the reality, of course, is that while i talk a good game about how much i appreciate the independence i have, and it’s even true, i much prefer a more entwined existence when given the option; only i have not been given the option, nor will i be. so i content myself.
i cherished C very inordinately in her own right, but i was also very deeply grateful for the intimacy she permitted me; it felt like intimacy not merely with her but with her whole sphere, and rounded out what is otherwise rather a flinching connection—R is not, so far as i have been able to tell, particularly inclined to the sort of regular, mundane checking-in that one carries out without any particular impetus except wanting to understand a person’s day-to-day, because one loves them. and thinking this makes me think more wistfully of C than i have done in a long time, because while i loved her tremendously and missed her terribly and have grown bitter in equal proportion with those feelings, it has been hard to remember her in a real immediate way—but thinking of the things we both wanted from R and couldn’t have, that she had mostly learned better than i not to dwell on but sometimes talked of wistfully to me, i can remember what it was to feel tender towards her and have my heart clench fiercely on her behalf, and i’m glad to remember something about her in a real untainted way for once. i have been too miserably knotted up for too long now.
(and with that, off to the shower with me! or i will really and truly end by being late for lecture, not merely courting lateness.)
okay but that end scene with jyn and cassian was so beautiful like…. both visually/cinematically and story wise like…. it was such a beautiful moment and i can’t Wait for rogue one to come out on dvd or for it to be leaked only for there to be gifs of that scene and The Hug because it was so beautiful and i loved it so much
“How can you say you like intimacy if you don’t like sex”
Hold up. There is SO much intimacy that is non-sexual. Idk whether allosexuals just find everything sexual, or if they’re less experimental with other things because sex is all that matters or w/e, but here are some of my favourite things that are absolutely intimate/sensual but not sexual:
- When someone rests their head on my chest/stomach/shoulder
- Cheek/forehead kisses
- Hugs with back strokes
- Playing with hair
- Holding Hands
- Sharing a bed/napping on each other
- Sharing food
- Some would also argue kissing
- Warming up hands with hands
If you find these things sexual, fine, but they are not inherently sexual by themselves. And if any of y'all allos out there have never done/experienced these then mate it’s you missing out, not us.