Please read Surah Taha if you feel down. Read with its translation word to word and reflect on its meaning. You will find so much comfort in the Quran, your heart will soften with His beautiful words. Your heart will find ease only if you let it.
Relationships has never been something I’m brave enough to write about, especially in public. The love between a man and a woman to me is very personal. Add religion into the equation and it just becomes very sacred to me. I do not wish to write too long, since I have classes tomorrow at 9am and it’s exactly 4.30am right now. However, I just need to let a few things off my chest because it has been bothering me for quite a while now. Also, due to my hectic schedule, this is the only time I have to write- though I swear to god I’m super sleepy right now
Before we jump into the topic, yes I am single. Have I ever been in a relationship? The answer is also yes. I know how it feels like to love and be loved the same way I know how it feels to be completely shattered. You see, different people have different definitions of love. I strongly believe that the people we fall in love with can sometimes reflect the kind of person we are. For instance, I really value religion, knowledge and ambition. Thus, if i were to marry someone, I look for someone with these exact characteristics. I want someone who has the same goals that I have. Someone who will not only fight with me to succeed in this world, but also in the hereafter. I need someone who works just as hard as I do, not someone who is always tired and only cares about sleep. No more time should be wasted with whiny and lazy ambitionless boys. If you’re serious to pursue a relationship, look for a man.
If there’s one thing a relationship has taught me, it is the importance of maturity when it comes to love. NEVER indulge in a relationship just because it’s a ‘nice’ feeling. If you want to be with someone might as well be with a person who will help bring the best out of you, spiritually, mentally and also emotionally. If the relationship you are in is leading you towards the haraam, leave. No buts. It is just the end of a toxic relationship, not the end of the world.
By the way people, it is perfectly OKAY to be single. I have been single for over a year now, and wallahi I have never been this happy and I have been achieving so much. I always tell my friends that when you are single, you have 27 hours a day. What it essentially mean is that you’ll have more time for yourself. I know some people who can only seek comfort in the presence of their significant other. After one relationship ends they feel the need to jump into another. Chill people, chill. Take a breather. You don’t need another person to feel sufficient. Try to be comfortable and at peace with yourself with or without a relationship. You have the rest of your life to be spent with your significant other, so while you’re single, might as well really embrace/enjoy it.
Okay last point before I hit the sack, never settle. Ya Allah I can’t stress this enough. Being single is better than being with the wrong person. As they say, it’s better to wait long than marry wrong. If we dont know what we deserve, we will always settle for less. But to deserve more, we should first be more. Build your character before you choose to build a family. Study hard, learn new skills, take up a hobby, read more, travel. There’s so much that can be done when you’re single for your personal development. Take care of yourself. Your health, spirituality, intelligence, akhlak (good character) etc & inshaAllah you’ll get someone who’d do the same for you.
Jim Rohn once said, “The greatest gift you can give somebody is your own personal development. I used to say, ‘If you will take care of me, I will take care of you.’ Now I say, ‘I will take care of me for you, if you will take care of you for me”.
I know this entry is all over the place, but I’m half awake so do forgive me. I hope you find this post helpful. As for me, call me philophobic but I am personally afraid to be in a relationship again. But when the time comes, I hope the guy I end up with will be proud with the lady I have become. If you happen to read this, whoever you may be, please know that not a day passes that I don’t make do’a for you, and for us. Wherever you are in this world, I hope you are also striving to be your best self. May Allah make it easy for us to find our way to each other. See you when I see you!
Ending this cringey post with one of my favorite quotes from Rumi,
‘Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along.’
Sometimes I make dua for the people I follow on tumblr, but I don’t always know their real names so my dua ends up being like “oh Allah, please bless brother ‘shaykh-it-dont-break-it’ and give him the strength to make it through finals. Ameen.”
No amount of guilt can change the past and no amount of worrying can change the future. Go easy on yourself for the outcome of all affairs is determined by Allah’s Decree. If something is meant to go elsewhere, it will never come on your way, but if it is yours by destiny, from you it cannot flee.
Well, that’s chill. I might not agree, but I support your right to your own beliefs. You want to go to church every holiday, or every Sunday, or even every day? That’s chill too man. I mean, do what you want in your time. You want to follow the rules of your religion-not do certain things/do other stuff? Alright man, follow whatever code/law/moral-religious-personal rules you want to.
BUT IF YOU TRY TO TELL ME OR ANYONE ELSE THAT WE HAVE TO BELIEVE IN YOUR GOD, YOUR RELIGIOUS BELIEFS/RULES, OR PARTICIPATE IN ANYTHING THAT IS BASED OFF OF YOUR RELIGION THEN I WILL GO ON A VERY VERY LONG RANT.
Bonus- If you try to say your god needs to be in public schools and or that the reason *insert bad societal thing* is because your god isnt in schools, I will also go off on an extremely lengthy rant.
If you pray all 5 prayers yet you wonder why your duas are not being answered then know Allah wishes for you a higher rank & He’s pushing you to stand before Him when He is the Most Nearest to you - At Tahajjud. This is His way of inviting you to be closer to Him. Do not despair in the mercy of Allah, for He only wishes to increase you in everything.
Yesterday was the perfect example of a bad day for me. It was one of those days where nothing just seems to work, you forget everything, you lose stuff, everything goes out of hand, and just as you thought the day couldn’t possibly get worse, something else comes up. Let’s not go into details, suffice it to say the day was just horrendous.
I did, however try my best to stay positive. Told my friend Jaido who was with me that day everything that happened since morning. After hearing me rant about my miserable Sunday, she suddenly lit up- which definitely was a strange reflex. Uhm, hello, why are you happy over my suffering? Her answer was life-changing. She answered, “because your suffering means better things are coming!!!”
That positivity was so admirable MashaAllah. Her words instantly made me feel better. It was somewhat magical because I could have sworn I felt like trash two seconds before. The amount of faith she has for God is so profound. Another lesson I learnt that day was, sometimes we focus too much on the problem, we become somewhat blind towards the blessings existing concurrently. Allah says in the Quran, with hardship comes ease. WITH and not AFTER. SubhanAllah, Jaido was definitely a blessing. She was simply heaven-sent. I’m so fortunate to have such optimistic friends who knows just the right things to say when I’m at my lowest.
When He removes something in your possession it is only in order to empty your hands for an even greater gift. - Ibn Qayyim
So if you’re having one of those days, remember, BETTER THINGS ARE COMING!
*cues “Jason Mraz - Life is Wonderful” in the background*
Love, light and laughter, Aisyah Shakirah
(Shots taken that very day at Masjid Wilayah by @atiq259 on instagram)
May Allah grant you a righteous spouse, May he/she be a means for you to get closer to Allah, help each other work to please Allah and to be together in highest Jannah. May Allah grant you righteous kids who would be the coolness of your eyes. Who would continiously pray for you even when you have passed away. May they be a source of unending rewards for you.
While this Ramadan, you make a list of things you want to ask from Him, please also remember every single person who has benefited you in any way, whether they are a part of your life or not. In fact, even the people that have wronged you. Just pray for them. You will be granted the best kind of peace in your heart.