Background: The party had just moved into an abandoned keep and were a few days into restoring it to a liveable condition. It is now late in the evening and the hired housekeeper, a mid-twenties human woman, comes out of the kitchen to bring a quickly prepared dinner to the group. She had been receiving some grief from our tiefling paladin about the floors not being clean enough to eat off of all day. So when she sets the food before us she mutters under her breath, “I swear, if anyone drops any of this on the floor I will make you eat it off the floor and/or lick the carpets clean.”
Me (human druid): Do I hear this.
DM: It was muttered loud enough that you could hear it with your passive perception, yes.
Druid: I would like to cast feather fall on the housekeeper and then make an attack roll to trip her with my staff.
DM: Okay, make an attack roll vs her dexterity saving roll, with advantage thanks to feather fall.
Druid: rolls 17
DM: Well she rolled a 5 and an 11, so as she turns back towards the kitchen you lower the end of your staff catching it between her feet and she falls to the ground, quickly at first and then softly as feather fall takes affect.
Druid: I look down at the housemaid, smirk, and then with my -2 modifier to charisma say, “Oops looks like I dropped you on the floor, I guess I will have to lick your carpet clean.“
(Everyone looks to me and then the DM, stunned, as this is the first time ever playing my character has done anything like this, usually being the serious one of the group)
DM: Roll a straight charisma check, with disadvantage.
Druid: First roll Natural 20, second roll… another Nat 20!!
DM: Seriously, she rolled a 2 for her charisma saving throw!
Druid: The druid leans further down to her ear and whispers, "your quarters or mine”.
(Everyone loses it at this point.)
(The housekeeper and my druid have been dating ever since and may have a little one on the way.)
Sometimes I just want to know why every damn bastard in this industry feels the right to offend and disparage Louis Tomlinson. But the thing is that he ALWAYS stand out because he’s so beautiful and kind, he’s also so loved by his fans and bandmates, they talk about him with so much love and adoration. Everyone is watching him because he is so creative and talented, a true leader. I would go to war for him, because he’s worth it. So at this rate their comments are useless to me, He has shown that he cares about me, about us. I wouldn’t change him for anything, never