is this legit though

  • Percy: i've killed almost every monster in Greek mythology. Even some gods, giants, and Titans. How hard could a baby sister be?
  • Percy, up at 3am: at least monsters had the decency to lET ME SLEEP
Underappreciated Things About A Series of Unfortunate Events

I’m rereading the series right now and I have a lot of thoughts

  • the time Lemony Snicket wanted you to never, ever do something so he typed never on one page and ever over and over on the entire next page
  • he once disguised himself as a dustpan
  • the Cafe Salmonella
  • Captain Sham because his disguise is a sham geddit
  • 667 Dark Avenue
  • not really underappreciated but “If you are allergic to a thing it’s generally not a good idea to put that thing in  your mouth, particularly if that thing is cats.”
  • describes a dark place with two solid pages of black ink
  • ““I’m your waiter, Larry,” said the Baudelaires’ waiter, Larry.”
  • Sunny once said “Busheney” to mean “You’re an evil man with no concern whatsoever for other people.” (this book came out in 2003. think about it.)
  • Lemony apparently knows Robert Frost
  • “There is a writer who, like me, is often assumed dead. His name is William Shakespeare.”
  • this isn’t within the ASOUE text but once in an interview Handler was talking about times when people have been mad about the series and this one woman took umbrage about him once saying that there are times when it’s better to lie and she was like “can you name one” and he was like “nice sweater”
  • Mr. Poe was the Vice President in Charge of Coins
  • then he was the Vice President in Charge of Orphan Affairs
  • puts so much thought into the naming relationship between the siblings and Olaf but then “his name is Dewey cuz he works in a library I’m clocking out”
  • legit though why the fuck does a count/actor have a massive fuckin tower in his suburban backyard
  • I’m pretty sure he mentions picnicking at least once in every book and just like. why. that’s a weird coincidence. someone take the poor man on a picnic.
  • also of the like three time he mentions animals living somewhere he uses the word condominium twice and just. it’s not that notable I guess but why that specific word.
  • also remember when he stopped mid sentence and was like “I’m gonna relay a fairy tale because the message I need to say is too complex to just write down” so he tells this story about some brat prince wanting diamonds for his birthday and the end is just. lions are dangerous sometimes. like. that’s it.
  •  he just fucking namedrops Mikhail Bulgakov and Haruki Murakami and just. to what end.
  • in the town infested with crows that perch on the Nevermore Tree Olaf is disguised as Detective Dupin
  • honestly the amount of literary references here are wild
  • he once wanted to illustrate deja vu so he put in the same page twice
  • the way he defines stuff
  • this is still one of the most subtly sarcastic books I’ve ever read
  • he once used littering as a way to identify evil people
  • honestly the messages in this book are the best
    • having a rough past doesn’t excuse being a shithead
    • morality is complicated but you’ve got to try your best
    • you can stop being an ass and change if you want to and good people will be kind about it
    • like the most infuriating people are the ones who are too scared to stand up to evil stuff (Mr. Poe, Jerome, Hector, Aunt Josephine, etc.)
    • “well-read people are less likely to be evil”
  • there’s this bit in The Vile Village where the siblings are thinking about running away with Hector in his self-sustaining hot air balloon and they’re just like yeah everything sucks but we can’t just run away. there’s stuff we want to do on the ground. and I don’t know but that just shook as a kid like that has legit kept me from killing myself three or four times now.
  • the cathedral of the alleged virgin
  • there’s tons more but that’s all I can remember right now
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My chapstick goes everywhere with me, and over time we’ve developed a very… close relationship…

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anonymous asked:

not saying those first two D+D stories aren't wholly awesome themselves but I absolutely gotta have some more information on the instance where you seduced a dragon

okay fair enough and I don’t got any drawings for you today so story time it is;

alright so we’re like, at the end of this big ole campaign that’s been running a while and we’re facing the Big Cheese who is a sorceress who just went all maleficent on us and transformed herself into a dragon. It’s rad, she’s mad, we all have a good time, but due to some extremely unlucky rolls on our team and some real good rolls on the DM’s side the party is suddenly in a Bad Way; our wizard was dead, the fighter had been trapped in a block of ice, and the bard had just jumped out the window to save himself and landed in a dungheap. Frankly I still think that was an excellent idea and was probably the best move any of us made in that session. 

My rogue, amazingly, was not doing all that hot either and was the only active player left- I had two HP, my arrows couldn’t pierce the dragon’s hide without the bard boosting my attack, she was out of range for a knife attack (throwing it would lose me the only effective weapon I had) and one of my legs was broken. Our DM is all sorts of guilt stricken and hadn’t expected things to go this badly, my companions are coming up with all sorts of get-out-of-jail plots but basically I can’t run, can’t attack, am nearly dead and there’s a dragon sorceress who’s about to eat me. I look at the only stat I rolled insanely well while making the character sheet… which is charisma.

So I ask if I can roll to seduce the sorceress. The DM looks at me like I’m insane, then a genius, then an insane genius, and allows it. Please also note that my rogue is tiny kenku, beaten to within an inch of her life, about to be toasted with hellfire and the sorceress who has been trying to crush our little band for the past year has more will than a stone fortress.

I rolled a 19. 

She rolled a 1.

So, yeah. We got married.

A soft baby blue/pink mb of yoonminseok for @niniminnie  🌸

Okay I’m just gonna express how Tired^tm I am of L/aura M/oon like….she literally says “The whole time I thought I was responsible and it turns out someone else was responsible the whole time!!@111!!” like abt her life and her death and everything and like…..BICTH IT WAS STILL YOU! YOU decided to rob the casino. YOU decided to cheat on Shadow. YOU decided to give road head LIKE! I’m TIRED JANICE! Shadow Moon has had so many problems too and you don’t see my mans trying to blame it on anyone else ENOUGH DEBRA.

When every social media platform you log into has Valentine’s Day DLC spoilers

Originally posted by wonderlandforgirls