is there any need though

Happy birthday Zen!
Here’s my April Fools’ prank. I promised something spicy but you get fluff instead. I hope you’re not making a sad face. I’m smiling (: 

i have literally no sense of time beyond a couple days, either forwards or backwards

something happened a week ago? sure, but it feels the same to me as if it was three weeks ago, or three days. something else happened? ok, but i cant tell you if it came before the other thing, or after, or even on the same day

& if something is more than a week in the future, it just doesnt exist. i cant plan for it. i cant remember any plans people tell me about it. i cant prepare for anything beyond the horizon

its never had too much of an impact on me, but im scared of whatll happen if im a suspect for a crime

‘what were you doing 8pm last friday?’ something, im sure. maybe nothing. honestly i feel like ive only existed this second. ‘you told us this sequence of events before, but now youve changed the order. are you lying?’ i mean im not trying to deceive you but theres a 90% chance that anything i tell you is a false memory. isnt there someone else you can ask? if i try to give you the story again, itll be different again

I put Cassandra in a dress
(now I run for my life)

8

LOIS:  Look, Clark, I know that I got a little thorny when you raised the red flag on A.C.
CLARK:  I was just trying to look out for you.
LOIS:  And I appreciate it.  I’ve just never had someone to help guide me through the shark-infested ocean of romance. … Not that I can’t fend for myself.
CLARK:  You know, I think I was wrong about our friend A.C.

Rocky Road

Rocky Road
Ship:
Jungkook | Reader
Description: After dumping your all too vanilla ex, you want to go back to your fuck buddy, who added a bit more flavor to your sex life.
Warning: Dom!Kook, Slapping, Spanking, Exhibitionism, Blowjob, Degrading Names, Master Kink, Hair Pulling, Choking, Intercourse
Word Count: 5,378
A/N: It’s 3:31 and I’m going to die. But I’ve been really craving dom!Kook and this idea seemed too good to pass up. Enjoy!

Keep reading

6

@pilferingapples Have I mentioned lately that you’re awesome? Because you are.

I've actually decided that I can hairspray my fringe, which makes it crispy and less soft but it isn’t doing this *flips into his eyes* while I’m trying to talk. So there’s my little beauty tip. Second beauty tip I’ve learnt: If you’ve just had a hair cut or your hair is not working properly  put some dry hair shampoo in your hair before you go to sleep because then your hair releases oils in the night and that’s when the dry hair shampoo can be like “no, I am a barrier!”, so I’ve been doing that. And it’s made my hair look nicer the next day, if I’m having one of those days. “Oh my gosh, beauty tips with Phil #BeautyTips”. I know. Look at me knowing how to use dry hair shampoo. Phil, the hair specialist. Depends on what kind of hair you have. I’ve just got hair that turn into a bit of a greasy rat after about a day, so that helps. *chuckles* Yeah, so that’s my beauty tips. Any other beauty tips? We need some kind of beauty vlog music though for beauty tips. *finds generic royalty free background music* Is this beauty? It sounds like I’m going on a journey with my animals to get to a new circus. So your next beauty tip is, if you have a zit, try putting some toothpaste on it the night before you go to sleep because it dries you out. Also try not to pop the zit because that hurts and it can leave a scar. This should just be the theme tune to my life. I’m just going to play this. *continues to wiggle to the music* Other beauty tips with Phil… I don’t have any other ones… hmm… don’t drop things on your feet because it makes them bruise. It’s getting a bit DanAndPhilCRAFTS now. Protip! … What other beauty tips? Drink lots of water. Stay hydrated. ‘Cause then your skin will have a drink. Don’t be afraid to moisturise. I actually started moisturising quite a lot. Cleanse in the shower, then afterwards your face will be a bit dry so then you moisturise after you’ve done that. Protip! “What moisturiser do you use?” I don’t really have… oh, I got some Clinique for Men. I need to stop this now *turns off music* this is endless. I got some Clinique for Men. Why is it for “men”? I would just have the normal Clinique but I got for Christmas in like one of those Christmas things. Apparently it’s specifically designed for my roughed skin. But that is working quite well. Smells quite nice. … “Gendered skin care is ridiculous.” What I think is ridiculous is how the women’s deodorant is always more expensive than the men’s and it’s exactly the same product. It just smells a bit nicer. I can’t believe that. That's should be changed. If it’s the same product, why is it more expensive to be a girl and need deodorant? Who knows? Why does it even exist?
— 

@amazingphil during his live show on the 8th of June 2017 (x)

Quotes from Phil (3/?)

Meet Phil who dishes out #BeautyTips and bashes gendered beauty products while being utterly adorable. 

#SanversWeek Day 2: Nerd Girlfriends

This one’s an actual minific! Does this count as summer work for my chem class next year?

Alex smiled at how Maggie scribbled formulas onto her chemistry homework, with her eyebrows furrowed and her pencil digging into the paper. She’d only transferred here from Hillcrest High a few months ago, but the two of them had became closer than either of them expected.

There was a part of Alex that admired how open Maggie was about being gay. She’d told her about what happened- why she was disowned and ended up in Midvale. How even though her dad didn’t let her say goodbye to her mom, and he called her all those names- no, not names- slurs and insults and things that no father should ever call his daughter, she still embraced herself.

She admired that. In fact, it made her wonder some things about herself- the only thing she’d ever embraced was her ability to quickly balance equations since sixth grade.

With that, she realized that she was as close as she could be to Maggie, but she wanted something more. But she kept her mouth shut, because you have to focus on your grades and high school relationships don’t matter and don’t ruin this like you ruined your friendship with Vicki last year.

Maggie looked up from her homework and chuckled at how intently Alex was watching her. “What’s up?”

“Nothing, just… you’re good at that.” 

“Am I?”

Ms. Lane glared at them, signaling them to be quiet. Maggie smirked at Alex, who rarely got in trouble. Ignoring their teacher, she ripped a piece of paper off of her own homework.

This is your chance. Maggie likes you. Otherwise, she wouldn’t be your friend. Wait, what if she doesn’t like me like that? It’s fine. 

She quickly scribbled a few words on it and handed it to Maggie.

Do you have 11 protons? Because you’re sodium fine.

“Sodium fine…” Maggie mumbled. “So damn fine…” Grinning, she looked up at Alex, who shrugged at her. “Smooth, Danvers. You trying to ask me out?”

Alex’s eyes widened just as the bell rang, and Maggie left the classroom with a soft smile and no answer, surrounded by a sea of other students.


She didn’t see Maggie again until biology, where they were in the middle of watching a documentary about DNA and RNA and base pairing rules. Of course, both of them knew everything there was to know, so Maggie slid into the seat next to Alex. She pulled a piece of paper out of her pocket, wrote a few words on it, and gave it to Alex.

I wish I was adenine, so I could get paired with U.

Alex snorted and looked at Maggie as her heart began to race. Mr. Carr shushed the two of them, who leaned back in their chairs and stared at the movie being projected on the board. 

Thoughts raced through Alex’s head- What does this mean for us? How did she come up with that one? Did she look it up on the internet? No, she’s way too smart. And creative. And funny.

Next to her, Maggie looked perfectly fine, as if she was completely unfazed. But- Does she know I’m flirting with her? Of course she does, she flirted with me first. Was that flirting? Yeah, it was flirting. And she’s not stupid. She’s amazing. And intelligent. And beautiful, so beautiful.


The next time Alex and Maggie saw each other was at the end of the day, when the two of them met at their usual place between their lockers.

“Alex.” Maggie beamed as her friend sauntered towards her.

“Yeah?” Although the two of them were the same age, Alex towered over Maggie and looked down at her with sparkling eyes.

With a deep breath, Maggie let it out. “Are you a carbon sample? Because I want to date you.”

Alex stifled a laugh. “Carbon dating, that’s clever,” she said. “You know I’d love to date you, too.” Her smile faltered a bit, and she looked down at her hands. “But-”

“You’re scared.”

Alex raised an eyebrow. “How’d you guess?”

“I get it,” Maggie told her reassuringly. “You’re scared that this might not work out if we turn it into a relationship. So before we do this, is it what you really want?”

Alex reached for her hand and squeezed it. “Maggie, I’m more attracted to you than a fluorine ion is attracted to an electron.”

“Alex, oh my god.”

Belle/Adam and children

alternative title: I Can’t Believe My First Proper Contribution To A Fandom After So Many Years Is Fucking Disney Headcanons

also, this got really out of hand. still.. enjoy?

- Belle doesn’t want to have children for another ten years, and that makes everyone, literally everyone in the village Upset™ (bc nothing, even a thought goes unnoticed in a village, apparently) [okay, her father isn’t upset, but he doesn’t really get it either]

-  Adam does want to have children, but he understands Belle and respects her wish – he thinks she’ll make a marvellous mother (he’s seen her plenty around children) once she’s ready

- and besides, he’s not sure he’ll ever be able to give his children all the love he wants to give them; he’s not afraid of turning into his father anymore, now that he has Belle, but he’s terrified of not being enough

- Belle figures that out after a while, and even though it breaks her heart, it also makes her even more determined to show him just how happy he makes her, their friends, their people

- (on that note, Adam definitely has a praise kink)

- (but he enjoys praising Belle - and watching her reaction - as well? basically their communication during sex is A+, 10/10, would recommend)

-  but anyway, as effective contraception was basically non-existent as a term back then, and despite their being bright and well-read and everything (Belle a genius, even), there isn’t a solution they could come up with that would really work

-  (besides not having sex at all, obviously, but knowing themselves that’s so impossible/ridiculous a thought they don’t even say it out loud, just dismiss it for good)

- so Belle ends up visiting the Enchantress, despite their shared mistrust

-  ..and they have this amazingly thorough and comforting talk; by the end of it Belle is visibly more open and more forgiving

-  the Enchantress gives Belle the herbal+magical equivalent of a birth control pill basically, and they part on relatively good terms

-  but now Belle just wants to have sex all the time, which is really adorable/very hard to resist if you ask Adam

-  of course he knows she’s done something, and as Belle won’t tell him what’s this sudden, miraculous ’solution’, he can’t help but worry

-  she gets so annoyed she just kind of blurts it out one morning, and immediately regrets it

-  Adam goes from mildly worried to full-on panicking in about two minutes; he isn’t loud or dramatic for once – he becomes uncharacteristically quiet, and he looks so, so lost and afraid

-  Belle tries to convince him that it’s fine, everything is fine and the Enchantress wouldn’t have a ’reason’ to curse him/them this time – but it sounds really half-hearted the more desperate and guilty she becomes (he’s looking at her with big blue eyes, and when she moves to draw him into her arms, he’s shaking, holding onto her as if someone was to take her away if he let her go)

- that night, he kisses her, stroking her back as if she was the porcelain doll she very much isn’t, and refuses to do anything else – he doesn’t sleep a wink, either

- the next day there are as many as six physicians in the castle, and Belle huffs and grits her teeth in annoyance, but lets them examine her, looking for any physical sign of a curse

- they don’t find anything, and Belle nearly cries at Adam’s joyous, relieved expression when she tells him

- weeks pass, and although they are still just as affectionate as before, there’s this hesitation, unsureness between them that Belle hates more than anything – she can see Adam doesn’t like it, either

- she decides she’s had enough after a month of this, takes a deep breath, and tells Adam she’s ready to have children after all, they needn’t be that careful

- Adam knows it’s not entirely untrue, but also sees that stubbornly set jaw, that brave, upturned face, and decides to visit the Enchantress himself

- he comes back only slightly less terrified, but he kisses her palm and folds her fingers around the small vial, and Belle feels his trust heavy and sweet in that palm as he leans down to kiss her properly

- things grow.. easier in the next few years, between them and the Enchantress

- however, it’s not until the birth of their first child, healthy and perfect, that the last traces of worry fade from Adam’s eyes

- he still insists on co-sleeping with the baby (at least until Belle has recovered), and Belle, utterly in love with the child and now feeling confident enough to be a parent her mother would be proud of, agrees