is it traumatizing

you know what’s absolutely heartbreaking? andrew wasn’t born closed off and guarded, he wasn’t born stone-faced and unimpressed with the world.

andrew was born as every other infant. he was a toddler at some point, giggling at everything, wide-eyed and curious. andrew probably had a favorite stuffed animal, a favorite blanket. andrew probably hummed along to songs as he finger painted and scribbled everywhere.

andrew most likely tried, and had, friends. he probably played play-pretend, hide ‘n seek, and other silly games we all played.

he wasn’t born “damaged” and that’s the heartbreaking part, the fact that the people who were supposed to protect andrew, love him, care for him were the ones who took all of that away from him.

he was a child like everyone else, and that was stolen from him like everything else was.

keeping a child in condition where they don’t know if they’ll be safe today is torture.

keeping a child not knowing if they’re going to face a normal day or a day of screaming, tantrums and abuse you throw at them is torture.

keeping a child aware you can and intend to humiliate, hit, insult and scream at the moment they don’t do as they’re told to is torture.

keeping a child aware you’re building up their hatred towards them and waiting for a perfect moment to take it all out on them is torture.

threatening your child and keeping them terrified of how badly you could hurt them is torture, the longer it goes on, the bigger the psychological toll on the child.

letting your child know that their shelter, food, and permission to live is hanging by a thin thread and it can break any time, with any mistake they make, is torture.

keeping a child in condition where their every action, word, face expression or emotion could cause an avalanche of hatred and pain, accusations and blame on them, where their anxiety rises with every time they express, is torture.

having your child feel like they don’t deserve to be loved or comforted or paid attention to is torture.

having your child feel like they have to exhaust every last bit of their energy just to deserve to be alive is torture.

having your child feel like wanting for anything but the mere minimum they need for survival is selfish and makes them a burden is torture

having your child feel like their every need and want is a burden is torture.

having your child feel like they’ll never be good enough is torture.

stop torturing your children for convenience. your children are human beings. they do not exist for you, and they’re not your property. they’re not to be controlled by fear and guilt. no child has deserved this. damage you’re causing can never be paid back. you will always be guilty of torturing a child. you will always be a monster.