl. I mean, every guy in this school wants you, and plenty hate me for being the one you chose. I just don’t think you’re ever going to find someone who’ll keep you if you keep holding out like this.”

    You stared at him in shock. “Wh-what?”

    He patted your shoulder, shaking his head sadly. “This just isn’t going to work out between us. When you get over this phase, or whatever this is, call me, okay?”

    “What the hell, Marcus?” you asked, voice raising. “Did you only start dating me to get in my pants?”

    Heads had turned from the crowd, people poking other people in the sides to draw their attention over. Marcus had turned a light red, glaring down at you for calling him out in front of everyone.

    “Like you didn’t start dating me just to get brownie points towards your school record,” he snapped.

    “I started dating you because I thought you were the one person who would understand that there are more important things than sex!” you cried.

    “You’re just a prude freak,” he replied, his voice breaking with anger.

    A few of his friends, who had grouped together near the front of the crowd, snickered quietly. One punched Marcus on the shoulder, telling him to let it go. Another claiming that he had something that could open up those legs.

    You felt tears stinging at the corners of your eyes, their words squeezing around your neck like a tightly knotted rope. You tore through them, racing out of the gym and down the hall. You didn’t stop until you had pushed open the door to the girls’ bathroom and collapsed against the wall, knees drawn to your chest and wetness streaming down your cheeks.

    To think you had once told yourself you loved him.

    Barely a few minutes had dragged by when you heard the door creak open. You looked up, surprised to see the tall, broad figure of Jeff Atkins slipping inside. His hair was moused into a swoopy, black wave, white tuxedo crisp and perfectly tailored.

    “Can I come in?” he asked.

    You shrugged. “I guess. If you want to hang out with a prude freak.”

    “Fuck Marcus,” he said. “You’re not prude, and you’re definitely not a freak. Last time I checked, you were just Y/N, and that’s fine with me.”

    He moved to sit down next to you. At closer glance, you could see he had replaced his normal white studs with a pair of snowflakes. You laughed, making him turn his head to smile at you.

    “What’s up with the earrings?” you asked.

    “I’m being festive,” he replied, motioning at the matching pattern on the hem of your dress. “And twinning with you, apparently.”

    “Looks like fate wanted us to meet each other in this bathroom,” you said with a soft sigh. “You don’t have to waste your night with me, you know.”

    “Assuming that any of my time spent with you is wasted.” He placed his hand over yours, bringing it into his lap. “My night is already ten times better.”

    You brushed away a stray tear, trying to pull away. “We won’t work out. It never does.”

    “Why?” he asked, tightening his grip. “You’re an asexual. So what? That’s not something that matters to me.”

    “You say that now, but imagine if we somehow managed to make it out of high school. Years from now. I’m not opposed to the idea of sex some time in a long term relationship, but I’m not going to be able to be sexually attracted to you. Are you willing to live your life like that?” you responded.

    You could tell by the expression on his face that he was seriously considering this. You were just bracing yourself for him to stand up and walk out when he gave a nod.

    “Yes.”

    “Jeff, are you sure?” You turned to face him, sitting back on your heels. “This isn’t a joke.”

    He nodded again. “Yes. I am one hundred percent positive. I’m not sure if this is a little too early or not, but I think I’m in love with you.”

    You laughed. “What?”

    “No, I’m serious,” he replied, lunging forwards to scoop you into his arms. He pulled you in for a hug, resting his head on your shoulder in a maternal kind of way. “I was pissed when you started dating Marcus. Ask Clay. He’s the one who watched me purposely tear book pages every time I had to turn them.”

    You felt yourself relaxing against him. “Wow, okay.  That’s certainly something.”

    He gave a low chuckle. “Do you want to go back to the dance?”

    “Yeah,” you whispered.

    For once, you had a feeling your relationship actually was going to work out.

Winter Formal

Pairing: Stiles Stilinski x Reader

Author: @ninja-stiles

Words: 2009

Request:  Can I write an imagine we’re you are best friends with stiles. And the night of the dance your date runs off with some of his friends completely ignoring you. So when the slow song comes on stiles comes up to you and asks you to dance. And you hold on to him kind of how Lydia did at this scene. And you shed a tear because you secretly like stiles. But don’t know whether or not he feels the same by anonomoose.

Author’s Note: Again, I’m so so sorry it’s taking me so long to spit out requests! They are coming though, don’t you worry! Thank you to the amazing @rememberstilinski for proofreading this for me. I hope you guys enjoy this, it’s pretty cute!


Originally posted by mightbeaperfectcombination


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10

Make Me Choose

tidus or zack [requested by summ0ner-yuna​]

“would you say I became a hero?”

Little Love:

Words 1.6k - First Person

Those days were the easy days. Now my biggest problem is figuring out whether my ex who was sleeping with and got another girl pregnant was the father of my baby or if it was my best friend of years that I had drunken rebound sex with.

.-.-.-.

My hand shook and so did my chest as I tried to take a breath in. My eyes zoned in on the stupid little plus sign on the stupid little stick that I had to pee on and wait for what felt like forever to get a result from.

“Shit,” I whispered to myself. “Shit, shit, shit.”

My teeth sunk into my bottom lip to fight the sting of tears that wanted to slip from my eyes. It almost seemed that the weather outside was in tune with how I felt as the sound of the heavy rain beating against the window rang through my ears and echoed against the tiles of the bathroom.

Throwing the positive pregnancy test in to the bin beside the counter I take a deep breath and lean against the counter looking at my reflection in the mirror. I looked like shit, as if I hadn’t slept in a week and in truth I really hadn’t but I suspected that my pale, washed out face was more from the vomiting every time I got a whiff of a flower or anything else that carried a strong scent.

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coreviolet  asked:

Karaoke night post-squip - feat. Boyf riends

It was a Sunday night, and Michael and Jeremy were at yet another party.

Jeremy said ‘another’ because it was a week until school was out, and their new friends really liked throwing parties. He hadn’t really minded at first – parties were fun! But it was starting to wear on him. You could only puke your guts out under an alcohol-induced haze so many times, he guessed. 

As soon as the door shut behind them, Jeremy and Michael were ambushed by Chloe, already drunk off her ass, and Brooke, hanging off her arm.

“You’re here!” Chloe squealed, giggling drunkenly. Then, she nudged Brooke. “Here, Heere. Get it?” 

Brooke smiled lazily and patted Chloe’s bicep. “Yeah. Nice.”

“We’re doing charaoke,” Chloe slurred. “Jeremy, your voice is decent. Come on.” She grabbed his arm and dragged him into the house, Brooke and Michael following close behind. Soon enough, they were swallowed by flashing lights and the bass line of an old nineties love song, and Jeremy tried not to breathe in the stench of teen body odor and alcohol. 

As they neared the end of the den, Chloe muttered something unintelligible and climbed up onto the miniature stage. To Jeremy’s mortification, she grabbed a microphone and said, “My boy Jeremy could be on fucking broadway and we’re gonna give him a shot tonight!” Only her speech was slurred and she drew out her vowels, so it sounded more like “weeeeee’re gonna give him a shoooot toniiiiiight!”

Behind him, Michael whispered, “Good luck!” and shoved him forwards. Jeremy stumbled up onto the stage next to Chloe.

Chloe grabbed his arm again and said, “I’m picking.” 

Jeremy groaned as her song selection popped up on the computer screen in front of him. “When I Was Your Man? Bruno Mars? Really, Chloe?” 

Chloe leaned towards him, swaying on her feet. “Just fucking sing, Jerry,” she said, and then Jeremy was alone on the stage. 

Jeremy glanced over the crowd, spreading his arms helplessly. “I am so, so sorry for what you’re about to experience,” he said. He prayed that nobody could hear the tremor in his voice. “But since I value my life, well…” He breathed a sigh of relief as chuckles spread through the gathering crowd before him. The first notes of the song spilled from Jake’s expensive-looking speakers, and Jeremy began to sway to the gentle piano against his will. The first line of the song appeared on the screen, and Jeremy inhaled. He shut his eyes against the strobe lights and faces below and started to sing. “Same bed, but it feels just a little bit bigger now.”

Somebody in the crowd whooped. He heard Michael mutter, “Holy shit.”

Our song on the radio, but it don’t sound the same,” he continued, pulling sound from deep in his chest.  “When all my friends talk about you, all it does is just tear me down.” Jeremy opened his eyes and looked out over the crowd. “And my heart breaks a little when I hear your name. It all just sounds like –” His gaze fell on Michael, whose mouth was hanging open. “Oooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.” He sailed through the rest of the song, singing louder and louder, keeping his eyes on Michael. As the music faded out, Jeremy felt better and more alive than he had in ages. He couldn’t keep the dorky grin from spreading over his face.

Suddenly, all that as left was silence. Jeremy let out the rest of his breath. Everything was still for a moment. And then the crowd erupted, and Jeremy was bowing, and Michael was up on stage, hugging him and talking faster than Jeremy had ever heard him.

“Jeremy, Jeremy, Jesus Christ, that was amazing, why don’t you sing more often? Dude, you have to do that more, you could be a professional, wow–” 

Jeremy felt himself redden. Then, he had an idea. Maybe it was the natural high, or maybe it was something in the air, but he opened his mouth and said, “We’re going to do the next one together.”

Michael never really enjoyed parties, but he usually tagged along anyways. There needed to be at least one person with a car who wasn’t as high as a kite or drunker than his grandmother on New Year’s Eve. And maybe he had jumped around a little, shouting lyrics to the songs he liked, but he didn’t – couldn’t sing. 

He stepped back. “Oh, no. No, no, no, no.”

“I’ve heard you sing before. You’re good,” Jeremy said.

“Have you heard me sing?” 

Jeremy cleared his throat. “When you’re high –”

“Okay, okay, point proven,” Michael cut in. “But still, no.”

“Come onnn, Michael.” Jeremy poked him. “I’ll go with you!”

And then the song was starting and it was too late to save himself. Michael read the title on screen. Carry On, by fun.. He kind of knew that one. 

Deep breaths, he told himself.

Jeremy started. “Well, I woke to the sound of silence the cars, cutting like knives in fistfights.”

Michael glanced at the crowd and felt his legs tremble. 

Jeremy continued. “And I found you with a bottle of wineyour head in the curtains and heart –

Like the Fourth of July,” Michael sang. He was sure he was by now visibly shaking, but he told himself to keep going. He adjusted his voice to match Jeremy’s, and kept going, growing more and more confident with every line. 

When they reached the first “carry on”, Jeremy grabbed Michael’s hand and held it above his head. Michael felt his face flush, and hoped that everybody still watching would attribute it to his nerves, or maybe alcohol he hadn’t drunk. As the verse ended, Jeremy brought Michael’s hand down, but didn’t let go. Jeremy started swaying to the music, and Michael felt himself follow suit. He kept his fingers wound through Jeremy’s. 

The second time they came around to “carry on”, some of the crowd joined in. Michael started to understand people who performed for a living. Part of him felt like he could fly. On a whim, he grabbed one of the microphones from its stand and held it in front of his mouth, bending his knees as he started the “Whoa!”.  Michael was singing like he hadn’t known he could sing. He shut his eyes and let his voice go.

The song ended. The crowd turned away, and slowly, the low buzz of mindless conversation returned. Jeremy’s eyes were bright, and Michael couldn’t help but admire how beautiful his eyes were. Jeremy hugged Michael, and pulled back, beaming. He looked Michael directly in the eyes, and Michael couldn’t bring himself to tear his gaze away.  They were breathing hard, and their faces were flushed, and Jeremy’s hair was adorably rumpled, and Michael felt his face redden again –

And then he was kissing Jeremy. No – Jeremy was kissing him. Michael stiffened, wondering for a split second if this was some kind of elaborate joke, before melting into the kiss. 

It was far from perfect. Michael’s glasses got in the way, and it wasn’t like either of them were experienced, but when they pulled back, Jeremy’s eyes were shining and Michael was the one beaming. 

“I love you so much right now,” Jeremy whispered, and Michael squeezed his hand.

“I love you too, Jer-bear.” he leaned his head against Jeremy’s shoulder. “I love you.”

anonymous asked:

Man I would fucking LOVE to get a scene where Kara finds out why exactly Maggie doesn't like V-Day. Because I know for a fact that if Kara knew, she would have been so supportive and so comforting and would have /helped/ Maggie deal with her trauma and would not have said what she said. (Also I feel like the writers just started a whole new show with different characters but the same names and faces after 2x09.)

She tells her that she should think about Alex.

She tells her that she needs to remember how much Alex cares for her, how much Alex deserves what she never had.

And she’s not wrong: Alex does deserve beautiful things.

But so does Maggie: so does Maggie, and Kara doesn’t understand – not at first – because Kara is projecting, and Kara is pained.

But she is also, still, Kara.

So she sees the pain flashing behind Maggie’s eyes, and she sees the fear laying in wait there.

She knows that kind of pain, that kind of fear.

Well, not exactly.

But it looks awfully similar to the ghosts in her eyes that stared back at her in the mirror when she first got to earth – when she’d lost everything – and after the Black Mercy, when she’d been forced to lose everything again; and after Astra; and after, just, god, everything.

Kara knows ghosts, and Kara squints at Maggie, because there’s something more than irritation at corporate holidays haunting her eyes.

“Maggie, what is it?” she asks, when she’s about to leave, when she’s about to fly away on her own to deal with the crisis she’s not ready to let anyone help her with yet. She asks, because it looks an awful lot like Maggie is having a crisis she doesn’t want anyone to help her with, too. And she looks like she probably does it a lot.

Something Kara is deeply familiar with.

Maggie doesn’t answer for a moment. She seems startled by the question, startled by the idea that someone would notice, that someone would care to ask.

“Nothing, Kara, it – like I said, I just wanted to apologize, that’s all.”

Kara squints at her and takes a long, deep breath. Maggie looks away first, and that’s how Kara knows for certain that she’s right; that something is very, very wrong.

“Maggie, Alex didn’t tell me what happened, but I… do you want to tell me what happened? Maybe I can help.”

Maggie stares for an incredulous moment, and she pffts – she must be getting it from Alex, Kara thinks vaguely – and she crosses her arms over her chest.

“It’s nothing, it’s whatever, Kara, just – just let Alex know I’m looking for her, will you please?”

She starts to walk away, and Kara stills her with a gentle but firm hand hovering just over her elbow, not quite touching her, because Maggie is tense and Maggie is scared and Maggie might not want unexpected touch right now.

“Maggie, my planet died. My people. I know something about that look on your face. That… losing everything face. What happened?”

Her voice is soft and her voice is low, and Maggie’s heart threatens to burst because she’s always wondered what it’s like to have a sister who loves her like this.

“I lied to your sister.”

Kara bristles and Maggie shakes her head and chuckles, just a bit.

“No need to break out the heat vision, Little Danvers, not like that. I… I told her my parents were cool about me coming out.”

She swallows and glances at Kara’s ocean eyes and forces herself to continue, forces herself to talk to Alex’s kid sister, because Alex’s kid sister isn’t exactly a kid, and she looks like she needs to focus on something other than her own worries right now, anyway.

“They weren’t. Okay with it. I was outed. I was fourteen. My dad kicked me out. My aunt took me in. It was… it was Valentine’s Day, when it happened. Why it happened.”

“Oh, Maggie,” Kara whispers, and her hands hover out to her sides, and Maggie nods almost imperceptibly, and Kara brings them gently to touch Maggie’s arms.

“And Alex didn’t know, and she tried to do a Valentine’s thing for you, and it sparked…”

“Memories, right.”

Kara’s eyes are swimming with tears now, but Maggie can’t see because Maggie is looking anywhere but at Kara.

“Maggie, it’s not Alex’s fault, I… I encouraged her, I asked her what you like, and I told her to make a custom-made Maggie Sawyer Valentine’s Day, so that maybe you could like it again, but Maggie, I didn’t know, I… I didn’t really hear you, Alex didn’t really hear you, and I… I am so sorry…”

It’s that acknowledgment, that insight, that makes Maggie force her eyes up to Kara’s again.

“I freaked out, Little Danvers. What if she’s angry, what if she doesn’t want me anymore, what if… what if I’m too… messed up for her?”

To Maggie surprise, Kara smiles softly, and she runs a gentle finger through Maggie’s long hair.

“Maggie, my sister… my sister is wild about you. My sister has never… I don’t think she’s ever really been in love, Maggie, but with you, I… Maggie, she doesn’t care so much about you because of who she thinks you are. She’s not dating only part of you. She’s dating all of you. She wants to be dating all of you, she wants to know all of you. I know we don’t know each other that well yet, but I know Alex, better than anyone, and Alex lo… Alex really cares about you, Maggie. Deeply. She’s not going to run because you have ghosts in your past. So does she. Maybe your ghosts can comfort each other, you know?”

Maggie is swallowing the painful lump in her throat and she’s forcing tears back into her eyes and she’s tilting her head and clenching her jaw and breathing slow, slow, slow.

“You’re amazing, Kara.”

“So are you, Maggie.”

“I… I want to do something for Alex. I… she deserves… hell, we both deserve… the things we never got. I… I have an idea, but… do you think you could get J’onn and James and Winn to help me?”

Kara’s all smiles, now, and Maggie can’t help but smile, too, because damn, the Danvers sisters have the most infectious joy.

“What do you need them to do?”

“Well, for starters, I’m gonna need Winn to whip up a dress…”

it’s not father’s day in my own country, but why should that stop me from indulging in some Good Dad Tony content

  • it doesn’t even cross tony’s mind that peter doesn’t really have an actual father figure in his life anymore
  • he keeps seeing all the ads of what to get dads for father’s day and he just ignores them like he has for the past 20 or so years
  • in fact, tony stopped trying to give howard gifts when he was 11 when he realized howard didn’t give a fuck, and after that it just hurt too much to even consider it
  • but then he sees a kid, just a couple of years younger than peter, rushing up to their two dads with a bag, and tony watches curiously as they pull out two badly wrapped presents that they give to each parent
  • and as tony examines how the dads pepper the kid with kisses on the crowded street while the kid protests in teenaged embarrassment it all clicks
  • peter won’t have anyone to do that with
  • he knows peter adores aunt may, but she isn’t peter’s father, and so tony’s day takes a complete turn and he goes out on a mission that’s very different from the ones he’s taken on in his iron suit
  • when he meets peter later in the day he seems just as cheerful as usual, and tony would never know something was wrong if he didn’t know exactly what restrained sadness looks like
  • he didn’t want to go too crazy and scare the kid off or something, so he only buys him dinner and dessert and asks him about his life, and peter seems confused and taken aback, but oh does he reach out as soon as tony offers a hand and a listening ear
  • it breaks tony’s heart a little bit at how eager peter seems
  • just before they part, when tony puts his hand on peter’s shoulder and watches him lean into the touch subconsciously, he knows this was probably just what peter needed
  • it doesn’t take him long to discover that this was exactly what he himself needed too