isn't that like one of the most useful chems in the game

the types as all the horrifying Honors Students  I’ve met

ENFP: always has a ‘’better idea’’

There’s always that one kid that entirely misunderstands the point of ‘’partner work’’ and abandons the entire team whenever their ideas get shut down, mistaking their own inability to compromise with ‘’constant criticism and exclusion from their peers’’ – inevitably getting the entire group of 5 in a ton of trouble and leaving Yours Truly (me) the task of writing 5 separate apology notes + somehow working their SHIT IDEA into the project guidelines.

ENTP: “I can wing anything’’

They’re lying through their teeth. 

ESFP: out for blood

looking @ you, kid that used to follow me back from my classes in elementary school to remind me i was in there by mistake. You were absolutely right

ESTP: ‘’A true visionary’’

‘’Ohhh yeah…the test was a piece of cake, I remember taking it seriously in 6th grade – I scored so high they made me take it twice to verify…Then I scored higher on the second go…but I’ve since realized i was a FOOL, I was setting the bar too high. So I stopped trying. Beat the system. I thought my dad was going to be pissed, but he just pat me on the shoulder and said ‘Son, you’re a true visionary’, and on my way out of the computer lab, God himself appeared to me in a vision and GAVE ME A HIGH FIVE’’

INFP: doesn’t understand how partner grades work–

‘’Why the hell did you turn in /your/ lab??”

“You weren’t here to turn in yours? We would’ve gotten a zero’’

“But you got me a fucking C-!!!! Now I have a B in the class! If I turned in /mine/ late I would’ve gotten an A on it…”

“/You/ would, but then I’d have to get a 0 instead of a C…?’’

‘’So? You’re failing the class anyway…’’

INTP: Most Valuable Slacker

You know, that one STAR STUDENT who’s name looks great on the top of every group project but in reality they only work when they’re getting a borderline grade so it’s like???

ISFP: The Martyr For Human Kind

“Hey….do you need help with the writing portion–I feel bad…’’

‘’No…it’s okay, I’d rather you just…present the project….’’

*swats my hand away from their perfect grades*

ISTP: ‘’Studying Is For Losers’’

probably took the ACT while high and did better than a majority of their grade

These guys start out pretty admirable until they start pushing their life motto on you, and next thing u know you’re flying down a hill in a shopping cart at 3 am straight into the semester final. You’re looking at a solid 23% and they’ve got a high B without the fucking curve.

ESFJ:‘’I DID THIS ENTIRE PROJECT BY MYSELF’’

in every group project full of strong personalities, there tends to be a very loud dispute over who was the ‘’most valuable team player’’ and the thing is…the louder they insist that they were, in fact, the heart and soul of the team…the less true it probably is

ENFJ: has yet master the art of subtle bragging, like:

‘’Gosh…I had so much extra credit in Accelerated Molecular Bio that when I got a 103% on the chapter test it brought my grade DOWN :’(’’ 

oh no….?

ISFJ: the considerate one

‘’Don’t say EASY! You’ll hurt normal people’s feelings. Here in the accelerated program, we say SIMPLE. That way we can make people feel like absolute failures BUT WITH S U B T L E T Y’’

thanks for that btw, it really makes me feel alive

INFJ: ‘’C’mon man, you’re 16, you need to start pulling your weight’’

they (also 16) tell me, as they perform an elaborate display of how better prepared they are for the task, which ends up wasting 15 minutes and inevitably confusing everyone because to them, ‘’pulling your own weight’’ also means making it a hell of a lot more difficult for everyone else (i’m not bitter)

ESTJ: gets into fights over test grades

“how did //you// get X if I only scored 12 points higher than you???′’

F E A R  THAT’S WHAT

ENTJ: has 0 remorse, can probably watch Marley & Me without crying 

So like, last year I had to get tested for some brain condition that was potentially life threatening…and like, I had kinda gotten into the mindset the week before that was like a combination of ‘’heyyy wassup ur talkin to the member of the living dead rn ;)’’ and just /constant internal screaming/. So I had turned to my lab partner during a partner chem lab i was royally screwing up and was like:

 “hey, this is what’s going on, I’m sorry I’m not at the top of my game cuz I’m kind of nervous about it…could you please clue me in on what we’re doing?”

and like, I get the whole ‘life doesn’t give u special treatment’ thing…but like, what he said was: ‘’You should’ve been paying attention’’ which is 5 words, and all he needed to say was ‘’Acid/Base Titration’’ which is 3…?

ISTJ: everything’s a competition, even group work

I’m referring to the ass who, when asked (quite politely i might add) to complete the writing portion of our research presentation, turned in a bulleted list of ‘’what his partners did wrong’’, thinking that it would somehow make the teacher like him? Lol that backfired….

INTJ: brutally honest

“Hey! wanna be my partner?’’

“Depends…what are u getting in this class?’’