is this what being a real human is like?

i don’t get why people want the pokemon in the detective pikachu movie to look more realistically animated when many–of what i assume are people from the same or agreeing crowd–are complaining it looks too gritty and edgy

like. if you can’t stand mr. mime’s furless ass having very gently animated fuzz, dimples, and freckling? you are NOT gonna have a good time seeing what other furred and… not furred pokemon look like, more realistically than that. i also don’t get why anyone would walk into a movie that is going to have any Impossible Anatomy Pokemon and expect or even want to be convinced that’s real. like wow, i sure do want to see some eyeballs stuck on magnets. check out that weird… flat frog… with a transparent torso… showing swirly intestines. isn’t that a coconut tree with–oh god are those human faces on coconuts???

like the only other non pokemon being i can imagine similar to jigglypuff is kirby and i do NOT want to imagine him real life hi-res. i love him and i would never want that for him.

it makes me so mad that the shitty parts of the internet prey on awkward outcast children (boys), often with no real understanding of what they’re talking about, to drag them in and mold them into shitty, bigoted human beings. like we have a student who’s fourteen? fifteen? and he makes terrible, offensive jokes and memes that he flat-out does not understand and is just mimicking because he found them on the internet. he barely has a concept that gay people exist (and I know this through conversations with him), he didn’t know that “no homo” was a joke about gay people, and he recently asked annie if the holocaust really happened. not because he’s a denier or anything, but just because that’s where his level of conceptualization is at. I’m worried that he’s gonna get pulled into alt-right shit (which is especially going to hurt him because he’s autistic and not white) because he doesn’t understand what any of it means and thinks it’s just funny internet stuff. 

it makes me scared and angry. I understand that he’s causing damage to people around him, but he’s also being preyed on. as an adult, that’s a perspective that I am able to have. and as an adult, I know that he is literally a child. I hate it. 

Morrison vampire stuff

Some Morrison worldbuilding tidbits for you:

  • vampires getting super invested in nutrition so they know how to take care of their humans, and then being horrified at what humans will actually consume:
    • three-day-old coffee
    • twenty piece chicken nuggets
    • one (1) granola bar as a meal
    • their own fingernails
  • humans lying about what they eat:
    • “How do pop rocks even work?”
      “They’re made of tiny larvae that explode when they come into contact with human saliva.”
      “… That can’t be real.”
  • the constant exasperated repitions of “human stuff” or “vampire stuff” whenever they don’t understand each other
  • humans dabbing garlic on their pulse points when they’re pissed
    • “C’mon, I’m starving, why are you like this?”
      “Are you sorry?”
      “Yes”
      “What’s the magic word, Clarence?”
      “Please?”
  • vampires that forget humans are delicate and accidentally hurt them
  • humans that act like wounded dogs over minor injuries just to watch vampires fall over themselves apologizing
  • vampires exaggerating time for comedic effect:
    • “I haven’t heard this song in forty years”
      “This came out in 2004″
      “It’s been forty years. I have aged.”
      “You literally have not.”
    • “When was the last time you did any laundry?”
      “1965″
      “Fuck you.”
  • telling vampires to “go back to your coffin” when they’re grumpy
  • humans constantly asking “how did they do this in your day?” about every single daily task
  • vampires who hoard tools and appliances from the time period they most enjoyed
  • young vampires flipping off the sun and screaming at it about evolution
    • old vampires who pull their collars up and frown behind their sunglasses
  • erroneous threats based on abilities no vampire actually has:
    • “I’m gonna show up to your wedding as a swarm of bats and shit on the cake”

so while I will begrudgingly admit that I enjoyed Cars 3, I also kept getting taken out of it because of how many fucking questions the Cars universe raises

there’s this character that’s a school bus.. like… a normal human school bus… Not a school bus designed to transport other cars, like Mack or the helicopter from the first movie, but like… designed to carry humans inside of her?? she even references the school district she’s from?? if she was from a car school wouldn’t she be designed to carry cars not people?? is the Cars universe a post-apocalyptic nightmare world where sentient cars wiped out the humans or what??

there’s one part where Lightning McQueen fixes something by taping it back together offscreen and I’m like?? how?? you don’t have hands???

Cruz comments that something is high quality and made out of real metal but isn’t that sort of like something being made out of human skin or bones or something

a lot of the movie is about how Lightning feels inferior to the newer younger cars, but… where are they coming from?? do the cars procreate? do they just… build new cars? who is building these new cars?? and if they’re being built why can’t Lightning just get some newer parts to help him compete??

there are child cars, so… how do they get older? are their parents replacing their parts every year? are they somehow growing organically?? does it have to do with whatever horrific event wiped out humanity?

there’s a part where lightning gets all four of his wheels removed and isn’t that sort of gruesome?? aren’t those like, his legs? and wait so every time he gets a pitstop he’s getting his legs ripped off and replaced with new ones?????

why the fuck do touchscreens exist in the Cars universe THEY DON’T HAVE HANDS

why do the cars have tongues and teeth if they run on gas

all the girl cars have car eyeliner ~so you can tell that they’re girls~ but how the hell do they apply it WITH NO HANDS

if there are car billionaires, then there is car money. who is on the car money? are there car presidents? is one of them Gerald Ford? where do cars keep their car money? in their trunks? do they have car wallets? but if they keep their wallets in their trunks isn’t that like keeping your wallet in your buttcrack all the time?

Sally implies that Lightning McQueen is smelly after being a shut-in for months… so… the cars can sweat? they have sweat glands? is there car deodorant or do they just go to car washes? where would they put the car deodorant? are their wheel wells their armpits? how do they put on car deodorant WITHOUT HANDS

there’s a scene where a forklift plays a guitar and I just

anonymous asked:

Okay, putting a flower crown on serial killers harms absolutely nobody. When was the last time someone was actually injured by a serial killer, the 50s? Sorry if you think this is a trend, but putting a circlet of flowers on top of a real human being that drove a 5 inch steel knife into an innocent persons beating heart can be qualified as self expression. Learn it. PS. I play reaper in overwatch and talk like solid snake when Im on the phone. I could hack the stock market if I needed to. Bye

i cant decide what my favorite line of this is

Y’all seem to think that ‘Respect’ing other human beings means simply being nice to them, accepting their views, and excusing their actions. But…?

Respecting a person as a PERSON means that you’re acknowledging that they exist. That’s it. Speaking about them, as if they are real. That’s what it means to respect a person as a person. You can disagree and downright condemn a person’s beliefs while still acknowledging that they are a person. Because we, as people, are perfectly capable of doing terrible things and still being people. We’re capable of bad, just like we’re capable of good. The point of respecting a person as a PERSON is not accepting their views. It is not sympathizing with them. It is not giving them the benefit of the doubt. And it is not allowing them to continue to hurt you or your people without consequence. It is not excusing them. It is not surrender. 

Respecting a person is realizing that they are still a person saying these terrible things. Not excusing, forgiving, approving, or supporting these terrible things and ideas, but knowing that it was a human itself behind these actions. A person is not suddenly subhuman just because they have terrible ideologies. They’re still a person. Because people do and can have terrible, unforgivable beliefs. And do do unthinkable things. But respecting them as a person is not forgetting that they’re a human. You’re not fighting a monster (Though, a monster in this context would of course be the harmful ideals spread, and the stigma that it both caused and was generated from. Etc.) But you’re fighting another human being.

Now, this by no means should ever weaken your resolve to fight and rise against ideas, campaigns, people that seek to degrade you and oppress you and make “jokes” (can you tell that I literally do not support Felix worth a damn.) at the expense of your suffering. If anything, I feel as if viewing them as a person (read: not forgiving or excusing them. But acknowledging that they are a person.) can only strengthen your fight. The second you fight as if you’re fighting a human being, is the moment that people around you begin to understand why you’re fighting and gain the will to fight themselves. Because they’re humans too. 

People on this site are so quick to completely forget the humanity of the other people on this site over something as remedial as shipping Peridot with Lapis over Amethyst. Do not weaken your own arguments, your own voices, and your own points by dropping your voice as if it were to regard and speak to subhumans. 

Do not let the forces you fight drop your battle from your own hands. You hold it firmly, back straight, and presented at the human being that pushed you, and didn’t expect you to push back. Make them realize that they are not subhuman. Let them know that you, as a human being, are speaking to them, as a human being, on a battle field that they do not want to to be leveled and fair. Let them know that they are not subhuman, even if their beliefs are garbage. Let them know, they’re not lesser as people. 

But as a human being, their actions are unacceptable. And inhuman. Allow them the privilege to feel ashamed. Do not give them the idea that, as a ‘subhuman’, these actions are expected and allowed of them. Let them know that it’s wrong. Let them know.

And that you, as a human being, will not stand for it. 

Don’t excuse them. But see them for what they are.

Keep your vision clear, and your voice true. Know that you do not owe them kindness. But know the force that opposes you. 

Know them in a way that, in some cases, they will refuse to know you.

That’s how you win wars, my friends.

You decide to attack artists, developers, creators, and authors because you don’t like what they produce, because of the canonized ships/or the fact they like ships you don’t, because of their gender, their sexuality, and for the main fact you can’t tell the difference between fiction and reality, etc..:

You are a bully, you are an abuser, you are not a good person, something is seriously wrong with you.

You attack people over fictional material. You care more about fictional human beings than real human beings. You absolutely sicken me.

6

Okay so, this is not even me just being a weeb; I am genuinely fascinated by the live Vocaloid concerts.

There’s so many things that I think about while I’m watching.

  • She doesn’t actually have a voice; it’s computer generated .
  • Someone had to 3D model not only her, but all the choreography of her dancing.
  • THERE ARE SO MANY FUCKING PEOPLE THERE.
  • The real humans playing the backup instruments on stage with her are really talented in that they know exactly what they need to do.
  • Not only is she dancing, she’s dancing really well. Like, the moves they give her are tight as shit.
  • These songs are really catchy.
  • The fucking 3D animation is sooo smooth. Not only her movement, but her hair as well. It interacts with her body like real hair would, and I appreciate whoever animated her.
  • Also, whoever animated her gave her poses and movements that act as interaction with the audience like a real performer does. They way she points and winks at the audience makes it that much more believable. 

I just think it’s really interesting, and I would fucking love to go to one of these concerts some day.

On the topic of humans being space oddities bc that’s kind of been my most recent obsession… what if curiosity is a uniquely human thing???

let’s say aliens are real and we meet them and they just do not for the life of them understand why we do half the shit we do because they don’t understand curiosity

Because come on like other alien posts here have said humans are fucking wild we literally build spaceships and rocket ourselves to other planets before we even have the proper technology to do so just because we’re curious to see if there’s life on other planets

When we get up there into space and meet the aliens I can just see them being all like “oh yeah we discovered space travel out of necessity… our planet was going to be absorbed by a nearby supernova so we had to get out of there. How did you humans get to space?”

“Oh… we just… wanted to?? Space seemed cool. We were curious.”

And the aliens are AGHAST because why the fuck would we launch ourselves into a dark endless void out of sheer curiosity rather than necessity??? Especially when life on earth isn’t imminently in danger (not yet anyway, but that’s another post). So many failed attempts and so many struggles – literally half of the scientific world telling us that space travel isn’t possible – and yet we go and do it anyway because we were curious??? Our world was fine we had no reason to leave we just *wanted* to and that’s such a foreign concept to our alien friends

Like imagine one day a crew compromised of a group of aliens and one human are exploring unknown terrain and they approach a very dark, foreboding cave. The crew really doesn’t need to go in it, so they plan on just passing by to avoid it, but the human stops them

“Wait hold on guys, I wanna see what’s in there. I’ll be right out,” human Lena says before plunging into darkness

And the aliens ARE FREAKING YHE FUCK OUT because why would their human do that???? Is she secretly dying and she needs to find the cure in the cave?! Is there some kind of hidden secret in there that needs to be discovered for the sake of humanity??? She’s putting her life in danger!!

And human Lena walks out completely unscathed to find the rest of her crew in a total frenzy

“HUMAN LENA WHY DID YOU DO THAT DID YOU NEED TO TAKE A SAMPLE FROM THE CAVE WE DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY YOU ENDANGERED YOUR LIFE”

And human Lena just stares at them confused and says “oh no I was… just curious. Wanted to see if there was anything cool down there.”

“YOU PUT YOURSELF IN DANGER TO FIND SOMETHING ‘COOL’?!?!”

“Yeah man, and it was totally worth it. Here, I found some neat glowing rocks, take one. Oh and also this little fuzzy thing here is my friend now. I found him down there and he reminded me of my dog back at home”

One alien promptly faints because he cannot control this fucking human who brings potentially dangerous animals with her to keep as a pet

Ahh ok but like what if that’s humanity’s “superpower” like our curiosity is the one thing that has kept us going for so long because it’s what spurs so many of our innovations and discoveries 

And eventually all alien crews catch on and all want a human on their crew not just for their ability to survive extreme weather conditions but also because their curiosity often helps the aliens make vital discoveries. All a human has to do is see something and think “gee I wonder what this does” or “if I combine this two things, what will happen?” and bam new amazing life-changing discovery

Of course it also leads to a lot of explosions and trips to the infirmary, but humans are resilient, so everyone is sure we’ll be fine

  • "I solemnly swear I am up to no good": - Aries, Gemini, Sagittarius
  • ""Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can’t see where it keeps its brain.": - Scorpio
  • “OF COURSE IT IS HAPPENING INSIDE YOUR HEAD, HARRY, BUT WHY ON EARTH SHOULD THAT MEAN THAT IT IS NOT REAL?”: Cancer, Libra
  • “You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it.” : Pisces
  • "However, this mirror will give us neither knowledge or truth. Men have wasted away before it, entranced by what they have seen, or been driven mad, not knowing if what it shows is real or even possible.": - Neptune, Pisces
  • "Let us step into the night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure.”: Sagittarius
  • "Harry, suffering like this proves you are still a man! This pain is part of being human … the fact that you can feel pain like this is your greatest strength.": - Capricorn
  • "Things we lose have a way of coming back to us in the end, if not always in the way we expect.": - Taurus
  • "I don’t go looking for trouble. Trouble usually finds me.": - Aquarius
  • "You are protected in short by your ability to love": Leo
  • "The mind is not a book to be opened at will and examined at leisure": Virgo
  • J.K Rowling

From the 5th panel of the previous post:

G: WTF PR*CK?! What do y… Woah woah wait. What am I seeing here? Am I seeing Mr. State-of-the-phckin-art…. NERVOUS????
9: …No.
G: You’re blushing *sshole. And your LED is a phckin show.
9: ……
G: *wraps legs* This is gonna be fun



- Blushing Nines for a change 😆 Also this time his blush is pink. Cyberlife made some improvements there.
- Gavin is 36 yo and Nines is…like not even 1 year old since activated? So I thought at the possibility of Gavin being the one teaching?guiding? Nines through his first steps on discovering what ‘pleasure’ is?  Nines knows everything only theoretically so… 🤔
- And Nines is a fast learner. A REAL FAST ONE.
I can already see Gavin walking funny in the precinct and Tina giving him knowing looks and making fun of it.

Watching other youtubers actually makes me appreciate Jack even more… Like someone just pulled out the 1mill plate like “I’ve been trying to reach a million for a while and I did this myself! This is the proof that if you work hard enough you can achieve your dreams!

And like, as much as I appreciate the “positive” part at the end? No man, it’s not a million dollars you just earned, it’s real human beings who decided to subscribe to you. Sure, creating content is what made them want to stick around, but if they didn’t you wouldn’t have your “pretty number” to brag about… Gaining a following is never only the creator’s work, it’s just as much the followers’ generosity(?) and their kindness. 

And I can’t stress enough how amazing it is that Jack never forgot that and remained such a caring and a humble person.

2

Alright this is really stupid. 

In the original series, Ryuk is a Shinigami who’s bored. He’s in the human world cuz he has nothing better to do. he’s not so much evil as a chaotic neutral. He wanted to see what a human would do with a notebook that kills people. 

He could kill people if he chose to, but it’s not like he was being malicious. It’s his job, he’s a Shinigami. 

He’s a monster, but the real monster is the human. 

Light Yagami. 

The fact that Ryuk was frightening in appearance was something of a fakeout, because he’s an observer, not the main evil or anything. 

NOT some mean-spirited babadook-type demon that’s whispering into the human ear, always trying to convince people to do evil. 

He SOUNDS like the green goblin, actually, which is just really stupid. 

Because it makes him sound like he’s the one pressuring Light to turn to the dark side, or some shit. 

I really don’t like this story change.

It just undermines the fact that Light was the true evil.

He was never pressured to do what he did in the original series. HE CHOSE to because he was a crazy megalomaniac. 

This makes it look like this demon is the antagonist, you know?

Like he says, “you don’t have to use it, but I’m going to give it to someone else in 7 days.”

They made it seem like Ryuk’s notebook had to be “passed along” like that stupid fucking box in Wish Upon, you know?

Like “He who wields the Death Note is going to die…and then I’ll find another person to curse with it!”

But in the original it’s literally just a book. You could use it or not. Ryuk didn’t care, he’d still get his souls eventually. 

I think Netflix was trying to make Ryuk look like the typical scary demon. Like one of the many generic demons they have in their horror movie section. 

They wanted Death Note to be like a horror movie, hence the Final Destination deaths instead of the boring, mundane “heart attacks.” 

Hence the stupid scene in the abandoned orphanage, where L’s name was. 

And by doing so…they’ve essentially abandoned the more cerebral, high-minded nature of the original Death Note. 

They decided “hey, let’s make something terrifying and ominous” instead of making it about a battle of wits, a suspenseful detective kind of drama. 

Where you get to see the serial killer and detective play a dangerous dance of sorts. 

Instead you get…gory deaths. 

Final Destination deaths. 

Hence why Light is in HIGH SCHOOL, not college.

Because he can be the victim of childish school bullying, for one thing.

But also because high school puts you at that high-emotional period of your life where injustice feels much more dramatic and personal than the deadened college student feels. 

And in general,horror movies like high schoolers.

Like their vulnerability. And the angst gold mine. 

Light is doing other people’s homework for them. 

He’s a “troubled” youth who’s angry at the world. His mom died to a criminal who’s going to get off with connections and money. His dad is “weak.” He has an edgy girlfriend who “understands” him. 

But what’s dumb about that is that the original Light Yagami was highly educated. He didn’t panic or get furious that often. He was an evil mastermind with lofty aspirations and condescending arrogance that lead to him trying to make himself the “god” of a new world. He didn’t care about his girlfriend. He was calm and collected and ready for the challenge of outwitting L.

He did NOT start crying and panicking the second L was on his tail. 

Him being a college student was an important part of that. It made him more mature, more ready to be an “adult.”

Light being a teenager just makes him look like a dumb kid being tricked by an evil demon. 

Edit: I don’t know why I thought light was a college student in the original. I guess he just seemed like one and Japanese high schools are just much cleaner and better taken care of, so it looked like it…my bad. But my opinion still stands. Light wasn’t a bullied edgy teen. He was arrogant and intelligent. Not pouty.

Another edit: Also, the fucking prom scene and the “romantic” ferris wheel? They were trying to make him look like an “Average teenage boy” who accidentally fell into the wrong crowd, the demonic crowd lmao, and was bullied into doing “bad things” and manipulated by his girlfriend. 

It was lazy. 

A lazy way of making Death Note look like a horror movie.

Shame on you netflix. 

anonymous asked:

What about an octopus mermaid, though?

Originally posted by disneyox1-blog

Cecaelia is the name often given to half-human, half-octopus creatures, though they may also be refereed to as octofolk.

Be very careful searching for images of this species because frankly a creature that is a beautiful human on the top half and gratuitous amounts of tentacles on the bottom half inspires a particular type of art from the internet.

Octopi, and cephalopods in general, have a number of abilities that make them interesting from a fiction or monster perspective.

  • Known to be highly intelligent
  • Willing to leave water
  • Associate with ocean floor, shallows, reefs and shorelines
  • Can change color
  • Masterful mimicry
  • Ink squirting
  • Carnivores

So you have a highly intelligent carnivore, master of disguise, that for some reason looks human on the top half.

Why on ‘Earth’ does this creature resemble a human?

Here is a simple octopus anatomy diagram for your consideration:

(Image Source)

The octopus has no bones, but related species such as the squid and cuttlefish do have an internal shell, which serves a similar function. The Cecalia may have this sort of modified internal shell instead of a skeleton. This internal shell would allow the torso to be held upright, and additional internal shells may also allow the limb to move like a human.

However, this seems too simple to me. In the octopus and its tentacled friends, the mouth is located between the tentacles, and the eyes just above it. You are rearranging a lot of anatomy to move the eyes and mouth far away from their original position onto a humanoid torso, while presumably leaving the anus out of sight where it belongs.

That’s a bit… suspiciously simple.

Then a far more interesting possibility occurred.

The octopus is a master of mimicry.

Originally posted by breathinginbiology

What if the top half of the Cecalia is merely an imitation of a human torso?

I wouldn’t put it past a highly intelligent carnivore to mimic the upper half of an attractive human, especially if they have a culture that values shiny things you simply can’t mine under the ocean (gold and other loot)

It’s entirely plausible that the mouth of a Cecalia is still located between the tentacles like a regular octopus, with the real eyes just above the tentacles, but the ‘head’ of the octopus being reshaped to mimic a human. They may then attempt to lure humans into shallow waters to prey upon them.

The implications of such anatomy, where the humanoid torso is essentially an excellent mimicry, are:

  • The humanoid segment can resemble any humanoid, and can change
  • Different individual Cecalia could imitate the same humanoid at different times
  • A bold adventurer could ‘decapitate’ the humanoid torso and only seriously wound the octofolk.
  • Any voice the creature has is likely to emanate from its tentacle region.
  • They may leave the water for a short period of time but will always try to return there for a confrontation.
  • Octopi produce ink and have excellent vision. They are highly likely to be artistic.
  • But they have a completely different evolutionary pathway to humans and are unlikely to share the same goals, motivations to aesthetics.
  • If they have perfected the art of mimicking humans then they likely spend a significant portion of their time either preying on or scavenging from them.
  • Octopus eggs are cared for in batched of hundreds or thousands, and the newly hatched octopi are tiny when they emerge. Imagine all these tiny creatures innately trying to mimic humans but not quite getting it right. Nightmares, anyone?

So as far as an octopus mermaid goes, yes they probably would lure men onto the rocks, they probably would appear beautiful, they might not sing, but they are most definitely dangerous.

This post is brought to you by my supporters on Patreon. Pledge your support from as little as $1 a month and vote on the next species for a fantasy biology analysis.

anonymous asked:

Any advice on how to write a heist story something like oceans Eleven?

Well, you can start by watching Ocean’s Eleven, and Ocean’s Eleven, and then Leverage, and then Burn Notice, and then The A-Team, and then Mission: Impossible, and then all the other heist stories like The Italian Job or Heat. Watch, read, uncover as many stories about criminals as you can from fiction to nonfiction to reading security analyst blogs. Read the spy memoirs, the thief memoirs, the fake ones and the real ones. Check out magicians, hypnotists, card tricks, and sleight of hand. Watch the making ofs and director’s commentaries looking for clues behind the thought process of these stories. The hows and the whys as you look into the research they did. Burn Notice, for example, is famous for using stunt props and technological rigs that work in real life. Like using cell phones to create cheap bugs on the go.

The worlds of criminal fiction and spy fiction rely on being able to present (or convincingly fake) a world which feels real. A heist is all about exploitation. So, you need a world with security structures to exploit. You’ve got to know how things work before you can craft a way to break them. Social engineering, hacking, and every other criminal skill is about breaking the systems in place. So, you’ve got to get a baseline for how law enforcement and security analysts work. What security systems are set up to look like. The ways we go about discouraging thieves. Better yet how people behave. Real, honest to god human behavior.

So, you know, pick somewhere in order to start your research. Get an idea of what you want write about stealing, then learn everything about the object, the museum, the city, the country, and its customs as you can.

If you’re setting a heist in a futuristic or fantasy setting then luck you, you get to make all of it up.

Learning the plot structure and conventions of the heist genre is the first step. This means watching lots and lots of heist movies, shows, and reading books. Over time, as you become better at critical analysis, you’ll begin to see specific story structures and character archetypes emerge.

The Heist Story is a genre. Like every other genre, it comes with its own structure, cliches, archetypes, plots, and genre conventions which necessitate the narrative. The better grasp you have of those, the better you’ll be at writing a heist.

For example, a heist story like Ocean’s Eleven relies on a collection of thieves rather than a single individual. The character types are as follows:

The Pointman - Your planner, strategist, team leader, and the Jack of All Trades. Can also be called the Mastermind. They’re the one who can take the place of anyone on the team should they fall through. They’re not as good as a specialist, but they’re very flexible. Narratively, he plans the cons and subs in where he’s needed.

The Faceman - Your experienced Grifter, here for all your social engineering needs. These guys talk their way in.

The Infiltrator - Your cat burglar or break-in artist. Basically, the conventional genre thief. Your Parker, Catwoman, Sam Fisher, or Solid Snake. The stealth bastards, they’re all about silent in, out, and playing acrobatic games with the lasers.

The Hacker - The electronics and demolitions specialist. Usually this is the guy in the van overseeing stuff remotely. Your Eye in the Sky. Their skill set can be split up and swapped around as necessary.

The Muscle - The one who is good at fighting. They’re combat focused characters, usually with mercenary and special forces backgrounds. Though, that’s optional.

The Wheelman - The one who handles the getaway. They’re your often overlooked transport specialists. It’s not just that they can drive, they’re skilled at getting lots of people around, figuring out how to move your valuables, and exiting hostile cities or countries undetected. They get the team in and they get them out.

For an example of these archetypes, I’m going to use Leverage. Nathan Ford, The Pointman (technically, he’s written like a Faceman). Sophie Devereaux , The Faceman. Parker, the Infiltrator. Hardison, the Hacker. Eliot, the Muscle. They all take turns being the Wheelman.

Other examples like Burn Notice: Michael Westen, the Pointman. Sam Axe, the Faceman. Fiona, the Muscle. They all take turns with explosives, Michael will invariably take all the roles during the course of the show.

Ocean’s Eleven has multiple variants of these archetypes, all broken down and mixed up.

You can mix and match these qualities into different individuals or break them apart like in Ocean’s Eleven, and more than one character can fill more than one role, but that’s the basic breakdown. For example, your hacker doesn’t need to be a guy in a van overlooking the whole security grid. One guy or girl with a cell phone can sit in the lobby of a building with an unsecured wireless network and crack the security. Welcome to the 21st century. The skills don’t necessarily need to take the specific expected shape.

What you do need is the basic breakdown:  You need someone to plan the con, you need someone to be your face or grifter, you need someone to break in, you need someone to watch the security/electronics, you need muscle to back you up, and someone’s got to cover the getaway.

These shift depending on your plan, but this is the expected lineup for a heist narrative. The first step of a heist narrative is not the plan because we don’t have one yet. We’ve got an idea. Pick your target. Maybe it’s a famous painting. Maybe it’s a casino. Maybe it’s a rare artifact from a private investor’s collection loaned to a museum for a short period of time. Maybe it’s art stolen by the Nazis during WWII. Whatever it is, figure it out.

The next step is simple. If you want the thing, you’ve got to find a way to get it. This is a big job, your standard thief won’t be able to pull it off alone. So, you gotta go recruiting. Get your team together. Make sure to establish the goals of the different members for joining. Who they are. Their pedigree. One might be an old flame or an old enemy. This is where we lay out some character driven subplots.

When everyone’s together, we’ve got to lay out the plan. Before we have a plan though, we need to establish where the object is and the issues in getting it. Why this has never been done before. So, what are the challenges? Invariably, an object worth a great deal of money will have a lot of security protecting it. Figure out what that security is, who the item belongs to, what sort of retribution do the thieves face beyond what they might expect. Lasers, pressure plates, cameras, security, other career criminals, mob bosses, the rich and powerful, whatever.

After that: How do you get it? Then you’ve got to plan the con, while taking everything into account.

Then, We prep the Con. There will be steps to take before the con can be put into place, your characters taking their positions in plain sight. Stealing whatever pieces you need to make it work. Casing the joint. Etc.

Then: Run the Con. This is the part with the actual stealing. Better known as the first attempt. Things go well, there may be a few mistakes, but things are going well and then we…

Encounter Resistance. While running the con, something goes wrong, pieces fall apart, the thieves come close to success but the object gets moved and they suddenly need a new plan. New information may pop up, it may be one of your artists was running a con of their own separate from the rest. If there’s a double cross in the works then this may be when and where it lands.

We’re ready now, so it’s time hit up: Steal the Thing, Round Two. Your characters put their new plan into play and get about thieving the object of their desire.

Lastly: The Get Away. This is the part where your thieves make for the hills with their stolen treasure. This can be short or long depending on the kind of story you’re telling and other double crosses may occur here. It could be the end of the story or the beginning of a new heist.

Heist stories are like mystery novels. They’re all about sleight of hand and misdirection. You’ve got to keep just enough information on the table to keep your audience on the hook, and just enough information off the table to surprise them later on the twist. Yet, when they go back to re-read the novel again, they’ll find the answer was there all along. They just didn’t see it coming.

If anything, learning how to write a well-done heist or a mystery or any kind of novel in this genre will teach you a lot about how to manage your foreshadowing and create superb plot twists. Like any good con, you need to lay out all the conflicting pieces where people can see them, let them draw their own conclusions, withhold the critical context, and then hit them with the whammy.

Like lots of audiences, new writers (and even some old ones) can get distracted by the shock and awe. They see they’re impressed by the conclusion, not the lay-up. If you want to write any kind of fiction, you need to learn to see past the curtain and pay attention to the critical pieces leading into an important moment rather than the moment itself.

Good writing isn’t modular, you can’t just strip out pieces and run with them because you’ll end up missing the crucial, sometimes innocuous pieces that ensured the scene worked. Like the Victorian Hand Touch, every moment between the two leads and most of their scenes with secondary players are working for that singular instance of eventual, gleeful catharsis.

If you’ve got a plot twist coming in your novel, every sentence from the second you start writing is working towards it. You start laying out your pieces, funneling in your tricks, and playing with misdirection. You may have multiple twists, to cover yourself, divert your audience, congratulate them for successfully guessing your ploy, and reassure their initial suspicions before catching them again on the upswing.

The clever writer is as much a con artist as their characters. The only difference is the target of their con is their audience. The tricks in their bag are narrative ones, and they work with the understanding that it doesn’t matter if someone guesses the end so long as they’re entertained by the journey. A great story stays entertaining long after the audience has figured out all the twists.

So, don’t get caught up in Red Herrings and frightened about not being able to outsmart other people. Tell a good story with conviction and heart about a bunch of crooks out to steal their heart’s desire.

That’s all there is to it.

-Michi

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anonymous asked:

What are your thoughts on Kris????!! I like them already!!! Though i think they're aren't as kind as frisk is or some other characters. But they still aren't like Chara either. Many monsters that knew Kris in some way said that they were kind of creepy and that they made a lot of mean pranks. They also seemed lonely. But that's only interesting and i hope we'll get to know them better in the next chapter. Also what do u think about the ending??

oh boy you opened the gates

random kris thoughts:

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Wait, are you no longer an inclusionist?

1) I think that, while it may not manifest as structural oppression on the same level as homophobia or transphobia, our society does look down on and mistreat aro and ace people (particularly aro women and ace men, due to the gendered expectations around capital-r Relationships), and to deny this is at best silly and at worst an act that actively makes things harder for people for effectively no reason.

2) by God’s name I am so fucking tired of this discourse I’m not an “inclusionist” or an “exclusionist” and have not meaningfully been either for as long as I remember, because building an identity based on one’s terrible opinion of a stupid, pointless argument that literally only exists because people are obsessed with the idea of what counts as “inherently LGBT” - as if that’s a meaningful statement given that “LGBT” is literally a coalition of 3-4 distinct groups, and one which only exists as it does today because of how the historical dominoes fell - instead of the actual hows and whys of human suffering in our society. 

i will never be “an inclusionist.” i will never be “an exclusionist.” what i am is someone who thinks that the entire debate is a distraction from (or, arguably, substitute for) meaningful discussion, healing, and praxis; that half this Godforsaken website has turned into even more of a cesspit because of it; and that everyone should stop trying to score fucking points based on OH THOSE DAMN ALLOS SAID SOME UNINFORMED BULLSHIT AGAIN or HA HA HA LOOK AT THIS INCREDIBLY OBVIOUS TROLL BLOG, LET’S ACT LIKE IT’S FOR REAL BECAUSE THAT’S EASIER THAN CONSIDERING THAT OTHERS ARE HUMAN BEINGS AND NOT PERPETUAL OUTRAGE GENERATION MACHINES.

Sorry to be rude about it but I am just so, so, so, so very tired of having this foolishness anywhere near me. I don’t care and beyond the concept of “don’t be an asshole to people just because they’re going through some shit and trying to make sense of it,” which I would hope is basic human decency, neither should you.

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I have no sense of being famous - you’re just working. And then you’ll have a random day in London when you’ll do some press and it creeps into your awareness that this goes out - that what you do every day goes out to televisions right across the country.” - Karen Gillan

literally the only way to tell the difference between people who like Kylo Ren and people who hate Kylo Ren is whether or not they’re genuinely having fun pointing out that he’s a tire fire of a human being

this website is absolute fucking shit like not to generalize Obviously but watching a victim of a school shooting get told that their friends deserved to die because they engage in ace discourse sometimes like..i literally jus remembered when some idiot tried to call out leelah alcorn posthumorously because she had one post on her archived blog about not really understanding what kin meant 😩 there are some real unfeeling monsters on this website who have no friends and dont understand how to empathize with actual human beings outside of any tumblr context where their Knowledge on the complexities of the ace (inherently gay somehow) identity grants them some kind of arbitrary leverage