is now flirting with you

Jack Zimmermann Is Not Good At Flirting

Shitty: Okay, so your crushing on Bits, now what are you gonna do about it?

Jack: I’ve given this a lot of thought and I think I’m going to seduce him with my superior athletic skill 

Shitty:

Jack:

Shitty: Thats the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.

Jack: How dare you! I have an elaborate three pronged plan! I made a binder! *hands shitty the binder*

Shitty: Step one find bittle….step two seduce Bittle with my superior athletic skill….Step three…Jack does that say marriage? 

Jack: I needed a third prong…it’s a three prong plan…I’m not going to go after Bittle with a Two pronged plan Shitty thats just embarrassing. 

Shitty: You wrote Mr. Jack Bittle in the margins…

Jack: Oh I’m sorry, would you rather I make Bittle change his name? And what Shits? make our son grow up Rocket Gretsky Zimmermann I don’t think so. 

Shitty: Wait I’m sorry…you have your children names picked out…and you chose Rocket Gretsky? You know it’s guys like you that make me call myself Shitty.

Jack: Like the hockey players? also if you say it fast it sounds like Rocket Jetski which is just a cool bonus. 

Shitty: Oh yeah I’ll bet Bitty will love that. 

Jack: Yea-ohmygod! what am I gonna call Bittle when we get married? Should I start calling him Eric just to test it out?

Shitty: Uh…Okay well how about instead of marriage…you could just try coffee? 

Jack:  but how will I fit in the seducing? 

Shitty: I’m really not understanding how the seducing would work…I mean are you gonna like give him a lap dance or-

Jack: No! I’m just gonna like *waves hands around* you know jump and run and stuff…like just general…athletic things…until you know…stuff happens…

Shitty: Are you just naturally bad at this, or are you so beautiful you’ve never had to try before?

Jack: Bit of column A, bit of column B

Shitty: This isn’t going to work. 

Jack: Take that Shitty 

Bitty: What? 

Jack: Eat more protein…Eric. 

Bitty:

9

just two guys….bonding… i can’t believe this is my first contribution to this amazing show…

2

@RachelWhiter if the genders were swapped, who’d you choose to play usnavi??

@Lin_Manuel Oh, @HereIsGina would be DOPE.

off limits | 01 (m)

pairing: kim seokjin x reader
genre/warnings: smut, dirty talk, dom! Jin, just dirty, dirty sex that my heart can’t take
words: 11,158
summary: you’ve been lusting after your brother’s best friend for a while now, ever since you met him at a house party, flirting it up a storm as you failed to realise who the other was. That was months ago now and things are still awkward, but you can’t ignore the sexual tension that’s simmers between the two of you…and it keeps getting worse…
note. the first of my requests!

» playlist | 01 |

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i just remembered one of the first vividly gay moments i had back in highschool when i was in denial. i was friends with two girls who were dating and one of them made the other cry for some reason all the time like all the time. and i was always trying to comfort the one who was crying. and one day i had the thought “i wouldn’t treat you like this.”

and my het™ oriented mind immediately rejected that thought like “too bad she’s a GIRL so you wouldn’t be dating her IN THE FIRST PLACE b/c YOU’RE TOTALLY STRAIGHT.”

OTP Prompts- Family Edition

“You’re my landlord, and sometimes you come into my house and do repairs without warning me. Today, I came home to find you at my kitchen table, talking with my mother, who I totally didn’t realize was in town. Lovely, now she thinks we’re dating.” Au.

“My father has talked about a co-worker quite a bit, but I thought you were around his age, not… My age. And attractive. But I was very wrong.” Au

“I’m at a family reunion, and I’m pretty sure I’ve never seen you before, but I have a big family, so I’m not too worried about it. Only, now you’re flirting with me, and THAT concerns me a little. Oh, you’re just my cousin’s best friend? By all means, continue.” Au

“You’re my neighbor, and I have a huge crush on you. I’ve managed to keep it hidden, but you came over while I was babysitting my little sister, and she told you I loved you. Well, this is awkward.” Au

“This is really cliché, but you’re my brother’s best friend, and I’m always hanging out with him just to spend time with you. I’m pretty sure he’s told you how I feel, but you’re still nice to me, and that really isn’t helping my crush.” Au

“My aunt keeps setting me up on blind dates, and you’re apparently going to be my latest disaster.” Au
Alt. “My aunt keeps setting me up on blind dates. Will you pretend to be my S/O? I don’t think I can handle another disaster.” Au

“My parents and yours have been best friends forever, and they’ve always assumed we would get married. We made a pact when we were kids that we never would, just to spite them, but now… I think I really like you. A lot. Please don’t hate me.” Au

3

Danny and Lula!

Flirting (Part 1 of the Relationship Mini-Series)

Summary: You and Bucky have been staring at each other all night - but do either of you have the guts to flirt up close?

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: ~1700

Warnings: Language, hotness, probably crappy writing/pick up lines. 

Based off of a list of prompts: “MY FRIENDS TOLD ME TO FLIRT WITH YOU BECAUSE I THOUGHT YOU WERE PRETTY BUT YOU FLIRTED BACK AND NOW I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO OH MY GOD MY HANDS ARE SWEATING” 

A/N: Here’s a shot at a one shot. I guess let me know if someone wants a second part?? Maybe?? I dunno, I wanted to post SOMETHING for you all since I’m currently stuck on my new series. Hope this helps the wait.

Tags: @hymnofthevalkyries @xenaathena @andhiseyesweregreen @lilasiannerd @pandarosita @heismyhunter @ailynalonso15 @caplanbuckybarnes 

Originally posted by shades-of-universe

~~~~~~~~~

          It was a Friday night, and you were in the Avengers compound drinking and enjoying the company of everyone, especially that of one of your best friend, Natasha Romanoff. You two had become close friends after she had saved your life when you were in the wrong place at the wrong time. You were just an average, non-super person, but for some reason, you were currently in a room full of them, as well as some guests more like you. Stark was hosting some party (as usual), and so it was just an excuse for Nat to invite you to the compound for the first time to meet her coworkers. Her super coworkers.

         “Come on, you have to talk to them sometime,” she told you, taking a sip of her drink.

         You shrugged, following her lead. “I have, Nat. I talked to Wanda and Clint.”

        “You already know Clint, idiot. And Wanda is sweet to most everyone I introduce her to. They don’t count. I’m talking about one of them,” she said, spinning your body around to face the group of guys standing across the room. Of course, you recognized them all – Sam Wilson, Thor, Captain America himself…

        And the guy who kept looking at you at least every five minutes.

        You recognized him, too, of course – Bucky Barnes, ex-Winter Soldier and Steve’s best friend. He was standing in between Thor and Steve, drink in his hand, his hair pulled back in a loose bun. He was wearing dark jeans and a dark blue button down, and of course the sleeves were rolled up, revealing his forearms. His very nice forearms.

        As if he knew you were looking, his gaze turned to you again. When you made eye contact, he smirked softly at you, and you had to look away to hide your blush.

        “Exactly my point. Why don’t you go talk to one of them? Or, specifically, the one who’s been staring at you all night,” Nat suggested. You rolled your eyes.

        “Don’t be ridiculous, Nat,” you told her. “He’s probably staring at you, anyway. You look amazing.”

        That wouldn’t be a ridiculous idea – your friend, as always, looked incredibly hot, wearing a tight red dress that hugged every beautiful curve on her body. You had lost count at how many guys had looked at her since this party started.

         It was her turn to roll her eyes, and pointed down to your outfit. “And you don’t? Y/N, your boobs look fucking fantastic in that dress. As does your everything. I guarantee you, if you were to go over there and flirt a little, a certain super soldier with a metal arm wouldn’t know what to do with himself.”

         You tossed another glance to Bucky, and weighed your options here – you had never met him before, so you technically had nothing to lose, but at the same time this would be his first impression of you. Did you want to screw that up by failing at flirting with him?

         “All right, since you’re being difficult,” Nat sighed, setting her drink down, and stepping in front of you, blocking Bucky’s view of you. She moved your hair to one side, and proceeded to adjust the top of your dress to show off your boobs a bit more. You weren’t shocked or annoyed at her doing that – it was just her helping you out. “We’re doing a compromise. You’ll sit here, looking all hot, and I’ll get Bucky to come over here. Sound good?”

         “I think I’m going to vomit,” you muttered as she finished making you look perfect.

         “That’s just all your brilliant pick-up lines waiting to come out,” she said, and started heading over to the guys. “Good luck, hot stuff.”

         You took in a deep breath, and sat down at the bar, waiting.

Bucky’s POV

         Bucky knew almost immediately what Nat’s intentions were when she walked up to him.

         “Hey, boys,” she greeted warmly, easily gliding into their conversation.

         “Nat,” Bucky greeted, and once again turned his gaze to you. The idea of talking to you seemed even better, he had to admit, as you were now seated alone at the bar, still looking incredibly beautiful.

         “Sam, I thought I saw that cute girl from S.H.I.E.L.D. earlier – Becca?” Nat brought up. “I think she was talking to Rhodey.”

         He perked up at the thought of talking to Becca – he’d had his eyes set on her for a while. “Well, I’d stay and chat, but… I’d rather talk to a beautiful woman than you old farts.”

         Steve laughed as Sam practically jogged away.

         Nat began making small talk with Steve and Thor, and before Bucky realized it, Steve and Thor were off in search of the Asgardian mead stored in the compound. That left just him and Nat.

         “I already know what you’re going to say, Nat,” Bucky sighed as he downed the rest of his drink, pouring himself another.

         Nat smiled at him. “Then why are you still here? Hop to it, Buckaroo.”

         He turned to look at her, letting out a sigh. “She’s… she’s probably not interested in someone like me.”

         Nat shook her head. “Oh, definitely not. She’s just been staring at you back the whole night, and definitely isn’t waiting at the bar specifically for your dumb ass to go and talk to her.”

         Bucky rolled his eyes. Sure, he thought you were beautiful, and he loved the way your smile practically lit up the room, how you crinkled your nose a bit when you laughed. And he didn’t even know you – how could he like you that much already?

         “Well, she’s out of luck. I don’t see why you’d think I’d like to talk to her,” Bucky replied smoothly.

         Nat put her hands on her hips, her smile turning somehow even more devious.

         “Really? Then if you don’t feel anything, just go flirt with her. I mean, it’s just flirting, right? Anyone can do that,” Nat challenged, knowing she’d caught Bucky in his own stupidity.

         Bucky planned on just ignoring Nat, but he’d never hear the end of it, so he downed the rest of his drink, rolled his shoulders, and headed over to the bar.

         You can do this, he thought to himself. I mean, it’s only been about 70 years since you last flirted, but… it can’t be that hard, right?

         He stepped up to the bar beside you, leaning casually against it on his left arm, looking to the bartender. “Two whiskeys, please.” He turned to smile at you. “Figured a girl like you would have a bunch of guys buying her drinks – surprised I’m the only one here now.”

         Not the worst line you could have said, Buck. Keep it up.

         You turned to smile coyly at him, and holy shit, had he not been leaning against the bar his knees would have buckled from seeing your beautiful smile up close. “Well, maybe, but I only let attractive guys buy me drinks.”

         Bucky opened his mouth to respond with a flirtatious comment of his own, but stopped in his tracks when what you said finally hit him – were you flirting back? It took him a moment for his brain to restart so he could put a sentence together.

          “Well, then, I’m flattered, doll,” he said as the bartender handed him the drinks. You took the drink from him, letting your hand brush just slightly against Bucky’s as you did so, and took a drink.

         “Then my plan is working well,” you said, looking him over briefly, making sure he saw you paying attention to his left arm.

         Bucky nearly choked on his drink. He had stupidly thought that flirting with you might be easy, as he was banking on his previous days as a ladies’ man to come back to help him, and the fact that this was only the first time meeting you, but that all went south the moment you opened your gorgeous mouth and flirted back. As he set his drink down, he noticed he had to keep a tighter grip on it to keep it from falling.

         Oh my God, my hand is sweating. I’m actually sweating. What the actual hell is wrong with you? You can risk your life every day and get shot at but you can’t talk to a girl without sweating? Get it together, Bucky! Bucky knew he had to respond to you, but he didn’t exactly know how – you had, once again, caused his brain to shut down for a bit. Fuck, what do I do? I’m freaking out she’s going to think I’m weird oh God she’s going to laugh in my face I’m screwed –

         “Hey,” your voice broke Bucky out of his train of thought. He turned nervously to look at you, and you were smiling softly up at him. It took him a while to notice that your hand was rested on his metal arm – and he loved it. “You okay?”

         At first, Bucky planned on just playing off his freak out, but with the sweet, concerned way you were looking up at him practically melted him and he sighed, hitting his forehead on his arm a few times before looking up at you.

         “Yeah. Sorry. I just… I’m not used to this anymore. And you’re just so gorgeous, and you seem so nice, and I thought I could pull off flirting with you,” he admitted. For a moment, you were silent, and Bucky was about to give up when you giggled slightly, turning his attention back to you.

         “Oh, thank God,” you sighed in relief. “I feel the same way. I suck at flirting – only reason I did was because I wanted to impress you, although that never works for me.”

         Bucky raised an eyebrow. “I wouldn’t be too sure about that, doll.”

         He saw you repressing your smile at that one, and you reached over, punching his arm lightly. “Hey. I thought you said you sucked at flirting. That said otherwise.”

         “And you said you wanted to impress me,” Bucky said, smirking. “Do you think you’ve done that, yet?”

         You smiled, taking another sip of your drink. “Well, the night’s not over, you know.”

         I’m doomed, Bucky thought.

3

You held Sam’s eyes just a moment before ducking your head with a quick, bursting laugh.

“Wow. That’s a pretty good line,” you said, challenging him, waiting for him to laugh too, to make it all one of your inside jokes that Dean would roll his eyes at later. 

When Sam said nothing though, you looked up again. He had a soft smile on his face but those eyes of his, intently fixed on you, were nothing but sincere. You blushed deeply.

“Wait. Was that a line?” you demanded in a half-whisper, leaning forward. 

“A pretty good one, according to you,” Sam said.

“But…what? You’re flirting with me?”

Now Sam laughed, deep and rich, giving a small shake of his head and pulling his teeth to graze over his bottom lip. You watched all of this with your heart in your throat, waiting for his answer. 

“Have been for the past year,” he said. “But thanks for noticing.”

x

More imagines!

thetattooonyourshoulder  asked:

I finished Origins about an hour ago, and honestly your art is the only thing that's keeping me going now. Your warden is ADORABLE, she's such a little squish! I wonder, how does she handle it when Leliana or Zevran get flirty? She seems pretty gone on Alistair, not that I blame her.

hero of ferelden, defeater of the archdemon, brave leader of the wardens

  • Higanbana Waitress: So you're a Hunter? Wow, I bet you work out a lot.
  • Qrow: I get a few sessions in the gym here and there.
  • Ironwood: Qrow, you're as scrawny as your namesake.
  • Qrow: Ah, don't listen to him. He's just grouchy because I'm getting all the attention.
  • Ironwood: This is meant to be a date!
  • Higanbana Waitress: It is?!
  • Qrow: Oh come off it, luv, no use pretending now. Before you got here James, I asked her to flirt with me to make you jealous.
  • Ironwood: ....Taiyang owes me five lien.
3

“You didn’t have to flirt with him!” Raphael’s words came out of nowhere.
You hadn’t flirted with anybody, just listened to the other vampire’s offers before declining them friendly.

“What?”, was all you asked back, as you didn’t get what his problem was.
But he only looked angry at you, his jaw tensed up 

“Oh that is how you want to play? Coming up with something stupid like that and now playing the hurt child? You know what? I haven’t flirted with anybody and I have no reason to apologize. If you can’t trust me, it’s your problem, not mine.”

Well that clearly got his attention. His anger seemed to be gone from one second to the other, but yours wasn’t.
So you didn’t even give him a chance for apologizing by leaving the room and leaving him behind. 


requested by anon


You can find all my Imagines|Confessions here
Requests for Imagines|Confessions are open. Send me some ^^

Finn: Luke said he wouldn’t teach you? 

Rey: Actually, he didn’t say anything. We were just staying there and staring at each other until it became embarrassing. And then I left.

Finn:  What are you going to do now?

Rey: I may flirt with the dark side.

Finn: You mean… Mr. Dark Side? Nonono, Rey, that’s terrible idea. 

Rey: Yeah, that might scare him.