1. Life will break you down until you’re crawling on your hands and knees, until you feel like you are Atlas holding the world upon your shoulders, until you feel like the raging inferno inside of your chest is going to combust. These are the moments that will forge you in a fire and make you more unbreakable than diamonds.
2. We are made of stardust, at least that’s what they say. I remember someone told me that every atom in my body once belonged to a star that exploded. At night I stare at my hands and wonder when I will erupt. I know now that I cannot trust anyone else to keep me whole in the darkest hours of the night but my own two star infused arms.
3. You will fall in love, and that is okay. Sometimes we need to fall in love to remember that there is good out there. Fall in love with the boy who opens the door for you, fall in love with your boss who works too hard, fall in love with the woman who hands out roses on that one street corner, fall in love with yourself.
4. They weren’t lying when they said we accept the love we think we deserve. I grew up being told I was a mistake and so I adopted the idea that no one could ever love a mistake. I was wrong (they were wrong) and now it’s up to me to prove them wrong. Don’t believe the things they said, you are so much more than the toxins they tried to poison you with.
5. Close your eyes, count to ten, and open them again. You are not alone. I know it may feel like you are the only one, but believe me when I say that you aren’t. I was where you are, and now I have talked to more people that have been through much worse than I than I would like to admit to. You are never alone, not really.
6. Music can save. Play it as loud as you can with the windows down as you drive (probably a little too fast). Play it while you are at work and while you are in the shower and play it when you want to give up in the middle of the day and when you want to give up in the middle of the night. Just play the music that tugs at your heartstrings, it may save you.
7. Nothing in life is easy, not really. You will catch a few breaks here and there, but the rest of the time you will find yourself fighting tooth and nail to make it back to the top. Don’t give up, I almost did this year and if I had I wouldn’t be able to witness what the sun looks like shining in her eyes.
8. You will have scars, and that’s fine. We all have them but it’s up to you if you want to hide them or show your battle wounds to the world so they know how strong of a warrior you are, so they know not to fuck with you.
9. Watch the sunrise, and watch the sunset. There is something about the sun that screams life; let the light bleed into you and consume you until you shine with it. Sometimes it’s the simple things we are missing in life that we need the most.
10. They will say they love you and then they will turn around and break your heart. You cannot compare your life’s worth to the empty spaces that were once filled around you. People will leave (willing or not) and life will go on. Let life go on.
11. If you are under the impression you are broken, then it is up to you to decide if you are or not. It took me years to admit that I was never quite whole, but when I did it was the most freeing feeling ever. Brokenness does not take away from perfection, and you are the very definition of perfect.
12. It’s okay to let people in, you don’t need to cage yourself away from the rest of the world, don’t forget to live your life while you pursue safeness.
13. Hobbies will save you when all else fails you, find a hobby and stick to it. When the world feels all too loud, a hobby can make you go deaf.
14. The moment you realize Wonder Woman or any other superhero you idolized as a child is not going to swoop down and save you is when your life changes. You have to be your own hero in this world. Stop waiting for someone to save you and go save yourself.
15. They are gone, she took her own life and he died in a car crash and she died from cancer and he left. You cannot live your life counting how many people that held a piece of your heart vanished, I’m not saying to forget about them I’m just saying that it’s okay to say goodbye.
16. It’s okay to cry; cry in the shower and in bed and in your car, being sad is okay as long as you don’t let it consume you.
17. Smile as much as you can even on the bad days.
18. For God’s sake, don’t let them ruin you. You are so strong, you’ve made it this far and that means you can make it another day. If you can get through today you can get through tomorrow and every day that follows. If you feel like you can’t get through the day then sit down and don’t move until the light is peaking in through your window.
19. Never say never. If you think you can’t do something try anyway, this is your life, you are the main character of your own story, but you are also the author of your story. Write it however you want, but don’t give up halfway through.
20. Just don’t take your life. While this is something I learned this year I’m also writing this as a reminder to myself and to you. Don’t do it, please. There can be more to life then what you are feeling right now, don’t rob yourself of the beauty of this world. Don’t give up, no matter how much it hurts.
An open letter to myself, and to you. (Sometimes I write until I run out of words) ALightLitInTheDark
I feel like I never play a huge role in anyone’s life. I’m easy to forget. Nothing special to hang onto. I understand that I’m not the best at anything really. It’s just depressing that people mean so much to me where I go out of my way to give them all the best in life then get casted away. I’ll never be prioritized by myself or by others.
-Unwanted & Unloved
“You know what bothers me?” He said as he frustratedly pulled at his sleeves.
She paused for short while before letting out a sigh. “Do I want to?” She replied.
He broke eye contact and began to stare at the wet grass beneath their feet,
“It bothers me how you sit and cry and you pour your heart out for someone who doesn’t even care enough to give you a second thought. Life isn’t easy, life is real and nothing that’s real has ever been easy. There are seven billion people on this planet and one day, he’ll just be another one of them.”
One day you’ll be ok.
// excerpt of a book I’ll never write
1. 6,7,16 are Carbon, Nitrogen and Sulfur on the Periodic Table of Elements
2. If you plan to murder someone do it on a plane right before you land in a different country
3. What it means to be a rational thinker. And that being irrational sometimes is ok
4. There is such a thing as fate
5. Everything happens eventually. But nothing happens unless first a dream
6. There’s more than one kind of family
7. How to get someone off on murder charges
8. The definition of true friendship
9. 246 ways how NOT to kill someone, because you will get caught
10. When “the” is not the first word in the episode title, shits about to get real (ie Aliens in a Spaceship)
11. The skeletal system is the best part of the human body
12. A million little facts curtesy of Vincent Nigel Murray
13. All the words to Hot Blooded
14. Nothing good happens when the clock says 4:47
15. Everyone deserves happiness, love, laughter, friendship, purpose, and a dance
16. Very few people are scary once they have been poked in the eyes
17. Don’t ramble on and on about conspiracy theories. You never know who is really listening to you and what they might do with that information
18. People do almost anything for family (even murdering the deputy director of the FBI)
19. To appreciate Brainy Smurf
20. Never trust a Russian knife throwing act in the circus
21. You can buy weapons at the mall. But wanting a gun for the sole reason of shooting people is not a good enough reason
22. The plot to strangers on a train
23. How to save someone with compartment syndrome
24. How to make a carbon dioxide scrubber
25. If you start hallucinating cartoon characters and dead soldiers you probably have a brain tumor
26. To search for the truth even if it leads to unwanted results
27. Chasing someone may be the smartest decision you ever make and being chased may be your greatest joy
28. Diplomatic immunity is extremely inconvenient
29. Even scientists can change (and we are all glad she did)
30. To fight. Even when the odds are stacked against you
31. Sometimes you just have to dance to the music that’s playing
32. 1 Corinthians 13:4
33. We can’t change who we are (but thankfully he’s a sexy FBI agent)
34. To not be distracted by the shiny baubles, because you might miss what really matters
35. People make their lives out of chaos and hope. And love.
36. The center has to be solid because the center must hold
37. Daffodil, Daisy, and Jupiter will always hold a special meaning
38. Sometimes you have to take the brain and put it in neutral. Then take the heart and pop it into overdrive
39. There is someone for everyone, someone you’re meant to spend the rest of your life with. You just have to be open enough to see it
40. Sarcasm does not play well on the forensic platform
41. Any lock worth picking is worth kicking
42. There are mysteries I will never understand but everywhere I look I see proof that for every effect there is a corresponding cause
43. Sometimes we have to have the ability to substitute optimism for reality
44. Try to get the signal before you are living with regrets (because we are all glad she did!)
45. That doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results is the definition of insanity
46. That people are more than just psychology
47. To find someone who makes your life messy, and confusing, and unfocused, and irrational, and wonderful
48. Go to the company Christmas party; because friends don’t let friends photocopy their butts at company Christmas parties
49. To appreciate Christmas Eve day. It’s both an Eve and a day, it’s a Christmas miracle
50. That there are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in science
51. To find that person who will never make you fall and who will always be there
52. Be respectful of others. You never know what scars they carry on their back. Metaphorically or literally.
53. Life is a lot more than what can be cooked up in a chemistry set. Miracles do happen.
54. Phylogenetic Systematics
55. Always play in the key of G demolished.
56. To not jump to conclusions until all the evidence is in
57. If your world gets turned upside down, give it time, it takes three days for it to turn right side up again
58. That there are burdens which allow us to fly
59. We all share in the loss of a life. No matter who it is.
60. Glug-Glug Woo-hoo!
61. Ergo, ipso facto columbo oreo.
62. Beer from Missouri goes great with leftovers
63. Love changes everything
64. All the words to “Keep on Trying”
65. There is a mystery to life
66. That Wonder Woman is better than Cat Woman
67. WASP stands for White Anglo-Saxon Protestant (but we are really talking about the buzzing pest)
68. Booth is Superman (he beats up bad guys and leaps over things. Not to mention he is married to Wonder Woman)
69. All organisms evolve and develop along patterns only recognized in retrospect (and thank god her life didn’t exist outside the laws of nature)
70. Sometimes you have to have absolute faith in someone
71. All pigs are now named Jasper
72. Beer hats in the bathtub solve all problems
73. Having to hire two nannies (one to watch the kid and the other to watch the first nanny) isn’t crazy it just shows how much you care about your child
74. Sometimes it’s ok to let the ice cream melt
75. The garage is an excellent place to store C4
76. Hearts can’t be broken they can only be crushed. But her heart muscle is bigger than people give her credit for
77. Inertia demands us to keep going
78. The washing machine makes for a great make out location
79. That he’s with Bones. All the way. Don’t doubt it for a second. Because she’s his standard.
80. Sometimes you have to be bad to be good. That way your frontal lobe won’t be a dried up raisin.
81. What goes on between them is just theirs
82. Shooting machine guns is a totally acceptable way to celebrate valentines day.
83. Dancing Phalanges
84. Everyone deserves a knight in standard issue FBI body armor.
85. A rubber band is a great anger management tool
86. Sometimes you have to have the guts of a gambler and take that risk.
87. Don’t judge someone before you get to know them because she’s not a cold fish and he’s not a superstitious moron. She has a soul and he has a brain
88. That it’s illegal to have premarital sex in Virginia (but that didn’t stop them)
89. When you eliminate the possible, you are left with the truth, no matter how improbable.
90. That being the best doesn’t mean being perfect
91. That a stand up crook is better than a crooked cop. Any day of the week.
92. That when two people make love they break the laws of physics, they become one. It’s a miracle.
93. That pigs in a blanket and Mac n Cheese are gods perfect food
94. Sometimes the best gift you could give someone is not a material item. (We are all glad of the gift she gave to Zach)
95. No changies. No take backs.
96. Your gut doesn’t have any special powers but listening to it every once in a while is a good idea.
97. Sequences and patterns will continue until something disrupts the pattern.
98. Everyone has a puckish side that will not be denied.
99. Up and forward are only two directions. Science should look in all directions. (She taught us all that)
100. That everyone deserves a love that is more than just 3 weeks a year
101. To never travel to New Orleans alone.
102. That the swings make for the perfect first date location.
103. How not to act at a funeral (unless translation has occurred)
104. To learn to not fight to change the past. The pain is a part of who we are.
105. That life never comes easy. But nothing of value is ever easy.
106. To never skip snack time. Or meals. Or food in general.
107. That “The Lime in the Coconut” will hold a special place in all our hearts. Because that was his jam.
108. To find that one person who will never betray you.
109. Page 187.
110. That having a high IQ is no excuse not to bathe.
111. That friends never send friends’ fathers to the electric chair.
112. To never underestimate criminals with only one leg
113. That sometimes people don’t need time and space. Just some time.
114. That there’s nothing wrong with living in the moment; but it’s good to see what the future holds
115. That infinity goes in both directions. So we all will get a second chance
116. To dive into life, be courageous. Question things. Be happy. And don’t forget to laugh
117. That sometimes, love trumps logic.
118. To love everyday.
119. To never take life for granted. There are no guarantees.
120. That people lie; but bones always tell the truth
121. That loving someone, and everything around it, is worth it.
122. That there’s nothing more important than having hope.
123. Meatball and peppers make the perfect sandwich.
124. That addiction is a lifelong battle.
125. Always tell your partner that you aren’t really dead, you just had to fake your death to catch the bad guy
126. Don’t sleep with your college professors. They may get jealous when the student surpasses the teacher.
127. How to make the best Mac n cheese (so good he wants to be alone with it).
128. That you may choose to part with old items but you will never part with the memories you created with them.
129. That the world is a lot better than we think it is.
130. Every once in awhile Pinky can stump The Brain.
131. That there is such a thing as beginners luck.
132. To take a ride on the vomet comet.
133. That babies need grills.
134. Blackmailing a federal agent, while not recommended, seemed to work out for both parties in this situation
135. That if you end up being the parent to the best car salesman (or woman) that’s ok.
136. That it is totally worth it to have your own happiness completely contingent on another person.
137. That if you keep living trying to protect yourself, nothing is ever going to touch you.
138. To give yourself a chance to be happy. Even if that means moving on.
139. That my heart isn’t someone’s to claim, it’s mine to give away
140. That character is who we are under pressure; not who you are when everything’s fine.
141. That just because something’s difficult, doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t do it.
142. That no matter the anthropological reasons, we fight to make the world a better place.
143. Don’t touch the bobble head Bobby
144. All the different reasons the FBI is given jurisdiction in a murder investigation
145. Sometimes you just have to flash your boobs to get information
146. To stand up and defend your friends.
147. That aliens don’t wear loafers.
148. That things don’t always end up as neatly as we wanted them too.
149. That we are all born unique and our experiences mold and change us.
150. You can be a polymath without being a douche.
151. That Pluto’s no longer a planet. It was demoted.
152. To leave life having given more than you’ve taken.
153. That love cannot be explained. It is beyond science, or religion. Beyond mind, or reason.
154. If you don’t have a gun, an app will work just fine.
155. That you don’t always get to pick your nicknames.
156. That living with a disability is not by any means a death sentence.
157. That it’s ok to plan your own surprise birthday party.
158. To expect the unexpected. It might lead to the greatest parts of your life.
159. Never turn down the chance to conduct a science experiment.
160. That purple elephants are wrong.
161. That his “charm smile” is just a sign of respect.
163. That Kansas gets boring after awhile.
164. That someone in your corner makes all the difference.
165. To never light cigarettes in an outhouse
166. The most beautiful things in the world are sunsets, the Mona Lisa and a perfectly thrown spiral.
167. Do NOT piss off your boss. If there’s a spider infestation just take care of it.
168. To take a ceramics class every once in a while.
169. Never pay for a plumber. Just get a “For Dummies” book and you’re all set.
170. That partners don’t say “forget it”
171. That you’re never too old to laugh at “boner”
172. That “the man” buys all the office furniture.
173. That he was right, bones really are the heart of the matter.
174. To enjoy a ceramics class every once and a while.
175. To always swim with a buddy.
176. The definition of a philistine, and luddite
177. To never steal evidence from a murder victims house.
178. That sometimes the relationship that didn’t work out leads you to the one that does.
179. That parents do a lot of crazy things just because they love their children.
180. That you can’t just kill Agent Andy.
181. That they were never just partners.
182. The difference between being impervious and being strong.
183. That we each learn to survive in our own way.
184. Norwegian death metal
185. To appreciate the magic of the Egyptian room
186. That he will always be King of the Lab. Even if he’s the only one who cares.
187. Diner eggs are simple magic.
188. Nunchucks are not toys. Seriously.
189. That your brain cannot digest breakfast burritos.
190. Never shoot an ice cream truck (even if you do offer to replace the clown).
191. To always respect the cocky belt buckle.
192. To never trust a washed up army fighter
193. To go to prom.
194. That each squintern brought something special to the team. We could never just choose one.
195. To be weary of bank vaults.
196. That if you have no other plans, racing beetles on a Friday night is totally acceptable.
197. To never be afraid to find a new passion
198. To love your work. Life is too short not to
199. Even an empiricist can have a heart.
200. That the definition of being “stupid in love” is spending $3000 for a quarter ounce of perfume.
201. That in 30, or 40, or 50 years we can all say we knew. Right from the beginning
202. That life is really just a lot of loose ends.
203. As long as a person has enough, they don’t need more.
204. To never be ashamed of where you came from.
205. That happiness comes from what you already have.
206. That wanting things to work and making things work are two different things.
207. To never stop being yourself.
208. That if he flies to New Orleans just to make sure you’re ok, you’re not just partners
209. To appreciate Alfred Hitchcock movies
210. Never try to fit stadium seats into an elevator during a blizzard.
211. To give a piece of yourself every once in a while.
212. That getting blown up may just be a part of the job description.
213. To appreciate hospital pudding.
214. The wedding was worth the wait.
215. To appreciate Cyndi Lauper
216. Setting up a rescue at the airport is an acceptable way to get back on someone’s good side
217. Female friendships before male romantic partners
218. That we are not our parents.
219. To watch out for serial killers on Craig’s list
220. To go to the Louvre.
221. That we can’t always save our siblings from everything.
222. Sometimes it’s ok to lie your ass off to the FBI
223. The only acceptable reason to leave the hospital AMA is to save your “partner”
224. To always wear a mask when cutting into bone.
225. That life works out.
226. That 306 pages for a will is not at all excessive.
227. To let someone else drive in London.
228. That life is hard and painful, but we fight together.
229. That your boss can’t be your lovely assistant.
230. That stuffed animals make great baby gifts
231. That nothing brings people together like a Christmas lung fungus.
232. Be weary of someone who takes New York action
234. A jail cell can be a perfect place for a wedding.
235. Never route against the Flyers.
236. To go to the museum more often. You never know who you’ll find
237. The best conversations happen in cars.
238. To appreciate colorful socks
239. That it takes all of us. Every single one.
240. To look forward to what ever happens next.
241. That it was worth the ride. Everything about it.
242. When the network moves you into every possible time slot it can only mean they love you.
243. To love.
244. That 12 years is a long time. And a lot of magic.
245. That it’s all about the cast.
246. To never doubt the little show that could.
So Season 12 is it; here’s to the last 12 years and to everything that happens next!
I’m 15 and I’ll be studying astronomy in a few years. I’m aiming for a PhD, but I don’t know if it is realistic. I am relatively good at math and physics, but I know that there are people who are much better at it than I am. I feel like I’m ‘average’ and getting a PhD seems like something I’ll have difficulties with. I do spend a lot of my spare time learning new things about the subject, but that’s it; I don’t usually come up with analogies and such. Do you think it’ll be that difficult?
Hello. Look…the first thing you should realize is that anything is possible, do not let anyone convince you to the contrary - including yourself!
Like I said before… ”Only those who really want to do it, who are ambitious and have a passion in their heart for astrophysics, can handle it. It is really hard to study, lots of math and physics. You really need to know basics to get on and on…It is a long-term progress…You need to invest a lot of your time, blood and tears… But with hard work, persistence, ambition and big heart there is no reason why you shouldn´t handle it…”
I don´t have any special talent for math or physics…it is all just a hard work…of course it would be much easier if I was talented and have some special gift, but life is never easy for those who dream… :) I believe in you, I know you can do it, I know you will handle it and you´ll get that PhD and anything else you dream of - that´s what you should tell yourself every morning :)
“Nothing is easy, and life can be extremely tough, but there’s always a yin to the yang, so to speak. It’s up to you to seek it out, embrace it, and live happily ever after. No matter how bad the hand you’ve been dealt may seem, there’s always a way to play it.”
Summary: After dating for almost 3 years, the armies and Yoongi’s label have found out about your relationship. Now you have to deal with it in your extraordinarily normal life.
I didn’t mean to start dating Min Yoongi. I’d simply gone into New York City. I had taken the day off from work weeks in advance and gone in with my friends then ran into him at Bryant Park. I’d heard BTS before, but honestly, I had no clue that they were there at that time. I later learned it was for some meeting, but we never really talked about the details of one of our favorite days.
We’d made eye contact. He was in front of the fountain taking pictures of it and himself, and I’d noticed him out of the corner of my eye. When we tell this story, he likes to say that I was staring at him with heart eyes. In reality, I watched him for 10 seconds and within that time he’d notice me and given me a coy smile. Then he jogged back over to Jimin and Namjoon and I shook my head clear of that and back into my friends conversation.
I hadn’t noticed the 3 boys following us across the street into Kinokuniya Bookstore. We simply went across the street to look at the manga, figures, and all of the cute stationary. I was there with my two best friends, Alicia and Julianna. They had wandered off, crying about some manga about stray dogs and I was alone in the basement of the store, looking at the stationary when I felt a heat on the back of my neck. I always got nervous when I was alone, simply because I had some terrible anxiety.
I was the mom friend in the group, so I had to take charge in certain situations. For some reason, inside of flight I choose fight. Boy, was it the right choice. I’d turned around the see who was staring at me and it was him, Him with his blonde hair. Him with his soft face. Him with his all black outfit and snapback, hiding from the world.
Before I got the chance to ask why he was staring at me, he stepped closer and held out his hand.
“Min Yoongi.” he introduced and I shook it.
“(Y/N) (Y/L/N). Can I asked why a perfectly good stranger has been watching me like some creep.”
He chuckled. I melted. “Well, I can’t help myself to do anything, but to look at you. You kind of have my full attention and I also thought it was a little creepy. Obviously, you noticed me. So, I thought I would introduce myself.”
“What a gentleman.”
“You know, they have this cute little cafe on the top floor. Wanna come get lunch with me?”
His english was a little broken, but I managed to catch his drift and pick up on what he was saying. The way he spoke was almost rehearsed. Later, I found out that Namjoon helped him learn this little monologue so he could speak to me.
Then it was all a part of history. Our history. The six of us had a lunch together and Yoongi and I hit it off. He was trying so hard to speak my language, even though Namjoon had to help him a bunch. He was so… into me. It was crazy. I’d never had such an instant spark with someone, especially someone so reserved at first. I had always had this weird outgoing, loud guy type.
He was so captivating. He still is. Anyways, that’s how it started. After that lunch, he’d invited us to their concert that night. When I carried on, stressing out about how I had nothing to wear, he just waved me off. My girlfriends laughed at my constant need to worry about the silliest things in the world, just stating “This is how I was.” and that “he’d have to get used to it”. Which he responded with, “I plan on it.”.
On the way out of the store, he grabbed my hand and led me down the avenue. We were both totally aware he had no idea where he was off to, but he’d decided I was going to get a whole new outfit then stay at his hotel. I’d felt like I’d known Min Yoongi for years. His personality just vibed with me and the hotel part didn’t even come across in a creepy way? Then we shopped and went to his show.
Obviously, the next day he was gone. Off to some other city. But he never left me. My days were full of constant texts and calls. My weeks became filled with him flying in whenever he had a day off. My months were made up of stolen kisses and my year ended up in a relationship. It was a secret and we could handle it. The constant separation made keeping this secret from his record label so much easier.
Until 2 years later. 2 years into my bliss, we were caught by one of his fans. He’d flown in for the weekend and one of them had followed the car he got picked up in from the airport all the way to a parking lot of a Mcdonald’s where he hopped into my car. We were in for some shit, let me tell you. My mentions were filled and so was my phone. BigHit now owned me in a way, sadly. After signing a bunch of contracts about how I wasn’t playing Yoongi and that I couldn’t run away with his money and I couldn’t reveal more intimate parts of him and if we got married I had none of his BTS assets and all of that dumb shit, I thought it had died down.
The armies didn’t hate me. Well, obviously some did, but the others made me feel welcome. Made me feel less scared about going public with my relationship with my boyfriend of almost 3 years. I was very straight forward with the things I could talk about and did whatever his record label asked me to. At first, it started with an hour long interview, talking about myself and us. Why we kept this all a secret and such. It ended with them surprising me with what I thought was a skype call, but Yoongi ended up being there. After 4 months.
When we were on the skype call, he told me to close my eyes for a moment so he could put on something silly or whatever. Then I smelt him, as weird as it sounds. He wore my favorite cologne and I started crying before he wrapped his arms around me. Within seconds I was buried into his chest, sobbing, as he held his hands on my face. He wiped away my tears for camera effect, but he also made sure to block my face from the limelight. He knew I’d be even more upset if there were suddenly gifs of me hysterical on the internet.
So, blah blah blah, right? Now, I’ll bring us to today. Currently, I was hiding in the fridge at my job at a super market deli. My manager knew I was in here and I was even preparing food in here to go in the showcase. Currently there were a bunch of pre-teen girls standing at the counter, all looking for me. It’d been like this for the past week and my manager Steve happened to feel bad for me today.
A few hours earlier, my twitter started to go crazy. The Big Hit account had decided to use me for some retweets and tweeted out my work address. So now it looked like I was having a fucking meet and greet, so I decided to be trapped in the fridge. Yep.
Steve walked in and kind of chuckled at me as I packed some yams into a dinner container. “I know you’re having a hard time out there, but we could really use you. It’s a little busy out there. It’s your meet and greet after all.” Then he broke into a full on laughter, patting his chest, to make sure he could still breathe at the end of it. I didn’t laugh because it wasn’t funny. Not funny at all. “I’m glad you’re sticking this out, you know, taking one for the team back here.”
In all reality, I wanted to ask to go home. It was starting to get cold and I forgot a jacket, but I needed the money. Not all of us could be K-pop idols and I didn’t want to really want to have to rely on him for money. Well, he sort of ruined my job. And my life. Maybe I could bill him for work interruption. I’ll sue him. That’s it, I’ll sue him. I’m not exactly sure for what yet, but I texted informing him about the lawsuit. He didn’t respond.
He also didn’t respond to my 20 other texts messages freaking out about the armies at my job or about how his record label was trying to sabotage our relationship. He was probably in the middle of overworking himself in whatever country he was in today. I had stopped trying to keep up with each individual one and just knew the basic area of where he was. I think it was Korea. Or maybe Japan. I knew it wasn’t America. That was in half a week.
They had a 2 weeks vacation and he’d decided to spend it with me. Every time he got a break, he tried to waste it all on me. I always bullied him into going home to be with his family or spend time with the band and the last 4 days would be reserved for us. This time he’d convinced me to let him stay with me the whole time. He’d even called my store and requested the two weeks off for me as he planned whatever he was going to do. So, starting Monday I would no longer be trapped here, I guess.
As soon as all of the dinner were packed, I stacked them onto a tray and kicked open the fridge door, subsequently hitting one of the chef’s, Mike, with it. “Ahh, she emerges.” he joked, pushing my hat lower over my eyes. “Maybe you should go say hi to them. They’ve been here since your shift started.” He nodded at the 50 girls filling up the coffee lounge outside of the deli. I swished my mouth back and forth, debating the situation. “I’ll go with you, if that’s what you need. I know you want to, nervous nelly.”
I put the dinners down and grabbed my bag on my way back to my tundra. I pulled up the step ladder and took out my makeup bag, deciding now would be a good time to look good. Of course I wanted to go meet the girls. They made my boyfriend happy and support him. They support us. I guess it really did look bad if I hid all day. I was just so anxious about the entire situation. I wasn’t the famous one. I was kind of just riding along with the love of my life who happened to be a bit popular.
I pulled off my hat and took out the ponytail within my hair. I ran my hands through it and of course it was already a bit knotted. Nothing could ever be easy in my life. Whatever, this was for him. For his label. In the back of my mind I couldn’t shake the horrible feeling that everyone out there would jump me for dating him, but they were there. Here to see me. Hell, what do I even do? I work, I’m not even in school, and I sing in a band that purely plays in my friends garage because we can’t get our act together to even have a name.
I stood up and cleared my throat a bunch. When I got nervous my voice seemed to crack and I stepped out of my tomb. “Wish me luck.” I said to the guys I worked with and they just laughed and waved me off.
I pushed open the double doors and heard a few noises come from the direction I was headed in. “H-Hey guys.” I smiled, giving a little wave to the girls as they proceeded to run over to me and surround me. First, it started slow. I thought maybe they’d kind of stare at me from a distance, but oh no. Of course nothing can be civil and easy with me, can it?
They started getting closer to me and snapping selfies all around me, throwing out questions about Yoongi.
“What’s he like in bed?” I can’t discuss that. I legally can’t.
“Is this just a publicity thing? So the armies can feel like they have a chance?” No, I’m in love with him. He’s in love with me.
“You’re so fucking pretty. It makes me feel so shitty.” I’m so sorry. I’m so so so sorry. Please, don’t feel that way. You’re absolutely beautiful.
“Is BTS gonna tour here soon?” I don’t know.
“Why have you been hiding from us? What exactly are you hiding, Y/N?” Nothing. I was so scared. I’m so scared.
I wanted to respond to everything. I wanted to defend myself. I couldn’t get a word out edgewise, everything was trapped in my thoughts. I just smiled for all of the pictures and videos they were taking of and with me. I didn’t start to cry until I heard Steve yell for me behind the deli counter, asking if I was alright. Then I became hysterical. I covered my face and closed my eyes, only to hear him running across the wooden floor. He lightly pushed through the girls and pulled me out of there, back to my safe haven of the deli fridge.
I’d been excused to leave work early after that and Steve told me not to come in the next day either. After a little bit of a fight about it, he told me to start my days off early and that he’d talk to his boss about asking if those can be paid vacation days. I knew he’d say no however. The store manager had been pushing for me to work more because of all of the business I’d been bringing in by simply working there. We were up by around half a grand a day and boy did that make him look good.
When I pulled into my driveway, I unplugged the aux cord from my car and dialed one of the numbers I knew by heart. Yoongi’s international number. I rarely called him without asking, but I knew he had my phone call volume on. Only when it was an emergency I’d phone him right away.
It rang three times. “Mmmm, baby? What’s up?” Oh, he sounded so sleepy. I felt bad for about 5 seconds before I started yelling.
“How could you sleep through all of my messages? Boy, have I had a day.” I unlocked my door and slammed it behind me, only locking the top lock. I threw myself on the couch as I heard him groaning about sitting up to check his phone.
“Facetime.” Then he hung up and facetimed me this time. By this point I was upside down on my couch with a red face and an angry expression. I hit the green button. “You look so grumpy.” He chuckled.
“I am grumpy. Please don’t go on twitter for a few days?”
“So, armies were at your job.” I saw his face sink a little as he leaned against the wall.
I sat upright and fixed my hair in the camera mirror. “I kind of started crying and I got excused from work until after my vacation days. They probably think I’m crazy, Gloongs.”
“You’re calling me Gloongs? Look at you. The new dwarf in Snow White. Mopey.”
“I’m gonna hang–”
“No. Please no. You’re not okay. I’m sorry this is happening. I’ll fix it.” Then he hung up.
The way he went about his life was so weird to me sometimes. Knowing him, he was back asleep already too. Sleeping sounded like a pretty good idea, actually. I knew I could never take a nap, it was something I had learned to deal with. I’d always wished I could just pass out like my boyfriend. He had this uncanny ability to simply close his eyes and be somewhere else.
I stood from the purple couch in my living room and walked the total 10 feet to my bedroom. I swung open the door and fell straight onto my bed. The phone charger I kept next to my bed was gone and then I just let out my anger by screaming. I didn’t give a fuck about my upstairs neighbor in this moment or the 5 open windows in the little apartment my mother and I stayed in. I was just frustrated.
The plug had fallen on the floor off of my mattress, luckily. Once my phone was charging, I called up my best friend Alicia. She didn’t pick up and I knew she was also asleep. Of course two of the most important people in my life had these weird sleeping habits I couldn’t get myself into. I could barely sleep as it was, let alone throughout the day.
I called her again as fast as I could. Normally after the first phone call she grabbed her phone to turn off the volume for the second call. I always begged her not to because if there was a second call it was important, but she didn’t give a shit. It was almost crazy to me how my boyfriend and best friend were so alike. I really couldn’t fathom how I could handle two of them let alone one, but I did it. I guess my type had changed.
I must have called fast enough because I was met with a groan and a, “Ugh, what do you need?”
“Hey,” I almost choked up? I wasn’t sad, just stressed. “Can we do something?”
“Guardians 2 just came out, if you can get us tickets.” Usually I was met with a no and that she was going back to bed. “What’s wrong with you?”
I put my phone onto speaker and opened up the chrome browser, typing in showtimes near us. “Oh, you know. I’m just casually getting stalked.”
“Yeah? Well, that’s karma.”
“Dating a superstar. A hot, lazy version of me though. Yeah. Karma.” she broke into a fit of chuckles and I heard her get up and start rummaging through her clothes. “Do I have to dress nice? Am I going to get followed by some paparazzi?” I could hear her trying not to laugh.
“I’m wearing jeans and a fucking hoodie. The next show time is in 40 minutes, I got us side seats. I’m coming to pick you up.” Then I hung up, grabbed my keys, and ran out my door.
The movie was amazing, but my phone call with Yoongi later was not. Halfway through the movie, I remembered that he had wanted to see it with me. Boy, I wasn’t ready for the angry rant I was about to get, but I stayed up til 2 am for it anyways.
“Hey, baby.” I could hear the smile in his voice. He was in the arena in whatever place he was in now, getting ready for his show. “How are you, what’d you do after our call last night? Or your day time.”
“I went to the movies with Ali-”
“No you didn’t.” Oh no. He interrupted me. He was onto me, he knew. “Are you kidding me? I planned the tour around us seeing this movie during my vacation days!” He was screaming now. I heard Hoseok in the background asking him to calm down and heard my precious boyfriend slapping him away. “You know what? I’m done.”
“Done? Dude, come on.”
“You’re fucking coming to Korea on the next flight and we’re seeing it together. You’re off from work anyways, I’m not taking no as an answer. Hoseok, please take my card and find her a flight. I’d do it, but she won’t pack anything that she needs if I hang up to look.”
He was right, sadly. For such a put together person I over packed unessential stuff no matter where I was going. Day trips, week trips, I packed my entire room up for those. “Don’t make him book me a ticket. I can buy my own.”
He broke into a fit of laughter. “Shut up, no you can’t. I got you out of work, so let me compensate by paying. You also can’t argue with me because it’s done. Check your email.”
He was right, I couldn’t. The flight was in about 3 hours and I was an hour away from the airport, so I started to pack. He scolded me about packing 3 times the clothes I needed when it only a four day trip. They had three more shows left to end their tour and would be in the same area for all of them. So I didn’t have to feel guilty about more travel expenses and such like I always did.
Of course I knew he had the money to spend and such, but that was the thing. I didn’t want to be pampered by him at all times just because he could. I liked being able to support myself and not feeling like I was using him for his money. I was so in love with this kid and I had been for the last few years and that was the last thing I wanted him to believe.
Yeah, I was working a part time minimum wage job and he was touring the world, but I didn’t need him for such small expenses. Even though I guess a plane ticket wasn’t small. On the cab ride to JFK airport, I was just enveloped in my thoughts about him that I didn’t even realize when we had arrived. I was forced out of my head by a loud honk and the man in the front seat telling me to get out. I passed up a 50 dollar bill and grabbed my larger than I should have suit case out of the trunk.
I never really began going to airports and flying before Yoongi. It was such a normal thing to him, but to me it was so extravagant. Not even including where you’re going, flying on an airplane was just such a cool concept to me. So I took it all in every time. Even if it fucked me over in the end. Which you already knew it did. I never slept, so my jet lag was extra bad during these. I just watched movie after movie, every time. There was truly nothing else to do for me than take advantage of that. I got too anxious sleeping in front of people, even if they were perfectly good strangers.
Whenever my plane landed in South Korea, I always regretted not paying too much attention when Yoongi tried to teach me the language in depth. I knew some basic terms to get me around, but he had practiced English for so long and so hard for me, that I really did feel guilty for not learning his native tongue. It seemed to always be a lingering thought whenever I was in his homeland, but he made me feel silly for thinking that. Stating that I had no true reason to learn Korean and that he didn’t want me to get good at it so he could always talk shit about me without me truly understanding. As much as I wanted to believe that was a joke, I knew it wasn’t.
After grabbing my luggage, I looked around for one of the security guards I knew would be getting me. I pulled my hood lower on my head and looked for the sign that Yoongi probably wrote. Knowing him it would say something embarrassing. There it was. Booboo buns. He even drew hearts around it. He was such a dick, even when he wasn’t here.
I gripped my rolling suitcase with a hard fist as I walked over to the burly man and waved. He complimented me with a smile and turned his back on me to follow to the car outside. He attempted to take my suitcase from me and I just responded with, “Aniyo gwaenchanhseubnida.” Meaning no thank you. One of the few terms I made sure to know along with where is the bathroom and a few other phrases.
Once I was in the familiar black van, I finally closed my eyes. I didn’t know how far the hotel was and I didn’t bother to ask. Well, I didn’t know how to ask and I had no service here to even text Yoongi I was on my way. He definitely knew though. For a lazy fuck he was on top of important shit; like getting me around a place where I could easily end up lost. As much as I prided myself on having good direction value.
Of course I didn’t sleep on the way to the hotel when that was purely all I wanted to do. The security guard parked the car in front of the hotel and left the hazards on. He simply walked me inside and I said thank you and he passed me a card with the room number and key. From the lack of people around here, I figured the boys were at their show. It was around 8 pm here now, so it was almost a perfect time for me to sleep.
I power walked to the elevator and once it dinged I went inside up to the 18th floor. I closed my eyes on the way up as I leaned against the mirror on the side of the elevator. I hope I didn’t leave a mark or anything. I was probably all gross from that plane ride. If I had the energy I’d shower, but I just wanted to knock out and I bet that the bed here was super comfortable. Nothing like my mattress on the floor back at home. Ding. I was here. Floor 18, room 22. Of course it was at the end of a long hallway. Of course.
At this point I was almost ready to crawl down the hallway, but instead I jogged. I figured I was alone, but I was wrong. During my sprint, I ran into random man and completely ate shit and fell. He said, “Sorry, sorry.” but continued running in the opposite direction of me. Awesome. Now I was tired and bruised and probably had fucking rug burn, but I was over it. I stood up and just pushed the thought that I got to see Yoongi when I woke up. I swiped the card through room 22 and saw it. The beautiful, big bed. The door slammed behind me and I kicked off the moccasins I’d been wearing for the past almost 16 hours. A smile loomed over my face as I tiptoed over to the empty bed and stuffed myself into it. Within a minute, I was out like a light.
I was awoken by the light turning on, but the thing that pushed me into being awake was the stench that followed it. I coughed to clear my throat and sat up. I opened my eyes to a smiling Yoongi at the foot of the bed. My eyes were still adjusting to the change, so he was a little blurry to me. “Why didn’t you shower there?” I asked. It totally wasn’t the first thing I wanted to say, but I kind of hurt a bit too much to move or yell.
“I wanted to see my girl.” His smile turned into one of my favorites. The gummy one. Then he crawled over to me, rubbing his fingers across the dimple that lined my face. “You’re so pretty… and bloody?” He chuckled, “Did you fall or something?” He peeled the blanket off of me and I was as confused as the look on his face. “Oh, come on. You fell?”
I couldn’t help but to laugh. There were a bunch of scratches on my arm from the carpet that had torn just enough to bleed. Then I just ignored it, so here we were. “Yeah, I fell. I was super tired and ran into this guy-”
“Someone ran into you?” He pulled me into his smelly arms and squeezed me. “You didn’t yell at him? Shame. I love it when you’re a firecracker.” He kissed at my cheek, towards the corner of my mouth. “Wow, I missed you.”
He continued to leave small kisses around my face and I knew I wasn’t sleeping anytime soon. I turned around so that I was looking at him and he had changed his hair. “Green?” My face lit up, “You did my favorite hair color again?!”
He bit at my nose, “Yeah. I gotta make sure this vacation is perfect for you.” He went back to kissing around my face. Whenever we met up, it always started like this. He missed the physical interaction, but never pushed me into anything, He always started slow.
“How was the show?”
“Amazing, as always, but I was so distracted knowing you were here and laying in my bed without me.” His kisses began to trail down the side of my face to my neck, his second favorite place to be at for a while.
“Can we shower? I don’t want to fuck you- No, that’s a lie. I want to fuck you really bad.”
“Blunt today?” he breathed hot air down my neck as he spoke in a sexy whisper.
“I’m gross and so are you, let’s shower.”
We both walked into the bathroom and starting stripping each other. Nothing too sensual at first, until we were both in our undergarments. We both just looked at each other for a minute. Observed each other’s flaws and imperfections as if it was the first time seeing each other naked, but boy was it not. Honestly, I think that’s what made us love each other so much. Everything was always the same, but it was always new.
“God, I’ve missed you so much.” Yoongi breathed. He undid the clasp on my bra and as I took that off I felt his long fingers slide down my back to pull down my lacy panties I’d been in for probably the last day. I breathed out a gasped when he touched me. His fingers were cold even though the bathroom was slowly heating up. I pulled on the waistline of Yoongi’s boxers, suggesting for him to take them off. Even if we were caught in a moment, he couldn’t help but to slightly laugh at my little motions. I was never truly the one in charge of these situations, but considering it’s been about 3 months since we’d last seen each other, I was getting a little antsy.
He grabbed onto my hand and led me into the shower. As soon as I turned the shower on he started attacking my neck with little kisses. Nothing too aggressive, but hard enough to leave a faint bruise after each kiss. I turned around to face him. God, he was beautiful. We moved closer to each other and our lips finally connected. The kiss was soft and sweet. Then of course leave it to Yoongi become aggressive. With one swift motion, he lifted me off of the ground and made me wrap my legs around him. He pushed me into the tiled wall and I could feel him against my heat.
“You came all this way for me, I figured I might as well do something for you.” He said.
“That’s fine by me, daddy.” I teased. I could feel him fucking harden against me. It was really hot. I knew it was one of his kinks. He would never admit it to me but whenever I called him that it would almost instantaneously turn him on. Now that I did that, I knew I was in for a world of trouble. Aka, him getting mad if I called him anything other than that or sir. I did it anyways, him being mad was pretty hot in these cases.
“Yeah?” his voice was raspier now.
“Okay, Yoongi.” I smirked, excited for the outcome.
“Don’t you dare call me that now. You started this,” Yoongi growled. He let me sink a little bit again the wall, only to duck his shoulder under my left leg and put it on top. My breathing hitched as he got me into one of his favorite positions. Also because this was dangerous. We could die. Then it would be all my fault and his armies would kill me.
I was taken back to the moment as he kitten licked up my slit and pulled away right before he got to my clit. He chuckled at the little gasping noise I made when he stopped and lifted up to touch me, but instead of going where I thought he cupped my chin. He smirked and kissed me so hard that I could almost feel the purple that my lip was going to be. He let go of my chin and began to lazily trail his hand down my body, making sure to go over my most sensitive parts in his little teasing session.
His eyes never left yours as he teased a digit inside, but quickly pulled it out. Before he started anything else he made sure I was secure against the wall and in his left hand. He did the same motion again with his middle finger and I gasped as the loss of touch.
“Please-” I begged, reaching for his wrist.
He slapped my hand away and squinted his eyes at me telling me to stop. This time he put in two fingers and curled them inside of me, my eyes closed from habit. “I want you to look at me while I touch you, princess.” He scolded. I could literally feel my insides turn to mush with his words as I bit onto my lip. His two fingers slowly moved inside of me while his thumb reached up to rub my clit. He kept curling and uncurling his fingers while rubbing little circles. All I wanted right now was to moan loud and sink to my knees, but I couldn’t lose my voice yet and I was pinned to the shower.
At this point he lowered me onto the ground, still keeping my leg on his shoulder. I gripped the shower handle as he moved his mouth onto my clit, lightly sucking on it while keeping his fingers inside of me. I wrapped my leg over my shoulder. He added a third finger and continued to curl them. I reached my other hand out and ran my fingers through his hair, being careful not to pull the green too hard. I pushed my hips down and mumbled a fuck. He hummed into me as he removed his fingers and licked up me one final time.
He pulled his fingers into his mouth, sucking on them while not breaking eye contact. “Better than ever.” He let my leg down and I still needed some support. I reached my arms up lazily and wrapped them around his neck, kissing him softly. He, however, didn’t want soft. The kiss quickly became intense as he slipped his tongue into my mouth. He ran his hands up and down my back, eventually landing on my ass and gripped it like he was holding on for dear life.
The kissing stopped for a moment. “Are you sure you don’t want me to-” I pulled one arm off of him and brought it toward his hip. He reached out for it with his own, lacing our fingers together. It felt less intense in this moment, as he smiled purely and took his other hand to my cheek.
“Let me take care of you for once. Let me fuck you til you beg me to stop, (Y/N).” He spoke in is normal voice, except a little bit higher. I simply bit my lip in response. Leave it to Yoongi to always know what to say to make me wet.
He lifted my leg back up again and placed himself at my entrance. In typical Yoongi fashion, he rubbed the head up and down my folds, barely dipping inside. “Please.” I begged, barely audible. He just smiled and slowly pushed into me. Within seconds, he picked up speed. He went at a mild tempo at first then as I put my hand onto his shoulder he lifted my leg higher and all you could hear was muffled moans and groans along with the slapping of skin.
He gripped my thigh as he thrusted in and out. He never broke eye contact with me and as much as I wanted to close my eyes, I stared right at him. When I reached my high, he knew. I knew he was close too. “Can I?” his eyes darted down to his cock. I nodded as I was unable to even speak. He fucked me right through my orgasm and my nails scratched through his skin. As soon as I was done, he moaned out my name as he came inside me. He lowered my leg to a more comfortable position and then pulled out.
Before putting me back onto the ground he made sure I was leaning on him and had my hand somewhere else. Fuck, he knew me too well. He hummed into my ear as my back leaned against his bare body. He ran his fingers through my hair and I felt a stinging in my eye. “Yoongi stop!” I yelled, squeezing it shut to try to comfort my pain.
“What’s wrong? Was I being too aggressive? I know it’s been a bit and I know you can barely walk right now but maybe y-”
“No, it’s not that-”
“Then what’s wrong?” He wrapped his arms around me, turning me in towards him.
“You got shampoo in my eye.”
He gulped. “I wasn’t holding the shampoo-”
“Then what’s in my eye?!” I yelled, reaching one hand up to rub it. He started to laugh.
“Babe, I am so sorry.”
For the rest of the shower, I just leaned into him after getting whatever was in my eye out. I missed being with him like this in such a personal way. We didn’t even speak, but we were so in tune with each other when we were together. He took care of me and I took care of him. In this moment, it was his turn. He knew I’d been hurting lately, mentally and now physically thanks to him. It was moments like these I was so grateful for him. I was always grateful for him.
He reached over me to turn off the water and pulled a towel off of the rack outside of it. He twirled it around me and then one around his own waist. He kept one arm around me as he patted some of the water off of himself. “You tired?” He whispered, patting me down a little bit before lifting me bridal style out of the shower.
He laid me onto the bed still wrapped up despite me still being well covered in water. He got in next to me and covered us with the warm blanket, pulling me close to his chest. He liked to sleep while in contact with me, despite what it may be. Tonight his arm was around me, but most nights his hand was on my hip or thigh . Tonight was different, he wanted to closer than usual. We which we already were. Our usual is across the world.
“Hey, Yoongs.” I whispered into his chest. He made a noise signaling he heard me. “I love you. I love you. I’m so in love with you.”
He ruffled my hair. “Shh, go to sleep.”
“Reassure me.” my unnecessary anxiety spoke out.
“I’m so in love with you. I’ve loved you since I’ve known you. You’re the strongest woman I know. You’re my sun and I love you. Darling, am I in love with you.”
Authors Note: Hey! I hope you enjoyed chapter 1 of Pressure! If you guys liked it, I’d appreciate if you let me know! I have lots of plans for this and would love to continue writing it! Thank you guys.
click clack to the bang, fuck you and you i’m always thankful because nothing comes easy why is it my fault that your life is only half-way there just life like that, just enough sorry but I’m gonna make more so watch me please be healthy
Anonymous said:What about some prompts on a human that is entirely too clever and a fairy who has made it their mission to somehow trip them up, get them to agree to a deal, promise things, etc?
Anonymous said:How about a little switcheroo? Human uses fairy’s true name against them!
Anonymous said:Oh jeepers, more fairies using humans name against them please! Or just dark fairies in general, they’re my fav!
baconator153 said:Hey could I have some prompts for someone who is taken as a sort of pet/prized possession by the fae and slowly finds themselves accepting and submitting gleefully to their new life?
1) It wasn’t an obsession. Being intent upon one human for a lifetime meant nothing, a human lifetime was a blip compared to the lifespan of their kind. It wasn’t an obsession. It was entertainment. Just a game. They tried absolutely everything - promises of power and wealth, clever disguises as pretty things, promises of love, temptations and trickeries and nothing. For forty years, there was nothing. They knew their name, of course, having heard it in passing, but that wasn’t the same as being told a name or offered it by the named. They’d even tried seeing if the human was of some secret fey lineage (no, they weren’t) because surely no human could hold such cleverness. And then…and then the human began to forget things. They watched. They saw. They forgotten keys and dates and little things, going a bit muddled around the edges. It should have delighted them, really. At first it did.It was easy to take advantage of. But suddenly it didn’t seem like a fun game anymore. They caught the (their) human’s arm as they stumbled, observing them carefully. “[Name]. My name is [name].” It chilled the fairy to finally hear it offered so freely, and the human just appeared so tired. Their grip tightened a little. The human fished in their pockets, drawing out a crumpled piece of paper and offering it over. “Alzheimer’s,” the human said. “Got the results this morning.”
2) The human smiled and moved closer. Pressed their lips to the fairy’s ear and then murmured - It felt like a millennia since they’d last heard their own name, spoken and never by a human. To speak another’s name, among fairies, was a most intimate act when to possess another’s name was to have such power over them. The fairy’s head went crystal blank. They stared at the human, this stranger, unable to mask their shock. “Your sovereign took someone very dear to me, [name].” It was overwhelming to hear it twice in a row and the fairy squeezed their eyes shut. “So I thought maybe I’d take someone very dear to them. Took a bit of digging, but I got there. Aren’t you going to tell me how clever I am, [name]?”
3) “One day,” the fairy bit out through their teeth. “You’re going to forget to use my name when you tell me not to hurt you.” A name, after all, wasn’t an order forever. It could shape and twist and define - to be named after truth, or love or loyalty. But it wasn’t forever. There were no commands for forever. The human raised their brows. “When that day comes,” they promised. “You’re not going to even want to hurt me anymore.”
4) The human shivered as they heard their name float across the room. Quiet, and yet as striking and accurate as an arrow when it came from those lips. No need for raised voices, merely a murmur of their name. A reminder. The fairy crooked their finger to summon the human to their side, away from humans and human things. An arm wrapped around their waist. “Having fun?” the fairy murmured. “Missing home?” “You are my home now.” They knew they’d said the right thing, passed the test, at the amused flicker of a smile that crossed the fairy’s lips. Yet. “Why don’t you introduce me to your old friends, love?” Endearments. The human used to loathe them, but now when they knew the power their name could wield it seemed a kindness.
5) “You can’t control me, I haven’t given you my name,” the human dared. Eyes ablaze with wildness, as fierce as a jungle cat. The fey grinned sharp-toothed. “I know other names still that might sway your heart. What about this one?” They leaned in close, like imparting a secret, a kiss, and whispered their lover’s name. The human closed their eyes. “What have you done to them?” “Ah see, the name is swaying you already! Such a sweet name, too. Fragile. I like this game.”
6) It was difficult, at first. Everything was so different. It became easy, freeing. There was nothing to worry about anymore, all pain soothed away as swiftly as it was dealt. They’d never done anything wild in their life but the fae were nothing but wild. It was easy to get swept away in the circus, in the colour and the hedonism and the magic. And in you. Everything I was was yours to be worried about, to take care of, to mould as you pleased. I couldn’t do wrong because it wasn’t my responsibility to think of such things for myself. For the first time in my life, I got to be perfect because any of my flaws were only yours and nothing to do with me. I liked it when they looked at me and declared me perfect, or lovely, or such fun. I never got to be those things before you.
7) “You seem calmer now,” the fairy noted. They cupped some water from the brook in their hands, offering it up to the human. It was a familiar ritual by now. To consume anything in this world had a dreamy affect, and, distantly, they were aware it was an intoxicating, drugging, tranquilizing one too. They drank. Because it was true - they were calmer now. The fairy considered them, shifting one hand to pet their hair once they’d drank their fill. “Are you happy here?” The human nodded, smiling brightly. The fairy hummed, and their grip turned tight. “How boring.”
One minute you’re standing in a crowded room looking at a strange girl as she sips on bourbon. Then the next minute you find yourself smiling, helplessly, wondering what you could possibly do to just get one kiss from her. Love overwhelms your body, it shoots heart-shaped arrows flying through your core. Infecting every living cell with the feeling of certainty, with the feeling of finally, the feeling of wanting something greater than you’ve ever had before. Love comes easily but in the process of falling in love, you learn that love does not stay as it once started. Love only stays if want it to stay.
You are, two human beings, two people coming from a completely different family. A different past, a past that didn’t include you. You cannot fret on the past actions your love once did. Because there should be no doubt, no fear, no judgement on what they did to once feel whole, to once feel less abandoned. Two different people who deal with problems a lot differently. You are all not cut with the same cookie cutter and everyone has their own flaws, their own scars, and their own stories. In the last year, I’ve learned to fight for what you want but do not fight against her. She can be hard headed, stubborn, always on edge, but I’ve learned to agree to disagree and move on. In the last year, I’ve learned the foods she does not like and the foods that make her feel comfort. I’ve learned the wrinkles of her hands and which fingers she likes caressed. I’ve learned that she will not react to certain scenarios in the same manner that I would, and that’s okay, because I love her. This year that I’ve spent with her has taught me to be patient when shopping, to look through every rack for her because she is so stressed out about finding the perfect dress. So just find it for her, find it for her and make sure she tries it on because she needs to see what you see every time you look at her. I have learned the importance of communication. We might be in love but that does not mean we will reach the same agreement every single day. There is going to be days when we both want to walk away, say fuck it all, I’m leaving, but deep inside you know that one heated discussion is not worth losing the love of your life. We are two different people who have fallen so deeply for one another. I am so in love, that I’ve learned to wait, to just wait, wait for her in the car or the room or the living room, as she spends hours doing her makeup. I’ve learned to wait when she cannot make up her mind on what she wants to do. To wait, when she can’t find her earrings, or her shoes, or her bra. I’ve just learned to wait because that’s what love is. Patience. Love is loving the flaws, the ticks, the habits, that annoy you the most but still you can find beauty in them. In one year of being with her, I’ve learned so much. Love is not easy and that is okay. We are all going at our own pace. I’ve learned to stay up with her late at night as she finishes doing her homework, even though she waited till the last minute. I’ve learned to hold her hand when we walk into a crowded room because she’ll feel solace knowing I’m right there to protect her. I’ve learned to cuddle with her, even on hot days. To tell her, she’s beautiful because sometimes she needs to be reminded. I’ve learned to not yell or get impatient to just sit there until she’s ready to go or talk or just be. I’ve learned to love her family as my own and to pet her dogs every time you walk in through that door because if you don’t they’ll be sad for the rest of the night. I’ve learned to stay out of the kitchen while she cooks because she’s got it and doesn’t need someone looking over her shoulder. I’ve learned to always have a book ready to read, in case, she just wants to stay home and do absolutely nothing. I’ve learned to always grab her hips and pull her towards mine after she’s fallen asleep. She needs that feeling of safety, she needs to know you have her when she’s the most vulnerable. She might cry some days and want to talk for hours and there will be other days where she doesn’t want to say a word, so just be there. I’ve learned to always be there for her, to be her best friend, above everything. In one year that I’ve spent with her, I’ve learned nothing in life comes easy but if you fight for what you believe in, the rest will follow.
Happy Anniversary, K.J. You are a never ending book and I want to read you all my days. (V.I.T.)
Another delightful story for @caped-ace, this time for some Reaper76 from Overwatch! Enjoy these old men, proving that being edgelords doesn’t go out with age.
Cut is for length, not for content.
It had taken nearly thirty minutes after the battle with Los Muertos for Soldier: 76 to finally collapse in the Dorado alleyway.
Clearly, he had known it was only a matter of time before he would succumb to the injuries he had sustained. That’s why he had concentrated on taking an aimless, twisting path through the Mexican city, avoiding major thoroughfares. Generally he kept moving south - which must have been where he had left whatever mode of transportation he had used to get there - but then, near an industrial scrapyard, his knees buckled. One arm against a building wall, the other clutching the heavy pulse rifle. Of course that would be important to him, but soon it fell with a clatter as he gripped his side, where he had taken the brunt of the grenade blast.
Idiot, Reaper thought. The child had foolishly put herself in danger, had lingered too long, and then the rogue had hesitated in deciding what to do about it, waiting for the last possible moment, losing the gang and just barely rescuing the girl. Sloppy. Careless.
After a moment, it had become too much, and Soldier: 76 sagged to the ground in an unconscious pile.
“Old habits die hard.”
And now that old habit was going to kill him. Ironic.
*A series of important birthdays Fitz has experienced over the years that have each changed the course of his life irrevocably.*
Title based on this quote: “Most of us can remember a time when a birthday - especially if it was one’s own - brightened the world as if a second sun has risen.” - Robert Staughton Lynd
Fun fact: Pierre Curie’s birthday is today, meaning that section of the story would actually be taking place today - and also that I’ve gone twenty-one years without realizing his birthday was May 15th too?? Well, here’s to me and you, Pierre!
Two and a half months.
It’s been two and a half months since Fitz first laid eyes
on Jemma Simmons, who is twenty-three days younger than him and the holder of
two PhDs and a dizzying intellect. In all his life, Fitz has never before been
intimidated by someone smarter than him (likely because he’s never met anyone
who even comes close), and he has no idea what to say to her.
When they were paired together in chem class, he’d seen it
as the perfect opportunity to show her that he’s just as smart as her and they
could get on quite well. But, nothing in his life is ever that easy, and he may
have the perfect opportunity, but the perfect words are nowhere to be found.
By circumstance, it just so happens that is on Marie Curie’s
birthday that Fitz is in chem class, sitting silently beside Jemma and silently
running through, then quickly shooting down, a list of clever things he could
say to her, much like he does every other day.
But, today is different. Today, Jemma seems to be frustrated
with their current assignment, muttering under her breath as she tries to figure
her way around an issue that’s stopping her from completing it. It hits Fitz
with all the subtly of a lightning strike that he has already solved that particular issue.
I saw the ask post where you admitted to being a straight white male, and apologized for being one. You shouldn't apologize for being who you are, and it makes me sad that you feel the need to.
Ok, I’ve gotten a couple different messages about this, so I just wanna clear the air. I was being facetious. I’m not actually sorry for being randomly born with a certain skin color.
And I don’t accept responsibility for things that other people with my same skin color have done. No more than I blame all people of a race/religion for something that someone in their group has done. I understand that it’s simpler to get mad at an entire group of people, because your group wants to hate them. Belonging to a social circle is incredibly important to human beings, BUT…life isn’t that simple. We’re going to have to learn to untangle the intricacies of the human personality one deeply flawed, and beautifully complex person at a time. It’s not easy, but nothing great in life ever is.
The time has come! It’s official, my YouTube channel will be launching tomorrow with a short instructional video on how to make a simple D.I.Y prosperity jar to help attract financial security into your life, using nothing more than some easy to find kitchen herbs and craft supplies! I’ll be updating this post with a link to the video when it’s finally up. Come check it out and give me some love! 🕯💕