is this counterproductive

On the concept of Soulmate AUs

You know what I’m tired of? Soulmate AUs with the protagonist/antagonist ship as the main pairing that always has the villain who reacts the best to the situation, and the hero freaking out.

What I want to see is a hero who gets it, who understands that yeah, their soulmate may kind of be a murdering psychopath, but that’s cool, they can deal with that, they can live through it, but what’s not cool is them totally looking the other way and avoiding the hell out of them.

Give me the realisation that they’re soulmates in the middle of a fight, when they’re bloody and bruised and tired and they just slip, skin on skin contact, and then the whole world just shifts into place.

“This can’t be happening.”

“Have you every heard of opposites attract?”

“I’m going to kill you.”

“But- Okay, yeah, we’re doing this.”

Give me a brutal fight that ends with a “Since when do my attacks hurt this much?” and the villain slowly realising that they can’t kill themselves out of this situation, that they can’t escape this because they’re soul bonded to a kid with a hero complex who is constantly trying to thwart them and is now for some reason grinning at them like a lunatic because they supposedly belong together. And damn does suddenly being able to feel emotions and pain that wasn’t his sting, because he has enough shit to deal with on his own without the added pressure, thanks.

Give me snarky comments and miniature fights in the middle of the night when the hero catches the antagonist coming back from who knows where, bloody and in pain and maybe a little too bust up, to say they won the fight.

“You usually look happier to see me.”

“You killed someone this morning.”

“What gave it away?”

“You mean besides the fact that you’re covered in blood and I felt every moment of it?”

Give me the villain slowly getting used to the idea that hey, they’re sort of going to have to put up with this little ray of sunshine for a while even though he kind of hates his guts and wants to kill him, but also give me the villain wondering what they ever did to deserve this. What could they possibly have done that was so great, so obscenely terrifyingly amazing that they could be soul bonded to a person like this, someone so innocent and righteous and downright beautiful that half of it seems like a mad dream?

“Not every bad guy has a tragic past.”

“But you do. I’ve seen it.”

“I’m going to punch you.”

“That would be counterproductive to what we’re doing here.”

“…”

“That hurt you as much as it hurt me.”

“Worth it.”

Give me tempers flaring and bristling arguments and the hero getting so tired, but still carrying on, not because they think that there’s some good in the antagonist or because they think they can change them, but because this is their soulmate, the person that the fates chose for him, his other half, someone that he had to protect and look after and love, because if not him, then who else was going to?

“I am going to hurt you. I’m going to rip out your intestines and strangle you with them.”

“You’ve been pretty good today. That’s three less death threats than yesterday.”

“Prepare to have your balls removed with a butcher’s knife and shoved down your throat, asshole.”

“I’m still counting this as progress.”

Give me the antagonist not realising the reality that this isn’t someone who wants something from him, who wants to change him, use him, abuse him, but rather someone who just wants to be with him, love him. Give me an antagonist who can’t understand the concept that somebody might actually care.

“I thought this was what you wanted! The sex, the cuddling, the stupid hand-holding. What more could you want from me?”

“I don’t want anything from you.”

“Yes you do. They always do! Just tell me what you want and you can have it. Just leave me alone, please. I can’t take this anymore.”

“I want you to trust me, to believe me when I say that I love you.”

“You’re only saying that because of the bond.”

“No, I’m not. I’ve seen everything that you have, felt what you feel, heard what you’ve heard. Maybe at first, a little, it was just because of the bond, but then I fell in love with you, the real you, the one behind all the fronts that you put up.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“I didn’t expect you too, but you will, one day. I’m not giving up on you.”

Give me the hero facing shit from their friends and family, because they don’t understand why they’re trying so hard and putting up with so much shit, even though he’s his soulmate, but the hero just shrugging and smiling because they get it, and it doesn’t matter if everyone else doesn’t.

“He threatens to brutally mutilate you constantly.”

“I like to believe it’s how he expresses his affections.”

“He tried to kill you so many times.”

“There was only the once after we found out about the bond, though.”

“You’re making excuses now.”

“It’s just that there’s so much anger in him, all of the time. I don’t know how anyone could live like that. I want to help him.”

“You’re going to get yourself killed.”

“That’s not my biggest concern anymore. He is.”

Give me a hero who tries so, so hard, and a villain who, despite everything, slowly gives in. Give me quiet nights laid in bed or watching the stars, no words and only their hands touching, just the sensation of palm against palm enough. Give me heated arguments, rage, unsteady headiness at the realisation that they’re not going to leave each other, no matter what happens.

Give me a soulmate AU where the hero doesn’t react badly, isn’t scared or hateful that their soulmate is their arch nemesis, the big bad guy, the villain they can never seem to get rid of, because really they should have expected that all along. Because no one hates that much without there being a little something more behind it.

where adrien flirts
  • so adrien has a little problem: he likes marinette. like he really, honest-to-god likes her, and he doesn’t know what to do about it. his track record with girls isn’t so stellar. after he confessed his feelings to ladybug as chat noir, she calmly turned him down and admitted she liked someone else. so as nino would say, without a lady to tie him down, adrien agreste is single and ready to mingle
  • but he’s always been single?? and what does mingle even mean?? like, nino, what the hell, dude?? help a man out. 
  • so nino sits him down and explains how to get his crush. with his previous crush, nino tells him, adrien obviously didn’t do it right, and that’s why she turned him down (nino doesn’t know it was ladybug, and he just likes to think adrien was crushing on a supermodel who was totally out of even his league). 
  • nino: “you gotta flirt, man. the ladies love a dude who’s chill and cool and confident. you gotta rock it and own it. you got this.”
    adrien: “but how? every time I go to her, she looks at me, and I can’t… make my words work.”
    nino: “….you two are perfect for each other.”
    adrien: “what?”
    nino: “what?”
  • nino gives him an article with a few tips for flirting. this shouldn’t be too bad, and hey, it worked on alya, nino swears by it. so with 10 Flirting Techniques That Are Garunteed to Work on Women on his mind, adrien is determined to woo the ladies.
  • 1. set the stage with the “soft stare”: so all he had to do was stare at marinette as deeply as possible whenever they had a conversation while maintaining a calm and relaxed expression. marinette likes to stutter and stammer her ways through her words, and he couldn’t blame her, because he lost control when he tried to talk to her as well, and usually her antics made him smile and laugh. but according to the tips, he wasn’t allowed to.
  • it’s all good for a week or so, until nino pulls him aside and asks why he looks like he’s plotting how to murder marinette in her sleep like some type of serial killer every time he talks to her. 
  • he stops talking to her after that. alya tracks him down a few days later and whacks him upside the head for making her best friend cry by ignoring her. adrien goes back to talking to marinette as normally as possible after that because it’s better to talk to her as friends than invoke his “killer smile” while trying to flirt.
  • 2. be vague and leave her wanting more: adrien has this in the bag. he knows how to skirt around a topic, but that’s just because he has to make sure he kept his secret identity as a superhero of Paris a… secret. being vague is one of his best talents, it also helps with those stupid paparazzi who always follow him. the article offers some suggests: tell her you know a secret about her, tell her there’s something interesting about her and you can’t put your finger on it, tell her that’s she exactly your type but don’t tell her what you type actually is, etc. he spends most of the night plotting his exact words, and the next day, when he sees marinette, it just comes spilling out…
  • adrien: “i know your secret, marinette.”
    marinette: “…what?”
    well shit, adrien thought, the article didn’t tell him what happened after this.
    adrien: “…i know it. your secret… i knew there was something about you that i couldn’t put my finger on.”
    marinette: “…wait, so you know? ohmygodthiscan’tbehappening,ohmygod, how did you figure it out???”
  • adrien wasn’t sure what to do after this point, so like the article said, he leaves her wanting more and nopes the fuck outta there, cha-cha sliding out of the classroom and bolting down the hallway before she could catch him.
  • 3. the sensual look: once a girl is comfortable around you, give her a mischievous look that makes her think. the article (and nino) never really explain what the girl will think about, but adrien totally supports girl empowerment and helping those smart cookies get the best grades and brilliance recognition they deserve. if a mischievous smile is all it takes, then he’s more than happy to help.
  • he flashes her a quirky smirk in Madame Bustier’s lecture, marinette notices and freezes up. he thinks he did it wrong when nino just leans closer and says, “you broke marinette.”
  • adrien apologizes after class and swears he’ll never break her again. marinette just mumbles, “you can break me anytime.”
  • adrien thinks it’s counterproductive. 
  • 4. the surprise wink: whenever you pass her, just wink after you lock eyes, nino says, she won’t expect it and it’ll surprise her but give her the clear and distinct message that you are flirting with her. adrien wants marinette to know he likes her and wants to flirt with he rand wants to date her and just be with her, so he winks every time he gets. 
  • they see each other in class? wink he catches her eyes while they study for physics? wink they talk about madame bustier’s homework? wink she asks him for his opinion on her designs? wink 
  • at first, she giggles. after two weeks, she presents him with a bottle of over-the-counter artificial tears for his “eye twitch.” he stops winking after that and doesn’t talk to nino for the rest of the day.
  • 5. the playful bump: playful actions, like bumping, will definitely make a girl smile. 
  • adrien: “but nino, i could hurt her.”
    nino: “no, my dude, she knows you’re teasing.”
    adrien: “i don’t care if she knows. what if i knock her over?”
    nino: “no, you don’t do it hard, you just–”
    adrien: “what if she falls over and breaks her nose? i don’t wanna break her nose, nino. she has a cute nose.”
    nino: “adrien, you’re not gonna break her–”
    adrien: “niNO
  • 6. the understatement: understate the compliments you give her, okay, okay, adrien can do this. it’s simple.
  • adrien: “marinette, your eyes are blue… like avatar’s skin. just blue.. all over.. it’s great. not the brightest blue, but not the darkest. just blue. you have blue eyes, marinette.”
    marinette: *is speechless*
    nino: “…you nailed that, adrien.”
    adrien: “oh thanks, nino.”
  • 7. the double negative, “i don’t think you’re not beautiful”: 
    adrien: “but i do think she’s beautiful.”
    nino: “i know, you’re telling her that.”
    adrien: “but you just said i don’t think she’s beautiful?”
    nino: “no, no, you said you don’t think she’s not beautiful, so ergo you think she is beautiful.”
    adrien: “…grammar hurts my head, nino.”
    nino: “i know, my dude, i understand.”
  • 8. the sensual tease, tease her for liking you: okay, but adrien doesn’t know if marinette likes him like that? nino swears she does, and alya says so too, but it still makes him feel bad for teasing her. so he doesn’t tease her and just keeps doing stuff like he normally does, like walking her home from school and helping her study physics and giving her advice for her designs and keeping a stash of food for her on the mornings she runs late and he knows she didn’t have breakfast yet.
  • nino rolls his eyes, but adrien doesn’t care. his momma didn’t raise no hooligan. no, if he was going to flirt with marinette, at least he can be a gentleman about it.
  • 9. the moniker: giving her a cute nickname will let her know how special she is. adrien spends a week thinking about it, and nino gives him a few suggestions, but he doesn’t listen. if he’s giving marinette a nickname, it has to be something he does because it’ll let her know she’s special to him.
  • a few days later, he slips up and calls her “princess” because she’s pretty, sweet, smart, likes pink, and is a natural born leader just like a royal. marinette freezes when he calls her that, but she smiles and laughs eventually. she seems to like it, and he keeps doing it. it’s fitting, he supposes, for someone like her. marinette, his princess.
  • does that mean he gets to be her knight?
  • nino calls him a nerd.
  • 10. tell her how you feel: it’s the last step, and adrien agonizes over it for days. it can’t really be as simple as nino makes it out to be, but then again, his best friend has been dating a pretty sweet gal for months, so it obviously worked for him. adrien broods over it for a while, and alya warns him not to ignore marinette for days again, and he swears he isn’t. he’s just trying to find his courage. why oh why is it so much easier to face an akuma with certain death hanging over his head than tell a girl how he really feels?
  • marinette decides to take matters into her own hands, which he isn’t really surprised by because she usually is a head-strong, independent female. what he is surprised by is when ladybug swings into his bedroom window and transforms into marinette right before his very eyes.
  • marinette: “why are you ignoring me? did i do something wrong?”
    adrien: *adrien.exe has stopped working*
    marinette: “…adrien?”
    adrien: “…you’re… ladybug?!”
    marinette: “yeah, i know. you know. we’ve been over this–”
    adrien: “nononoNO, we most certainly haven’t.”
    marinette: *marinette.exe has stopped working*
    adrien: “…marinette?”
    marinette: “I… but you said you knew my secret.”
    adrien: “I WAS BEING VAGUE.”
    marinette: “WHY?!”
    adrien: “IVE BEEN FLIRTING WITH YOU.”
    marinette: “…you have?”
    adrien: “well, i was trying–”
  • plagg: *pops out of adrien’s pocket* “oh, are we trading secrets?”
    tikki: *pops out of marinette’s bag* “I think so?”
    plagg: *holds out paw to marinette* “fine. im plagg, i turn him into chat noir. nice to finally meet you. i’m glad you guys are finally telling each other, it’s been so tiring listening to him mooning over you. do you have any cheese?”
    marinette: “…you’re chat noir?”
    adrien: *dies*

so marinette and adrien are dating now, so in a way he thinks his plan worked? that doesn’t stop marinette from asking him how he thought he’d been flirting, so he tells her nino’s tips. she laughs for a week straight. that’s the last time he ever listens to nino.

an adrien version of this post. some people asked for an adrien version, it’s not directly a sequel, but still another au. just two nerds trying to flirt and failing spectacularly. 

10 small tips to improve your productivity

Who can resist reading another little post full of tips to help you get more work done? Here is a few things that I find useful when trying to get myself motivated.

  1. Clear desk, clear mind - I like to organise things before I start working. If things are messy, I get a little preoccupied and procrastinate even more. My suggestion is clear your desk, sort everything you’ll need to study and get on!
  2. The two minute rule - If a task that needs to be done takes less than two minutes, just do it. My dad has often suggested that this is a great way to sort out your priorities and so far it has worked for me. Things like check my emails, cross off events from my planner, file something away don’t take long but get you in the mood for productivity. As they say “object in motion, stay in motion”.
  3. Break your time up - Schedule your study time and any breaks you need to take. This helps structure your day and acts as a motivation to get things done. Especially if you can reward yourself at the end!
  4. Leave your phone alone - Like most people I use my phone constantly but when I’m trying to work, it is best to leave it alone. Out of sight, out of mind. Try leaving it on silent and behind you so you aren’t tempted to pick it up after every beep. Use your break times to check it.
  5. Find your top three to five priorities - Seeing a long list of things to do is usually, for some people, kind of counterproductive. Figure out the main things that need to be done and work on those. If you’re able to complete those main things, you’ll feel like you’ve accomplished the days necessities and may even want to complete some more.
  6. Try using a mindmap instead of a to do list - Apparently using a mindmap layout instead of a traditional list can help boost productivity. It is a little more funky way to see all your outstanding tasks and might not look as overwhelming as a super long list.
  7. Wear headphones - You don’t have to always listen to things but it can help block out any noise that can distract you. If you’re someone that likes some music, try songs with little or no words. This is a great playlist by Spotify.
  8. Don’t multitask - As much as you think you can do it, trying to multitask usually ends up in a confused mess and takes twice the time. Stick to one task at a time. If you think of something you need to do, write it down and do it later.
  9. Change things up - Doing the same things in the same place can get boring. Make the effort every now and then to change where you’re studying or how you’re studying. This can include moving your studying from the desk to the kitchen table for a change of scenery, or making flash cards instead of annotating your notes. Studying with a family member or friends is a fun way to get some work done!
  10. Be positive - Most people have times when they just don’t want to study or anything, it is natural. However it is not worth sitting staring at your books in an unmotivated mood just waiting to feel inspired. If you’re not feeling it, do something else for a while. Come back to it a bit later and have another go. Usually walking away and coming back is all you need to feel more productive.

I hope these few tips are useful! These are the kind of things that work for me, so give them a shot and let me know if they help. Best of luck with your studies x

what sign placements need to work on

🌙 MOON SIGNS:- 🌙

Aries moon: You need to stop rushing into things because you feel like it. You’ve likely been told this a million times but you’re not completely convinced anything’s worth being patient for. As an Aries moon, you have a deep need to get things done, move on with life, as fast as possible, it’s always “on to the next one” … losing an opportunity because you didn’t act on your impulse fast enough would be a nightmare to you. When Mars’ ruling sign is in the moon, impulse is a key word especially when it comes to emotions. You need to learn that feeling strongly about something does NOT always mean you have to act on it. You choose to ignore that sometimes it is possible to act too early for example, coming on too strong with potential partners and scaring them off, or expecting someone to get over upsetting events quicker than they can and dismissing them when they can’t. Use your head for once. You need to be aware that what you feel and what you do, don’t always have to be aligned. It may be better not to start something rashly that would be a waste of productive time so… do learn to weigh the pros and cons (something your sister sign Libra excels at). Normally what happens is you start something on an impulse but you grow bored of it quickly and divert your attention elsewhere. You excel at initiation, but you lack endurance and perseverance. This emotional need for excitement and new projects can hold you back in your life, especially in most careers where skill like patience and perseverance are highly sought after or required. Also, just because you move on from things quickly doesn’t mean everyone else does. Learn to be respectful of others’ pacing and approaches even if it doesn’t feel “right” to you - not everything is about you and you are not the world authority on the right way to feel no matter how much it feels like you are, ESPECIALLY when you’re so painfully oblivious to any depth or causes behind your emotions.

Taurus moon: You need to learn to get your mind out of the gutter. If you don’t, you will never grow emotionally. With a fixed earth moon, you genuinely believe holding on to things is the ‘right’ approach, even if these things are currently of no use or value, out of fear that you’ll need them later. This applies to both possessions and principles. You’re so stubborn with your beliefs and you’re well aware of this… The reason most of you choose to do nothing about this is because you’d rather stick to what you know and be wrong than to risk adopting a new belief or approach that proves to be ineffective and a waste of your time. This leads to stagnancy and a feeling of being stuck… And you know why! STOP letting your deep seated fear of change and ‘losing’ valuable things/people hold you back from taking risks and leaps out of your comfort zone. STOP letting your emotional need to be absolutely sure of details/pros and cons hold you back from iniating or making a move in relationships or careers. Time isn’t forever, you know this better than most. What you need to do with all this fixedness is ACTIVELY challenge your schemas and thoughts. Learn to prioritise rationality over comfort and it will become gradually easier to step out of your comfort zone. Unlike Aries, you excel at persevering but lack initiative. Wouldn’t it be better to start something without being completely sure of all the details and pros and cons and slowly become more certain over time than to lose an opportunity because you were too busy meticulously assessing if it was worth the time and effort? And if you end up at a disadvantage then at least you know for certain whether it is worth your time or not. Let. Things. Go. Your way is NOT always the ‘right’ way of approaching things just because it feels comfortable or practical to you. You need to learn to be more tolerant of others’ approaches to things. You’d think you’d have learned that by now with all your apparent love for peace…

Gemini moon: You need to find stability in every aspect of life, especially emotionally. All that chaotic Mercury energy might seem fun and great at first, but gemini moon natives can find themselves feeling lost, confused and annoyed with their scattered mind. It is therefore extremely important to find some grounding influence if you want to achieve personal growth and, for this particular moon, a way to calm the restless mercurial energy or risk imploding in on yourself with your propensity to rationalise and analyse your emotions instead of simply feeling them. One way you can express this is through communicating/teaching others or stimulating your nearly insatiable intellectual abilities through being the student and learning new things. Your strength lies in your resourcefulness and ability to bounce back from most difficult situations. This changeable nature also means your moods are like the wind.. fleeting and unpredictable, the Gemini moon combines the mutable signs’ adaptability and the air signs’ abstracted and detached logic. You need to learn to develop empathy for others or at least be supportive of their emotions rather than dismissive. You need to stop avoiding working through your emotions and get over with the painful process sooner rather than later. Being ruled by the planet of communication is no excuse for being insensitive to the emotional needs of others and/or your own. Most importantly, you need to find a core. Stick to your plans, see what happens.

Cancer moon: Stop giving into your emotions. While you do feel emotions more strongly than most, you let them control you too much and they guide all of your actions. In order for this moon to reach true self-actualisation you must develop objectivity. You have to develop your rational skills and actively attempt to distance yourself emotionally from situations; this will be extremely difficult but it is vital for your growth and it will help you feel more in control of your emotions. Moreover, you need to stop being so stuck in the past - your sentimentality means your past or childhood memories had profound effects on you that you tenaciously cling to, but you must let go and live in the present, look towards the future. The possibility are endless which is why looking to the past to guide the present and future is so detrimental and counterproductive. Learn that clinging onto things that are already slipping away wont keep them in place, it will only elongate the healing period. You know this. You have a tendency to wallow in self pity though… Stop being self-involved and divert your enormous emotional capacity to others, that’s when you are at your best. You also need to learn to take risks in relationships and become less guarded - not everyone will hurt you.

Leo moon: You need to stop being so dependent on attention or praise from others to feel emotionally secure. Moreover, having an enormous emotional need to be recognised is not an excuse to demand attention from everyone you love. Stop assuming you are everyone’s top priority cause really you’ll just end up hurting yourself with this assumption. It’s childish and arrogant to expect everyone to pay undivided attention to you all the time and you know this and yet… You still continue to do it? Just because others give you a free pass to be as demanding and bossy and self-absorbed as you wish to be doesn’t mean it’s ok for you to grow complicit with this, no matter how much you want to be. Your optimism is contagious and your will so strong it’s infectious, thus therein lies the problem: pride. You are always under the deluded assumption that you are right and everyone else’s opinions are inferior, wrong or irrelevant but you must work on being more open to criticism and correction from others, otherwise you’ll drive people away with your prideful insistence and stubborn refusal to admit you are wrong. You must also work on adopting more reasonable expectations of the people you love as you often demand a lot.

Virgo moon: You need to adopt a more forgiving, positive lens for the faults you find in others and yourself. While your high standards and nitpicky nature allow you to achieve great accomplishment and have competent capabilities, they can ultimately be your downfall. Stop being so critical of yourself and others out of a mistaken assumption that it’s helpful and necessary. Sometimes focusing on your strengths and positive traits is what’s needed in a situation. Your perfectionist and obsessive tendencies can make you go over the same thing several times which actually conflicts with the productiveness and efficiency you so desperately need in order to feel emotionally secure. In order to achieve self growth, you must accept that you cannot achieve perfection or you’ll spend your entire life chasing it. The best thing you can do is give things your best. Tell yourself there was nothing more you could’ve done, which is normally true. Burn out your restless mercurial energy through analysis or other forms of detailed communication, but do not rely on this. To reach full potential you must be able to remain calm in moments of chaos which you despise. Skip or change routines.

Libra moon: You need to stop depending on others’ companionship to develop your own personality and/or feel emotionally secure. In order to self-actualise you must learn to be comfortable and confident on your own. Realise your own worth by going out alone, eating alone, staying in alone etc until you’re comfortable with being left alone. Stop letting others decide things for you. You need to develop your decisiveness and not let people take advantage of your easygoing personality. While you do require equality in a relationship, you can be a bit of a pushover with others in fear of being left alone if you assert yourself. That’s not healthy. Work on standing up for yourself and making your own decisions - ignore your superficial desires to have companionship and realise that this is vital to your personal growth. Also there is a tendency to be somewhat detached and rational with emotions, so you need to make a conscious effort to be more empathetic to others’ emotions.

Scorpio moon: You MUST stop trying to control everything and everyone. Manipulating others and controlling them will not ensure their loyalty to you. What sense does it make to control what can’t be controlled? And yet you never stop trying. Closing yourself off from people to avoid betrayal is unproductive and unwise. You may be eliminating any chances of betrayal, but you’re also effectively denying yourself any meaningful relationships and emotional intimacy with others - an integral need of the Scorpio moon. You need to put more trust and faith in people. Not everyone is out to get you. Isolating yourself does not make you invincible, it will only make you miserable.

Sagittarius moon: You need to let yourself form meaningful relationships with people without getting flighty. Your biggest issue is emotional commitment. Even all the traveling in the world won’t necessarily make you feel whole, as enlightened as you pretend to be. You want constant excitement and stimulation but you need to learn to make do with what you have and enjoy the simple things in life… The world won’t be accommodating to your need for variety and change, so you feel smothered by routines and any stagnancy. You need to learn that committing to things is not a punishment, but actually reap many benefits - especially with Jupiter watching over you. You also must learn to develop a sense of empathy and respect towards others’ emotions as your bluntness comes off as insensitive and irreverent (and it is). Not everyone moves on as quickly as you.

Capricorn moon: You have an innate sense of self-control and resilience which are both your greatest strength and weaknesses. Your need to have things in order and in control hinders your potential to grow, explore and learn because you’re so terrified of making mistakes in the first place. You think sticking to what you know/the comfort zone will stop you from making mistakes because it’s already ‘tried and tested’. However, you must experiment and develop some versatility to truly learn. Making no errors doesn’t teach you anything. With the moon in detriment, you are uncomfortable openly expressing emotions and affection and prefer to keep it under wraps. The main challenge with Capricorn moon is to overcome the saturnian ‘block’ and express their feelings and emotional needs without shame. Capricorn moon is terrified of emotional intimacy however and preoccupies themselves with work and career. There is a deep need to be productive and useful which they often focus on fulfilling when their need for firm yet gentle guidance/love is unfulfilled. You must learn to open up to those who care about you and thrive on a little disorder to achieve self-actualisation. Learn to enjoy rewards without feeling guilty.

Aquarius moon: You need to stop searching for your identity through global causes. You disguise your detached insensitivity behind a faux-altruistic worldly veneer, as a transparent attempt to hide the fact that you don’t really know yourself. You stubbornly refuse to interact with your emotions outside of analysing them and you must learn to acknowledge them sooner or later! It’s just over quicker when you make the right decision and address this weakness early on. What happens often is Aquarius Moons often neglect figuring out who they are deep down and instead preoccupy themselves with global issues that they find more “noble” and “important”. However there is no way of achieving personal growth without knowing yourself on an inner level. Don’t be complicit in this cycle of obliviousness.. you’d think you’d have learned to break this routine by now when your moon is ruled by Uranus.

Pisces moon: You need to learn to stop yourself from getting lost and drifting off in foggy daydreams. When Neptune meets the moon, the imagination is rich and vibrant. There is a tendency to maladaptive daydreaming and escapist tendencies which can turn dangerous if this leads to addiction/substance abuse. Work on being more in touch with reality and the menial world. It’ll keep you in check. Face your emotions and fears head on, stop running away! Avoid your flight tendencies and stick to a plan, make lists, all sorts of menial tasks that engage you with the “real world”. Do anything to keep yourself from losing your grip and giving into unhealthy temptations.

🌐 MERCURY SIGNS:- 🌐

Aries mercury: Learn to just… pause for a second and read in between the lines. Actually think about things… The surface level won’t always be honest to you. Learn to rationalise thoughts and weigh the pros and cons.

Taurus mercury: Learn how to open your damn mind. It’s a cliche phrase only because few actually invest mental energy in developing tolerance to other viewpoints and very few actively challenge their fixed schemas. Regardless, that is what you need to do to achieve a ‘growth mindset’. You want practical advice? Actually listen to what others are saying, not what you can prove wrong. Prioritise logic and rationality over your comfort in sticking to mental routines. It will be uncomfortable but it’s vital for your growth.

Gemini mercury: Learn to look at the details. Stop skimming over everything, that will inevitably bite you in the ass if you keep looking for the ‘gist’ of things. Also learn to develop mental endurance. You excel at absorbing a variety of information and mental versatility but you get distracted too easily. Some things are worth paying attention more than 2 seconds for… Every time you catch yourself diverting your attention, be proactive. Force yourself to go back and see if you missed anything worthy/important.

Cancer mercury: Stooooop linking every mental stimulus to your past and stop confusing your sentimental insistence on using the same emotion-based approach for practicality. You might have a rich imagination and great memory, but you need to learn to be more rational. Try to memorise things in different ways. Pay more attention to reality and the present.

Leo mercury: Ok 1) stop yelling and 2) stop blowing everything out of proportion. Constantly exaggerating details will eventually get in the way of your not-so-subtle goal to be credible/recognised and respected.

Virgo mercury: You need to learn to look at the big picture. Nitpicking over tiny and often irrelevant details may have bode well in high school but it can cause you to miss the point or answer that is in plain sight. Perfectionist tendencies make you go over things a million times paying utmost attention to all the little things and… this reductionist and obsessive way of thinking ironically gets in the way of the efficiency you claim to prioritise.

Libra mercury: You need to learn to be more decisive, and more importantly learn that extremes are not necessarily inferior. If you act as a mediator in an argument, actually try and reach a practical solution and/or conclusion instead of just endlessly weighing abstract pros and cons. Learn to think on your feet. Some decisions are better made with less deliberation. Prioritise productiveness over logical assessment. As for indecisiveness, if you’re stuck between two decisions flip a coin or use an online decision maker for more than two decisions and in the moment it takes to generate a choice, you’ll know what decision YOU want to make as you’ll find yourself secretly wishing for it. If you genuinely are unsure, go with the decision the generator made. This will help you become more confident in making decisions.

Scorpio mercury: You need to learn to accept that sometimes there’s no depth to things. Learn when to stop probing and go … probe somewhere else instead of wasting your time. Some people really are that shallow. Some jokes really are that inexplicably bad. Some information really is that cryptic and you can’t figure it out simply because you don’t know all the information. Stop over thinking every single thing. Some things are a lot simpler than you think they are. Save your time. Distract yourself with something intense or complicated enough to override your overly analytical​ mind.

Sagittarius mercury: Stop preaching oh my god.. giving a generic ass answer to faux-deep questions does not make you a philosopher. Learn to look at the details. Also stop being oblivious to how blunt you are, it can be detrimental to your growth. Learn to exercise self awareness in the way you communicate.

Capricorn mercury: You need to learn to pay attention to what you can’t see. Like the other earth mercuries and Aries, what you see is what you believe. Only looking at things at face value holds you back from mental self-actualisation, along with that God complex. You think ignoring whatever’s between the lines in favour of logic is practical and yet ironically insist your line of thinking is right to the point of bias. Focus less on what’s ‘efficient and productive’ and more on detached logic as well as paying attention to the unobservable.

Aquarius mercury: Stop thinking you have all the answers holy fucking God complex… You claim to be tolerant and open minded but go off at or shun anyone who doesn’t share your opinions, even when evidence is presented. Work on being less rigid with your opinions and accept that others might know more than you/be more ~globally aware~ than you.

Pisces mercury: Learn to like…. be present. Stop daydreaming your life away. Stop giving in to your indulgent fantasies. It’s not productive, but that’s foreign language to you anyway. Basically actively remind yourself to pay attention to the real world, and in detail. Set external reminders. Do you really wanna look back on your life realising you wasted most of it daydreaming? You’re a deep thinker in a way the other signs aren’t, but on the downside there’s a reason Mercury is in detriment when it’s in Pisces. Your path to mental actualisation may be more difficult for you than others, but that’s why it’s so VITAL that you start now if you haven’t already. A developed Pisces Mercury has all the answers to the questions no one knows. Don’t let yourself slip away. Even if it’s tempting.

♀ VENUS SIGNS:- ♀

Aries venus: You know relationships can like… have a few moments of quiet right? Like it’s possible to have a fun and exciting relationship without going to a different rollercoaster or nearly dying every day. You need to learn to pause every now and then and actually think about what your partner would enjoy, because half the time you just seem like a chaotic bumbling mess incapable of just chilling for a while. Learn to COMPROMISE in relationships like your sister sign Libra. Venus is in detriment in Aries so it’s hard for sentimentality or romance to be expressed. The relationship doesn’t have to be fun 24/7 or about doing things. If it is then the relationship isn’t about being in love with the person let’s be real it’s just about doing things you feel like doing, just with a companion. Learn that it’s ok to just stay in sometimes. It doesn’t necessarily mean the relationship is stagnating or the spark is dying or that you’re ‘settling’ - you may simply be growing through the relationship by feeling secure enough in the union to do stuff you wouldn’t normally do. Also liking someone doesn’t mean you have to immediately jump into a relationship, try extending the chase for a while and you might be pleasantly surprised how fun that stage is. Outside of the area of relationships, you can be impulsive with regards to finances and you indulge in immediate gratification. Learn to CONSERVE, hold back and appreciate the beauty in things. And the next time you try to show a friend or someone you care about an appreciative gesture, consider lending them an ear without judgement instead of suggesting a fun night out for faux-selfless reasons..

Taurus venus: You need to learn to be more spontaneous in relationships. You are very loyal and stable and therein lies your weakness. Learn to take risks in relationships whether you’re attempting to start one or in a deeply committed one. Stop using the fact that you’re ‘settled down’ as an excuse to be lazy and complicit. You can have fun outside your comfort zone… You just take a while to assess whether a relationship is worth investing in or not. Keep in mind that they won’t wait forever though, better to take a chance in a relationship and realise it’s not going to work than to miss the opportunity to start one because you kept wondering if you should take the risk… At least then you’ll know for sure. Aside from relationships, Taurus Venus can be very indulgent so they must be careful not to over indulge and become lazy and too preoccupied with worldly pleasures. You need to stop focusing on your own comfort. Take chances. Change up the routine. Don’t let life become stagnant. Just because something feels comfortable doesn’t mean it’s healthy.

Gemini venus: As a mercurial Venus, you need to talk less and do more in relationships. You’re not fooling anyone by just being verbally expressive, your actions have to back up your words. Stop freaking out when someone says the words settling down. You can have a healthy, exciting relationship even when you commit to someone. Outside of relationships, you really just need to listen to people, like actually listen to what they’re trying to say between the lines instead of listening to wait for your turn to speak. You give up on pleasures easily, the type to give up on a show two episodes in because it’s not mentally stimulating enough or too boring. Stop that. Learn to be patient.

Cancer venus: You need to stop being a creature of comforts and stop being so reliant on reassurance. Work up the courage to be affectionate with people even if they aren’t reassuring you 24/7 and actively challenge any insecure thoughts when the people you love aren’t around you. Learn to be more independent, not everyone appreciates clinginess - not to mention this placement is more likely to have dependency issues. Get out of the house, have fun by yourself. Learn that a relationship is strongest when you don’t need reassurance because the security between the people in the relationship is that unbreakable. Outside of relationships, there is a tendency for comfort eating or comfort spending if the wallet allows it. You need to develop confidence and security from within rather than from these external factors. Learn to let go of past hurts.

Leo venus: You need to learn to be more reasonable with your expectations. You have a larger-than-life, almost childlike view of love and these demanding expectations can be exhausting and even crippling to the people in your life who can’t give you the flamboyant over-the-top grandiose displays of affection you dream about. This is disappointing to you, but not everything can be grand all the time - a lesson that must be learned when the Sun’s shining hot rays meet Venus. That doesn’t mean your partner/friends/family love you any less, they may simply have a more toned-down way of expressing love. Loving you can be… expensive. Leo expects grandiose luxury 24/7 and this can lead to over indulgence and laziness in relationships. Leo Venuses may also be impulsive with their spending and always treat themselves if the wallet allows it. Keep an eye on this and control your appetite for luxury in order to grow. Be considerate of your partner’s needs/other people’s needs rather than endlessly thinking about how they don’t measure up to YOUR ideals.

Virgo venus: Venus falls in Virgo so the planet’s desire for calmness, beauty and social grace conflicts with Virgo’s critical, nitpicking, finnicky nature. Stop being so quick to judge others’ appearance and point out their flaws just because they don’t match up to your extremely high standards. These standards can be unreasonable. You constantly criticise those you love because you think it helps improve them, yet you are extremely sensitive to any criticism thrown at you. In order to reach personal growth you need to develop confidence in your appearance and self worth to the point where you are unaffected by outside criticisms. You also need to express your appreciation for those you love in more positive ways, like compliments. Constant criticism will make no one think kindly of you, despite your seemingly good intentions… Insecure virgo venuses can be critical out of a dissatisfaction with their own appearance. Work on being more reasonable and less judgemental.

Libra venus: You need to work on your sincerity. You’re friendly and peace-loving so people enjoy your company but you have a tendency to treat all people the same, regardless of how close or distant you are, bringing your sincerity into question. You yourself often wonder if you like people or if you only like the idea of them but you rarely probe beneath the surface to avoid awkwardness. Your interactions can therefore be quite superficial. You value respect and peace above all so you may be reluctant to bring up issues in relationships. Learn to stop avoiding conflict and address important​ issues even if it disrupts the peace. Stop thinking of people as abstract concepts and really decide whether or not you like certain people. This will help eliminate miscommunication and any resentment from the other party.

Scorpio venus: Love doesn’t have to be painful and dramatic in order to be transformative. Your need for over the top drama in relationships can be tiring and exhausting to others. Stop relying on intense drama to work out your trust issues. Instead, you need to work on challenging your paranoia of being betrayed, letting go of control in relationships and avoid guilt-tripping/manipulating people into staying in the relationships. When Pluto is expressed through Venus, there is a tendency to destroy relationships before they even start (and then some more destruction if it does take off). Just because you find love painful and messy doesn’t mean you have to make it that way for the people who care about you. Stop treating them as toys that need to be tested. Address YOUR trust issues directly to achieve personal growth and form/maintain healthy, strong relationships. With this venus there is a strong attraction to the taboo so be careful, don’t get carried away by your desires.

Sagittarius venus: Stop looking at people as “experiences” to be tried. In order to achieve growth and fulfilment you need to surround yourself with loyal and caring people who don’t disregard your need for freedom and independence. But for full self-actualisation, you need to realise that commitment and freedom are not simultaneously exclusive; instead of leaving relationships the second you’re not stimulated, try waiting it out. Learn to develop patience with your friends and people you love. Not everyone can be intellectually stimulating 24/7. Avoid buying too many souvenirs when traveling.

Capricorn venus: Learn to enjoy pleasure without feeling guilty and learn to loosen up and quit treating relationships like a business contract. If you keep assessing the costs and benefits of relationships you may miss out on an opportunity, not to mention this cold and calculated approach to relationships makes it lose its sentiment. Sometimes it’s better to just jump in even if you don’t know how much you have to lose. This is not to say you are cold and calculated, but you hide your warmness behind a cool veneer. The problem is, most people won’t/forget to look beyond the surface level. Therefore, you must put in an effort in being more socially trusting, warm and at ease until you actually feel less tense and stiff. Not that it matters. You’ll likely distract yourself with work anyways….

Aquarius venus: Learn that don’t have to prove your uniqueness to the world through your partners. Aquarius venuses often enjoy being in progressive relationships and challenging traditions. This stems from your fear of being tied own down and discomfort with traditions that make no rational sense. This is fine, but do not toy with others’ affection for you out of a need to prove something. You can be in a stable and committed relationship while still being progressive - you need to understand they aren’t mutually exclusive. Moreover, you can be careless with or oblivious to the needs of other people in relationships. Most people have no idea how you feel about them. Take initiative and explicitly let them know. Work on being more attuned to the other person’s needs, even if they feel “lesser” than your own “global humanitarian” ones. Ironic that this needs to be mentioned to a sign that seemingly values equality..

Pisces venus: Learn to set boundaries in your relationships. Don’t let people manipulate you, walk all over you or completely disregard your basic needs and get away with it just because you think you love them/care about them. Setting boundaries will not get in the way of forming relationships/finding Tru Love (if you believe in that). In fact it channels and filters the purest and most transformative forms of love towards you. You also need to stop projecting your idealistic standards onto the people you love - you will start to associate love with disappointment inevitably because most people wont live up to your unrealistic standards. You may not realise how unrealistic they are, but wherever Neptune goes, there is danger of illusion and deception. You also need to put more action into showing people you care because your displays of affection can be too abstract. Just BE there. Finally, stop giving in to escapist tendencies. Don’t fall into temptations. When neptune meets Venus, there is danger of addiction/substance abuse or at best maladaptive daydreaming. You are not doomed. Simply learn to control your temptations. Pisces also co-rules Jupiter so there are overindulgent tendencies. Be proactive. Actively try and catch yourself indulging in escapism and force yourself to snap out of it if you can. Jupiter will keep an eye out for you.

♂ MARS SIGNS:- ♂

Aries mars: Stop being so rash in your decision making! You’ve heard this before and you probably got into trouble many times but you always seem to bounce right back. But if you don’t exercise self restraint and control you will land yourself in irreversible trouble one day. Immediate gratification will never give you the high achievements you so ambitiously seek. You HAVE to learn endurance and patience.

Taurus mars: You HAVE to learn adaptability. Your fixedness and stubbornness work well in persevering and career accomplishment but it also means a lack of malleability, difficulty in bouncing back. You may be tough to break, but once you’re broken it’ll be difficult to put you back together unless you learn to be versatile. Don’t have your mind set on one thing, always have back ups in case things don’t work out. You are not always right and you will end up pushing people away with your rigidity. Learn to compromise. Control your temper when you finally do blow up - this placement has a tendency to push down anger in moments where they can be righteously angry and then build this up until it turns to rage and comes out at completely inappropriate moments. Curb this. Learn to speak up when something angers you right then and there instead of holding on to your anger… Little to no good comes out of this.

Gemini mars: Watch your tongue! With Mercury meeting Mars, you have a propensity for saying hurtful things in arguments. You need to learn to control your crass indifference to others’ emotions when you feel threatened. You need to realise that it’s not acceptable to discard emotional values and principles in order to assert your intellectual superiority e.g. spilling secrets/insulting things the other person is insecure about/using manipulation, etc. There is a tendency to be deceitful and flighty in arguments and life in general here, so you must develop perseverance instead of taking the easier way out. Once you do this, you will be a worthy opponent.

Cancer mars: You MUST learn to stop resorting to, or more often relying on, manipulative tendencies. Mars is in fall when it enters Cancer so it can be more difficult to develop the placement’s strengths and thus there is a tendency to rely on the weaknesses instead. There has to be a way for you to get your point across or win the argument without victimising yourself and demonising the other person/people. You need to learn to assert yourself in the moment express your anger the instant it comes up, instead of holding on to your anger like Taurus Mars. When you do this, your outbursts will seem more reasonable and less confusing and deluded to other people… Make an active effort to be as DIRECT as possible. Say things plainly and explicitly. Soon you will develop more confidence in your assertions and you will feel less defensive about everything. Being rational is very, very hard for this placement when mad which is why you have to start working on this from an early age whether it’s through simple common sense mantras that engage your intellectual mind or taking anger management classes. When you’re angry, the whole world revolves around you. It doesn’t matter to you how the other person feels, you’re blind to this when you blow up despite, or perhaps because of, how empathetic you are generally. All that matters in that moment is that YOU feel hurt. You have to work on being less self-absorbed when irritated, or dangerous things can happen as a result of your blind rage. Learning to prioritise rationality over your own feelings is a must for this placement. Also stop fronting and acting like you’re tougher than you really are… it could land you in deep shit one day if you go looking for trouble to prove your worth. Regardless of how powerless or insecure you feel, your manipulation is maladaptive and must be actively curbed. If and only if you take a proactive stance against this will you start developing confidence from WITHIN, and succeed in all aspects of life regardless of oppositions.

Leo mars: You must learn how to be objective and less self-involved. Simply yelling that you’re the best doesn’t make it true - it in fact conveys self-esteem issues. While you do have a natural confidence, this confidence is highly dependent on the reassurance and praise of others which you manage to constantly receive, so is it really confidence? Your journey to self-actualisation has to begin with developing confidence in your own worth regardless of the attention you get. Also stop being so prideful and rigid, it’s not productive and it’s a waste of time. You’re not always right, that’s a fact - the only way to know if you ARE right in a particular issue is to step back and shove your ego aside and look at the situation from a distance, from different perspectives, etc… THAT is how you know for sure. Learn that letting go and/or considering alternate viewpoints is to your advantage too. Learn to listen to others, accept that they may have better ideas than you. How can you expect any one to believe the whole confidence act if you’re so easily provoked by the tiniest perceived slight?

Virgo mars: Another Mercury-ruled Mars like Gemini, you need to watch your tongue. Stop using the fact that your sharp-tongued criticisms are factually observable as an excuse to berate others, especially if you attack weaknesses they let you see/ told you they’re insecure about. You’re not as mature you think you are when you’re angry, in fact you can be quite relentlessly petty from all the built up restless frustration that comes with being a co-ruler of Mercury. This gives you an immense drive to intellectualise why you’re right… which is also borderline childish. You need to work on your hypocrisy if you expect anyone to take your criticisms seriously/be affected by them, especially when you’re the type to constantly dish out criticism but unable to take any. You also need to work on being more accepting of other people’s approaches - like Leo and Aquarius, you have a hard time believing others know better/more than you or have better ideas and approaches. You have to accept that you’re not the authority on how to do things ‘right’ if you want to achieve personal growth. Zooming in on and obsessing over details isn’t always as efficient as you think it is, this finnicky nitpicking can actually be your worst enemy and a waste of productive time - learn to look at the big picture. The whole is not the sum of its parts.

Libra mars: You MUST learn to be more decisive and straightforward​. Endlessly weighing the pros and cons in tense situations is rarely productive - sometimes a quick, swift decision needs to be made. In order for you to grow as a person, you need to be able to think on your feet. You have a tendency to insert yourself into arguments to act as the “mediator” but fail to reach a concrete solution or conclusion out of fear of ruffling any feathers/escalating the tension or due to getting lost in weighing the situation. Don’t do that, don’t appoint yourself as the mature mediator if you won’t take mature actions. Learn to directly tell someone if you think they’re wrong instead of beating around the bush - chances are, their reactions will be the same. Learn to explicitly express and assert your needs to others instead of dropping hints… The worst that could happen is they ignore it, but that’s almost a given with your passive aggressive approach.

Scorpio mars: You MUST let go of control and stop being so defensive. Like Cancer Mars, you can be easily provoked but not out of feeling hurt, but rather out of paranoia that your privacy is being invaded or the implication that you don’t have as much control over things as you think you do. Guess what, you don’t. The sooner you accept this, the quicker the path to self-actualisation will be. You’re sensitive and hyperaware of power struggles as a result of a deepseated fear of losing the upper hand and being on the lower end of the scale. This may have been spurred by potential feelings of powerlessness early in life. Regardless, you need to let go of your need for control. You need to stop resorting to manipulation or downright ruthlessness to get what you want. Control your emotional impulses that urge you to display dominance… A developed Scorpio Mars won’t need to display it. Thrive on the loss of power rather than fearing it; Scorpio is ruled by Pluto after all, the planet of transformations and shifts in power. Once you start to loosen your grip and become less defensive as a result, you are actually at your best as you are fulfilling your Plutonian purpose of destruction of the self and completely rebuilding a new self from the ashes.

Sagittarius mars: You need to work on your crass indifference to others’ emotions like your sister sign except here this is more impulsive and self-serving. Your bluntness means people can rely on you for your honest opinion, but you use it like a dagger when provoked. You get over it fairly quickly, but you can’t expect others to do so too. You have to be respectful of others’ approach to things - you’re not as accepting as you think you are - and the time it takes for them to heal, don’t expect forgiveness for your (often insincere) apologies, it only makes you look more entitled. You must learn to commit to your projects and not move on to the next interesting thing that catches your eye. You might have an unrivalled enthusiasm for worldly experiences and education, but you lack the perseverance and steadiness required for this. You need to learn to persist even when you feel that your interest is starting to fade. Like Aquarius, you need to practice what you preach if you expect anyone to adopt your views.

Capricorn mars: You must learn when to let go and be inflexible. You pride yourself on self-control, but you hold back from indulging in the merits you get as a reward for your ambition and work ethic. So what’s the point? Do you only do it for pride? Is that the only way you feel important? You must learn to let go and live a little. Stop being so rigid about everything; your need for control and order can be stifling to others. You call yourself a long term planner but where do you see yourself going if you constantly overwork yourself without allowing yourself to enjoy the rewards? You also need to humble yourself down. You may be practical and down to earth, but a confident certainty in your own abilities and knowledge can sometimes manifest as arrogance. You have a God complex that needs to be addressed in your journey to personal growth… You’re so sure that you’re right that you rarely stop and think and consider the other person’s viewpoint without pressure. You’re so concerned with what’s efficient and practical that you always stick to what you know, losing the very objective and logical nature you like to pride yourself on… You must learn to adapt to occasions where things don’t bend your way, where you turn out to be wrong or where you have to experiment with new methods - you have to learn to do all this without resorting to the very level of pettiness you consider yourself above. Rise above this tendency to do whatever to win the argument/ have the last word, it’s childish no matter how you masquerade it. Also be wary of a tendency to step on others to reach the places you want out of a hunger for power… If you want it bad enough you can get there through your own work ethic.

Aquarius mars: You must learn to stop being so inflexible in your views and opinions. You rarely resort to emotional manipulation or rage when angry, not out of respect for others but out of a HUGE superiority complex. You think you’re ‘above’ that like Capricorn Mars but instead of being hypocritical by ending up resorting to the very pettiness you think you’re above, you simply cut the person off and disappear from their life if your values were incompatible and you couldn’t convert them to your side. Ironic considering the tolerance and open-mindedness you constantly preach to others. Learn to humble yourself down and stop thinking your opinions are always right or that you know more than others. Like your sister sign leo, you need to learn to accept that others may know more than you/may be right. Just because you disagree with someone on something doesn’t mean they can’t be in your life.

Pisces mars: Toughen the fuck up and grow a backbone. You need to stop letting people walk all over you and pretend it’s for ~selfless~ reasons when really you do it because you loooove wallowing in self pity. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and relying on escapism. Snap out of it. You MUST be proactive and combat the disillusion that comes with a neptunian Mars. Stop relying on external sources to deal with difficult situations. Face it head on for once. You’ll be relieved. You’ll get through it sooner if you do. Do everything you can to stay in touch with reality. Distract yourself with lists or mentally/physically demanding activities. Don’t let yourself slip away. Stick to plans for once. Focus inward on your emotions to find the root/cause behind certain emotions. You MUST learn to set boundaries. Once you start focusing on yourself and set hard limits instead of excusing others’ actions, asserting yourself will be much easier.



*This is based on the archetypes and basic traits of the zodiac signs. Maintain an objective approach when reading these.. if a description seems off, remember to look holistically at your whole chart. Obviously I don’t know you personally, but astrology is inherently neutral even if my interpretation isn’t and just because YOU don’t express a certain trait does not mean it is not a trait of said sign. So don’t bother with the “not all ___” rants lmao save your energy.

**Astrology is not deterministic, nothing is set in stone just because you have a certain placement - don’t try to justify detrimental behaviours using this excuse e.g. ‘i have a Scorpio Mars and Moon so I can’t help but rely on manipulative tendencies :/’ which is laughable because 1) it’s a shitty excuse 2) it just reinforces underdeveloped traits that discourage any personal growth. You have some degree of control over your behaviours, use that to your advantage.

***I excluded Sun & the outer planet sign placements from this particular post as the description would be too generic and generalised due to the nature of the post. They will be added on the Aspects version of this post as aspects are more personalised and relevant when it comes to the Sun and outer planets.

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where marinette flirts
  • so alya told her to start flirting with adrien if she liked him so much, and the magazines give her step-by-step guides with 15 ~Chill~ Ways to Flirt With Your Crush Without Totally Embarrassing Yourself, so there’s no way this can go horribly wrong, right?
  • okay but marinette has to be realistic, when has anything ever gone right for her?
  • 1. like their instagram and watch their snapchat: okay but marinette already does this, she follows all of adrien’s social media and collects his takes from photoshoots and knows his schedule, and honestly, there’s really nothing he does that she doesn’t know about it? the whole point of watching his snapchat and liking his instagram would be for him to notice her, but it’s not like she can tell him that she does this, because that would be creepy right? but for the most part she thinks she has this part down pat. 
  • 2. make eye contact: and this one is damn near impossible. every time she looks at adrien, and he looks back, her heart turns into a puddle and she wants to melt. but okay, the magazine said to make eye contact, so that’s maintain eye contact, right? don’t look away as soon as he catches her looking. okay, she tells herself. i can do this.
  • adrien and marinette spend the rest of the week in multiple staring contests. alya and nino are extremely confused, but the game catches on, and soon the whole class spends Madame Bustier’s lectures in staring contests with the rest of their classmates. there’s a running scoreboard, and chloe and alya are surprisingly good at the game, which isn’t that surprisingly at all considering how many glare-showdowns they’ve had throughout the year. 
  • adrien just wants to beat marinette once, and how is it fair she’s so good at this??? marinette just wants to know why it’s not working; she hasn’t gone through dry eyes, blurry vision, and headaches for nothing. at this point, she’s read to pour Johnson’s No More Tears shampoo directly in her eyes to get them back to normal. 
  • 3. let your emojis do the talking: 🍆😛:eggplant: :yum:
  • alya sent it from marinette’s phone, and marinette is too busy dying to say anything about it. adrien still buys her eggplants for a month because he thinks they’re her favorite.
  • 4. wave and say “hi” when they walk by: marinette had to quit when her over-aggressive wave nailed nino in the nose and broke it. alya called him “raccoon eyes” for weeks. it didn’t matter though, adrien didn’t even wave back (though it might have been because his best friend was bleeding on the school steps). 
  • 5. invite your crush to hang out as a group: seems easy enough, right? she invites alya, nino, and adrien over for a study group at her house, but alya and nino cancel at the last minute to give her “some alone time with adrien”. only it doesn’t work out that way because she’s forced to actually learn physics when adrien notices she had some troubles with it and tutors her for the rest of the night. 
  • 6. say something simple, then keep the conversation going: marinette had trouble talking to adrien in the first place, so it was a miracle if she even got something simple out. adrien saves her the trouble anyway when he complicates her cat sweater, but it doesn’t go the way she imagined because it devolves into a heated argument over whether chat noir or ladybug was better, and oh my god, how could she be arguing with her crush over how much she sucked?
  • 7. remember what they tell you, and bring it up later: so adrien refuses to speak to her since she said ladybug sucked, and marinette is panicking internally 24/7. she makes him a hat to apologize because it’s summer and it’s blue, and when he asks her how she knew blue was his favorite color, she just smiles and tells him she read it in a magazine article. 
  • adrien looks touched either way while marinette wishes she could sink through the floor because she’d gone nearly a whole year without adrien knowing she read magazine articles about him. 
  • 8. give them a sincere compliment: 
  • adrien: “so what do we know about penguins already for this biology presentation?”
    marinette: “penguins are inefficient walkers…. they’re cute…. but not cuter than you.”
    adrien: “…thanks, marinette.”
  • adrien: “thanks, marinette. you’re so helpful.”
    marinette: “that’s me. i’m always helpful. i’ll always try to help you. you know, like… i’d totally hold a revolving door for you. i know that’s counterproductive, but you’re worth it.”
  • adrien: “god, they never get all the makeup off after a shoot.”
    marinette: “you know, i would really be okay with seeing you without makeup. that’s how much i like you.”
    adrien: “what?”
    marinette: “what?”
  • 9. casually touch their arm when you’re talking: marinette casually strokes adrien’s arm during their next study session.
    adrien: “… why are you touching my arm?”
    marinette: “i’m checking the seam work.”
    adrien: “….that’s my skin though.”
    marinette: “shh, don’t disrupt a designer at work.”
  • 10. offer them a fry: okay, but marinette doesn’t particularly like fries, so she figured she’d find another way to work this in. it happens one morning while she’s about to go to town on her croissant when she overhears adrien mentioning to nino that he’d forgot his breakfast, so she shoves the food in front of him and rushes away. alya can’t stop laughing at agreste’s startled expression when marinette shoved a croissant in his face without prompt. regardless, alya shares her own breakfast when marinette admits she didn’t have anything else to eat.
  • 11. give them something thoughtful: marinette buys adrien a ladybug-spotted scarf because she knows he likes the superhero. he protests when she gives it to him, but she just shrugs and said she owed him one anyway after dissing his favorite superhero before. 
  • the next day he gives her a matching chat noir one.
  • 12. tease them: she can barely keep a straight face when she teases adrien in front of nino and alya about always smelling like camembert. she even buys him three cheese wheels one day, but he only flushes darkly as he shoves them in his bag. she wants to apologize in case she hurt his feelings, but later that day, she notices that the cheese is gone. 
  • man, he must really like his cheese, she thinks in awe, and spends the rest of the day trying to figure out why adrien kept glaring at his bag during class. 
  • 13. steal their hat and put it on your head: adrien doesn’t wear hats, so she stole nino’s instead. adrien spent the rest of the day trying to set her up with his best friend. 
  • 14. ruffle their hair: marinette ruffles adrien’s hair when she walks into the classroom one morning. some strands end up tangled in her bracelet, and the two spend the remainder of class in the nurse’s office as she tries to cut them loose. 
  • 15. sit in their lap: marinette is a little hesitant to try this one, but alya ends up taking matters into her own hands and pushes marinette into adrien’s lap one day while the three of them and nino were visiting a cafe for lunch. marinette is flustered and apologizes profusely, and she finally finds the courage to look into his eyes. but instead of angry!agreste, she seems wide, shocked green eyes as adrien begins to laugh uncontrollably. marinette starts to giggle and shakes her head and it’s not until she looks at him again that she realizes… this whole situation seems really familiar…
  • “…chat noir?” she asks suddenly.
  • “what?” adrien asks. 
  • “what?” alya asks.
  • “what?” nino asks.
  • “oh my god,” marinette says and dies.

Needless to say, flirting was not her forte. But hey, she still got the man in the end, right? …. alright, it’s a work and progress, but still. 

listen, the studyblr community can be a wonderful place - but there’s this emphasis on absolute perfection that really doesn’t help a lot of students dealing with other issues on top of their studies. here are five unconventional study tips that might not fit the studyblr aesthetic but have helped me get straight as whilst learning to live with mental health and family problems too!


1. don’t study whilst commuting

i walk to school, so posts about studying on the bus just aren’t helpful - i don’t have the option to do that! even if i’m taking the train somewhere, the last thing on my mind is studying. i’m thinking about my bed and how early it is and whether or not my coffee is cool enough to drink without burning myself yet. not all of us can start working the second we’re awake, and that’s okay!

instead: record your lessons and listen to them as you travel!

even if you’re not paying attention, you’ll remember more than you think! this is especially useful for languages - i recorded myself reading a few essays and listened to them as i walked, which made noticing grammatical errors so much easier!

2. don’t rewrite all your notes

i love the studyblr aesthetic as much as anyone, but i honestly don’t have the time to write out pages and pages of notes in the hope of gaining a few followers. of course it’s nice to have pretty-looking notes, but when you have a huge list of tasks to do, it can become a way of procrastinating work that’s actually needed for a grade.

instead: organise your class notes!

check the material you’ll study before the lesson! if you’re into the brush lettering aesthetic, write out or print titles off ahead of class so you can stick them on your page without having to waste valuable lesson time drawing them. plus, knowing what you’re going to study before you actually come to it means you can prepare a list of questions to ask the teacher and improve your understanding of the subject! this way, you’ll have organised, clear notes from the beginning, so you won’t have to copy anything out at home.

3. don’t buy expensive stationery

i know everyone seems to have those tombow brush pens and leuchtturm journals. as someone who can’t afford them, trust me when i say i get how it feels. but spending money on expensive products (especially ones you don’t know how to use) is just counterproductive - your grades won’t magically go up if you start shopping at muji.

instead: try budget alternatives!

would you buy a £90 contour kit if you’d never used foundation before? the same goes for stationery! substitute for cheaper products from your local stationery stores whilst you get a feel for what’s helpful for you, not what anyone else has. for example, i tried so many types of pens before realising that my writing’s nicest with gel pens, so now i let myself get more expensive ones - but i didn’t waste more than £5 figuring this out because i’m #cheap. this list of popular studyblr dupes is constantly being added to if you really need to try something, but stressing about your stationery is not going to help you in the slightest.

4. don’t worry too much about being organised

look, we’d all like to be organised, but i’m an adult who’s lived with depression since i was thirteen, and i know it’s not always possible to have that pinterest-ready study den. sometimes your homework will be done on a bed that’s not been made in weeks of it’s going to be done at all, and that’s okay.

instead: do what you can.

had a bad day? stick on some guns n roses and do the work later. too exhausted to function? just finish that last maths problem and go to bed. it’s okay to not have a picture perfect lifestyle - most of the people who post those photos don’t have it either. just do what you have to do to get through the week.

5. don’t ignore your mental health

there’s such a weird culture of perfectionism here and it’s so damaging! of course no one has to post about their personal lives on their studyblrs - but please don’t let that lead you to believe it’s not important. this mentality of “everything is fine and i must be perfect” isn’t healthy.

instead: talk about how you feel!

it doesn’t have to be on your studyblr, but if you’re feeling suffocated by pressure to achieve, or you think you’re depressed, or you’re just going through a tough time and need to vent, talk to someone! bottling things up is not a healthy way to live life - believe me, i’ve tried it. it doesn’t work. there are so many impressionable young people here and we need to stop acting like our studies are all we can ever be.


i’m not trying to “call out” anyone who finds the minimalist note taking and study devotion helpful - everyone here is different, and i’m glad it works for you! but not all of us can do that, so this is for the people who can’t.

anonymous asked:

Hey Emma, could you give me some productivity tips?

Hello! Here are a few:

  • clear desk, clear mind - I like to organise things before I start working. If things are messy, I get a little preoccupied and procrastinate even more. My suggestion is clear your desk, sort everything you’ll need to study and get on!
  • the two-minute rule - if a task that needs to be done takes less than two minutes, just do it. My dad has often suggested that this is a great way to sort out your priorities and so far it has worked for me. Things like checking my emails, cross off events from my planner, file something away don’t take long but get you in the mood for productivity. As they say “object in motion, stay in motion”.
  • break your time up - schedule your study time and any breaks you need to take. This helps structure your day and acts as a motivation to get things done. Especially if you can reward yourself at the end! Check out my printables for organising your time!
  • leave your phone alone - Like most people, I use my phone constantly but when I’m trying to work, it is best to leave it alone. Out of sight, out of mind. Try leaving it on silent and behind you so you aren’t tempted to pick it up after every beep. Use your break times to check it.
  • find your top three to five priorities - seeing a long list of things to do is usually, for some people, kind of counterproductive. Figure out the main things that need to be done and work on those. If you’re able to complete those main things, you’ll feel like you’ve accomplished the day’s necessities and may even want to complete some more.
  • try using a mindmap instead of a to-do list - apparently using a mindmap layout instead of a traditional list can help boost productivity. It is a little more funky way to see all your outstanding tasks and might not look as overwhelming as a super long list.
  • wear headphones - you don’t have to always listen to things but it can help block out any noise that can distract you. If you’re someone that likes some music, try songs with little or no words. This is a great playlist by Spotify.
  • don’t multitask - as much as you think you can do it, trying to multitask usually ends up in a confused mess and takes twice the time. Stick to one task at a time. If you think of something you need to do, write it down and do it later.
  • change things up - doing the same things in the same place can get boring. Make the effort every now and then to change where you’re studying or how you’re studying. This can include moving your studying from the desk to the kitchen table for a change of scenery or making flash cards instead of annotating your notes. Studying with a family member or friends is a fun way to get some work done!
  • be positive - most people have times when they just don’t want to study or anything, it is natural. However, it is not worth sitting staring at your books in an unmotivated mood just waiting to feel inspired. If you’re not feeling it, do something else for a while. Come back to it a bit later and have another go. Usually walking away and coming back is all you need to feel more productive.
  • focus on 20-30 minute periods - generally, we lose focus after a while so taking regular breaks can help give you chance to relax and refocus. Apps like Forest allow you to set a timer and will give you off your phone at the same time. Obviously, if you’re being productive, don’t suddenly cut that off because it is “time for a break”.
  • divide and conquer - figure out what is the overall task that you need to do and split it into manageable parts. For instance, with an essay the aim is to write it! Divide it into planning out what you want to write, any references you need, summarising a final draft and then writing each paragraph. By dividing bigger tasks into actionable parts you can reduce the obstacles and get through each part in a more timely manner.
  • make the effort to refocus - if you’re finding something boring and you’re unfocused, walk away for 5 minutes, get a drink and come back. If you’re really struggling, change topics for a while. Find a point where you can finish and start doing something else that is productive. 

Hope that helps :-)

6 HABITS FOR MAXIMUM PRODUCTIVITY

These are the 6 habits that I try to practice in order to be my most productive self.

✔️1. Healthy Habit Tracker

The best way to be healthy, both mentally and physically, is to track your habits. This will help you to monitor when you complete the daily tasks you have set out to do. For example how much water you have drunk, if you got enough sleep and whether you have done exercise. This can also be extended to things like reading or doing certain daily school tasks which are pretty routine.

✔️2. Write It ALL Down

It helps to have everything written down that you need to do, and how much you need to get done in a day. Being able to see all of your to-do’s in one place each day will help you keep tabs on what you still have to do and the time frame in which you should be doing it.

✔️3. Plan Ahead

Make sure you aren’t leaving things for the last minute. In my opinion, if you want to be the most efficient version of yourself, you need to plan in advance. Set aside time each day to plan the next few days or week ahead. Try as much as you can to diarise certain tasks and then plan how you are going to stick to them. By having deadlines you will motivate yourself to stick to them, and can get so much more done in a day than if you play it by ear. Trust me. [tip: reward yourself for particularly difficult tasks — like getting some new washi tapes]

✔️4. Keep Your Journal on You

Always remember to keep your journal in the same place. I always leave mine on my desk next to my bag, so if I’m in a hurry I can never forget it. This may sound silly but making a habit of always having your journal on you is important as you never know when you will need to add something to your list, or to reference your journal. theres no point having an organised planner but you never have it on you to reference, which means you may forget half of whats in it.

✔️5. One Hour of Admin

No one likes to do admin. But its a necessity and putting it off will only make it worse. Set aside one hour of your day, without any distractions, to get all your admin done. Be it making calls and getting small things at home sorted that have been nagging you, or filing notes, and even getting things in your room in order. This would be the time to get your life in order, without doing anything that really ticks off big items.


✔️6. Treat Yo Self.

Im a solid believer in treating yourself. Long afternoon naps and strong cups of coffee, my two favourites. While treating yourself may not increase your productivity directly, and if taken too far could counter it, but by taking some tim to look after yourself you will feel less stressed and will be able to function at a higher level. I know that when I get too stressed I become forgetful and worry more about not getting things done than actually spending time on getting those things done, which is just plain counterproductive. So I invest a couple minutes a day to treat myself. It can even be a nice facial and doing my eyebrows, to having coffee with a friend at my favourite cafe. By looking after your own mental health you will be doing so much more for yourself than just having a few minutes a day of treating yourself, you will foster a healthier and happier mindset that can help you excel.

anonymous asked:

1) welcome back! You were missed! 2) Do you think certain MBTI types are prone to certain problematic behaviors and 3) if so which ones really bother you or you dislike?

Thanks. Yes, certain MBTI types show trends when it comes to problematic behaviors. My top one for each cognitive function:

High Te (ENTJ, ESTJ, INTJ, ISTJ): The Sledgehammer

Summary: Uses a one-size-fits-all solution for different sized problems.

Example:

  • Using brute force to power through situations that might require more patience, finesse, and reflection.
  • “This worked great for me, you’re dumb not to do the same.”
  • “Don’t pursue a career in art, you’re going to be poor. Go into business, law, or medicine.”

Impact: The problem with being a hammer is that you’ll start to see everything and everyone as a nail. It also makes people feel like their opinions and points of view are less valuable than yours. It also falsely presumes that the choice which yields the best output objectively (example: the job that yields the most money) is the best. It negates the reality that people have different indicators for success because there isn’t only one correct answer to every question.

Solution: Incorporate subjective variables into your objective logical frameworks.

High Ti (INTP, ISTP, ENTP, ESTP): The Hamster Wheel

Summary: Invalidates everything in a perpetual logic loop.

Example:

  • “Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?” x1,000,000

Impact: You succeed at winning debates but fail at solving problems. Whether or not you can rationalize the validity of money doesn’t take away from the fact you still have bills to pay at the end of the day. Whether or not you can rationalize the value of grades and traditional education doesn’t take away from the fact you’ll be denied entry into many careers without the right qualifications. Whether or not you can rationalize that having children is a logical idea or not doesn’t take away from the fact that many people aspire to be parents. The validity of other people’s goals, dreams, concerns, and issues are not contingent on whether or not they can explain them to your satisfaction.

Solution: Create solutions, answers, and actions for every hole you poke in other people’s logic– not more problems.

High Fe (ENFJ, ESFJ, INFJ, ISFJ): The Guilt Trip

Summary: Guilt trip. verb. to make (someone) feel guilty, especially in order to induce them to do something.

Example: Self-explanatory.

Impact: This is manipulation. You’ll get on people’s nerves and make them miserable because you’ve forced them into situations they didn’t willingly want to enter or participate in of their own accord. Secondly, you haven’t provided solid concrete reasons and logic for why someone should do something, it’s an argument made without taking into consideration the other person’s comfort or needs. 

Solution: Explain clearly and transparently why you want someone to do something (yes, it’s really that simple).

High Fi (INFP, ISFP, ESFP, ISFP): The Cloudy Mirror

Summary: Judges people for things they don’t want to be judged for.

Example:

  • “I wish society wouldn’t judge me for not wanting to have children and not wanting to be a housewife.” [Proceeds to judge people who want to have children and want to be a housewife]
  • “Not everyone wants to be rich in life, we all have different definitions of success that should be respected.” [Doesn’t respect people who want to be rich in life, automatically think these people are greedy sell-outs]

Impact: This is hypocrisy. It also comes off as illogical and presumptuous when people’s intents and motivations are automatically filled in by you. Some people buy sports cars because they actually have a passion for driving– they’re not necessarily materialistic. Some people seek high-paying careers at the expense of personal passions because they have obligations and goals they’d like to reach– they’re not necessarily greedy. Some people like traditional gender roles in relationships because that’s their personal choice– they’re not necessarily oppressed and/or close-minded. 

Solution: Accept that “conformity” in behavior, goals, aspirations, appearance, etc. doesn’t equate to misery and/or lack of authenticity.

High Ne (ENTP, ENFP, INTP, INFP): The Whiplash*

Summary: Chronic quitting and the inability to commit due to impatience and lack of discipline.

  • *Whiplash: noun. a neck injury due to forceful, rapid back-and-forth movement of the neck, like the cracking of a whip.

Example:

  • “I’m going to do A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J … Z!” [Does none of it]
  • “Let’s do this. Let’s do that. Let’s go back to doing this. Let’s go back to doing that.”
  • “I want to have six-pack abs! I’m going to be SHREDDED.” [Exercises and eats well for one day then goes back to bad habits the next day]

Impact: People stop taking you seriously because you can’t execute on your promises, it dilutes the weight of your words and it corrodes respect (ex: “Yeah, uh-huh, sure you will, buddy.”). No one is immediately an expert at something the first try– seeds take time to grow and you’re no exception to this rule. Developing expertise and skills require time, commitment, and consistency. Results don’t happen overnight.

Solution: Underpromise and overdeliver– don’t overpromise and underdeliver.

High Ni (INTJ, INFJ, ENTJ, ENFJ): The Nutcracker

Summary: Hits people below the belt using knowledge those people shared against them.

Example:

  • Someone is insecure about their weight, you insult their weight.
  • Someone is insecure about their skin color, you make a comment about their skin color.
  • Someone tells you a secret, you expose it.

Impact: People won’t confide in you for fear you’ll use what they told you against them. This creates barriers to having close and meaningful friendships because people will view and treat you like a ticking time bomb they can’t let their guard down around. Understand that certain topics and comebacks are off-limits no matter how you feel about the person at the moment; certain words and actions have a lasting impact on your relationships. Memories fade but scars last.

Solution: The nuclear option should be your last resort, never your first.

High Se (ESTP, ESFP, ISTP, ISFP): The Blindfire*

Summary: Leaps before they look.

  • *Blindfire: noun. The term referring to the act of operating a firearm without looking at what one is shooting at.

Example:

Impact: Your lack of foresight and lack of planning will set you back even further from your goals because immediate rewards and instant gratification often only provide short-term benefits that rarely last. There’s a proverb that’s applicable here: “measure twice, cut once” which means that investing time and energy up front to do it correctly the first time will save a ton of time, money, energy, and grief later down the line.

Solution: Stop, drop, and roll think if the path you’re on actually leads to where you want to go.

High Si (ISTJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ESFJ): The Helicopter

Summary: Micromanaging, nitpicking people to death.

Example:

  • “Write the email but let me review and edit before you send it.”
  • “What are you doing right now? Where are you going? When are you coming back?”
  • “I noticed when you loaded the dishwasher you put the spoons and forks in before the pots and pans, you should put the pots and pans in before the spoons and forks.”

Impact: Half the internet is writing posts complaining about you, the other half is writing posts complaining about having to read all the posts complaining about you. Micromanagement saps people of confidence and motivation, it also increases the chance that the bad thing you’re trying to prevent will actually happen. Additionally, you’ll feel paranoid and anxious that something will go disastrously wrong if you’re gone which results in burnout because you’ll always need to be there to keep an eye on things. This is counterproductive for everyone involved.

Solution: Choose your battles wisely– focus on the “what” (the goal) and not the “how” (the method).

You wanna know what I find real cute?

I find it reeeeaaal cute that all of these aphobic exclusionists (especially the ones that aren’t actually ace themselves, pfsshh) like to spout that, “If you are Ace and are ‘Actually Lgbt+’ then we’re not talking about you, hon. You are Lgbt+ but only for your same gender attraction/non assigned by birth gender identity. The lack of sexual attraction isn’t a true orientation worth protecting. It’s a TMI modifier, you’ll see in time, you experience no real discrimination for being ace. Only for your real Lgbt+ identity! ”, thinking it’s a flawless, righteous thing to say to the “actual Lgbt+” people who are Asexual that they claim to care about and want to protect.

Honestly, not only does that type of answer sound condescending and doesn’t make any of their aphobia hurt less but do you know what it sounds like to me? DO YOU KNOW WHAT THAT SOUND LIKE TO ME, A DEMI-PANROMANTIC ASEXUAL WOC?!

IT SOUNDS LIKE WHEN WHITE FEMINISTS WHO IGNORE INTERSECTIONALITY SAY, “WE’RE ALL WOMEN AT THE END OF THE DAY AND OPPRESSED HARDER FOR BEING WOMAN SO TO TRULY FIGHT FOR FEMINISM YOU HAVE TO PUT YOUR WOMANHOOD BEFORE YOUR ETHNICITY AND LEAVE RACE OUT OF IT”, AND JUST LIKE WHEN BLACK MEN WHO CONTRIBUTE TO MISOGYNOIR SAY, WE’RE ALL BLACK AT THE END OF THE DAY AND OPPRESSED HARDER FOR BEING BLACK SO TO TRULY FIGHT FOR BLACK EQUALITY, YOU HAVE TO LEAVE YOUR GENDER AND YOUR FEMINISM AT THE DOOR.” THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT THE FUCK THE WHOLE, “YOUR LBGT+ IDENTITY AND ASEXUAL IDENTITY ARE/HAVE TO BE EXPRESSED SEPARATE(LY)” ARGUMENT SOUNDS LIKE TO ME!

And I’m about to tell you why arguments like that are ignorant and harmful and full of shit, if you’re one not smart enough to put two and two together.

I AM A BLACK WOMAN, A WOMAN WHO IS BLACK. IF I GO INTO A FEMINIST EQUALITY SPACE, MY BLACKNESS DOESN’T DISAPPEAR. IF I GO INTO A BLACK EQUALITY SPACE, MY WOMAN-NESS DOESN’T VANISH. I’M NEVER ONE AND THEN THE OTHER, I’M BOTH AT THE SAME TIME AND THAT’S NEVER GONNA CHANGE OR NOT AFFECT HOW I’M TREATED BY SOCIETY!

Similarly…

I AM PANROMANTIC AND ASEXUAL, AN ASEXUAL WHO IS PANROMANTIC. WHEN I’M FIGHTING FOR LGBT+ ACCEPTANCE AND VISIBILITY, MY ASEXUALITY DOESN’T DISAPPEAR. WHEN I’M FIGHTING FOR ASEXUAL ACCEPTANCE AND VISIBILITY, MY PANROMANTIC-NESS DOESN’T VANISH. I’M NEVER ONE AND THEN THE OTHER, I’M BOTH AT THE SAME TIME AND THAT’S NEVER GONNA CHANGE OR NOT AFFECT HOW I’M TREATED BY SOCIETY!

Holy shit!!! Why is that so hard for so many people to get??? Oh wait, I know why. IT’S BECAUSE QUITE A FEW OF THESE APHOBES AND EXCLUSIONIST ARE NEITHER WOC NOR “REAL LGBT+” ASEXUALS. THEY DON’T HAVE EXPERIENCES BEING TOLD SHIT THAT’S BASICALLY EQUIVALENT TO, “NEGLECT AND LEAVE HALF OF YOUR IDENTITY AT HOME, YOUR EXISTENCE COMPLICATES THINGS AND MAKES PEOPLE UNCOMFORTABLE”. THEY DON’T KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE TO EXIST AS EITHER. HOWEVER, THEY STILL THINK THEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO IGNORE INTERSECTIONALITY AND TO SPEAK DOWN TO PEOPLE WHO ARE BOTH WOC AND ASEXUAL, LIKE ME, TO MAINTAIN AND ENFORCE THEIR OWN VIEWS AND IDEAS OF WHAT THE LGBT+ COMMUNITY LOOKS LIKES AND INCLUDES.

Damn ain’t that some shit, huh? In other news, I can’t wait for my point of view to be ignored and to be dismissed as just another “Angry Black Woman™” for bringing to light of how aphobes and exclusionists treat Asexual WOC like trash, regardless of their romantic orientation or gender identity. (Seriously, don’t even get me started on the amount of non-black exclusionists I’ve seen pull the, “Headcanonning Black female characters as Asexual desexualizes/oversexualizes them!!1!” card. They aren’t Black and they don’t know shit about the inner workings of Black politics or how misogynoir affects how Black women are view in relation to sexuality but they still act like they understand all and are helping, get the fuck out of here). So yeah, sorry not sorry for this long ass post but at first I was just tilted and now I’m hot about it. Aphobes and exclusionists are so fucking ignorant and counterproductive. Yikes.

7 Things INFPs Should Stop Doing if They Want to be Successful

A lot of things determine how successful you’ll be: the career you choose to pursue; the company you keep; the things you love doing; whether you possess a burning desire to prove other people wrong. There’s no one-size-fits-all prescription. This is good, because we all define success in different ways.

For idealistic INFPs, success often means having the freedom to live a moral, beautiful, and virtuous life. Success in the conventional sense (power, prestige, money) doesn’t matter as much as pursuing your passions, expressing yourself creatively, and growing without restraint.

Unfortunately for INFPs, these idealist qualities can be difficult to manage in the real world. The career fields you are naturally suited for (the arts, counseling, education) aren’t always respected, and others may not understand the “higher goals” you seek to achieve. In work and in life, you are acutely aware that others are judging you against standards that clash with your value system, which cheapens the experience for you. Even if you are objectively successful, you might not feel it because success, for an INFP, feels like an all-or-nothing event. You are notoriously hard on yourself for not always living up to the standards you promote.

So how can INFPs feel successful and satisfied with their careers and lives? The answer lies in doing less, not more. Here are seven recommendations which could help you lead an authentically successful life, whatever your goals.

1: Stop living according to the expectations of other people

If you want to shape and live your own successful life, you will always end up disappointing someone. Parents, partners, bosses, colleagues, friends - at some point, they will all tell you to knuckle down, get a secure job, go for the promotion, or go for some other outcome that doesn’t feel right to you. Trying to meet other people’s expectations is a sure-fire way to get drained, disconnected, and lost in the crowd. INFPs experience success by focusing on their own ideals, not by becoming something they’re not.

It’s horrible to disappoint others, especially if you are wary of conflict. But remember, it is simply not in your nature to conform. You will always be much happier being true to yourself. Dare to stop living according to other people’s expectations and start living it your way instead.

2: Stop going wide (go deep)

Being successful in life has a lot to do with clarifying what really matters to you and giving those priorities the time they deserve. You have to focus, otherwise there’s a risk you will get distracted by multiple endeavors. INFPs in particular have a tendency towards the dilettante, always trying new things and getting restless easily.

While it’s great to leave the door open to new possibilities, it’s equally important to narrow the focus onto the one or two areas that you really care about. Successful people don’t experience specializing as a restriction, but as a permission to go into the depths of a goal. Whether you have a business idea, an interesting hobby, or a potential relationship that you’d like to nurture, if you are completely dedicated to it, you stand a better chance of being successful than if your attention is scattered over several playing fields.

3: Stop waiting for the perfect moment

Waiting around for the perfect timing to go after your goals is counterproductive and hostile to your success. That’s because holding out for a stars-aligning “perfect moment” is a type of procrastination; it’s a stall. As Neil Gaiman once said, “If you only write when you’re inspired you may be a fairly decent poet, but you’ll never be a novelist because you’re going to have to make your word count today and those words aren’t going to wait for you whether you’re inspired or not.” That piece of advice applies to anything. A bad job won’t get better just because you wait around for a new boss to take over. A bad relationship won’t turn into a great relationship just because you tolerate your partner’s inadequacies, giving the relationship more effort than it possibly deserves.

Procrastination is an untamed beast that rages wildly in INFPs, but the fact is, you’re going to have to work for your success. Why wait to start that journey? For tips and insights on dealing with procrastination, check out the Ted Talk from master procrastinator Tim Urban.

4: Stop believing in miracles

Believing in fate or miracles is really the desire to sweeten one of life’s bitterest lessons: that if we want something to happen, we’re going to wake up every day with purpose and make it happen. Success overnight is a myth. It involves a lot of hard work and effort.

Rare talent and extreme giftedness does not spare you from this unpalatable truth. Even Mozart went through years of rigorous, tedious practice before he became a master musician. If you want to be successful, you’re going to have to take the game of success seriously. You’ll have to go all-in at 100 percent.

5: Stop trying to control so much

Some things in your life you can control. Most of it, you can’t. That’s a difficult message for an idealist INFP to handle, since you feel compelled to make the world a better place. There’s a tendency to believe that you raise other people to your own high standards or control certain situations that simply cannot be influenced. And the frustrating thing is, you feel safe when you are in control and utterly exhausted when you are not. That sets you up for disappointment, because control does not really exist, except perhaps in the mind.

If, like many INFPs, you have a tendency to behave like a backseat driver, you probably need to work on balancing your high ideals with the realities of everyday life. You can certainly control your own independent destiny, but you can’t control people or the minutiae of situations for your own sense of safety and worth. Without resolving this conflict, you will never feel happy or successful, and you may become paralyzed and confused about what to do with your life.

6: Stop giving all your time to people who will not take you further

Motivational speaker Jim Rohn famously said that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with. No matter how much you try to live life your own way, sooner or later, the people with whom you spend most of the time contribute to what you become.

For idealistic and value-driven INFPs, this presents a major problem. You tend to choose your friends carefully, looking for people whose values are very similar to your own. Like-minded people can certainly offer wise counsel and make you feel safe, but can you learn from people who share your views, opinions, and values? Will these people challenge your decisions or push you out of your comfort zone?

What you really need, is a connection with people with different perspectives whose ideas rub up against your own. These people can pressure-test your choices and nudge you off the path of least resistance towards a place where you where you can learn, grow and make a bigger difference.

7: Stop mistrusting your instinct

As an INFP, you instinctively know when something you’re doing feels wrong. You may not know why something is off in your life, but you definitely know that it is. This level of self-awareness is the reason why you learn so quickly, and why you are so open-minded and flexible in all aspects of your life. It’s also the reason why you feel so out of place when ploughing a path that wasn’t made for you.

The only thing that separates a successful INFP from a less-successful INFP, is that the first person figured out when she was flogging a dead horse and trusted her gut instincts enough to try something else - even if the change seemed unfamiliar and crazy. When INFPs take action, they know immediately if their instinct was right. Your intuition is a strength that can often lead to better consequences, so give it the respect it deserves.

Final Thoughts

If your life isn’t as successful as you’d like it to be right now, there’s always an alternative. You can always choose to do something else. For INFPs, that usually means living in congruence with your values. Of all the types, you have the strongest need to act authentically and will never be happy unless you are true to yourself.

Of course, there’s always the possibility that your options are discouraging - at certain points, we all face moving from one set of problems to a different set of problems, none of which are particularly exhilarating. But the fact remains, you have a choice. If you stop believing that you have a choice, you automatically become a victim and feel helpless. INFPs in particular have to be careful that their idealism does not turn against them. If it does, you will never achieve goals or make changes for fear that you will never find the “perfect” career, lifestyle, creative endeavor, or person.

Ultimately, success for INFPs depends on you finding ways to honor your deeply held values while managing the constraints of everyday life. Accepting that life is full of shortcomings and compromises is difficult when you hold such lofty ideals, but it will help you to feel more effective and fulfilled. You have plenty of success qualities - self-awareness, intuition, empathy, adaptability, curiosity, open-mindedness - how you choose to apply them, is up to you.

concept: Aliens who have absolutely no cultural or personal use for humor as a concept, but are very adept at figuring out socio-linguistic systems and how to manipulate them. Being funny makes humans more comfortable and easier to negotiate with, and it’s easy enough once you familiarize yourself with a particular culture and set your speech synthesizers to the correct setting. 

and i mean sure eventually they’re great at it, but at some point in time a group of haggard aliens in a room somewhere compare notes on irony, hyperbole, and cultural references, with one exhausted individual clicking “No, Gxiiijhux VIII, puns are a no-go, puns are counterproductive, I don’t care if Susan emitted optimal pleasure decibels, everyone else in that room hated you.” 

🔮Tarotscopes🔮 May 2017

Aries

This is the perfect time for you to get a jumpstart on your passions. Use this month to take the appropriate steps to manifest that idea that you’ve been toying with in your head, because it’s a good one! You may feel a little self-conscious about what others will think, but rest assured that the idea is brilliant!

Taurus

The Wheel of Fortune is turning giving out doses of luck, but as with all luck it can be a toss up as to whether it is good or bad. If you continue your self-destructive behaviour and proceed to feed your indulgences and addictions, chances are the Wheel won’t spin in your favour. If there is something specific that you want to accomplish then use this month to straighten up your act to influence the luck given by the Wheel.

Gemini

May will bring a lot of changes for Gemini so buckle up and enjoy the ride! Brace yourself as things you previously thought would happen won’t happen as you have expected. The Universe has heard your cries and wishes and is in the processes of delivering what you seek. If you start to become overwhelmed this month due to the changes, take a day or two for yourself to recharge your batteries.


Cancer

Cancerians can expect joyous, and harmonious celebrations this month. Current friendships and relationships will blossom as the two of you grow in understanding for each other garnering a deeper appreciation for the relationship. You can also expect to reconnect with a loss connection this month, be it a long-lost friend or an ex!


Leo

It may be necessary this month to let some of your fire burn, as there are people around you that will try to take advantage, which will potentially create a bump in the road in your future plans. Firmly put your foot down to keep this from happening.

Virgo

This should be a fairly harmonious month for Virgo. If there is a goal that you have been steadily working towards, you can expect noticeable progress and gains this month. If you’ve recently been experiencing some hardships, you can expect this month to provide a safe haven and some resolve to a few of your problems.

Libra

You’ve spent a significant amount of time in your head over-thinking and jumping to conclusions, which has caused you worry and stress over the past few months. There is a chance that Libra has been experiencing headaches as a result. Your continued over-analysing is not going to get you to where you want to be and will prove to be counterproductive and futile. Use this month the recalibrate yourself and remind yourself of what is truly important. Consider reprioritizing your life and what you deem important. This is vital for you to calm and slow the mind.


Scorpio

If you feel that you have faced recent disappointment in the work-place or in your studies, rest assured that it was simply a bump that can easily be overcome. If you continue to look as your situation as a failure, then it will be through thought alone that you create a self-fulfilling prophecy. Everyone has snags sometimes so get up, dust yourself off, and charge ahead.


Sagittarius

Trust your intuition this month! There are going to be a lot of misleading instances that will cause you to veer off path if you do not listen to your inner voice. You know what is best for you, and there will be circumstances this month that will challenge your already existing knowledge. Don’t be swayed by the opinions of others.


Capricorn

You will face a bit of resistance this month manifesting itself in a competition of sorts, perhaps with family or colleagues trying to outshine you and steal your thunder. Don’t allow this to demotivate you, because you will come out on top anyway. As you long as you stay calm, people will pick up on their antics.


Aquarius

This is going to be very transformational month for Aquarius. You’ve known for quite some time now that you’ve been needing a change, and that the path you are currently on is no longer doing it for you like it did before. If you are brave enough to take a leap of faith this month, or have done so already, you will see that the decision you’ve made is the right one. The cards drawn for Aquarius are asserting that it is time to move on.


Pisces

It been a very emotional time for you lately. Take some much needed time this month to retreat into yourself. The answers you are searching for already exist within you, so practice trusting your intuition. It is only when you realise this that you will reach a state of equilibrium. It is imperative that you get a handle on your emotions this month.

OBS&BH Update

Just to let everyone know, the next chapter of obs&bh will not be up on Sunday as it usually is. As I said in my AN last chapter, the 13th was my goal for posting but since this chapter is the final one I could make no promises. Since then, there have been personal circumstances in my life that have severely limited my writing time meaning the chapter is still mainly incomplete. Also, since this is the last chapter, I don’t want to rush it as I want to make the ending to the main part of the series as good as I possibly can and being under a time pressure is counterproductive to that. Because of this, the final chapter has no set date for posting as I have no idea how long it’ll take me to finish it and edit it to a quality that I’m satisfied with. 

The chapter will get written when it gets written and I will update people on here when I have a better idea of when I will be able to post it. For now that date is still undetermined and I would appreciate if people don’t ask about updates as when I know more information, I will post it I promise. I appreciate that waiting isn’t ideal but because of events in my life and my desire to make this chapter the best it can be, there’s nothing I can do to get the chapter finished any faster.

Thanks for your patience!

Kaz xx