The Signs as Grandmas
Aries: The grandma that your mom always tells you stories about your grandma beating her but she’s really nice now.
Taurus: The grandma that’s ALWAYS baking. Will make fun of you when you eat ten cookies.
Gemini: The grandma that tells stories from her childhood. Most are lies, but some are true.
Cancer: The grandma that is in a nursing home with dementia and smells like pee but is super sweet and always knits you ugly sweaters and kisses your cheek.
Leo: The rich high tech grandma that buys Christmas presents on Amazon and owns an iPhone 7 even though she always complains about how big it is. Has really bad fashion taste but buys expensive perfume.
Virgo: The Mexican grandma that only wears flip-flops and tank tops. She probably thought you cursive and how to spell.
Libra: The grandma that talks shit and starts drama when she drinks too much.
Sagittarius: The grandma that is obsessed with exercising but still eats junk food constantly.
Scorpio: The grandma that always makes sex jokes. The kids love her and the parents are probably scared to leave the kids alone with her.
Capricorn: Smoker voice. Knows how to manage her money. Gets stressed when there’s too many kids.
Aquarius: Very caring. Probably on the verge of a heart attack. Makes sure you always leave with food. In and out of the hospital. Always keeps on your favorite tv shows on her box tv.
Pisces: Was a hippie and definitely had a drug problem. Still smokes weed and says “Dope.” Probably killed her husband. Doesn’t like to talk about her past. Probably still on a bad LSD trip from the 70’s.