I walk into my bedroom and find my Fire tablet open to the first page of theWarrior Cats book. I wondered if she used her familiar powers to broker a deal wherein I feel obligated to read her a story…..
imma little irked that the breeder I contacted three times last year about getting a puppy from, who other people also contacted for me, who literally never acknowledged my existence in any way, shape, or form,
somehow managed to communicate with and ship a puppy to someone across an entire ocean 🙄🙄🙄
what petty things are y'all a little upset about today?
I’m not posting on YouTube until tomorrow (it’s motivational and I’ll be posting it as part of my Mindful Monday series), but because you guys are awesome, I’m gonna give it to you a day early! ^-^ the video quality will be better tomorrow as I had to make it smaller to post here :P
I hope the song lives up to expectation xD
Now let me show you the lyrics which have the subtle Jack references, in case you missed any of them :P
You can make it all the way - I think this one is obvious (ALL THE WAY!!!)
No matter what the voices might say - Anti?? :P
It is gonna be okay, maybe not now but another day - a play on Jack’s quote of everything is gonna be alright, maybe not now but eventually
I believe in you - Jack says this to us! Although, this is more than just a reference, I do mean it too ^-^
The victory is yours to claim - victory? As in victory town? *nudging you* ya get it? XD
The grass is really greener on the other side - Green? And which YouTuber has green hair? That’s right, Jackaboy! :D
1. What do we learn from the first minute or so of this show? Some things that remain true throughout, and others that we seemed to forget. A. That the woman with the bullhorn is TOUGH on those kids. That Mr. Shue is oblivious, and a bad Spanish teacher, and clearly plays favorites. B. That the gay kid, Kurt, is fierce and isn’t a victim, even as he’s being tossed into Dumpsters. That the football players and cheerleaders are at the top of the high school pyramid, although an attentive eye would note that the blonde at the top of the pyramid falls off immediately. That the tall kid wants to be liked and is conflicted about his role in this world. C. That Earth Wind and Fire is transcendent, but what year is this? And that Will–Mr. Shue–is living in a dream world.
2. Will and Terri’s marriage: Yikes! I’ve talked about this before, and will again, but these two are so unhappily yoked.
The first thing we learn about this marriage is that Will plans to hide the $60 a month Figgins is extorting from him. Later we learn that she is hiding her spending habits from him as well.
They just seem to have such different value systems. (And may I just say that Jessalyn Gilsig is a hoot. She delivers Terri’s awful lines with intensity that matches Lea Michele’s Rachel.) But man, is Terri a bully.
When they’re having their date night building an American Gothic puzzle, Will says, “You usually don’t let me into the craft room.He is not her equal in this marriage.
One of the first things Emma learns about Will is that he doesn’t eat nuts because Terri is allergic. She hears, “I respect my wife’s needs and sacrifice for her happiness.” But what he’s saying is, “She won’t let me.”
Finally, they both are using the pregnancy as an excuse to NOT fix the marriage and, in the case of Will, to deal with Emma honestly. That becomes more and more true later, but i was true from the start.
3. Finn’s true love is music.
That’s the story he tells us, with his flashback. I love Darren the Lawn Guy, and so does Finn. Though it’s a complicated memory, because Carole was hurt by it, to Finn that time was magic because it’s when he discovered music.
As Eric watched you storm away from him yet again, the realisation that he might have truly lost you hit him hard. So hard that he leaned against your car before punching it in anger. How could he have been so stupid?! He’d had everything he’d ever wanted yet he still chose to chase Brandi.
Over and over in his mind he’d thought about all the special things you did for him. Like when he’d told you that he didn’t like you wearing those clothes because other guys would stare at you, you’d happily stopped wearing them to school. When his family were riding his ass for this or that you’d always been there to comfort him, make him feel worthwhile and like a king. They way you would kiss him when the jocks gave him a hard time just to shut them up.
He ran his fingers through his hair as he watched your bag disappear through the schools doors. He couldn’t lose you! But he also knew just how much you fucking hated him right now. Hell he was half surprised you hadn’t run him over. With his head low he headed back inside, word was you’d gotten an internal suspension so he couldn’t exactly try to get you to talk to him at school for the rest of the week. But it also gave him a whole week to try and figure out how’s he was going to get you back. Hopefully…
Eric headed to his 4th hour, and just his fucking luck. It was history with both Dylan and Brandi in that class. As he entered Dylan simply glared at him. He avoided his gaze and took the seat next to him. Dylan was mad as shit at him. And he was pretty sure the only reason he hadn’t kicked his ass was because you’d told him not to.
“How is she dyl?” “….how the fuck do you think man?!” “Mad as hell. I just tried to talk to her again.” “And?” “She basically told me to go fuck myself or Brandi” “Why she’s STILL being civil to you is anyone’s guess REB…”
Eric cringed as Brandi turned in her seat and winked at him. Dylan visibly tensed as he watched her too. Slamming his book open and muttering under his breath. Eric swallowed hard, as Brandi turned back around he tried to remember why he’d cheated in the first place. Sure he was drunk as shit the 1st time that alone wasn’t an excuse, but he just kept going back. Was it the thrill? Was it the mentality of being superior and that he was entitled to stick his dick elsewhere? Or was it his own toxicity of destroying anything and everything positive in his life. Constantly trying to trap him a endless cycle of self hatred and violent fantasies.
Once class was over he decided he’d had enough. He quickly dumped his unneeded textbooks and headed for home. Just as he was passing the west entrance he felt his arm being tugged. Pulling him off to the side. A pair of glossed lips smashed against his and hands roamed under his shirt, tugging at his belt.
“I need you baby, let’s go under the bleachers. I know it’s your favourite spot” “No…” “Excuse me?” “Get off me Brandi! I told you not to try that shit anymore!” “But you and that dyke split up! I thought we could finally be together now!” “Don’t fucking call her that ever again! Your delusional if you think I’d ever want to be with you Brandi! I love y/n! And only her! You were…” “Just what?! How can you say that! I love you! I thought you loved me too?!” “You were just to see if the grass was really greener on the other side but guess what? It ain’t, it’s a festering pile if shit on the other side!”
Eric held his stinging cheek as Brandi loudly burst into tears after slapping him. She screamed that he was a liar, and how could he have done this to her? That she loved him. Eric felt his face burning as people stopped at stared at the scene she was making. He tried to shush her but it only made her cry even louder. He groaned in anger before pushing through the crowds of people and headed for his car.
Could this day get any worse? He thought to himself as he sat in his car. He sat in silence, the pain in his chest was intensifying more and more each day. He knew though he deserved so much more pain though. He missed your touch, he missed hearing you say his name as you smiled at him. Always so fucking happy to see him no matter what. He quickly wiped away the stray tears that fell from his eyes, as he headed for his home and his cold, dark, lonely room. Hugging tightly at one of your shirts you’d left behind. Inhaling your scent as his world began to crumble around him.
2 WEEKS LATER
You stretched out kicking Dylan’s feet in the process. Old Mr conquest was droning on about some calculus problem. Dylan grinned and kicked your feet back making you sway in your seat.
“Shit!!” “Ms. y/l/n do you mind?!” “Sorry sir…my chair slipped”
The teacher muttered and went back to the lesson, you mouthed ‘you dead’ to Dylan and in return he blew a kiss at you. It had been two weeks since you’d split with Eric. And it still hurt every time you saw him. The day after him finding you in your car, Brandi tried to pick a fight with you after school. It took both Dylan and Brooks to pull you off her, leaving her a bloody mess in the schools lot. That earned you another suspension but out of school that time.
When you’d returned it seemed like every fucking jock was making it their mission to either irritate you or to try and get into your pants. Once or while when you knew Eric was watching you’d flirted back with some of them. Knowing he’d seen because you would always hear a loud bang of him punching something nearby. He still tried to talk to you at every opportunity, but you simply either walked away for told him to fuck up and fuck off. You missed him so much though. His voice, his dark humour, his cheeky nature.
A few times you’d been tempted to take him back. To ease the constant sharp pain in your chest. It was like your very soul was burning without him. Each time though a vision of him with Brandi entered your mind, them groaning and moaning together in his bed and as you unhappily found out in the freaking school too. That pain was quickly replaced with confusion and rage. But…Something else was toying with your mind too. You’d put it down to stress and lack of sleep though.
Nether the less you wanted to be sure. You’d never felt so scared in your entire life as you bought it. The minutes felt like hours before your began to sob for a new reason. Two lines had just confirmed your worst fear. You were pregnant…..Fucking pregnant with Eric’s baby.
Sitting on the bench in
Central Park you felt like your entire body was on fire. Shrugging off your jacket you sat there with
your face in your hands. All your plans
had just disappeared. You had just
broken Pietro’s heart, and for what? Was
the grass really greener? Should you
have just married him instead of chasing this ridiculous fantasy? Taking a deep breath you stood up and made
your way back to the hotel. A bath and a
good nights sleep was in order and then you would just fly home tomorrow. This whole trip had been a disaster from
start to finish. You needed to give this
an unknown kid left their scooter on the sidewalk in front of our house over a week ago, and we’ve left it there, thinking the owner would surely come back and reclaim it, but so far no one has come to get it at all. we’ve asked all our neighbors if they know who it belongs to, but no one does. it’s been well over a week. so anyway now i’m wrestling with the moral dilemma of, how long do i leave it sitting out there before it’s no longer considered stealing if i just let my nephews keep it.
I think something dies every time a relationship ends.
So we are all surrounded by dead things
I don’t believe that love ends.
It just moves.
Sometimes to a place we can never get to again.
I used to think I was born in the wrong century.
But as a black woman, any century including this one would not have great romantic prospects for me.
Still, the grass really is greener on the other side.
From here anyway.
I do not actually believe in romance.
It feels like the fairy tales we tell our children to help them sleep.
To make them feel safe.
But candles are just candles.
Flowers just flowers.
Chivalry dead, or offensive, it’s up to you.
I am not now, nor will I ever be, the most desired.
I am either learning that, convincing myself of it, both or neither.
It doesn’t really matter when you’re lying in your bed for the 2,150,245th time staring at the ceiling, completely by yourself.
Loneliness is a concept and that’s no comfort.
Everything is a concept.
We have conceptualised everything.
Language and sound and sight and even love.
If I reject the concept then does it no longer exist?
There is no lonely
There is no love
There is no me
There is no you
Whoever you are.
I believe that if I check my phone enough, eventually that special someone who does not exist
Will call/ text/ email/ send me an emoji
To solve all my problems.
I am not as complex as everyone who views my online dating profile and then moves on, thinks I am.
I hope these words move someone.
The people who know what it’s like to love and be loved.
The people who vehemently disagree with me.
The people who don’t know how lucky they are.
But especially the people that do.