is the title of the song

One of my favorite things is looking at the Snark Wars metrics page and seeing how many people I’ve gotten to click on a link to something totally stupid in order to understand one of my terrible jokes. 


  • A YouTube clip of “Put On Your Sunday Clothes” from Hello, Dolly!
  • The official website for Orange Julius, purveyor of smoothies at American shopping malls 
  • The Seed Savers Exchange (for all your heirloom gardening needs) 
  • The Wikipedia entry for “Shirley Temple (drink)”, a very sweet non-alcoholic/“mocktail” drink that grade-school-aged kids used to order at the bar at family weddings when I was a kid 
  • A YouTube clip of an early-90s TV ad for Halls cough drops 

I always feel like I should put a disclaimer next to the links that’s like “sorry, person who is too young to understand this reference and/or is not American, the payoff for clicking on this reference link will be so not worth it.”

曲: playlist #1

spotify link : a few common songs kangjun listens to. a feel good playlist, meant to be accompanied by clear blue skies, a cool breeze, and played on the way to meet good company.

i. babe by bc soloist one / ii. baby don’t like it by unity / iii. blue moon by hyolyn / iv. catch fire by five seconds of summer / v. classic by mkto / vi. cold water by justin bieber & major lazer / vii. darling my sugar by dia l.u.b / viii. dinosaur by akdong musician / ix. don’t recall by element / x. find me by hyosung ft d. action / xi. here’s to never growing up by avril lavigne / xii. all mine by f(x) / xiii. can we dance by the vamps / xiv. friday night by sonamoo / xv. fxxk it by bigbang / xvi. i know what you did last summer by shawn mendes & camila cabello / xvii. i wish by wjsn / xviii. into you by ariana grande / xix. knock knock by wish / xx. new romantics by taylor swift / xxi. plz don’t be sad by highlight / xxii. when can i see you again by owl city / xxiii. yesterday by block b / xxiv. don’t flirt by winner / xxv. who you by g-dragon / xxvi. red flavour by red velvet / xxvii. the eve by knight / xxviii. one step, two step by oh my girl / xxix. u&i by sunny & henry / xxx. spring again by cao lu & kisum & yerin.

Alternative Titles for the Iliad

1-Hello Naughty Trojans it’s Murder Time

2-100 Times a Therapist was Needed

3-This War Really Wasn’t Worth it

4-Fight Club but it’s just Achilles

5-Patroclus Didn’t Deserve this

6-Things Historians Pretend aren’t Gay

7-Nothing Means Anything we’re all Going to Die

8-Hector Gets his Ass Handed to Him

9-There is no Heterosexual Explanation for This

10-Fuck it up, Achilles

11-Someone is Responsible for this but not Helen