is really cutting into my tumblr time

This is for anyone who can’t really relate to Mother’s Day sentiments due to cutting themselves off from toxic parents. Eternal hugs to all of you. I personally haven’t spoken to my mom in over 4 years so it’s always kinda white noise for me when this time comes around. Always remember your feelings are VALID.

“But she’s your MOM.” has to be one of the most insensitive, ignorant, pious fucking statements I’ve ever heard too many times in my life. I can’t stand people who say that to me.

It’s really so generalizing and damaging when people say things like “But they’re you’re family…” as though that mandates that you to continue to enable someone to treat you horribly. IT’S NOT OK.

For those of you who are still dealing with toxic family members, even more hugs to you. It’s a difficult path and we all have our own journey. I wish you strength and peace. You’ll get there.

Much love.

Feelings

So I’ve been looking through the ACOWAR tag because I needed to fill the void somehow… and I’m actually quite disappointed. 

I made a Tumblr account for the sole purpose of being able to interact with other people who loved the books as much as I did, I made it so I could come on here and enjoy the fanfics, the artwork and all the good things people have done/made. And now, I sit here and every other post I see is criticising SJM’s books or criticising her characters and the choices that she made in both of her series, and it makes me really sad? 

I know that she isn’t perfect, and I know that her books aren’t perfect either, and sure, there are bits that I would’ve changed or done differently, but at the end of the day they aren’t my books, but I’d much rather focus on the good bits than the bad. 

Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but I’ve found since the release of Empire of Storms that everyone has become so negative about her books, and this is not what I came on Tumblr to see… I feel like we should also be cutting her some slack, she’s been really ill and she’s writing two series at the same time, as well as writing the Catwoman novel, so of course it won’t be perfect. Sarah can’t satisfy everyone’s wishes, and of course there will be some disappointment but honestly this whole fandom is turning into a really toxic place to be; and I really don’t like it. 

Therefore, I probably won’t be as active anymore, I’ll still reblog stuff and make an appearance every now and then, but all the negativity is making it difficult to enjoy coming on here.

Man Face Monday - Good Golly He’s Yummy Edition

Hello Scrumptious! I hope that you have had a lovely Monday, or whatever day it is where you happen to be Tumbling. Aren’t we just vibrating with excitement over this week’s episode? 

Yes, we are. So distractions are in order. I offer you some delightful face to keep you occupied. 

He’s just so perfect. 

Yummy profile-y action. 

Oh my. 

Fangirl down!

A bit different. I kind of like it. 

Very concerned face. 

Non-black and white pretty. 

There we go. I hope that this face break has left you with happy feelings! You deserve all the pretty, my friend. All the pretty. Until next time…

Tags after the cut. Apologies if tags don’t make it to you this week. Tumblr is being really weird to me today. 

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Inspired by a voice dub by @pmseymourva

I’m sure this has been done a millions times before, but I wanted to do my own take on it.

Also, for some odd reason, I decided to risk it and ink/color this because I really liked how the sketch turned out. I’m about 93% proud of the result XD

mystery skulls gang: @mysterybensmysteryblog

Bonus Sketch Under Cut: 

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detailed blogrates ✨ CLOSED

i have a surprise day off today!! i’ve hardly moved all day and it’s been wonderful 💕 i only have tomorrow at work before a three day weekend for easter! so, i thought i would celebrate finally having some time to be on tumblr with some detailed blogrates since i’ve been so absent and ily all 💕

  • must be following me!
  • maybe check out some of my edits?
  • must reblog this post (likes don’t count sorry!)
  • send me a 🐝 (or just ‘br’) and tell me your fave hp character!
  • format under the cut (thank you @njmphadora for letting me pinch it!!) - blacklist maliasbr or br!

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The Season Finale/Bye, Boys

I know I’m late - I had to work all day yesterday and today, and when I first got those jobs I’d anticipated I’d be frustrated about missing the finale live, but, well - after last week’s episode, I mostly wasn’t interested at all. When I sat down tonight to watch it, I almost didn’t want to. I was highkey convinced I wouldn’t like it, and, yeah, I didn’t. Not particularly. I’ve suspected for a while that Supernatural lost its grandeur and sense of tragedy years ago, and all that’s left is a bunch of occasionally magnificent, but mostly unconnected, monster hunts - that they’re grasping at straws to avoid going down paths that would actually make sense because they don’t want to go there - and this finale confirmed all that with the subtlety of a badly driven tank. 

(Really - I was hoping things would be different, but they’re not. As much as this show held my hand and made me laugh and cry in difficult moments and distracted me when real life was plain unbearable, the magic is no longer there. I watched the finale with that same awful weight in your stomach you feel when faced with that one person you no longer love - when you look and look and you don’t understand how you could ever love them in the first place, and then your eye catches something - they way their mouth curves into a smile, perhaps, or the once beloved lilt in their voice, and you realize that oh, that’s how

But still, it’s over.)

So, what happens next?

The honest answer is, I don’t know. I’ve been mostly off tumblr for a week, and while I missed chatting and talking with you guys, this self-imposed break really brought home just how my world has shrunk. I tend to be very intense in what I like, and over the last year, 90% of my free time has been Supernatural. Writing stories, writing metas, creating the odd graphic, reblogging other people’s posts and ooohing and aaaawing at their creations and insight - that was great, but it also cut my mental landscape into a tiny little postcard. And this past week - I did things. I discovered new stuff, I read real books, I faffed around weird Wikipedia pages, I lost myself in other series, I planted beans and basil and edible flowers. And I liked it - a lot. So whatever I do next, I’ll be on tumblr a lot less, because - I’m sorry - I’ve been fearing for a while that Supernatural simply wasn’t worth this level of devotion, and this finale pretty much confirmed that. So - really - I’ll keep reblogging gifs and I’ll probably write the occasional headcanon and feel free to ask me things and come talk to me and everything else, but please know that I’m not that positive about this show anymore, so if you want rainbows and ponies, my blog’s probably not the best place to get them. I’ll definitely keep writing, and I hope I’ve got enough love left in me to finish my DCBB, but other than that - I think I’m done. It’s likely I’ll watch the show next year, but I’ll certainly not anticipate new episodes and squeal at the screen and bleed my own blood all over it or anything. And maybe this will hurt at some point - God, I loved this show so goddamn much - but for now I’m just numb. 

So, here goes - quite possibly, my last meta. 


Cas: Yes, They Went There

This is what we’re all wondering, isn’t it? Is Cas really dead? 

No, he isn’t. If Misha was leaving the show, we’d know about it. Like, of course they’d keep it under wraps until the last episode, but it’d be out today - no reason it wouldn’t. Plus, from a narrative point of view, Cas’ death doesn’t make any sense. He just died after fucking up - again - and he never got to make his Big Choice between Heaven and *coughs* humanity, plus they’re having so much fun jerking us around with that yeah so maybe he and Dean they’re in love thing, why would they stop now? So, honestly, his ‘death’ was his only good moment during this season finale. Like, he obviously wasn’t brainwashed brainwashed, so it didn’t make any sense he wouldn’t involve Sam and Dean in his overly simplistic scheme, plus he’s been acting stupid and out of character the whole time he was on screen - and, I get Cas is hard to write, but come on. Renting a cabin under the name James Novak when he can hypnotize it out of some guy without leaving a paper trace? Reading books and taking online classes about childbirth? This from a guy who’s not a guy at all and has instinctive knowledge of physics and whatever and knows perfectly well that thing inside Kelly isn’t a human child, anyway, so he might as well take woodworking classes for all the good that would do him? Uh. Not to mention his random snooping into alternate dimensions he knew nothing about when he was supposed to be taking care of Kelly - if AU!Bobby had killed him, or if he’d fallen into a pit or whatever else, Kelly would have remained alone in that cabin basically waiting for Lucifer to find her. Honestly - why do they bother writing Cas at all if they can’t get him right?

Destiel: Still Subtext

And more bad news: five seasons of queerbaiting - and counting. This season finale had to be the one with the least amount of UST or pining or any kind of fuckery between them since, I don’t know, ever? Sure, there were moments, and I could list them, but why should I? Look at Cas doing his own thing, and what does it matter if he was staring at the water (possibly thinking about that fish which started everything, and by everything I mean Cas’ love for humanity, and by humanity I mean Dean), and what does it matter if Dean, as usual, is the one fretting about Cas and worrying about Cas and being all undignified and unmanly? It’s been years, and Dean was unusually chatty during the whole finale, so I’m sure some of us were like, ALERT ALERT THIS IS WHEN IT HAPPENS (not me, because I’m grumpy and disillusioned), and nope, not the time. Better luck next season, guys.

Honestly, at this point there are no good options. 

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THANKS FOR 1 AWESOME YEAR ON TUMBLR!!!

I can’t thank you all so much for making my experience on Tumblr a great one. As a thank you, (and because I’m at 516 followers) here’s a massive appreciation post for all the people on here who have made this place extra-special for me.

Each of the people on this list has somehow made my day (and my dash) super awesome and made my experience on tumblr extra-special. Even if you don’t really know me all that well, or at all, know you’re here for a reason! THANK YOU ALL! (I even tried to do proper grammar for @dagurdewhite)

Remember that this list is not in order and I may have forgotten some people (I hope not haha) so bear with me here. 

Also, not everyone got a big long-ass description because I didn’t have time to write for everyone. 

Oh boy this is long so, list under the cut!

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I just reached 2k which is, let’s be honest, so fucken unbelievable i’m probably hallucinating it lmao. Anyway, I also thought it’s time I finally made a follow forever. I would just like to thank all my followers for following this finnish weirdo and being your awesome selves ヾ(^-^)ノ 

Mutuals are not marked bc i was too lazy to do that but i want all of my mutuals to know that i rly appreciate you cute beans (bc lbr, you’re all so!! cute) (◔◡◔✿) also i’m really sorry these aren’t in alphabetical order bc tumblr sucks ass. 

list is under the cut bc it’s so freaking long

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TUMBLR DOODLES: THE RAVEN
(JUST TRYIN’ OUT THE NEW DOODLE FUNCTION WITH THE MOBILE APP.)


UPDATE FEB. 18TH:
TUMBLR DOODLE IS GONE. TOO BAD.
THE RAVEN WAS A TRY-OUT, I COULD NOT REALLY FINISH IT,
THE WAY I WANTED IT TO BE
AND THERE ARE SOME MISTAKES IN THE PIC.
(LIKE THE UNINTENDED BROWN SPOT AT THE RAVEN’S BELLY,
OR THE CUT-UP FEET, BECAUSE I COULD NOT SEE THE BOTTOM OF
THE PICTURE.)
THE WHOLE THING TOOK ME LESS THAN A MINUTE.
SOMEHOW I POSTED IT BY MISTAKE,
BECAUSE I WAS STILL IN STRUGGLE WITH THE NEW FUNCTION.
FIRST I WAS ANGRY, THEN I LIKED THE WAY IT CAME OUT.
NONE OF MY TUMBLR ART POSTS ARE PERFECT.
EVERYTHING IS DONE IN A RUSH, RIGHT FROM THE SPOT,
WHEN I HAVE AN IDEA AND THERE IS SOME TIME FOR CREATIVITY.
LET’S HOPE THEY BRING THE FUNCTION BACK, IT WAS KIND COOL.

Novaexpress93

Author Self Fic Rec

This was one of the hardest things ever! Two of my favorite people, @suddenclarityharry and @dimpled-halo tagged me to talk about my five favorite fics that I have written so far! And it’s really difficult when I have so many, but oh boy… Here goes. 

5. Monday Meetings. This was my very first fic in the fandom, so it holds a lot of special memories for me. It was the first thing I started writing only a few weeks after I started reading fan fiction and also the first story I’ve ever completed. I have a lot of original things on my computer, but nothing ever came of those. MM was actually finished and I got a lot of wonderful comments on it, even though I really had no idea what I was doing, lol. This (plus the sequel, Wednesday Edits) are the only fics that I have in a series right now, but hopefully that changes one day!

4. I Can’t Say Goodbye (Are There Windows in Heaven?). Definitely one of my lesser known fics. This was written at a time when I was just really struggling with a lot of emotional issues and was just really critical of religion and God and everything (not that I was a super believe before, but, you know… I was worse at this stage of life). So it was helpful for me to have a way to channel that emotion into something productive. And I got a few comments saying that my fic was helpful to other people, so that makes it even better. 

3. Like to Keep You Laughing. My first ace fic! I loved writing this fic, because it required a lot of research into asexuality and aromanticism. This is also one of my few fics that doesn’t have any actual smut, and it took until writing this to realize that people actually do read your fics if they don’t have smut, but are written well (up until then I had seen otherwise). I’m just so proud of this fic because I’ve received so many comments on it from people on the ace/aro spectrum saying how accurate it was and how the fic perfectly described their own emotions. And that really meant a lot. I also just love the characters in this fic and would love to return to this verse one day. 

2. Bye Bye’s Are Not For Legends (I’m Forever Young). Another of my lesser known fics, this was a first for a lot of reasons - first superhero fic, first supernatural fic, first chaptered fic I’d ever written all at once, first fic with fight scenes, first fic with another spoken language in it… and a few others that i can’t think of right now. This fic was so much fun to write, and I got to be really creative with it. I got to read all about the four horsemen of the apocalypse and figure out who in OT4 would be each, which was surprisingly easy. I got to research other countries and different landmarks there, and the history of certain countries. Of course, my obsessive nature took over and I overanalyzed a lot, but it came out so well and I’m so proud of it! 

1. Branching Out. I always say this fic is my favorite, but I really do think it’s the one that I go back and reread the most. I don’t read the whole fic over again, because that would take me forever, but just certain scenes and chapters of it. It’s probably the most original fic I’ve ever written and definitely the most complicated. It was the first fic I wrote that included flashbacks, and that’s something that I still use in fics today. It has all kinds of drama, and it’s one of the only fics I’ve written where you really need to read the tags. And there was a lot of controversy surrounding it, but I’m over it now. It’s been two years since I finished it, believe it or not. And I still love it. 

Honorable mention definitely goes to my most popular fic, the lube fic, A Match Made in Aisle Three (Everybody Cut Footloose). This was probably the first time that one of my fics was really recced on Tumblr. MM had some success on different pages, but Aisle Three really sort of took over a lot of blogs at the same time, and I was not used to that, haha. 

So many people have already done this, but I’m going to tag @becomeawendybird @jaerie and @100percentsassy to do this if they would like! Also, @letsjustsee and @hrrytomlinson, even though you don’t have five fics on AO3, I’m still tagging you, if you just want to rank your fics in order? Or favorite chapters or something? I don’t know! No one should feel obligated to do so. And anyone else who would like to do this, of course! <3

Once in my French class I forgot a book in another classroom and my friend had a remote to the projector and I really needed that book so I asked my French teacher if I could get my book if i could turn the projector off with my mind and she was like “ya, sure” like in a smart ass way and I stared really hard at the projector and my friend cut off the projector from under his desk and the whole class started freaking out and she let me go get my book

lesbianoceans  asked:

hey so ur tag about failing in math in college is really comforting bc im in my second semester and im failing a class (critical thinking) and ive been like. freaking out about it and not sleeping n shit and i appreciate ur story about failing classes!! it took some of the stress off. thanks!!

no yeah like let me be very clear - during my freshman year i was an economics/poli sci double major, and the econ track required only two math classes: intro calculus and mathematical methods ii. i dropped intro calculus after the first week because the professor wasn’t great, figuring i’d just take it the following year with a new prof. i failed mathematical methods ii that semester - like, utterly tanked, failed both midterms, failed the final. 

and then during my second year i switched to a poli sci/public admin double major, so the math was no longer required, but i would have to retake it if i wanted to remove the F from my academic record. i was also applying to transfer to a different school (utoronto, #1 in canada) and i didn’t want the F on my transcript.

so i took mathematical methods ii again during the first semester of my second year. i showed up for every class. i took fastidious notes. i did all my homework. i got As on both midterms. 

and then i failed the final.

and they don’t let you pass the course unless you pass the final. i begged and pleaded with my prof, but there was nothing that could be done. so i now had two Fs on my transcript. i was devastated.

i applied to utoronto anyway. and i enrolled again for the third semester in a row, because i did not want that F on my transcript and i had come so close to passing last time. and… my mental health was awful that semester, i’d been raped over winter break and i’d just cut ties with my biological mother, so i was really not… feeling the whole school thing. i tanked on both midterms. don’t remember if i fully failed them or not, but my grades were Not Good.

and then i got a letter from utoronto saying that i’d be accepted if i passed the math course. so i threw everything i had into passing. i blocked tumblr for a month during finals. i did literally every exercise in my textbook, and then i did every practice exam i could get my hands on until i had memorized the “rules” for doing each type of problem. 

i got an A-. i passed the course. i got into utoronto, and transferred, and graduated on time with honours and transitioned right into a really math-y policy job. 

so like. in my experience, you can fuck up over and over again and you can still right the ship. i don’t mean for this to sound platitudinous but failure happens to literally everyone, in small ways and big, and you can keep yourself going as long as you realize that failure isn’t the final verdict. 

Heyo! I thought it was high time to host a tumblr awards and give something back to my wonderful followers. Also, thank you for supporting my blog, I really appreciate it. Hope you all enter! [prizes and categories under the cut]

🌟  Rules 🌟

  • must be following me
  • enter by reblogging this post; you may bookmark this post with likes if you wish
  • enter by… Sunday March 12th
  • each category will have 1 winner and 2 runners up
  • this post must reach 40+ notes or this never happened and i’ll be sad

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I just noticed that I’ve officially lost over 50 pounds since my highest weight back in 2013!

It’s almost not fair to count most of that weightloss, because I did so much of it without really trying. I weighed 263, my long-time boyfriend had moved away and broken up with me, and I wanted to look better so I could make one of my good friends into my boyfriend.

I just stopped eating so many tasting menus and cut out as much bread and sugar as I could and slowly but surely got down to the 223-ish I was at when I started this Tumblr. You hear people talk about lazy keto, but this was beyond lazy. I wasn’t tracking anything, and I cheated as often as I wanted. I almost feels like my body just wanted to be in the 220s on its own.

That friend did become my boyfriend, and now he’s my fiancé! We just realized that he started dating me when I was at my highest weight. What a guy.

Here’s to the next 50 pounds!

Enjoying XF S11 in a Post-Gillovny Universe

(Disclaimer: this is NOT a response to the latest Tumblr wank. This is a post I’ve been thinking about since I first heard about S11 and haven’t had time to write till now.)

First, I’m cautiously excited about S11. But it’s very different this time around, for a number of reasons. I think a lot of us were really expecting S10 to be amazing, in spite of our apprehensions about CC. Remember when we first saw the images and My Struggle looked so damn gorgeous? Remember we saw Mulder kissing Scully’s cheek, not knowing that bit would be cut from the episode? Despite S8/9 and IWTB, we hoped for more. We had some faith and that was a good thing.

But when S10 started to look…well, not so great, we all had an amazing back up: Gillovny. And it wasn’t even fiction! It was also a hard phenomena to ignore, considering Gillian’s whole XF social media campaign played on the idea that she and David were a thing. And, look, they are magic together. There is no denying that. For geezers like me, it’s just so heartening to see them enjoying one another after all they went through in the ‘90s. Even when I tried to look at their interactions objectively, outside of the Tumblr echo chamber, it was hard to know for sure what was going between them. It was also impossible not to be swept up in the joy of their crackling chemistry. Some of my most hilarious moments on this site were around spiraling about David and Gillian. (My Kimmel hangover alone will haunt me forever.) And all of that craziness, that Gillovny love is still on my blog history…proof that my excitement for S10 was heavily intertwined with Gillovny.

But now, things are different. There is no question in my mind that Gillian and Peter were together and no reason to believe they aren’t still together. Just to recap: there is not one fibre of my being that currently believes David and Gillian are together romantically.

So now what? There is no back up if Season 11 sucks, if Chris doesn’t do right by Mulder and Scully. My cushion is gone. I also wonder how I’m going to perceive David and Gillian’s interaction bts and during the press tour. If they are overly flirty, it most definitely will feel performative. If they aren’t flirty, I’ll miss that silliness. Do you guys know what I mean? I still want to flail a little bit and laugh with them but I know, as tortured as I was being in limbo, I’ll miss wondering if something was going on. So that leaves a much bigger burden on XF S11 to kick it in the ass. (Sigh.) But expectations need to be managed….so how does one go into S11 for maximum enjoyment? I’m struggling with that a bit.

Now, as for the Tumblr wank around my appreciation of Gillovny: I’ve been analysing David and Gillian’s relationship for 20+ years and I’m not about to stop just because of a bunch of bitter children who can’t face reality. They can create all the drama they want, but I’m not listening, I’m not looking, and I don’t care. I’ll continue to post whatever I want - Gillovny-related or otherwise.

NIGHTMARE by Nanase Ichika

from the SDR2 Comic Anthology, Vol. 2

((a.k.a. the full version of hinata’s gay nightmare))

I should have done this ages ago because that one image was the first post to really blow up on my dash but hey I got a bunch of free time now so here it is

Full thing under the cut or over here in a google docs file since the pages can be hard to read on tumblr

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anonymous asked:

Can I ask you why you blocked me my tumblr is Time-is-not-given?

I have so many people blocked, I don’t remember you. BUT!! I usually block people who I see completely derailing posts about anti black racism or other social issues and people who I see wilding out on a post (preemptive blocking has really come in handy cutting repeat offenders out of my notes). If I’ve seen you arguing or being rude to my mutuals, that’s a big one too.