is oddly arousing

youtube

So for some UNKNOWN reason this was on my YT homepage. I’m dying over here, please send help. @superprincesspea @lucifers-trash-stash @ofdragonsanddreams16 @idonthavehusbandsihavelovers @grab-my-boner 

Congratulations pt. 2

Pairing: Thomas Jefferson x Reader  
Word Count: 2,310ish
T/W: Smut / Cursing 
A/N: This took forever because I was watching Game 4 (Cleveland vs. Golden State) while writing! Oops, but I promise there are no basketball terms in here!


After almost two hours of debating with Hamilton you were exhausted. You had been adamantly attempting to convince him that he needed to fix the mess he had made, but he rejected every idea saying that he didn’t want to just apologize otherwise he would “lose his edge” as a writer. It wasn’t until after he agreed to one of your several suggestions that you remembered how you were “frustrated” with Thomas.

“Well, again I am sorry, ma’am…” Alexander said, pushing the elevator button.

“It’s…fine,” you raised your hand to your temple, giving it a slight rub accompanied with a faint smile, “Just…let’s get this fixed.”  

Once Alexander was out of sight behind the elevator doors, you looked around and noticed almost everyone was gone and those who weren’t were headed on their way out. You glanced at a nearby clock, realizing your conversation had kept you at work an hour later than usual. Smirking to yourself, you knew exactly who would still be here. You made your way to Jefferson’s office, and entered without knocking. 

Thomas looked up from his papers at the sound of his door locking. Smiling casually at you, as you mischievously walked toward his desk. 

“Well, hello ma’am, what can I do for you?” He sounded as if he had forgotten how he left you earlier.

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4

Brett Talbot x Reader


Warnings: Swearing, mature content, sexual content, nsfw, smut. 


Prequel to: Having a baby with Brett and freaking out when it shows werewolf traits, but can also be read separate.


A/N: @lazyneonmonster inspired me to write a smutty prequel to another fic, and I was like “Hell yeah, lets do it.” (as usual when smutty requests involves Brett.)
Also, this was supposed to be a sweet, fluff/smut fic, but on the other hand, nah. *scoffs*

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CSJJ Day 31: “Knead Your Loving”

A/N: Here it is, the final day of @csjanuaryjoy! I am so happy to be the endcap on what has been a fantastic month!! Have some lighthearted smut-glitter with inferences of terrible pornos. Thanks to @sambethe for looking this over and finding all my dumb errors and liking the same silly things I like about this one. (FYI: I have been up for 20 hours and worked both jobs today, finished this fic, and had too much caffeine. Please forgive me for such a title.)

Prompt: My friend keeps lecturing me on the importance of self care and I booked a massage to shut them up.. But my masseuse is the anonymous stranger I fucked at Christmas.

Rating: M to be safe?


So far, 2017 has been… less than kind to Emma Swan. That’s the way she’s putting it right now, at least. She won’t claim it’s anywhere as bad as 2016 – she’ll give it a couple more months before she claims that. But January has not been very gentle with her.

The colder-than-average weather means everything hurts just a little more. Running after criminals in bitter chill doesn’t work as well as in the more temperate weather, so she’s bruised and bumped and has spent more nights with her feet in a tub of hot water than she can really count.

There’s a text waiting for her when she gets home from work, Snow’s cheery message of greeting reminding her there’s a reason she got her a gift certificate to the local spa.

“Treat yo’ self,” Emma mutters out loud, her eyes gliding across the letters as they appear in the message. She can’t remember the last time she did something as simple as relax. She’s been perpetually on the move for what feels like her whole life, but at least the pace she keeps now is up to her instead of being shoved from one home to another in the foster process.

She closes out of the messaging app and dials the number on the certificate before she can talk herself out of the decision. There’s still another week before her son comes back from a winter vacation with his adoptive mother, and it might be nice to hit the reset button in celebration of the new year. Get a massage, clean house, refocus herself, and be ready for whatever the next eleven months might throw at her.

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Title: Consequences

Pairing: Victor Zsasz x Reader x Ed Nygma

Summary: Ed told you there would be consequences. He didn’t mention exactly what they were though. (Shout out to @ruffles-the-fluffalo for requesting this glorious idea)

Warnings: I have a thing with calling Ed ‘Sir’ and ‘Mr. Nygma’ so sue me. I also really love when he talks dirty apparently. And Zsasz calling Reader ‘kitten’. All kinks ahoy, matey. There’s biting, blood (mentioned), hair pulling, slapping, anal sex, blowjobs. Everything is consensual though. Mostly. There’s literally no fluff in this at all. Just really rough fucking.

Originally posted by rainovermyhead

Originally posted by cobblepotvaleska

     When you agreed to work for Oswald Cobblepot you had no idea that also meant you would be working for Ed Nygma. And with Victor Zsasz. You’d heard so many stories of those three men. So many terrifying, awful stories. If you’re being perfectly honest with yourself- and anyone really- that’s why you accepted the offer so quickly. That part of a person’s brain that tells them “danger, run” never really developed in you. Sure, you would run. But it would always be towards the danger rather than away. The three most powerful and horrible men in Gotham would be your bosses and coworker. How exciting is that?

     Apparently the appropriate answer is ‘not at all’ if the glares from your best friend are any indication. You wake up, she glares. Go to work, she glares. Retell a riddle Mr. Nygma made you figure out, she glares. Show her the way Zsasz brushed against you in the hallway, she glares. The only time she isn’t completely disgusted by your job is when you talk about the mayor. She quickly becomes attentive and responsive. It would be adorable if it wasn’t so annoying. Sometimes you wonder if you should hint to Oswald he’s garnered a lot of female attention. A lot of positive female attention. Even if he doesn’t want to pursue any of them romantically he can always find a way to work the predicament to his advantage.

     You think about it all day at work, tapping your pencil against your desk while your mind wanders to how exactly you would approach the subject. Mayor Cobblepot is a very… temperamental man. You don’t want to lose your job for suggesting something he takes the wrong way.

     A loud thud pulls you from your thoughts. Ed is standing in front of your desk, arms crossed, tired expression on his face. He gestures to the files he lovingly and gently threw down in front of you, saying, “Have all of this reviewed by the end of the day.”

     “What? There’s no way!” And there really isn’t. The stack of papers are thicker than your thighs.

     “This isn’t an option. Oswald needs it by tomorrow.” Ed starts to walk away, tossing one last comment over his shoulder with what seems like practiced ease. “If you’re unable to perform the task satisfactorily there will be consequences.”

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tsukishima-tadashi  asked:

Another horror prompt: Ennoshita is a vampire and Tanaka accidentally happens upon him draining some rando dry and watches on in terror and, oddly, arousal.

Ryuu hates being out late, despite what people would assume. He isn’t really a night owl; and walking through Miyagi in the middle of the night is intimidating. There are thugs and hookers and drunks, and…

He prefers to stay away from those types of people. 

But to walk from Noya’s house to his own, he has to cross town. In doing so, he must go through three bad neighborhoods, walk past three bars and a night club, and one whore house. The dark brings out all of the people he tries to avoid, as well as petty childish fears. 

Like vampires, and werewolves, and monsters. 

“W- Wait, what are you–” Ryuu’s head whirls around, wide eyes flying to the empty alleyway he’s walking past– or, what he thought was an empty alleyway. “Please, no m- more–!” 

Ryuu’s eyes catch a set of dark, human-like figures against the wall of a dingy-looking bar, one latched onto the other, smaller’s neck. The figure biting the other pushes its victim, struggling, into the wall. 

“Please, you’re taking to much, Chikara–!” 

Chikara? 

The big figure pulls off, and in the yellow of the street light Ryuu catches the glint of red, dripping blood on long, razor-sharp teeth. The other, a pale young girl with short black hair and large breasts, collapses against the wall, blood dripping from her collar bone where a large, round bite mark. Ryuu makes eye contact with the beast that had attacked the poor girl, and he gasps when his eyes meet the beast’s. 

Its eyes are so familiar

“Ryuu?” Its fangs retract, and Ryuu is met face to face with Ennoshita Chikara, blood dripping from his lips. Ryuu stares, breath caught in his throat, and he whimpers lightly. 

“…Ennoshita?” 

The girl on the ground groans, and Ryuu takes a step back. “Shit, Ennoshita, what the fuck did you do to her–?!” 

“Please, Ryuu, don’t be scared–” 

“R…Run–” 

The girl grunts, reaching out to Ryuu, and he’s inclined to listen. He takes two more slower steps back, before turning and starting into a run, his heart pounding. He hasn’t even moved a meter and when Ennoshita – no, the monster that looks like Ennoshita – appears before him in a flash. 

“Shit–!” He gasps as Ennoshita slams him into a wall, all of his breath leaving him. 

“Please, don’t be scared.” Ennoshita begs, his voice light and scared. Ryuu stares at him. How can he be scared? He just– Ryuu looks at the girl only to find her laying on the ground, slumped over herself, and he can’t seem to look away. She’s deathly pale, now, her eyes open in terror, and she isn’t moving. 

“Did y- Did you kill her?!” 

“No! God, no! She– She’s an old friend, we meet up every now and then so I can eat–” 

“Eat?” 

“God, Ryuu, you’re really stupid, aren’t you?!” Ennoshita all but shouts, and Ryuu flinches. “I…I’m a vampire. Did the sharp teeth and blood and speed and strength not tell you that?” 

“I…She told me to run…” 

“I’m starving,” Ennoshita breathes, and Ryuu could swear he was eyeing his neck. He struggles against his friends’ hold, but he holds him strong and unwavering. “She – Uzumi-kun – She knows what I’m like when I haven’t eaten in a while…” 

Ryuu takes a deep breath, and looks at the girl. Her eyes are closed now, and the wound on her neck is healing quickly, her breathing soft. His own shakes. 

“Ryuu…” 

“You can…bite me if you want…” Ennoshita drops Ryuu, and he falls to the alleyway ground with a grunt. He looks up at the vampire, eyes trusting. He stands, and approaches Ennoshita. “You said you were hungry? Still?” 

“Y- Yeah…” 

“Then bite me. I trust you.” He bares his neck. Ennoshita takes a deep breath, takes a shaking step back. Ryuu catches his wrist. “Come on.” 

Ryuu doesn’t even recognize his own voice; it’s soft, and breathy, a far cry from his usually loud, cantankerous voice. It scares him. But he’s a good scared. 

He tugs at Ennoshita’s wrist, pulls him close. This time, Ennoshita bares his fangs, really just a set of sharper teeth, and leans in hesitantly. Ryuu takes his free hand and presses it against the back of Ennoshita’s head, pushing. Encouraging. 

And Ennoshita bites. 

Lord of Shadows: a pretty harsh review (and analysis on the great and not so great parts)

(Super long sorry)
(Unpopular opinions sorry)
I loved this book while reading it, the plot flowed well, the characters were quite lovable, but once I finished it- it felt like I had read nothing at all. The only feelings I had came from the whole situation with Kieran and Mark and Cristina, and that was just because I’m a total sucker for sad romances where one loves the other way more than they are loved back but ANYWAYS.

(THE KIERARKTINA ANALYSIS IS NEAR THE END)

Plot
Villians
Unseelie King
Isn’t even half as threatening or formidable of an archenemy as Sebastian Morgenstern, and that makes the whole story quite weak already

Seelie Queen
She’s going to do something that will bite the shadowhunters in their arse the moment Julian gives him the Black Book. Predictable. She could’ve done way more manipulation on the others as well.

Zara and the Cohort
Everyone who fought in the way againt the Circle/Valentine is still alive. There is no way that within 10 years people who go back to wanting to brand downworlders and such. They remember the last time someone wanted to do that a massive war broke out and their relatives died. Also Zara is a two-dimensional character: her goal is weak, and she doesn’t seem to have any human/likeable qualities. So she’s a Regina-George-type character, made to be hated, but the Unseelie King has already taken that role. Repeat: Sebastian Morgenstern was a way better villian, since he had a single human quality: he wanted to be with his family, his sister and his brother. This brings us onto my next point

Characters
Both the villians and the heros both had very single-trait, non in-depth personalities, probably due to the amount of characters and arcs.

Emma: too unflawed. Her emotions are quite simple throughout the book (there could’ve been great inner turmoil about whether she could give up being shadowhunter to love/protect Julian). She killed a rider too easily- making her seem to powerful.

Julian: He was a pretty horrible person in this bk but in terms of character depth he’s not too bad. He loves his family and would do anything for them and it’s shown in a variety of ways. I’ve been comparing him to Cersei, since he’s on the whole “family is most important” and “manipulation” thing. However, considering that he’s practically been running the family, he should definitely sound less whiny and more mature.

Cristina: I don’t even know what to say. I can’t even remember what you did apart from sing lullabies and be attached to Mark. Her lack of more personality sucks because Kieran keeps saying she’s really nice and kind and stuff, but it’s not that supported really. She could’ve contributed way more to the fantastic love triangle, by trying to actively push Mark away because she’s seen how much Kieran loves him. Her selfishness here doesn’t lone up with her wanting to end the Cold Peace for both faeries and shadowhunter’s gain.

Mark: I hate him and love him. Cassie made a good decision in making him quite the douchebag, not quite loving Kieran as much as he loves him and not caring enough about Kieran’s feelings. But that makes him the most realistic of all characters: he feels regret since he’s practically ditched Kieran the minute he didnt need him (I mean there’s the whole “you made my brother and sister get tortured but you saved my other brother” thing which should’ve been Mark’s excuse to himself about why he’s not choosing Kieran, but he’s doesn’t and runs around with Cristina anyways. Interesting.

Kieran: I love him to much to make any judgement. Also he’s a faerie- they aren’t exactly “humans” and their emotions are more 2D so…

Ty: Better character compared to some others, and we now understand mildly how the twins and Kit work together as a team (since Kit needs to become one of the only people that understand Ty due to Liv’s death) . Also his loyalty to family as seen by the letter to Annabel. Cassie has laid great groundwork for him. Can’t wait for him to be a main character.

Kit: He and Ty need potential to evolve in the next series so I’m giving them some slack. I’ll do more analysis on their relationship later.

Liv: She loves her brother and is curious about Kit and she’s a generally more “realistic” character. Really thats it. I wish I felt tears for her death. I dont. Cassie could’ve developed her even more as a character, but then that would make her death more painful so. But her importance to Ty and the rest of the family is written enough that it would justify the changes that will happen due to her death.

Dru: TBH Cassie could’ve not spread the characters out so much that we’re kinda at a lost. Time spent writing about Dru could’ve been used on main-er characters, but Jaime needed an introduction. So did she. Looking forward to reading more about her in TWP.

Diego: A character with multiple loyalties! Yay!

Diana: It would’ve been way more influential if she had been forced by Julian to explain why she couldn’t apply for the institute instead of dropping it like a “bonus” story which makes her seem like then token LGBT character. It’s a great plot twist that couldn’t have seemed even more forced. It’s kinda sad that a brilliant character reveal was ruined

Gywp: He’s leader of the Wild Hunt and I know he’s in love with Diana but he’s not Magnus, who’s always had nothing better to do than help hot shadowhunters. (Jkjk)

Magnus/Alec/Jace/Clary: domestically cute and cameos that contribute to the main arcs.

Now, onto the more controversial topics:
THE ROMANCE
Julian/Emma: This entire book is supposed to be about them balancing dealing for their love of each other with saving the world. It’s written in a whiny way and not nearly enough character (If you’ve read the Throne of Glass series, then you’ll understand- they needed the long-ass training scene between Aelin and Rowan). We never read about how they fall in love and that makes the emotions quite plastic…? It would’ve been fantastic to read more about how they fell in love instead of how they are insanely tortured now. It doesn’t emotionally appeal to me at all.

Cristina/Mark/Kieran: Words cannot express how much I fucking love this romance arc. It gives me so many feels, and half of them make me cry. I’ll analyse Kierark first. When it first debuted it felt like the “token hot gay ship thats thrown in for the fangirls to get off to”, but then as time passes we slowly learn how toxic this relationship really is. Kieran doesn’t love anything else in this world apart from Mark, having no family, no friends to love him. Whereas with Mark, he’s always been surrounded with love, with his half-brothers and sisters, Emma, Helen… etc. He doesn’t understand how much he means to Kieran, and Kieran definitely loves Mark more. In the Wild Hunt, it’s shown just how much Mark depended on Kieran to stay sane, which suggests, as Cristina says, that Mark owes a debt to Kieran. But it is not nearly that simple. Kieran’s love for Mark is what kept him sane, and love is unconditional in most cases, including this. It is undeniable that Mark, despite him having the possibility of not being in love with Kieran when they first become lovers, due to it merely being what he needed, it is certain that Mark does feel for Kieran. Even when Kieran betrays Mark, Kieran believes it to only bring Mark back to him. I see someone so broken that they’d do anything to have their lover back, not a selfish bastard who doesn’t cate about Mark at all. Kieran doesn’t understand “Family”, and in his defence the Blackthorns are a large enough family to survive without Mark. I’m not saying Kieran is entirely blameless, but its a totally understandable thing to want things to go back to how they used to be, and that is extremely human and (“I betcha you would have done the same”). Their love is insanely primitive and raw, and it is more of a “need” to both of them. Kieran needs someone to give him love, Mark needed someone to keep him sane.
Then we move onto Mark. For some reason, the faerie-blooded characters seem to act the most human in this series. Mark is a bloody douche for stringing Kieran on, while pursuing Cristina, but then that’s exactly what he craves. He needs someone to love him, in a simple way. He craves normality, and that comes in the form of Cristina, whom he finds himself attracted to, originally physical (he says he wants Cristina and that Kieran wouldn’t mind: he was not emotionally attracted to Cristina. But now that he’s spent time and realised how easy she is to love, he loves her). Kieran and Mark’s relationship is not just sexual, or romantic, or friendship, or brotherhood- it’s insanely complex and dependent and its toxic but they will never be able to remove the bond between them. They’ve experienced life and death together. But Mark doesn’t want to be burdened by such a heavy emotional relationship anymore, and that’s understandable, so he turns to Cristina. Kieran cannot bring himself to hate Cristina, since she wants the Cold Peace to end and that shows how much she cares for everyone and how she uncharacteristically wants to protect faerie rights despite being a shadowhunter. Cristina also oddly finds their relationship arousing instead of being jealous of Kieran, which leads to some of the fandom wishing for a polyamorous relationship. (Including me to an extent). On one hand Cristina could neutralise the toxicity of Kierark and also slowly teach Kieran to love other people, which would result in him not requiring the entirety of Mark’s love. (Cuz currently, Kieran love mark with 100% of his heart and wants Mark to do the same. If Kieran loved other people it would be less toxic, since Mark does HAVE to share his love with his family even if Cristina is out of the picture ) On the other hand, it would be great for Kieran to find someone who will love him as much or even more than he loves them. The smol deserves more love in his life, don’t you think? Also, I forgot to mention that Kieran does need to go back to the Wild Hunt, or he might become Unseelie King, and then Kierkark could actually be impossible, but I firmly believe they’ll always love each other, maybe not as much as before, but they’ve left quite the imprint on each other’s lives
(The stars will go out before I forget you, Mark Blackthorn)

Ty/Kit: LIKE THEY COMPLEMENT EACH OTHER SO WELL TY DOESN’T OPEN UP EASILY WHEREAS KIT DOES (he’s already attached to the Blackthorns) And Kit is so much more outgoing and cool and GAH its a great ship looking SO forward to TWP. (Srsly I have so much hopes for TWP cuz in my opinion TDA is a bit of a weak arc and the only redeeming characters seem to be Mark’s drama (I don’t think we’re going to see this in TWP I’m sad)

Gwyp/Diana: super cute and deserves more love

In conclusion:
I love Cassandra Claire’s style and how she can make character relationships insanely lovable. The fact that she always protects the characters all of us love from dying is great too. But @cassandraclaire if you see this, please do consider these points made by a fangirl who is nitpicking a bit (I hope this series ends up as good as TID) for the greater good😂 (Also Diego/Kieran ain’t too bad of a ship either😏😂)

If you disagree with any of these, I am open to dicussions:) Just please don’t blindly hate on this: all of us are entitled to opinions, you have yours and I have mine. Let’s respect each other, okay?

The Dark Affices: Lord of Shadows Analysis

(Unpopular opinions sorry+mostly criticism but the book is good, its just Imm irked by these points GAH )
I loved this book while reading it, the plot flowed well, the characters were quite lovable, but once I finished it- it felt like I had read nothing at all. The only feelings I had came from the whole situation with Kieran and Mark and Cristina, and that was just because I’m a total sucker for sad romances where one loves the other way more than they are loved back but ANYWAYS.

(THE KIERARKTINA ANALYSIS IS NEAR THE END)

Plot
Villians
Unseelie King
Isn’t even half as threatening or formidable of an archenemy as Sebastian Morgenstern, and that makes the whole story quite weak already

Seelie Queen
She’s going to do something that will bite the shadowhunters in their arse the moment Julian gives him the Black Book. Predictable. She could’ve done way more manipulation on the others as well.

Zara and the Cohort
Everyone who fought in the way againt the Circle/Valentine is still alive. There is no way that within 10 years people who go back to wanting to brand downworlders and such. They remember the last time someone wanted to do that a massive war broke out and their relatives died. Also Zara is a two-dimensional character: her goal is weak, and she doesn’t seem to have any human/likeable qualities. So she’s a Regina-George-type character, made to be hated, but the Unseelie King has already taken that role. Repeat: Sebastian Morgenstern was a way better villian, since he had a single human quality: he wanted to be with his family, his sister and his brother. This brings us onto my next point

Characters
Both the villians and the heros both had very single-trait, non in-depth personalities, probably due to the amount of characters and arcs.

Emma: too unflawed. Her emotions are quite simple throughout the book (there could’ve been great inner turmoil about whether she could give up being shadowhunter to love/protect Julian). She killed a rider too easily- making her seem to powerful.

Julian: He was a pretty horrible person in this bk but in terms of character depth he’s not too bad. He loves his family and would do anything for them and it’s shown in a variety of ways. I’ve been comparing him to Cersei, since he’s on the whole “family is most important” and “manipulation” thing. However, considering that he’s practically been running the family, he should definitely sound less whiny and more mature.

Cristina: I don’t even know what to say. I can’t even remember what you did apart from sing lullabies and be attached to Mark. Her lack of more personality sucks because Kieran keeps saying she’s really nice and kind and stuff, but it’s not that supported really. She could’ve contributed way more to the fantastic love triangle, by trying to actively push Mark away because she’s seen how much Kieran loves him. Her selfishness here doesn’t lone up with her wanting to end the Cold Peace for both faeries and shadowhunter’s gain.

Mark: I hate him and love him. Cassie made a good decision in making him quite the douchebag, not quite loving Kieran as much as he loves him and not caring enough about Kieran’s feelings. But that makes him the most realistic of all characters: he feels regret since he’s practically ditched Kieran the minute he didnt need him (I mean there’s the whole “you made my brother and sister get tortured but you saved my other brother” thing which should’ve been Mark’s excuse to himself about why he’s not choosing Kieran, but he’s doesn’t and runs around with Cristina anyways. Interesting.

Kieran: I love him to much to make any judgement. Also he’s a faerie- they aren’t exactly “humans” and their emotions are more 2D so…

Ty: Better character compared to some others, and we now understand mildly how the twins and Kit work together as a team (since Kit needs to become one of the only people that understand Ty due to Liv’s death) . Also his loyalty to family as seen by the letter to Annabel. Cassie has laid great groundwork for him. Can’t wait for him to be a main character.

Kit: He and Ty need potential to evolve in the next series so I’m giving them some slack. I’ll do more analysis on their relationship later.

Liv: She loves her brother and is curious about Kit and she’s a generally more “realistic” character. Really thats it. I wish I felt tears for her death. I dont. Cassie could’ve developed her even more as a character, but then that would make her death more painful so. But her importance to Ty and the rest of the family is written enough that it would justify the changes that will happen due to her death.

Dru: TBH Cassie could’ve not spread the characters out so much that we’re kinda at a lost. Time spent writing about Dru could’ve been used on main-er characters, but Jaime needed an introduction. So did she. Looking forward to reading more about her in TWP.

Diego: A character with multiple loyalties! Yay!

Diana: It would’ve been way more influential if she had been forced by Julian to explain why she couldn’t apply for the institute instead of dropping it like a “bonus” story which makes her seem like then token LGBT character. It’s a great plot twist that couldn’t have seemed even more forced. It’s kinda sad that a brilliant character reveal was ruined

Gywp: He’s leader of the Wild Hunt and I know he’s in love with Diana but he’s not Magnus, who’s always had nothing better to do than help hot shadowhunters. (Jkjk)

Magnus/Alec/Jace/Clary: domestically cute and cameos that contribute to the main arcs.

Now, onto the more controversial topics:
THE ROMANCE
Julian/Emma: This entire book is supposed to be about them balancing dealing for their love of each other with saving the world. It’s written in a whiny way and not nearly enough character (If you’ve read the Throne of Glass series, then you’ll understand- they needed the long-ass training scene between Aelin and Rowan). We never read about how they fall in love and that makes the emotions quite plastic…? It would’ve been fantastic to read more about how they fell in love instead of how they are insanely tortured now. It doesn’t emotionally appeal to me at all.

Cristina/Mark/Kieran: Words cannot express how much I fucking love this romance arc. It gives me so many feels, and half of them make me cry. I’ll analyse Kierark first. When it first debuted it felt like the “token hot gay ship thats thrown in for the fangirls to get off to”, but then as time passes we slowly learn how toxic this relationship really is. Kieran doesn’t love anything else in this world apart from Mark, having no family, no friends to love him. Whereas with Mark, he’s always been surrounded with love, with his half-brothers and sisters, Emma, Helen… etc. He doesn’t understand how much he means to Kieran, and Kieran definitely loves Mark more. In the Wild Hunt, it’s shown just how much Mark depended on Kieran to stay sane, which suggests, as Cristina says, that Mark owes a debt to Kieran. But it is not nearly that simple. Kieran’s love for Mark is what kept him sane, and love is unconditional in most cases, including this. It is undeniable that Mark, despite him having the possibility of not being in love with Kieran when they first become lovers, due to it merely being what he needed, it is certain that Mark does feel for Kieran. Even when Kieran betrays Mark, Kieran believes it to only bring Mark back to him. I see someone so broken that they’d do anything to have their lover back, not a selfish bastard who doesn’t cate about Mark at all. Kieran doesn’t understand “Family”, and in his defence the Blackthorns are a large enough family to survive without Mark. I’m not saying Kieran is entirely blameless, but its a totally understandable thing to want things to go back to how they used to be, and that is extremely human and (“I betcha you would have done the same”). Their love is insanely primitive and raw, and it is more of a “need” to both of them. Kieran needs someone to give him love, Mark needed someone to keep him sane.
Then we move onto Mark. For some reason, the faerie-blooded characters seem to act the most human in this series. Mark is a bloody douche for stringing Kieran on, while pursuing Cristina, but then that’s exactly what he craves. He needs someone to love him, in a simple way. He craves normality, and that comes in the form of Cristina, whom he finds himself attracted to, originally physical (he says he wants Cristina and that Kieran wouldn’t mind: he was not emotionally attracted to Cristina. But now that he’s spent time and realised how easy she is to love, he loves her). Kieran and Mark’s relationship is not just sexual, or romantic, or friendship, or brotherhood- it’s insanely complex and dependent and its toxic but they will never be able to remove the bond between them. They’ve experienced life and death together. But Mark doesn’t want to be burdened by such a heavy emotional relationship anymore, and that’s understandable, so he turns to Cristina. Kieran cannot bring himself to hate Cristina, since she wants the Cold Peace to end and that shows how much she cares for everyone and how she uncharacteristically wants to protect faerie rights despite being a shadowhunter. Cristina also oddly finds their relationship arousing instead of being jealous of Kieran, which leads to some of the fandom wishing for a polyamorous relationship. (Including me to an extent). On one hand Cristina could neutralise the toxicity of Kierark and also slowly teach Kieran to love other people, which would result in him not requiring the entirety of Mark’s love. (Cuz currently, Kieran love mark with 100% of his heart and wants Mark to do the same. If Kieran loved other people it would be less toxic, since Mark does HAVE to share his love with his family even if Cristina is out of the picture ) On the other hand, it would be great for Kieran to find someone who will love him as much or even more than he loves them. The smol deserves more love in his life, don’t you think? Also, I forgot to mention that Kieran does need to go back to the Wild Hunt, or he might become Unseelie King, and then Kierkark could actually be impossible, but I firmly believe they’ll always love each other, maybe not as much as before, but they’ve left quite the imprint on each other’s lives
(The stars will go out before I forget you, Mark Blackthorn)

Ty/Kit: LIKE THEY COMPLEMENT EACH OTHER SO WELL TY DOESN’T OPEN UP EASILY WHEREAS KIT DOES (he’s already attached to the Blackthorns) And Kit is so much more outgoing and cool and GAH its a great ship looking SO forward to TWP. (Srsly I have so much hopes for TWP cuz in my opinion TDA is a bit of a weak arc and the only redeeming characters seem to be Mark’s drama (I don’t think we’re going to see this in TWP I’m sad)

Gwyp/Diana: super cute and deserves more love

In conclusion:
I love Cassandra Clare’s style and how she can make character relationships insanely lovable. The fact that she always protects the characters all of us love from dying is great too. But @cassandraclare if you see this, please do consider these points made by a fangirl who is nitpicking a bit (I hope this series ends up as good as TID) for the greater good😂 (Also Diego/Kieran ain’t too bad of a ship either😏😂)

If you disagree with any of these, I am open to dicussions:) Just please don’t blindly hate on this: all of us are entitled to opinions, you have yours and I have mine. Let’s respect each other, okay?

A Woman in Uniform: Jim x Reader, SMUT

When the reader becomes bored of waiting for Jim to come home, she decides to take a little trip down to the GCPD to see him. Warnings for Smut as usual ;)

Originally posted by fuckyeahgothamfox

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2

Hiiiiii, so tonight I thought it would be a great idea to write a little au oneshot to prep myself for the new au I’m writing. In the process I remembered this post and the light bulb turned on. so fromherlips and alwaysinstylesfics , here is your semi smutty, personal trainer Harry au one shot. You’re welcome and enjoy! 


Work Hard, Play Harder  (a personal trainer au)

She rolled up her mat and tucked it underneath her arm. “No legs today?”

Harry shook his head. “I want to focus on abs and arms.” They walked over to an empty area where two boxing gloves sat as well as two hand pads. “We’re gonna work on your strength and speed with a bit of sparring.”

Ella’s eyes widened and her brows furrowed. “You want me to punch you?”

“Well not literally. Like I’ll be wearing these and you punch them.” he laughed

“So I can’t punch your face?”

“No you can not.” Ella tsk’d and set her mat and water down, replacing them with the black boxing gloves.

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anonymous asked:

Is it too late for hoe stories bc I don't hoe much but I did recently. Me and my friend were play fighting and he didn't know I'm a masochist and he ended up slapping me across the face and I was like "wow okay I'm oddly aroused" and one thing lead to another and I found out he is a major sadist. He didn't stop until I was bruised and bleeding (all consensual) and now I can't sit or do anything involving my thighs without thinking about him or the things he called me and I just oh my god

I can’t imagine that you two are still just friends after this shit… discovering other people’s kinks is my favorite hobby

Reaction Ficlet:How J-hope would react to your first time together

Reaction Ficlet Masterpost: How BTS would react to your first time together


Originally posted by hobssoftie

You try not to stare as J-Hope emerges from your bathroom wearing your fluffy grey robe.

“Thank you,” he says cheerfully, his cheeks pink from the shower and his hair damp and ruffled. You try to keep your eyes locked on his face but the robe isn’t closed properly and your gaze is pulled down to trace a path from his throat down to his chest. An embarrassing pulse of heat settles in your core. For heaven’s sake, you think, dragging your eyes away. If a tiny glimpse of the man’s chest has you wheezing for breath, what would happen when the two of you finally have sex? You pause, your mind racing through the possibilities.

“You okay?”

You flush and clear your throat softly. “Yes,” you say, giving him what you hope was an easy smile.

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a brief list of my favourite snez tropes:

  • characters asking for permission to sneeze/apologising for sneezing
  • stubborn character succumbs to allergies/falls sick (aggressively stubborn characters + sneezing is a dream combination tbh)
    • said character getting mad when others advise them to rest/go indoors, insisting on carrying on with their day as per normal in spite of occasional sneezing fits
  • character 1: *talks at length, keeps pausing to sneeze, doesn’t acknowledge it*
    character 2, after the third sneeze: are you catching a cold?
    character 1: me? catching a co– *turns away to sneeze* a cold? impossible
  • character sneezing from triggers that were deliberately employed by another character to cause sneezing, e.g. torture scenarios, even better if they refuse to sneeze
  • character 1, normally well-put-together/polite/fastidious, rendered a mess by a surprise sneezing fit
    • character 2 teases them about the mess they are, causing character 1 to attempt, and fail, to hold back their subsequent sneezes
    • character 1 sneezes on character 2 by accident…and character 2 is oddly aroused by this utter lack of restraint
  • also a well-put-together character, trying their very best to keep up with their own traitorous respiratory system, covertly cleaning up and fixing their appearance every time, only to have their efforts come undone again and again
Dirty Talk (Newt Scamander X Reader)

Requested: Yes

Anon: Can you do a newt/reader where the reader has a tendency to say sexual things as jokes and what not and newt gets really flustered by them and takes them to seriously and interprets them as him needing to do something (like his her) and he ends up doing that (or something like that whatever you want) and basically yeah

Word Count: 1 307

A/N: I changed it up a bit, I hope that’s okay. And the title, ahaha two words you don’t really expect to see beside Newt’s name…enjoy!

*****

“Haha!” Tina cries victoriously, marching right over to you and pointing a finger directly in your face. “I won the bet! And you still haven’t payed me back yet, so I’m going to rub it in your face until you do!”

You gulp and slowly take a step back.

“What bet?” you ask innocently, blinking your eyes a few times. You were going to play this off cool.

Tina just smirks, rolling her eyes.

“Please, both of us know exactly what I’m talking about.” she says, her smirk getting wider by the second.

*****

“Jacob would go to Ilvermorny, (Y/N), stop denying it.” Queenie says melodically and you pout.

“Are we still over looking the fact that he’s not a wizard?” you huff, this conversation getting old.

“Yeah, but if he was one he’d go to Ilvermorny, it is the better school after all.” Tina argues back and you sigh, you couldn’t let them win this one.

“Hogwarts is better and that is that!” you state, getting up from your seat to stand in front of your two best friends. “Besides, Newt agrees with me.”

“Of course he does, he’s your boyfriend. And he also went to Hogwarts, so that’s not fair.”

“Well both of you went to Ilvermorny!” you say, getting pumped up for no good reason. This conversation tended to happen a lot; which wizarding school was better and blah, blah, blah. However, both sides would always get super competitive and would do whatever they could to defend their school’s honour. It was really quite childish as times.

“Fine then.” Tina says, shrugging her shoulders back and straightening her posture. Uh, oh something was about to go down.

“I bet that if you ask Jacob, he’ll choose Ilvermorny.” she says.

You don’t answer straight away.

“Isn’t this going too far?” you ask, gulping. “We all know that this is a silly thing we’ve been doing for forever.”

“Which is exactly why we should end this here and now, and what better way than to ask a No-Maj-”

“Muggle.”

“Himself!” she continues, playfully glaring at you. “Also, why so nervous, if you’re sure Hogwarts is better?”

“Fine.”

*****

“What do you want? Money?” you ask, groaning and walking over to the drawer where the three of you kept your money.

“Oh no honey, she wants you to do something for her.” Queenie says, coming out of no where.

“What do you want me to do?” you say, sighing.

“You’ll see.” Jacob says, also seemingly appearing out of no where.

You take a tiny step back as they all approach you, surrounding you in a tiny circle.

“Why are you guys trapping me? It’s not like I’m going to run away, how bad can this be?” you say, laughing.

“Where’s Newt when you need him.” you then mutter quietly under your and Tina smirks.

Something clicks in your head.

“Oh no, please don’t bring Newt into this.” you beg and they all smile.

“Oh, too bad for you I guess.” Tina says before explaining what you had to do.

“You’re kidding right? He’s too innocent!” you say, although you kind of felt like laughing and crying at the same time.

“Yes, he is a precious little soul, but we all want to see what would happen if…”

“I hate you.” you say, glaring at Jacob. “Why did you have to choose Ilvermorny?”

*****

You hesitantly walk towards your boyfriend, who was tending to the Bowtruckles, and nervously gulped.

You look back and see the other three hiding and giving you looks of encouragement. You sigh.
The dare was that you had to spend the rest of the day talking dirty to Newt. Tina even gave you a list of things to say if you couldn’t think of any. This was so weird though, he was so sweet and innocent and you were afraid of how he would react. However you were also kind of excited, you loved how adorable he became whenever he was embarrassed. This was evil, and all four of you were to blame, but all four of you were also dying to see the results.

You take a deep breath and walk over to him, wrapping your arms from around the back and around his torso, nuzzling your face into his back.

“Oh, hello (Y/N),” he says lovingly, putting down an empty bucket, he had finished feeding. He turns around to hug you properly.

You say nothing, you just continue to hug him and he melts underneath your touch. Now it was the time to put your plan into action.

“Get down on me and make me feel good.” you whisper in his ear, lightly nipping his ear lobe.

He immediately turns a dark shade of red.

“Umm, uh here? R-right now? Are you s-sure t-t-that’s even a g-good idea?”

You say nothing, but you slowly start to lower both of you to the ground and Newt freezes, becoming paralyzed.

“(Y/N).” he whimpers and you hide a smile. He was so confused right now and wasn’t sure what to do. “D-do you w-want me to…”

You nod and he hesitantly moves to your feet and removes your shoes and starts to message your feet gently.

“Newt?”

“How does that feel?” he asks hopefully. “I know you’ve been walking around a lot these days and that your feet are sore and blistered.”

You fight back a laugh.

“Perfect.”

*****

“Do you want to see the kind of underwear I’m wearing?” you ask him when you’re all sitting around the table and waiting for lunch to be served.

“Umm? Do you want me to check? Is the tag bugging you or something?” he asks, starting to ramble.

Other men would take this another way but Newt was different, he took everything too literally and that made you love him even more. He was so innocent.

“Check.” you say, winking and he blushes beet red.

“H-here?”

He gulps and covers his eyes with his hair and peeks just enough to see what your wearing underneath your clothes.

“It’s a l-lovely pink s-slip my dear.” he murmurs, his face still burning.

“Thank you Newt.” you smile, giving him a peck on the cheek. It burned your lips.

*****

“I love the way you hold me in your arms as you stroke me.” you murmur into his ear when you were sitting on a sofa with his arms wrapped around you.

He flushes again, and slowly raises one of his hands to stroke your soft hair.

“Like that?” he asks, hesitantly.

“Yes, exactly like that.” you fight back another laugh.

At this point, Tina, Queenie and Jacob are completely losing it and they all decide to get ready for bed.

“You can stop now (Y/N), that’s enough.” Tina says when she leaves the living room to go to sleep, in a fit of giggles.

“What does she mean-”

“Come on sweetie, let’s go back to your case and get ready for bed.” you say, taking his hands in yours.

*****

“(Y/N), you’ve been acting strangely the entire day.” Newt states as he joins you on the small bed inside his shed.

“Was I?” you ask innocently.

“Yes, and it made me feel, oddly aroused.” he says, suddenly kissing you harshly, passionately.

You gasp, this wasn’t what you were expecting.

He crawls on top of you and says, “I love the way you feel underneath me.”

It was your turn to blush.

“I’ve picked up a few things today, and I don’t know what you’ve done to me the entire day, but I do know one thing,” he continues, grinding his hips into yours. Not Newt like, almost beast like. “I like it when you talk dirty.”

Maybe you underestimated Newt, just a little.

*****

Thanks for reading!

Also here’s the tag you asked for @ladytevans07

A Purr-ty Purr-fect Date

You couldn’t wait to see what Suga was going to surprise you with, being to drunk to remember the night you told them about your fantasies was worrying but oddly arousing. When he turned up at the door wearing an oversized black sweater and some black ripped you where a little confused, he looked gentle and cute but he wasn’t acting any particular way. You went along with it, him taking your hand which was then covered by his conveniently large sleeves making his hands appear more like paws. You tried your best to figure out the image he was trying to portray as you walked through the mall to your favourite coffee shop, Yoongi ordered two iced coffee’s and you sat on the couch nearest the window. 

You two chatted for a while, as he kept the gentle image he was showing. You where used to Yoongi being more of a bad boy than a flower boy but you accepted the cutesy nature today. After the coffee Yoongi lead your way passed different shops until you came to the pet store. “Yoongi why are we here? I don’t have any pets” You looked at him confused. “You need to pick a collar for your kitten” He smirked as he winked, grabbing your hand and leading you inside. You received an enthusiastic hello from the girl at the desk, as you made your way to the section for the biggest collars. 

You looked through them all when you came across a silk black collar with a bell in the centre, there was one laying on the shelf to try on your pets and it surprisingly fit Yoongi’s neck so you picked the cute black lead to match then made your way to the cash register. “Awh what’s your little guy like then?” The girl at the desk asked making conversation. “Oh ya know, he’s black and super fluffy and cute” You said as you looked over at Suga who was currently fluffing up and fixing his hair. “Sounds adorable!” she said joyfully, “Yeah he’s pretty cute!” You said smiling, if only she knew who the collar was for. As you walked hand in hand back to the car, you felt a heat burning in your stomach. 

When you got home you told Suga that you where going to change into something a little more comfortable, his reply was short and simply “So am I, meet you in the bedroom?” He said with a cheeky smile. “Alright Yoongi, bedroom in 5 minutes.” You said as you rushed up to your wardrobe then to the bathroom. You changed into your black lace nighty and removed your hair from the bobble it was restricted in. 

When you walked into the bedroom you came to a halt when you saw yoongi in nothing but his black boxers, kneeling with his head down infront of him, on the bed, infant of him, the collar, lead and a pair of fluffy black cat ears to be clipped into his hair. You stood for a second before proceeding to sit infant of him on the bed, you put your hand under his chin and tilted his face up, allowing him to sit up. You took the first cat ear, telling him to lean forward a little. You slid it into his fluffy hair before doing the same with the other one, making sure they where straight. 

You then took the collar, going behind him and placing it round his neck, tightening it so that there was only a slight restriction in his breathing, something about breath play was a massive turn on for you. You then took the lead and clipped it onto the collar, before going back to sitting infront of him. You tugged the lead sharply towards your face, bringing Yoongi’s lips to yours. He cheekily flicked his tongue over your bottom lip, you put one of your hands behind his head and pulled on his hair slighty, he moaned from the tingling sensation. “Are you going to be a good kitty for me?” You asked tilting your head to the side, he nodded giving you a pleading look in his eyes. “Good boy” You spoke again, bringing him into a kiss, you taking over and exploring his mouth. You don’t tend to enjoy being dominant but having a kitty to play with how could you resist. 

You made him lay back on the bed, removing his boxers, before you kissed from neck, to his collar bones, leaving bite marks, you followed all the way down to his abdomen, where you stopped. You took the lead, running the velvet strap over his sensitive member, his eyes closed and his legs began to shake at the sensation, his moans where quiet and sounded more like whimpers, he was yours and he knew that he had no power to stop your teasing. “Whats wrong kitten?” You asked condescendingly. “I wanna taste your milk mummy” He spoke, “Alright kitten, I think I can allow that” You said.

 You kneeled with one leg on either side of his face, his lush plump lips and rosé tongue only millimetres away from your women hood. “Okay kitty, be good” You said ruffling his hair slightly before lowering yourself close enough for his mouth to reach you. He started off with kitten licks, back and forth making sure to tease your clit, your eyes closed, a small moan leaving your lips. before he slid his tongue began to move fast, dipping in and out of you at an ungodly pace, your moans began to get louder and he began to use his teeth to pinch at your clit. You unknowingly began riding his face as his tongue continues to work until you come undone at the work of his mouth, his kitten licks clean up all of your juices (his milk) then you dismount. 

“Such a good boy Kitty” you said as you caress his face, now lets give you a little reward shall we? You said as you climbed over his abdomen, slowly sliding onto his member as you both moan out in pleasure, you go slow at first, teasing him as you trace patterns on his chest with the silk lead, as you get paster he begins to beg “please mummy, I need you” you nod, “I know kitten you do kitten, soon” you said. You began to get faster and faster, you could feel yourself getting closer and the shaking of Yoongi’s legs along with his eyes screwed shut and mouth open showed you he was close too, you got finally reached your high, Yoongi joining in at the same time as you pulled him up by the collar to kiss him. “That was amazing” he spoke out of breath, “I know kitten, you’re such a good boy” You said as you got off of him. 

You began moving up to undo the collar and unclip the lead, when you tried to remove the ears however, Suga pawed you away, “Its not often you get to cuddle a kitten mummy, come into the bed and join me” He said, taking your hand and pulling the soft duvet over you as you fell asleep stroking his soft hair and ears.

-END-