is there something in my teeth

illoustrioustaco  asked:

(1/5)Sooo.. I was just re-reading 'Appology Accepted' and also down to page 30something of your Double Agent Anakin tag. I remembered reading something about an 'offed by vader' club. With that in mind, my next thought was of course that Mon Mothma.. lied. Through her teeth, with a smile and a perfect poker face, she lied. Needa is in fact NOT the third person to know who Ekkreth is.. there are at least a dozen he's 'executed' face to face, though they will never know until after the dust

settles.

By the time all of the fallout is taken care of, and the survivors start cautiously comparing notes, Anakin is in the med bay, and a group of former imperials and former imperial spies has gathered nearby, talking quietly about working under Vader, and one of them quietly says ‘he saved my life. I wouldn’t be here today if he hadn’t 'executed’ me.’

Then another gives a similar story, and Needa, well he wonders, because the first one to talk had been out for months, maybe years, before Vader got him out, so this must have been the second person to know, right?

Wrong, because others are saying similar stories, and some of them were out well before Needa as well, and one of them mentions that Mothma told him he was the third person to find out who Ekkreth was, and that’s when it dawns on most of them that.. well. Mon Mothma is a rebel leader, literally the intelligence hub of the entire rebel army. She knows everything, and everyone knows she has a perfect memory for it all, couldn’t forget even if she wanted to.

They know she lied to them. Of course, while it’s a shock it’s not exactly something they didn’t expect. As they get over it someone suggests making the unofficial club, and later they may go as far as getting shirts printed up proudly proclaiming “I was killed by Lord Vader and all I got was this lousy T-shirt.”

Luke of course thinks this is hilarious, though Anakin is mildly embarrassed the first time he sees the shirts. (He eventually gets it as well, adding his own morbid puns and it becomes something of a meme.)

They’re also some of the most annoying of his mother hens, getting over their fear of him quickly. The vast majority of them seem to think it’s their universe given right to take care of him in return. Unanimously, every one of them joins him when he leaves to free the slaves. Of course, watch me finish getting through the Double Agent Anakin tag and see you’ve already got something like this XD…            

You know, I’ll be completely honest: when I wrote Apology Accepted, I actually did think that Needa was literally the only person besides Mon Mothma and Leia who knew that Vader was a double agent.

The idea of the Offed By Vader squad came later, and (as with many aspects of this ‘verse, and indeed the entire concept of the ‘verse itself) it originally started as crack. But the more I thought about it the more intriguing I found the idea, and it does fit quite well into the structure and themes of the story.

And now, well. The thing is, it actually makes more sense to assume that there are others Anakin’s extracted by “killing” them. That Needa probably wasn’t his first fake kill. Looking back at Apology Accepted, he certainly seemed to have his extraction plan down to a science, and he was definitely more annoyed at the necessity of “killing” Needa (and thus losing a potential ally in the fleet) than he was concerned about keeping their cover. Even if I wasn’t actually planning it intentionally, everything about Anakin’s attitude in Apology Accepted implies that he’s done this before.

And yes, of course Mon Mothma, head of Alliance Intelligence and master spy, is not going to tell the slowly but steadily growing group of people who have all been “killed” by Vader about each other. There aren’t that many of them, all told, and she’s probably careful to keep them assigned to different Rebel cells, so the odds that they’ll encounter one another are slim. If they do, they all know better than to talk about their extraction.

Some of them have probably wondered about each other, but the actual conversations don’t start until they all hear that Vader is in an Alliance medbay.

They probably turn up individually, some of them not even fully sure of what they’re hoping to accomplish by being there. It’s just…well, for many of them, the fact that Darth Vader is a Rebel still doesn’t entirely compute. And they run into each other outside the medbay and there’s an unspoken understanding there. Okay, they think. It wasn’t just me. This really happened.

Eventually, somebody starts talking about it. Not in a lot of depth (they’re still military officers, after all, and this is still a highly classified situation), but somebody says, “He got me out,” and then somebody else says, “He saved my life,” and pretty soon they’ve realized that they all have this shared experience.

Someone jokingly suggests forming a club. Someone else jokingly makes the shirts. One day Luke and Leia catch Needa wearing one, and he’s instantly apologetic, but it turns out they love it. (Luke wants a shirt of his own, but the answer is a firm no. Only people who have been killed by Lord Vader can wear one. Sorry kid.)

By the time Anakin’s up and about and allowed to receive groups of visitors, the OBV Squad is something of a phenomenon, and he’s completely blindsided by it.

They give him a shirt. Luke pouts and says it’s not fair, but Anakin just laughs at him and says, “Oh come on now, Luke. You’ve got to look at it from the right point of view. Darth Vader did kill Anakin Skywalker.”

Luke scowls at him. “That’s never going to be funny, Dad,” he mutters, without any real heat.

Somewhere in the Force, Obi-Wan sighs.

it has been three years and i am still picking gravel from the skin of my knees where i knelt too long by altars that only ever burned down. i am godforsaken and forsaking god, a church of disappearing deities. heaven is receding and i am retreating and i am sick of pretending things have changed. i didn’t want to be this burning person, this bloody body with a bible between my teeth but here we are anyway. god’s gone and i’m leaving. what is the use of abandoning something that is already vacant? what is the use of being there at all?
—  GOD, FORSAKEN || s.o.

thedancingwalrus-blog  asked:

What helps when you've got problem with executive disfunction? I'm trying to get a handle on my autistic characters and I think some real life examples of how executive disfunction works and how an autistic person might cope with it could help. Both characters have quite flexible jobs (in that when and how they do the job is flexible, they could get up at 6am or 3pm so long as the job is done) so it's really up to them to impose a routine on their lives.

Here are some techniques I’ve found help with executive dysfunction:

  • Setting a routine. As you may know, autistics often like to have a set routine and stick to it, so if something is part of their daily routine, they’re more likely to manage to do it. For example, brushing my teeth is part of my after-shower routine, but I am pretty much unable to do it at any other time.
  • Asking for outside motivation. While executive dysfunction is not a problem of motivation, motivation can help overcome executive dysfunction. Someone can help motivate the autistic character. For example, when I have to shower, my girlfriend asks for a hug (which is highly motivating, obvs), so I have to get up to hug them. And then I’m up and that’s one fewer step to do. It helps overcome the “inertia” (difficulty to get started on tasks/to switch tasks) caused by executive dysfunction. Sometimes, a simple friendly “command” like “Get started now!” can also help, because following someone else’s instructions or trying to obey yourself are different things. If your two characters are friends/ partners, they could even help each other that way.
  • Breaking the task into small steps (for example, “getting in the shower” is getting clean clothes, getting a towel, going in the bathroom with all of this, putting them down in the bathroom, taking shirt off, taking pants off, taking underwear off, checking there is soap and shampoo in the shower, stepping into the shower) and writing it down for future reference, or have someone else doing it for your character.
  • Counting to ten. Your character can count to 10 (or 5 or 20 depending on how difficult the task is, a harder tasks needs more counting time in my experience), and do the next step when they get to 10.
  • Setting alarms which can remind you to do tasks and can act as prompts to get started on the task.

I’m sure other people have other techniques, and everyone is invited to share theirs!

-Mod Cat

anonymous asked:

I'm not cis either. I'm genderfluid as well as pansexual. And like I have no problem using something different. My problem was your reaction, the whole rolling your eyes thing. That actually kinda hurt a bit, especially coming from a blog that I really look up to. It kinda almost made me feel invalid because of a word choice. Do I think that was your intention, of course not. But, now it makes me feel terrified talking to you that perhaps I'm just not right or good enough.

I never react to things on tumblr, I just don’t. But this is something that genuinely bothers me and makes me grit my teeth when I see it. It is my reaction. There will always be people of groups that aren’t offended by things and say “yeah use it, I don’t care!” And there will always be people who do. This, racial slurs/racism, sexism, and cultural appropriation are the things I have major problems with. Other than that, I’m fine. I have a problem with the above list bc they either hurt others or are disrespectful to others.

Other than that, it’s fine. This is one thing I’ve reacted to in at least 6+ months, if not the whole time I’ve had this blog. I swore and I was mad because it makes me mad. It feels disrespectful, like I said in that ask, to the queer folks who have come out of the closet and literally been killed. It’s not comparable to me.

I’m not the witch queen or anything, I’m not your mom, I can’t tell you what to say or what to think. I’m not the end all be all, you’re entitled to what you think, just as much as I am. I just personally don’t agree. Just because we have one differing opinion doesn’t mean I would think everything you say or do is wrong. I go out of my way to be kind, open, and understanding to everyone who comes into my inbox, regardless of opinions. I was asked about my opinion by that person and I gave it is all.

If you want to call yourself a closeted witch, do it, that’s not my choice. Just to me personally, coming out as a queer lady vs telling people I’m a witch don’t hold the same weight, fear, and backlash. One is a choice and one isn’t. My rights don’t get taken away from me bc I’m a witch.

Didn’t intend for it to be mean, I never do. Just my opinion is all.

Garbage Prose #2

We were smoke-stained teeth and cigarette burned jeans.
Teenage years spent wishing we were either older or dead.
Now desperate twenty-somethings seeking the warm hands
of another soul whose scars cling to tattered clothes from
halcyon days. Ages well before our names fluttered in their
lungs. Long before our eyes reminded them of storms from
nightmares spent in basements curled up in dusty corners.
We were smoke-stained memories and cigarette burns on
lagging tongues. Sour buds tasting kisses meant for much
purer lovers, but what does time know of magic moments?
Be a broken clock with me. Stutter and tick off key and never
be the right time for anything. Let us sleep in and tarnish sheets
and be all the worst we can be until the sun goes down and
only the stars and the moon can catch glimpses of our sin.

All the Good Love (Allison/Stiles/Derek)

sleepy-skittles said: allison/derek/stiles

penpal-olive said:Teeny fic: Derek/Allison/Stiles please?

Teeny fic #11. Hope y’all enjoy!

I can’t stop this feeling
Deep inside of me
Girl, you just don’t realize
What you do to me

Hooked on a Feeling by Blue Swede

All the Good Love. Allison/Stiles/Derek. Teen.

Stiles has lost his toothbrush, Derek’s sulking after being late that morning, and Allison’s just enjoying the show.

“Where’s my toothbrush?” Stiles looks around but doesn’t see the Captain America toothbrush that Scott bought him for Christmas. He sees Derek’s Superman toothbrush and Allison’s Wonder Woman, also gifts from Scott, but not his.

“Check the cabinet with the washrags,” Allison calls out from the bedroom. “You must have got something out of there this morning, possibly while brushing your teeth, because the door was left open when I came home.”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

4, jikook? 😁

4: “Did you just hiss at me?” - “Are you judging me?”

a/n: a cool dialogue challenge


“with all due respect,” jimin says through his teeth, fumbling with his hair through his reflection, “couldn’t you have gone with something more - reasonable?”

jungkook hums innocently, looking up from his phone to give jimin a cursory glance. he’s decked out in puppy ears and a thick, red collar with a tag, a real, actual tag (jimin doesn’t even want to know what it reads, honestly). the fluffiness of his hair and the softness of his (nonetheless sulky) eyes add well to the effect of puppy jimin, of retriever jimin.

it’s makes something purr inside of jungkook’s chest, makes him have to lean back in his seat to admire the sight. jimin leans forward from the mirror to swat at jungkook’s head once he notices the movement.

“it seems perfectly reasonable to me,” jungkook argues.

jimin would highly beg to differ. a seething sound leaves his throat, and he barely notices that it causes jungkook to give him a surprised look. he doesn’t even realize, doesn’t comprehend the noise he has just made until jungkook is blinking like a camera shutter, and asking him in an incredulous voice: “did you just hiss at me?”

“what?” jimin’s neck starts to heat up, whatever remaining remnant of his soul covering itself in shame and horror. he just hissed, really, like some animal? he covers his mouth.

“i thought hissing was for kitties.” jungkook snickers.

jimin whirls on him with a glare, and the snicker falls away like a mask. “are you judging me for it now?”

jungkook grins and nods, blatant.

jimin’s neck heats up further.

the laugh is back again, but not a quarter as a teasing as before and a whole lot more apologetic - well, as apologetic as it can be with the still light-hearted and amused tone it holds. jungkook stands up from their apartment’s couch to wrap his arms around jimin’s waist, nosing into his burning neck.

“come on,” he murmurs, his voice muffled, “ i think you look cute.”

another chuckle is buried into jimin’s shoulder, and its owner must be aware of how a warning growl rises dangerously in jimin’s throat, but all the owner does is widen his smile.

and that smile is a smile that fades only when jimin reveals the costume he has chosen for jungkook this year: a kitty cat.

(jungkook has to admit that it makes a really good halloween couple aesthetic.)

SW: 237
CW: 231.2
Change: -5.8

Alright, so I tried something different last week for my workouts and meditation. Instead of planning which days I would do them, I just tried to do them when I could. It didn’t work lol. So back to planning! And time for a little bit of a change.

  • Track all food everyday
  • Do walk challenge in Challenge group (C25K Sunday/Saturday, Tuesday, Thursday, mile walks otherwise)
  • Meditate Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday for 15 minutes
  • Brush teeth every day

I’ve got the Zombies! Run 5k trainer that I’m going to use. I need to add some music to listen to while doing it though. @cannabeast already recommended Panic! at the Disco, anybody else have recommendations?

2016 memes

2016 memes

January:
•bad new year jokes
•if a dog wore pants would he wear them like this or this
•all these suggestion blogs
•orange soda please
i’ll have the strawberry soda
me too, the strawberry soda
•You fucked up a perfectly good x is what you did. Look at them. They got anxiety.
•kylo ren is shredded
•Jared Leto: *does something*
Director: oh my God…it’s like…is he Jared…or Joker right now?????
•tag yourself
•super mario 64 half a press
•this is x. be like x

February:
•the finebros suing something
•secret government agent: *punches me in the face* SAY IT
me: never
secret government agent: x
me: *spits blood in their face* fUCK YOU
•bernie or hillary things that have a ridicilous issue and even funnier answers
•jean something, jomething
•damn daniel
•ted cruz is the zodiac killer

March:
•the dad from kuzco being like 👌
•kazoo kid
•everyone who watched zootopia is a furry
•history of japan
•x or y? *insert similiar pictures here, like donald trump and raw chicken*
•get you a man that can do both
•going to papaw’s house for burgers
•no oscar meme is dead meme
•we dem boyz
•i’m you but stronger

April:
•marge simpson
•different variations of the hs panel where jade picks up the note
•tumblr’s lizard voting
•everyone’s a dirty homestuck
•lot of those powerpuff selves
•baby stevens
•ruining someone’s dream journal
•there’s no way out of it you’ll just have to decapitate me
•autocorrect in verbal conversation
person1: i love you
person1: *hate
person2: this is a verbal conversation
•WHAT WE REALLY AREEE
•don’t talk to me or my son ever again
•dark x show me y

May:
•dan backslide (and dover boys)
•dat boi
•stone age spongebob

June:
•are you x or y person? (tag yourself meme in text format)
•get a man who can do both is getting more popular again
•it’s june where the fuck are halloween memes???

July:
•america memes
•IT’S HALLOWEEN
•the vacuum cleaner playing a harmonica
•associating characters/songs/etc. with spongebob screenshots
•this👏emoji👏after👏every👏word
•(any videogame) go, go outside and x
•a picture of something with text, and more pictures after that, in every one of the pictures the picture starts getting waaay worse, but the text gets really detailed
•HANDSY👏CLAPSY👏IS👏A👏NEW👏TROLLSONA👏
•judge: how do you plead?
x: *looks at y*
y: *mouths ‘not guilty’*
x: hot milky
y: jc just lock them up
•hitting the blue button

August:
•arthur screenshot where his hand is a fist
•9-1-1 for kids
•Exeggutor
•harambe
•RANDY YOUR STICKS
•sausage party
•how (character) are you feeling today? *numbers from 1 to ten with silly pictures of the character*
•alola form

September:
•the thing with voltron fandom where there’s train tracks and “death in season 2” and two characters and u have to choose which one to kill
•someone: a basic word
me, an intellectual: that word said with synonyms to make it sound weird
•gonna prank dad when he gets home ((he never gets home))
•[song] but it keeps getting faster

October:
•userboxes
•the presidental debate, i can’t believe that there still are people who want to vote trump after that, yikes
•dedede
•you vs the guy she told you not to worry about
•photofunia retrowave
•picture of someone with those math things
•my longest yeah boy ever
•taking a picture of something that requiers two hands in a bathroom
•posting ur favourite vines

November:
•christmas stuff
•dick: out
•sir, you’ve been in coma
•kermit with a hood on his head
•blurred image that says perfection, after that an image where glasses are being cleaned, and then something u like
•WE ARE NUMBER ONE

December:
•BODE
• *picture of really basic or bad food with text that’s spelled wrong and the phrase “bon appetit” is spelled even more wrong"
•*dropping something, and it spells send nudes*
•x but every time y happens it gets faster
*bee movie but every time they say bee it gets faster
•several spongebob memes
•i described the meme about bad pictures with detailed text in july, it’s wildly popular now
•dramatic youtubers

apparently i missed a few things so, additions:
•steven’s knife
•joe biden
•aux chord
•dabbing
•a lot of spongebob memes, like the blurry mister crabs
•nebby get in the bag
•clowns
•harambe happened earlier than it says on the list
•several stranger things memes
•we die like men

I suggest taking these ideas and compiling your own list of things you can do to take care of yourself!

have a pamper night

  • brush your teeth, floss, and use mouthwash
  • cleanse and tone your face
  • put on a face mask
  • light candles and put on music if you want
  • rinse off the face mask and get in the shower/bath
  • use a bath bomb/bubble bar/other lush products if you have them on hand
  • read in the bath if you’re not afraid to drop your book–personally I like to put my laptop on the bathroom counter and watch something on netflix
  • shampoo your hair and use a conditioning hair mask
  • use an exfoliating bar or scrub on your body and shave if that’s your thing
  • when you get out of the shower/bath and dry off
  • spray leave-in conditioner into your hair, comb through it, and let it air dry
  • moisturize your whole body with a luxurious/heavy moisturizer
  • moisturize your face and put on chapstick
  • if you pluck your eyebrows, take time to do it now (the heat of the shower will open your pores)
  • put on your favourite comfy pajamas/sweatpants and hoodie/tshirt/whatever
  • trim your nails, file them and/or paint them if you like to do that
  • get comfortable in your bed or on the couch, with a book or a movie or tv
  • make yourself a hot tea or hot chocolate (or coffee if it isn’t too late)
  • have a healthy snack like a fruit
  • relax and enjoy!

misc

  • have a movie marathon and make popcorn
  • buy something for yourself
  • take a day off from homework/work
  • cook something new and fresh, or cook your favourite food
  • go out to eat with your friends/family/partner
  • buy a present for a loved one
  • binge watch TV
  • bake something
  • spend time getting inspired on pinterest/tumblr
  • watch a seasonal movie and eat a seasonal snack (around halloween and christmastime for example)
  • clean/organize your room or rearrange the furniture, if you like doing that
  • personally, i love reorganizing my bookshelf!
  • take some time to do one of your hobbies such as art, writing, sports, photoshop, etc
  • buy new stationery
  • write in your journal
  • try and learn a new hobby
  • do a craft or diy project from pinterest
  • plan in your planner/bullet journal or take some time to get organized
  • go out to the movies and get snacks from the concession stand
  • go out to a cute cafe or dessert restaurant
  • buy new makeup
  • go for a long drive
  • indulge in some nice cheese, crackers, and grapes
  • buy a new book
  • meditate/practice mindfulness
  • get your nails or hair done
  • have a date night with your s/o
  • or have a night out with your friends
  • play with/spend time with your pets
  • write down some positive things or favourite memories
  • declutter your positions
  • take a break from social media
  • go for a run or walk
  • if your diet is lacking, detox and eat only fresh and healthy food for a day
  • alternatively, if you’re usually healthy, treat yourself to some junk food
  • do your hair and makeup and put on your favourite outfit
  • put on some sexy underwear/lingerie and perfume
  • watch something that makes you laugh (funny movies/tv, vine compliations, youtube videos, or just go through a funny blog on tumblr)
  • if you’re into it, do a tarot reading
  • read your horoscope
  • say no
  • or: say yes
  • take a nap
  • discover new music
  • play your instrument
  • go to a museum or an art gallery
  • look at old photos and photo albums
  • make a bucket list
  • set goals
  • go for a walk and take photos
  • watch an informative ted talk or documentary
  • play video games/computer games
  • have a board game night
  • exercise, if you enjoy it
  • plan (or simply dream about) your next travel destination
  • drink plenty of water
  • go through memorabilia and childhood souvenirs
  • clear out your inbox

add your own suggestions (and your url) below!

underrated achievement hunter things
  • genuinely sweet geoff
  • geoff talking about millie
  • geoff joining in videos randomly and trying to join in but mostly just doing his own thing
  • geoff doing his own thing in lets plays in general
  • Old Man Geoff trying to stay Hip and With It
  • michael’s lil mischievous giggle (hmhmhmhmhmhmhmhmhhm)
  • ryan and michael already having three stars by the two minute mark in gtav
  • the camera cutting to someone else doing something menial while chaos ensues elsewhere
    • “OH MY GOD THERES SO MANY COPS” “RUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUN” *hard cut to geoff playing darts*
  • jack singing
    • everyone subsequently joining in
  • editors getting fed up with those in the video
  • ryan and gavin being assholes to each other
    • ryan and gavin being assholes to everyone else, together
  • jeremy being an asshole, surprising everyone
  • when the end of jeremy’s sentence turns into a wheeze
    • gavin does this too but its way less often
  • everyone going to jeremy when trying to remember stuff from old videos
    • jeremy not remembering things from old videos, surprising everyone
  • everyone holding back jeremy from doing something incredibly stupid and dangerous for the camera
    • except gavin, who is holding the camera
    • and money
  • jeremy being as devious and murderous, possibly even more so, than ryan
  • in the biker gtav let’s plays where jeremy is sloshed by the two minute mark
    • when he wakes up on the toilet and geoff is just like. standing there
  • jeremy “DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM” dooley
  • jokes about jeremy’s old fanfiction
  • jeremy being able to keep up the energy, somehow
  • jeremy in general, honestly
  • ghost ray/dead ray
  • when everyone talks over each other/has their own conversations at the same time and its just an incoherent mess, although apparently to them its not
  • geoff getting mad about rvb references
  • ryans inherent ability to understand what gavin is talking about or indulge in his weird questions/what ifs
  • when gavin doesnt even understand what hes trying to say
  • when someone else flubs and no one makes a big deal out of it, but ryan does because hes the only one they do it to and hes pissed about it
  • ryan being genuinely pissed (mingey)
  • when they make jokes or references about a video that hasnt even come out yet
  • when someone dies and they make a noise like the died in real life
    • when michael does this and goes all out (coughing, gurgling, “go on without me”)
      • when he doesnt actually die for awhile and he has to drag it out
    • ryan’s go-to noise for this (AGH-GHG!)
  • michael’s acting/roleplaying/improv skills
  • when someone comes up with a random off-the-cuff rule, scenario, whatever and everyone just immediately goes along with it
    • when everyone except one person does this and theyre like “what the fuck are you doing”
  • when someone in the video is responsible for a let’s play they all hate
    • when said person mentions off-hand how they couldve made it much worse
    • this usually being matt
  • matt fucking with people in general
  • mica teaming up with lindsay
  • when mica is really good at a game
  • when GEOFF is really good at a game
  • mica just being the sweetest person in the world
    • unless shes playing a game
    • then youre fucked
    • seriously it gets NASTY
  • when mica dies and ends up outside of whatever theyre doing and just sorta wanders around having a grand old time
  • mica’s costumes/cosplay
  • the fact that this list is really really long, and theres probably things that should be added to it

548: Shere Khan

“Now you have nothing. No claws. No fur. No teeth. And no friends”

Something a bit different from the usual daily drawings. Netflix put up The Jungle Book and I liked this line but wanted to do my own drawing for it. Dunno. I liked the idea that the tiger could end this kid with one swat but he is wary of the terrible fire in his hand. A few choice words might get him to drop it so he can strike. 

When they’ve got him in the interrogation room every officer seems to have the same question; was it worth it? With all that happened, with how it turned out, the years of drunken revelry, the constant media attention, the heists, the hubris, the way it ended in a bloodbath the likes of which Los Santos has never seen. This is your legacy Ramsey, was it worth it?

They ask like his answer means anything, ask like they even care what he thinks, ask like they don’t think he feels anything at all. They ask like it wasn’t his plans that brought him here. Like it wasn’t his plans the led to six body bags and a single pair of handcuffs, a room full of tactless officers and a kingpin with no one left to call crew. They ask like can’t help themselves from asking.

Was it worth it?



There’s never a serious discussion, no big heart to heart, but there’s no escaping the fact that the Fake’s all know they are dying in slow motion. More or less signed their own death certificate’s years ago, living on stolen time, and sooner or later they’ll find themselves in the ground.

They took Los Santos by storm and defended it with their lives. With each others lives. Have sacrificed themselves and the ones they love to a city that takes no prisoners. They fought hard for their crown, and kept on fighting every single day to succeed, to profit, to reaffirm themselves as the city’s biggest bads. They knew that they would only be unstoppable until they aren’t. Until the day they fall, and eventually they must fall.  

Even after all the years of action, all the blood, sweat and tears they’ve poured into this empire, everyone knows there is no such thing as retirement for the Fake AH Crew; for all they’ve already trained their own successors the frontrunners of the reigning crew in Los Santos will never be allowed to simply step down and move aside when their time is over. Between old enemies and constant rivals, members of law enforcement and anyone simply looking to boost their own reputation, there are countless numbers who would hunt them to the ends of the earth. Everyone knows, one way or another, the FAHC is going out bloody.

And by god, did they go out bloody.



The Fake’s die halfway through the afternoon on a Tuesday. What a fucking inconsequential day right? They were owed a Friday at the very least, were meant to go out past midnight, meant to go out in a blaze of glory. They were meant to go out all together. They weren’t meant to go out at all.  

The wheels fell off weeks before, a series of questionable jobs and public fights, a level of disorder totally out of line with the crew’s trademark cohesion. Rumour has it they were rife with in-fighting. Rumour has it after all this time the cracks were finally showing. Its easy, afterwards, to read into the events that came before, to manufacture clues, to swear the writing was on the wall for anyone to see. In reality no one saw it coming. In reality the whole damn city was taken by surprise.

Maybe they bit off more than they could chew, maybe they were distracted, out of sync, or maybe it was just the inevitable finally catching up with them but in the end the Fake’s wind up in a firefight they aren’t winning. After endless years of near misses and close calls, of lucky runs and brilliant timing, after thousands of impossible victories, the FAHC finally lost.

To lose like this, picked off one by one, powerless to save themselves, to save each other, must have been their worst nightmare. With every body on the ground those left only grew more furious, more reckless, lose whatever feeble grasp on self-preservation they ever had, throwing away any possibility of retreat in favour of retribution. It wasn’t enough.

In the end the only one left breathing on either side is Ramsey. The scene finally gone still, silent, the echoes of screams and gunfire fading away into a shivery stunned kind of shock. They say Ramsey’d fallen to his knees amongst the grime, iconic suit near indistinguishable under all the dirt and ash, the blood of men and women who thought they’d live forever. He kneels there in silence while sirens grow ever louder, makes no move to flee, doesn’t even look up from bodies as cars scream to a stop around him.

The messed up thing, the really fucked up part? They say Ramsey was laughing by the time the police got there. Say he stood and brushed himself off, surrounded by the bodies of those he claimed family, drenched sickly red while his empire lay in ruins, and laughed. And god doesn’t that confirm what everyone’s always thought, doesn’t that just prove he always was a monster. Never cared for anyone, for anything, not really. People used to say the one thing Geoff loved was his crew but it seems Ramsey’s cold-blooded ruthlessness won out in the end.



In the fallout of a travesty, of a victory, of an unexpected bloodbath, in a stark grey room faced with a distressingly apathetic villain, in circumstances none could have predicted, all the detectives seem capable of asking is if it was worth it in the end. They ask and ask and Ramsey’s answer never changes, his cold smirk never fades, so calm and unconcerned they catch him glancing at the clock, as though he’s bored. As though even now he’s got somewhere better to be. And still, full of horrified disbelief, they have to ask.

Was it worth it? Yes. Was it worth it? Always. Knowing what you know now, knowing how it ends, how they all go down for you, would you do it all again? Every damn time. Surely you have regrets, you had to know one day it would end like this.  

Oh baby, who says it’s over?



It comes together as a joke more than anything, the cumulation of too many late nights followed by too many bad movies. Their last job was tense, a heist with months of preparations and so much on the line, and while they’ve certainly celebrated their victory like royalty they didn’t come away unscathed. The injuries, numerous though mostly minor, serve to once again remind them all how lucky they’ve been so far. How most don’t make it nearly this many years without tragedy, couldn’t be in the game this long, let alone running the game this long without signing up for devastation. How losing a member, to outright death or crippling injury, is without a doubt only a matter of time at this point. How such a loss will be so much worse in this ridiculously close-knit crew than any they’d experienced before.

Sobering thoughts, combined with the difficulties of winding down after endless weeks of  stress eventually leads to the discussion they never have, the question of what else they could be doing with their lives, what choices brought them here, what they would do if they could just step out, sign off, retire. It’s not that they’re bored of this life they’ve built – how could they be when the world is their oyster – but there’s no denying the fact that after all this time terrorising Los Santos doesn’t quite thrill them like it used to.

If you’d asked any of them ten, five, hell even two years ago they’d have scoffed at the idea of ever retiring, would have sworn up and down that they wanted to go down in flames, to end with a bang, and at the time they meant it. At the time it was true. It still is, in a way, they’ll probably always see something dreadfully appealing in going out on top, but with every passing year it’s harder and harder to look at a room full of people they love and consider playing a role in their deaths. Every time they get hurt it takes a little longer to heal, the old aches and pains are becoming more prominent, and their ever growing patchwork of scars have started looking less badge of honour than they do morbid countdown. Obviously they’ve still got it, still in their prime enough to keep their crown, but between age and gratuitous injury, time is creeping up on them all.

The Fake’s used to joke about the end, said whoever lasted longest won, got to make off with the fortunes, live like a king, but that reality isn’t quite so funny anymore. The idea of surviving, of being left behind with nothing but cold hard cash and heyday memories is enough to make them physically ill. So maybe retiring doesn’t seem quite so unappealing anymore.

Maybe a passing comment way too late at night, after far too much mixing of alcohol and pain meds, in the spirit of some dumb con movie they’d all been heckling, was enough to plant an idea. A ridiculous, unrealistic, completely unattainable idea, but still an idea nonetheless. They’re all a bit hung up on it, still joking, still assuring one another that they aren’t serious, but still bringing it up all the same, running through all the possibilities.

It would take far more than simply disappearing; they have too much wealth and notoriety, have far too many enemies, the world is simply too easy a place to comb through these days. People, at least the vast majority of people, would have to be convinced not to come looking. Convinced there was nothing to look for, nothing to track, would have to think the absent members of the Fake AH Crew were in the one place no one could ever reach them.

There are ways, of course, to feign death. For those with the right contacts, with endless money and enough resources, there are ways to trick the body into something close enough to pass, at least for a time. But even then it’s not so simple; there must be witnesses, there must be evidence, crook and cop alike must be sure. Of course with a public death comes increased risk- it wouldn’t do to go so far in their act that appearances became reality, to go to such lengths to imitate death only to wind up that way regardless. Somehow, someone’s going to have to play guardian, prevent anyone’s corpse from catching a stray bullet to the brain, or jerking back to life too late with guts already laid out on an autopsy table. Someone has to be ready to whisk them all away, and who do any of them trust more than the man they’ve been following all these years. The boss they’d die for. The boss they will die for.

They don’t talk about it, because no one wants to admit it might be happening, no one wants to burst the bubble, to invite reality to rush in and crush the unbelievable thought that the Fake’s might get a happy ending, but at some point they stop laughing. At some point they each quietly start getting all their ducks in a row, using their free time to organise their affairs.

No one questions the way Geoff and Jack have started having day-long meetings with the support crew in-between jobs, the way Lindsay’s spending far more of her time recruiting than ever before, the way Gavin’s taking calls at all hours of the day, rarely in english, clearly haggling over something. They don’t wonder why all their money is getting moved around, why Ryan and Michael are busy collecting all outstanding debts while Jeremy and Ray are plotting the layout of the police station, the morgue.

It’s all happening on the down low, all behind business as usual, but eventually, after nearly a year of quiet organisation, they are just about ready to disappear. All that’s left is the bang, the flashy smoke and mirrors, the hook to stop anyone coming after them, anyone even thinking to track them down. One final step, one last decision to make, a choice they must commit to as one or not at all. All they’ve got left to do is die.



Over the years the Fake AH Crew has grown exponentially but the original elements have never drifted apart, never gone looking for something else or turned on one another. The crew has flourished, become a full blown empire, but nothing can touch the unity of the innermost members, as strong now as it have ever been. For all their loyal familiarity was mocked back in the day, for all their closeness was seen as a weakness, after all these years it seems only death itself will seperate them now. If they had the chance to evade their own mortality one last time, to get out, to be free, would they make the leap?



The Fake’s die halfway through the afternoon on a Tuesday. Pattillo, the Vagabond, Mogar and the Golden Boy, Little J and Brownman, but not the boss. Well not on paper anyway – any who knew them must know Ramsey’d never recover from the loss. Any who didn’t just know the LSPD took seven bodies away that day and none of them ever came back. It’s not a stretch to assume Ramsey’s survival was a rumour. To believe it wishful thinking, to say he died at the scene or died at the station, delayed injury or the cops cleaning up the last loose thread of the group who’d made their lives living hell for years.

There’s paperwork out there, somewhere, claiming a different story. A report that barely makes a lick of sense, the sworn record that a kingpin arrived in chains and left with corpses, slipped out of his cell like he was never there, without a hint as to how he got free. He disappeared like smoke, not a trace left behind, and none of the seven alive or dead ever resurfaced. The story is embarrassing, inexplicable, and it reflects badly enough on the LSPD that it is quickly buried.

Even if it hadn’t been there are few who would believe it. Few who could believe for even a moment that Ramsey could walk free and not be with the last of his crew, that he would let another run his empire, run his city, if he was in any way capable of preventing it. No, however it went down Ramsey did not survive. It’s fitting, really. No one can live forever and the OG Fake’s were certainty pushing their luck, had been pushing it for years; a crew that close should go out together.



The Fall of the Fake AH Crew isn’t much of a fall, in the end. The seemingly inevitable power vacuum one would expect following the death of the group who’d been running the city for endless years never comes. It shouldn’t be possible but even after the most devastating loss imaginable the the FAHC isn’t toppled from their throne. They restructure almost overnight; many of the oldest, original members of the support crew bow out, disappear on the wind without a trace, but there are more than enough left behind to fill their shoes. It’s almost perfect, almost unbelievable, some of support shuffling into the spotlight while still more unknown faces are revealed to boost their ranks. Their ability to keep their enemies at bay during the turmoil is impressive enough, but it’s the absence of internal conflicts that is truely boggling; there are no betrayals or executions, no public power plays or jealous feuds, somehow the city’s most scrutinised gang managed to completely restructure after the loss of not just their leader but all their key members without a single hitch. Almost like they were ready, like it was planned.



If the Fake’s had the chance to stay together, to start over somewhere else, stop waiting for the day one of them inevitably doesn’t make it home, but in return they had to step away from the action, give up everything they’d built, hand if off to legacy and fade out into legend, would it be worth it?

Apparently, yes. For all of them, from the moment the possibility arises, throughout every conversation, every debate and consideration, with everything they will lose, with everything they stand to gain, every goddamn time without fail, yes.



Somewhere out there, worlds away from Los Santos, a man sits on a private beach. He isn’t armed with anything more than a beer, there are no weapons, he simply sits upon the sand enjoying the breeze. There’s a woman to his right, sunbathing, a man to his left doing the same; golden tans make their startling number of scars stand out in stark relief but the heat of the sun does wonders for stubborn pains. At the shoreline old friends are knocking shoulders, bumping each other nearer and nearer to the water, not quite rough-housing like little boys but they’re getting close, voices rising on the wind.

The single house behind them is huge and noisy, full of music and chatter, full of monsters and overgrown children, the most loyal humans the man has ever had the honour of knowing. In a brief moment of silence sound from the television drifts down to the beach, an American news anchor reporting the latest infraction of some criminal organisation in a far away city; the house cheers and kicks back into a merry roar. Down by the water there is a betrayal, a splash and screeching protest as one winds up in the waves against his will. Safe on the sand, without a trouble in the world, the man laughs.

hopelessly in love with fahc freewood, send help