is it strange i think hes attractive

So I usually don't post stuff like this but...

Right so today in class my math teacher, a human who is taller than our door and probably more awkward than it, casually mentioned how he isn’t married and how he never really felt attraction to any gender.
So a pan girl in my class puts up her hand and asks if he was Asexual.
One confused state and three queer people explanations later…
HE WAS BEYOND EXCITED TO FIND OUT THAT HE WAS VALID AND SEEN AS AN ACTAUL HUMAN TO THE LGBT COMMUNITY.
I shit you not.
My way too tall and way too smart and way too dorky and way too awkward maths teacher lived his entire life thinking that he was strange and abnormal for not feeling any attraction to anyone.
And a class of insane grade elevens changed that.

alien emoji rating

I really like aliens so I’ll go ahead and rate my little boys

Apple:

He looks cute and kind of nice, this shows that aliens do come in piece, the gradient effect gives a 3 D  S P A C E  P I N B A L L feel which is a nice touch. 4/5. He’s really nice, someone give him live stock for his planet.

Goolge:

I’m not sure Google is aware of the popular conception of aliens, but maybe they know something we don’t???? The colors are flat, something that in most cases is not bad, but this time it is, he seeks intelligent life yet he looks as he has no life at all. 1/5.

Microsoft:

He’s conventionally attractive and happy for some reaon, I’d let him make patterns in my crops, the T H I C C lines are not the best idea but the glow in his eyes are perfect. Not the best desing choices but I can deal with it. 3/5.

Samsung:

Isn’t this the most visually pleasing gradient ever made by human kind? But not for this guy, he looks like he’s dying cuz can’t breath our oxygen, poor fellow, also his face looks strange, he might as well be Mr. Burns. 3/5. Looks really smug and I bet this kid thinks he’s the smartest guy in the class.

LG:

Straight out of the uncanny valley, the face you’d expect to see from a badly written creepypasta edited over an old photo that’s supposed to possess you, looks scary, creepy and offsetting but not in the nice way aliens are supposed to look. Please deport him to his planet. 0/5. Save your children from LG cellphones.

HTC:

Look at this guy, like LOOK at This gUY!! His cute smile, this lime boy looks so mischievous, probably on space Santa’s naughty children list. The lines, the colors and the E D G E S are so pleasing to the eyes. 5/5. I’d let this guy invade my planet any day and eradicate all sentient matter without hesitation.

Facebook:

He’s scary, creepy and offsetting in the nice way aliens are supposed to be, the soulless eyes and the grey color blend so nice together making him intimidating and also hypnotizing. 5/5. Please take me away with you and use me as a guinea pig for your nefastus plots. 

Messenger:

The colors looks like he’s from a flash animation and his face of utter disgust makes him unpleasant, I’ll take him with my leader because I don’t wanna deal with him. 3/5. You might be ugly, but you’re the designated emoji for most of my chats.

Twitter:

He’s minimalistic and cute, this grey buddy is my friend, please hug him and treat him nicely, he just want diplomatic relations with our planet, give him love and natural resources, he deserves them. 4/5.

Mozilla:

This guy is not an alien, he’s a light outlet. He’s nice and is probably that one cousin they sit with you on family gatherings, not because you get along, but because they want you to keep him from doing something stupid like breaking a bowl or causing a nuclear holocaust. 2/5. Sorry Kyle, I’m not your baby sister.

 honestly, star trek has a fucking problem with basically demanding that women be attractive and “sexy” 

like for the original series i might give the miniskirts a pass because they were a symbol of empowerment and such but a lot of the other costumes were pretty explicitly designed for the male gaze. tv tropes even has a trope called the theiss titillation theory named after the tos costume designer.

the bajoran makeup is as minimalist as it is because rick berman wanted to make sure michelle forbes still looked pretty. he told michael westmore  “We’ve hired a pretty girl and I want to keep her that way. Think of something that we can take and make her look a little alien, and still get the idea she’s from another planet, but she’s still gorgeous.

the trill makeup was changed between tng and ds9 specifically because they wanted to make sure terry farrell was still attractive. she said that “paramount didn’t want [her] to look strange” because they wanted the character to be beautiful.

rick berman conceptualized the character of seven of nine as a “borg babe”. before she even had a name or a story or any real character, they had decided she needed to be hot. jeri ryan was fully aware of that, she said "I knew exactly what I was in for when I had my first costume fitting. Clearly my character was added to the show for sex appeal, which remains the one way to get attention very quickly.

catsuits are everywhere. t’pol wears them even though they look nothing like what every other vulcan we’ve ever seen seems to wear. kira wears them, though at least the fact that it’s a uniform makes it slightly better. troi wore them along with a variety of other outfits - none of which, notably, show her rank. she is a lieutenant commander and between the pilot and “chain of command” she never has rank insignia. marina sirtis was ecstatic when she got to wear an actual uniform “it covered up my cleavage and I got all my brains back, because when you have cleavage you can’t have brains in Hollywood… I was allowed to do things that I hadn’t been allowed to do for five or six years. I went on away teams, I was in charge of staff, I had my pips back, I had phasers, I had all the equipment again, and it was fabulous. I was absolutely thrilled.“

and of course there are the infamous reboot underwear scenes, the countless alternate “sexy” versions of the female characters that pop up in the mirror universe and in holosuites, the revealing outfits given to background women like the orions or dabo girls…

every single female regular - a number, which, for the record, has never exceeded 3 on a single show and never more than 1/3 of the main cast - has to be attractive, apparently. that is clearly what the men in charge think. no one cared if worf or quark or odo or neelix or phlox looked “attractive enough” in their prosthetics. men can wear tight costumes or be shirtless from time to time, but they don’t have to have “sex appeal” as a major facet of their characters. no one designed a male character thinking of their looks first and foremost. 

and it fucking pisses me off. the way star trek in general treats women needs to be improved in all aspects - there need to be more women, they need to be diverse, they need to fill a variety of roles, and they need to not be required to be “sexy”. an beautiful woman in a proper uniform is still a beautiful woman, no need to give her a skintight catsuit or strip her. a woman under complete alien prosthetics that make her look “less attractive” is still as interesting and compelling of a character as she would be without them. a woman whose body type isn’t skinny or curvy or whose looks aren’t “conventionally attractive” has just as much to offer to a crew.

bts personality analysis: taehyung

Originally posted by sweaterpawsjimin

i found it quite difficult to nail this analysis down - this is the only member i actually had to plan before writing. taehyung has a personality that kind of confuses me because he is everything all at once. he is such a big character that i dont think i could possibly understand him wholly; and understanding is what i do best. i think what makes taehyung so big is his lust for life. he is curious and he doesn’t hold back. he has no qualms when it comes to judgement. taehyung is dynamic. he is so entertaining to watch and thats what makes him so popular. people want a taste of the zest he has, they want that to be as bright as him. but they cant, because taehyung will always be the star of the show and he doesn’t even try. he will always be one step ahead of everyone as they try to catch up but he isn’t a conformist, he is a trendsetter. he does things that arent mainstream and his singularity will bring copycats. thats just the type of person taehyung is. 

i dont think thats the only reason why taehyung is popular amongst idols or why he has so many friends, i think he also has a knack for communication. it is natural to him which makes him seem more charismatic and his energy will ultimately empower those around him. taehyung has so many big ideas because his mind is always whirring and because he has his own language, inadvertently persuades whoever he is with. he has the power to inspire who he is with just with his words. taehyung also brings out the best in people and i think the fact that he is humble is why he is likeable.

taehyungs mind never stops and is always filled with thoughts and dreams and this curious nature brings him to be fascinated by small things. this fascination is why taehyung is so observant and why he seems to just watch over sometimes, eyes glazed over. he is so lost in his own thoughts that he has left his body to live in hise mind. but this endless stream of thoughts could be considered both a strength and a flaw. a strength; taehyung knows himself and his thoughts like the back of his hand, he is interested in things and this curiosity is his drive to try new things. a weakness; taehyung is highly emotional and is very in touch with his own emotions so being in his own head could lead to negative thoughts and create unnecessary insecurities. 

taehyung has a need for independence, he doesn’t like when he has to rely on someone. you see this when he brings up hold me tight, of course, he is proud. but i think he is just reminding others that that is his own work. his. independently. he likes when he has credit and when people acknowledge this. taehyung feels as though rules are restraint and would much prefer to be set free. he likes to be seen as independent, he wants to be seen as someone that can do things for himself. but, unfortunately, taehyung has assigned himself to the kpop industry where independence is a desire that wont be attained. this would stress taehyung out and i can see that taehyung would possibly be sad in his position if it weren’t for his other members.

i think that taehyung really does look up to jin as an older brother and has a great amount of respect for him and ive noticed that he always laughs at jins jokes!!! a+ concept!!! yoongi and taehyung are a fun pair to analyse because they are so different; yoongi values realism and taehyung values optimism. they both see the world in juxtaposing ways and thats why i think that they would be a good pair since i believe that opposites do attract. hoseok and taehyung are strange because as much as i love their interactions, they both seem too intense for each other. both of them have such strong characters that i feel like they can only be around each other for a certain amount of time before it drives either one insane. namjoon and taehyung are cute!!! namjoon has a soft spot for cuteness and i think thats why tae and him are so close. taehyung loves to listen and namjoon loves to talk. good combo. jimin and taehyung are also one of my favourite relationships in bangtan because they seem to understand each other. they have this deep brotherly bond that they have formed over the years and i think its a really important relationship for jimins psyche because taehyung understands jimins personality better than i think anyone else does. its really beautiful to watch them interact and hear their inside jokes. taehyung and jungkook are another one of my favourite relationships because jungkook can keep taehyung on his toes and thats what taehyung needs, he needs someone that can keep up with him and give him a run for his money. he loves the competition and thats what jungkook brings.

kim taehyung - enfp/capricorn. pioneer, zest, curious, character.

kim seokjin ; min yoongi ; jung hoseok ; kim namjoon ; park jimin

Melody.

Series: Hoseok | Jin | Jimin | Namjoon | Jungkook | Taehyung

Pairing: Min Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Angst, Fluff; Soulmate!AU where you can hear music only if you have a soulmate.

Word Count: Roughly 3K

Note: Happy Birthday to our very own Min Yoongi! This is basically my way of trying to celebrate it, and it was supposed to only be a drabble but… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Originally posted by bangtannoonas

The silence only lasts for a moment. It’s brief, and it’s fleeting, just like your love seems to be.

Jinyoung’s looking at you, you can tell; you don’t need to look at him to know it, since you can feel his heavy gaze resting just between your shoulders, under your neck. The air is cold, just like your heart, and when you finally turn around, to meet his eyes, the gale stops too, as though it knows. Your head is empty, no soft music murmuring into it, and when you look at him, you can tell from the hollowness of his eyes that his is too.

“I guess…” You speak first, softly, fists clenching, “I guess this is where it ends?”

“It doesn’t have to.” He answers, just as quiet, though his stance speaks volumes, “We can still try.”

“It doesn’t work that way.” You cross your arms, head still ringing from the silence, and it’s tough trying to stop your eyes from stinging, “You…You know that as well as I do.”

“Soulmates aren’t everything, Y/N.” Jinyoung asserts, looking at you with his eyes crinkled, not in joy, but in solemnity, “Just because you don’t hear anything doesn’t mean you can’t feel it.”

“You found your soulmate though,” Your words are flat, dead, “I have no place in your life anymore Jinyoung, and I think…I think we both need to accept this.”

You hold up your wrist, showing him the faded mark.

“My soulmate’s dead. There’s no way to turn that around, and I’m okay. But you’re not,” You gesture helplessly at his wrist, where an intricate pattern of flowers blooms beautifully, rich with its pink hues, “You still have someone out there waiting for you, crossing their fingers to find their soulmate, so you can’t leave them all by themselves.”

The tears finally spill out as you take his hands—his warm hands—in yours, smiling up at him through blurry vision.

“Y/N—” He breathes out, his own eyes glistening, and you shush him, reaching up to card a hand through his hair.

“Always remember,” You say gently, voice shaking, before you lean up to press your trembling lips against his, letting the tears slip freely, “That I love you.”

He looks at you once, before his arms come to wrap around you, and you let him.

This is a goodbye, after all.

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Pear & Blue Cheese Ice Cream

Sebastian Stan x Reader

Summary: (College AU) your neighbor likes to party a lot, you simply needed some peace. or “I’m sorry, what were you saying? I keep getting lost in your eyes.”

Word Count: 2286

Warnings: so much fluff

A/N: this is my entry for (@sanjariti) Caro’s writing challenge! i hope you like it, queen of fluff™ also, this is posted in advance for Seb’s birthday!!

also, i am such a whore for feedback. ilysm!

Masterlist here 

(gif is not mine)

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Dan & Phil describing each other for the Summer in the City book

Dan Howell, whose name rhymes with hand towel, bland scowl, and sand owl, was created when a woodland creature had a baby with Liam Payne from one direction. When not procrastinating by eating the entire fridge or staying awake until 6am, he makes youtube videos on the channel danisnotonfire (which was his username back in the lolrandom bebo days.) Before becoming a Youtuber, teenager Dan worked in a DIY shop until one day he sold an axe to an eight year old. Dan’s Greatest Hits include “what not to do at the beach” (where he actually went outside), “sexy internet dating” (where he invited a naked 58 year old man called Manesh to our house), and “what is my life” (where he spent eight minutes pritt-sticking various meat products to his face). I know what you are thinking, “I want some Dan facts!” WELL HERE THEY ARE, JENNY! (I just totally freaked out anyone called Jenny) Dan is scared of trees. Dan eats cinnamon cereal every day (except the days I steal his cereal). I am sat next to Dan now and he said if he could have any dog it would be a Shiba Inu. If you haven’t checked out his videos yet then you are missing out - a LOT. Also you might want to check out his pretty cool friend Phil.

Get his autograph below! or find someone else called Dan and get him to forge it. Just convince yourself it was true.

Ok bye.

- Phil.

Phil Lester is the by-product of two related grandparents and a haircut that was cool in 2006, but that’s okay because he has a lovely personality. His quirky videos and idiosyncratic editing sets him apart from other YouTube vloggers - that and his unique life which seems to attract a worryingly large amount of strange people and situations (which he relives for your enjoyment). If you look at yourself in the mirror and think “wow i am so weird, how do i function?” - Phil’s the guy that teaches you to embrace your individuality.

If you see Phil this weekend, do not be alarmed if his hand is facing backwards towards his pocket in a claw shape, he can’t help it. And he was does not condone irresponsible use of a permanent marker on your face.

Remember, normalness leads to sadness.

- Dan

10/10 would date- spideychelle headcanon

https://riarkledale.tumblr.com/post/163518972984/1010-would-date-pt2-spideychelle-hc - part 2

https://riarkledale.tumblr.com/post/163523408419/1010-would-date-pt-3-spideychelle-hc - part 3

bc y’all loved my last two hcs and i was just reminded that we’re gonna have to wait till 2020 to see spideychelle happen skjdksjskdj whY

-aight let’s get right into it shall we?

-michelle knows

-oh yea y’all know what i’m talking about

-but peter doesn’t know that she knows

-at first she’s kinda hurt and a lil upset ngl

-cos honestly ?? she’s actually really opened up to peter and ned

-and she’s tried so hard to be a good, true friend

-but the lil shit still apparently didn’t trust her enough

-so she mopes around for like two weeks

-she makes up excuses to not hang out

-she becomes rlly distant

-she gets really quiet

-but then the sadness slowly fades

-and she decides to get some payback bc she is mj, after all

-so one day she casually sits w them again

-as if the last 2 weeks never happened

-lmao i love this girl

-they’re both kinda shook tbh but they don’t question it

-bc they missed her and they don’t want to say anything that’ll make her go away

-and spiderman makes the front page again today

-michelle is salty

-bc how dare!! peter act like nothing is happening and that’s not him on the front page of

-every. single. newspaper. in ny!!!

-so she starts a conversation about the spider-boi (as she likes to call him)

-one thing about michelle, she is such a good actress

-she deserves an oscar honestly

-so they’re all talking about spiderman and suddenly ned’s going on and on about how he thinks scarlet witch is hot

-so she’s like, ah! you’re making it too easy for me, nerds

- and then she goes

- “i think spider-man is hot.”

-her biggest regret of all was not secretly videoing their reactions

-peter nearly chokes on his sandwich

-he looks like a tomato honestly, he’s getting so red

-ned is shooketh

-”whAT?!?!”

-”…what?”

-ned is like ‘whAT THE HELL MICHELLE YOU HAVEN’T EVEN MET THE GUY”

-and she’s like ‘whatever, i still think he’s attractive’

-ned thinks she’s acting very sus and he wants to get down to the bottom of it

- ‘michELLE WHAT IF HE’S AN OLD MAN’

- “jesus fuck, ned. have u heard the guy? he’s definitely in high school”

-ned looks like he’s trying to get her to quit the act

-but ha! she’s got em

-she looks at peter who has been strangely quiet throughout the whole thing

-he’s still red btw

-she looks at him teasingly, “anything to say, parker? any protests?’

-ned’s still in shock

-she looks at ned, “he’s a teenage boy in spandex but i still would.”

-ned looks frustrated tbh

-and michelle is loving every second of it

-but just to clarify

-she doesn’t think peter is hot or anything

-it’s like whatever

-this is all just an act ok

-”i think that you’re spider-man’s type. like he would. date u”

-she freezes

-whAT THE FUCK PETER

-WHAT DOES HE THINK HE’S DOING

-her mind is

-ummmmmmmmmmm

-she doesn’t know what to do!!

-she doesn’t want to give it away

-play it cool mj play it cool

-’oh wow thanks for the heads up, peter. i’m so relieved that i’m spiderman’s type, yes. now u can tell him to pick me up at 7.”

-nailed it, mj

-peter looks kinda smug but also kinda confused

-and she takes the oppurtunity to torture him even more

-”how would you know what spidey’s type is? huh, parker? what do you, have some sort of ‘spidey sense’?’

-peter is a mess

-’whaatttt, why would i? spidey sense, wow what is that? such foreign words? i just met him, that’s all. haha yea, he’s a cool dude.”

-’i actually think he’s a bit of a dork.”

-peter is confused

-”but you just said that you liked him’

-’yeah but he’s a cute dork’

-peter is blushing

-it’s worse than before

stay tuned for part 2 (cos i’m tired rn and i rlly want to sleep)

New in Town : Tom Holland x Reader Imagine. Smut!

Hey all! This is my first time writing for this fandom. I am super nervous. I’m a little rusty, so please be kind. All mistakes are mine. I hope you enjoy, and please leave me some feedback! xoxox


It’s your first night out since moving from New York to London. You had this brilliant idea that moving to a completely new country would help you get over your ex. That was the stupidest idea you’ve ever had. You’re even more lonely than you were before. The only difference is that there’s no one around you know that can see your suffering.

The pub you find is within walking distance from your new flat, as they say over here. It’s not terribly crowded, which you are thankful for. All you want is to have a couple of drinks, eat some food, and then go home and watch Netflix. You order a glass of wine to start, but it’s not taking the edge of like you want.

“Hey mate,” a voice next you says to the bartender. “Can I get a Scotch?” You hear him let out a loud sigh. “Actually, can you make that a double?”

You glance over at the stranger and immediately recognize his face. He’s trying to hide under a baseball cap, but you’d know his face anywhere.

Tom fucking Holland.

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Shelter - Remus Lupin x Reader (contains smut)

Request: would you ever do a PoA Professor Lupin and student y/n smut imagine?? If you can’t, then that’s okay! I absolutely love your work and if you’re not comfortable with writing it, then that’s absolutely fine ✨

Warnings:  This is a PROFESSOR Remus imagine that contains smut. It’s perfectly legal since the reader is 18. However, if you do not like the idea or feel comfortable with it, please don’t read this. Just scroll past it. (I have to tell you though, that there is nothing wrong with relationships with an age difference-personal experience.) .Other than that, my English and the smut part, which is not the most graphic smut I have written. (under the cut)
Image and gifs aren’t mine/ Credits to their original owners. 
Word count: 6k+
MASTERLIST

You knew you were in for a hell of a year since the moment you laid eyes on him. You didn’t know why or what but you knew… your last year would be a year to remember.
You had missed the Sorting Ceremony, again. So, you went to your dorm and settled things down while you waited for everyone to fall asleep. You would then sneak to the kitchens and grab something to eat. Naturally, you were in for a surprise, but of course, you had no idea.
After a while, it was late enough for you to go unnoticed. You had quickly found the pear and tickled it, transforming it into a door- knob. You smiled to yourself. You had found your way around the castle without that ridiculous map that the twins had stolen from Filch’s office. You knew every single secret passageway and every single corridor-you knew Hogwarts. You were friends with them, with all of the Weasleys. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that you had briefly dated Charlie. Even though you had realized that you were better off as friends after a while. You had bonded with the twins over Quidditch and pranks. You had tried to make them study-it had ended badly; your hair had gone pink, the color you hated the most, for a week.
You crept inside the kitchens, and almost immediately were greeted by the kind house elves.
“Hello, Miss! Welcome back!! What can Bloom get you, miss?” one of them asked you.
“What have I told you, guys? It’s just Y/N” you smiled warmly at them. They just shrugged it off and started preparing only Merlin knows what. At some point, you were worried about the amount of food they were piling up, so you just stopped them, reaching for the chocolate bar that was right before you.
“Um, guys… Chill. I think I’ll just grab some chocolate and-” but before you could finish off with your sentence you heard a low cough like someone wanted to make their presence known, coming from behind you back. Oh, no. You slowly turned around, ready to face the music-and probably Snape and detention- only to find a very, very, disturbingly young man, looking at you, rather amused.
He had a beautiful face no matter his scars, that under the dim candle light illuminating the room, seemed to be soft and strangely attractive. He must have been in his early thirties, you thought. Oh, shit. He has to be your new DADA professor. He was your teacher? Great.
“Hello” you said sheepishly and lowered your gaze, but not for long. You found yourself way too captivated by his kind eyes to look away. You saw him fighting a chuckle.
“It’s past curfew, miss…” he trailed off, not really reprimanding you. You smiled and all your confidence had rushed back in.  You were never the coward one.
“Y/L/N. Oh, I know” you said, raising an eyebrow in emphasis. You liked challenging people. Not too much but just enough. Which seemed to be the case here as well. He was slightly surprised at your answer. He thought that you would apologize and rush out of the kitchen. But there you were, sitting on the table, opening the wrapped chocolate bar, answering back completely nonchalant. He stayed silent for a couple of seconds while you hadn’t even dreamt of breaking the eye contact you held with him. His eyes.
“You do realize I could give you detention, Miss Y/L/N, right?” he asked you. You could tell that he intended to be strict but it didn’t exactly work. Instead, his tone sounded playful and a bit… provocative. You jumped off the table, walking over to him-it wasn’t your fault he was standing near the door.
“But you won’t” you said steadily while piercing his eyes with your intense gaze. He was taken aback by your boldness. You chuckled lightly.
“Goodnight… professor” you bid him goodbye, sending him a wink before you walked out.
Oh, boy. What just happened?



You knew it was going to be bad. The moment you walked into his class, you just knew it.
He had insisted on focusing on the practical experience of facing a boggart. You knew very well that you weren’t capable of facing your worst feat. It was simple, really. You didn’t fear something that could take shape. You feared your own mind. Your life was a lonesome experience and you could understand that very fact more than anyone. You carried the weight of humanity itself with you everywhere you went. You could say that you were trouble. You never really fitted in- your mind was so unending, you knew no limitations. Dumbledore had said that those were signs of geniuses. You thought that those were the signs of madness. Nobody quite understood what made you different, you didn’t even understand it yourself- but you felt it. You felt deep in your bones. You were the lone, last star of each ending night, that was still shining brightly as the sun began to rise.
You knew you were no good. Maybe, professors saw an excellent student; maybe, your friends saw an amazing prankster; maybe your ex had seen a great lover. But none of those things were true. Not entirely, at least. And that feeling, being numb, that was your worst fear. It paralyzed you.
That was why, when that boggart never took shape, you were instantly unable to move. Nobody really knew what was going on. Your classmates thought you feared nothing and the boggart couldn’t morph, but he knew the truth. Before he could help you, you had helped yourself. You weren’t looking for a knight-you were looking for a sword. You remembered every single moment that you felt like you had a family of your own. The twins making you burst into laughter in the middle of the Great Hall with their crazy pranks, Cedric making you feel welcomed and appreciated with his kind personality, Oliver counting on you to win the game. You were not alone, and you gave a silent promise to yourself to never feel numb. Even if the pain became too much to handle. Even if there wasn’t a single hope left. Even if the end was near. You would never shut yourself. Because, feeling, even the pain, was what made us humans. Because feeling and feeling too much was better than forgetting what it was like to have emotions. Feelings made something real. And you wouldn’t change that for the world.
You hadn’t turned your boggart into something funny. You had simply placed it back inside the trunk that it had been. You looked at him, searching for something you didn’t even know what it was. His soft, rich caramel eyes were already on you. He seemed… confused. You stepped back, letting the next person in line perform the spell. You slipped out of the class and you knew that he had noticed, but you simply couldn’t stay there. However, you knew that he knew, so you had to face him at some point. But you couldn’t bring yourself to do that. You couldn’t face those big, soft, caramel eyes. Oh, Merlin. I am melodramatic. 



For the next month, you had avoided his classes. You would come up with excuses, silly ones to stay away from him. You knew it wasn’t… shit, what were you supposed to do? Because the truth was… you had developed a crush on your professor. You couldn’t help it. He was kind and caring and sweet and gentle, he had helped Harry with his boggart… and you knew what he was hiding. You had guessed it the very first time you saw him. The secret behind his scars. Scars that to everybody else would seem… weird, or even ugly. But to you… to you, they were perfect. You wanted to trace your hands along his scars, you wanted to kiss every single one of them. And you had to contain yourself, or you would sigh in front of everyone.
“Hello?”. You snapped your head towards… Fred and George.
“What?” you asked as in a haze. You couldn’t possibly focus on anything else but him. You were having breakfast- well, coffee to be exact- and you could feel his eyes burning holes on your back. You knew it was him and you felt guilty. He hadn’t even mentioned that you were skipping classes to Dumbledore.
“Lupin told us to tell you to get your ass to his office after class” the said in unison. You raised an eyebrow in question.
“He told you to get my ass to his office?” you asked sarcastically, but you were too worried and stressed out to actually care.
“Well, not per say. But that was the meaning. What did you do?” Fred said at once. You, however, didn’t want to answer. Because you knew what had led him to call you to his office. Your mind though, oh… that dirty little mind of yours. You were imagining all kind of inappropriate things you would do to him if you ever had the chance. And then it hit you.
You would have to attend his class today in order to see him after. That little shit. Suddenly, you weren’t feeling all that guilty.
“Nothing that concerns you two” you answered calmly. They just smirked. Sometimes, you could swear, they were able to read your mind. You blushed and kept your head lowered.
Great.
The day had passed in a blur. You didn’t really pay attention to any of your classes until… his.
You were about to sit down as far away as possible when you realized that the were no desks or seats. Your eyes met his. For the first time in a month, you felt your heart squeezing in a strange way. His eyes were intense and a bit greener and a little less caramel that what you remembered. And captivating. Always so captivating.
Before you could continue your daydream, more students walked in and he removed his gaze from yours.
“Does anyone know what a Patronus is?” he asked the class after a while. His voice was soft and melodic, rich and kind. You had it bad.
“A Patronus is primarily used to repel Dementors. They can also be used for communication by accomplished witches and wizards, sir” a girl said, ogling him, causing you the urge to throw up.
“Very well. What else can you tell us?” he continued and you felt like you could melt. It was his voice, so it was his fault.
“The Patronus is Guardian which acts as a shield between you and the Dementor like a projection of the very things that the Dementor feeds upon such hope, happiness, the desire to survive. However, since the Patronus is an incantation the Dementors can’t hurt it. The Patronus has two forms, non-corporeal and corporeal. A non-corporeal Patronus can appear as ‘a thin wisp of silver’ that hovers ‘like mist.’ Whereas a corporeal Patronus has a form that is clearly defined and is more than vapor or smoke. The ability to cast a corporeal or non-corporeal Patronus is down to the skill of the witch or wizard. Each Patronus is unique to the witch or wizard who conjures it, and it’s possible, in some cases, for a Patronus to change” you said looking him directly in the eyes. You simply had to answer, otherwise that… girl would receive his attention. Oh, no. No. No. You couldn’t be… were you jealous? Great. Amazing. You had a crush on your professor and you were jealous of everyone who caught his eye. Very… nice.
He was clearly taken aback; he didn’t believe you would participate since you had been avoiding his classes for a month now.
“Precisely miss Y/L/N” he praised you and you blushed. Where was your confidence? He went on about the charm, how to pronounce it and details about the way to cast it, but you already knew that. You may haven’t been able to produce a corporeal Patronus yet but you had been practicing since a very young age.
“Miss Y/L/N. Why don’t you demonstrate for us?” he simply asked you in a way you could have never said no. He gestured the front of the class. Another amazing moment of your amazing day.
You walked over there confidently, suddenly feeling like yourself again.
You focused on your memories. Not one, as he had said, but many happy ones. Your first time on a broom, your first Quidditch game, your Hogwarts letter, your friends and the pranks you had pulled, the people you cared about. Before you could control it, his face appeared only to disappear seconds later. You didn’t have to say the incantation out loud. With a flicker of your wand, a silvery form emerged. Was that a… Thestral?
The creature walked towards you and bow down its head for you to pet it. You placed your-shaking- hand on its fragile head. It was so surreal. You knew you were one of few people who could see those magnificent animals. They are only visible to people who have seen someone dying and fully accepted, understood and internalized the concept. The animal slowly raised its head and its eyes met his, lowering lightly its head in an indication of respect and then it disappeared. You didn’t move for a few seconds after that. You could hear that the other students were performing the spell as well. Some of them, summoning a corporeal Patronus, some of them not. You were a bit lost for a while after that, so, naturally, you jumped slightly when you felt a hand on your shoulder, shaking you gently. You focused your vision on his face, but you were too confused to remember your little crush.
“Are you alright?” he asked you politely but concerned. You hadn’t realized that no one else was in the classroom. You nodded, forcing a smile, but it was too weak to last more than a couple seconds.
With his hand on your back, he prompted you to his desk and made you sit down.
“Why a Thestral?” you questioned, not really asking him; you asked yourself. He eyed you cautiously.
“A Patronus is a representation of who you are and is manifested by a creature that represents you in some way. I have to ask you… have you witnessed a death?” he quietly asked you. They all did, eventually.
“Three. My parents and my brother were killed-no, murdered by Voldemort himself. Such an honor” you answered softly, trying to prevent the memories from drowning you, therefore the use of sarcasm. He seemed to grow quieter. You didn’t want pity.
“I think it is safe to say that those with this Patronus often have the gentlest souls of all, an exceptional wizard or witch who has emerged strong from a dark past” he said in a small voice, making eye contact with you, or trying to, since you wouldn’t look anywhere near him.
“I do have to ask you one more thing. Why did you avoid my class the previous month?” he continued once he realized that you weren’t going to look at him. What could you possibly tell him?
“First the boggart, now my Patronus. What is it with your class that makes my life so difficult?” you playfully asked. It was your coping mechanism. You dared to look at him, a small smile playing on his lips-oh, his lips… and that small scar on his upper lip… 


It was your birthday, it was Saturday and it was freezing. You had the day to yourself since your friends had visited Hogsmeade. You had decided to stay and stroll around the almost empty castle. It was snowing and everything was covered in white. It was serene. You had purposely missed the breakfast so you could sneak something from the kitchens- some chocolate and tea would be nice. This time you greeted the house elves but since they didn’t have something to do, you wouldn’t keep them there, forcing them to make you something. You were a big girl. You could do it yourself.  

You were boiling the water needed for the tea when a small cough made you jump and spill it on you. Many profanities left your mouth that moment.
“I’m sorry, Y/N. Oh, Merlin, you must have burnt yourself” a guilty voice said, making you snap your head towards it. You were face to face with him. He seemed tired, exhausted really. And then you remembered… the full moon was two days ago. His eyes were more caramel that green, this time. You quickly muttered a drying spell along with a healing one and smiled comfortingly.
“No need to. I’m perfectly alright” you said extremely nonchalant. You returned to the counter and started preparing tea again.
“What brings you here, Professor?” you inquired amused. He let out a heavy breath and came next to you, placing his back against the edge of the wooden counter. Well, it wasn’t his back, but his hips… but that, you chose to ignore.
You had talked and chatted few times after class, before class, in between classes. For nothing and everything. Sometimes he would do the talking, sometimes he would listen. Sometimes he would let something small of his past slip. You could tell that he didn’t mean to, but he didn’t really regret it either. Sometimes your conversations would be about the weather; sometimes about the very meaning of existence. A week ago, he had found himself wanting to tell you about his secret. You had seen it in his eyes. That was the thing about you. People were opening up to you, easily. It had something to do with the fact that you never judged anyone, that you accepted almost everything, that you wouldn’t be afraid to fight and stand up for your loved ones. He had discovered that you may were just eighteen, but you weren’t just eighteen. And even though you didn’t know this, he had found himself waiting with anticipation your next talk.
He hadn’t answered when you handed him a cup of tea. It was your favorite and quite coincidentally his as well. He smiled at you, but he was tired and you felt bad for him. You reached for the top self-even though you weren’t that tall, you managed to get it. Two of the most amazing chocolate bars ever created. You smiled brightly, handing him one. He looked puzzled but entertained.
“When someone gives you chocolate, you don’t ask questions. You just take it” you said in a playfully serious tone, taking a sip of your tea. It was hot and exactly what you needed.
“Thank you, Y/N” he told you, rather moved by your small action. You just shrugged it off.
“So what brings you here?” he asked you, moments later, a smirk plastered on his face, lighting up the whole country.
“Hey!” you retorted. It wasn’t fair, using your question. He raised his eyebrows in amusement. You rolled your eyes, dramatically.
“Fine. I wanted to have my special day spent with chocolate” you informed him, but he furrowed his eyebrows. You sighed heavily to add to the drama.
“It’s my birthday” you said with a fake exasperation. His eyes twinkled with something that if you didn’t know any better you would identify as…hope? Mixed with something else. You couldn’t quite put your finger on it, but it was there. He placed down his cup and chocolate onto the table next to him.
“Happy Birthday!” he wished you, excitedly. Before you could answer, he had enveloped you into a hug. You were thrown off. Like, completely off. After a few seconds, though, you shyly hugged him back, whispering a ‘thank you’ before breaking apart. He seemed shocked and happy and more shocked. Like he didn’t expect himself to be that bold. Or you to return the gesture. He had even blushed-something that made you realize that your crush was long gone and it had been replaced by something deeper. A connection you couldn’t understand in all its glory because you had never felt like that before.
“Thank you, Professor” you said again but it didn’t feel right, calling him professor.
“Call me Remus outside the class” he said so naturally that, again, he was taken aback by his own words and boldness. You chuckled lightly.
“Remus” you said tentatively. He instantly smiled and your whole world seemed brighter.


You were proud of yourself. You hadn’t missed a single class and your grades were better than ever. You enjoyed school this year, but for entirely different reasons. It was something about him that made you feel… good, after a long time. You were very well aware of everything that would appear to be ‘problematic’. But you were also aware of your feelings. You felt l so naked when you were with him. He could strip you of your walls, of your guarded defenses, leaving you completely and utterly vulnerable. He had shattered any mental boundaries you had ever possessed. He left you breathless with his aura and creative, rhythmic way of speaking to everyone. You were losing your mind and falling into madness and it felt okay, almost a necessity. He showed you how to embrace the lack of time that humans all have, that death was the inevitable and that was not as important as people around you made it seem. You were out of your mind and that was such a wonderful thing.
Your conversations were longer and more meaningful; you had found yourself in the Astronomy Tower the other night, talking to him about your love for the night sky and how you preferred the stars over the moon. Especially the full moon-you had seen him tensed up a bit and you had ‘accidentally’ let a hint slip through your lips. You had gone silent after that until you decided to tell him. You asked him when he would trust you enough, if ever. He had looked bewildered and slightly worried. You had smiled his anxiousness away, letting him know that you knew, and it was perfectly alright because it was still him, even if he didn’t think that. That you couldn’t care less. You didn’t know this, but in that moment, he had to admit to himself something that he kept pushing away all this time. He was captivated by your very essence. And it didn’t matter that you were a student-he never saw you as anything less than an equal; sometimes he saw someone greater in you- greater than anyone who had met before. Someone who held the wisdom of the world inside their soul. You had told him that you had always felt older than your age and that even Dumbledore had said that sometimes you were older than him. He had laughed and that sound was honey to your ears.
Ever since that night, you were closer to each other, stealing glances and sending small smiles even across the class. You could sense that he was low-key, proud of you when you declined every single boy that had come up and asked you out on a date. You didn’t want to get your hopes up, but you felt it.
Due to your past of falsehoods, you had developed this theory that all men are no good, worthless. He had shown you that men could be loyal, passionate, tender, and caring creatures. The boys you have dealt with were the complete opposite. He had made you see that there was a huge difference between the boys you had dated and the man you craved. You had finally met someone who meant more than a lot to you. And not just the ‘he makes me feel special’ but that person that you would fight harder for than you would for yourself. That person that made you want to be better, that showed you your true essence that you didn’t know existed until they came along. You had discovered things about yourself just from being with him. It started as a crush; after a while, you found yourself in love; and now… you could feel something more. Something selfless. It was the little things he would do that made you smile and cry at the same time. You knew that he felt it too-maybe not in the romantic way you did, but still. There was a connection that no one could deny.
It was a cold February night but your heart was warmer than ever. In fact, it was so warm you couldn’t handle it. You couldn’t really take it anymore. You had found your way to his chambers. You didn’t really know how you were to say this. You couldn’t exactly walk in and go all ‘Hello, I’m in love with you. Okay, bye’. But once he opened the door, even that felt like a good idea. He was ravishing in the dim light. He smiled and it seemed that the sun had lost its glory. His eyes captured yours and you felt like you could melt under his gaze. You loved him. Merlin, you did. How could you be so stupid, thinking that it was just a crush? When you didn’t respond, he furrowed his eyebrows, asking you if you were alright, stepping aside so you could walk in.
The moment that door closed, every single restraint you had… was gone. Every single defensive mechanism… gone.
“I need to tell you something. I am in love with you. I have been for a while now. And I know that I am not supposed to feel that way. But I do and I can’t shake you off of my mind. You’re constantly there, reminding of everything I want and cannot have. Your mind is a masterpiece and your soul is ethereal. Extremely delicate and light in a way that seems too perfect for this world. Effortlessly, you shine brighter than the sun itself and when you smile, every pair of knees weaken, bowing down to the ingenious design you are. You are the kind of art that captures the blinding light that keeps me from opening my eyes, but how I foolishly don’t mind and long to go blind by such greatness. Your imperfections are my delight” you finally told him. You had let go of everything that was holding you back. You knew what he would tell you and you knew that he would try to make it hurt as less as possible, but he would start avoiding you. And even the thought hurt but you couldn’t cope with it any longer. When you finally looked at him, he was pale and visibly shaken.
“I think you should go” he said in a small voice. He didn’t sound mad or angry or strict. You nodded. You had clearly overstepped your boundaries. You reached for the knob, but before you opened the door, you whispered a question that would torture his mind for a while.
“Is it because of the ‘difficulties’ or because you don’t like me like that? I don’t need an answer. But you do”. With that, and a stolen glance you left his room, closing the door behind you.
You let out a long breath. At least, you were honest with him and most importantly, with yourself. He was your teacher after all and almost twice your age. You could see the ‘problems’ as other people would call them. You weren’t stupid. You were, however, completely, unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him. But that didn’t mean that he was. 


You were merely right. You hadn’t talked or chatted or looked each other ever since that night.  He wasn’t avoiding you per say, but he wasn’t thrilled spending time with you, either. And that’s why you never pressured things. You had done your part. And he had done his. It hurt because you were pretending you didn’t feel that way anymore, but in all honesty, you were falling even harder every time you saw him, thought about him… him. You had felt the urge to bang your head against a wall or something in order to stop thinking scenarios that would never be true.
Months had gone by. April was almost gone. You felt that you needed a change. That was the main reason that you agreed on a ‘friendly’ date. He was good looking, smart and funny. He was a really nice boy. But that was all he was. A boy. Nonetheless, you had decided to dress up a bit. It was spring and the sun was spreading its warmth all over the place, so after a lot of thinking you found yourself in a beautiful yet casual lilac dress, with your hair in loose curls and a touch of makeup. You looked good, you thought a tad surprised. You were about to turn when you bumped into someone. You would have apologized quicker if it wasn’t for your lack of focus.
“I-I’m sorry, professor” you whispered. You saw him grimacing at your last word but then his expression turned into one of admiration. You knew you had blushed, feeling his eyes roaming your body like a second skin. You locked eyes with him. You could see the desire in them. Act on it, you stubborn git, you thought to yourself. He opened and closed his mouth too many times. You just shook your head and left. Or tried to. His hand was wrapped around your wrist, gently, almost scared by the very action. You halted and faced him. You were done playing games. You have had enough. And he did too, apparently.
“I’ve tried distancing myself, making up excuses, intentionally finding reasons to avoid you but none of it ever worked” he admitted shyly but… finally. Your eyes widened a bit, your breath was caught on the back of your throat. Did he really just say that?
“Never have I felt something more compelling than this bond we share. But I’m your teacher and twice your age and that’s not even the worst part. I can’t escape these feelings but I don’t know what to do, Y/N” he continued. He seemed almost vulnerable. Feeling like you would explode, you slowly brought your hands to his face, cupping his cheek, electrified by the touch. He pierced your eyes with his and boy, you were a goner. Not being able to handle it any longer, you crashed your lips to his. It didn’t set off fireworks, it set off an atomic bomb. His lips were soft and warm yet hungry. He kissed you deeply and pulled you closer, his hands wrapped around your waist, holding you in place. You kissed him back with the equal amount of lust and hunger and emotion. You softly bit his lower lip, tracing your tongue across it. But he pulled away, leaving you… empty.
“We shouldn’t. This is wrong” he murmured trying to convince himself more than anything else. You grabbed his hand and without letting him complain, dragged him-quite literally- to his room. Thankfully it was just around the corner. 

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“Dennis’ Double Life” Defense & Explanations

In this post, I’ll attempt to explain/defend all of the controversial scenes in the Season 12 finale, “Dennis’ Double Life.” This write-up has helped me to appreciate the episode a lot better and it might help some people who have mixed feelings about the episode to view it in a different light.

NOTE: This is a mix of speculation and canon evidence.

Question 1: Why was Dennis a butt to Mac the entire episode, especially after he was so nice to him at the end of “The Gang Tends Bar”?

Answer 1: I will break this answer into three parts:

  • Part 1: I got the vibe that Mandy surprised Dennis with the visit, which explains why Dennis had mere seconds to tell the Gang to pretend that he was someone else. With the flesh-and-blood reality of Brian Jr. on his mind, I don’t think he had the mental energy to consider Mac at all. (In “The Gang Tends Bar,” Brian Jr. wasn’t there, so Dennis didn’t feel that immediate/strong pressure. Also, Dennis was emotionally vulnerable and available after having told the Gang about his “big feelings,” so he was able to react better to Mac)
  • Part 2: I’m not sure Dennis fully comprehends Mac’s feelings for him. I think he knows, to some degree, that Mac is attracted to him, but it wouldn’t surprise me if he sees Mac’s attraction to him as a kind of strange “hero worship.” Dennis verbally confirmed that Mac is gay in “Mac Day,” but he constantly acts weirded out or confused when Mac does/says something that shows that he has feelings for him. For example, in “Mac & Dennis Move to the Suburbs,” Dennis thought it was weird that Mac would name their dog Dennis Jr. That reaction, of course, mirrors Dennis’ reaction to Mac’s reveal that he perfectly recreated their old apartment. I don’t think he was trying to hurt Mac. He just flat out does not understand why Mac would go through all the trouble.
  • Dennis also doesn’t appear to understand his own feelings for Mac. He has asked Mac to “get off with him” (a “mostly sexual” manipulation game) and tried to get him to participate in a threesome with a male golf caddy in “Frank’s Back in Business,” admitted to Dee that he made his sex tapes for himself and Mac in “The Gang Group Dates,” stated that he has a thing with Mac where he picks out porn for them that he doesn’t want Charlie to join in on (“The Gang Spies Like U.S.”), and danced for Mac when he saw him avidly watching him in “PTSDee,” but he doesn’t see anything strange about this. It’s just par for the course in their relationship.
  • If Dennis has trouble seeing his own feelings, then like hell is he going to fully see Mac’s feelings. And if he can’t see Mac’s feelings, he can’t deal with them properly. 
  • Part 3: In the back of Dennis’ mind, he was seriously considering leaving the Gang and being a father to his son. He knows that leaving the Gang is going to hurt him, so he emotionally pushed them away. When the Gang becomes “lesser” in his mind, it doesn’t hurt as much to leave them.

Summary: Dennis was stressed the heck out about Brian Jr. and didn’t have the energy to deal with his relationship with Mac.

Question 2: Were Mac’s feelings for Dennis treated as a joke?

Answer 2: Not necessarily. Even though Dennis likes to act like he’s the smartest member of the Gang, Mac is clearly more aware and accepting of the nature of their relationship than Dennis is. Mac was 100% fine with them pretending to be a couple and raising Brian Jr. (with or without Mandy), not because he’s super desperate and lovesick, but because, no matter what they call their relationship (lovers, partners, pretend, friends), they’d still be together. Mac just loves being with Dennis and wants to help solve Dennis’ problem, so, of course, that would be his plan. (And it’s actually a good plan.)

It hurts the empathetic audience members to see Mac treated the way he is by Dennis, but it’s normal Dennis behavior that Mac has accepted. Mac has survived his internalized homophobia, his father’s dislike of him, his mother’s indifference to him, and the Gang’s occasional dislike of him. Mac is stronger than we think he is. And if he gets tired of Dennis, he definitely has the strength to walk away from their relationship relatively unscathed.

Summary: Mac was pretty much having fun playing a character (he even wanted his character’s name to be Griffin) and hanging out with Dennis and Dennis was stressed the hell out about Brian Jr.

Question 3: Charlie wanted to have sex? With The Waitress?

Answer 3: Yes. In “Charlie Has Cancer,” Charlie was visibly disappointed when he realized that he missed the chance to possibly have sex with The Waitress. In “Who Pooped the Bed?” a drunk Waitress stated that she would get drunker and bang a random dude and Charlie asked her if it could be him. In "The High School Reunion Part 2: The Gang’s Revenge,” when a drunk Waitress told the Gang that she’d bang the next person who talked to her, Charlie opened his mouth and stepped forward, but Schmitty came out of nowhere and The Waitress went home with him.

Summary: I know some people headcanon Charlie as ace and/or sex-repulsed (I personally headcanon him as gray ace) and that’s fine, but Charlie has expressed interest in having sex with The Waitress in the show.

Question 4: Why did the Waitress have sex with Charlie?

Answer 4: Surprisingly, the possibility of that happening was set up in a previous episode. In "Charlie and Dee Find Love,” (which was written by RCG) the Waitress reacted in an arguably jealous manner towards Charlie’s then-girlfriend Ruby (“Who the hell is this, Charlie?!”). Also, at the end of the episode, the Waitress told Charlie that she needed him in her life and that she was thinking about reducing his restraining order. Admittedly, the Waitress’ strange behavior was after Frank accidentally put rat poison in her shampoo (which made her sick) and hit her with his car (which put her in a hospital), so she could have some kind of permanent brain damage.

In the beginning of the show, the Waitress wasn’t attracted to Charlie, but was concerned about his well-being sometimes. (In "The Gang Gives Back,” she tried to help Charlie with his alcoholism) It’s possible that after “Charlie and Dee Find Love,” the Waitress’ view of Charlie started to change. As the years went on, the Waitress’ problems started to get worse and worse, and, like Cricket (her male counterpart), she still found herself continually drawn to the Gang. Even though she still thinks Charlie’s a mess, a part of her might think that he’s all that she has left. (And that might, sadly, be true) And, if Charlie can help her to fulfill her dream of having a baby, maybe things can get better for her.

Something I noticed as well is that the Waitress never said she loved Charlie back. It’s possible that she still doesn’t love Charlie and never will, but sees him simply as a partner that can help her to take care of her child. (Also, in order to get Frank’s money, she needs to be partnered with Charlie)

Question 5: What’s the deal with The Waitress acting the way she did after having sex with Charlie?

Answer 5: We don’t know that much about The Waitress, but we do know that she sometimes does/thinks weird stuff like the rest of the Gang. (In "Mac Bangs Dennis’ Mom,” The Waitress slept with Frank, a man she’s not attracted to at all, in an attempt to get back at Dennis because she thought he was cheating on her with older women. In “Charlie and Dee Find Love,” it’s hinted at that The Waitress might be stalking Dennis because she has his phone number even though he changed it. In “The Gang Group Dates,” after years of Dennis’ mistreatment of her, The Waitress was still excited about possibly being Dennis’ girlfriend.) Also, even though she was kind of aggressive towards Charlie, all of her points were valid, some of Charlie’s responses were dumb, and her dislike of Charlie is totally understandable.

Question 6: What’s the deal with Charlie freaking out after finally getting The Waitress’ attention?

Answer 6: Surprisingly, the possibility of that happening was set up in a previous episode. In Season 9’s "Flowers for Charlie,” Frank paid The Waitress to hang out with Charlie because he was getting worried about him after he started taking “intelligence” pills for an experiment. When the Waitress began talking about her life, Charlie immediately started getting annoyed, started hearing a ringing in his head, and had to leave. We found out at the end of the episode that these pills were placebos. Basically, this was a strong hint that Charlie might be in love with the idea of The Waitress, not the actual person. So, even though he has been stalking The Waitress for 15 years, he might not really want to be with the real her. (The fact that he thought of The Waitress’ negative reactions as a “game between them” is another hint, of course)

Also, even though Charlie fantasized about raising multiple children with The Waitress in “The Gang Saves the Day” (which aired before “Flowers for Charlie”), it was still a fantasy. Charlie might fantasize about having a nice house, a wife, and children, but he still likes living in his unfancy and dangerous apartment and doesn’t handle stress well. There are huge conflicts that he doesn’t see.

Also, keep in mind that he came up with the plan only a few hours earlier and he mentioned that he wanted to get The Waitress pregnant so she would be tied to him for life. (clearly no thought about the actual baby and being a father)

So, with Charlie being Charlie and the reality of the situation crashing on him, he is starting to freak out.

Summary: Charlie freaking out is 100% in character.

Question 7: Why was Charlie a butt to Dee after having sex with The Waitress?

Answer 7: Charlie is an idiot and a misogynist, so he projected his issues with women and The Waitress onto Dee. Also, as Charlie mentioned, Dee possibly tried to have sex with him an additional time after “The Gang Misses the Boat” and he didn’t want that to happen again that night. So, overly-stressed and tired Charlie absentmindedly begged Dee not to be a whore numerous times before immediately falling asleep on top of her because even though he has issues with women, he feels comfortable with Dee.

Summary: Charlie and Dee’s relationship in a nutshell.

Question 8: Why did Dennis want to leave the Gang to take care of Brian Jr.?

Answer 8: I get the vibe that this might have been the first time that Dennis actually held Brian Jr. (or he hasn’t held him in a while?). Holding the child made him really understand that he is a living, breathing being he created and not just an obstacle to overcome to get back to his usual life. And then the child knew who he was, which made everything feel even more heavy. This is the first time in Dennis’ life that he’s been responsible for someone other than himself. He knows that if he stays with the Gang, he’ll feel guilty for whatever happens to the child. He’ll feel guilty that the child knew who he was but couldn’t see him. And the fact that the Gang doesn’t comprehend this at all (Mac, for example, excitedly told him “The plan worked!”) pushed him even further away from them and towards his child.

Question 9: Why didn’t the Gang seem to care when Dennis left?

Answer 9: The Gang has a great track record of unusual responses to deaths and departures.

In “Dennis and Dee’s Mom Is Dead,” Dennis reacted to his mother’s death by partying/hazing guys in his mom’s house and Dee and Frank seriously considered grave robbing her. In "The Gang Gets a New Member,” Mac and Dennis had no problem kicking Charlie out of the Gang and replacing him with Schmitty. In "The Gang Beats Boggs,” Mac’s only response to a drunk Dennis spontaneously leaving their plane was to write the number of beers he consumed on his forehead. In "The Gang Misses the Boat,” the Gang “broke up,” yet everyone just spent the episode doing their own thing. In "Frank Retires,” the rest of the Gang started cheering and clapping after Frank declared that he would be retiring from the Gang. I could go on and on, but you get the point.

It’s very likely that the rest of the Gang is still in shock/denial about Dennis leaving and they are expecting him to come back soon like everyone always does.

Since the highlight of the night was firing Dennis’ RPG, they decided to not let Dennis’ departure stop them. (It also doubled as a nice, fiery distraction)

As for blowing up the Range Rover? They think Dennis intentionally left it and it’s the perfect target to take out any frustrations they had/have with Dennis. (This is also one of the reasons Mac, who gave Dennis his cherished RPG, is the one blowing up the Range Rover, one of Dennis’ most prized possessions)

When Dennis comes back, they can excitedly tell him that they blew up the Range Rover and it was awesome.

Question 10: Why did Dennis leave the Range Rover?

Answer 10: Dennis wants to take care of his child, which is a good thing, but he is clearly going through a crisis and is not thinking clearly. He mentally/emotionally disconnected himself from the Gang (notice that he said “The bar’s done” and turned off the lights even though the rest of the Gang is still there and can run the bar) and left everything that reminds him of the Gang behind (which explains why the Range Rover is still there). He did not even think about packing, called a taxi, and headed straight to the airport to fly to Mandy and Brian Jr.’s location. This is one of the reasons the ending feels so “off.” It mirrors Dennis’ mindset.

Question 11: Why did Dennis name his child after Brian Lefevre?

Answer 11: This was probably Mandy’s idea and Dennis went along with it because he couldn’t think of anything else. He also probably wasn’t in the right headspace to complain since he wasn’t ready to have a child.

Summer of Love Chapter 1: Cute

Originally posted by stallingdemons

Masterlist 

Relationships: Peter Parker x fem!Stark!reader, Tony Stark x Reader (father-daughter relationship)

Warnings: Light cussing, tons of fluff :)

Summary: Over the Summer Tony decides to have Peter come to the Avengers facility for a little “Summer camp” to help train him to be a hero. Peter comes ready to become an Avenger, but he didn’t expect to fall in love with with his mentor’s adopted daughter along the way…

A/N: Yes I know another Peter series! Don’t worry I’m still working on Partner’s in (Fighting) Crime, but I’m having a little bit of writers block for it at the moment, and I had this idea rattling around in my head and thought it might be nice to write so I thought I’d give it a shot! Please read and let me know what you think!


“This is so amazing this is going to be the best Summer ever!” Peter exclaims as he runs out of the car and Happy gets his bags out of the trunk of the car. 

“Yeah it sure will be.” Happy grunts and Peter rushes over and helps Happy out with the bags. “A whole Summer spent with you. Good times…” He groans and walks up the steps of the Avengers facility with Peter. 

Peter was practically exploding with excitement and happiness once he was inside. Sure he had been here before and even turned down Tony’s offer to be an Avenger but this was different. He wasn’t being pressured into anything this Summer. He was just going to be training with the team to hone in on his skills a bit more before school started again. He walked by the training facility and looked inside and smiled. 

“Wow…” He says and watches Iron Man and War Machine train in the big room through the window. “This is gonna be so awesome!” He squeals and hops a little bit. Happy sighs and rolls his eyes. 

“What is awesome?” Vision asks and goes through the wall, making Peter scream and jump onto Happy, in turn making Happy scream. 

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10

Michael Fassbender’s interview | The Official Collectors’ Edition of Alien: Covenant

Some Highlights: 

1. He (Walter) doesn’t fall in love with characters, whereas we saw a strange relationship between Shaw and David. 

2. (For David) The idea is that these human traits have started to overcome the synthetic ones - and I’ve treated him like a serial killer really. He’s afraid of things leaving him, so he incubates them. Like a Jeffrey Dahmer-type character, David doesn’t want things he loves to leave him, so he kills them and keeps them in caskets or preserved one way or the other. 

3. (David and Shaw) We could sense that the time that’’s passed has caused things to become a little bit fractious between the two of them. You get the impression that Shaw is wary of David, and I think he just wears on her nerves. He’s like this love sick stalker in space…

4.He(Walter) is purely logical and devoid of emotion, even if those around him, particularly Daniels, search for some sort of emotional connectivity with him; that’s not really there. 

5. (David and Shaw) He killed her, essentially, to prevent her from leaving him

6. (David and Walter) David tries to educate Walter. I think he sees himself as an older brother, and flirts with the idea of the two of them going into cahoots. But Walter’s programming just doesn’t allow for that, and eventually David realizes he’s getting in the way of his master plan. 

7. (David and Daniels) David, I think, finds these strong female characters attractive, and he’s really an old romantic. So he’s a little bit confused. He does have a scene with Daniels where he tries to simulate sex. He’s got a strange sexuality. he’s in a very confused state, because he feels these human characteristics- jealousy, vanity, pride - but he also has these sexual desires, which he obviously can’t act out, but wants to. 

I know this has been said, but I really love the Cool Kids from Steven Universe. I love how they are attracted to and appreciative of people who act genuinely, even if how they act is a little strange- like how Steven immediately catches their attention, they enjoy Sadie’s singing, and Buck thinks Lars’ “bingo bongo” is a cool and interesting thing to say. I love how they keep giving Lars chances to be their friend- they’re not put off when he bails on them, or acts weird around them, but instead go “no problem” and make more attempts to connect with him later. It’s nice to see people who are “cool” or popular use that popularity to be genuinely kind and inclusive.

Forever

Pairing: Stiles Stilinski x Reader

Author: @ninja-stiles

Words: 1811

Prompts: Could you not talk to her, please? I think she’s trying to date you.” “Shit, how’d you make me blush like this?” and “I wish we could stay like this forever…” by anonymous

Author’s Note: This is adurable. Enough said! Thanks to my lovely friend @lovelydob for proofreading this for me!!



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Imagine: You catch Ramsay's eye. He watches you, then he gives you revenge.

It was your voice that caught his attention. He was walking to feed the hounds when he heard you. You were by a small shop, talking to an old woman about how to make candles last longer.

He looked over, to try to see who had created such a beautiful sound. And it was you. Your physical features were gorgeous. Your hair was (H/L), and (H/C). It was a wonder how you looked so flawless. Ramsay stopped walking, fiddling with the keys in his hand. You looked wonderful delicious.

He was a young boy, a cruel boy. So the first thing on his mind was getting off. Satisfying his urges and lust.

Your eyes were dark, and when you noticed the lord was staring you looked over at him. Your heart also leapt. Those pretty big eyes locked with his and both your stomach’s jumped. It was like time froze. His throat tightened.

You smiled politely, before looking back to the woman you were talking to. It pissed Ramsay off greatly. He wanted your attention. He wanted you to think about him. To wonder. To lust. He wanted your mouth to water when you saw him.

He remembered your face and fed the dogs.

***

“I want five men following her at all times.” Ramsay said to his advisor. Since he killed his father, he was the warden of the North. So he was in control of everyone there.

“Gutter, Thoro, Tames, Red, and Scout.” He announced. “You five will make sure no harm comes to her. Do not let her know you are there, though. If she comes in contact with any of you, I will kill you.” He smiled darkly. “Understood?” They nodded. “Good.”

Ramsay had to admit, he was being stalkerish about this. But he had to make sure his little cardinal was safe. Especially out here in the North.

He found out soon you were a lady, you had visited from the fingers and decided to stay. You had formed a bond with one of the bed warmers, but thankfully you weren’t one of them. Ramsay would have to kill every man who touched you.

A few days went by and he convinced the bed warmers to get to know you, and tell him about you. Things you liked, loved, and hated. Your favorite flowers and books.

After a month he found out where you lived. It wasn’t from lack of information and struggle, it was because he had lots of things to do. But your place was in the tavern, sleeping in one of the rooms with your friend Ross.

He sent you the first gift right after that. It was a bundle of (F/F), your favorite flower. He didn’t let you know it was from him, though. The game was too fun to give that away so fast.

He ordered Ross to tell him how you reacted. And, it disappointed him. You didn’t seem happy, you looked annoyed. If Ross was being truthful, you even said “what dirty old man sent me this?”. Ross tried to convince you it was a romantic gesture. But you didn’t care. You were stuck on the idea it was some creep who wanted into you.

For the next few days he focused on his work. He didn’t care for getting Sansa back. He had another lady in mind. But he was still going to storm castle black. He was going to spoon Commander Snows eyes out. It infuriated him that the stark bitch and Reek escaped.

But he didn’t care too much. His army would win anyways. Soon enough he started thinking about you again.

He had heard you liked talking forest walks, from his five men who had followed you. You would go down the stream, into the woods, and you’d sit on a tree stump and just look at the sky and read. It was beautiful, when he pictured it in his mind. So he decided to go see for himself.

It was really early, the times you went to take your walks. He was fine with it, the waking up early bit. He dismissed his guards and walked far behind you, able to see your hair faintly from far in front of him. He wished he was a little bit faster. Soon enough you turned into the woods, going to sit on your big tree root and admire nature.

When he walked into the woods he saw you were crying. You had your arms wrapped around your legs, your forehead on your knees. His heart caught on fire. Who did this. Who caused you this pain? He would flay their neck and make them live like that.

You didn’t hear him walk up to you, sitting down next to you. “My dear…” He finally spoke up and you gasped, jumping away. “Woah now, calm down please.” He smiled at you. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

“Lord Bolton?” You trembled, wiping your tears away.

He smiled, nodding. “And you are?”

“(Y/N). (Y/L/N).” You sighed. “Sorry. Excuse me.. but… What are you doing out here?”

“I was about to ask you the same thing, sweetling.” He said. You were beautiful. Seeing you up close was like seeing an angel. It made him believe in gods.

“Just walking.” You said, and he said the same.

“But why are you crying?” He asked. He wanted you to tell him so badly. So he could find whomever or whatever caused you this pain.

“It’s stupid.” You said, and he was surprised at your comfortability with him. It was probably because you were so hurt. And it made him angry.

“I doubt that.” He said.

“My betrothed…” You had whimpered and tried not to cry. “He slept with one of my friends…”

That made him angry in three ways. Your lover hurt you, your friend hurt you, and you had loved someone in such a deep way.

He stood up, and you looked at the tall handsome lord. “Ramsay?”

“Come with me.” He held out his hand and you pulled herself to your feet. He hugged you tightly, and you started sobbing. It was strange to get comfort from him. But you needed it. “Shh, my dear..” He soothed you, rubbing your head. He gently rocked you back and forth. He separated from you and smiled. “Show me them.”

Your eyes widened. “You don’t have to…”

Oh but he would. And he did.

He took your hand and you went back into the town. “Show me them.” He said again. You led him into the tavern, and he was hit with many foul smells. He wrinkled his nose in disgust. But you lived here, so he didn’t want to upset you. He put on a straight face and ignored the smells. You were too beautiful to be seen upset.

When people recognized him they gasped, standing up. The music stopped, and all the women froze.

“My Lord.” Ross, the main attraction it seemed, smiling and curtseying, spoke in her seductive voice. “What can I get you?”

“You think I’m here to pay for sex?” He laughed. You seemed uncomfortable so he saved his speech. “Nothing. I don’t need you.” He waved her away. She smiled and walked off. He turned to you, and he felt that same strange feeling of euphoria. His beautiful girl.

“Show me where they are, lovely.” He said to you, and you pointed to the back. Your room.

He grinned wickedly. “Would you like to see them bleed? Would you like to see them beg for their lives?”

“Don’t hurt them…” You said quietly. “Just scare them… Please…”

It made him angry and upset. He wanted to hurt them. He wanted to make them bleed. And scream.

Suddenly, an idea surfaced. He wouldn’t hurt them at all. But his hounds would.

“As you wish.” He smiled at you, and went into the room. A man and a woman lay asleep on the bed. The man was ugly, long hair. Very chiseled jaw. He had a slight beard. The woman was of course what every whore looked like. Long hair, thin eyebrows and lots of color on her eyelids.

“I will take them to my dungeon.” He smiled, and so he did.
**********
“Why did you do that for me?” You asked him. You were sitting in the woods again, the same pretty spot you always sat.

“Because it angered me to see you sad, love.” He said to you. “And, well, I can do anything I please.”

You smiled, and looked up at the sky. “But I can’t live in the tavern anymore.” You were right. They would never let you.

“You always have a place in winterfell.” He smiled at you.

“I don’t want to be a bother, my lord.” You said politely. He understood how you felt.

“Not a bother at all.” He told you. “I’d love to have you around.” He could imagine his hand around your throat as he fucked you. Your breath ragged as he made you feel such great pleasure. His tongue pleasing you. Your hand slapping his face. Your nails making him bleed. Your teeth making him bruise.

You looked happy. And it made him happy.

He gave you a room beside his. Close to him, so he could make sure you had everything you needed. And so that he could get there quickly at night.

Once, he was in his room killing time before dinner. He heard you crying,and he rushed in your room. “(Y/N)!” He kneeled next to you. You looked terribly sad. Crying again, like when he first met you. “Poor beautiful cardinal, tell me what’s wrong.”

“I keep thinking about it Ramsay I can’t fucking stop thinking about his bloody face and her hair and how they had sex in the bed I slept in since I was 12!” You leapt at him weeping. You sobbed into his arms and he held you, sitting on the floor.

“My sweet rose.” He sighed, petting your (H/C) hair. “You didn’t want me to hurt them then. Do you want me to now?”

You looked up at him through your red watery eyes. “Make them wish they were never born.” You said through your teeth. He grinned wickedly. He was rubbing off on you perfectly.

You looked at the two people tied on the X. Melisa, and your former lover, Leo. There was anger in your eyes. Normally, even in this situation, a girl would be scared. She would feel sympathy. But you, oh, you. You loved it. You wanted to see them hurt.

It thundered loudly outside, and you jumped a bit. His heart leapt. You were so beautiful. He wanted to protect you from everything. He would do anything to see you happy.

“What do you want me to do with them, my rose?” He asked you, and you looked up to him with those big (E/C) eyes.

“What causes the most pain?”

Hate

ALRIGHT FUCK IT I’M POSTING THIS

so, because hs ruined my sense of right and wrong, i decided i was going to write some blackrom prinxiety. for the unitiated, blackrom is essentially when you love to hate someone and also kinda want to make out with them. so, there is going to be harsh language, a bit of violence, that kinda stuff. if any of that makes you uncomfortable, don’t read this. 

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All The Sights of Paris

A new Zimbits fic!

Hello all. I have just completed my longest Zimbits fic to date. I’m very excited to share it with everyone. It features an amazing artwork by the talented @happyzimm.

Head over to AO3 for the full fic. Here’s a preview…

-

Summary: Eric and Jack meet atop the Eiffel Tower. It’s the beginning of a few whirlwind days together, but Eric’s leaving soon. How much can really happen between them in just a few days?

-

Eric hears the voice break through the clutter of other languages. It’s accented, but it’s English. Finally.

“Excuse me.” He taps the shoulder of the man who’s been speaking on his phone.

The man turns, and Eric’s breath catches. He’s gorgeous. If Eric knew, he probably wouldn’t have approached him at all. Eric enjoys flirting, generally speaking, but he’s terrible at flirting when he actually cares to.

But that’s not why he interrupted this man’s enjoyment of the Eiffel Tower.

“Yes?” The man says, looking down at Eric from a fair few inches above him.

Eric clears his throat, and tries to clear his head of distracting thoughts about the man’s eyes. “I was wondering, would you be able to take a picture of me, please?”

“Sure,” the man agrees with a shrug, and a small smile.

Eric is relieved. He’s been waiting for almost ten minutes for another English speaker. He didn’t think it would take so long, and he was too nervous to try using hand gestures to communicate with a non-English speaker, even though everyone up here is probably used to it, or has done it themselves.

“Thank you so much,” Eric says gratefully. He hands the man his phone, camera app already open. “Just tap anywhere on the screen.”

“Alright,” the man accepts, looking down to the camera screen.

Eric moves back to the edge of the platform and smiles at the camera. The man takes a few moments to figure out Eric’s phone, then he lifts his gaze to Eric. His eyes narrow slightly, and he takes a step to one side before lifting the phone and taking the photo.

“Hang on, I’ll take another,” he says, already moving to a new angle.

Eric just keeps smiling, though he’s been holding it a while and thinks it’s slipping into being fake. He moves his arms to a slightly different hold in case the other one turns out bad. He doesn’t want to have to ask this man to take another photo just because his arm looks funny. He’s intruded enough.

The man raises Eric’s phone again and points it toward Eric. Eric can see him tapping several times, taking multiple photos. The man has got little furrow lines between his eyebrows, which Eric can’t help but think is very attractive. There’s something about a man so focused that speaks to Eric.

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