is it too soon for jokes

No one seems to know why there’s an orange alligator in a pond near Charleston. Residents joke the gator used too much self-tanning lotion. Residents living near the pond in Hanahan say they’ve seen the orange or rust-colored alligator a number of times. Photos show the 4- to 5-foot-long alligator on the banks of a retention pond at the Tanner Plantation neighborhood. Jay Butfiloski with the South Carolina Department of Natural Resources says the color may come from where the animal spent the winter, perhaps in a rusty steel culvert pipe. Experts say the alligator will shed its skin and probably return to a normal shade soon. (Source)

  • in sixth year, sirius and remus’s favorite passtime was to make james and peter uncomfortable.
  • they just love to see their friends embarassed.
  • so obviously it all starts with sex jokes
  • even if they aren’t there yet
  • so when james innocently say that a question for a potion homework is “a really hard one”
  • remus grins and winks at his boyfriend,and add “yeah, you’re not the first one to say that today.”
  • and sirius is half laughing half trying to hide himself under the table because “gosh moony, you were suppose to be the cute and awkward one in this relationship”
  • but the jokes go on and soon all hogwarts has a list of forbidden words
  • their other fav way to embarass everyone is too always pretend they were about to shag when someone enter a room they were in
  • even if really they were just innocently chatting
  • they even hide in broom cupboards waiting for people to come in
  • now everyone knock before to get in the dorms/bathrooms/classrooms/offices and yeah, even the cupboards
  • (which padfoot and moony will be very grateful for when they will really have sex )
  • but they soon realize that it isn’t the best way to embarass everyone
  • because everyone hate to see a couple getting all soppy
  • and the Nicknames Era had begun
  • “love” and “sweetie” clearly weren’t enough for marauders
  • “sweet ray of sunshine”, “thief of my heart”, “light in the darkness” neither
  • so you could hear in the middle of the common room
  • “you are the knife to my fork” “your eyes shine more than dumbledore’s beard” “you’re sweeter than chocolate” ( “cAlm DOwN HeRE pADFoOt YoU DOn’t JOKe wITh CHOcOLate” )
  • and they say it with the most serious look so no one knew if they were kidding or not
  • ( which was the perfect cover for the soppiest couple ever )
  • basically james and peter feared every moment they would be with the two of them
  • ( and james planned his revenge for when he will finally be dating lily )

BONUS ANGST

  • after the prank, it took months to remus to finally call sirius with his petnames
  • and sirius died a little everytime remus would call by his name
  • and he cried a little when remus called him “love” again

i was thinking on an idea of why Shadow would think Flower Arragement would be a medium to bring hope to the humanity. i’m refering to this.from Lego Dimensions and at first i though i would be something like Sonic or Rouge would tell him as joke or perhaps Cream also migh have told him something about since she likes to do things with flowers and maybe then Shadow toke it too seriously.. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

but then i though…. when people are sick in hospitals, usually they receive flower arragements from a familiar or friends… wich its such a beautiful and delicated detail and a way to show the wish that the sick person will recover soon and also it does a lot to cheer up that person..

perhaps Shadow saw someone doing that somewere and though flower arragement can bring hope to humanity just like it brings it to the patients who receive them ..?? XD  dunno  but have a quick Shadow and flowers pic :D

An Open Letter to Hillary

I was eight years old when you became the First Lady. I remember that I liked your hair, and your headbands, and how pretty and young you seemed, standing with your charming husband, waving at the crowd.

There were jokes about you in my small town. You were too powerful, too bold, too attached to your maiden name. You made people nervous. In my house, though, you were admired. My father called you “Mrs. Clinton,” and we were proud to see you in the White House.

And then when I was older, following politics on my own, you were in the Senate. All the people who had said you were too smart, too pushy, too much, to be a First Lady, had to see you succeed all on your own. I wasn’t from New York, but it still felt, a little, like you represented me.

I was so happy when Obama appointed you Secretary of State. I canvassed for him in 2008, as charmed and energized by him as everyone else, but I wished that it hadn’t had to be at the expense of your own campaign. Seeing you as Secretary was a balm, and you seemed to thrive. Do you remember when that picture became famous, the photo of you texting on Air Force One? God, I loved it. You had arrived. You looked like the most powerful woman in the world, like all of that responsibility rested easy on your shoulders. You were a badass.

As I watched you this fall, debating against a man who made a mockery of democracy, I took comfort in the way you handled yourself. You looked like a president, for all that we’d never had one who looked like you before.

I didn’t believe you could lose this thing, Hillary. When I cast my ballot for you, it felt momentous. It felt like it meant something. And it did. It did.

That’s what I want you to know. I can’t imagine how it felt when you realized that somehow, for reasons that hurt my heart so deeply I can barely breathe, Trump was going to win. But I want you to know that you did not fail. America failed you, but you did not fail.

Because you know what? I’ve grown up with you. Your very presence in the world has changed the parameters of mine. I grew up watching you fight your way through Washington, and every step you took was also a step for me, and for every other woman in this country.

So thank you, Hillary, for the work you have done and will continue to do. I’m sorry you won’t be my president, but I hope you realize that you’ve been so many other things to so very many women.

people are telling me the book that home was based on is actually good which makes me sad

but i think the movie adaptation was dead from the start as soon as they cast sheldor to be the alien. then the plotline, pacing, and most jokes in the movie were a complete mess. its really unfortunate because everyone was so excited to have poc girl as a main character in an animated adventure movie but like, poc deserved a better movie than…this,,

Behind the Scenes of EXO's Lotto MV

SM: Okay now I know we just had a comeback not too long ago, but I heard a lot of other groups are coming back right now, and I want you to go and squash all their successes.

Kai: But that seems a little mean. They all worked so hard and we shouldn’t try to overshadow their achi– OUCH!

Chen: Did he just kick Kai in the ankle?

SM: Does anyone else have anymore protests?

Kai: I can’t feel my leg.

Sehun: No we got you loud and clear.

SM: Good! You know just for that I’m going to give you Kai’s token dance solo. Looks like he won’t be walking any time soon anyway.

Kai:*whimpers* Can someone call the doctor?

Yixing: But I’m a lead dancer too!

SM: And?

Baekhyun: Are we all just going to let the “Someone call the doctor” joke go by?

SM: Shut up Bacon

Baekhyun: Yes Sir.

Xiumin: So what will our concepts be? What roles will we play?

SM: Just be yourselves!

Suho: So I’ll be a caring guy who has a good heart and a hopeful spirit?

Kyungsoo: And I’ll be a mature guy that is focused and passionate?

SM:

SM: Kinda…..Suho I will let you “caringly” burn money to the ground and beat people over the head. Kyungsoo, I’ll let you be “focused” on filming a cock fight and smiling like you’re possessed.

Suho:

Kyungsoo: *mutters to self* and they wonder why I’m so violent.

Chanyeol: So is this MV going to explain Monster and Lucky One, and why Luhan, Kris and Tao are no longer around?

SM:

SM: Who?

Chen: The 3 former members of EXO M!

SM: Lol there’s always only been 9 silly.

Baekhyun: Okaaayy I guess “Denial” isn’t just a river in Egypt anymore.

SM: I swear if you say one more word Bake Gun, I’m going to shove a pizza down your throat and make you whistle Artifical Love while you choke.

Baekhyun:

Chen:

Chanyeol:

SM: Anymore questions?

Kai: I’m in pain can someone take me to the hospit—

SM: VALID questions?

Kai:

Kai: No

SM: Well good meeting guys. I’ll be in Hawaii! Catch you the next time we have to kill another group’s comeback. *leaves*

Chen: What a jerk.

Sehun: ……So am I the only one who is actually happy with how this meeting turne-

EXO: YES!

Kai: You took my place!

Lay: *coughs*

Sehun: This is my era if you don’t like it you can leave.

EXO: *leaves*

Sehun: Wait!!!! I didn’t drive here!!!

EXO: *leaves faster*

Dating Derek would include:

• Constantly grabbing your ass
• Babe, are you coming home soon? I wanna fuck
• Sexual jokes
• Messing with his hair
• Call me daddy or you’ll be punished
• A lot of sex
• Riding his face
• And dick too
• A lot of pda
• Him spanking your ass
• Well, look at daddy’s hand mark on your pretty little ass
• Being dominant as fuck
• Him getting jealous
• He said you were hot and I punched him
• I thought a black eye made me hot
• Shower sex
• Morning sex
• Sex in the kitchen
• Sex in the car
• Sex on the table
• Basically a lot of sex
• Watching him in the studio
• Guys piss off, I wanna fuck Y/N
• Sending nudes each other 24/7
• A lot of cuddling
• Let me massage you
• Oh, was that your ass? Sorry
• Wearing his hoodies
• Sucking his dick all the time
• Swallowing
• Fuck baby
• Strip tease
• Catching him jack off
• Shit sorry, didn’t see you there
• Helping him cum
• Getting high all the fucking time
• Yes baby, gonna hit my dick in you like you hit that blunt
• Him trying to make sense while he’s high
• Saying his name the wrong way to annoy him
• I swear if you do it one more time, you won’t be able to walk for days
• Fuck I told you not to
• You not being able to walk for days
• Loud sex
• Romantic sex
• Monday sex
• Tuesday sex
• Wednesday sex
• Thursday sex
• Friday sex
• Saturday sex
• Sunday sex
• Rough sex
• 69
• You are cute
• No, I’m not cute. I’m gangsta. You are the cute one
• Derek, we’ve literally got 5 dogs that you cuddle with, that’s definitely not ‘gangsta’
• Oh fuck off
• No, come back. I wanna fuck you
• Sending him teasing photos when he’s on tour
• Him hugging you from behind
• Kissing your neck
• Leaving a lot of love bites
• Making out a lot
• I’m so horny right now
• Him biting his lip
• Please, let’s fuck
• Randomly giving him a head
• Surprise dates
• Staying home and watching Netflix all day
• Making each other feel better when you’ve had a shit day
• Being there for each other
• Helping him out with whatever is troubling him
• Fuck, I love you

All I want from life is a Derek Luh.

10

Part 1. Oh god sorry for the inconsistent panels again x_x It’s so annoying but I see no other way to fit it in. Also when I thought I was done I came to realize I forgot one panel. ASLKAJSDLKAJSD

I took way too many breaks from this thing and everything is all over the place. I hope I can upload the two other parts soon cos snail goals.

I really want Endeavor and Shoto to talk things out entirely and let all their emotions out >< Shoto tried so hard to change and forget while Endeavor just continued being Endeavor. It’s only after All Mights fight that he seemed to start to have regrets? Repent, Endeavor. Repent and become a real daddy.

Originally this is a result of an old idea to make a short joke comic about Shoto’s birth. Like Endeavor says “He’s ALREADY five!” in the manga, he’d make a whole noisy fuss around an upset wailing newborn Shoto, yelling “he’s ALREADY a newborn!” to the worrying mother.

One of the reasons I love late night hosts so much is because after every horrific, disturbing, disgusting and awful thing that happens in the world, they can make it seem bearable. They make it seem like there’s hope. They have to report about it that night and they share in our disbelief. If it is too soon or just too terrible to make jokes about, they can at least make it feel okay, they make it seem like we can get through it. It reminds me of in Titanic when the strings players kept going after the ship started to sink, they were bringing a little comfort and a little distraction to people during the worst part of their life. Our hosts are that for us. The fear will unite us and they will be able to bring light to us when we don’t think we can see it. They will make us feel safer and less scared, Colbert said it best with “You cannot laugh and be afraid at the same time”.