is this your idea of a joke

GUILLERMO DEL TORO STOLE MY IDEA

Hi, so, somehow I had managed to avoid seeing the trailer for The Shape of Water until today, and while I knew it was about a tender romance between woman and fish, I did NOT realize the woman in question only spoke in sign language. This is simply way too close to a short story I have been working on sporadically since March 2016 with the joke title of ‘Merhands.’ Key differences are:

a. the main character in my story is actually deaf

b. homosexuality

In any case I can never prove that Del Toro hacked into my google docs and stole my IP, and I probably won’t ever finish and release it due to the fear of it being forever known as ‘Lesbian Shape of Water,’ so I am just going to put up what I had already written here for all to see.

CLICK HERE TO EXAMINE THE STORY IN QUESTION

*Sadly I had not yet gotten to any lesbian bits; as I said I worked on it VERY sporadically. But fun fact the mermaid’s lower half was partially based on seahorse anatomy for all you perverts.

**I am not actually mad at Guillermo Del Toro because I am sure there are hundreds upon hundreds of mute-woman-desperately-falls-in-love-with-swamp-monster stories out there, I just figured if I was never gonna finish this I might as well share it.

EDIT: Since it was apparently not clear enough that this was a joke, THIS IS A  JOKE  based on the similarity of my story with The Shape of Water, I don’t actually think the man hacked into my account and stole my goofy mermaid story, please stop sending me asks in defense of Guillermo Del Toro he is fine and I am fine

How will ES characters react when hearing the news that MC is pregnant?

Sean: *lifts MC up and twirls her around* Congratulations MC! You’re going to be an amazing mother!

Quinn: Oh my! Little MC is going to be super cute! Do you know what the baby’s gender is? Oh my god, I have lots of ideas for the baby!

Jake: Pregnant huh? That kid is so lucky. A little prince or princess swimming around in your tummy. Noice.

Estela: I will protect this child with everything I’ve got.

Diego: You’re pregnant?? I will spoil the hell out of this kid and love him till I die!

Michelle: I’ll be in charge of a baby shower and I don’t care if you won’t come but your womb has to be there, ok?

Grace: Congratulations! *runs inside and comes back with a big ass book* I have this baby book of names. It has the most popular names and it’s meanings. I can help you pick a name if you want.

Aleister: Yet another addition to our little group. I can tell you this though. I’ve heard pregnancies can be hard and giving birth is excruciatingly painful. Are you sure you want to get through with this?

Zahra: A baby huh? *walks away*

Craig: *bends down and talks to MC’s tummy* Little bro!

Raj: Doodlejumps! That’s so cool! A new dude! Or dudette! I’ll throw amazing parties for this doodlejump!

Lila: *stops herself from pushing MC down the stairs* I’m happy for you MC. *smiles and walks away*

your fav is problematic: will roland edition

- I honestly have no idea if what comes out of his mouth anymore is a joke or not

- holds himself on such a high pedastool yet still stays humble like what??? how???

- but also makes self-deprecating jokes like no bby only happy thoughts :(((

- is basically irl jared kleinman and idk if that’s a bad thing or not

- reminds me of a pinto bean

- an amazing actor and singer but doesn’t get recognized for it >:(((

- loves bowling more than life

- dramatic but not too dramatic if you get my jist

- a strong independent (wo)man (either works because he pulled that dress and heels better than I ever could)

- doesn’t fight for the appreciation he deserves >:((((((((((

meowdoglover  asked:

Hahaha, I know I already sent you guys some, but I'm tired and still have another class to go to so yeah, you guys cheer me up and give me motivation! May I please ask how the 1ps meeting usually goes? I love your 2p one!<3

Awww yeah, let’s hope this cheers you up! -Admins Sarah and Jay


America: “DUDES! Ugh…nevermind…”
Alfred would be talking and trying to get his ideas across, but since no one really takes him seriously he would just sigh and sit down. If he isn’t trying to talk and get his point across he would be on his phone looking at anything to get his mind off the meeting. Maybe texting Matthew or sending him jokes as he browses the internet or plays games on his apps. Mostly he would be counting down the minutes until he can get away from everyone.

England: “Listen up you bloody idiots!”
Arthur would be yelling at Alfred to pay attention or have serious ideas, arguing with Francis and just exasperating himself. He would be so tired from yelling that he would hardly be paying attention to anything else. After a while, he would just huff and sit down as he checks the clock for how soon he can leave. He would just be tired and need time alone to recharge and relax so he doesn’t bite someone’s head off. Mainly Francis.

France: “Hm? Oh no, I am listening..sort of.”
Francis would occasionally listen to what was going on in the meetings. Though, much of his commentary would come from him randomly joining in on the conversation to add something that he thought, or arguing with Arthur or Alfred. Sometimes when the topics would bore him he would use his phone under the table, probably on Instagram trying to decide what filter looked best with his latest picture, or drawing crude drawings over pictures of Arthur.

Canada: “Excuse me-!…What about-…okay…”
Matthew would be used to being talked over, ignored, cut off, all of it. He would try to talk when it applied to him, or he had something useful to say, though sometimes they wouldn’t hear him or they would brush off his comments. Whenever he would just sit there he would probably doodle on the side of his papers, or be throwing paper balls at Alfred when Alfred wasn’t looking, chuckling as he watches him look around frantically.

Russia: “Are we ready to do the arguing?”
Ivan would walk into the meeting room ready to fight, and I don’t mean he walks in looking to pick a fight with someone (*cough* Alfred…*cough cough* Arthur..), but, he is always ready to deal with the arguing that surrounds them in the meeting room. It would remind him of home! Whenever he would get bored or need a break, he would most likely knit under the table, after all, he may need a new scarf! (that is actually a head-canon, look it up!)

China: “You all are so dumb. I’m done.”
Yao is the oldest and therefore has the least amount of patience with the others. He would be trying to get his ideas across and if the others weren’t listening or too busy arguing, he would just shake his head and yell at them…or hit them with his wok, you know, whatever happens first. But Yao would just look at them all and get a little sad that they couldn’t work together. 

It was brushed aside to us prior, almost no one had believed that a literal zombie attack would even be possible! The first few sightings and call-ins were taken as a joke, but soon after it began to become evident that this is definitely not a joke and that our beloved town was in for the ride of its life.

Keep reading

I have a really dumb headcanon (or AU?) where the Final Pam was like…. an inside joke between Lup and Taako that they developed sometime in their teens and Lup and Taako constantly do “Final Pam” impersonations at each other and they think it’s the funniest fucking thing but no one else has any fuckign idea why these two are talking in this strong accent and saying dumb things at each other

like

(after recking shit in a particularly blood-thirsty and cruel cycle)
Lup: I DO THIS
Lup, admiring the wreckage: You remember how your go your backyard barbecue, the Smiths
Lup: PRETTY GOOD IT DOESN’T SEEM
Lup: I TELL LITTLE JOKE
Taako: NEXT TIME YOU INVITE PAM

Lup, goofing around with a deactivated robot: Hello metal husband
Lup: Do not tell Trash Hulk about our-
Barry, completely oblivious: Hey guys, what’s up? :)
Taako: (ABSOLUTELY FUCKING LOSES IT)

Lup to Barry at any given moment: Stay safe honey. Many robo kisses in future Yes
Barry, crying: Please I don’t understand

Angus: Hey Magnus, I’m feeling a bit hungry
Taako from the other room: BABY NEED SNACK

this is really dumb but this is really funny to me and i stand by it

bonus:

Lup: Shit, has anyone seen Davenport anywhere?
Taako: Nobody move! I’ve lost both a contact lens and our captain 

anonymous asked:

People always joke about taking both the red and blue pills from 'The Matrix'. But the blue pill apparently wipes your memory of meeting the people outside the matrix, while the red pill ejects you from the matrix. So wouldn't taking both just end up with you kicked out of the matrix butt-ass nude with no idea what the fuck was going on?

thats me when i wake up every goddamn day

the signs as friends

aries: they will be direct about how they like you, but they’ll roast you to compensate. “i love you…. you dumbass.” when you first befriend them, their humor may come across as bold or inappropriate. the future of your friendship essentially depends on if you laugh or find it stupid. and if you do laugh, there will be plenty more where that came from. but when you need help, their serious, emotional side will emerge to support you.

taurus: taurus can be moderately social and gets along with many, but you will know if you are one of their close friends. they will find activities you both enjoy to spend time together. hell, they’ll even find activities only you like and take an interest to make you happy. they listen to your stories, even if they see pointless or silly and give sound advice any hour of the day.

gemini: gemini wants a friend who isn’t afraid to get in trouble or try new things. they’re the friend who always has something for the two of you to do, as long as you’re game. while they’re not much for staying in or having a quiet night, outings with gemini are often memorable and worth the trip. though at the end of the day, they’re willing to slow down and make sure you’re doing well. their advice may not be the most logical, but they know how to cater to your emotions and cheer you up.

cancer: you know you’re a cancer’s friend when you share a hoard of inside jokes. if they care about you, they tend to remember little details about you that you may not remember telling them. cancer and their friends will share sarcastic banter and teasing jokes. until the day you’re upset-then they’ll put their usual antics aside and be there for you. cancer is sensitive and will detect your true feelings, especially if you are close.

leo: leo loves a spontaneous friend, like gemini. friendship with a leo likely involves many fun outings. these probably include activities you would’ve never found had it not been for them. that being said, leo is often content to sit and talk for ages when you have a connection. just be sure to remind them of their importance to you, and they will be a generous, long term friend.

virgo: once you are close, virgo may take on the role of mom friend. they will joke with you, but also look out for you. whether you are hurt physically or emotionally, virgo will be there, often with verbal support. at times, they may seem like a lecturing elder, but it’s only because they care. you may have to encourage them to relax once in a while, but once they do, they are just as fun as anyone else.

libra: libra often take a liking to many people, though from afar. if you approach them first, you’re likely to get a friendly response. if you’re close friends, a libra will be grateful to have someone to open up to and laugh with. they can become someone to count on and share ideas with, no matter how silly your thoughts may seem. they are also genuine, kind listeners. as long as you give them the same in return, libra will be a sweet, caring best friend.

scorpio: scorpio needs a friend who probably likes them more than vice versa- at least at first. their sense of humor can be similar to that of aries, though they may continue to tell their brand of jokes even if you don’t like them. they are unabashedly themselves, and they need a friend who accepts that. and if you do, scorpio may view you as one of their closest companions. scorpio develops a deep love for their friends and would defend them in a heartbeat.

sagittarius: sagittarius often attracts friends rather than approaches them. potential friends may admire their sense of humor or independent spirit. though they seem independent, they always have room for friends in their life. they may not verbally communicate their appreciation often, but you will notice it through their texts or time spent together. if a sagittarius wants to befriend you, they may compliment you, or even seem jealous at first. (take this as a compliment too, and return the gesture. soon, you’ll get along just fine).

capricorn: this sign has two levels of friendship. you are either an acquaintance, or a treasure in their life. capricorn may seem to use friendliness as a means of social climbing, but when a friendship is real, they will give you all they have. this is why they usually only have a few close friends. if a capricorn shares a secret with you or looks to you for advice, it means you’re definitely doing something right. if you are a capricorn’s best friend, they may not say it, but rather show how deeply they care for you through gestures.

aquarius: aquarius probably considers anyone who hasn’t overtly offended them as their friend. that being said, there is a difference between their friends and the people they spend time thinking about. to be an aquarian’s close friend means being someone they may secretly admire. they love someone that can impress them in some way, but they are not superficial. their best friend must be able to support them in their vulnerable times, as rare as they may seem. in return, you will have an unconditional friend.

pisces: again, a sign that seems to love everyone. pisces is like a puppy that just wants some time with everyone around them. if you are on a deeper level with pisces, they will always be sure to let you know they love you, oftentimes verbally. they may be tactile and enjoy hugs/hand holding etc more than the other signs. a pisces friend is a friend for life, even if you do not speak for a while. they will remember your connection, though be sure not to take advantage of this and please remind them how you love them too.

Inevitable

An Alpha!Bucky One-Shot

Character Pairing: Alpha!Bucky Barnes x Omega!Reader

Word Count: 5,109 (oops!)

Warnings: NSFW 18+ EXPLICIT Smut! A/B/O Dynamics, fingering, sexual penetration, slight(?) impregnation kink, unprotected sex, a NSFW gif, some angst (blink and you miss it), language, dirty talk…

A/N: I make my own rules. 

 You smelt him before you saw him.

Your senses came alive when you saw him walk through the main entrance.

Alpha.

He exuded the title perfectly.

This isn’t the first time you had seen him at the museum but this was the closest you had ever gotten to him. He was at the ticket counter, smiling at Mandy as he presented his membership card. The leather jacket he had on moved like soft butter as he put the card in his wallet before it went back into the side pocket.  

Catching a whiff of his scent in the air, you wanted to melt to the floor. Sandalwood. It was earthy and it warmed your whole body.

You could make out his voice from where you were hiding in the gift shop. It was deep and raspy as he talked to Mandy. He took off his baseball hat and ran his fingers through his thick brown hair. He stuffed the hat into the back pocket of his jeans as he laughed at something Mandy had said.

Damn her. You were jealous.

Keep reading

Y’all need to be fucking better about the way you interact with young artists on here. And don’t you dare see this and think “oh I’m a minor so this post isn’t for me” cause you know damn well half the inappropriate asks artists get are from other young people. Think of all the kids who were contacting the creators of BMC and asking sexual questions about the characters. Think of how many asks you see popular artists get with sex jokes and talking about which of the characters they draw are bottoms, and how often you see them have to post asking their followers to stop, and remember that most of the people in our communities are minors. 
We constantly post about how the adults on tumblr need to be careful with the way they interact with minors, and they do, but i can say from experience that more often than not they’re not the one trying to discuss inappropriate things with random people they’ve never spoken to. Being around someone’s age doesn’t give you a pass to make them uncomfortable. 

I’m so tired of hearing my underage friends complain about all the inappropriate asks they get, even after saying time and again they want people to stop. It’s not fair to them at all. Have respect for the people you follow, they aren’t your friends, you don’t know them, sending them asks about this kind of stuff is so uncool and uncalled for. 

And hell, this doesn’t even apply to underage artists. There is no reason for you to send unprompted inappropriate asks to people you follow, no matter their age. You have no idea how they feel about what you’re saying, if they’ve had uncomfortable experiences. You don’t magically become chill with sex jokes and talking about character’s sexual lives because you turned 18. Just show people the respect they deserve??

2

And here we have it! Not that happy with it but…HEYWHATEVS!

So that thought I made about them being hosts on Splatfest… my god… I just had to come up with themes. So here’s what I came up with!

  • Good vs. Evil ( Or Naughty vs. Nice, which was done in the original Splatoon.) 
  • Winter vs. Summer (I think Black Hat would prefer cold weather while White Hat loves hot weather)
  • Paperhats vs. Papercrowns (Just your normal innocent theme while becoming an inside joke at the same time loooool)
  • Piano vs. Violin (Black Hat would like pianos while White Hat would prefer violins)

Pitch in if you have any ideas of your own you would like to share or pick a side lmao.

David was lying in “Jasper Dies At The End”

So it’s general assumption that the story David told in “Jasper Dies At The End” was a complete lie and, not gonna lie? There is SO MUCH evidence for this.

Take note of how everything is oddly exaggerated and unnatural in the story

The way the counselors say “Oh no! Not Davey!” “He’s such a troublemaker!” sounds very. Exaggerated. Like they’re reacting to a Saturday Morning Cartoon villain. 

David’s “trouble making” actions are also the sort of things David would see as problems. Insulting nature, using words like “dang”, littering, etc. 
Plus the way one of the current counselors says ”Oh Davey! You have so much potential! If only you would apply yourself!”
It REALLY sounds like David is trying to make an impression on Max, or send him some sort of message.

Take David’s childhood actions versus Max’s.
David says dang, litters, and insults nature
Max swears like a sailor, literally starts a camp revolt, and tries to run away a lot.
These sort of things would fly over David’s head and just come off as a grumpy kid who hates nature,

But David’s behavior isn’t the only thing he lied about. I think he also lied about how Jasper died.

The scars on his chest from the bear attack are parallel to a few scratches from the photo in episode 11. Not to mention how as a ghost, whenever he’s scared Jasper tends to cover up his chest:

These wounds were left open for the entire night, there’s NO WAY Jasper would’ve survived that. Either Jasper had died in the bear cave, or on his way back to the camp.
Additionally, according to David’s story that picture in episode 11 would not be accurate. If David really WAS a grumpy troublesome kid, he wouldn’t be smiling in it. However if the picture was taken AFTER this event, Jasper wouldn’t be smiling because he said he thinks the camp sucks at the end of the episode.

I’m absolutely POSITIVE that David lied about this entire story. He was never a trouble maker and Jasper did NOT survive that bear attack. But why lie? Well, the kids asked why he got that medallion. 

He can’t say he doesn’t want to talk about it, that’d seem suspicious. So why not lie to protect these poor innocent children from the truth of your childhood friends gruesome death, while avoiding sounding suspicious? Maybe the truth is that medallion belong to his old friend Jasper, and he didn’t want to let it go as it serves as a reminder of their good times together.

Additional notes I didn’t have any idea where I should put this in:

-The episode title is a lie. “Jasper Dies At The End”. That doesn’t happen. Jasper in this story does not die. Just like David’s story, the title of this is a lie, and our storyteller is an unreliable narrator.
-Maybe it was just a joke but child David’s voice seriously sounds like an older man attempting to do an impression of a small boy. It could be a hint towards this just being a made up story, or I’m just over analyzing and this is just a joke for the episode. Who knows!

TL;DR: David’s story in Jasper Dies At The End was a HUGE lie and Jasper died because of the bear attack. There are multiple contradictions and oddly exaggerated points within the episode that support this.

On a part of all transgender people, I would like to say a few thing:

  1. Just because we’re friends, that doesn’t mean you have any, any, excuse to be transphobic or make transphobic jokes. Just because I like you doesn’t mean you can use me as a free pass for your disgusting jokes. I’m a transgender boy, not an emotionless robot.
  2. Transgender woman and men are more than a fetish. We are more than your fantasy. We are more than your porn preferences. We are not your sick idea of a living kink.
  3. If you’re going to write about trans people, DO YOUR FUCKING RESEARCH!!! Starting T doesn’t mean you are automatically fully biologically male. Dysphoria is fucking awful. People who are meant to support us can just make us a joke. Bullying is real and scary.
  4. Mental illness and being LGBT are not the same thing.
  5. No LGBT person in popular media represent us all. We’re all unique and different, because we’re all fucking human??
  6. No, my name is not a nickname. It is my name. Whether it is my birth name or not is irrelevant.
  7. Teachers, you can be the most supportive and amazing people ever and I’d like to take a second to thank my English teacher for being so supportive.
  8. Stop using us as jokes. Like, I really fucking hate it. Just don’t.
  9. We’re normal! We’re nothing scary, we’re not going to attack you for being cis, and we don’t want anything more than your support and love!
  10. Teach your kids or siblings or parents or whoever these rules. They’re simple, easy, and can make a trans person’s day when you follow them!

Sorry for being so angry. I’m just sick of people calling me a lesbian.

My Understanding of Dream Daddy Stans

Mat Sella

  • yalls seem pretty chill tbh
  • excellent sense of aesthetic™ and the best fanart, like wtf guys why is all the art of him so pretty

Joseph Christiansen 

  • will defend Joseph to THEIR DYING BREATH
  • the best meme generators and edit masters of the fandom

Hugo Vega

  • just v wholesome
  • all of yalls headcanons with him and the other dads and his son are too cute get out of here

Craig Cahn

  • clueless and thirsty
  • have no idea what ddadds discourse is going on, worship bro jokes, cry over muscles

Damien Bloodmarch

  • basically this emoticon (◕◡◕✿) but will fight you
  • have designated shifts for the 24-7 protection squad for the pure, can do no wrong goth dad

Robert Small

  • a sniveling mess busy wrapping robert in a blanket burrito
  • the funniest, abs-inducing short comics (like whether it’s with pineapple pizza, dragging joseph, or cryptids, they’re all so fukign hilarious)

Brian Harding

  • perched on the tree outside your house shouting “WHERE IS THE BRIAN LOVE”
  • fanart snipers: you dont see brian art often but when you do IT’S SO CUTE 

anonymous asked:

What are some ideas for sections in my bullet journal for school

Hi! Here are some:

  • pages for habit tracking: sleeping on time; chores; exercise; spending (e.g. under $10); mood; skin care routine; water intake; updated your social media; eat fruit/something healthy; complimenting someone; did an act of kindness; using a new word; did over the recommended 10,000 steps; read at least one chapter; practiced your hobby; ‘don’t break the chain’; 100 days of productivity.
  • pages to log: movie review; music reviews; book reviews; travel; dreams; future goals; expenses; gratitude log; sentence-a-day log; tv series episode tracker; weight gain/loss/maintain; follower count; savings; accomplishments; upcoming releases; self-care practice.
  • pages for fun: pen swatches; washi tape samples; doodles/sketchbook; movie tickets; flower press; photographs/polaroids; stickers; quotes; recipes; playlists; bucket list; favourite lyrics; ‘fuck it’ page (rant about things that annoy you); jokes/puns; diary; concert ticket pages; outfit inspiration/ideas; handwriting samples; six word stories; writing prompts.
  • pages of use: contact information for family/friends; birthdays; gift ideas; wishlist; important events; emails/passwords (don’t write your full passwords! just easy hints); discount codes/coupons; random reflections; self-care tips; mental health tracker.
  • pages for planning: monthly overviews; monthly goals; monthly reflections; weekly spread; weekly goals; weekly reflections; daily spread; daily goals; daily reflections; (just to clarify I wouldn’t suggest doing all of them but maybe a monthly overview + review and then weekly or daily spreads.
  • pages for students: exam dates; semester dates; semester information (e.g. course info/teacher/rooms/etc); revision checklist; homework tracker; colour code; assessment due dates; grade tracker; definitions; achievements.

Hope this gives you some ideas x

She’s Just Not That Into You » Part I (A Harry Styles Miniseries)

First and foremost, I need to dedicate this miniseries to @stylesunchained​. If it weren’t for B, this idea would’ve never come to fruition. It’s been so lovely to torture you with snippets of this story, and now it’s finally here! And yes, the whole damn thing is dedicated to you, my beautiful friend.

Secondly, I need to take the time to thank @cuddlemusclestyles​ for her knowledge of England and always answering my questions about it. I would be lost without you, for you are my own personal Google.

And, of course, thank you all for the interest you’ve expressed for this miniseries. It’s always that much more enjoyable to write when you know you’ve got people rooting for you. I hope I don’t disappoint you.

Let me know what you think! Happy reading.

Originally posted by chillhopdotcom

Keep reading

cute couple things — p.p.

summary : extended dating peter would include… ft. a bunch of random thoughts i had about peter being a cute soft boyfriend !!!

  • reads your favorite books and memorizes lines from them that he can sneak into conversations to make you smile :)
  • it’s v hard for him to not look at you when he’s with you he just always wants to be looking at your face
    • “it’s, like, really hard to stop staring at you”
    • “huh?”
    • “you’re so pretty i can’t stop looking wow”
  • lights up !!!! when you walk into a room even if he’s just seen you two minutes ago and you were only in the bathroom for like a second
  • kisses you all of your face whenever he can just infinite amounts of kisses pressed across your cheeks and your nose and your eyelids 
  • he doesn’t really do nicknames like he’s not a darling sort of person
  • if he’s gonna call you anything it’ll probably be babe/baby/pretty girl or something of that sort
  •  (i started the pretty girl trend on the low don’t @ me)
  • sometimes you call him bro and he gets so offended 
    • “listen,,, peter,,, bro,,,,”
    • y/NNNN i’m not bro!!!!!!”
    • “k bro”
    • “you’re the worst” 
  • his face resembles that of a disgruntled pouty kitten whenever you call him bro
  • in school he taps his cheek lightly while facing away from you until you give him a kiss there and does that periodically throughout the day until MJ throws a pencil at him
    • “peter enough she’s kissed you like fifty times in the past twenty minutes haven’t you had enough”
    • “it’s never enough”
  • hands down gives the best hugs ever!!!! sweetest, softest, warmest hugs that you never wanna leave and they leave you a blushy mess for hours
  • nerd who tells you that you’re prettier than any star in the sky
  • will fight for your honor even if it means getting punched in the nose by one of flash’s bigger friends because flash won’t take on peter himself
    • “fuck peter why would you even call flash a giant dick??? like i know he is one but why would you ever you know his friend is like some sort of mutant tree”
    • “he said your butt was nice i can’t just let that sort of comment slide babe it’s unacceptable”
  • always knows he can rant to you about science bc you actually listen!!! and you care!! and you ask questions and you make him SO HAPPy!!
  • asks for permission to do everything
    • “hey would it be cool if i held your hand right now”
    • “yes of course”
    • “oh awesome!”
  • you send him selfies and his replies vary but they’re usually along the lines of
    • “oh my gosh you’re so cute i’m coming over”
    • “i love you you angel let me kiss you tomorrow”
    • “wow i have a real liFE ethereal as the love of my life i love the world”
  • sends a goodnight/goodmorning text every day with each heart emoji he can find 
  • his entire recently used section is just different colored hearts and rainbows and sparkles because he uses emojis obnoxiously
  • he’s convinced that the worst thing in the world is having to leave you after a long day of hanging out on a saturday or something
  • will 10/10 complain for hours to may about going home because he’s not with you anymore and he’s clingy
  • you’re his best friend and he’s not afraid to scream about it
    • “my best friend is dating me!!!!!!! i’m so lucky i love them so much” 
    • “peter we know”
    • “well now you know just a little extra all right?”
  • wishes you were able to fall asleep in his arms more often but you’re still young and he’s like oh well we have forever to do that
  • you insult each other all the time basically but??? you both love it banter is everything
      • “penis parKER flash is clever tbh”
      • “you’re such a little shit i’m actually going to fight you”
      • “seriously i dare you put your fists up now”
  • if you post a selfie and he doesn’t like it right away you’ll text him seven times in a row hinting that he should go like and comment 
  • texts at four am about random conspiracy theories or weird facts that only you two would find interesting 
  • shoulders = pillows on the train/bus most of the time
  • he is such a slut for having his hair played with ngl
  • it makes him so happy n calm he could lie like that, with your fingers just raking through his hair, for hours on end
  • he’s never felt more at home than when you’re sitting with him at his kitchen table eating mushy mac and cheese that he tried to make himself because may wasn’t home to help him out as you playfully make fun of him for ruining pasta
  • listens to ed sheeran songs with you because he’s an ed lover honestly and every song makes him think of you
  • hand massages when you’re cramping up after long tests or in class essays that leave you super stressed n anxious (fuck u ruby thx for the idea that murdered me n my soft spirit)
  • knows how to settle you nerves better than anyone else and vice versa
  • puts his hands on your cheeks before he kisses you 
  • you always joke about spidey in class and no one gets what you’re saying but he does and freaks out
    • “that’s a sticky situation”
    • “y/n” 
    • “don’t worry i found that on the web
    • y/n
    • “do you think spiders are men
    • “oh my gOD”
  • he doesn’t care at all if you take one of his sweaters or all of his sweaters he just gives zero fucks you could take them all and he’d love you for it 
    • “here take this one too”
    • “peter i have too many and it’s almost april”
    • “but you’d look so cute in this one” then he pouts and you’re a goner
  • peter writes you tiny notes in class that are his weird thoughts and ramblings and feelings but you save them all and put them in a memory box
    • there was one and it said here’s a concept : you have a bright future ahead of you, and i’m there. i like that concept.
      • you did, too
  • watches every cheesy romantic movie on netflix with you not just because you want to, but because he does too and he can’t help it that’s just how it is 
  • matching ugly christmas sweaters at christmastime because peter parker is an annoying headass and refuseS to go anywhere without one during the holiday season and if he’s wearing one he’s making you match
  • super spidey strength allows him to give you piggy back rides all throughout manhattan when you guys head to the city 
  • makes you kiss him in the rain even though there’s water up your nose and your hair is matted to your forehead 
  • one text makes your heart go !!!!!!!!! because that’s your boy!!!!! and you love him so much because he’s a lovely beautiful person that deserves the world !!!!!
  • making out is rarely super fast n intense like it’s still intense but you go slowly and you can make out for hours without a c are in the world
  • makes sure his hair looks nice before he goes out on a date with you
  • tells you that he loves you and that he’s happy you’re a part of his life as often as he can manage 
  • just wants to love you unconditionally forever
  • texts you at 11:11 every night and says something cheesy as fuck like “you’re my wish tonight babe” or “11:11 is always for you” and sometimes he’ll @ you on snap and you’re like wow we’re That couple 
  • but honestly???? you don’t care that much he’s so cute
  • knows your order at every restaurant/fast food chain/coffee shop imaginable and if he happens to pass by a mcdonalds or dunkin donuts while he’s swinging around queens he tries to pick something up for you 
  • you love his eyes you could probably get lost in them they’re gorgeous
    • “peter your eyes are so lovely i hate you”
    • “aw i love you more babe you say the sweetest things to me”
  • you think his smile is the prettiest thing ever
  • and when his face scrunches up when he’s super happY???? amazing you kiss him immediately everywhere and he gets so flustered and he giggles and tries to squirm away but not really
  • cause he loves it
  • and he loveS YOU
  • i love my boyfriend goodnight to all

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@gameofthronesimagine: Could you do something with Harry Hook and the reader is from Auradon and is lifelong friends with Ben and she’s Tinker Bell’s daughter??


Word Count: 5251

Also, warning. I started out thinking this would be cute and fluffy. It kind of turned a little angsty.


“…What? This is a joke, right?”

You stared at Ben, trying to mask your horror with denial.

Ben – for his part – looked sheepish. “We need to mend ties with the Isle, and compromise is the best way to do that.”

“So, if Uma asked you to release Chernabog from the Isle, you’d be totally for it?”

“No, of course not–”

You rolled your eyes. “No, of course. Just the guy that tried. To. Kill. You.”

“Things are different. Uma and Harry don’t have any power in Auradon, and it’s not like I’m totally defenceless,” Ben pointed out, nodding to his two huge bodyguards stationed at the door to his office.

You briefly glanced at them, before looking back at Ben. “Anyone else. You could have released anyone else. What about that Gil guy? He sounded harmless. Or some of her pirate groupies.”

“She wanted Harry,” Ben said simply, taking a sip of his tea. “She wouldn’t budge on that.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Wow. Great compromising there.”

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