islamic ettiquettes

DONT LOOK DOWN AT PEOPLE 

Ibn al-Qayyim رحمه الله said:

“If Allaah opens for you (gives you success to doing that action) the door of standing for the night prayer then DO NOT look at those who are sleeping with a look of disdain.

And if Allaah opens for you the door of fasting then DO NOT look at those who break their fast with a look of disdain.

And if Allaah opens for you the door of jihad then DO NOT look at those who sit and do not participate with a look of disdain.

Maybe the one who sleeps, breaks his fast and sits is CLOSER to Allaah than you!

Ibn al-Qayyim said: "And indeed that you spent the night sleeping and woke up regretful is BETTER than the one who spent the night standing and woke up admiring himself for indeed the one who admires himself actions are not accepted”

[Madaarij as saalikeen 1/177]

Do not let your love be obsessive and do not let your hatred be destructive. When you love, do not go to a level of obsession as a child does with the thing he loves, and when you hate, do not hate in such a way that you want your opponent to be destroyed and doomed.
— 

Umar Ibn al-Khattab (radiyAllahu'anhu):

[Narrated by Abd ar-Razzaaq in al-Musannaf, 20]

Malik ibn Dinar:

“The believer is noble and generous in all states. He does not like that his neighbour be harmed nor that any of his relatives be in poverty.” 

Malik then wept and said,

“By Allah, despite that, he (the believer) is rich at heart although he does not possess anything in this world. If you were to try and trip him up and cause him to slip in his religion, he will never slip. But if you were to deceive him in his wealth, he will be deceived.” (i.e. his concern, protection and strength lies in his religion more than his worldly possessions).

[Virtues of Makarim al-Akhlaq:Translated from ‘Makarim al-Akhlaq’ by Ibn Abi Dunya (d.281 AH)]

The prohibition of two conversing privately

The Messenger of Allah صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ said:

إِذَا كُنْتُمْ ثَلَاثَةً, فَلَا يَتَنَاجَى اِثْنَانِ دُونَ اَلْآخَرِ, حَتَّى تَخْتَلِطُوا بِالنَّاسِ; مِنْ أَجْلِ أَنَّ ذَلِكَ يُحْزِنُهُ

“When three of you are together, two of you must not converse privately ignoring the third until you mingle with other people (i.e. you are joined by others), lest the third should be grieved.”

This contains a tremendous etiquette from the etiquette of the gatherings; and that is by abandoning everything which will harm the gathering from statements and actions. It is obligatory to pay attention to this etiquette, thus leaving off everything which will harm those sitting in the gathering from statements and actions.

If there are three people in a gathering the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم has prohibited two of them from conversing privately in exclusion of the third. Then he صلى الله عليه وسلم said:

حَتَّى تَخْتَلِطُوا بِالنَّاسِ; مِنْ أَجْلِ أَنَّ ذَلِكَ يُحْزِنُهُ

Until you mingle with other people (i.e. you are joined by others), lest the third should be grieved.

How could he be grieved? Because shaytaan might come and whisper to him that these two are conspiring against him, or backbiting him, or the like; from the affairs which are hated. Thus this will cause him grief.

For this reason the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said: ‘lest the third should be grieved’. Thus if there are three of you in a gathering it is not permissible for two of you to converse privately in exclusion to the third. But if you enter a group of people; or a group of people join you, and the gathering fills, and your number increases, and you are no longer this number (meaning three) then there is nothing wrong with two people conversing privately between themselves; but if they are only three; then no; because it will bring about hatred. And he may think these two are backbiting him, or plotting against him, or scheming against him with something he will dislike.

Thus the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم was diligent in cutting off the reasons that lead to resentment in the hearts and animosity between the people.

Explained by: Shaykh Muhammad bin Haadee Translated by: Rasheed ibn Estes Barbee Translated for Miraath Publications