For two years I worked as an island clearer. You know those small, fancy, artificial islands off the coast of the Dubai? Well, every once in a while someone rich would order a customized island in the shape of their choosing. Maybe it’s a rose for their wife or a face or a turtle. So the other guys go in with their sand, make the island to the shape required, and then the client is called and told that their custom island is completed. But sometimes the client says they don’t want the island any more. That’s where I came in. Our company was never mad - I mean, in this high-profile island generating industry, you have to be customer-centric. Just because someone doesn’t want a custom island now doesn’t mean they don’t want one later.
Anyway, my job was to go in with this ship that basically looked like it was half-bulldozer half-barge and clear all the sand off the top until it sunk back beneath the waves and disappeared forever. I was the only person in the company who knew how to do this job correctly, and I presume the only person in the world as well. Sure, the island builders could make the island, but they were absolutely pathetic at clearing them. So I guess you could say I had job security. Anyway, that wasn’t important. What was important was that I had fun doing it and helped improve the world. Follow your passions! You never know what great treasures life has in store for you.
Palmistry 101: #2 Configuration and Meanings (Very Long Post!)
Okay, so in ‘Palmistry 101: #1′ we covered the basic stuff on lines and mounts, right? Well, now we’re going to cover what a mount or line means if it appears a certain way; basically, we’re going to talk about how to read a palm.
You should sit your cute butt down and grab some snacks because this is going to be one heck of a long post!
Where Do I Start? You start, by asking whomever you are reading, to turn their hands so that their palms are skyward, naturally. “But, Roe, which hand do I read!?” I hear you cry, and I say in reply: ideally, both. It is said that the left hand displays the potential of the person and the right displays what that person has done with this potential in this life.
You may hear some say that left-handed people should have their right palm read, and vice versa. This is, as a chiromancer, your choice of course, though I tend to stick to both hands.
Now, this may sound a little ridiculous but trust me, all things factor into it when you’re palm reading. Even the shape of the hand that you’re working on. You heard me correctly: the shape of the hand.
In short, there are four main types of hands. I will say that not everyone fits perfectly into one category, but most do. The types of hands are based on the elements and, don’t be surprised or upset if your hand type does not align with your sun zodiac (your main astrological sign).
Earth Hands: typically, earthen hands have wide and square-ish palms and fingers to match, and the length of their palm is equal to that of their fingers (my hands fit into this part. The skin may be thick or rough and overall, earthen hands have quite a… flushed or ruddy appearance to them. My hands are earthen hands, for example (minus the rough skin… I have ridiculously soft skin).
People with Earth hands tend to be of a practical and level-headed nature; they are grounded but don’t mistake that for dullness. As a general rule, they like to experience things and prefer being able to get out into the world and learn by doing. Often, they come across as conservative/adverse to change or quiet and have an intense preference for the outdoors and nature (kind of comes with being connected to the element earth, really).
Air Hands: firstly, this sounds like a very strange super-power. Cool.. Air hands usually have a square or rectangular shaped palm and long, slim fingers. They often have projected knuckles, dry skin or low-set thumbs (low-set thumbs means that the thumb is positioned lower and nearer the wrist). Normally, the length of the palm and hands is equal.
Those with air hands are highly intellectual or academic, are curious and constantly full of and developing new ideas. They carry a restless energy about them and are prone to worry and/or stress. Generally, they are superb at communicating with others, but they are also known to withhold emotions and feelings, meaning that forming and maintaining meaningful and intimate relationships is often difficult.
Water Hands: (Hi my name is Rowan, and like every responsible almost-20-year old, every time I read this I think of Avatar!) It is said that those with water hands have long, flexible fingers and small oval or circular palms. The palm is usually quite stout; the width is greater than the height.
People with this type of hand(s) are usually hyper-emotional. They are motivated by feelings, more often than not and are constantly looking for peace or a peaceful life; they do not handle stress or worry well. They are typically creative and artistic.
Fire Hands: those with fire hands (now this one sounds like a painful skin condition) typically have smaller hands overall: a square or rectangular palm, shorter fingers and their skin may have a pinkish complexion.
Like fire itself, those with fire hands are absolutely bursting with energy and are always ready to go. They get bored easily without variety and can, unfortunately, be a little impatient and/or dogmatic and intolerant. Typically, they make fantastic leaders in almost all situations and are vehement in their individuality.
So! Hand shapes covered, let’s quickly cover the possible meanings of your hand’s temperature. Yes, even that may mean something!
Cold hands: you may be kind and generous, but you’re reserved and may come off as what some would describe as a hermit. Clammy/sweaty hands: you may be lazy and unstable, but in all you do you have good intentions. Warm/hot hands: you may be considered as wild or fierce and successful, but you may come off as insincere to others.
Alrighty, so we covered which lines were which and what they signify in this post’s predecessor (the link to it is at the top, but if you don’t feel like scrolling back up clickhere) but now it’s time to go into a lot more detail, whoopie!
Quirks to Look Out For: Branches: (lines that branch out from the main line) emphasizes strengths. Breaks: (a break in the line; if the line is segmented) emphasizes weakness(es). Chains: (lots of small circles that run along a line) obscurity in goals or deviations from them. Crosses: (one of these ‘x’ on a line) upheaval, violence and struggles. Islands: (islands are small circular shapes that are within the line, not running through or over it) delays and issues, injuries or hereditary problems. Stars:(one of these ‘*’ on a line) emphasizes luck.
The Heart Line, concerns everything that ties in with love. May it be romantic, platonic or any other kind. If this line begins under your index finger, it means that you have a love life that you are happy with; a satisfying one, if you will. If it begins beneath your middle finger, it suggests that you are selfish in love. It’s all about you, you, you. If it begins between these two fingers, like mine, it means you are quick to fall in love, and it happens easily.
If the line is short, it means that you have little interest in romantic love or romance in general, - you would rather be focusing on other things! If your heart line touches your life line, you suffer heartbreak very easily and the smallest betrayal hits you hard. A long and curving heart line suggests that you are practiced at expressing your feelings and emotions, and you do it well whereas a straight line means that you are practical in love. This is reinforced if your heart line runs parallel to your life line. It is said that if you have a wavy heart line, you have or will have a string of temporary lovers in place of a serious relationship.
Small lines or breaks in this line may indicate that you have suffered or may suffer some form of emotional trauma, whilst a small circle on the line may signify sadness or depression.
The Head Line, is indicative of your wisdom and your intellectual power. Generally, a curved line tells us that you are a person of creativity and spontaneity, whereas a straight line says you are a fan of structure and things being done in a practical manner.
A short head line means that you have a preference for physical achievements opposed to intellectual or academic accomplishments. In short, you’d rather finish a race than a book. A curvy or wavy line that is not deep-set in your palm indicates that your attention span is short, a deep, long line means that you are a focused and profound thinker. If you have a straight head line, it means you are someone who thinks realistically; that does not mean you’re a pessimist, but you tend not to fantasize or day dream about things that are not realistically relevant to you.
If your head and life lines are separate it means that you are adventurous and have an insatiable appetite for adventure and a never ending lust for life.
If there is a circle or a cross in your head line, it means that there is some kind of emotional crisis in your life. If there are multiple crosses or a chain present, it means that in your lifetime you will have to make many decisions and a lot of them will be difficult.
The Life Line, also known as the line of destiny, is indicative of your character and of any important or big events that will take place during your life. Contrary to popular (and scary) belief, your life line does not denote how long you will live!
The closer your life line is to your thumb, the less energy you are bound to have and you may be a person who is chronically tired or exhausted. If your life line is the opposite of this, (wide and curvaceous) you are the opposite of this. You will have a plethora of energy! If it is a large, swooping semi-circle, you are a strong person who is bubbling with enthusiasm, but a straight line that does not stray far from the edge of your palm says that you are someone who is very cautious in all relationships.
A deep and long life line denotes an inner strength and vitality to be proud of, but a short and shallow line means that you are someone who may find themselves easily manipulated by others.
A circle on/in your life line means injury or hospitalization, and a break in the line signifies drastic changes in lifestyle.
The Fate/Fortune Line, may be read in tandem with the life line when looking at the future (this is one of those lines that not everyone has, so don’t worry if you can’t find yours).
If you happen to have a deep-set fate/fortune line, it means that destiny has a pretty strong hand in what happens during your lifetime (if you subscribe to the idea that fate is a thing, of course). Numerous breaks in this line mean that outside forces will influence and cause changes in your life many, many times.
A fate/fortune line that is joined to the life line means that you are self-made; you have aspirations and goals and you do all you can to achieve them. You make your own fate. A line that starts at the bottom of your palm indicates that you will be in the public eye quite often, though this doesn’t always mean on a large scale.
Okay! This is the last part I promise! You’ve been so good, reading this whole she-bang, and I’m so proud of you (and also so grateful because let me tell you, this has taken way longer than I planned it to).
Again, these were covered in the previous post so you can defer back to that if you need to because it’s here,…again!
The little flesh mountains we all have on our hands, these are the mounts. To ‘read’ them, cup your hand ever so slightly and look at it side-on. You should be able to see which mounts are high, low or flat.
The Venus Mount, (the one under your thumb) when high can signify that the person is over indulgent in their love life and is promiscuous as a result; they may be someone who demands instant appeasement and satisfaction in such matters. A normal mount suggests a passionate person who holds influence over those around them, and has a love for the finer things and the arts. A flat Venus mount is indicative of someone who is quick to criticise and has little to no interest in family or family life.
The Jupiter Mount, (under your index finger) when high means that you are self-concerned/centred and can often be aggressive and dominating. A mount of normal elevation suggests a natural leader; someone intelligent and with ambition whereas a flat mount is suggestive of low confidence and self-belief/esteem.
The Saturn Mount, (under your middle finger) when high means that you are obstinate and prefer to be alone/your own company. It means you are shy, withdrawn, a cynic and can signify depression. A normal sized mount says that you are responsible and you work hard. You are trusting and friendly. A flat or low mount means that you are incredibly disorganised and concerned only with the superficial aspect of things.
The Apollo/Sun Mount, (beneath your ring finger) when high suggests that you have an elevated sense of pride; you are extravagant and like to praise and compliment/flatter those around you, but you are also quick to anger and have a temper. A normal Apollo/Sun mount means that you are an outgoing and confident individual who is well suited to adapt to changing situations and circumstances. A low or flat mount indicates that you have little imaginative capability and making decisions is often a difficult task.
The Mercury Mount, (beneath your little finger) when high, may mean that you speak too much too often and often speak lies/have a tendency to be untruthful and greedy. A mount of normal elevation means that you are a thoughtful and versatile individual with a wide variety of interests and/or hobbies. Those with this sort of mount flourish in a business environment and are able to read others deftly. A low or flat Mercury mount signifies shyness and the inability to communicate well; it also signifies a lack of money or the lacking ability to make money.
The Luna/Moon Mount, (along the outside of your palm - starts beneath the little finger) when high, indicates that the person lives so much within the realm of their imagination, that it clouds their sense of reality. It suggests a very, very high level of creativity and someone who has a deep-seated love and passion for the arts. A low or flat mount suggests that the person lives very much inside their own imagination and mind, but does not share it with those around them. They may be shy and suffer from depression. They will likely be a pessimist.
Inception-inspired AU. Louis Tomlinson is the most respected and skilled extractor in the dream-sharing business; together he and his point man Zayn have been hired countless times to steal hundreds of valuable secrets straight from the minds of CEOs and politicians. One day, a mysterious and wealthy client contacts Louis and Zayn, offering them triple their normal rate in exchange for successfully completing a job that other extracting teams have deemed “impossible.” The one catch is that this client wants the very best - so he’s decided to team Louis’ skills up with those of Louis’ most hated rival, another highly-respected extractor named Harry Styles. Can Louis and Harry work together to complete the job and get the payout, or will they lose their minds along the way?
Bridget Jones’ Diary AU. “Harry is not short for Harold,” he corrects, his voice as thick as molasses. He lowers his eyes to Louis’ sequined lapels, rubbing one between two fingers. “Is this small or extra small? It looks lovely.” Louis breaks away from his grip with a petulant huff and pushes him back with two fingers. “You’re mocking me. Again.” Harry smiles and it’s a real honest swoop of his lips this time. Louis’ stomach swoops with them.
First Dates AU. Louis Tomlinson is a thirty-year-old divorcee whose friends have signed him up for the Channel 4 show First Dates. Harry Styles is a twenty-eight-year-old lawyer who has never been in a long-term relationship. They are filmed going on their first date.
a southern us au “Mmm,” Louis hums, tipping his head slightly in acknowledgement. “You know what I reckon all the baseball games you’ve seen have in common?” Harry rocks on his heels, uncertain, drifting. If it were daylight, if he could see Louis’ face, maybe he’d see where this was going. As it is, he hazards a guess, smiling beseechingly even though Louis probably can’t see him very well. “That I didn’t know what was going on?” “I reckon,” Louis says, taking the cigarette from his mouth and flicking the ashes to the ground, “you only ever paid attention to baseball when it involved paying attention to me.”
A Shameless AU starring Louis as Fiona and Harry as Jimmy/Steve. (or, Louis is raising his seven siblings by himself, and Harry steals cars and crash lands into Louis’ life. Together, they navigate south side Chicago and love.)
The Nanny AU in which Louis is the sassy gay Nanny-by-accident taking care of the kids of movie director Harry Styles. Also there’s Liam as the butler, Niall as Louis’ best friend, Zayn as the model/actor and Nick as Harry’s partner from work that maybe wants a bit more from Harry than cooperation.
a great british bake off au in which louis cares about winning and winning only, harry is made of sunshine and rainbow sprinkles, and niall sticks his nose into other people’s business. also featuring liam as louis’s best friend-slash-concerned mother, and zayn as a macaron connoisseur.
a vaguely Notting Hill-like AU (or that made for TV Disney movie Starstruck if you’ve seen it… no? Just me?) starring popstar!Harry and bookkeeper/soulful poet!Louis; and including guest appearances by Fate, a wise elderly aristocrat, and lots and lots of pining.
Harry had tried to get used to the attention fame had brought him - had learned to at least pretend to deal with the rumours and speculation about every aspect of his life, had learned to pretend to be all right with the paparazzi shadowing his every move, had learned to pretend to cope with too-many-fans mobbing him whenever he went anywhere - but after being outed all too publicly, it all became too much. A break from it all on island in the middle of the Pacific, far away from everything and anything seemed to be just the sort of thing Harry needed. A distraction was even better, especially when it came in the form of a gorgeous surfing instructor with a smile that could outshine the sun - even if a summer romance hadn’t been on the original agenda. A heart-shaped island in the middle of the ocean was probably sort of place to fall in love. But Louis had his own reasons for being in Tavarua, and those might just mean that neither of them get the happy ending they’re looking for.
Elysian (81k, chaptered) - beauty and the beast au
Harry is running out of time to fall in love, but with Louis, it seems as if there’s all the time in the world.
It’s finally done! What do you mean it’s been six months?
So, I guess we get a lot of novel exclusive content this time… *shrugs* The next few sections will have more NaruHina. Also, this is the final chapter with eight parts, and after that is the epilogue, so we’re almost at the end.
*takes deep breath*
I don’t know when I will have the next part done, so do NOT ask!
If this isn’t obvious by this point, I don’t even know what to tell you. Also, I’ve added a frequently asked questions page to my blog. I don’t mean to deter anyone from sending asks, but please refer to that first.
at what point does reading stop being useful and start being insight porn?
I’ll tell you a story:
Johannes Gutenberg was a very strange and secretive man. Before he developed Europe’s first printing press he had been involved in a scheme to mass produce concave mirrors. These mirrors would be set on a rack and arrayed such that their faces were turned towards holy relics. The power of the relics, it was thought, would shine on the mirrors which ever after would rebroadcast this healing radiation.
After the mirror scheme went belly up Gutenberg turned to printing. He did much of his work on an almond-shaped island in the middle of a river. When he unveiled his invention many people speculated as to the source of his inspiration. Some said it had been flatly demonic. Others said he was a Jew. The most interesting rumor involved a method of state torture and execution.
Pressing was a kind of judicial torture used to force a plea or a confession from a suspect who refused to speak. To contemporary legal minds a person was justly punished if and only if they had been convicted or if they had confessed. Because conviction must start with a plea and confession requires speech, a criminal could theoretically hamstring a court simply by remaining silent. To guard against this loophole, pressing was instituted.
The suspect was made to lie down on a wooden board and another was placed on top of their chest. Stones or metal weights were then arranged on the top board. Their number was increased day by day until the suspect pled, confessed or died.
In Strasbourg, where Gutenberg perfected his own press, this form of judicial torture had a local addition. A thick block of wood was placed between the top board and the naked belly of the condemned. The block was flat on one side and carved to high relief on the other with the seal of the city of Strasbourg. In this way, as the weights were added, an impression of the seal was made in the flesh of the person beneath it. This was to show, after the person had been killed and their corpse publically displayed, that the torture had been undertaken by powers legally entitled to command it.
It was said that this was the source of Gutenberg’s idea.
I think that reading is like this. It takes an exceptionally strong person to be exposed to the weight of truth that books can relate and for that person’s mind to remain unchanged. There is a crucial moment for us as readers which takes place just past the weight of truth that we can no longer bear. We die.
If we are lucky, and continue to read past the point at which our former self is crushed out of us, this will not be our last death. In this way, we will always be able to cry out for more weight.
• Durmstrang : Scandinavia - close to a lake. - Northern Europe (Norway, Denmark, Sweden, Iceland, Finland, Estonia) and the East (Bosnia, Bulgaria, Croatia, Macedonia, Serbia, Slovenia, Albania, Hungary, Poland, Slovakia, Romania). - Kalina MASARYK.
• Beauxbâtons : France - in the Pyrenees. - Southern Europe (Spain, Portugal, Italy, Greece) and West (Austria, Belgium, France, Luxembourg, Netherlands, Switzerland). - Olympe MAXIME.
• Kings Academy of Sorcery. Ilvermorny. United States - Louisiana. - North America (USA, Canada, Greenland, Mexico, Caribbean). - Zachary LEWIS : youngest director of the Kings Academy, Zachary Lewis encourages freewill and autonomy. Kings students have considerable freedom of action with few restrictions. Lack of headmaster’s severity is sometimes criticized by his peers. But Zachary Lewis puts a point of honor that its students learn for themselves the concept of respect and authority. Trivia : - the emblem of the academy is a “K” crown. - the motto is « Terra non caelum mutant qui trans mare currunt » (“ crossing the sea, you change the earth, not sky”). - the academy is surrounded by a marsh that protects against intrusions. A huge crocodile enchanted lives inside and became the school mascot. - the Academy is based on the university model of “Greek community”. - each community has her own residence. - students choose themselves their community. - each community has her motto, her principles, her codes and her representatives. Representatives manage the functioning (and harmony) within and between communities. - there are three fraternities : > Alpha-Rhô “excel for good” (For :ambition, excellence, merit. Against : fraud, dishonor, failure) > Khi-Thêta “do not waste your time (,use it rightfully)” (For : solidarity, collective, loyalty, selflessness. Against : conflict, betrayal, careerism) > Nu-Kappa-Pi “it is a cloud, that will pass” (For : talent, ease, fun, diversity. Against : killjoy, spoilsport, wet blanket, party pooper…) - three sororities : > Omicron-Epsilon-Delta “which had to be proven“ (For : hard work, learning, rightness, mutual aid. Against : deception, violence) > Lambda- Sigma “speech is the shadow of the act” (For : discovery, franchise, action, the will and courage. Against : cowardice, lying, imposture) > Kappa-Delta “new ideas” (For : justice, duty, equality, determination. Against : inequity, abuse, bias) - and three mixed : >Sigma-Mu “with the mind” (For : knowledge by theory, discernment, raw intelligence, firmness. Against : ignorance, narrow minds) >Iota-Khi “with the hand” (For : knowledge through practice, cooperation, perseverance, creativity. Against : resignation) > Gamma-Lambda “know thyself” (For those who do not want or were not able to choose membership). - each community has a representative and all representatives form the Committee. - all the events are organized by the Committee (apportionment of new students, club management, sports events and festivities). They also deal with the application of sanctions. They are responsible for relationship between students, teachers and the headmaster. - the committee also organizes events to maintain the rivalry between communities. - at the end of each year, teachers vote for the community that has been most effective and the elected community becomes the “primary community” (inter alia, the community has authority over all decisions).
• Enganolho Brazilian School of Magic, Castelobruxo. Brazil - Bahia. - South America (Brazil, Venezuela, Colombia, Guyana, Ecuador, Peru, Bolivia, Paraguay, Chile, Uruguay USA, Argentina). - Hélio FORTES : Man of spirit and Sorcerer recognized for having studied temporal paradoxes.It’s the Minister of the Brazilian magic who asked him in person to take the place of headmaster of Enganolho. The School is in decline since its last director ; everyone think that Helio Fortes is the only one able to restore it to its former glory. Defy that he’s ready to take up. Trivia : - schools promote school exchanges. - School is perched in trees.
• School of Onopwulopwul. Pacific Ocean - somewhere in Micronesia. - Australasia, Melanesia, Micronesia and Polynesia. - Koa
NAOI : descendant of a famous clan of sorcerers and concerned about the magical heritage,Koa Naoi makes every effort to make the magical diversity being well represented in his school. Thus, in addition to Western standards,
Onopwulopwul teaches the magical practices of each of Oceania Culture. Trivia : - motto’s school is :
“Ehu Mohngiong Mehlel, Ehu Poliwar Kala “ (translatable as “an honest heart, a proud body”). - the school is situated on a crescent-shaped island. Extremities are so close to each other they would form almost a circle. - the extremities of the island mark the entry of Onopwulopwul.
They are littered by two statues representing the school’s founder :
twins Olisihpa and Olosohpa. - there is a tiny volcano where lives lavapeople.
there is a large bay named
the Usu Bay (the Star Bay). - the school is mostly under water in the bay. dorms, break room and refectory are overwater bungalows. - Onopwulopwul is the school with the most lessons. - therefore it begins at age 10 and ended at 18. - the schooling is divided into 3 stages : > theoretical classes (Muggles Studies, Herbology, History of Magic, Astronomy Mythology Knowledge of Tribes, Potion) from the 1st to the 5th year (with a similar review to OWL). > practical classes (Potions, Charms, Defense Against the Dark Arts, Elsewhere’s Magic, Care of Magical Creatures, Transfiguration,
Transfiguration) from the 3rd to the 7th year (with a similar review to OWL). > qualifications classes
(Defense Against the Dark Arts, Elsewhere’s Magic, Care of Magical Creatures, Care of Sorcerer,
Knowledge of Tribes, History of Magic, Runes, Arithmancy,
Transfiguration, Potion, Magical Theory) from 6th to 9th grade (with a similar review to NEWT). Qualifications Classes
are a kind of preparatory class for future trades. - the school encourages sport (Muggles and wizards). They can swim in the bay without exceeding the statues of the founders. - there are no clubs. students do what they want with their free time. - sometimes the teachers take students on excursions during weekends and/or holidays. - they visit the island, neighboring islands, sometimes even surrounding countries.
• Uagadou School of Magic. South Africa -
Uganda - Africa (all) and West in the Middle East (Saudi Arabia, Iraq, Yemen, Oman, Jordan, Egypt, Turkey, Armenia, Syria). - the Board : is made up of five individuals whose achievements are recognized internationnalement. Together they govern Uagadou: choose subjects to be taught; the students; extra school activities; and even meals. The board changes only when one dies and the replacement is selected unanimously. Trivia : - school is hidden underground. - This is the oldest school of magic and the largest school in the world. - the Board accepts that the students of their choice. - they select students via dream messenger which left a token in children’s hands while they slept. - the token is a Portkey that allows them to enter in the school. - it’s possible to study ancient magic (the “forgotten magics”). - the guardians / protectors of school are zombies.
• Academy of Sïkhanéjādū. India - Satpura National Park - Central Asia (India, Bangladesh, Burma, Nepal, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Iran, Bhutan, Sri Lanka, Tajikistan, Kyrgyzstan). - Aman VAGHELA et Idha BHATTI : Aman Vaghela is a sorcerer from the highest caste in India. He protested against lack of means given lower castes to study magic. First member of the Wizengamot with his wife, Idha Bhatti, he decided to become headmaster of Sïkhanéjādū to change attitudes and offer a chance to study to all - no matter their ages or their families. Having taken a vow of silence, it’s that wife who is “the spokeswoman of the voiceless”. Trivia : - Sïkhanéjādū’s emblem is a peacock spreading its tail. - anyone can attend classes, regardless of age or social caste. - the diploma is obtained by accumulation of “units”. To validate a diploma, you need a minimum of 1500 units. The maximum is 3000 units. - each topic is worth units. (ex : Charms maximum value is 500 U) - for validating a topic, you must obtain a minimum of Units. (ex : to validate the course of Charm, you need minimum 400 U) - required courses are : Charms ; Defence Against the Dark Arts (300 U. min - 500 U. max) ; History of Magic (200 U min - 500 U max). [those courses are validated in seven years.] - complementary courses are : Applied Magic/Magical Theory (120 U min - 240 U max) ; Ancient Arts (200 U min - 240 U max) [are validated both in 4 years] ; Arithmancy (200 U min - 240 U max) [is validated in 5 years]. - optional courses are : Herbology (90 U min - 180 U max) ; Potions (90 U min - 180 U max) [are validated in 5 years] ; Care of Magical Creatures/Dressage (160 U min - 180 U max) [is validated in 4 years] ; Apparition (170 U min - 180 U max) [is validated in 1 year]. - facultative courses are : Muggle Studies ( 12 U min - 20 U max) [is validated in 4 years] ; Flying (10 U min - 20 U max) [is validated in 1 years + 1 year of flight applied] ; Meditation (10 U min - 20 U max) [is validated in 5 years] - courses under conditions : Legilimency, Occlumency, Transfiguration. These are qualifications and they reported no Units. - there are clubs : Astronomy; Duel; Dance; Music; Poetry; Sports ; Art…
• Koldovstoretz School. Russia - Siberian plateau - North Asia (Russia, Kazakhstan, Uzbekistan, Turkmenistan, Georgia, Mongolia) (+ the muggle-borns not allowed to Durmstrang). - Anatoli STALRUK (Anatoli Steel Hands) : man of action and competent sorcerer, Anatolia became headmaster of Koldovstoretz by default. Former Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, it was his older brother (the Minister of Russian Magic, Nikolai STALGLAVA, aka Nikolai Steel Head) who appoints the Headmaster. Leaving joyfully to his paperwork to his sub-alternates, Anatoli prefers having fun in the corridors of the huge school, looking to disrupt classes and students to challenge. He has no policy and leaves full responsibility of education to his teachers and deputy headmaster. Trivia : - Koldovstoretz is the second largest school in the world both in terms of space of student numbers. - the school was remodeled by the famous Baba Yaga. - schools can literally move to prevent it being found. - the school has a hymn (students love to sing). - students are very patriotic to their school - many parties are organized by students. - Koldovstoretz welcomes the muggle-borns are not allowed to Durmstrang. - of school is at the heart of a constant blizzard preventing anyone from approaching. - the students go to school by sled (similar to the Knight Bus). - teachers and sometimes the director eat the same tables as students. - most of the time, students are left to themselves and younger dependent on the benevolence of their elders. - Inuit living in Siberia study their own magic but they must pass regulatory reviews of Koldovstoretz to be recognized by the Ministry. - it’s possible to study black magic. - pets are not officially allowed. - they play a version of Quidditch where they fly on entire, uprooted trees instead of broomsticks.
• Mahoutokoro School of Magic. Japan -
Volcanic island of Minami Iwo Jima
- South Asia (Japan, Vietnam, Laos, Cambodia, Thailand) - TOKUGAWA Danjo : descendant of the Matsudaira clan, founder of Mahoutokoro. Danjo Tokugawa is a stocky men, bald and fat. Severe in his instruction, he only wants the best of his students and doesn’t hesitate to exclude those who are not up to par. Trivia : - the school blazon is the Matsudaira clan’s “Mon”(circle around three Hollyhock leaves). - only a member of the Tokugawa clan get the post of Headmaster / Headmistress. - the school is formed by
connected by bridges. - there are a total of 11 islets : one building for the headmaster and teachers (school entry) ; one for the main building (classrooms and library) ; two dormitories (one for girls and one for boys) ; one for kitchens ; five for gardens ; and finally, a last which serves as training ground. - in the most remote
islet of gardens find a temple with a Go-Shinboku planted since the school’s founding. - tutor system (senpei / kohai) is very present. - students address their teachers by calling them “sensei”. - the school is known for its large number of non-human spiritous apparition. - even if everyone can follow any topic, some are qualify as feminin and other as masculin and it’s frowned upon to depart from the rule. - even if everyone is accepted, students have to merit their places in school. - school organizes annual sports festival. (Headmaster annually invites other schools to participate even if the answer was always negative.) - the tests are : obstacle course; hunting flag; duel; demonstration ; Quidditch
• Móshùdifang, Institute of magic. China - Guilin - Central Asia (China, Korea, Tibet) - XIE An : Madam Xie An is known internationally for having fought and tamed a dragon. Respectable Seers and apprentive of the most powerful Chinese sorcerer : she inherits his position as headmistress in place of the second apprentice (and newly Minister of Magic Chinese). She creates an atmosphere of mutual aid between students and encourages working group. She is very proud of his school and its students. She doesn’t like the current headmaster of Mahoutokoro. Trivia : - Móshùdifang’s blazon is a dragon surrounding the sinogramme of "magic" and “place” in the center of a hexagon. - it’s the second oldest school of magic. - school starts at twelve years and lasts six years. - the school is located atop a hill. - each generation of students is supervised by a “governess” to guide them through their entire schooling. - the tower that serves as a dormitory is organized so that each stage represents a year. - the school specializes in enchantments and divination.
I may or may not begin a story (that I probably never finish) for each of these schools …
I think this should be an obvious choice for top spot. It’s a freaking piece of crap. A literal piece of crap, living on his crap-shaped island with his crap friends. Not really any place to go from there.
2. Welcome to Irabu’s Office
I know that most people would probably consider this a psychological anime and excuse its quirkiness under that title, but I just can’t do that. I couldn’t even give this the 3-episode test. I barely lasted through one. I could feel my brain rebelling against the fragmented plot and characters and overly-bright colors.
3. Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo
The title alone almost earns it this spot on the list. But then there’s the premise. The characters command magic power through their hair. Not even kidding. There are people who steal hair for its magic power and absurdly long wiggly mustaches and all sorts of weirdness.
4. Samurai Pizza Cats
The title pretty much tells you what you need to know about this show, and why it’s on this list. They’re samurai cats who use a pizza place as a cover for their operations base.
So in Japan, there are vending machines for pretty much everything, and that’s kind of the focus of this series; juice machines. Specifically, the materials the cans are made of. The cans transform into magical girls when their owners drink from them. Their powers can only be replenished by refills or by eating the fruits that their juices come from. They use these powers to duke it out and prove which can material is the best. My favorite part was when before fights, the cans would trash talk about the other can’s materials.
6. Cat Soup
I can’t even describe how badly I was mind-fucked by this anime. Luckily, it was just a short movie. Again, falls into the category of psychological, but mostly to cover up its weirdness. The cat girl has her soul partially taken, and her brother embarks on a journey to recover it. Along the way, he eats parts of a pig alive, drinks an elephant made of water, and generally does fucked-up things.
7. Apocalypse Zero
This thankfully only had 2 episodes. It focuses on a father who trains his son and daughter to protect the rest of the human race in some post-apocalyptic future. The girl decides to use these abilities to kill off all humans instead, pitting her against her brother in a struggle for the earth’s future. Doesn’t sound too bad, right? WRONG. Everything is WAAAAAY over acted, and that’s probably the best thing I can say about it. The demons are what really puts this anime on the list. There’s one very large, fat female demon who is pretty much naked, gnarly pubic mane and all, who preys on young men and sucks their skins off. It was just so wrong.
This is one of those shows that makes more sense once you see the end, but it was still weird. The story starts with a monk whose drawings come to life, and one of those drawings, a rabbit named Koto, falls in love with him and uses a buddha’s body to approach him. They adopt a boy, and the monk draws two other siblings to complete the family, who then moves into a city that the monk drew. Again, colors way too bright, and a rushed, fragmented plot.
9. Kill la Kill
I know a lot of people like this, but just think about the plot for a minute: Clothes. Try. To take. Over. The. World. Fucking clothes! And then the plot just gets weirder from there, from motherly rape to ridiculous amounts of fan service. So weird.
10. Sleeping with Hinako
I think it’s a testament to the other animes on this list that an anime with 40 minutes of a sleeping girl is ranked last. But seriously, she talks for a bit, then sleeps. Obviously this is unashamedly for people who want fanservice. But it’s still ridiculously weird.
If you thought the cliffs and mountains in Uranesia were high, that was nothing! This is my first attempt at giving the island a pointed volcanic shape, but it won’t look very different when it’s finished :)
What is your favorite time period for music? What is your favorite time period for material art?
Despite the fact that I’m apparently a nineteenth-century scholar, it’s my least favorite era for (art) music : P My mother’s specialty as a performer is mid-twentieth-century modernist music, and I developed an interest in early music when I was still a kid. Thus, I kind of missed out on the common practice era and this whole “tonality” business until I was actually taking music history classes in undergrad. While I have a fond spot for the modernists and shall never cease to live the Gian Carlo Menotti Appreciation Life, I nonetheless remain most musically at home in the seventeenth century. Like. Have you-all heard Buxtehude? I rest my case.
In terms of material art, I favor a lot of different schools but not necessarily one era. I hope it is no mere display of scholarly partiality to say that vernacular material culture of the early-nineteenth-century warms my heart in a peculiar way, though. I currently own three different terrible bland white plywood bookshelves that I rescued from the stoop, and it is taking all of the dismal poverty I have at muster to prevent me from buying a bunch of acrylics and going full Fraktur over those horrifying things.