25th May 2017

more doodles & flat lays! tbh i’m so grateful for everyone who has left nice comments on my posts, messaged me, followed, reblogged or liked my posts (*¯︶¯*) i hit 2k followers last week and i just want to say a big THANK YOU!! i love all of you sm ✨💕 

side note: i just created a studygram @charlenestudies and it would be amazing if you could give it a follow!! 

currently listening to — really really // winner

I wanted to hate him.
For my blood to boil and churn with my loathing for him.
He had broken my heart. But even then…
But even fucking then, despite that my heart was obliterated, I knew. 
I just knew, I would always be his. 
But he had never been mine.

It had just taken me two years and countless missed calls to realize.

—  M.C.E he was my soulmate but I wasn’t his.
Republican candidate 'body-slams' Guardian reporter in Montana
Audio obtained of Greg Gianforte attacking a reporter on the eve of a special election to fill a congressional seat vacated by a member of the Trump administration
By Julia Carrie Wong

The Republican candidate for Montana’s congressional seat slammed a Guardian reporter to the floor on the eve of the state’s special election, breaking his glasses and shouting, “Get the hell out of here.”

Ben Jacobs, a Guardian political reporter, was asking Greg Gianforte, a tech millionaire running for the seat vacated by Ryan Zinke, about the Republican healthcare plan when the candidate allegedly “body-slammed” the reporter.

“He took me to the ground,” Jacobs said by phone from the back of an ambulance. “This is the strangest thing that has ever happened to me in reporting on politics.”

Continue Reading.

For the one that attempts to love me next

you should know
I am not the vision of strength you see

for I am made of
skin that melts at the touch of affection
Bones that turn to dust every time someone speaks into them
hands that sometime hold on too strong and too long 
a mind that I find hard to understand at times
And a heart that’s far too fragile for me to ever admit

Everything about me is so perishable
I’m convinced I’d seize to exist
next time I am loved incorrectly

—  Odett G 
Dear Journal,

I’ve never been this scared in my life. This morning I woke up early to go get Teddy and we watched the teletubbies. We were cuddled on the couch and Teddy was sipping his chocolate milk when Sirius woke up. He came through the door looking really tired… and pale.

“Goodmorning honey… You look pale, are you okay?” I said, siting up.

Sirius opened his mouth to talk but he instantly fell to the floor.

“Sirius?!” I yelled, running to his side.

He was unconscious. I tried to shake him but he wouldn’t wake up. At least he still had a pulse.

“Sirius.. Babe wake up please! Sirius wake up!” I said, shaking him.

“Dadda?” Teddy said, worry in his eyes.

“It’s okay baby.. Can you get me my wand please?” I said as Teddy grabed my wand that was resting on the table.

“C'mere baby, it’s okay.. do you have your plushie with you?” I asked him.

He nodded and held the stuffed animal close to his chest.

“Okay hold me close alright? We need to get Padda to the hospital.. Can you do that for me honey?” I asked, feeling my heartbeat quicken.

He nodded again and i held him close to me. I took Sirius’ hand and the next thing I knew, we were in St-Mungos.

“I need help please!” I yelled so someone could take care of him.

A lady and a man ran to me and put Sirius’ unconcious body on a barrow. The lady asked me some questions while she took his pulse and they left in a hurry, pushing my husband away from me. The next thing I knew, I was alone with Teddy in the waiting room.

“Dadda?” Teddy asked, tears running down his cheeks.

“Oh it’s okay baby. I’m here.. Padda will be okay alright?” I said, my own eyes getting teary.

“But.. why are you crying?” Teddy said with his little baby voice and his shaking bottom lip.

“I just got scared that’s all honey.. Everything will be alright..” I said, not even believing my own words.

I gave a call to James and Lily so they could come and get Teddy. I didn’t want him to stay here, traumatized. James and Lily arrived a few seconds after our call. They both looked so worried. James was holding something in a blanket and I assumed it was Harry.

“Where is he? Is he okay?” James asked.

“I-I don’t know..” i said, trying not to cry.

Lily took Teddy in her arms and tried to calm him.

“He’ll be fine.. He’s strong.” James said, hugging me.

“I’m s-so scared..” I cried.

“He’ll be fine.. He’s in good hands..” James said.

“Lily.. Can you take Teddy home with you? I don’t want him to see all of this..” I asked her.

“Okay.. but call me when you have any news..” She said, taking Harry in her other arm.

“Dadda?” Teddy said.

“It’s okay honey. I’ll stay here with uncle James and we will wait for Padda okay? I’ll come and get you the minute I can my love.” I said, giving him a kiss on the forehead.

“No.. I want to stay with you..” He said, his eyes getting glossy.

“I know baby.. I know.. I’ll be with you soon I promise.”

“And Padda?”

I took a deep breath and looked at his sad little eyes. He was asking for hope without knowing it.

“Yes.. With Padda..”

“You promise?” He asked, his small hand in mine.

“I promise. I love you my little angel. Now go have fun with Lily and Harry.” I said, trying to cheer him up.

“Okay… but can you give Padda my plushie? It will keep him safe and give him courage.” Teddy said, handing me his stuffed puppy.

“I will baby. He’ll be happy to have it with him.”

“I love you Dadda.”

“I love you too Teddy.”

And then Lily, Harry and my little Teddy disapeared. I colapsed on my knees and started crying uncontolably. James took me in his arms and whispered in my ear, that everything was going to be alright. My Sirius. My love. I just wanted to hold him…

Once I calmed down, he called Regulus to let him know what was going on. He also came rushing in a few minutes later. When he saw me, he hugged me close to him. I felt like I was hugging Sirius in some way.. They look so much alike..


After about 3 hours of waiting and stressing out, a lady came in with a note pad. James, Regulus and I instantly stood up.

“Are you all related to Mr.Black?” The lady asked,

“I’m his husband..” I said.

“And I’m his brother..” Regulus said.

“Well.. I’m his best friend..” James added.

“Okay.. He just woke up, he’s doing good. You guys can go see him in a few minutes.”

My heart started beating again. He was okay. I sighted and Regulus and James both hugged me.

“I need to tell Teddy.. He must be so worried..” I said.

“I’ll go get him, don’t worry about it… Go get our Padfoot.” James smiled, his hand on my shoulder.

“Thank you Prongs..” I said.

The lady came back in and told me to come in.

When I walked in, Sirius was there. He was laying on the bed his eyes half opened. The machine was beeping to the sound of his heartbeat and he had and I.V. In his hand. When he saw me, he smiled.

“Hey..” he said, his voice raspy.

I walked up to him and gave him a kiss. I brushed my hand on his cheek, as if I needed to know this was real.

“I was so worried..” I said, tears rolling down my cheeks again.

“I’m sorry.. The doctor said I got dehydrated and my bloodpressure went down really quickly so I collapsed..” He said, talking really slowly.

“Are you in pain?” I asked.

“No.. I just feel really tired.. Where’s Teddy?” He asked, looking around for his son.

“Lily took care of him. He’s on his way with James.. He was so scared for you.. Oh, he told me to give you this..” I said, handing Sirius the stuffed puppy Teddy always loved.

“He said that it would protect you and give you courage..” I smiled.

“Merlin he’s adorable..” Sirius chuckled.

“I love you.. You scared me.” I said, kissing his lips once more.

“I love you too.. I’m sorry.” He said.

We then heared small steps coming into the room.

“Padda!” Teddy said, running to the bed.

I picked him up so he could sit on the bed and hug Sirius.

“You Okay Padda?” Teddy asked.

“I’m okay baby.. I’m sorry I scared you. Your little Padfoot puppy gave me some courage, thank you for letting me keep it.” Sirius smiled.

“You needed him more than me.. i love you Padda.. You too Dadda..” Teddy said, smiling to both of us.

“Oh we love you too baby bear.. We love you so so much..” Sirius said.

Regulus, James and Lily got their turn to talk with Sirius. They were all relieved. The nurse asked us to stay until next morning so they could check on Sirius.

“You can go home babe, I’ll be fine..” Sirius said.

“For the number of times you stayed with me at the hospital wing, You should let me stay..” I smirked.

He smiled and kissed me.

That night, we watched a movie all cuddled in Sirius’ hospital bed. Sirius and I were side by side, and Teddy on my chest. I got Sirius some flowers from the gift shop. He liked them a lot. He fell asleep with Teddy cuddled against him when night came. I watched my two loves cuddling and smiled to myself. I got scared today, but everything was alright.

We were together.

May 24th 1998


3rd week of May
“The thousands of moons, The river above the sky, I made it all, I take you to the moon.” Jonghyun Moon
Here is my blue spread for last week! May is almost coming to an end.  (# ̄ω ̄)

Dear Journal,

I didn’t have a really good night of sleep but I didn’t care. Sirius was okay. Every hour I would wake up to check on him. Teddy was cuddled up against him and it made me smile. Looking back at our Hogwarts days, I would’ve never imagined myself married to Sirius, and even less being parents! I woke up pretty early and the nurse told me that I should check on him at home and be sure he drinks enough water. My poor Sirius, he must’ve been so scared waking up surrounded by machines without knowing where he was. I was siting on a chair next to Sirius’ bed, playing with his hair. His hand was in mine even if he was sleeping. Teddy was facing his chest, curled into Sirius’ arms, his thumb in his mouth. My two treasures. I was smiling to myself, looking at Teddy sleeping when I noticed that Sirius woke up. He cracked an eye open and smiled when he saw me. I caressed his cheek and kissed his forehead.

“Hey..” I whispered.

“Hey.. Did you get some sleep?” He asked, already worrying about me.

“A bit yeah. You feeling okay?” I asked.

“Yes, my head is killing me but i’m feeling better.” He said.

“Do you want me to ask for some headache pills?” I asked, brushing his hair away from his face.

“Yeah maybe that could help.. thank you.” He said.

The nurse said that it was very common to have headaches after fainting. She gave Sirius a painkiller and he felt better afterwards. We got to go back home in the afternoon. I helped Sirius walk to the house and instantly put him to bed. Teddy was taking a nap in his crib so I decided it was a paerfevt time for me and Sirius to rest.

“ You need to rest okay love?” I said.

“Can you stay with me? And play with my hair?” He asked, looking like a puppy.

“Of course..” I said, cuddling him close.

I delicatly brushed my fingers on his back and in his hair.

“ if you feel dizzy, tell me okay?” I said.

“I will.”

“And if you’re thisty, I put a water bottle next to you..”

“Okay, thank you.”

“Also if you want to go pee during the night, tell me. I don’t want you to walk there on your own..” I said.

“Okay. Now stop worrying and let’s just go to sleep..” Sirius said, kissing my lips slowly.

“Okay..” i smiled.

I held him close to me the entire nap.

I will write tonight.

May 25th 1998