isabelle's closet

I’m Bisexual, and Scared.

There are few things in the world that I’m ashamed or embarrassed about. And being bisexual wasn’t one of them. Yes, wasn’t.

I was in lunch with one of my best friends some time ago. We were discussing TV Shows and when what was supposed to come back on and we ended up discussing Shadowhunters. She knows how near and dear to my heart it is. She asked why this show meant so much to me. I told her simply because of the representation and how important it makes me feel. She knows I’m bisexual. When I first told her, years prior, I wasn’t scared. I was loud and proud with my sexuality. She says to me “Because of the bisexual characters right?” It wasn’t just the bisexual characters, it was everything. I didn’t know how to explain my deep-seated love for this show in a way she, as a straight woman, would understand. I’m not saying straight people wouldn’t understand, she just wouldn't understand my feelings without getting into other topics. She saved me by asking another question, but this question made me question myself. She asks, “but aren’t you scared to tell people you’re bisexual?” She didn’t mean any harm by it. She was just genuinely curious. The bell rang and lunch was over. But I couldn’t leave that question alone. This memory resurfaced because of something I overheard the other day and it just twisted my insides apart.

Was I scared? I had never thought about it. I didn’t think there was any reason to be scared, but deep down I knew I should be.

Honestly? Yes. I am scared. I am terrified to tell people I am bisexual. And I shouldn’t be.

The stereotypes ruin chances of a relationship with someone because I’m “not loyal” or “I’m going to cheat” with the opposite sex. Bisexuals are players or they will never learn to settle for just one person. All of these things, I’ve been old at least twice in my life. It never bothered me before, until she asked if I was scared.

Shadowhunters guided me through those deep-rooted insecurities and showed me that I am bisexual and there is nothing wrong with that. I am not a cheater or a player, and I am fiercely loyal. I connect with Magnus and all the Seelies. Magnus is in the healthiest relationship on the show, and he’s bisexual. Magnus Bane is bisexual, and loyal and loved.

Am I proud of who I am? Yes. Am I scared to tell the world I’m bisexual? Not anymore, and I have Magnus Bane and Harry Shum Jr. to thank for that.

If any of you are struggling with who you are and can’t see a way out, I’m right here. I’m a click of a button away. If you read this far, you are loved. Bisexual, gay, lesbian, straight, etc. You are all loved and I’m here to tell you that you shouldn’t be ashamed of who you are. It may take you a while to see that, but you will. And you’ll fly those colors high in the sky. This was an unplanned rant/post but I needed to say it and Tumblr was the safest place I felt I could go to. 

Isabelle the Malec shipper
  • Isabelle: It's good practice.
  • Alec: Huh?
  • Isabelle: For asking Magnus out.
  • *next day Alec proposed to Lydia*
  • Isabelle: I said Magnus, not Lydia, and go on a date, not propose. Geez...
This is why Alec is so important.

I just can’t explain how much Alec means to me. Being a closeted gay myself, it means the world to me to have a character like Alec in my life. For those of you that have no idea how it feels to be closeted, it’s torture. You go from being absolutely terrified, to just wanting to be yourself and being unable to. There’s so much on the line being in the closet, because it means having to come out and having the risk of losing everything/everyone. You don’t know if your family will accept you, and you don’t know if they’ll disown you or even kick you out. It’s a lot of pain and a large burden to hold all the time. When I read TMI, I identified so much with sweet lil muffin Alec and I loved reading his story. His story shows an accurate representation of the stages of being in the closet, to coming out, to closeted relationships. Seeing Alec in Shadowhunters struggle so deeply about who he is, is so eye opening for people who have no idea what it feels to be gay and/or in the closet. When you’re in the closet you feel shameful, you’ve gone through stages where you hated the fact that you’re gay, you’ve struggled so deeply inside about this. Add the constant fear of someone finding out and never speaking to you again. People who aren’t 100% accepting of gay people, because they don’t understand it will begin to understand it more and accept it more, as they watch Alec struggle so internally. His character is spreading awareness to non-LGBTQ+ people and honestly to homophobes, as well. Alec’s character is also so important on this show, because he is going to give hope to the LGBTQ+ youth. They’ll see Alec struggling so deeply inside and it will resonate with them, because they understand how he feels and then they’ll feel like they’re not alone. They’ll start accepting theirselves a little bit more, because seeing Alec will help them realize that there’s nothing wrong with who they are. Alexander Lightwood is so important to have in not only Shadowhunters, but just on tv in general. To all the LGBTQ+ youth out there, there’s nothing wrong with who you are and you aren’t alone. If you need someone to look up to, look up to Alec. When I read the books he helped me come to be more accepting of myself and made me feel less alone, so I hope he can do the same for you. Honestly, if you don’t watch Shadowhunters for whatever reason, I think the show is worth watching even if you’re just there for Alec.

anonymous asked:

if you could ship any of your mutuals with members of exo who would you ship with who?

am i supposed to pick just one? let me try..

Baekhyun: @byunlucid Sofie and Baek will make the cutest couple omg!! They will both become each other’s main hype person!! They can also playfully tease and fight each other with neither backing down until they just get bored and want to quieten down a bit while cuddling lol..Sofie will also give her true opinions Baek’s decisions and will stop him from doing anything dumb if necessary *coughs 130328 coughs*…

Chanyeol: @co-kai-ne Sofi and Chanyeol will make a very chill and laid back kinda couple!! You probably won’t see them attached to each other by the hip all the time but if so she will probably be sitting on his lap or he will try to keep her close to hug her from the back..Sofi will also be Chanyeol’s biggest hype woman especially for his solo projects and she will be the greatest encouragement he will have cause Sofi is that kinda girl!!

Kyungsoo: @sekaisoosgirl Ksoo and Berlinda (( im tryna be professional by calling you this )) will make the cutest couple out there!! Their height difference will be so perfect and she can snuggle up to him so cutely!! Random thought but I see kyungsoo as the type to love to cook for and feed his partner and I know the hoe will enjoy that especially while she’s being lazy to eat or studying and she would want that pampering from him..so yeah he earns points there!!

Sehun: @starsehun This is what we call a power couple everybody! Kirpreet is a true beaut and Sehun, well, doesn’t need much explaining so you put them together and you get hotness explosion (no joke!). Sehun is also the type to coddle and pamper his girlfriend so it’s cute cause Kira will want those slow kisses while cuddling whenever she’s feeling down or is sick..

Jongin: @flawlessohsehun Natalie and Kai will be a sweet couple!! They will always be there for one another when things are rough and they will be that sweet lovey-dovey couple who are shy in public! But they are also the couple who playfully try to drag their friends whenever they get the chance and they will plot the drag together lmao

Suho: @jonmyecn Anna and Junmyeon will be the couple that always cutely argue over small things each time you see them cause Anna will playfully drag Suho and his jokes every chance she gets and he will start giggling and feeling shy but she will go and hug him and tell him she loves him anyways cause that’s how cool Anna is and they will go back to being a fluffy pair..Also I see them bonding over (dumb) memes cause they both find those so goddamn hilarious.. 

Yixing: @xingslove Areka and Yixing will be SO CUTE OMG!! She will be typo queen and he will find it so adorable and tell her that she’s being cute when she is 82173218% done with herself for making them!! They will also be that parent couple when they go out with friends to drink, telling everyone to be careful and not get too wasted but will probably be done with the group halfway and will sneak away to have some fun on their own and come back hours later to collect the rest of the group..(( mom you know you would ditch us so pls ))

Jongdae: @tadaeshi As much as I hate to admit it, Isabelle is a soft (closeted hard stan) just like Jongdae and they will be that couple that is constantly looking out for their friends when they go out as a group and stuff. They will be that “responsible” couple but will also have their fun when no one is watching. And also they will love to cuddle whenever they get the chance..but they will be that couple that can’t get their hands off each other so Jongdae will always be holding her whenever you see them together!

Minseok: @xiubyuns Jen and Minseok will be couple goals cause of their understanding nature and that would make them a couple that can easily talk things out with one another and they will easily reach a good comfort level with one another easily. Also, if either of them are upset, cheesy cute aegyo will do the cheering up for both of them cause they’re both into being like that!! (( Minseok will be the only one who eats Jeninder’s burnt rotis while pretending to enjoy them so that’s already MAJOR MAJOR points <– i just had to.. ))

I am lowkey convinced, that the reason Alec dresses so much better in the show than in the books is because every few weeks/months, Isabelle goes through his closet and either mends or throws out the clothes he’s completely worn through or ruined. Then she’ll buy him similar clothes to replace the ones she got rid of. Alec hasn’t noticed yet. Jace has.

2

Requested Imagine:
Imagine being best friends with Clary and being by her side while she is going through everything with her mom. Your going to the Downworlders Rave with the rest. Things go wrong and you disappear and Alec freaks out. ———————————–
Y/N POV
We were going to this thing called the Downworlders Rave to meet some guy named Magnus to get Clary’s memories back. Right now Clary and I are in Isabelle’s room to get ready. I was looking out Isabelle’s window, not paying much attention, while she was getting Clary into a dress. I was in my own world thinking about everything that has happened over the past couple of days when Isabelle got my attention.

“Y/N, it’s your turn.” She said while I turned toward her and Clary. Isabelle went toward her closet while I saw what Clary was wearing.

“Well that’s a completely new look for you Clares.” I said jokingly.

“Shut up.” She sarcastically.

“Here you go.” Isabelle interrupted.

“Woah.. Are you sure I can pull that off?” I said with doubt in my voice.

“Yes I’m absolutely sure.”

“Alright, if you say so.” I took the dress and went to get changed. I heard two people walk into Izzy’s room. I heard Jace’s voice compliment Clary then someone scoffed. I realized the other person was Alec. I paused getting on the shoes Izzy gave me and blushed. Even though Alec didn’t seem to like me, Simon, and Clary I couldn’t help but be attracted to him. But he did seem to be nicer to me then the others. I finished getting on my shoes and stepped out.

“Oh my Gosh! You look amazing!” Clary exclaimed. I looked at Isabelle and Jace and they agreed. When I looked at Alec he was staring at me with a admiring look.

“What do you think Alec?” I asked with hope for a good answer.

“You umm….That dress…uhh You..” Jace elbowed him in the ribs while Isabelle was chuckling under her breath. “I mean you look amazing, beautiful even.” I blushed bright red and looked down.

*Time Skip*

We were outside the club where the Rave was taking place. Alec and Isabelle came up behind Clary, Jace, and I.

“All clear.” Alec said. Izzy was raving about  the ruby necklace while I was walking behind with Alec. As we got into the club Jace told us what to do.

“Blend in. Keep your weapons ready. Y/N stay with Alec and Izzy.” Jace commanded.

“Alright.” I replied. We could see Clary and Jace meet Magnus from where we were standing. When all of a sudden Izzy screamed.

“Look Out!” She screamed. Alec shot the guy with one of his arrows and run off toward him. Isabelle ran off somewhere else. Before I cold follow one of them I was grabbed from behind and knocked out. But I felt my necklace fall off before I went unconscious completely.

Alec’s POV

I was checking on the assassin for any identifying marks and I found a Circle rune on the base of his neck.

“He has a Circle rune on the base of his neck.” I said.

“They found us. It’s not safe here. Clary, we have to go.” Jace said.

That’s when I started freaking out on Jace and Clary about everything.  How she has been screwing everything up. Jace started to argue back as well as Clary. I started to tune them out until Jace needed me for Parabatai tracking. When we found Magnus Jace started to talk to the others. That’s when I notice something.

“Where’s Y/N?” I said in a panic. I started to look around frantically as did everyone else. Clary started to ramble about her other best friend getting kidnapped. I ran inside to the last place I saw her while everyone else stayed outside. When I got to the spot I saw the lights of the club reflect off of something on the floor. I bent down and picked it up only to realize it was Y/N’s necklace. I straightened up and looked around. There was no sign of her. I ran back outside.

“There was no sign of her but I found her necklace. We can use it to track her down too.” I rushed out.

“Alright. Let’s do this. We’ll use Parabatai to make sure we find her.” Jace said. We used the Parabatai track to find her. We saw that she was in a warehouse tied to a chair unconscious. She was surrounded by mundanes and few vampires.

“She’s alright she was taken by mundane and vampires but the vampires won’t do anything while humans are there. We’ll go get her after we go to Magnus ’ to get your memories.” Jace said. I got upset they were choosing Clary over Y/N for some reason but I shook it off. Y/N’s POV I woke up in some kind of building. I could tell I had been sitting in this chair for a long time because the ropes were leaving burns on my skin. I started to hear commotion outside. The sounds started to get closer when the door burst open with Alec standing at the ready with his bow. He saw me and relaxed alittle and came toward me to cut me loose.

“Are you alright?” He asked.

“Yes, I’m fine. Just a bit sore. What happened? I literally just woke up.” I asked confused.

“From what we gathered, these guys took you while the assassin tried to kill Magnus.” He said while he helped me out of the binds and helped me stand up.“I came here to save while the rest went on to Magnus’ even though we agreed to come after we went to Magnus.”

“Why did we do that? You’re the one hope always wants to follow the rules.” I said as we made our way to Magnus’. He stopped both of us short and grabbed my face and kissed me hard.

“You make me want to break them. To do my own thing. Be my own person.” He said after we pulled away. I was blown away by his confession. “Oh and by the way, I found this.” He went behind me and I felt something go around my neck. I looked down to see my necklace. I turned to look at him.

“So what does this mean for us?” I asked.

“I guess it means through whatever comes next we’re in it together.” He smiled and grabbed my hand. We made our way to meet the rest hand in hand.