Bleach characters, Ichigo has a son! Your reactions?
As requested by anon. :)
How are people going to react in the post-ending canon Bleach world when they realize that Ichigo has a son?
Grimmjow: A tiny Kurosaki?
Grimmjow: Awesome! I have a backup! Now I can kill Kurosaki Ichigo for real!
Grimmjow: AND THEN I KILL HIS SON
Ichigo: On second thought, you’re not invited to the baby shower after all.
Grimmjow: Dude, why?
Renji: I’m super happy for Ichigo! Being a dad rocks!
Renji: But also -
Renji: I had a shikai. Ichigo got a shikai. I got bankai. Ichigo got bankai. I fought Captain Kuchiki. He fought Captain Kuchiki. I got sideburns. He got sideburns.
Renji: Then I had a kid and he had a kid.
Renji: I kinda think Ichigo keeps copying me?
Ichigo: THAT IS NOT WHY I HAD A SON
Yoruichi: Wow, a son!
Yoruichi: That means that Ichigo has probably seen a second pair of boobs finally!
Yoruichi: I give it 50-50 odds.
Ichigo: I HAVE A WIFE YOU KNOW
Kenpachi: So Kurosaki Ichigo has another power, huh?
Ichigo: A son. Not another power.
Kenpachi: Tch. Right.
Kenpachi: Like tiny children are ever anything in Bleach OTHER than secretly a weapon.
Ichigo: I mean, you have a point, but no.
Kenpachi: Yeah, we’ll see.
Kenpachi: We’ll see.
Ulquiorra: A child of the woman and Kurosaki Ichigo will be doubly loyal. Will doubly believe in friendship. Will possess double strength. Double kindness. Double love.
Ulquiorra: That child basically IS the heart.
Orihime: That’s so sweet!
Ulquiorra: I meant it as an insult.
Hiyori: WELL I’M NOT BABYSITTING
Hiyori: AND I’D LIKE SOMEONE TO PLEASE TELL THE KID THAT
Nel: Nel is very excited for Itsygo!
Nel: Itsygo was always so good with Nel!
Nel: Itsygo’s child will love being carried into battle with him like Nel was!
Ichigo: I probably won’t carry my kid into battle, Nel.
Nel: So Itsygo loves Nel more??
Nel: NEL IS SO HAPPY
Ichigo: …I might let this one go.
Aizen: Now the human-shinigami-Quincy-hollow has had a child with Inoue Orihime, whose powers are godlike and undefined.
Aizen: My plan proceeds.
Ichigo: Plan? I heard you were back in prison accepting your lot and making speeches.
Aizen: Yeah because that sounds like me.
Aizen: No way I’d care about a kid who can kill Yhwach with a touch.
Aizen: Nope I am so not interested in that.
Ichigo: I have concerns.
Isshin: Well I’m ecstatic of course!
Isshin: So ecstatic I turned the clinic over to Ichigo, and took off to travel the world with Ryuken and never return again!
Ryuken: Do not speak lies. The fans might believe you.
Isshin: Is that any way to talk to your travel and snuggle buddy?
Ryuken: I SAID STOP LYING
Byakuya: I would like to say congratulations on your child, Kurosaki Ichigo.
Ichigo: Finally! Someone who just says something nice and doesn’t -
Byakuya: He is nearly - but not quite - as adorable as my niece.
Byakuya: Nice try, though.