is-fab

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status: accepting

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Cesc Fabregas has taken the sensational step of denying he has fallen out with Chelsea manager Antonio Conte. The Spain midfielder has not started any of Chelsea’s opening three Premier League games - which have left them with maximum points - and has only appeared from the bench in one game, against Watford.

While he did feature in the EFL Cup last week, the 29-year-old was left on the bench for the visit of Burnley on Saturday. Fabregas took to his Twitter account to insist that he had no issues with the Italian manager.

Fabregas – ‘Contrary to what has been written, the manager and I have a good relationship and he has NEVER told me that I can leave. He said that he counts on me, as I count on him. I will continue to fight for this club until the very end and when called upon I will always give my very best. I’m fully committed to Chelsea and my only goal is to help them win football matches.’

One of my absolute favorite tropes of all time is forcing the protagonists to do something absolutely ridiculous and mundane with incredibly high stakes.

Want to continue to train and get more powerful to protect the world from the worst enemies you’ve ever faced?  First you must GET YOUR DRIVER’S LICENSE.

If you don’t take my daughter to prom, then your city will be eaten by GIANT BEES.

You absolutely must trick-or-treat, an innocent children’s pastime, or I WILL EAT YOU.

Give me all the totally ridiculously high-staked adventures in like knitting or participating in a beauty pageant, give me all of it.