is this a really pretentious thing to say

anonymous asked:

your literally my only source for mann co stuff rn do you have any more headcanon for the other members? I like bidwell but the others need notice too right

:( im sorry about that. i’ll do my best to supply ur needs though haha

ok a few i can remember off the top of my head are

  • saxton used to take piano lessons when he was a kid, and he’s actually ridiculously good at it? the thing is he really hates playing the piano and thinks its pretentious
  • he doesnt even care enough to remember the names of the songs he’s learned?? listen to him bust out Rondo Alla Turca and then call it “another one of those songs by that baby-faced white wig dude”
  • he also draws well! mostly he draws landscapes of the places he’s visited and animals
  • reddy has a sweet loving wife and adorable twin daughters hhhH,,
  • OH also reddy is indian, from the region of andhra pradesh to be specific ngl i get so peeved whenever ppl say he’s british bc the surname is… indian…
  • …id speak more on him but i’m worried i’ll get headcanons wrong?? he’s not my character, he’s a friend’s, @coinsandcoffee :0
  • jerry is aroace!!

my favorite thing i’ve learned in college is that way back in ancient china there was this poet/philosopher guy who wrote this whole pretentious poem about how enlightened he was that was like “the eight winds cannot move me” blahblahblah and he was really proud of it so he sent it to his friend who lived across the lake and then his friend sends it back and just writes “FART” (or the ancient Chinese equivalent) on it and he was SO MAD he travels across the lake to chew his friend out and when he gets there his friend says “wow. the eight winds cannot move you, but one fart sends you across the lake”

Things the moon signs do

Aries: offend people, close the door on others, text while driving

Taurus: listen more than they talk, smile rarely but genuinely, have a lot of habits

Gemini: pull leaves off of trees as they walk by, be delighted by small coincidences, play a TV show or movie in the background while they work on something

Cancer: keep score of when someone does something for them, text back immediately, get mad quickly but get over it more quickly

Leo: stare at people, start drama, ask people if they really like them

Virgo: observe the quirks of others, feel willed to do things for other people although they don’t want to, cry tears of joy

Libra: say “how are you though?”, cry at the slightest provocations, secretly want to talk about themselves

Scorpio: fall in love with their best friends, dislike the people who are close to someone they like, look after their friends but not themselves

Sagittarius: play it cool, come off as pretentious in spite of preferring less intellectual friends, have a false view of themselves

Capricorn: talk themselves out of things, become interested in groups/teams/bands, befriend their teachers

Aquarius: treat everyone like their best friend, value friends over partners, invite people to things without consulting the people they originally invited

Pisces: hang out with someone without doing anything with them, fall asleep while on the phone, convince themselves they don’t need the things they want

docloudscomeinpurple  asked:

Can you name one canon trait in each member of the Batfam that you feel gets overlooked by the fandom?

Alfred- the fact that he’s not perfect and has British sense of distance and propriety and is halfway responsible for B being the way he is, good and bad.

Bruce- He can be a dick and still care at the same time, he messes up massively but usually with the best intentions at heart.

Dick- Dick is absolutely one of the cruelest Bats when he wants to be with the most cutting remarks and the tendency to ‘forget’ about people he doesn’t immediately see.

Babs- Like Dick can be absolutely vicious when desires. Can verbally (and often physically, my girl has buff af arms) tear down her teammates. Is loving and kind but also incredibly bitter and angry.

Jason- Startlingly brilliant, even as a kid. Very observant and intelligent and, despite his rough upbringing, really has developed a taste for organization.

Tim- Is suffering from massive PTSD, survivor’s guilt, severe depression/anxiety, deeply rooted insecurities which he covers up with isolation and nerd boy tropes and sarcasm and no bothers to look beyond that.

Stephanie- Is perky and fun but also one of the most grounded Bats, she knows what it’s like to be “normal” and has that unique perspective in the fam. Is the main one to call out the pretentious hero BS of the others.

Cassandra- Still struggles with dealing with people with understanding that what a person says with body language does not always equate what they say with words/ wants (IE someone is attracted physically but is freaked out when Cass makes a move)

Damian- Damian is not a cutesy normal kid. Damian is scarily aware and mature and not one to engage in normal kid things. He has been irreparably affected by his abusive childhood but he can learn and heal but that doesn’t mean he’ll be playing on a playground any time soon

Duke- Really didn’t want to be a Bat. He wants his parents to be well again, he wants to stay with his group of friends, he wants to a Robin, the symbol, not the Robin, the hero. Is awkward and uncomfortable being accepted into this family he never really wanted to be a part of.

The houses based off friends I have

(Based on @ladydrarry ‘s post)


-A e s t h e t i c

-You sure you’re not even a little bit hufflepuff

-Has one Gryffindor hoodie that they’ve washed like 5 times in the entire year

-Never has a lot money but always buys new books?

-Going to a pretentious boarding school to avoid Trump

-Has read every AU imaginable

-Trash to everything




-Tries to be strong willed but will see a puppy and give up

-Not very good with new year’s resolutions


-Doesn’t really try new things

-Precious nonetheless

-Knows that they’ve had too much sugar but will still order 2 unicorn Frappucinos at 10pm


-Kpop trash

-Talks more about studying than does actual studying

-But still gets good grades??

-Doesn’t really know how to study properly and it’s gonna coma back to bite them in the ass

-Constantly wishes you could say sdiuwfgfnfj in real life

-Looks good in everything???

-Self care and self confidence goals


-Only one person may hug them and they are the chosen one (Ravenclaw)

-Pierce the veil

-Don’t ask them to check your work they will make fun of it

-Lovingly though

-Band trash

-Emo aesthetic without being emo

-Messy bun on point

🐈 giving the cat emoji warrior names 🐈

[note: an anon asked me to do this and i like doin things for the greater good but im gonna post this and never admit to how long i spent doing this im just going to post this and pretend this never happened]

brightfur - ginger-and-white tabby tom from windclan; loves chasing buns out in the moor and is often known as being pretty naive and kindhearted, cares WAY too much about others opinions of him, never curses or uses foul words like “foxdung” or anything of the sort, he’s a good boy

applecloud - a goddamn ball of sunshine. they’re a sweet ginger-and-white tabby cat from thunderclan who chatters all day about whatever topic has grabbed their attention, they’re very sweet and caring. cant really fight, their greatest accomplishment is stealing the fresh-kill pile.

firetail - a taciturn and strict molly, firetail is quite the blooming leader. a ginger-and-white tabby molly from thunderclan, she’s serious and is very comfortable in her deputy position. she has a soft spot for kits and apprentices and likes to dip her nose into things that aren’t really her business, however

cranecloud - sweet gray tabby molly from riverclan, very soft spoken and kind. she doesn’t really like fighting, prefers to stay close to camp and hunt for her clan. hates violence and sometimes dreams of an easier, laid back life as a kittypet.

mudsplash - brown-and-white tom from riverclan, mudsplash is very excitable and basically bouncing off the walls. sweet but he gets kinda huffy sometimes, can be sorta pretentious about the things that he feels passionate about. super cute tho and has a penchant for flirting w/ tomcats from other clans

rushstar - orange tomcat leader from windclan, very mysterious and soft spoken. prefers to ‘stay in the shadows’ as it were, doesn’t say much and doesn’t have a loud voice. many have to lean in to hear him.

tinybird - little ginger tabby molly from shadowclan, tinybird holds the reputation for being the smallest of the smalls in shadowclan. she’s tiny and moves quick on her paws; she’s a small cutie, but she’s DEFINITELY a troublemaker - picks fights w/ others a lot and uses her tiny cuteness to get her out of trouble.

crowbreeze - black molly from shadowclan, crowbreeze is very flighty and paranoid - she hates the dark and doesnt sleep outside, holes herself in her nest at night because she just hates hates hates the dark. believes in ‘other cats’ who live past starclan AKA aliens.

maplepelt - simple red-brown tom from thunderclan. he doesnt really…do much and sorta is just there. cats ask about him and he just goes “haha yeah” and thats sorta it. very simple, prefers being in the background. just sorta appears outta nowhere.

sandstream - pretty pale ginger molly from riverclan; sandstream loves to swim and is very comfortable in the water. she’s extremely gay and loves to cause mischief, though, and everyone knows that she loves to stir things up and watch. very hard to hate though, especially if you live for drama.

tawnyheart - boastful ginger tom from skyclan, tawnyheart talks a lot about how proud he is of skyclan but can’t name two past skyclan leaders. doesnt have much to back up his bravado, but he thinks his ‘charm’ will help him with that. he’s a good warrior, but he earns his -heart suffix bc he loves judging others 

darkshadow - goth black molly from shadowclan. she basically is the most stereotypical of shadowclan cats; dark-furred, dreary, loves talking about emo things. she’s kinda a downer but also very kind and soft spoken, she hates to raise her voice.

I keep seeing posts that says that Waverly shouldn’t have been so harsh to Nicole because of one minor fight. Listen here kids, Waverly’s anger wasn’t just about their fight. Okay? Waverly’s anger was also about the fact that she was possessed by a demon for a good part of the show and finding out that she’s not an actual blood Earp ( she will always be an Earp no matter what). She took it out on Nicole because Nicole was there and she made a mistake in the last episode. What? You’ve never taken your anger out on someone? If you haven’t, good on you but I bet a lot of you have. Seriously, it’s part of being human. Part of being so upset about something, so emotional in that moment in time that you take it out on the first person that just pisses you off even if they didn’t even do anything wrong.

I know I’ve done that. I try not to but there are times when it’s too much and I have to somehow let it out and I happen to take it out on the first person I see. I regret it immediately afterwards. And you can see that Waverly regrets her actions right after. Who are you to judge a person for doing something that you’ve probably done yourself?

Is it excusable? No.

No one should do that. Waverly shouldn’t have done it either but it’s human nature and it happens. That’s probably why Nicole was still happy and hopeful thinking that it was Waverly at the end of the episode because she understood what Waverly was going through. She understood because she has probably done the same exact thing before.

Now, on to the cheating.

Cheating is a horrible thing. Cheating is unjustifiable. Cheating is inexcusable. I hate cheating.

Now that being said, on the flip side: There is a difference between someone cheating with no remorse or regret and they pin the blame on their significant other for why they cheated and someone cheating because they were literally put through the ringer and going through an emotional roller coaster and got somewhat drunk and kissed the first person that comforted them and then immediately realizing that they’ve done fucked up.

And when I said that I hated cheating, the first part was what I meant. Don’t get me wrong, I still think the second part is something you shouldn’t do but it isn’t out of spite or maliciousness. I know how horrible cheating can be, I was cheated on and my mom cheated on my dad multiple times (and it wasn’t the nice slightly better type of cheating either) and I still haven’t really forgiven her for it.

But what Waverly did was not out of negative intentions, it was out of confusion and being emotionally drained and just needing someone by your side.

Is it justified? No.

Is it excusable? No.

Is it still a shitty thing to do? One hundred percent.

Nicole definitely deserves better than that.

But what Waverly did was understandable. I mean, seriously, the things that she has gone through during this entire season, I’m surprised she somehow waited until now to break down and fuck up in the process. I don’t care if you say this was out of character or say that it isn’t character development I’m going to say: It is. This was character development. This was a part of her character that we thought we would never see and I think that’s amazing because it really hits close to reality. Sometimes people do things that you would never think that they would do in a million years in real life. There are more to people than what you think. They do things that surprises you. They have flaws that you would never think of. Now is it a good part of her character development? Not really but it’s a flaw.

Waverly has flaws. Waverly can make mistakes. Waverly is not perfect.

Same goes for Nicole.

Read it. Take it in. Acknowledge it.

Sometimes, we put characters (and people) and shows on this perfect pedestal and idolize them and suddenly when they show a flaw, we freak out and start to hate them for it. Then we start to play the blame game. Start to blame the producers, showrunners, and directors for writing them this way. And going back to taking our anger out on other people thing, we start to take our anger out of the actresses/actors and the people behind the show for doing this to the character/show.

We start to cross that line between fiction and reality.

I really don’t want Earpers to do this. I know there are still a lot of Earpers who understand the situation. This post are for those who don’t. For those who are considering of not watching the show anymore of because of a flaw. Take a moment. We all need one. And think about it. If you still feel the need to stop watching the show then do so, it’s your choice, but don’t you dare try to make this fandom into something toxic and negative because that is not what it is.

Everyone is so unforgiving sometimes. Seriously, we ask for character development and angst and equality and when they give it to us, we just freak the fuck out and try to set what we love on fire just because we didn’t agree with the end product.

Also, cheating is not an LGBTQ+ trope. Love triangles is not an LGBTQ+ trope (I don’t think there’s going to a love triangle anyways, we already have one on the show and it seems Rosita doesn’t seem like she wants to get in the way of wayhaught). These are things that constantly happen to heterosexual relationships on any type of media. And honestly, we got the better end of the deal with the cheating. Because it could have been so much worse. It could have been something that really ended the relationship for good. Waverly could have continued after that kiss, but she didn’t. She realized she fucked up and then immediately stopped it from continuing. It sucked that it even happened in the first place but we should thank our lucky stars that she didn’t have sex with Rosita and ended the relationship right there.

Anyways, this rant has gone on too far and honestly, I don’t even think I even made sense and said what I really wanted to say and I probably sounded really pretentious and high and mighty and seemed like I never do anything wrong but I do. I really do. I do the same things sometimes but I’m getting tired of all the negativity that is trying to seep itself into the Earper fandom. So I’m going to stop the post right here.

Point blank: Waverly fucked up but what matters in the end is whether or not she fights for Nicole’s forgiveness and I think she will. It looks like she will.

I have faith in this relationship and I have faith in this show and Emily Andras. So let’s all be a little rational about this and realize this was just a plot point and we’re all going to move on after this.

PS: Don’t take it out on the actresses/Emily/the show for what the characters did.


triggers apply such as; death, murder, blood, cursing, etc.  feel free to change any pronouns as needed!

  • ❝  You know what they say, kemosabe, in Hell, everybody loves popcorn.   ❞
  • ❝   I ain’t no fucking clown.   ❞
  • ❝   I’m gonna teach you something. I’m not gonna let anyone hurt you.   ❞
  • ❝   There’s only four things you need to know about this career.   ❞
  • ❝   Smoke in times of rest is a great companion to the solitary soldier.  ❞
  • ❝   You know who said that? Do you know who said that?  ❞
  • ❝   Do you really think I give a fuck?  ❞
  • ❝   I always thought I’d appear rather pretentious with a pipe.  ❞
  • ❝   I say we hunt these freaks down and slit their fucking throats.  ❞
  • ❝   I’m not crazy; I’m in control!  ❞
  • ❝   Now, you may think you see a grease-painted performer sitting before you.  ❞
  • ❝   I’m not here to brighten your dismal day; I am here to end your miserable life.  ❞
  • ❝   You know, all in all, you’ve had a pretty good run.  ❞
  • ❝   You must’ve known it all had to end somewhere - might as well be now.  ❞
  • ❝   You diggin’ what you see, pops?  ❞
  • ❝   Count yourselves lucky you got fucked by the best!  ❞
  • ❝   What exactly is the protocol if we have a survivor?  ❞
  • ❝   I mean no disrespect, but was not the question.  ❞
  • ❝   See you later, Popeye! I’m gonna go get me some spinach.  ❞
  • ❝   I bid you welcome, oh nameless and numbered ones!   ❞
  • ❝   What is 31, pray tell? Well, 31 is war and, as the old saying goes, war is Hell!  ❞
  • ❝   In exactly one hundred and twenty seconds, we shall begin.  ❞
  • ❝   All you have to do is survive twelve hours.  ❞
  • ❝   I should apologize in advance for not sharpening this thing.  ❞
  • ❝   What I do? Unfortunately for you, I do real well!  ❞
  • ❝   I am certainly not here to elicit an amused response.  ❞
  • ❝   Murder school is now in session.  ❞
  • ❝   Victorious warriors win first than go to war.  ❞
  • ❝   While defeated warriors, they go to war first than seek to win. Which are you?  ❞
  • ❝   I am here to end your miserable fucking life.  ❞
  • ❝   Let’s get one thing straight. I ain’t no fucking clown.  ❞
  • ❝   Might as well be here. Might as well be now. And it might as well be with me.  ❞
  • ❝   I’m sending you straight to the fucking pearly gates with a first class ticket.  ❞
  • ❝   I came to get down and dirty. Oh yeah.  ❞
  • ❝   As the old saying goes, war is Hell!  ❞
  • ❝   Smell that? I think they’re already pissing in their pants.  ❞
  • ❝   So that means you killed half a man.  ❞
  • ❝   Look what the fucking cat dragged in!  ❞
  • ❝   Even the mice know how to get out of the maze, motherfuckers!  ❞
  • ❝   I don’t wanna be here! They make me be here!  ❞
  • ❝   You and me, we’re the same! We’re the same!  ❞
  • ❝    What the fuck is going on? Do you see anything?  ❞
  • ❝   This is crazy, sitting here and waiting to be attacked.  ❞
  • ❝   Death has come to sing it’s quite song, run and hide for it won’t be long!  ❞
  • ❝   I’m so flattered you remember me.  ❞
  • ❝   Is it hunting time now?  ❞
  • ❝   Don’t worry, ______.  It’s always somebody’s fault.  ❞
  • ❝   I guess I should really put you out of your misery.  ❞
  • ❝   Wanna lick of my lolly?  ❞
Sleepless Nights, touken headcanon/mini-fic

Summary: It’s their first time sleeping together on the same bed and Kaneki can’t take his hands off Touka.

I totally hate this, it looked so much better inside my head, my inspiration sucks—i’m super tired right now& i can’t speak proper english today, but i really wanted to take this idea off my head AAAAND give this to @yorozuya-ken-chan as her birthday gift 😭 ♡ I LOVE YOU ANITA, this is so crappy, i’m so sorry -sobs- i promise i’ll write you something 2369726 better next time, WAIT FOR ME🙏 (the only good thing about this is the ending, huehue, jon&ygritte hints)

i wanted to make this a smut but i really feel like the words aren’t coming to my head today, so this is just… a bit lime? not even a lime 😂  shame on me.. anyway, take this more like a lazy headcanon instead of a well-written fic *sobs* i’ll bring good smut soon.. I promise, ANITA DESERVES BETTER ✨



“Y-Yes?” he stammers.

“If you want me to sleep with you in your room, just say it.”

He’s shaking.

“Oh, w-well…”

“Do you?”

He swallows.

“I-I mean, if you ever feel col—“

Touka sighs.

“Fine. I’ll sleep with you tonight then.”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Can I request a headcannon where MC has a major crush on RFA+Saeran&V but had a past relationship which hurt them deeply, and feel like they would never be able to be happy, kinda like Seven. When they find out they love them back, MC panics, and doesn't want to believe it. They try so hard to not panic, but still have that tiny fear, which becomes huge that they dont love the MC. They probably need a lot of reassurance. I'm so sorry.. I had a rough month ;;

Oh, sweetie, I’m so sorry to read that, I hope you’re feeling better and if you feel like it, my chat is always open. Talk to me if you want to, okay?

So, I hope this brings you some comfort:

RFA + Saeran and V with a MC who’s afraid of love


  •  Come on, everybody in Korea must have a crush on Zen, you are not different
  • That’s what you’ve been telling yourself in order to convince that these feelings aren’t a big deal
  • Everytime he hugs you and tells you how cute you are, you feel like melting!
  •  Yes, it’s a very familiar sensation, as you already heard this from another rising star in the show business.
  • That fling with that singer ended as fast as it started, but he has fame, money and lots of people who idolize him, what do you have now?
  • So yeah, forget that heat growing all over your body when Zen confessed his love for you. You heard this before, you couldn’t handle being hurt again, no, not by him.
  • Zen didn’t expect that reaction from you. When he told you, he was waiting for a “Oh my God! I love you back!” and the most romantic kiss ever. Instead, he won a “I see…” and you walking away from his apartment.
  • He went after you, meeting you sitting in the emergency stairs and crying. “MC! What happened? Why are you crying?”
  • “Why did you do this to me, Zen? Couldn’t you keep this as a fan-idol relationship? Why did you have to tell me this?”
  • “Because I… couldn’t keep it to myself anymore. I love you, I… have been in love with you for a while now. And… I understand you don’t feel the same way, but…” you stared at him.
  • “Zen, I feel the same way! That’s the problem! Don’t you see?” he couldn’t see the problem, no. You sighed: “How am I not sure you won’t leave me as soon as you get really famous? Or worst, you’ll try to hide me from everybody? I can’t be a guilty pleasure, Zen! I wouldn’t be able to endure this again!”
  • Oh, now he knows what’s going on. Yeah, when he met you, he knew you were familiar, you dated that guy from the labor record he’s about to be hired. And he felt… angry and sad for you, like that guy broke his heart by breaking yours.
  • So he hugged you and hummed lullabies to you to calm you down. You knew you shouldn’t let him that close, but… could you resist him?
  •  You were scared and worried, and your love for him was flooding your heart. You wanted his love, but right now, what you really needed was his patience.
  • And he would be patient.



  • How could you not fall for him? He was caring, smart, sweet…
  • He’s so different from all the guys you’ve been dating so far. All of them so rude and selfish.
  • But maybe you deserved it? Well, so what have you done differently to deserve Yoosung? Nothing, right?
  • So you don’t deserve him. And worse: you’ve got so used to being hurt, what if you ended up hurting him? No…
  • That was the first thing you thought when he confessed his feelings for you.
  • He was a sweating nervous mess, yet he said it. And though he still had hop, he was pretty much waiting for a rejection.
  • But you didn’t really reject him, you just told him you needed to go and… ignored him for the rest of the week, which was even worse than a direct rejection.
  • He didn’t want to piss you off, but he needed an answer, even if was a “no” so he could at least try to move on… emphasis on try.
  • When you saw him waiting for you at your place’s door, you wanted to turn around and run, but your legs felt weaker. Something about his curious eyes staring at you pulled you towards him.
  • “I’m sorry, MC.” What? But you’ve been ignoring him, you should be the one to say this. See what I’m saying? You would definitely hurt him eventually.
  • “Don’t be sorry. You did nothing wrong. Well, except for falling for me.” “MC… why would you say something like this?”
  • “Because I’m so scared of hurting you, Yoosung. You don’t deserve being hurt like I did, you have no idea how awful it is, and I don’t want you to ever feel like this, especially because of me!”
  • “I’m pretty sure you didn’t deserve either, MC. I… I don’t know exactly what you’ve been through, but… I know you didn’t deserve it. And… if you know how it feels, then you won’t do to other people, right? To me… if you… you know, if you really like me…”
  • He hugged you timidly, but you could feel all his love and care for you. You two were so insecure, would it worth chasing this relationship?
  • Yes, it would. And he will definitely chase it.


  • Falling for her was a big surprise for you.
  •  You crushed and hid all the feelings you ever had for women before ever since that girl from school not only rejected you, as also dragged you out of the closet for everybody to know.
  • So you swore you would never fall for a woman before and… well, that didn’t work out, did it?
  • But when Jaehee told you she was in love with you, you… didn’t know how to respond.
  • Because it was new for you. You know, having reciprocated feelings for a woman?
  • And that was the problem! It was new! You didn’t know what to do, what if your inexperience made you really mess things up?
  • So, as much as you wanted to yell “I LOVE YOU BACK!” you kept serious and told her you two were better as friends.
  • And there was that part of her that agreed with you. It was better, she couldn’t risk losing you forever if a romantic relationship didn’t work out.
  • So she settled for this. You both settled.
  • But it was so uncomfortable, it wasn’t the same thing as before now that you knew you two felt the same way, and the only thing getting on the way of happiness was you and your fears.
  • She noticed you were distant, and when she couldn’t stand your cold treatment anymore, she confronted you: “You told nothing would change after I confessed, MC. But it did! Why? You think I’m going to attack you? Are you scared of me?” she didn’t want to come off angry, but she was desperate.
  • “Never, Jaehee! I’m scared of myself…” “What… what do you mean?” “I’m scared of not knowing how to deal with my feelings for you, they are so overwhelming, but… I’m scared because it’s all new to me, Jaehee.”
  • Now she’s the one feeling overwhelmed, you… feel the same as she does? All this time?
  • “I’m scared too. This is very new to me as well.” She says, hugging you.
  • Well, so maybe you could guide each other in this new journey?


  • It took you a while to notice your admiration and needing to take care of him wasn’t a friendship thing.
  • You desired him with every inch of your body and soul. But he seemed so out of your league.
  • Yes, how somebody like him could ever look at you and see something other than a silly, innocent and cully person?
  • So when he confessed to you, showing an eloquence he never showed before, you legitimately thought this was a joke.
  • He had an odd sense of humor, but honestly, this was cruel. Playing with people’s feelings like this was beyond unacceptable, even for someone who struggled so much with feelings like him.
  • You were offended, you never expected something so cruel coming from him. Wasn’t he a gentleman? Wasn’t he trying to be more aware of people’s feelings?
  • So you told him to go away and only look for you when he has a proper apology. And he left, confused and… hurt?
  • He got a headache from how much he wondered about what he could possibly have done wrong. He was new to this, but… the magazines he read and the soap operas he watched gave him the feeling he was on the right track with this.
  • Maybe it was because you didn’t feel the same way as he did? But still, he knew you, you were gentle, sweet, you would reject him politely.
  • So disobeying you, he looked for you without a proper apology, he needed to know what he did wrong and how could he make it right in the future. Maybe not with you, but with someone who could make him feel a little like you do, if this was even possible.
  • “I’m sorry to bother you but I need an answer, MC.” “Oh, you need an answer? How pretentious of you, Jumin, seriously! I never expected you to disappoint me like this!”
  • “So tell me why. Why am I a disappointment? What have I done wrong to you?” “You really want to make me say it? Oh my God…” you were only getting madder, you two weren’t going nowhere with this.
  • “MC, I love you. Period. And although I don’t know what I did, I understand you don’t feel the same way and I apologize if I made you feel uncomfortable. I only wish good things to you, I would never hurt you on purpose.” Yes, that was right… he would never do this. So… this meant…
  • “I… feel the same way, Jumin. I… am the one who should apologize. I got so defensive thinking you were joking.” “Why would I ever joke about my love for you?” “Because… I never thought someone like you could seriously love someone like me.”
  • But he did, and looking for professional help for the love of his life was his first top priority now.


  • How would you not fall for him? You loved all his sides.
  • The funny 707 and the deep Saeyoung, you loved in all of his facets, would they be bad or good.
  •  And knowing all his insecurities and depressive thoughts, you knew you couldn’t be an extra problem for him.
  • So when he told you how much he loved you, you knew he couldn’t be thinking straight, this was his fears getting the best of him.
  • So now it was your turn on pushing him away. You told him you were flattered, but you two were better as friends.
  • He was waiting exactly for this, but he didn’t regret getting this off his chest. At least now he could live in peace with this knowing he tried, he wouldn’t be wondering what could have happened if he never told you anything.
  • But he missed you… he missed you so much!
  • He missed your conversations over the phone, your laugh, your honesty… he needed to talk to you gain.
  • He hesitated a lot, you already said no, why was he insisting? Call it crazy, but it was almost like God was telling him this wasn’t over.
  • And there he was, standing at your door with the RoboCat. “Meow~ God Seven is with the person he likes!” the cat said.
  • “That’s right, RoboCat.” “Saeyoung, I…” “~God Seven already knows your answer, but he misses you, meow. Can’t you two be friends?”
  • “I’m afraid not, RoboCat, I… regardless of what I feel, I can’t be another problem on Go… Saeyoung’s life.”
  • “What do you mean with ‘regardless of what you feel’?” he asked, not RoboCat. “Do you… like me back, MC?”
  •  “~Meow, I sense love from both ways here.” “Yes, but…” there was no but, not for him, so he went to hug you.
  • Although you didn’t say much, he knew exactly what you were feeling and why you were holding back. He would show you that there was no need to.



  • Oh my god, how did that happen?
  • He was relying on you to help him with therapy and you were having these romantic fantasies about him? How stupid of you!
  • And selfish! He counted on you, and you daydreaming about something he would probably never be able to correspond?
  • But then… he confessed. And nothing made sense anymore.
  • No, he was confused, he was projecting in you, right? He couldn’t actually be in love with you or with anyone else, for that matter.
  • So, painfully you backed away. It was for his own good.
  • Saeran wasn’t angry, but he was sad. Was he really reading the signs that wrong? He knew he wasn’t the best at this, but… weren’t you being very clear how much you cherished him?
  • He thought he was allowed to feel the same, but… he wasn’t? Why? And even if that was the case, why would you back away like this? This wasn’t like you!
  • No, you were sweet and even if you didn’t love him, you cared for him, you wouldn’t abandon him like this, never!
  • He needed to know exactly what was going on, so he convinced his brother to look for you.
  • But he didn’t ask his brother to call you and tell you Saeran was missing you. No, he didn’t want you to feel pity or obligated to come and see him.
  • But as soon as you did, he realized how much he was missing you. And you definitely missed him too…
  • “What happened to you?” he asked, he didn’t want to sound hurt, but maybe he was and that’s how it came off. “I’m… I’m sorry for being weird, MC. I didn’t want to scare you and I really thought I was doing the right thing…”
  • “Saeran, there’s nothing wrong with you, I… I think I’m the problem here. Because I love you so much and that’s a problem because that’s not what you need from me!” “Let me the judge on that.” He said, pulling you for a hug.
  • Yes, you definitely needed each other’s love.


  • He was everything you could want in a person.
  • He was intelligent, sweet, caring, he was… perfect!
  • Your therapist talked about this tendency of yours. Falling for men who seem out of reach so you could be rejected and sink in your low self esteem all over again.
  • Were you doing this again? Because it felt a little different… well, it felt different the other times too…
  • So when he confessed to you, you weren’t sure how to react. You were being corresponded for the first time.
  • This amazing guy loves you back, yes, that’s the problem, he’s too amazing for you, he would notice pretty fast that there was nothing fascinating about you…
  • So why even bother trying to start something that is destined to end up bad. With you hurt for not being able to match him?
  • You told him you needed some time to think, and of course he didn’t oppose, he would give you all the time you needed!
  •  But it’s been a while, actually, really long, he didn’t hear from you. He felt a weird vibe coming from you, but he thought you were just shy.
  • He didn’t want to pressure you, but… he wanted to know if he could have hope or if he should try to let you go.
  • So he asked to talk to you alone when you two meet at a RFA gathering.  You didn’t want to, but you had, you let him hanging on for too much time.
  • “MC, I don’t mean to pressure you or anything, but it’s been a while since I opened up my heart to you, and I…” “V, I like you so much! You have no idea!, but…”
  • “But?” “I’m so afraid of how much it will hurt when you realize I’m not good enough for you…”
  • “MC, This will never happen. I can guarantee you with all my love for you.” He hugged you and kept saying sweet things to you until the RFA realized you two wouldn’t be coming out and they should leave.
  • You would definitely have to go back to therapy, and he would always be there to support you.
This Is Just To Say (m) - 1

Originally posted by yoonseok

Summary: To say it’s unusual to have a soulmate is an understatement, and most people desperately wish to have an elegant name scrawled upon their wrist. In reality though, you’d have to say it causes much more issues than it solves.

Pairing: Yoongi/Reader (slight Namjoon/Reader; Jungkook/Reader)

Genre: Fluff, Smut, Angst

Word Count: 4k

Warnings: T.S. Eliot bashing, if that matters to you. Vague philosophy references that don’t matter?? Too many cute boys to handle?! Honestly, too many italics but I’ll fight you over it?

A/N: Here have a garbage soulmate/college au that no one asked for. 

Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6

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How to Give Your Story “Heart”

Here’s where things get fluffy. This is the moment you unleash your feelings, tap into your inner light, and weep onto the page, using your sparkling tears as ink. Ready?

Originally posted by pajamasafterdark

Edna would never allow us to do that. And that’s good, because contrary to conventional wisdom, that’s not how you give your story heart. We’re going to do it the real way.

So if it isn’t raw emotion, what is “heart”?

1) It’s what your character NEEDS (not wants).


3) It’s what you want to TEACH.

Those sound intimidating, I know. But if you don’t treat it like a mystical magic, it’s very doable.

So, what do those mean?

1) NEED =

Your character has flaws that are ruining their life and future, right? Flaws in their heads that only hurt themselves, flaws in their characters that hurt other people. Something is missing within them, something they don’t understand, something they need to learn. Once they realize their flaws, and learn the thing that will overcome those flaws, their lives will be saved.

Take Mr Fredrickson from Up. He’s so grumpy and stubbornly stuck in the past, he’s willing to leave a small child clinging to the porch of his flying house, rather than let him into his life.

He needs to learn that in order to live a fulfilling life again, he must let go of the past, and go have another adventure. Which Ellie helps him learn.

Great. Now I’m crying.


It’s what the story is really about. The journey going on below the action-y surface. It’s your character’s inner change from one kind of person to a (hopefully) better kind. The reader believes the story is about the tangible goal, and the actions taken to reach it — the surface. Yet inwardly, they’re processing the hero’s inner journey too. It’s sneakily hidden from them.

On the surface, Hamilton is about a revolution and the founding of a nation.

Underneath all that, it’s about a guy learning what a worthwhile legacy really is, and how to build one.


Storytelling is the most powerful teaching method ever devised. Scientifically speaking, teaching is the purpose of stories, whether we like it or not. This fact usually makes people react like Gollum when approached by nasty hobbitses.

“Moralizing, precious? We hates it!”

Which is a reflex aversion that I understand, and have shared in the past. Books and movies that teach something positive are scorned and mocked in the world of “high literature” too. But when I thought about what stories have done for me, and why they were capable of it, my opinion changed. 

Tangled saved my life. If I had never seen that movie, I would still be in a horrible cult-like situation which I’d been trapped in for twelve years.

Narnia helped me escape depression.

The Harry Potter books were my home and my friends when I didn’t have either.

And those are all stories with strong hearts.

Why wouldn’t I want to create stories that could possibly help someone, like I was helped? Why would I let “avoid teaching at all costs” become my ultimate goal? (When really, that’s another way of saying “be pretentious and egotistical”?)

Nope. I’m choosing to write things that people will call schmaltzy and childish – but maybe life saving for another kid.

(I said I wasn’t going to get emotional. Sorry Edna.)

So, how do you figure out the heart of your story?

Answer these questions:
— What does your character need to learn, to stop ruining their own life?
— What do YOU want to say?

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Truth Serum

Prompt ~ Working on a new trap including a truth serum is… tricky. Even worse when Damian walks in and… well he’s good at avoiding traps but you are better at building and hiding them. And there you thought Damian was already bad enough with his brutal honesty… you had no idea how things would be if you added the effect of a truth serum. To get him back across the manor to his room proofs to be a real obstacle course like this + maybe a kiss at the end if that works for you <3

Damian Wayne x Reader

You were minding your own business like any decent human being should do, you were building a trap that would involve some truth serum that you were able to create in the cave’s lab. You placed a thin wire underneath your carpet that was connected to a small contraption that once triggered would release a dart containing the serum. After tying the wire you stood on your desks chair and placed the contraption in the air vent located on the ceiling close to the rooms entrance.You pushed the chair out the way and tied the trigger wire to your door’s knob. Just when you went to grab the knob to see if it worked the door swung open. In walked Damian with a neutral face only for the dart to shoot out and hit Damian square in the shoulder.

“Damian no!” You screamed as he fell to his knees, the serum tampering with his senses, “At least I know it works…” You said as you pulled the dart out his shoulder, “Well at least it shouldn’t change much you are already brutally honest.”

“I thought you were good at avoiding traps? Can you even walk?” You rambled on worried since Damian wasn’t answering you.

“Sorry I was captivated by your beauty.” Damian finally replied with a dazed look on his face, your cheeks immediately flushed red, “Um, I think my serum was too strong I should take you to your room.” You replied flustered, you helped him get up and let him lean on you for support, “You know I was distracted because I was thinking of you but if I wasn’t I would have easily averted your ploy.”

“Why is your room across the mansion.” You ignored his comment as you walked down the long hall.

“If my room was adjacent to yours you would here me whimpering your name during my aroused dreams.” Damian claimed as he leaned close to you, if it was possible you were becoming redder. You couldn’t lie you had a crush on Damian but you never thought he recuperated the same feelings, but here he was babbling off things he would never say himself if it wasn’t for the truth serum.

“Maybe the serum has some defects.” You mumbled, your palms became sweaty, “No, I’m attracted to you physically and emotionally.” Damian retorted as you took another turn, “Though I act pretentious I’m not good at showing my affections towards others, especially you.”

“You’re not lying?” You asked still unsure about everything he just said, “I got injected with a truth serum, I’m being a hundred percent honest and I really want to kiss you right now.” Damian said as he leaned closer to you, you knew he would remember all of this but he didn’t have full control of his actions, but these were things he truthfully wanted… you leaned in pressing your lips to his. Damian didn’t hold back on making it passionate which took your breath away.

“I always fantasized kissing you, it was better than I imagined.” Damian whispered as he placed a kiss on your cheek and stumbled into his room leaving you flustered outside his door and hundreds of questions popping into your thoughts.

anonymous asked:

biker even and isak on the back :D

aaah tysm for the prompt anon 💝  i really do like the idea of even on a bike :)

isak has been listening to thomas brag about his job and his possessions and how well connected he is ever since he got into his car. 

“the restaurant i’m taking you to, it’s the best in town when it comes to italian food. you usually have to book two months in advance, but,” he stops to wink at isak. “i know people.” 

isak simply nods at him. “that’s awesome,” he says, although he doesn’t really mind where they end up eating. he’s not much of a picky eater - with his long shifts at the hospital, he’s learned to settle for whatever’s edible and readily available. 

“obviously, it doesn’t quite compare to the authentic dining experience you’d get in italy, but i own real estate there, you know - i’ll take you one of these days.” 

i can’t just randomly take time off to travel for the sake of “an authentic dining experience”. we’ve met a week ago. this is the first time we’re spending time alone. 

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Why I dislike The Fault in Our Stars

So, I’ve been getting a lot of asks over the last few months asking why I strongly dislike TFIOS by John Green as much as I do. And for the most part, all the recent askers have been surprisingly polite, considering the more aggressive ones I’ve received in the past on the subject. Anyway, I’ve answered a bunch of them separately, but I’ve decided to condense all of my theories, opinions and arguments into one succinct post.

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School Bullies

This past summer I went on a school trip fro two weeks, for a baseball tournament. I was really excited to be going with all of my friends, It was going to be so much fun, but things didn’t work out the way I had planned. On the bus ride to the hotel our coach told us that we will be partnered up alphabetically to share rooms with. This sucked because my two best friends ended up being paired together while I was stuck with a senior named Ben. Ben stood at around five foot ten inches and was extremely muscular. He seemed like a cool guy, although I had never really talked to him much.ben was known for two things by the team, his non stop sweating armpits, and his humongous ass. I mean his ass was crazy big, no matter what pants he wore it was always breaking their limit. When we got to the hotel our coach told us to head up to our rooms unpack, meet for dinner at seven thirty and then head straight to bed due to an early practice in the morning. I grabbed my suitcase and stated toward the stairs when Ben came up from behind me and slapped my ass really hard. “Get ready for a whole lot of fun dude” he said as he strode past me. Once I arrived in the room after lugging my suitcase up four flights of stairs Ben was already there unpacking in only a loose fitting pair of plaid boxers. “ hey man” I stated awkwardly as I slowly closed the door behind myself. He glanced up at me with a devilish smirk and answered “sup bro”.
For the next hour or so we both unpacked quietly until he picked up his phone and went to our bathroom. While he was going I picked up my phone a decided to let my parents know that all was going well, I texted them and while I was waited for a reply I did not hear Ben come out of the bathroom, until all of a sudden I look up from my phone and his huge ass is right in front of my face. Before I even have the chance to react he rips a massive fart right in my face. The smell instantly hits me and I begin to gag over and over agiain. Ben doubles over with laughter, two smaller farts escape his ass while he’s laughing. “What the hell man!” I shout as he still laughs on the ground. “That was so disgusting!”. I just stare at Ben with shock until he finally controls himself. He stands up and says between laughter" dude there is so much more where that came from, just wait til after dinner.“ I am so shocked by what he just said, but I dont want him to think I’m such a stiff so I decide to play along . I force myself to laugh and then say ” ha ha very funny" to which he replies so seriously “ no dude I’m serious just wait until after I get some food in my system.” After he says that he pulls in a pair of gym shorts and walks out of the room with his shirt and shoes in his hand.All throughout dinner I was so nervous, the food was served buffet style and while I was getting my food Ben walks past me and says “mmhhhh, they’ve got beans” After I got my food I sat with my friends and could not help myself but to glance over a Ben every two seconds. He had a huge pile of beans on his plate, some broccoli, two slices of pizza, and a can of coke. I knew he had gotten all of those things intentionally. Once dinner was over our coach had a quick meeting with the entire team. After the meeting was over I lagged behind to talk to my coach. I asked him if u could hang out in a friends room for a little while, but he immediately dismissed me and told me to go to bed. I trudged up the stairs only thinking of what was awaiting me. When I entered the room Ben was sitting on his bed once again only wearing the loose fitting pair of boxers. “ what took you so long dude, I almost had to start Farting without you” he stated . I replied to him very quickly “ come on please, this is ridiculous , why do you need to do this?” Ben got up from his bed and walked towards me while saying, “I don’t need to, it’s just fun, trust me you’ll love it too.” I started to back away from him, but he grabbed me and wrestled me onto my bed. I tried to fight him off but he was much stringer then me, before I knew it my face was under his ass, with my nose directly in his butt. I struggled beneath him and yelled for him to get off , but he just looked at me smirked and said “ just relax , and enjoy yourself” after saying that he immediately sat his boxer clad ass on my face and ripped one of the most obnoxious farts I’ e ever heard BRRRPHTTTTT! The fart smelt like pure ass, I had never smelt something so bad in my life. “ ohhh ya, that was a good one right? I bet you’re loving it down there” Ben shouted so I could hear him Beneath his ass. Ben farted repeatedly on my face and kept commenting things like “ I know you loved that one” “man you’re so lucky you get to smell MY farts” “ you should really be thanking me for this”.
He had to have been sitting on my face for about a half an hour when he finally sat up. I took the biggest breath of fresh air once he sat up, I was so happy to be free, but I was far from free. “Ya know dude, I think that’s enough of this” he said in a very pretentious way, I was about to say yessss please get up, when he cut me off by saying “ yea that’s enough of that, now it’s time to go bare ass”. “ noo dude please I’ll do anything, just please don’t fart on me bare assed, I won’t be able to take it”. I begged him. He started to laugh at me again “ oh man hell no, you are going to take it and enjoy it” he stated, and with that his pulled back his plaid boxers revealing his gigantic ass. It was so big and hairy, and most defiantly smelly. I tried to pull my face away from his ass, but no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t stop him. Ben slowly brought his bare ass the my face and sat down. The hairs on his butt tickled my face as I shot right into his butt crack, I think my nose was right in his butt hole. For the next ten minutes Ben farted almost non stop up my nose, the smells were horrible. Ranging from rotten eggs to shit. Eventually he finally ran out. Once he did he stood up, pulled up his boxers looked down at my shit stained face and said “ that was pretty awesome right, just wait til after practice tomorrow, you’re going to love my ass once it’s sweaty. ” after saying that he jumped off my bed and slid underneath his covers. I tried to confront him, but all he told me was that we’ll talk about it in the morning, but looking back on it now I wish I never talked to him about it in the morning, because what happened next was all my fault. The next morning when when I woke up Ben had already left the room. I did not want to confront him during breakfast so I figured I’d wait until after practice. Practice went well, and afterward our coach took the entire team to go watch a game. During the game Ben came over and sat next to me “ oh dude nothing can prepare you for tonight” he said in a menacing voice. By this point I was pissed so I started to fight back “no Ben you are not going to do that again or else!” I yelled back. Ben seemed shocked that I was defending myself, but he quickly gathered himself, and told me “ how about we make a bet”. “What kind of bet?” I answered. “ we each pick a team and whoever’s team wins that person gets what they want. So if your team wins I will leave you alone, but if my team wins you have to do whatever I say for the rest of the trip” . This was a huge gamble I could either get him to leave me alone for the rest of the trip or end up being his personal slave for the rest of the trip. Now I wish I decided not to make a bet with him, but I did and I lost. After my team lost Ben was overjoyed and I was sick to my stomach. The whole bus ride back to the hotel I knew what was coming for me. Once we arrived back at the hotel everyone was saying how badly they needed to take a shower because they were still so sweaty from practice, but I knew that Ben did not have any plans to shower, he was going to use every ounce of his stink to torture me. As soon as Ben and I entered our room he tackled me down to my bed and gave me a huge wedgie. “alright slave boi, how about we start our fun with you give me a foot massage.” Ben released my underwear and shoved me off the bed, he hung his feet off the bed and I slowly started uniting his cleats . I pulled them off one by one only for my nose to be assaulted by a horde of stink. “Smells nice right bitch?” I started to massage his feet when he repeated himself, this time sounding more like a command “smells nice right bitch.” He just stared at me until I realized what he wanted me to do “ yes Ben your feet smell really nice.” I stated reluctantly. “Show me that you like the way they smell” he said. So I brought his left foot to my face and inhaled deeply. “God boy” he stated in a joyous tone as if I were a dog. After about ten minutes of giving him a foot massage he had another command for me, “take of my socks with your teeth”. I did as he said pulling each sock off with my teeth until both of his disgusting feet were in front of me. “Now that you were so kinda day gave me a foot massage, my feet want to repay the favor, they are going to give you a face massage.“ With that Ben made me lie face up on the floor, all I could do was watch as he brought his two giant feet to my face. Rubbing them back and forth across my face, they slid up and down because of how sweaty they were. The smell was horrendous, but far worse was coming. "Okay bro, I think you gotten enough love from my feet today, how about you come give my nice hairy pits some attention. ” Ben pulled of his shirts and lifted his arms above his head exposing his super sweaty, smelly, hairy pits. Ben leaned his face into one and took a deep breath In Through his nose. “Mmmmm, you’re gonna love these.” He said acting as if his pits smelled remotely good. “Come to daddy” he stated as he grabbed the back of my head and pulled me into his left pit. Now I know that I keep saying how bad everything smelled, but ben’s pits were crazy. I told you earlier how they were always sweaty, well now with my face in one, I can tell you that his armpits most defiantly smelt like they were always sweating. Ben rubbed my face all throughout his pit, making sure that I smelt every nasty detail that hid between his curly underarm hair. “ oh my god, you are so welcome bitch, I know that you must be in heaven right now,but don’t worry you don’t need to thank me. l am so glad that my stink can be your happiness” Ben said in such a cocky manner. As Ben swirled my face around if his pits I realized that if I breathed through my mouth I wouldn’t have to smell his stink anymore, to bad that I wasn’t the only one who realized this. As soon as I started breathing through my mouth Ben got pissed. He released my head from his armpit and through me to the floor. “ how dare you try to avoid smelling my pits, you think you’re so sly? You lost and I won so you are going to do what I say and enjoy it.” Ben shouted angrily. Ben stormed to his suitcase and pulled out a role of duck tape “ you asked for this not me” he stated. With that, Ben picked up one of his sweaty socks and said “ hope you like the taste of feet” and shoved the sock in my mouth. After that he used the duck tape to tape my mouth shut. His sock tasting disgusting, his sweat oozed out of it onto my tongue and I had no choice but to taste it. “Now, where were we?” Ben said as he grabbed the back of my head and pulled it into his other pit. Once again Ben held my face deep in his pit, laughing at me when I struggled. Now with his dirty sock In my mouth I had no choice but to inhale his horrible armpit. After a little while longer of being Bens sweat towel. He released
my head. Ben looked at me and stated to laugh “ okay bitch you look wiped, if you want to be fine just tell me and I’ll stop” I tried to say I wanted to be done but with his sock in my mouth and my mouth being taped shut I couldn’t get a word out. “ okay bro, if you want to keep going that’s fine with me I can go all night” Ben said as he stood up and began to pull down his pants.
Ben pulled down his pants and stood In front of me in nothing but his dirty, sweaty jock strap. He turned around so his bare butt was directly In front of my face. He grabbed the back of my head and pulled my face in between his two furry butt cheeks. “Ohhh yea bro, you’re nose feels so great on my ass. Practice really hurt my gluteus today, but I have a feeling you’re about to make them a whole lot better.” Ben continued to rub his ass with my face. Forcing my nose to be bombarded with such a horrible stench. Drops of sweat had accumulated on the hair on his butt and all I could do was let it happen as Ben mopped the sweat off his ass, with my face. ” okay dude now you are going to put me to bed by massaging my butt with your face.“ Ben stated in a very chill tone. He walked over to his bed and lied down in it, butt up. Reluctantly I walked over to his bed and positioned my face above his hairy bubble butt. Then it began the worst hour of my life. I massaged ben’s ass with my face for a whole hour, he constantly kept ooooing and ahhhing “bitch that feels amazing, oh dude I think we are going to do this every night” he had to have said those things at least six times. Once he decided that I had massaged him long enough he got up and said “ great job tonight bro, It’s only going to get better from here.” With that he went to bed, and everyday on that trip got even more and more gross for me.


“My favorite thing in the world is when it feels like something starts to get up and walk itself. When something’s really good, and it’s rare — honestly I’ve made a million bad movies. Not bad, it’s just like sometimes they don’t come together in a way that feels miraculous and when they do, it genuinely feels like something is floating and you’re all sort of blowing on it to keep it up and it’s like, that fully happened. It’s so cliché, it feels like super pretentious to say this, but you genuinely feel like this vessel and you’re like, ‘That was sick, I don’t even know what just happened,’ and it’s just fucking real.”

I am not graceful,
I am rather goofy.
I am not composed, calm by no means. 
My hair open and messy means messy, not cute, 
My tongue tends to slip out from between my horizontal teeth gap when I talk,
And don’t even try telling me you find that cute. 

I say things really quickly and am often out of breath,
The thoughts in my head are infinite, but my vocabulary makes my words so sadly finite. 
I don’t write anything even near to profound,
Issues are only issues when they affect me,
In that way, yes, I am self centered.
I am not pretentious,
Well if I was, I would never accept it.

I know as I speak, I feel my words, I feel myself being so petty,
So pathetic, so lost in my sea of self doubt,
There’s not one coherent sentence I am able to form.  
I live in the intangible world, where emotions are all that matter. 
Everything I love and care about is technically not even existent. 
Practically, I should be solving math equations right now, 
But why do I always find myself drawn to messier things?


It was a stupid dare, and you were a dumbass to go through with it…

A new tattoo removal clinic opened over the summer, and you guys were curious about it, even though no one in the group had any tats. So Jake, your obscenely wealthy roommate, convinced you to get some ink on your forehead, and keep it there for two weeks until you started getting laser treatments to get rid of it.

Jake would pay for the tattoo, and then for the removal. And if you went about your college life without covering up the tat or holing up in your room while you had it, you could choose any tattoo that would stay on Jake’s ass until graduation. Sure, you were in for a lot of pain, and the whole plan sounded like something straight out of Jackass, but college is the time to do stupid shit, and maybe these shenanigans could get you famous on Youtube or something.

While you sat in the chair, Jake showed the tattoo artist something from his phone. After a few hours wincing through the pain, you were handed a mirror and told to open your eyes. A meat emoji? You were surprised, but relieved that it wasn’t something obscene or embarassing.

The first few days, it unnerved you how everyone’s attention went straight to your forehead. You had to get used to telling everyone that yes, it’s a meat emoji, yes, it’s real. No, you weren’t that drunk when you got it. People started treating you different, too. In your classes, no one took you or what you had to say seriously.

Same thing in the quad: students tabling for clubs and causes might’ve chatted with you about the tattoo, but never gave you their spiel or their fliers. It was like they all assumed you were a dumbass who wouldn’t be interested in stuff like lit-zines, astronomy, or the environment, even though you were. Interested, that is. Not a dumbass. But if they’re all gonna be stuck-up pretentious assholes who think they’re so smart, did you really need to be in their org?

Good thing the rugby club captain was so cool to you, though. He said your tattoo showed you were the right kinda crazy he’d need in a rugby player. And he actually had been talking with Jake, who had played in prep school and was thinking about joining too.

Before you knew it you were showing up for practices and workouts, learning the basics, and bonding with the team and Jake. One day Jake called you MEATHEAD while poking your forehead, and the name stuck. That became the only thing the team called you, and even though it was the third week that you had the meat tat, you decided to put off removing it until the season was over.

Of course, now that you were known as MEATHEAD and were even getting a jersey with the nickname, you had to look the part. Meatheads need to be meaty, brah. With Jake as your workout partner, you chased gains 6 days a week. Jake made sure you had all the best sups and nutrition, too. And he kept calling you MEATHEAD and poking your tat. It made your mind go gooey. Meat on your forehead. Meathead. Nothing but muscle on your mind.

A year into becoming MEATHEAD, you remembered that Jake still had to fulfill his end of the deal, which was to get tatted on his ass. This time, the whole rugby club was there in the shop. You went to use the bathroom but couldn’t get it open. The tattoo artist pushed it open after a minute of you trying to pull.

“Wow, you really are a dumbass MEATHEAD” he said with a snicker.

“Is that supposed to be an insult, bro?” you said, puffing up your beefy chest.

Despite everyone telling you to calm down you couldn’t stop ranting about how you worked for all your muscle and you’re proud of your body and proud to be a MEATHEAD. In fact, you wanted the whole world to know, right then and there. So the plan to tat Jake’s ass was scrapped for a new one, and you sat back into the chair where you were marked with your identity a year ago. You are going to have a steak on your chest, with the words, “MEATHEAD PRIDE.” Because you are proud to be nothing but a dumbass walking slab of beef, with nothing but muscle on the mind.