Concise Advice To Husbands (Part 2)
A short reminder to brothers inshaaAllaah
4. Respect Her Opinions
Respect her opinions when she advises you and learn to shower her with affection, as this will bring out the best in her. Ask her what she thinks of such and such decision you’re going to make, especially if it affects her as well.
As the man of the house, yes you make the final decision, but it doesn’t mean you don’t consult your wife in the decision making process. And don’t laugh or mock her opinions as this will kill her self-confidence. Moreover, it shows you have no consideration for her feelings, and women don’t like that. Hurting her emotionally is a killer. Women have soft hearts, so pay heed and learn to only say good and nice things.
5. Be Her Best Friend
A woman not only wants a man who is her husband, but she also wants you as her best friend. Someone she can share her secrets with. Someone who is by her side through the ups and downs of life. Show her she is close to you by sharing your joy with her; telling her of your secrets, your happy days, your sad days.
Do not be overly strict with her, and learn to have a sense of humor. Don’t be a boring husband; joke with her, tease her, play with her, but don’t overdo it such that she cannot even have a serious conversation with you when required.
And a part of being her best friend is to not choose your other friends over her. This nicely leads me to point 6.
6. Don’t Choose Your Friends Over Her
Try not to spend more time with your friends as compared to the time you spend with her. Even the time you do spend with her, make sure its quality time. Don’t look at the quantity (although this is also important) but also look at the quality of the time you spend with her. Do things together with her, go for a walk in the park together. Don’t have all your fun time with your friends, and then come home tired and thus ignore her for the rest of the day because you’re “tired”.
If something interesting happened to you during your day, first speak to her about it. Don’t let her feel as if you love your friends more than you love her. And a woman judges the level of love by how much quality time you spend with her and who you go to when you want to talk about something.
If something happened to you during the day, tell her. Share your experience with her, share you day with her, share your life with her. Don’t be a boring husband who doesn’t tell her how your day went. You’re her husband and she wants to bond with you, and one crucial way to do this is to have that emotional bond with her. If something interesting happened to you, then share it with her.
The last thing you want is for her to think you share all your jokes and day experiences with your friends and not with her. The last thing you want is for her to hear you speaking on the phone to your friend about a funny incident that happened during the day, and then when she asks you what happened, you ignore her and say “nothing”, treating her as a fly.