is talking about breastfeeding

I’m only 13 weeks but I’ve already got a little bump growing and you can kind of tell I’m preggo, and today at work this sweet little old lady notices and starts talking to me about her pregnancy and giving me advice and things.

She asks me if I’m going to breastfeed and I say that I’m going to try, and she tells me to take a washcloth and rub it over my nipples to help toughen them up because it’s going to hurt a lot. I nod along and she tells me about breastfeeding her son and it’s just a really nice conversation.

Anyway, a man is standing behind her in line and my coworker takes his check and starts cashing it while I’m still talking to the nice lady. The man gives us both mean looks but I ignore him and continue to listen to this sweet woman tell me about how she’s had four children and breastfeeding each one was different but the washcloth trick made it much easier. Finally, the man clears his throat INCREDIBLY loudly and me and the woman turn to look at him.

“I don’t really want to hear about what you’re talking about.” He says and I’m instantly embarrassed. But, without missing a beat the woman reaches out and puts her hand over mine and glares at the man over her glasses.

“Then don’t listen to other people’s conversations.” She says, and it’s so hard not to smile even though the man got really pissed off. Thank you kind little old lady, for the advice and for reminding me that there’s nothing wrong with talking about breastfeeding. It’s nothing to be ashamed of and I need to remember that.

You know, when people talk about desexualizing boobs, a lot of the talk is about breastfeeding. Which is good, because it’s an important discussion! However, that’s… not the only reason? One of the main reasons I can think of is that, like, Kids have boobs?

I started getting mine in elementary school, and my mom got me my first ‘training bra’. I hated it. I wouldn’t wear it! I’d shove it in my dresser or “lose” it all the time. Mom told me I had to wear it so that people wouldn’t stare, and I Knew, even at the time, that I was just a kid that shouldn’t have to deal with this.  I had friends with Really Big boobs in like 5th grade, and they kept getting bigger! Life was Hell for them. They were teased and harassed by adults as well as other students! In elementary AND middle school. I don’t think it’s radical for me to state that adults should not be sexualizing childrens bodies.

This post kind of got away from me, it just gets me fired up thinking about how we kind of. Make kids grow up because their bodies mature faster than their minds.

TLDR; Let’s try and desexualize boobs because Children shouldn’t have to ‘be modest’ when they didn’t choose this in the first place.

What’s Your Way or #ChooseBeautiful: We Still Just Want Your Cash

So Dove are a company selling personal care products for women. You may have heard of them. 

They’ve been in the news recently for a somewhat…err…misjudged ad campaign for Baby Dove in which they talk about breastfeeding in public, and feeding crying babies in general, and somehow this has something to do with soap, I guess?

I guess the idea was supposed to be “YOU GO GIRL, whatever your way is that’s totally fine [buy our stuff]” but it does seem like serious ignorance over how contentious baby feeding is. 

Thanks for reminding new mothers that people see breastfeeding as disgusting and gross, Dove!

Thing is, either:

- they really didn’t think this through, or

- they’re intentionally courting controversy to sell body wash.

And honestly it could be either. Because Dove doesn’t REALLY care about you. It just wants you to buy stuff.

Furthermore, Dove are owned by Unilever, the same corporation which owns, among many other things, Lynx. Which is Axe. Which is…often gross, as well as often smelling not-so-hot.

And so regardless of Dove pitching itself as a lovely fluffy woman-empowering company, it’s still owned by a parent corporation who don’t really ACTUALLY give a crap about that across the board, they just think it’s a good niche that will shift a lot of moisturiser.

Remember: the companies selling you stuff exist to sell you stuff, by whatever means they deem appropriate.

(This does not mean all people or companies selling all things are equally sleazy or unethical, obviously.)

When a big corporation wants you to buy what they’re selling in a physical sense, they can and will spend millions of dollars on advertising that gets you to buy what they’re selling in a philosophical sense first.

Back in April 2015 they released a marketing campaign called #choosebeautiful.

The #choosebeautiful advert went like this: there are two side-by-side doors into a building. More than one building, actually, in various places in the world. One door has a big sign over it that reads ‘beautiful’. One door has a similar sign that says ‘average’. The ad has women walking through whatever door, and also clips of some of them talking about picking a door.

The ad urges women to “choose beautiful”, to think about themselves as beautiful, and blah blah female empowerment etc.

I have a couple of issues with this, you guys.

First that beauty is, in large part, a social and cultural construct which varies depending on time and place. 

While fertility indicators like symmetrical features and a waist-to-hip ratio of such-and-such tend to be popular worldwide, the details of what is attractive or not are hardly a universal constant.

Second, that there are good reasons for the women to choose the ‘average’ door. 

Like they weren’t paying attention. 

Or they don’t want to have their self-confidence destroyed by a prank which calls them ugly. 

(Seriously, if I saw those doors I’d think “there’s a bucket of custard on top of the beautiful one” or similar.)

Not to mention the cultural pressure to be modest and self-deprecating. 

Relevant to this point is an interesting, if depressing, social experiment which was carried out by Claire Boniface (@kingforaking​), and subsequently by Gweneth Bateman and others.

They decided that, instead of not responding to compliments given by random dudes who looked at her online dating profile (because if no response was given they often became hostile) they would respond by agreeing with them.

The results were…painful. Not surprising, but painful nonetheless.

‘If you reject a compliment you’re “attention seeking”, but if you accept it you’re “vain” so you really can’t win either way.’

Choose to believe that you are beautiful!

Declare it to the world!

Have people scream at or insult you because some folks just cannot stand any sign of confidence or overconfidence or pride or whatever!

Third, ‘being beautiful’ is not a human being’s highest calling in life. Nor should it be.

A lot of beauty advertising, and really just advertising in general, sells the message that you are inadequate in some way. That you could be better.

That there is a lack of something in your life, and by buying our product, you will fill that hole in your sad and lonely existence, and everything will be perfect.

Our alcohol will make your party FUN!

Our branded/slogan/whatever T-shirts will make you feel like you BELONG!

Our mascara will make you HOT!

And there are ways to advertise products ethically, obviously, because we do in fact often buy things because we like them and think they are totally nifty, but there’s a lot of this underlying inadequacy anxiety in advertising.

Beauty advertising sells the message that being beautiful is really, really, REALLY important, woman! It’s the most important thing in your whole life! If you do not believe that you are beautiful (preferably gaining that belief because you are using our products) then all is WOE AND ASHES!

Dove are trying to sell you the idea that by choosing to believe that you are beautiful, you will be, and everything will be cool and fantastic and full of unicorns.

(Pictured: Your life.)

And that’s…OK, I guess. Self-confidence is cool. Believing that you are attractive and worthy of love is also cool.

But underlying this message is that YOUR ATTRACTIVENESS, whether it’s self- or other-validated, is TEH MOST IMPORTANT THING EVER!!!1eleven!

Look, I appreciate the idea that you should love your body. It carries your brain around the place and has the most amazing abilities to do stuff. Your body is YOU in a very literal sense.

But while encouraging individual self-confidence is awesome, I am a bit suspicious of anyone who’s doing it while selling you moisturiser. 

Your motives are not questionable, Dove, they are right out there in the open.

Plus, hey, you know, personal external attractiveness is not our highest calling in life.

Let’s do that one again.

Personal external attractiveness is not our highest calling in life, and anything that suggests it is makes me ragey.

The human body is amazing and kind of freaky, you guys.

But goodness, if our highest calling is to be beautiful and attractive at all times, then we are all screwed. People who are getting older (everyone) are screwed, pregnant and nursing mothers are screwed (because BODY FAT OH NOES), everyone is screwed.

Sod. That.

Choose to believe that you are beautiful, if you like. 

Or choose to believe that it doesn’t matter.

Or choose to believe something else entirely on the subject, but whichever you go for, please, choose to believe that you worth is defined by factors much more important than:

a) your conventional attractiveness quotient

b) your belief in your own beauty.

Yes, self-confidence is good to have. But ultimately, the belief that you ARE awesome (for whatever reason) is much more important than the belief that you LOOK awesome.

Beauty fades. Accomplishments remain. Character remains. Impact on the world remains.

No matter the size of your waist, the smoothness of your skin, or the products you use to bathe your new baby.

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(via Adam Ruins Everything - Why Baby Formula Isn’t Poison | truTV - YouTube)

I love it when Adam steps aside and with great support, let the women do the talking about women issues.

A    T O U G H    R O A D    A H E A D    -    L I F E    U P D A T E


It’s been two weeks since my last post. If you would tell me that everything will change just like that I wouldn’t believe you. Yet here we are.

The day after my last post our landlord gave us a call that he wants to meet with us as soon as possible. We were sure that he will raise the rent again which we weren’t too happy about. Me and Steph started to talk about how annoying it was to live in this house. Of course it was in perfect spot, perfect size but somehow it never was truly perfect. We finally meet up with him and to our surprise he wanted to see us just to complain about us. About the fact that we got dog (which we first asked him if it’s okay with him and he was fine with that) and that we also have another kid (what even?). He basically suggested us that he wants us out of the house. Our lease agreement was coming to the end too so we don’t have a choice but find a new home. We had a month.

You can just imagine all the tears and anger that come out of us as we are not in a position to move right now. All the stress create some problems with breastfeeding but I will talk about it in another post. It was so upsetting to us. We were supposed to enjoy our first weeks with little one not go through all of this.

Two days later my husband got opportunity of getting moved to Saint Greer Islands. It’s amazing job offer and everything he could wanted for his job. But I couldn’t imagine living so far away from our families. Then one night while feeding Fran I had this realization. Fran, Flo and Steph are my everything. Living here didn’t make us happy. And here we had a chance to change it and I was so ready to throw it away. So I woke him up and simply said “let’s do it”. 

During this two weeks that we have been away Steph traveled all the way to Saint Greer where he checked out all the houses we were interesting in. It also turns out that with all our savings and little help from family we are actually able to buy a house instead of renting which is basically our dream. 

Right now we are packing our life. It feels crazy to leave this house. It was our home. And somehow everyday it stops feeling like home. 

We are ready for this new chapter. It won’t be easy, but change is good. 

Till next time, Laurel

Road Trip - Ashton Irwin

You were sat in the passenger seat watching as your husband drove down the busy roads out of the city.

He put on the radio, music blasting loud despite your three children sleeping in the back of the car.

You, Ashton and your three girls were going camping for the weekend whilst he had time off from the band.

As a family you had always stayed at expensive hotels so you wanted to try something different whilst you could and you both decided that camping would be fun for all of you.

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Post Partum Identity Crisis
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Doesn’t that sound dramatic? Post partum identity crisis. 

That’s how I felt for the first six months of being a new mom. The contents of my life were throw into a can, shaken up and unceremoniously dumped onto the sidewalk. I did not feel like me.

Things are great now and hindsight is 20/20, so I feel like I’m able to look back through a clear lens and process everything that happened. I’m on the other side now, the bright side, and I’ve never been happier or more fulfilled or joyous in my life. But at the beginning, my world was turned upside down. 

It wasn’t about my baby either. He’s healthy and happy and I really enjoy the time I spend with him. I love this kiddo!  But when he was first born and the duties were thankless, it was really freaking hard. And when I say hard, I don’t mean hard like before you have a kid. I’ve been told things were going to be hard my whole life. This was not the same. Raising a newborn kicked me flat on my ass and temporarily losing my sense of self was one of the worst parts.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

srsly tho, can we talk about that frank/claire breastfeeding scene!?! ! what the hell? why was that necessary? some weird symbolism?? all in all i love voyager its my favorite book of the series but diana did make some questionable decisions that weren't so great

Not only it was completely unnecessary but it was offensive. It was something Jamie wanted to do in Dragonfly in Amber and the fact that Frank did it while Claire was pregnant with his child was an insult to Jamie’s memory. Who knows, maybe Diana wanted us to realize that Claire wasn’t herself anymore but there were other ways to do it. 

this week on My Dash is Full of Bad Discourse:

claiming terfs are exposing minors to porn by having icons that are vulvas or uteruses. unable to explain how uteruses are pornographic, nor able to explain how a vulva outside any context is not simply just anatomy, especially if it’s drawn. also, consistent use of the word vagina instead of the word they mean, which is vulva. everyone ignores my great joke that my icon is a picture of my pussy, which it is. I get an anon that tells me my icon creeps them out, but I think it’s unrelated.

someone makes a post that says terfs aren’t against ddlg, but delete it when two million people reblog it with “?” attached 

I read yet again that there aren’t two sexes because intersex people exists.  

coming up next week Probably:

someone saying breastfeeding a baby with your super sexy boobs is just like jacking it in public once again, cause that hasn’t been around in awhile. maybe with added discourse of  talking about breastfeeding on tumblr is exposing minors to porn, which would be a fun twist

I get called a terf for getting about 100 likes on drunk shitpost that says “your dad sucks, not even his satisfactory grilling saves him”

Wife and Child PT.5

This one’s really cute, just a warning. I’m really excited about this one. Last Chapter, Ao3

“Gail, wanna talk about what’s been on your mind lately?” Holly soothingly asked as she ran her fingers through the blondes hair.

It’d been a week since they laid everything out and Holly gave Gail the choice to stay or leave. She still had yet to get an answer but Gail had changed, she’d seemed more at ease, and had gotten more affectionate. Gail had begun to shyly kiss her cheek randomly, play with her hair when she laid in her lap, and she’d caught the blonde more times than once checking her out. It was really nice to have those small things again, whether or not Gail did it with years of familiarity or brand new curiosity, it was her Gail none the less. Nine months was far too long to not have her wife’s touch, her wanting, loving blue gaze on her, so Holly wasn’t going to complain. Instead she was going to bask in it. She was going to soak in every moment while she had it, for she didn’t know if it was going to be taken away from her again.

“Nothing. Why do you ask?” Gail wondered around the string in her mouth.

“You’re eating your hoodie string, and you’ve been sleeping with the blanket in your mouth. Which means you’re upset.” She continued to play with the dark blonde strands of her wife’s hair, trying to pry as little as possible. She didn’t want to set Gail off, make her run and hide like she used to do. “Is. Is it about last week?”

True Holly understood that she couldn’t expect Gail to stay because of some ring around her neck, some words she didn’t remember saying, but it hurt to give her that option. To open the door and tell her wife that if she didn’t chose her than she’d have to leave. It killed her. Especially that Gail seemed to be standing in the doorway, watching in the house and playing along, almost like she was getting a taste of their life before she ultimately took that step out the door and out of their cozy home.

Gail immediately shook her head in protest. “No.”

“Then what is it? Maybe I can help.”

Keep reading

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AJ Cook on the Doctors June 8th, 2016

It’s a clip from her last appearance that they saved for this episode. She talked about breastfeeding and wanted to know whether or not it was okay to drink alcohol and/or coffee 

calidotheprophet  asked:

Hi, I feel superconflicted, cause like, on one hand, I get the whole free the nipple thing, cause it helps stop the slutshaming which is super good, but on the other hand I don't want to see anyone's nipple, or ass, or genitals, cause I'm prude and asexual, so everytime I do see either of them I kinda look away or scroll past it and I don't know, maybe that's internalized misogony, and I don't mean it like that, but I'm thinking what if it is, and I should just look at it anyway

A few thoughts:

Nipples shouldn’t be compared to genitals. Seeing a flash of someone’s nipple while breastfeeding, for instance, is not at all like seeing someone without their underwear on. 

You’re not a prude for not wanting to see someone’s naked or partially naked body. Everyone has the right to decide for themselves what they’re comfortable with at any given time. 

That said, it would be rude to ask a parent breastfeeding their child to stop just because you’re uncomfortable with how their baby is fed. There is nothing sexual about breastfeeding an infant, and if someone views it that way it’s because of what they are bringing to the situation, not the situation itself. 

When we’re not talking about breastfeeding, but rather freeing the nipple in order to break down sexist stereotypes about typically female bodies and the sexualization of typically female bodies, our discomfort may partially be internalized misogyny. The voice that tells us that women are sluts for baring their chests the way that men do and that being topless is an inherently sexual act. I think it’s important to address and modify that way of thinking, and seeing non-sexual images of breasts of people of all genders is one way of doing that, but it’s not the only way. 

Don’t feel like you have to or that you should look at images that make you uncomfortable. Try to analyse why you feel that way, but don’t feel bad for being uncomfortable with nudity. 

4
So how do communities with limited electricity and running water in Ethiopia reduce infant mortality and dramatically improve newborn and maternal health?  With a system designed by Ethiopians for Ethiopia, and a lot of amazingly dedicated health extension workers and volunteers. (The tier system is explained in the first picture.) I’m obviously no expert, but from what I could tell the nonprofit funding worked precisely because it was helping people execute their vision, rather than trying to impose a strategy upon them.

Today, I visited a health center and then a health outpost, a small structure with no electricity serving a community of around 5,000. The Outpost (picture two) was staffed by two women who can do everything from treat malaria to deliver babies. They have a detailed and systematic approach (those files in picture three contain information about every family in their area), but they rely on the volunteer Women’s Health Care Army to provide education, prenatal care, and family planning assistance, among many other things, to every family in the area. It was fascinating to start my journey at a facility that can do Caesarean sections and then follow the health care system into individual residences, where a woman can talk directly to someone she trusts about prenatal vitamins, contraception, and breastfeeding. 

The health challenges here in Ethiopia are massive, obviously, but these volunteers are a big part of the reason that Ethiopia’s infant and maternal mortality rates are dropping so dramatically.

You’ll meet several of them in a forthcoming video, but I just wanted to share the amazingness of today’s experience.

anonymous asked:

Do you happen to know the fic where Stiles is an omega and Derek is an Alpha, and Stiles is babysitting a family's friend infant and Derek like keeps thing he's breastfeeding the baby? I'm sorry my summery suck but please help me I'm craving this fic so bad. Ps. I'm absolutely in love with your writing as well!

  • #omegaproblems by subnivean (E, 13k) Stiles didn’t need an alpha. He might want one, though.
Decisions || Luke || Pt 1/?

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Word Count: 1,869
Rated:
PG

Summary: After you shut him down when talking about trying for a baby six months prior, Luke hasn’t bothered you about the subject anymore. But now, after watching him play around with his baby niece, you might’ve changed your mind…

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anonymous asked:

Thoughts on breastfeeding

What exactly do you want me to talk about haha like it’s how you feed infants and the literal purpose of breasts