is this why my service is a nightmare

I woke up from a nightmare and Baloo thinks I need help. He keeps bringing me items.

He has brought me my bra, my wrist brace, my Nintendo DS, a pillow shaped like a bird, and some yarn.

Not sure why I needed these things but I certainly feel cheered up now.

Adult coworker: “So why does the vest make him mean?”

Me: “What?! He’s not mean?! He doesn’t have a mean bone in his body!”

Coworker: “Oh, I thought that’s why we weren’t allowed to touch him, somebody said he’d bite us if we touched him with his vest on.”

…Now I have to figure out which coworkers think my dog is mean an set them all straight.

viduligr replied to your post: *

hahah bruh… i spent last 3 days watching episodes of hells kitchen and kitchen nightmares. the number of times i say “fuck” after this, increased to using it in every fucking sentence xD he’s a terrible influence but oh boy… i so understand why he gets mad. 90% of people he’s dealing with are beyond frustrating

(( legit tho like my swearing vocab has grown 10 sizes. XD they should have quit after s15 of hell’s kitchen though. episode fucking 14 and in black jackets, and they still haven’t finished a service this season. the best cooks are found, just let this show go man. what an embarrassmentttttttt 

If Adam was made from dust,
then why didn’t he disintegrate the first time it rained?
If Eve was created from Adams rib
then why didn’t she break the moment he squeezed her?
What the fuck?
How do you make a woman out of a rib?
Even at six years old I couldn’t swallow this shit.
I used the time wasted at church services to write my own creation myths.
Back then, I couldn’t even imagine how utterly a human spirit could be destroyed.

We are all living in the mouth of the wolf.
How long will it be before he chews us up and swallows us down?

It could be that your God is an empty sky.
Closed minds and nightmares filled my childhood.
It was in that church hall,
the goosebumps shone through the opening in my shirt
where my flesh peeked out.
It could be that your god is a mirror.
It could be that you can never look, for fear of what you might find.

I remember thinking there was nothing holy about the hard wood seat beneath my ass.
No wonder so many people pray on their knees,
carpet burns are much less annoying than numb butt cheeks.

Childhood songs never fade.
My brain is half full of nursery rhymes and half full of hymns.
But my heart is full up of learning to let go,
and still too haunted to allow ghosts and spirits in.
And my lungs are still struggling to function
after breathing in so much sin.
And my liver’s aching, it spends too much time healing itself these days.

They called themselves teachers, those wise old devils.
But how do you teach love to a heart that already hates itself?
You can’t force feelings into a child, only darkness.
If the foundations are weak everything you build
is just waiting to collapse,
so you better get away before it crushes you.
That’s why everybody runs.

Teaching myself to live started with learning to lie convincingly.
The biggest lie I told began with
“everything is ok.”
Then slowly you allow tiny snippets of truth to settle back in,
slowly accepting.
But there’s nothing wrong with a little white lie from time to time.
I’m still a big fan of the word “fine.”

There’s a split in the sky the size of the Atlantic,
it’s waiting to be filled with words that fit.
There’s a split in the sky the size of the Atlantic,
and you’re sinking in, slowly.
Stop letting the world fuck with you.
Fuck with the world.
Dive right into the sky and show the world you can fucking fly.
You know all about falling, I know.
But I know nothing about catching.

They always said not to play with fire,
but sometimes you need to kiss with kerosene lips.
Sometimes you need to burn everything down to the ground
and start again.
They were wrong to warn you away from the flames.
You are a phoenix rising from the ashes,
reborn in a brand new, glorious form.

—  giraffevaderAmong
the ruins
To Make Your Heart Race - 17/?

Rating: M

MC - Also on AO3 , Tumblr Chap:  1 ,  2,  3,  4,  5,  6,  7,  8,  9,  10,  11,  12,  13,  14,  1516

Captain Swan AU

Summary: Killian “Hook” Jones is NASCAR’s bad boy, who is forced to  do some community service to clean up his act. Emma Swan is the  counselor at the local Children’s shelter who is done with men and  relationships after her latest in a long stream of nightmares.

Thanks to @spartanguard for betaing this chapter. Have I told you lately how much I LOVE you my dear??


Chapter 17


God, she felt good, as her brain started to wake, part of her wondering why it was so warm. But then the feel of pleasure shot from her core through the rest of her, and she let out a gasp, her eyes coming open as her back arched against the bed. Her surroundings clearing, but all her senses focused on the feeling between her legs.

Keep reading