Ardyn: …I want you to say why my plan that’s taken me 2000 years of life of waiting for the Chosen has failed. Again. Slow. Ravus: … Ravus: The prince was posing for his blond friend nearby the lake. Ardyn: Uh huh. Ravus: …but the Catoblepas stepped on him.
So, the campaign I’m writing and DMing currently is a homebrew about five magic users (they’re multi-classed now, so it’s less weird) who are, essentially, an anomaly containment unit. They’re fantasy Ghostbusters, p much.
Now, the premise was written before Gravity Falls introduced Ford and that whole deal, but basically, there was a portal that was leaking magic and monsters from their high fantasy world into what is, essentially, our modern day world, and it was their job to round them up and stop it.
It’s a hacky premise for a book, but a super fun fucking game to write and watch unfold.
Okay, exposition over, here are some of my favourite things I’ve forced my friends to endure:
• Hunting “Bigfoot”, who was actually a Bugbear that escaped their dimension.
• Rescuing a dragonborn prince who was being held at Area 51 by agents who thought he was an alien/reptilian Illuminati leader.
• Encountering actual aliens who gave them the technology to maintain their human disguises in exchange for their help escaping the base. (AKA, everyone complained that I made them burn spell slots on it.)
• Fighting a necromancer who ran a tourist trap that featured a petting zoo with “real life jackalopes and Fiji mermaids” made from reanimated roadkill, plus a nasty, horrible, rotting roadkill monster bossfight.
• Rescuing a tiefling who was being tortured by a deep south priest/cult leader who put her on display in an underground, evangelical sideshow. (Heavily inspired by Hellboy and the Angelville stuff in Preacher? Uhhhhhh, yes. Don’t call me out.) The Jersey Devil is actually just her wife, by the way.
• The Squonk is their companion now and they love him. No fantasy stuff. Just the actual, lumberjack lore ass Squonk, who is real and their friend and cried enough to help them put out literal hellfire.
• Zombie fight in the Monroeville Mall because I couldn’t resist.
• Confederate liches responsible for the “ghost sightings” at Gettysburg.
• Literally too much dumb shit to list. I am having so much fun trying to cram this bullshit into an actual, playable, rules-adhering D&D campaign, and I want to tell you more, but my players follow me.
Little sketch done in German classes, then colored digitally because Victuuri now owns my soul and I love them! In which I imagine they go skating on a frozen lake deep in the forest of st Petersburg while the swan lake in playing because they both adore Tchaikovski and they want to skate together on this for an exhibition one day.