I can’t stop thinking about how if you’ve only seen the Les Mis musical, you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between real subplots in the Brick and fanfiction….Because the Brick’s actual real subplots sound exactly like fanfiction
I mean this “fanfiction” is actually a canon book subplot:
Javert and Marius team up buddy-cop style to take down a deadly gang of criminals who are planning to ambush Jean Valjean.
Marius very predictably screws everything up (because he’s a DORK why did Javert give him a gun?? Why did he give him two guns?????) So Javert has to save the day practically single-handedly. He does this by making snarky comments and saying badass one-liners until this armed and deadly gang is so afraid of him that they just lay down all their weapons without putting up a fight.
Valjean escapes in the confusion (to Javert’s extreme disappointment) but all of the gang is arrested….with the exception of Montparnasse, because he’d ditched his lookout duties to flirt with Eponine.
The next morning Javert goes to Marius’s house to tell him How Much He Screwed Up. He arrives to find that Marius isn’t there…. because he’s literally packed all his bags and moved houses to avoid talking to Javert again.
Javert isn’t really surprised. You kinda get the feeling that things like this must happen to Javert a lot
Roses are red, that much is true, but violets are purple, not fucking blue.
I have been waiting for this all my life
They are indeed purple,but one thing you've missed: the concept of "purple" didn't always exist. Some cultures lack names for a color, you see. Hence good old Homer, and his "wine-dark sea." A usage so quaint, a phrasing so old, for verses of romance is sheer fucking gold. So roses are red. Violets once were called blue. I'm hugely pedantic; but what else is new?
Archenland, officially the Kingdom of Archenland, was a mountainous country situated south of the Kingdom of Narnia and north of the Calormene Empire. Along with Narnia and other dominions, Archenland constituted part of the larger Narnian Empire. The seat of government was at Anvard, in the heart of the country. Anvard, the name of the castle, also gave the name to the city, which was the Kingdom’s capital and only known populated area.
I'm still waiting for Hollywood to make an Octavia Spencer and Chris Evans romcom that the universe desperately needs.
YOU MAKE FUNNY JOKES BUT I’VE LITERALLY WRITTEN THE SCREENPLAY ALREADY*
Although to be fair mine is not a romcom but more a fantasy adventure where Esterlynne (played by Octavia Spencer), a divorced mother of two, is ACCOSTED BY RUFFIANS while coming home from work; they start shouting and calling her Hope (and like, trying to super murder her to death). And at first she’s like “??????????” along with “!!!!!!” but the first once comes at her and she
kills him dead.
Which is a MAJOR SURPRISE TO HER because she took some tai chi classes at the Y a few years ago and her daughter is a green belt in karate but like, she does not know how to Fight, much less Kill People Dead. But the dude is at her feet with a broken neck and then ANOTHER one of the ruffians comes at her and she
kills HER dead
So there’s a lot of “??????????” and “!!!!!!” as she continues to fight these ruffians, and in fact after the first two she manages not to kill anyone else (like this scene features her saying things like “no let’s not break his – well, okay, break his knee that’s fine” because life is about loving what your body is and what it can do, right, that’s what all those magazines say, and if your body can be a Death Machine Of Fightiness then like, maybe you just need to accept that??)
Eventually there’s only one ruffian left standing and she kind of sneers at Esterlynne and says “You thought you could hide forever, Hope. But the stars will always find you.“ And she disappears in a puff of fucking smoke and Esterlynne doesn’t have much energy to do more than mutter, "What the fuuuuuuuuuck, also hi my name isn’t fucking Hope jackass.”
She’s all set to call 911 even though like, she’s got some Reservations about the wisdom of doing that, and in fact she’s debating it when a car comes screeching down the alley, conveniently hitting a ruffian who was trying to get a shot off at Esterlynne. And she promptly runs the fuck away because like, helpfully murderous vehicles aside, she has already had a tough night and she doesn’t need to get involved in a hit and run on top of everything else. Only the car stops and out steps a tall dude who looks like every lantern-jawed nightmare Esterlynne’s ever met.
And he looks around at the carnage and then at her and he smiles, which is probably the freakiest thing that’s happened so far. “Hello, Hope.”
So there’s a chase scene which should last about 3 seconds only it turns out Esterlynne is running? Really?? Fast??? And like this is also the 8 square blocks she knows best in the world so she can dodge and weave etc (especially humorous since her neighbors are gonna be like “when did you take up jogging — no okay that’s sprinting, what the hell,” as she bolts past) and the thing is that none of her neighbors seem to see Lantern-Jawed Nightmare Dude; like he slips past them and he’s a VERY CONSPICUOUS WHITE MAN IN A TRENCH COAT, OKAY, but they’re all just “Oh Esterlynne, probably forgot to pick up her kids from soccer” while she’s running for her life.
And she gets to her apartment complex and thinks she’s gotten away and she’s seriously out of breath and doing that thing you do (or at least I do) when you fantasize about the sweet release of death after you’ve gone running and she pushes the elevator button because you know what, yes she only lives on the third floor but she has EARNED the elevator today goddammit, and the doors open and
there’s Lantern-Jawed Nightmare, smiling at her.
So she goes, “Okay, you know what, FINE, whatever,” and gets in the elevator and glares at him. “I take it you know what button to push,” she says. “Even if you don’t know that my name isn’t goddamn Hope.”
“I know a lot of things,” LJN says, still smiling as he presses a button - okay, a button that definitely wasn’t there the last time she rode the elevator. “Including the fact that you are, in fact, our last hope.”
And when the elevator doors open - well, it’s definitely not the third floor.
“Hell no. Not happening — fucking ever. Not in your wildest dreams, princess.”
His response was immediate as you made your way down the hallway with the costume in hand. The look on his face as he realized the certain… entity that you were holding was beyond
priceless. It was of course the exact reaction that you had been expecting. His
brows furrowed while his top lip curled in disgust, the physically aversive
response to something as simple as a Halloween costume only causing your
amusement to run thicker. No, not even your boyfriend’s harsh refusal could
deter your mood, or your powers of persuasion for that matter.
“Oh, is that so?” You replied to Jimin, your brow arched in
a way that told him how so far from over this conversation was. “I seem to
remember that a certain someone lost a bet to me a few weeks ago? Remember that
game of poker? The deal was—”
“—This is what you
want to use your win from that on? Baby, c’mon anything else. You’re not this
evil, I know you aren’t… Are you?” He was pleading a little, his bottom lip
jutting out to try and tug at your heartstrings. Admittedly you felt a tiny
pull, but it was quickly overtaken by the image of Jimin wearing the costume
that was still dangling from the hanger in your hand.
Your mouth curved into a sultry smile as you made your way closer
to him. He was sitting down on the living room couch, a look of despair
flooding his eyes as he realized that there was no way in hell that you were
backing down from this. You sat the costume onto the open space next to Jimin,
his reaction a harsh flare of his nose. However, the tension soon dropped as
you went to straddle his lap, your hands swiftly moving to take their place on
either side of his face.
“You know, I really
thought that a demon would be a lot better at a game all about lying and