is just the most heartbreaking thing to me

greyhoundsgirl  asked:

So I know nothing about chess but I saw this on Wikipedia "A queen sacrifice is the deliberate sacrifice of a queen in order to gain a more favorable tactical position." and it made me think of Stiles as the queen also telling them that if they have to sacrifice him it's OK. That stopping him was the most important thing. It just felt very Stiles to me. (And very heartbreaking!)

Ooh! Nice! I mean, yes, heartbreaking, but a great parallel.

3

My favorite part about this kiss is how intense Dylan/Stiles’ face is. He’s kissing her like she’s his lifeline, the air he breathes. He’s so consumed in this moment, in this kiss, in Lydia. You can feel how much he loves her and how much this moment means to him. This is everything Stiles has spent the past 10 years building up to, and the intensity with which he kisses Lydia is like none I’ve ever seen. Lydia holds onto to Stiles, kissing him back just as forcefully, and we get this incredible moment that seems to stop time. I just can’t get over how much you can tell that this is quite possibly the most important day of Stiles’ life just by the expression he makes when kissing Lydia. It’s gentle and intense and heartbreaking all at the same time. You can feel the gentleness he possesses for Lydia, but it’s also this intense fire that burns hot enough to consume them both. It’s so amazing that these two completely opposite things can exist simultaneously in just one expression. Dylan never ceases to amaze me with how much he understands Stiles as a character and his unconditional love for Lydia.

The “Why I love Kieran” ramble

Seriously though, I feel like I need to get this off my chest.

I see so much Kieran hate everywhere I go and I just completely don’t understand it? 

It’s true, he made a bad choice telling Gwyn about what Mark was saying and it all ended awfully. But can we look at this situation from Kieran’s point of view?

Kieran was alone. Until he met Mark. Mark was the first one for him. Kieran thought that Mark loved him the same way he loved Mark. He was sure that Mark would come back to him, because why not? For Kieran a family means nothing else than pain, rejection and loneliness. He does not understand the feelings Mark has for his family. He does not understand humans and their relations, guess why, BECAUSE HE’S NOT HUMAN. He never lived in a normal family like Mark did, he never had anyone other than Mark showing him feelings of affection.

How would you feel if you saw the only person that ever loved you moving away from you in a way that you have no power over?

Kieran trusted Mark, he trusted him because he loved him, he trusted him because he thought Mark was telling him the truth always, and that his feelings were truth too.

But when he saw him with Cristina he grew anxious. Because he knew that Mark can lie, he is not a faerie. And Kieran has no idea how to deal with lies because he never lived in a world where other are lying.

Kieran was the one that let Mark be who he really felt he is. He was the one who let Mark say and believe that he’s a Shadowhunter. He’s the one who made Mark remember who he is, the whole time he spent with the Wild Hunt.

Kieran gave Mark his heart, the only thing he had, and this fuc… and Mark just threw it away the moment he didn’t need Kieran anymore.

Because that’s basically what he did, used Kieran when he felt alone, and when Kieran was the only one who cared about him, and abandoned him the moment he could go back to his family, his normal life.

And you can think that’s normal, you would do the same thing, but not Kieran

He lost everything he had, the only person who gave him love just abandoned him. He was abandoned AGAIN. And he didn’t want that to happen. So he did what he did.

But that’s not the end. He understood. He understood fully well that he did a bad thing. And he tried to make things better, he tried to help Mark and his family, because he knew already how much family meant for Mark. 

Do you guys even realize, that it’s 99% official, that Kieran killed Iarlath. He killed another Faerie, because this Faerie hurt Mark, his one and only love, hurt him and his family. And Kieran could not forgive that. So he killed him knowing the consequences. 

And the most heartbreaking thing for me was the moment, when Mark told him he’s staying with his family. And Kieran just left. He left to be killed. And he knew that.

But he left, because he didn’t want to bother Mark who didn’t love him.

He left because there was no life for him without Mark.

And I just can’t stand it when I see people hating on Kieran, because he was not in the wrong.

He was just a Faerie boy, who was used and thrown away when he wanted to find happiness.

And that just breaks my heart.

anonymous asked:

The little smile Lexa gives right before she says "I hope so" to Clarke is the most heartbreaking thing I've ever seen. She's trying so hard to remain strong. Of course once Clarke kisses her it becomes too much and the surprise, disbelief and bittersweet happiness just overwhelm her. It's so so sad I can't. I think she can't believe the woman she loves finally kissed her

DON’T DO THIS TO ME! I KNOW!

(x) It’s heartbreaking, truly heartbreaking. And that little nod too… what kills me is that she knows that that “maybe someday” Clarke is talking about will never come for her. She will always belong to her people. But still, she puts on a brave face and smiles because she’s not about to make Clarke feel even worse. That smile to me is a combination of acknowledging Clarke’s hope, of not taking it away with the reality of her situation, and a natural reaction to what Clarke is doing, which is trying to give hope to both. How long has it been since the last time someone tried to comfort Lexa? How long since someone saw her being sad and tried to say or do something that would hopefully lessen her sorrow?

But then there’s the moment right after the smile, which is even more heartbreaking to me.

Because she can’t keep that brave face on. Her smile falters and disappears and all that’s left is this profound sadness that she simply cannot hide. Her eyes are red and glassy with unshed tears. Lexa is sadly used to pushing down her feelings, but this time they’re so strong that she’s not able to. She’s not even able to agree with Clarke, to pretend that everything will turn out for the best for them, for her. She doesn’t say “You’re right, that day will come.” All she can whisper, ironically (sadly) enough almost without hope, is

Finn rant

Okay, here goes. I wanted to take the time to summarize everything that I hate about the Star Wars fandom and it’s treatment of Finn. This is all stuff that has annoyed and in some cases offended me that I’ve had to look at for well over  a year since joining this fandom. This is also everything that I’ve felt like I had to keep my mouth shut about because it seems like most people in the Star Wars fandom have no problem whatsoever with.

If you disagree with me, that’s great, and feel free to message me why. If you feel offended, then unfollow me, because that’s what I’ve been trying to do for over a year.

SEXIST ONE-SHOT?

So the other day, a dear friend of mine told me that the finnreyfridays one-shot we were working on was sexist. Like actually sexist. Do you know why they told me it was sexist? Allow me to answer the question for you.



They told me it was sexist because the plot included Finn saving Rey. That’s why. I didn’t turn Rey into a helpless damsel-in-distress, I didn’t write Rey as a slutty scavenger who flirts with every guy she sees.


I wrote Rey as a skilled Jedi who was ambushed by Kylo Ren and the Knights of Ren on a mission, and simply needed help. That’s it. It’s not an unrealistic situation at all, and Rey still got the upper hand on Kylo Ren. She was in danger and outnumbered, and Finn showed up and helped her.



And it’s became very clear to me that it offended my friend for one reason. That reason was that by simply because my having Finn rescue Rey, I apparently shattered Rey’s character and turned her into a helpless damsel-in-distress….


A few weeks ago there was photoset made by @shropshiregirl79 for finnreyfridays. It was a daily planet au with Finn as superman and Rey as Lois Lane. One of the pictures showed Rey in danger and Finn rescuing her, carrying her in his arms. Someone got mad about that and said they made Rey into a damsel-in-distress. 

Another situation arose where someone posted artwork of Finn and Rey as an old-style movie, with Finn a detective pointing a gun at someone while Rey clung to him. Once again, someone got mad and said it turned Rey into a damsel-in-distress. 

It’s become so taboo in this fandom just to have Finn saving, or even protecting Rey without people (probably white feminists) getting mad at it. Why is that? Is Finn’s only role only to be put in peril for Rey to rescue?

And if you’re one of the people who gets mad about that, let me ask you a question.
Would you be mad if it was Finn?



TROOPER IN DISTRESS

Here’s the deal. I joined the fandom well over a year ago. I can safely say I’ve read about

thirty to forty fics

where at some point,

Finn is inevitably captured or put in peril, and rescued by Rey or Poe.

I’ve seen

finnrey shippers

who supposedly love and appreciate Finn, joke around and call

Finn a damsel-in-distress (or trooper-in-distress)

and talk about how Rey does nothing but save him over and over, and everyone laughs and jokes about it.



I’ve read fics where on the off-chance that Finn does risk his life to save Rey, he gets criticized for it because he was being

RECKLESS and Rey HAD IT UNDER CONTROL. Seriously? Finn can’t even save Rey without it involving him being stupid or catching hell or it? 

It’s always, “Finn why did you do that?! You could’ve died!” instead of “Wow Finn thank you for saving me, I’m glad you’re okay. That was pretty brave.”

But nope. Can’t even have that. 

I’ve read fics where Finn is flat out tied up and gagged.

I’ve read a fics where Finn is captured, beaten, stripped down and hosed and left in a cell shivering in the corner helpless, wishing that Rey or Poe was there to save him (but it’s okay because ta-da they come to his rescue).

I’ve read a fic where the entire thing was just worshiping Rey. Literally. It’s Poe’s pov during a battle, and Finn is basically getting beat up and dragged away by stormtroopers, by the way that’s his entire role in the fic, just to get his ass kicked. He doesn’t do anything else.
So Finn’s getting beat up, and the rest of the fic is Poe being completely ENAMORED left in AWE by Rey’s amazing flawless skills fighting through the stormtroopers and kicking ass left and right and looking SOOO beautiful and graceful with her lightsaber and she rescues Finn and Poe thanks her and thanks her over and over again. 

That’s the entire fic. Kissing Rey’s ass and kicking Finn’s. And guess what? The readers ate that shit up. They loved it. 

So let me sum it up again. Finn can get beat up by stormtroopers, captured thousands of times, stripped, tortured, hosed down, and left shivering in a corner basically crying for Poe and Rey like bait, and people say that they appreciate Finn’s character for this? This is okay to everyone?

Yet if I write a one shot where Rey is outnumbered, defeats Kylo Ren but is then outnumbered and Finn comes to save her, then I’m destroying Rey’s character? Then I don’t appreciate her character? Then the entire one-shot is sexist garbage based on turning Rey into a damsel in distress?


Apparently so. Thanks fandom. 

Again, I’ve been putting up with this for over a year, and it took a lot of time for me to actually muster up the courage to rant about it. If this offends you, you’re probably apart of the problem.



Finnamon Roll?


Okay, another major trend I’m sick of is the constant EMASCULATION OF FINN. 
Let me sum up Finn’s character.  He suffers from trauma. He was taken away as a baby and raised to be a ruthless killing machine. He endured 20+ years of brainwashing, propaganda, and conditioning. He had no friends whatsoever (SLIP WAS NOT HIS FRIEND). He was the best stormtrooper cadet in his unit. He almost never missed a shot with a blaster. He was an outcast, and constantly criticized for having a heart.

In TFA, he suffers from trauma, is still an expert shot with a blaster, rescues Poe, keeps Rey from getting shot by stormtroopers, makes a tough decision to leave Rey because he knows what the First Order is capable of, and even begs her to come with him. He comes right back into the fight after seeing Hosnian Prime get destroyed, and is witnesses Rey get kidnapped by his worst nightmare. 
What does he do? He decides to help the Resistance, gives them vital information that only HE knew, volunteers to go to SKB. Captures Phasma and forces her at gunpoint to lower the shields, helps Rey escape from SKB, witnesses Han’s murder, watches Rey get slammed into a tree, before making the final decision to stand up to his worst nightmare, knowing he might die just to protect Rey. His last line in the entire movie is “Come get it.”


After summarizing his character, how come all I see on tumblr is “awwwwww look at my cute smol wittle Finny. He’s so harmless and adorable!!!” Like…excuse me? Is that all tumblr was able to get from that movie? So let me get this straight. Because Finn isn’t a cold-blooded murderer, he’s suddenly nothing but a squishy pile of hearts and flowers and sugar  who couldn’t hurt a fly? Really?

How come in most highschool aus, Finn’s portrayed as an overly-meek or powerless nerd? If anything, Finn would probably be a pretty strong guy who gets straight As and stands up for his friends no matter what. But that doesn’t mean he’s a bully either. 

This is what the fandom does with his character, instead of exploring the endless possibilities with his backstory and trauma. AND on the off-chance that someone writes an actual Finn-centric fic based on his backstory, it’s always just Finn and his stormtrooper buddies having a romance or exploring sex for some reason. We can’t even have a Finn story without it circulating around people he knows. It’s always about someone else at the end of the day.

What’s heartbreaking is that most of the things I’m complaining about happens in the stormpilot and finnrey ships (this is where I expect people to unfollow me). Like come on guys. I could see r/eylos doing this, but not you guys. You’re so much better than that. 


Space Prince Finn (More Emasculation)


Look, when I first heard the idea of Finn being a lost Prince, I was stoked. I was blown away. My reaction was,”Finally! This fandom’s actually given Finn something of his own! He could be royalty! How dope would that be!”

But…of course, this fandom has to take that amazing concept and uh…

Well, we ruined that too. We basically turn Finn into a jewelry stand, and a makeup model. Of course, I’m not saying men can’t wear what they want. If a man wants to wear makeup or wear jewelry, that’s completely fine and I encourage that. But here’s the issue. 

We constantly idolize Princess Leia and Queen/Senator Amidala because they are figures of royalty who can fight and take care of themselves, as well as look badass while they do it. 

So why is it that when we have Prince Finn, he’s once again, emasculated, put in dresses and given nail polish, lipstick, doused in glitter, and turned into a damsel-in-distress who not only needs constant rescue once again, but this time needs Rey/Poe as a bodyguard to protect him?

It’s a double standard. I’m sorry but you can’t praise Leia and Padme for being badass royals who don’t need protection, and turn around and make Finn the opposite. 

And again, it’s something that the fandom eats up for some reason. We’ll shun the Hutt-Slayer bikini (rightfully so. it’s disgusting), make it a point to make fun of the hutt-slayer bikini and constantly criticize it, yet draw Finn in it and everyone thinks it’s cute and hilarious. This is the shit that I’m sick of. 

Look at T’Challa, otherwise known as Black Panther. He is royalty, but he’s also very powerful, knows how to fight, is an amazing fighter, and is taken seriously. Very seriously. He is strong, brave, serious, and intimidating, yet he’s not a bully or a stereotype. 

THIS. THIS is what I expected Prince Finn to be. This is what Prince Finn would be if it were canon. He’d be a strong leader, handsome, noble, powerful, and intimidating. And he wouldn’t need constant protection from Rey and/or Poe. Especially not this constant emasculation and woobifying. 

We live in a day and age where Princesses are being portrayed as stronger and stronger, and are told that they can rescue themselves. So why is Finn being treated the opposite? Why is Finn being treated like he’s just there to look pretty for commissions and make out with Poe? Why does he need all-powerful Rey to always protect him? Why can’t he be taken more seriously?

I want you to think about this.



Deactivating

Okay. This was a lot to cover, and it’s something that’s been nagging at me for a while now. Look. I look up to Finn. I really do. He’s my hero. He’s the first main black lead in Star Wars, and that means the world to me. I want to see him grow and be appreciate and given an epic role moving forward, and I feel like the Star Wars fandom isn’t the place I’m going to find any of that. 



Not a day goes by where I’m not tempted to deactivate and walk away from the fandom entirely. There’s just too much shit Finn is put through that drives me insane. There’s too many things that I look at or read that make me feel like this fandom will never actually appreciate Finn the way the he deserves to be appreciated. Even the people who say that they love Finn tend to do this.



So I wanted to write this rant in case I ever deactivate because of this fandom. Just so you, the readers, can know why.


Thanks for reading. Means a lot. If you’re still wondering when the One-Shot is coming out, probably next week. I have to finish it on my own. 



~Storm



@luminousfinn

@force-2187

@finn-storm-jedi

@lj-writes

@finn-is-a-jedi

@boyega-john

@errrbodylovesfinn 

@finnsajedi​

@diversehighfantasy

@starwarsfandomh8speopleofcolor

@imaswan

fullmetallizard’s fma fic list

I’m not sure how to format this so I’m just wingin’ it. And don’t worry, I’ll tag it “long post”! I’m gonna go newest to oldest! I can be found on Ao3 here.


you knock me out I fall apartEDWIN (T (for Ed’s potty mouth)) oneshot. complete. 

the birth of Ed and Winry’s second child doesn’t go as smoothly as their first leaving Ed fearful and questioning of equivalent exchange. 

i need you so much closer: ALMEI (M) multichaptered, incomplete. tw for miscarriage here. 

Al and Me’s journey into parenthood is much harder (and more painful) than the expected. 

you’re my best friend, and I need you, do you know that?: RIZBECCA (E) oneshot. complete. 

While in the academy, the likelihood of Riza being sent to front lines gets higher everyday. Rebecca is scared to lose her friend. They give each other the closeness they need.

we’ll make the world safe and sound for you: ROYAI, ALMEI, EDWIN. (G) oneshot. complete. 

This was FMA secret santa gift to @lucinasparallelfalchion! Lots of christmasy-little kids being happy feels. 

absorbing everything, the spectrums A to Z: ROYAI (T) 

alphabet series! A-Q are posted. It’s royai and it jumps around from pre-canon, canon, and post-canon

i waited all my life for you, sweet girl: ROYAI (G) oneshot. complete. 

Based on the tumblr prompt request “In didn’t know you could sing.”

you outshine the morning sun…my son: EDWIN (T(for Ed’s mouth)) oneshot. complete.

Ed and Winry welcome their first child into the world as Ed tries not to faint. 

and i’ll shiver like i used to: ROYAI MODERN AU (G) multichaptered. incomplete. (and i’m looking for someone to collab w me on this one)

Roy and Riza dated through high school and college but broke up when he left for grad school. He shows up back in town and heartbreak, chaos, and healing commences. 

just leave me your stardust to remember you by: ROYAI (G) oneshot. complete.

WARNING: CHARACTER DEATH. Riza has to do some healing is the most nonspoilery thing I can say.

please don’t take my sunshine away: ALMEI (G) oneshot. complete. 

“He’d been with her for one assassination attempt when he was eighteen and she was fifteen. They’d fought together and, while it was scary, it was nothing compared to this. Someone had actually gotten to her. Someone hurt her.”

the mother we share will never keep your proud head from falling: ALMEI, EDWIN. (G) oneshot. complete. 

WARNING: CHARACTER DEATH. Al get’s Trisha’s disease. 

please don’t wake me, no, don’t shake me: EDWIN (G) oneshot. complete.

teeny tiny fluff piece.  

your laugh echoes down the hallway: ROYAI (G) oneshot. complete. 

WARNING: CHILD DEATH. Roy and Riza’s daughter comes down with the same sickness as Riza’s father. 

we live through scars this time: EDWIN (T(for Ed’s mouth again, what am I gonna do with him?)) oneshot. complete. 

based on a sketch by @fennethianell! Ed tells Winry about his scars from Baschool

sleep pretty darling, do not cry and I will sing a lullaby: ROYAI (G) multichaptered. incomplete. 

WARNING: CHARACTER DEATH. Person B secretly listening to Person A sing a sweet lullaby to their child every night. After Person A unexpectedly passes away, Person B attempts to sing the same lullaby so their son/daughter, but ends up bursting into tears, much to the child’s confusion.(This was originally a oneshot but then it got out of hand)

never a tear, baby of mine: ALMEI (G) tw for miscarriage. oneshot. complete.

Al and May suffer a loss no one should ever have to.  

your eyes look like coming home: HAVOCAI (i love my tiny canoe) (T bordering on M) multichaptered. complete. 

Jean Havoc’s loyalty is unwavering. That includes his loyalty to his fellow Lieutenant and the changes they experience.

what else should i be? all apologies?: ROYAI (G) oneshot. complete. 

Riza has been missing from Roy’s life for years. When she stumbles back into it, she brings a large secret along with her.

whatever could it be that has brought me to this loss?: EDWIN (G) multichaptered. complete. 

“He took her hand in the dark. “I know,” he said. And he did. He was the only other person who understood the loss of Sara Elric in this magnitude. He was her parent too.”

wishing only wounds the heart: ROYAI (G) oneshot. complete. 

I was sick of drunk!Roy fics so I made a drunk!Riza lmao. Roy takes care of Riza in this. 

a fire baptism engulfs my shame: ROYAI (T) oneshot. complete. 

Roy destroys the secrets of flame alchemy off of Riza’s back.

(I know everyone and their mother has written this same thing but pls give it a glance (: ily )

Alec seeing Magnus’ cat eyes for the first time

“No, don’t.” Alec said. He raised his hands and gently put it on Magnus’. “Don’t do that.” Carefully he led Magnus’ hands away from his eyes and, still holding them, lowered both of their arms together. “Why not?” Magnus asked, his voice trembling. Magnus held on to Alec’s hands, not daring to let go of them because he knew if he did he would hide his eyes again. But clearly Alec wanted to look at them. So he let him, but the warlock wanted to avoid Alec’s stare of potential fear so bad that he couldn’t bring himself to look anywhere else than the ground. “Because you don’t have to. Please just… just look at me.” Alec answered, putting all the gentleness and reassurance he had in this one sentence to make Magnus believe he meant it and there was nothing for him to be ashamed of. He watched Magnus and knew from the look on his face that this was the least thing the warlock wanted to do in that moment. Magnus fought with himself, he knew it, but he also needed to look at him in order for Alec to tell him all the things he wanted to tell him. Then, after a few seconds, Magnus took a deep breath and did the bravest thing he ever did in all the years he lived. He raised his head to look at Alec.

He did it. His hideous warlock mark was exposed in front of one of the few Shadowhunters he ever truly loved. All the wards he built around himself, his soul, his heart, his eyes, removed by a single look at the boy. Magnus was sure he never looked as vulnerable as he did now, standing in the middle of his living room, just looking at the boy he loved so much, his hands shaking while still holding on to Alec’s. He was also never as afraid of someone’s reaction as he was now in this very moment, because thousands of people reacted in the same, humiliating, mortifying way. And he wasn’t sure if he could take another one from someone so close to his heart he didn’t want to ever lose.

Alec’s eyes widened as he fully saw Magnus’ amazing yellow-green cat eyes for the first time. He still held Magnus’ hands and felt them shaking in his. “You’re… they’re… I… I don’t… I’m… ” Alec stammered as he kept on staring at them. His mind just blacked out at the sight of Magnus’ warlock mark that he now stood there and was out of words. He knew he needed to say something, he wanted to say something, he wanted to talk to Magnus so badly and tell him so many things at once, but now he just couldn’t think of anything to say. Even Alec’s jaw now began to drop a tiny bit.

Magnus knew it would be that way. He knew it. Why did he even hope for some other reaction from a Shadowhunter than the usual one. Alec wasn’t as different from the others as he thought in the end. If he would just start talking instead of just standing there and staring at him, obviously shocked. If he would just show his fear, his disgust like everyone else did. Magnus couldn’t take the silence any longer. He felt his eyes start to tear up, the last thing he needed right now. He hated to cry in front of people. He bit his lip and hoped it would help, but it didn’t. “Please, Alec. Say something.” Magnus nearly whispered and only barely managed to not let his voice break. “Say anything, but just please stop this silence.”

“I’m trying Magnus, I really am.” Alec answered. He took a second to clear his thoughts. “But… your eyes, they… they look so…” He stopped. He searched for the right word to say. Good, great, amazing, wonderful, stunning. None of these words seemed to fit to describe the beauty that was his boyfriend’s mark. Suddenly, a tear started to roll down Magnus’ cheek. “Ugly? Hideous? Unnatural?” Magnus ended Alec’s sentence, his voice shaky. He freed his hands out of Alec’s grip and let them hang loose at his sides. Blinking away tears he met Alec’s eyes, who was now looking at him even more shocked than before. “There’s nothing I haven’t heard yet, Alec. I believe I know what you’re thinking. So go on. Tell me how hideous I am. Tell me I’m a monster. Tell me you don’t want to have anything to do with a filthy demon spawn.” Magnus balled his hands into fists, desperately trying to prevent himself from crying even more. But nothing worked. “Do you think I haven’t seen that exact reaction hundreds of times before? Do you think I don’t know people are acting nice but are actually scared of me? I might act like I don’t care but do you know what? It hurts. It hurts somewhere deep inside me and it already hurt more times than I could count.” Tears were now streaming down his face, he didn’t look at Alec anymore, avoided eye contact because he felt so ashamed of himself once again, and this time it was even worse because it was his dear Alexander. As he spoke the next sentence, his voice finally started cracking. “I thought you were different. Different from all your Shadowhunter friends who think they’re oh so better than everyone else. Who don’t have a problem with calling me “Warlock” as if it were the filthiest curse word, who don’t even really look at me once they’ve seen my mark, who don’t consider for one second that I might as well have something like feelings. You’re all just the same.”

Alec went utterly silent, honestly shocked of what Magnus just said. He wanted to hold him, kiss him and tell him he wasn’t like that. He wanted to heal the broken part of Magnus’ soul, wanted him to forget all the words people insulted him with, all the heartbreaks. He wanted to tell him his eyes were the most beautiful thing he ever saw. That was the word he was searching for before. Beautiful. Alec reached out his hands to take Magnus’ again and tell him all of that, but just as he was about to move closer to him and start talking, Magnus flinched away from his touch. “That’s… that’s not true, Magnus. Believe me.” Alec began, his hand still stretched out a few inches in front of Magnus’.

“You know it’s true. And it’s horrible. Every single time it’s horrible.” Magnus answered in a chocked voice. “Ever since I was a kid and my mother killed herself after she saw them the first time, I hated showing them to anyone.” He pointed at his eyes. “Even my own mother thought I’m a monster. And there were many after her that thought and still think the same. Now even the boy I thought I could trust.” He hated it, but right in the moment he looked at Alec as he said the last sentence, everything came crushing down on him. All the insults, the hurt he always tried to conceal with witty remarks and so many more buried pain he had to bare because he was what he was and he had what he had.

“Don’t you dare say that, Magnus!” Alec couldn’t take it any longer and grabbed his boyfriend’s shoulders. “You’re wrong.” There followed a silence where just Magnus’ sniffling was audible. Alec reached up to Magnus’ face to carefully wipe a tear away that slowly made its way down his right cheek, where Alec let his hand rest. Magnus closed his eyes and lowered his head. “I don’t think your cat eyes are hideous Magnus. They’re part of who you are. And people who won’t accept that are stupid. Don’t you dare think I would be disgusted or afraid or anything of you. Don’t you dare ever think that!” “You… you really mean that?” Magnus asked after he processed what Alec just said, his eyes still closed. “Yes I do.” Magnus’ mouth formed itself into a little relieved smile, he again could feel tears coming up. But now they were happy tears. His boyfriend did actually accept who he was, he couldn’t believe it.

Magnus was so incredibly happy, he put his hand over Alec’s on his cheek and let himself draw closer to Alec. He felt Alec putting his other hand under his chin. “Open your eyes my dear.” he said and raised Magnus’ chin up so that he was looking at Alec when he opened his eyes a few moments later. “You actually mean that, Alexander?” Magnus asked quietly, only to convince himself even more. “Yes.” “You really do?” “Magnus I assure you, I swear by the Angel, I mean it.” Magnus was still red- and wet eyed, but he grinned. A vow to the Angel. From a Shadowhunter. That was something. But just to be really sure, he narrowed his eyes and asked again. “By what angel?”

“Dear god, Magnus.” Alec now grinned too. He put his other hand on Magnus’ left cheek, so that the warlock’s face was cupped and looked him deep in the eyes. “I swear, on the Angel Raziel, that I, Alexander Gideon Lightwood, accept you, Magnus Bane, High Warlock of Brooklyn, as you are. You have cat eyes and that’s okay. You don’t ever have to be ashamed, and you better don’t ever think that I hate them again, because I don’t. Is that good enough of an oath to you?” Magnus looked very serious during Alec’s vow, but began to smile again now and that was all Alec needed to know it was good enough.

“It was. It really was Alexander. And I swear I will never let myself believe again that you wouldn’t accept who I am.” He put his hands on Alec’s hip, and because Alec still cupped his face, he didn’t have any other choice but to look at Alec and smile at him. He felt Alec moving closer to him, but before he could bend down to kiss him, Magnus had to get another thing off his chest. A few weeks ago, he had told Alec that he unlocked something in Magnus but he wasn’t aware that the Shadowhunter boy he didn’t even know that long, managed to unlock parts of Magnus’ soul he didn’t show anyone but himself before. “Alexander… you should know though, that until this day, I try really hard to accept my mark. Some days I don’t have a problem with showing them, at least when I’m not around mundanes. But there are some days where I just hate them. Especially after someone once again showed me what he thinks of them. Be it through looks or through insults. On those days I hate them so incredibly much because all they ever did was bring me pain. That’s why I mostly glamour them, why I didn’t show them to you from the beginning. That’s why I didn’t want you to see them, because I was sure the minute you’d see them you would end all of this. As so many before you did. But you didn’t and I’m forever incredibly grateful for that. But Alexander, the truth is that I doubt I’ll ever fully accept my mark. You know, my cat eyes, they are…” “… beautiful.” Alec quietly ended the sentence.

Alec ended Magnus’ sentence with the one word he thought would ever be remotely accurate to  describe the yellow-green colouring of the irises and the perfectly slit-shaped pupils of his boyfriend’s eyes. A moment later, the most amazing eyes he ever saw widened and the pupils thickened a tiny bit. “They’re… they’re what?” Magnus asked surprised. Did he just not get that right or did Alec just say his eyes were… beautiful? His mark has been called many things, many many things, but never beautiful. Interesting, fascinating, captivating, those were some of the best things they’ve been called by people who actually liked Magnus. But beautiful was utterly new. And unexpected. Very very unexpected. Magnus stared at Alec with disbelief in his wide open eyes.

“You don’t believe me, do you?” Alec asked gently, stroked the warlock’s left cheek with his thumb and watched Magnus slowly shake his head afterwards. “No one ever called them that Alexander. No one. Not once. I didn’t think anyone would ever do. I don’t even believe it myself, how should anyone else ever think that?” he said sadly, his grip on Alec’s hips getting tighter to remind himself he’s actually there and actually just said that. He watched as Alec moved his head closer to his and felt his hands moving down to Magnus’ shoulder again. And there it was. The smile he loved so incredibly much. The gentle tiny, light-up-the-world Alec-smile. “Oh Magnus.” Alec whispered, if to himself or to Magnus, he didn’t know.  

There was now barely any space left beween them and the remaining space got filled with Alec gently resting his forehead against Magnus’. Alec holding Magnus by the shoulders and Magnus holding Alec by the hips, their foreheads touching they stood there for a few moments, just looking at each other, until Alec cleared his throat and whispered “They’re so so beautiful, they’re… you’re so beautiful.” Alec brought his head even closer to Magnus’ than it already was and had his lips now nearly touching Magnus’. They both let their lips hovering over each others for a few hearbeats. “My god, you’re so beautiful.” Alec whispered against Magnus’ lips and finally, finally kissed him.

They kissed once before, at Alec’s almost-wedding with Lydia. But that kiss was totally utterly different to the one they shared now. The wedding kiss was fierce, intense and full of desire from both of them. The kiss now was slow, gentle, intense in a whole other meaning. Alec was so incredibly tender, he wanted Magnus to know how ridiculously in love he was with him, wanted him to believe everything he just said through that kiss. They both could feel each others heart beat, Alec realizing that right now, in that moment, both their hearts beat as one. It felt like they shared one heart together, which Alec was sure, was actually the case from now on. Magnus felt it too and was taken aback in the best way he could imagine, that after all those years, he finally found true love again. And not only true love. He found someone who would fight with him against any evil in this world and he couldn’t describe to anyone how happy and grateful he was for that.

They both weren’t sure how much time had passed during the kiss, but they were both still standing, Alec now cupping Magnus’ face again and both of them not wanting to move their head away from the other. Alec started to whisper against Magnus’ lips again. “You’re so beautiful Magnus.” “You already said that.” Magnus whispered back and smiled, he now cupped Alec’s face too. “I know but… it seemed worth repeating. And I will repeat it over and over again until you believe it. And even then I will tell you again and again.” “You’re so sure I will eventually believe it?” Magnus asked. He honestly wanted to know if someone could actually do that. “I will help you to.” Alec answered and brushed his lips against Magnus’. “You know why?” “Why?” “Because…” Alec placed a kiss on the edge of Magnus’ mouth. “… you should know you’re beautiful…” Another kiss on Magnus’ left cheekbone. “… just the way you are.” A third one on the edge of his mouth again. Alec closed his eyes. “Magnus Bane, you are the most beautiful human being there ever was and ever will be. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. The people who don’t appreciate you don’t deserve to even be in your presence. They don’t deserve you, because you are so kind, so loving, and so incredibly optimistic even after living so long. They don’t deserve you, because you deserve the universe. You don’t know it, but I do.”

“My dear Alexander, how do I deserve you?” Magnus asked in a husky voice, being very moved from Alec’s little speech. “I just told you. You needed someone to tell you the truth.” Magnus let out a sigh and pulled Alec into a tight hug, because right now he didn’t have any other idea what to do. “I know and I thank you a thousand times for that. But I have to note one thing. You said ‘human being’…” “Yes, and?” “You know I’m a warlock. I’m not a human being.” “Technically, yes. But not to me. To me you are exactly what I said.” Alec answered and buried his face in Magnus’ neck. “I wish I knew how to find the words to describe to you what this all means to me. Until I find them, thank you. Just thank you, Alexander.” He began to stroke Alec’s hair and felt the boy smile against his shoulder. “And I promise you, no glamouring of my cat eyes anymore when we’re together. Because a certain someone told me I don’t have to change myself. And I won’t.” he added and began to smile himself. As an answer, Alec squeezed him a little tighter for a second.

So they stood there for a few minutes, until Alec started asking questions like “What happens if you’re pissed? Do your pupils then get three times their normal size? Oh my god, can you see in the dark?” and some more. Magnus had to get himself a glass of wine. He was in the middle of pouring him a glass in as he heard Alec shout from the living room “Will you ever stop drinking?” “I don’t think so, Alexander.” he answered and grinned.

In Defense of The Field

The Field Where I Died is widely considered one of the worst episodes of The X Files. It’s also one of my favourites. 

It’s forty minutes of unadulterated aesthetic joy. Golden hour light, velvety shadows, dark wood and stained glass windows. Wet-plate collodion prints of guys named Sullivan. A swelling Snow soundtrack and a Browning recitation. Mulder and Scully traipsing around the tall grass in heavy boots and riot gear (be still, my heart!). And through it all, we have our dynamic duo doing what they do best. 

They’re constantly violating each other’s personal bubble, whispering into each other’s mouths, hovering and touching and passing notes. Mulder has a great little tantrum - you were THERE, Scully - and she accuses him (rightfully) of endangering people with his selfishness. They wrestle and butt heads and tug at their own ends of the rope, but when shit starts to go down, Scully sticks by her man. She doesn’t sell him out to Skinner. She supports him during his regression. She listens to him. Dana Katherine Scully is, as the kids say, ride or die, and it’s part of why I love her. Despite the plotline, we’ve got that subtle MSR we all thrive on coming out of the ears. 

But despite my adoration for this episode, I understand why it gets so much flak. Kristin Cloke’s acting is jarring and strange. Her accents are janky. We have a hard time caring about her, because she cuts such a ridiculous, distracting figure. Duchovny is doing The Most - and, if I can make a confession here, I find his cryface kind of hilarious rather than heartbreaking. And Scully just finds those goddamn photos too easily. 

But I think the real reason for all the hatred hinges on one thing - there’s a strong implication that Mulder and Scully are not, in a romantic sense, soulmates. 

We’re all inclined to want to believe that there will only ever be Scully for Mulder, Mulder for Scully. But what I adore so much about these two, what keeps me coming back for more, is the fact that their love transcends romance. They have a deep respect, a profound friendship, a sacred, supernatural connection and dedication to one another. They are soulmates in this and every life - even if it doesn’t manifest in romantic-sexual entanglement. 

I also have an inkling that Carter perhaps thinks of romantic-sexual love as base, as something somehow below his virtuous Scully and his heroic Mulder. Their cerebral pursuits are far more interesting to him than their physical ones, which, I believe, is why their love at this point has been almost courtly - “a love at once illicit and morally elevating, passionate and disciplined, humiliating and exalting, human and transcendent.” (Francis Newman’s definition). And let’s be real here. We love that shit. 

My headcanon has room for a Civil War romance with Sarah Kavanaugh. It also has room for Scully as Mulder’s father, as his Sergeant, as his lover, as his partner. The subtext of this episode is that, in every life, Scully is a necessity for Mulder. Their connection isn’t dependent on romantic and sexual involvement in every lifetime. In whatever life they’re living, she is his constant, his touchstone. And Mulder is hers. They are cosmically pair-bonded in every possible way, through all time, regardless of whether they’re actively making the beast with two backs. And that’s why this episode one of my favourites. I think it strengthens their relationship, instead of weakening it. Affirms it while trying to deny it. And that’s that. 

Me: wow what a busy day time for sleep now good rest up nite nite

My Brain: do you ever think about how Charlie Kelly’s mom’s OCD affected him? Like, him as a little boy, watching her suffering and obsessing over his health and safety? It must have been so frightening and frustrating to him as a child, trying to understand why she was doing the rituals and why she was so upset, and it adds context to his self-destructive behaviors. Not only are they coping mechanisms – for a variety of traumas – but they’re also acts of rebellion. By destroying himself, the very thing his mother fears the most, he is subconsciously – or consciously – taking control of a situation he could never control as a child. Him avoiding her calls is not just Charlie being insensitive or a dick, it’s him avoiding the repetitive trauma of being the focus of his mother’s illness, and his rebellion against it by destroying himself is far deeper and more heartbreaking than it initially appears, certainly more complex than just, “lol he’s white trash and he huffs chemicals.”

Me:

Originally posted by its-always-sunny-in-baker-street

10

I’m usually not one for long posts but this has been an awfully good year for me. Yes, it’s had it low points but the good of this year definitely out weighs the bad. I got to live in the mountains this summer. Meet and make friends with people all over the world that I’m still in contact with and have plans set up to visit them soon. I fell in love. Had my first heartbreak and found love again. I got to travel with someone that means the world to me and fall in love even more. My company turned 1 this year! I went vegan and have never been so happy in my entire life. I think the most important lesson I’ve learned this year is to let things happen naturally. What’s meant to be will be and you just have to go with the flow and enjoy life. Each person I met this year taught me a lesson and for that I’m thankful. I’m so excited for this next year. Traveling more, loving more, being more selfish with my time, reading more, writing more, and living more in the moment. Hope everyone has a fun New Years Eve! Stay safe ☺️ P.S. what was your guys favorite moment/memory of 2016?? 

hey mom and dad (my coming out letter to my parents)

I debated sharing this on tumblr for a while, but figured if someone is struggling coming out to their conservative parents, there’s a chance this could help. I wrote a letter as not to put them on the spot, to allow them their own time to process it, and to give them a tangible part of myself so they could not dismiss it in conversation.

Please feel free to message me if you have questions or want advice in talking to your parents. I’m more than happy to share more of my story with you.


“As you both know, I’m much better at expressing myself through writing than in person. So even though we talked about some important things at dinner the other night, the topic that was intended to be covered was not. I was already feeling tense and nervous and had put a lot of pressure on myself, and for sharing something this personal I didn’t want the energy to be negative. There was also a lot of anticipation from everyone at the table and I didn’t want that to add to the possible ‘shock factor’ or put anyone on the spot.

The more I learn about human patterns and behavior, the more I learn about how willing people are to conform to social norms, conscious or not. Sometimes things that seem petty can be so influential on a person’s identity and sense of self without them even realizing it. I think it’s apparent that I have grown to the point of critically analyzing the way things are instead of accepting them at face value. I’m still making progress in this area, but being aware that the world’s expectations of me are not always who I am has helped me learn some things about myself that never seemed like viable options.

You have both witnessed the boys I have dated growing up and I know you weren’t all that crazy about any of them. Honestly neither was I- but I’m sure that was pretty apparent. I’d never experienced the heartbreak that I saw [my sister] experience with her relationships. I never really went through the typical teenage-girl “boy crazy” phase.  Mom, you’ve told me with every boyfriend that I’m a heartbreaker because of my apathy in the relationship. The most I’ve been hurt by other people is when friendships end- not when romantic relationships have ended. Of course, many things are factors of my lack of caring when it comes to boyfriends, but I think one of the main ones is just that I don’t want to date boys. And I don’t know if I ever really have, or if that was a reflection of me trying to find my place in society- conforming to what the world expects from me.

Then I met [my best friend, a man], who is essentially everything I thought I wanted in a boyfriend at the time. And yet I still could not bring myself to date him. There was still something missing aside from our personal compatibility. I value how close my friendship with him is and I want the best for him, but I have no desire to be his girlfriend or to have him as my boyfriend, or to have a boyfriend. I don’t know if you know where this is going yet, or if you are surprised at all by this statement, but I don’t want to date men. I want to date women (want to, lol. I’m still alone). That is who I am.

I’m the same person I was before you read this- the only thing that has changed is me deciding it’s time to open up to you. I love and appreciate you and the support you have shown me through the years and I hope you can still see me as me and not as a label. The only difference you can expect is for me to be more comfortable in being myself around you and not feeling like I have to hide a part of myself from you.”


side note: I left this letter in their room then left the country for a week where I had no service. not even sorry lol

Epic Movie (Re)Watch #112 - The Prince of Egypt

Originally posted by dreamworksmoments

Spoilers Below

Have I seen it before: Yes

Did I like it then: Yes.

Do I remember it: Yes.

Did I see it in theaters: No.

Format: DVD

1) The head of Jeffrey Katzenberg, the head of Dreamworks animation at the time and one of the former big wigs at Disney, had been pitching an adaptation of Moses’ story from Exodus to Disney far before he started Dreamworks with Steven Spielberg. During an early meeting of Dreamworks Katzenberg recalls that Spielberg looked at him during the meeting and said, “You ought to do The Ten Commandments.”

2) I think the opening disclaimer is a nice touch.

“The motion picture you are about to see is an adaptation of the Exodus story. While artistic and historical license has been taken, we believe that this film is true to the essence, values and integrity of a story that is a cornerstone of faith for millions of people worldwide. The biblical story of Moses can be found in the book of Exodus.”

3) Music plays an incredibly important role in this film, mostly for setting its grand storytelling and dark tone. This is clearly apparent from the opening song “Deliver Us” which depicts the suffering of the Hebrew people in Egypt and also the hope of Moses.

Originally posted by holden-caulfieldlings

4) This film also does an excellent job of immediately establishing the brotherly relationship between Moses and Ramses. It’s fun and honest, which makes the following events all the more heartbreaking.

Originally posted by somehow-you-will

5) Val Kilmer is quite effective in the role of Moses, being able to provide a healthy balance of his youthful joviality and privilege early on and the wisdom that would come to define the character later.

6) This film has three noteworthy actors who have very little lines. The first two of these are Patrick Stewart as Pharaoh Seti and Helen Mirren as The Queen.

Originally posted by ofallingstar

Neither of them sing, so their lines are few and unfortunately Mirren feels wasted in the part (less of a comment on her acting, which is top notch as usual, and more from the lack of screen time). Stewart, however, gives Seti some depth. We see him as father and ruler, both roles where he cares about his people, but also murderer of Hebrew babies which gives him a sinister feel.

7) Moses could have been painted as a spoiled brat while acting as prince of Egypt, but he takes responsibility for his actions and mistakes while also trying to shield Ramses from some of their father’s heavy expectations.

8) Tzipporah is established as fierce as heck from the get go.

Originally posted by spypartygifs-blog

Kept as a foreign slave in her first scene, she still fights back with great vigor despite being in a room who don’t care if she dies by the hands of the pharaoh. Michelle Pfeiffer imparts some of the strength she brought to Catwoman into the part and it’s a wonderful take on the biblical figure.

9) Sandra Bullock may have more lines than Helen Mirren, Patrick Stewart, and (later) Danny Glover, but for some reason I’m always wanting more of her and her character Miriam by the time the film ends. I like what I see, I just wish there were more of her in the film (I think).

Originally posted by holden-caulfieldlings

10) For some reason I don’t feel the way about her brother Aaron, who is voiced wonderfully by Jeff Goldblum. That may be because we see Aaron develop from non-believer to believer over the course of the film (wheres Miriam is consistently good and believing in Moses) and Jeff Goldblum plays both the doubter and the supporter well.

Originally posted by radioactivelizzy

11) Continuing with the excellent music in this film, “All I Ever Wanted,” carries with it that sense of grandeur as well as the heartbreak of Moses denying his true heritage.

12) Moses’ nightmare is one of the most memorable non-musical sequences out of the film (not THE most memorable but one of them), and this is done both through the unique hieroglyphic art style and the lack of dialogue. It is true visual storytelling.

13) Remember how I said Tzipporah is fierce as heck? Well, that continues throughout the film when she decides to drop Moses into a well as a bit of payback for being a prince of Egypt (although she does help him out because he helped her escape the palace).

14) Danny Glover is the third actor who doesn’t have enough lines. He plays the role of Jethro, a character with about ten spoken lines (more or less) and then the rest of his role is in song. And Danny Glover doesn’t sing the song.

Originally posted by holden-caulfieldlings

In the little dialogue Glover does give though, he is able to establish Jethro as a man who’s heart is as big as his stature. I just wish we’d heard more of him.

15) I mentioned in The Road to El Dorado the effectiveness of using a song to cover large gaps of time. This film is no different, initial with Jethro’s song “Through Heavens Eyes.” It’s a rousing and hopeful number which talks of the Hebrew god and how we can only know our worth when trying to look through (one guess what I’m going to say next) heaven’s eyes. In that time we cover Moses learning what a free life is from these people, his growing humility, and his blossoming relationship with Tzipporah (and eventual marriage).

Originally posted by holden-caulfieldlings

16) The Burning Bush.

Val Kilmer provides the voice of god in this film, although that wasn’t the initial plan. Originally all the actors in the film were going to voice god at the same time, and were told to whisper so they wouldn’t overpower each other. When the time came to record Kilmer’s lines, they realized someone had to speak louder. It was a happy realization, as the filmmakers later noted that god usually speaks to us as the little voice in our own heads. And it parallels the Cecil B. Demille version of The Ten Commandments where it is said (although I don’t think confirmed) that Charlton Heston also provided the voice of god while also playing Moses.

17) Moses telling Tzipporah about his encounter with the burning bush is another fine example of how filmmaking is primarily a VISUAL medium. We don’t hear a word they saw to each other, but we see him talking and we see her reaction and we know EXACTLY what is happening.

Originally posted by quaslmodo

18) Ralph Fiennes performance as Ramses is at its best when Ramses becomes villainous and conceited. Hmm, Ralph Fiennes playing a villainous and conceited villain. Sounds familiar…

Originally posted by yerr-a-wizard-harry

19) Playing with the Big Boys is the only real villain song in this film.

Performed by the evil lackeys Hotep and Huy (who are voiced wonderfully by Steve Martin and Martin Short respectively), the song shows off just how dark things in the Egypt really are and how tricky these two “magicians” are. Martin and Short breathe wonderful life and evil fun into the song, and even recorded their dialogue together. And the scenes uses wonderful use of darkness and shadows to make us feel like Moses is in over his head. Which in a way, he is. But the film wouldn’t be interesting if things were easy for the protagonist.

20) The growing conflict between Moses and Ramses is heartbreaking and I give credit to all those involved in this film for that. The directors, the writers, the animators, Val Kilmer & Ralph Fiennes, everyone. We see them go from the best of friends to archenemies and neither of them wants to be in that position. But they are, and they each think they’re doing what is best for their people. It hurts a lot to watch.

21) “The Plagues” is also a great example of how this film condenses what could have been a massive chunk of time into a little two-and-a-half minute song.

It also does not make light of the plagues either. The plagues were horrible. True wrath of god type stuff that ruined people’s lives. And this song is an epic but dark representation of just what those were like while also developing the conflict between Moses and Ramses.

22) I’m not as familiar with my biblical readings as maybe I should be, but I like that this film depicts Moses reaching out to Ramses one last time before he releases the final plague. It is one final reminder that they are or, more appropriately, were brothers. And they almost seem to understand each other, to make peace. But they don’t. Meaning the final and most awful plague is released.

23) I don’t want to get into my own theological beliefs or philosophies, but I am always sickened about the death of the first borns of Egypt.

The scene is animated beautifully but the entire thing is heartbreaking. The idea of a god who will take away the lives of children just to get what he wants, even though he later claims that we are all his children, just never sits right with me. I just…it sickens me. That’s all I can say. It sickens me.

24) “When You Believe” is probably THE song from this film. It won the Oscar for best original song that year, beating out “I Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing” by Aerosmith. It is the perfect representation of the power of hope and belief which is the central theme of this film. Michelle Pfeiffer and Sally Dworsky (along with the film’s chorus) do an excellent job performing the song written by Stephen Schwartz, but the pop version performed by Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey is just as good.

Originally posted by holden-caulfieldlings

25) I think the most memorable part of this film has to be the parting of the Red Seas. And it could just be for this image alone:

Originally posted by neverlandpixy

That is such a powerful image which really gets across the wonder of what we’re seeing. A representation of the scene which few if any adaptations of the Exodus story have ever lived up to and which I think only animation can bring to life so wonderfully.

26) After the Red Sea crashes down and Ramses is washed away, we see Moses looking off in the distance and hear Ramses screaming, “MOSES!” The filmmakers have suggested that this may be in Moses’ head and that Ramses might actually be dead. I like that idea. It shows Moses still has hope for his brother.

27) And since this is an adaptation of Exodus, of course it has to involve the Ten Commandments in some way. I’m just glad that it’s the last shot of the film. A nice way of ending the story.

It makes sense to end a family film there, as opposed to Moses finding his people worshipping a false idol (a golden cow, I think) and smashing the tablet before God destroys the idol and forces his people to wander the desert for 40 years to kill off the rebellious generation. Oh, and Moses didn’t get to go into the promised land.

(GIF originally posted by @rocktheholygrail)

What’s not family friendly about that?


The Prince of Egypt is a great animated film who’s popularity has unfortunately lost steam in recent years. It represents its story well without beating you over the head with the religion, the animation and music are gorgeous, and the voice acting is top notch (if a little wasted at times). I highly recommend you see it.

13 Reasons Why

13 reasons why fucked me up bad. Since the time they said that she slit her wrists and bled to death I kept imagining it and it was painful but I wasn’t expecting to actually see it. It’s so real. No filters. When her heart was beating fast and she was breathing so hard I felt like it was happening to me and then when she slit her wrists and the blood started pouring and she screamed I felt like someone put a dagger in my heart. And my god, when her parents walked in, and her mom kept saying that she was okay, and that look on her dad’s face, it killed me. That’s the most heartbreaking thing that could happen to anyone.
Hannah was so fucking strong. She just wanted to be happy and she tried so hard to be happy. She overlooked the shit that happened to her over and over again and gave the world so many chances. She didn’t give up easily at all. That’s what’s so sad, she tried again and again and made fresh starts again and again hoping that at least one person would be true to her. She didn’t give up on everyone just because one person wronged her, instead she gave every person a chance and started over with a clean slate. She wasn’t the kind of person who only saw the bad, overlooking everything good in her life. She was desperate for just one thing to cling on to, just one good thing, just one person. Every time someone did or said something remotely nice to her, she thought maybe this time it will be different, maybe this person will be different and she wanted to give them a chance. You could see that in her smile. She didn’t give up hope easily. She was ready to start over after so many boys and girls wronged her, even after she got raped, she was still ready to start over and that’s incredible, and frankly quite unimaginable to me. She was just looking for one ray of hope. One. And it’s true what they say in the show, even if one thing had gone right, even if one person stood by her side, Hannah Baker would have been alive.

tiny little kisses.

when i was first to wake
i would gently place
a tiny little kiss
upon your face

i loved you most
when you were dreaming
of me

it must have been a monday

i felt you walking into the café
your eyes, adjusting to the light
reminiscent of my favorite sight

do you still dream of me?

i think you loved me most
before i stopped writing poems
before i lost myself and fell
out of touch in the moment

i couldn’t focus on the present
while distracted by the past
i’ve come to regret it
looking back

i’m sorry
if i let it
eat our love alive

there you were, on a monday
freshly risen from your sleep

the first thought
that came to me
were all of the times
i used to wake
and gently place
a kiss
upon your face

such a tiny little thing
to miss

i think i love you most
whenever i’m writing poems

i find
myself and
fall in love with
tiny little moments
i never knew i’d miss

i never thought i’d have to
keep a kiss from your cheek

i never thought you’d leave

but i just couldn’t
see that half of
the problem
was me

it must have been a monday
you waltzed in, wearing sun rays
a flower in the garden, blooming
just after eight in the morning

do you still dream of me?

i think you still love me
maybe it’s just dormant
but i can’t help you find it

eventually, you’ll realize
that it’s all about timing
and maybe it’ll be too late
when the feeling arises

but i know one thing:
it’s the tiny little moments
that you’ll come to miss
and the tiny little kisses
that i used to give

maybe you’ll love me
most when i stop
writing for you

I love doing love readings. That might be surprising, because many readers, especially those in the witchy/pagan/magical/whatever communities have a distaste for them (although the aversion to love readings is not limited to that group by any means).

But for me, love readings are my favourite kind to do. I do readings on upcoming relationships, readings on hypothetical relationships, on heartbreak and rejection. 

Like many, “How do they feel about me?” is probably the question I get asked most often, and I love answering it. 

Maybe that’s because I think it’s one of my strong points as a reader. I’m good at love readings. Things just seem clearer and more in focus for me when I’m reading on love and relationships. Doing love readings for others is what built up my confidence as a reader in those early days.

Maybe it’s just because I love love. I spent ten years working exclusively with a love goddess, and I’ve always a certain affinity for matters of the heart. I look at the entire world through shipper goggles.

I can’t say for sure, but I can say that I’m always happy to do a love reading.

Originally posted by therainbowoverme

That being said, I also love reading for more spiritual purposes as well. 

One of the first spreads I ever made was to help a friend figure out her spiritual and magical path, and I’ve been doing readings on both for many people ever since then. 

Divination is a big part of my life, and my life is one that is spiritual and magical. So it makes sense that I would love the place where they intersect. 

This is an area I’m even trying to push myself further in, to find new ways and new depths I can explore to help others (and myself!) find their paths, or at least find their footing.

I’m excited when I can help new people, or when I can find new ways to reach out for others.

Originally posted by jihen

Anyway, I’m curious about what particular areas y’all most enjoy reading for! I’m going to tag a few people I’m hoping will respond, but everyone please feel free to jump in with a reply or a new post about this if you’re willing to share!

@forscryingoutloud @grimoire-of-geekery @shelbymelissa @swampseer @upyrica @goneintheriver @msbrujacarolina @thegodthief @benegesserit

anonymous asked:

I understand what you're saying but my issue is that not everyone reacts the same way to these kind of twists, and at least for e personally they have already kind of ruined the character with this twist, it doesn't really matter that he didn't actually know he had been the killer until the end, this doesn't have a believable good resolution or a not-problematic way in which CS can continue on, how can Emma ever move on from this and live with the man who killed her grandfather? (cont.)

(2/2) It may be good drama yes, but it’s definitely not good for their relationship and certainly not conducive to relationship development, and if for some reason they decide to have Hook not tell them for more than two episodes, which frankly seems likely, it will be even worse, I just can’t see a way in which they can not damage the relationship ala Rumbelle and the fake dagger. And for sure I don’t see Killian ever forgiving himself for this one which adds to the heartbreak

OK, let me start off by saying of course everyone is entitled to their own opinion but in this case I literally could not disagree with yours more.

There is nothing “problematic” about this storyline and its potential resolutions. Killian did nothing out of character when he killed David’s father. In fact, he did the most quintessentially piratey thing a pirate could do on land. You’re only seeing it as unforgivable because it was David’s father. Which uses a fact Killian could not possibly have known at the time of the event to define the event.

No. Don’t do that.

Knowing he was pirate is one thing. Hearing him talk about having regrets about things he’d done (the story of the rings) ratcheted it up a notch. But this–this is going to force Killian and everyone in his life–and by delicious extension the audience–to confront it, deal with it on a primal level, and put it to rest once and for all.

I am SO HERE FOR THAT!!!

If there is no room for forgiveness, no room for a character to truly change, no hope for redemption and for turning the page on the past then what is this show even about?

Emma moves on from this because she loves Killian, because she accepts his past, which incidentally means accepting ALL OF IT not just the parts that are pretty and easy. She moves on from this because she knows his heart. Because she knows he’s changed. Because she understands that forgiveness is essential to living an emotionally healthy life. She moves on from this because if there is one thing her life has taught her it’s that life is seldom black and white–we live in the gray areas.

Not only is it good for their relationship it is ESSENTIAL to it. They need to go into their marriage content with who they are AND with who the other person is. Dark Swan helped Emma move down that road. Now it’s Killian’s turn.

This issue needs to be confronted as much for Killian as for Emma. Maybe more. He is clearly not 100% comfortable with his past. And he worries that others aren’t either. We saw that repeatedly in this episode. He needs to confront it once and for all. And the reality is that to make that confrontation meaningful the stakes need to be sky high. Which they are here.

As far as Rumple and the fake dagger keep in mind, not everything is about parallels as I said the other day. Sometimes the point of a story is compare/contrast.

Killian will forgive himself with Emma’s help. And it will be beautiful. Mark my words.

So a lot of people talked about flirting with Reyes and then eventually romancing Jaal or Liam or whoever so I was like, yeah I could do that, and let me tell you the disappointment and regret on that man’s face when you tell him, “You’re not the man I thought you were”

And he responds, “I wanted to be.”

It’s just the most heartbreaking thing in the whole game including hearing Liara again or confessing to your sibling you lied about your dad
0/10 would never recommend please do not break this poor man’s heart

My Spellbound Heart

I actually finished it! Soulmate AU for the first day of trope week @jilyfest

word count: 5.2k 

ffnet | ao3

“What kind of person could they be if our shared mark is a pair of antlers on my arse?” asks Lily, craning her neck to stare at the ink, stark against her pale skin. No matter how hard she glares at it, it remains there.

Behind her, Marlene snickers. “It’s not on your arse,” she says, barely managing to keep the laughter out of her voice, “It’s right above your arse.”

She directs her glare to the blonde who still had tear tracks down her cheek from the initial bout of laughter. “Because that makes things so much better,” she snaps, “Who the fuck thinks ‘hey a pair of antlers as a tramp stamp is great idea for a soulmark’?”

“Maybe it’s a symbol for something,” she says, winding a lock of hair around her finger before prodding the mark once more. Lily squawks and jumps away from her while the other girl just grins wickedly. “Maybe you’re soulmate likes it up-”

“If you don’t want me to cut off your tongue you’ll stop right there,” she warns. Lily glances back at the mirror, bemoaning the appearance of the mark. “If I ever meet this fucker I’m punching him in the dick.”

“Or the tit,” Marlene chirps, “Don’t let heteronormativity rule your life.”

“Shut up Marlene.”

-

Soulmarks weren’t rare, but they also weren’t exactly common. It was like a sunshower, a blue moon, a six petal flower on a four petal bush. Different, unexpected, but not rare.

It’s a topic tied into all their subjects; historians told the stories of those who shared the bond, the power they held when stood side by side, waging war and ruling men, the poets spoke about the special brand of intimacy shared only between lovers of the kind, a bond that ran deeper than anything else, while science tried to prove it with fact, a genetic anomaly, perhaps natural selection taking place, making it easier to find a desirable mate. For centuries they’ve been attempts to explain them- platonic, romantic and in between- but no one can ever agree and soon it just became a thing, accepted just like that.

(It falls in between questions of why do you taste like heartbreak and ash?how does a person manage to have galaxies in their eyes? what is that pain in my chest when you leave me?)

(There’re no answers and one answer. Love, the most dangerous thing of them all.)

They all learn about it, but learning and experiencing are two completely different things. They never tell you that you feel the pain of it appearing, like a million needles pressed into your skin at the same time, the place where it grows warm and irritated, and it leaves you feeling as though there’s a gaping wound in your chest for days.

They never tell you that remain hurting and raw, craving something that you never had in the first place. A kind of want that drives you mad.

It happened while she was in class, carrying out a chem lab with Marlene and the wave of pain hit so hard, so intense, that she dropped a beaker of sulphuric acid and felt like her spine was being cleaved in two, from the base up. She told a lie about cramps through clenched teeth, and Marlene helped her hobble out of class, almost collapsing on the cool bathroom tile as another wave of pain passes.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Despite most people seeing the lyric 'we don't talk enough' as more heartbreaking than saying 'we don't talk anymore', for me it's a sign of hope. Yes it's definitely bittersweet hope but it's present and it's an invitation to turn things around. It's striving for positivity and perhaps safety, which is what SOTT is for me. I see it as strength and hope, it's a song about holding on in a world full of hurt, fear and negativity, it's about finding strength in your weakness, and realisation.

1) this is gorgeous, and 2): Y e s!!!! I was just saying that to Sanne yesterday, too. How Harry is, despite being a positive person and a bright presence, not pretending like life is always great. You can see the pain and hurt and darkness that life can bring in his songs, especially this one. He’s aware of what life can be. He just also finds something to hold onto, finds hope where there is nothing, and he somehow translates that to a gorgeous song.

It’s real, and I love it.

I miss seeing your name pop up on my phone.
Now a days,
I feel so alone.
I just feel so unwanted,
so disregarded on my own.
It felt like you were the person to care for me,
but now there’s no one that’s there for me.
Now you look at her as if she’s the most beautiful thing you have to see,
that’s the way you used to look
at me.
—  a.a.