is it me or is my arm bigger than the dog

anonymous asked:

I dare you to tell another story from the apartment

ALRIGHT BOYS GIRLS AND EVERYONE WHO THINKS THE GENDER BINARY IS FOR SQUARES IT’S STORY TIME.

Today, we’re going to talk about the time Paul’s desire for superior firepower turned into a mini arms race that ended with me setting Eric on fire with a homemade flamethrower.

No, Matt Boomer, you sexy motherfucker, I am not kidding you. Let’s begin with some details.

So when I was at the University of Iowa, several people, including myself, bought Nerf guns for impromptu battles in the hallways when we had free time. Mostly this was all good, clean fun, except for two of the guys down the hall, my roommate, and I.

We all thought, rightfully so, that factory built Nerf guns are bullshit. They’re weak, darts are too fucking light, the barrels cause too much friction, which makes them inaccurate and slow, and you have to re-cock them after each shot. That’s some fucking bullshit right there. So we fixed it.

We bought new, higher tensile springs. We bought PVC pipe and lubricant. We put BBs in the tips of our darts, and my roommate and even put in a second spring to automatically cock the gun, essentially turning them from bolt action pieces of shit into semi-automatic friendship-ruiners.

So when I moved back to Chicago, and into the apartment, I obviously brought my Nerf guns (my roommate gave me his when we moved out), and I obviously attacked my roommates the first opportunity I had. OBVIOUSLY this led to everyone buying Nerf guns and modifying the shit out of them.

However, some of us were terrible shots, so certain measures had to be taken to make it possible for them to keep up. Brad practiced in his room every day, Josh built an extended clip for his gun, and Kyle bought the fucking Vulcan and built a 600 dart belt for it because he decided aiming is for people who can’t fire 6 darts a second (he modded it for doubled firing speed using a small car battery and replaced mechanics).

And then there was Paul.

Paul was fucking terrible. Like almost so bad it couldn’t be for real. He once tried to ambush me coming around a corner from 2 feet away and missed by a good 6-7 inches. He literally could have slapped me and he missed. Whatever moving on.

So Paul decides to solve his aim problems in the most Paul way possible: online shopping. He bought 500 foam pellets for a marshmallow gun, two dozen foam discs, and a motherfucking t-shirt cannon.

You see, Paul, much like Kyle, decided aiming was for lames. So he would pour foam pellets into the cannon until it was half full, slip in a disc to keep them from falling out, then shotgun people in the face. I was his first victim and boy let me tell you that shit is terrifying.

So Paul became the big dog in the house during Nerf battles, and the rest of us found ourselves unable to compete. So we all escalated in our own insane ways. Eric and I, the former champions, modified our guns to fire faster, Brad added an extended magazine to his gun, Kyle built a harness so that he could shoot his fucking stupid fucking bullet-storm piece of shit while moving. Josh booby-trapped various parts of our apartment. Suddenly, we were all better than Paul again, so he decided to step his game up.

He started making paper cartridges that would explode open once fired. Suddenly, he could actually fire multiple times a minute, which meant once again, he was at the top. It didn’t help that our reluctance to shoot back out of fear of getting shot was allowing him to take his time, therefore drastically improving his aim.

So we stepped up again. I smooth out the cocking mechanism on my guns, improving my firing speed even faster. Eric adds more weight to his darts, making them heavier and faster and much more painful. Kyle buys a bigger battery, newer parts, and he perfects his belts, which increases his firing speed to 12 darts a second.

So Paul steps up to take advantage of his improved aim and buys something called a Pucker Chucker which basically is a t-shirt cannon except it shoots foam pucks. This means we can’t just shoot at him from the other side of the apartment anymore, so we all step up again. I modify the rail on top to make aiming easier, Eric modifies his grip to make it more comfortable, Kyle and brad modify their barrels to make them more accurate, and Josh jumps on board the crazy train and builds a goddamn under barrel cherry bomb launcher.

And this is where shit starts to spiral out of control.

Brad starts making smoke grenades, Kyle solves his weakness against close quarters combat by using his battery to create a cattle prod to keep people back. Eric breaks the head off an old golf club to use the shaft as a weapon, I put pins in the tips of all of my darts, and Paul realizes that the Pucker Chucker can also shoot real hockey pucks after he steals my bucket of pucks from my room.

So it escalated a couple more steps but I’m going to leave them out partially out of a desire to keep moving forward and partially out of shame anywhoozle when we pull out our final contraptions and modifications that day we shifted from light-hearted fun that was a bit too far to literally combat. Josh had a sword. I don’t know where he got it from.

That battle was terrifying. Our normal fights were like an hour, two hours tops, then we would clean up, get together in the living room with some beers, and laugh about what happened. Honestly we should have known this was going to happen because when we did this after our previous fight, the laughter was less “haha remember when I shot Josh in the butthole? Classic.” and more “haha remember when I missed your face with that puck? Next time I won’t miss.

So we somehow get into a battle again and this time things go south quickly which is bound to happen when you have a dude in a speedo swinging a sword around while rolling fireworks down the hall. It was literally chaos. There were fireworks and homemade smoke grenades and Kyle made the electrical current in his cattle prod too strong and it was too close to the muzzle of his Vulcan so every few seconds you would just see a flaming dart wiz past and I built a fucking flamethrower and I don’t know what the fuck is going on so I’m just firing it in the general direction of Josh to keep him the fuck away. At some point Brad barricades himself in his room, and so we all run back to our rooms and hide.

We do this for three days. THREE DAYS. I missed classes. We all had junk food in our rooms, and private bathrooms, so that’s what we sustained ourselves on for three fucking days. I, however, try to eat healthy, so I ran out of food almost immediately. After not eating for a day and a half, with food literally less than 50 feet from where I was hiding, I decided that I was willing to risk a trip to the kitchen.

So here’s something important about our apartment: I was the only one who knew how to cook. I had tried to teach the others, but all that had accomplished was several kitchen fires. This meant when Eric also ran out of food, he knew the only way to get a meal was to make peace with me. So he had snuck down the hall to my door, intent on asking me for help.

I did not know he was there.

So when I opened the door and saw a crouching figure in the shadows nearby, I assumed, I think justifiably, that it was the guy who had been swinging a sword at all of us the last time I saw him. So I pulled the trigger on my homemade flamethrower, only to see Eric’s horrified face illuminated by the flames for a split second before they hit his torso.

Luckily, I was using a scavenged fuel source (computer screen cleaner), so the flames were weak, but still fire is fire and fire fucking hurts. So Eric is rolling on the floor with first degree burns on his stomach and chest, and I’m freaking out because Eric is my friend and I just set him on fire, so there is now a lot of screaming coming from the hall.

Now, to lighten the mood slightly, here’s a personality test. You hear the sounds of fire, followed shortly by screaming coming from the hall outside your room. What do you do?

Do you assume the crazy sword guy has finally snapped and is going to kill you all, so you climb out the window onto the fire escape? Congratulations, you’re Brad.

Do you hear the cries of pain and grab a first aid kit before sprinting into the hall to help? Hey! You’re Kyle!

Do you hear the flames so you sprint into the kitchen to grab the fire extinguisher? You are Paul.

Do you come out into the hall to see what’s going on but also bring your sword just in case you have to stab someone? You are Josh and also mentally unstable please put your sword away.

So Kyle comes out and he and I start administering first aid and luckily through a combination of the weakness of my fuel source, how quickly I stopped the flames, and the quickness of our treatments, Eric only gets some first degree burns on his torso. Paul puts out the last of the flames, Josh decides he doesn’t want to stab anyone today, and Brad decides that the lack of screaming is a good thing and he comes inside. I spend the next hour apologizing profusely while cooking everyone dinner, and we decide that hey we should probably have some rules for our Nerf fights to prevent this from ever happening again.

So we all eat, we establish rules about modifications and ammunition, and at the end of it all, we grab some beers, head into the living room, and tell Josh he needs to get rid of the sword seriously dude where did you get that from?

anonymous asked:

dark rc would you please consider writing about how victor (and the rest of the Russian skate team) had a feud with the Russian hockey team bc of their constant flirting and attentions towards yuuri (who was completely oblivious at the war waging for his heart)??

This has been sitting in my inbox for over a month and I apologize for that, nonny! I wanted to try my hand at breaking through this writer’s block and this prompt was ripe for the taking. It’s not my best work by any stretch, but it’s something at least! I hope you enjoy.

+

There are few things that give Yuri pleasure—the taste of accomplishment like cinnamon sugar on the back of his tongue after landing a quad; having a comeback so cutting that he practically draws blood; that soft murrf a cat makes when it decides it trusts him; the little green screenshot arrow appearing next to Otabek’s name in Snapchat—but they all pale in comparison to whenever the Russian hockey team visits the rink.

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Knuckles : Boxer!Ashton (Part 2)

sorry it took so long! special thank u to Ashley (@thesaltyspice) for helping me come up with ideas for this a million years ago xx

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Part Seven  | Part Eight

[Following anyone/everyone who leaves some form of thoughtful feedback x]

- Knuckles Playlist


“Look at that one.”

“That one over there?”

“Yeah,” you confirm with a pout. “I want it.”

Ashton chuckles and looks to you at his side. “That’s the fourth dog you’ve said you wanted since we got here.”

It’s true, but you can’t help it. You always get dog-envy at the farmers’ market, exposed to too many cute pups at once for your little heart to handle.

“We should get one,” you say passively, adoring a large german shepherd trotting by with its owner. “Y'know, if we ever live together.”

Ashton smirks, turning his head. “I love how you’re not even worried about scaring me with plans for the future.”

Your cheeks redden, having not noticed the implications when you said it. It’s only been three months since the fight that started it all, since you and Ashton agreed to give your relationship a title, and you suppose you should be more careful about vocalizing your whimsical thoughts. Your guard just naturally falls around him, the pressure to play safe wiped away by his equal and obvious feelings toward you. Talk of commitment doesn’t affect him the way it does most people. If Ashton was going to run, he would’ve done so by now.

You glance down at his fingers between yours, smiling because you don’t think he’s let go of your hand all day. With his hectic training schedule for another upcoming fight and your demanding attendance at university four days a week, the two of you have recently been missing each other more than actually seeing each other, and it appears Ashton wants to make up for lost time in the form of suffocating your palm–not that you mind. For someone whose fists can be classified as lethal weapons, he has quite a gentle grip when it comes to you.

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The Painting

Hi babes!💘 this is a smutty oneshot about the reader ignoring Tom when she gets an idea for a new painting, and Tom only wanting to gain her attention more! A small argument and sexy time ensues! I hope that you guys like it!👼🏻

The Painting

When Tom had come home, he’d found her with her hair tossed messily into a bun, stains of color smeared across her skin, and standing in front of a rather large canvas dressed in an imbrued art smock. The smock in which his girlfriend sported was backless, and Tom was delighted to find that she was wearing nothing but a pair of sheer, pink panties and bobby socks beneath it. He not only had a clear view of her legs, but her bum as well, and there was absolutely no way Tom thought that he would be complaining about anything when she was in such a state, but, there he was, complaining.
“Baby,” Tom whined, flopping into the nearest chair to her, “pay attention to me. I’ve spent my entire day missing you and now you’re barely even speaking to me.”
She sighed, scrunching up her nose and pursing her lips, scrutinizing the piece of art in front of her. Crossing the room to mix together a concoction of red, pink, silver and white paint to create the perfect rosy tint, she answered Tom. “You know that I’m not trying to ignore you, I love you. It’s just that I think I may finally be breaking through the weird mental block I’ve had for a while.”
Tom nodded, understanding that she supported his artistic expressions, so he would have to buck up and support hers. It wasn’t as if he was unhappy with her painting, in fact, he was the exact opposite. He was thrilled to see her final product, and he loved seeing the spark of imagination light up her eyes, but as Tom said before, he missed her so much. Their time together had always been limited and he was jealous that her painting was receiving more attention than he was, considering that she could spend a million and one hours with her painting at her leisure, but she had maybe 90 something hours with him .
She plopped down into Tom’s lap and kissed him on the cheek, “you can mix the paints if you wanna.”
Tom held the spatula that his girlfriend had handed over to him, and did his best to focus on following her directions, while defying the feeling of his girlfriend in basically squirming around on his lap while she glided her soft, warm lips up and down the base of his throat in between her orders.
“Can I see what you’ve done so far?” Tom asked, curious as to what she was even painting.
Her kisses paused briefly, and then started up again between the words she said, “No! You can only see once I’m finished. I want it to be a surprise.”
Tom groaned, “is this good?” he motioned the colors he’d mixed. When she nodded, she made sure to turn her head to press a heavy, hot kiss to Tom’s lips before she hopped off of him. Sliding a hand down his face, Tom got up to leave the room. If he’d stayed there any longer, the images of her bending over in next to nothing would make him too hard to bare, so he decided that while she painted, he would busy himself with whatever nonsense that he came into contact with.
It had been a day and a half since her art project began, and since then, Tom had learned how assemble both a dresser and a cabinet, fixed every leaky faucet and broken appliance in her apartment, and had perfected a few random recipes he’d stumbled across on the internet. He was going out of his mind.
As time went on, she became even more and more appetizing to him. She was passionate and focused and Tom was, at that point, hard. No matter how many hot showers, cold showers, or even baths he’d taken, it wasn’t enough for him. Tom felt that if he didn’t have the real her soon, he’d burst into flames or melt into a puddle of sticky goo that would stain her carpet.
A few hours later, he heard the pitter patter of her socked feet rushing to meet him in the bedroom. Laying across her bed, Tom rolled over onto his side and peered at her smiling face when she entered the room.
“Tom, I need you.” She said, a blissful expression warming her features.
He quirked a brow at her, “oh yeah? What for, my darling, little love?” He looked her up and down, taking in the paint soils splashed all over her body, the exposed skin of her legs, her lack of bra, and hoped her response would indicate that she needed him to take her.
She rushed forward and knelt down by his bedside, taking his hand in hers, “help me with the painting, I’m just about finished.” She kissed his knuckles and laid her head onto her mattress.
“I thought that I wasn’t allowed to see it until it was all done?” Tom said confusedly.
“I know what I said, but I’ve changed my mind. The painting needs your special touch!” As she got up off the floor, still holding his hand, Tom could think of more than a few things that could use his special touch.
When she finally brought him to a stop in front of her painting, Tom understood why she hasn’t allowed him near it. He could tell that the figures trapped within her canvas were lovers, even though they appeared to be more similar to florets than people. All the colors were soft and romantic, and he could see that she had added a tinge of shimmer to particular images, so the painting looked mystical and otherworldly. Truth be told, if he’d gotten anywhere close to it earlier in the day, he would’ve messed it up.
“Darling,” Tom breathed out, desperately trying to figure out how to express the level of his admiration to her, “I just don’t know how you manage to be so fucking magical all the time. It’s beautiful, I love it, but I’m afraid that me just standing this close to it will ruin it. Unless you need me to lift it, I don’t know how to help you.” Tom bent down and kissed her gently on the forehead, moving to tuck some of her untamed fringe back behind her ear, where he couldn’t help himself but press a kiss to her earlobe as well.
Tugging his mouth back down onto hers, she mumbled in between long kisses, “help me just fill in a few spots, then it’s yours. I read somewhere that if someone helps you complete a task, the task, or in this case, the painting, will make that person think of you.” She broke away from Tom for a brief moment, and Tom heard her airly whisper into the crook of his neck, “I wanna make you think of me.”
Tom’s eyes opened and he guided her body away from his, “what are you talking about?” He was so genuinely puzzled that his confusion took the place of his desire to have her until the sun came up. “I always think of you. Literally, always. Ask anyone I work with, I never shut up about you.”
“Okay,” she said, disbelief laced firmly into her tone. Grabbing a paintbrush, she leaned into Tom to kiss him again.
“No, no, baby. Honestly, do you not believe me?” Tom was growing so perplexed that he was starting to get angry. “I love you, do I not tell you enough or something?” He knew that he was being abrasive and slightly over sensitive, but he didn’t know why she was playing as if Tom didn’t care for her.
Groaning, she walked out of Tom’s reach and back to where she stored her varying paints. “Tom, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”
“Uhm, nope. I’m going to worry about this because I’m pretty sure that this is something most couples in a healthy relationship would speak about.” Tom said, moving to stand in front of her.
“Let’s not do this,” she said, pushing her art smock’s strap back up to it’s proper place on her shoulder.
“No, no, let’s!” Tom declared.
“Tom, no! There is literally no point to this argument, if you don’t want to help, it’s cool.” She stood onto her tiptoes to press a quick kiss to the corner of Tom’s unprepared lips. “See? It’s all good,” she said, going around Tom and back to her mostly filled in canvas.
“Please, can you just talk to me, darling?” Tom wrapped his arms around her waist and hugged her body to him as tightly as he could without crushing her. “I love you and what’s important to you is what’s important to me. So please, please clue me in.”
The girl didn’t even need to turn around to feel his puppy dog eyes burning a hole into her back. “Fine,” she said shortly, “when ‘Homecoming’ drops, you’re going to be huge, bigger than you already are. Like you’ve said before, life is going to change and nobody can say for sure what will and will not change, only that there will be changes, and if life makes you go away, at least you’ll have this painting. At least I’ll be remembered as the girl who painted you the weirdly rosy painting.”
Tom was so stunned that he couldn’t think of one appropriate thing to say. “Are you serious? Sounds like you’re pretty sure you know what’s going to happen with us, huh, smart girl?” He knew that getting mad wasn’t going to help the situation, but his feelings were hurt that she thought he’d drop her just like that.
Removing his hands from her body, Tom turned, “fuck it, that is so irritating. I am not leaving you, and unless you plan on ditching me, I think that we’re going to be together for more than a long while, darling.” He sneered, pacing back and forth across the limited space her living room provided. “This is ridiculous, you’re so intelligent, so why you’ve gotten that into your head, I have no idea. I’ve made sure to factor you into nearly all aspects of literally everything I do, now why do you think that is?”
She knew that she was being dumb, but she couldn’t help it. She was so paranoid that Tom would be out one day and he would come across someone shiny and new, and then he’d realize that being with her was not what he wanted anymore. When she started her painting, her only goal had been to give Tom something that would leave an imprint of her in his mind, so that no matter what happened with them in the future, she would still be apart of him.
Her eyes grew glassy and tears threatened to boil over her waterline and smudge her mascara. She was mad at herself for being so insecure, and for possibly ruining her relationship with the one thing she’d meant to sort of bandage over her issues, and she couldn’t come up with a statement to justify herself to Tom.
Tom looked over to her figure, standing in front of the pink canvas, frilled bobby socks and lacy blue panties in all. Even though he was both pissed off and taken aback by her behavior, Tom couldn’t deny the urge to just slam himself into and make her understand she was the only person on the planet for him. Muttering, “oh, for fucks sake,” Tom marched purposefully over to her and smashed his lips roughly down onto hers.
Yanking her hair out of it’s rubber confinement, he broke away from her to watch it tumble down in waves to frame her face. Forcing her to look into his eyes by pressing a finger beneath her chin, Tom practically growled, “I am not going anywhere without you in my life. It’s like they say on that one soap opera that never seems to end, you’re my person. Couldn’t leave you to save my life, I’d come back to you forever.” He looked into her eyes, trying to find better words to make her understand that he was completely and utterly dead serious. “Get it?”
Her lips were puffy and her skin was still soft, despite being nearly every color of the rainbow and Tom was going to rip that smock off her body if it was the last thing he did. He could tell that she was humiliated that she let her paranoia get the best of her, and Tom, for a brief thought thought that she deserved it for thinking so lowly of their relationship. He only stopped once he took into account that if the roles were reversed, he’d be a snivelling mess of a human being because she was an angel among humans. He didn’t deserve her, but then again, surely no one else did either.
Tom’s grip on her calmed and he lovingly pried the paintbrush out of her hand and shuffled her around in his arms so that she too faced her masterpiece. “We’re going to paint this together,” Tom said, as his hands began softly untying the knot of her smock. “I’m going to continue thinking of you always and forever, even though you’re still going to be my girl and I’ll still be undeniably yours. Got it?”
Her eyes fell shut and she gasped when she felt Tom’s mouth press adoringly wet kisses to her exposed shoulders. She arched her back as one of Tom’s hands moved to the front of her body to knead her breasts. Blinking her eyes open, she saw that Tom’s other hand was still clutching the paintbrush and that he was currently dipping its tip into a circle of paint. “Answer me,” Tom ordered, sinking his teeth into her skin.
“Got it, got it, got it,” she rambled out dreamily. “Gonna be your girl forever.”
Maneuvering her slightly so that his view of the canvas would be clearer, Tom began to paint the little empty spaces she’d left for him with long brushstrokes. “That’s right sweetheart, my girl forever.” Switching hands, Tom held her to him with the hand that was also holding the paintbrush, and yanked the closest chair in arm’s reach over to where they stood. Sitting down, Tom guided her around to face him before pulling her onto his lap.
Her cheeks were rosy from a mix of blush and paint and her lips were parted and her chest was heaving. Her gaze flicked up and down Tom’s body so obviously that he had to smirk. Forcing her closer, Tom brought his hips closer to hers and watched as she subconsciously leaned into him, bracing her hands on his chest.
She shuffled a bit further onto his lap, so that she was aligned perfectly with the bulge in his jeans. Letting out a gasp, her hips bucked against him and she bit down on her lip to prevent another louder gasp from escaping.
Tom’s arms constricted themselves around her, one went around her waist and the other tangled itself into her hair. “I think the painting is finished.”
Not even turning to look, she nodded, breathing out a response so faint that Tom couldn’t even make it out. She slid a hand under Tom’s shirt to trace over the lines of defined muscle on his stomach. “I’m really sorry about earlier. I don’t know why my head makes me think things like that.”
Tom kissed her tenderly on both cheeks before placing an even softer kiss to her mouth, “it’s alright, darling. I don’t know why I got so mad before. I honestly don’t know how my head would make me think if our roles were reversed.”
“I’ll love you forever,” she said, rolling her hips onto Tom’s lap.
“I’ll love you for some time after that,” Tom chuckled, his hips beginning to meet hers. “But don’t take my word for it,” Tom began to litter kisses up and down her throat while he reached up to untie her smock, “let me show you how fucking much I love you.”
“Okay,” she said, her lips covering Tom’s as his hands tore the art smock from her body. Their hips collided as their clothes became one with her floor, and the rosy painting in front of them was to be hung and framed in the apartment that they came to share.

Realtalk: Beauty and the Beast

((Spoilers: DUH))

Okay, but jokes about bad CGI wolves aside, Disney’s latest live action remake just served to remind me what didn’t work in the last few films. Keep in mind this is all my opinion and you don’t have to agree to any of it.

I could appreciate the effort they took in better explaining the lore. The classic film implied Beast could be as young as 11 when the curse took effect for them to be wasting away for “ten years” (as stated in the original Be Our Guest), and a lot of people were left puzzling as to how exactly an entire town failed to notice the ominous castle sitting on their outskirts for all those years. But as with all the other remakes Disney also attempted to flesh out the characters, usually in the form of a heavy backstory, and this is where they always seem to fall flat for me.

This is the main problem I have with live action: they seem to struggle in deciding which tone they want to run with. Do they want to prove they can play with darker and more sombre themes? Those poignant backstories and frequent deaths in the families would suggest so. But then they turn right around and try to emulate the cartoon almost frame for frame. Suddenly the action sequences, one-liners, and visual gags look too hammy and out of place, especially when juxtaposed with the aforementioned Dark Subjects. This isn’t helped by the uncanny valley characters at all.

I’m sure some kids out there find all of this enjoyable and see no problem with the new films (though personally if I saw that CG Lumiere as a child I would have run screaming out of the theatre), but all I could think as I watched Beast tear through the tower pining and singing his heart out was:

“Holy shit Disney, you should remake Hunchback of Notre Dame.”

Think about it: they could play with dark themes all they wanted and it wouldn’t feel out of place at all. The animated film was already one of Disney’s heaviest, in fact I feel it’s been swept under the rug as a result of its heavier tone. The characters themselves are some of Disney’s most subdued and wouldn’t be terribly difficult to translate into live action without changing too much, and they could go nuts with the special effects and locations all they want because it’s got everything.

Medieval city? Check. Tall, ominous towers? Check. Spectacular views for breaking out into song? Check. Political/social commentary still relevant today? Check. Vibrant/fictional locales to pour their CGI budget into? Check. They’ve got one of the best villains in that movie, whether you love to hate him or just … love … him … if you’re one of those weirdos.

But that brings up another point: if they did rework it, I want them to go really dark with it. I’m talking taking cues from their friends in Germany and Der Glöckner von Notre Dame, a musical that managed to preserve a majority of the film while also capturing the weight of the original novel.

Don’t try to redeem Frollo like you did with Maleficent. Preserve all the slimy, misguided, despicable facets of his personality. Don’t gloss over the political commentary of gypsies in Paris, and highlight Clopin’s juxtaposed sides as a result–willing to do whatever it takes to survive even if it means stealing and murdering. We already have one of the most badass women out there in Esmeralda, and finally one who isn’t a damned princess that needs her sparkly dress. Give Phoebus a bigger role, give us time to really see the conflict between his role in society and his moral compass. Focus on Quasimodo’s internal struggle, torn between his curiosity and love for the outside world, but also his blind loyalty and affection to the one man who raised him his entire life.

And for f**k’s sake those gargoyles better be hallucinations to illustrate the toll a lifetime of solitude has taken on the poor guy or I am going to flip some heavy Medieval tables.

And finally Esmeralda dies. No-one gets the girl. Phoebus fails at his job, people get hurt as a result, and he can’t even save the love of his life. And Quasimodo is left utterly broken hearted and alone, with neither his father figure or his friends by his side. The movie ends as the stage play did: with our hunchback carrying the gyspy in his arms in a sad nod to the iconic “Sanctuary!” scene, walking away into the dark unknown, presumably to die as he did in the novel, with Esmeralda in his arms. A sombre Clopin, knocked back down to a beggar (if not dead as well during the seige), narrates the closing scene.

Because life sucks and that’s what you get for attempting to turn a Victor Hugo Novel into anything less than a tragedy.

TL;DR: Disney remake HoND. I double-dog-dare you.

(Oh my god I have not drawn these guys in literal ages. It felt so weird!)

dad!yoongi + the pawful experience 

“Return it.” Yoongi sneered.

You rolled your eyes at him, “No.”

“Goddamnit.” He huffed, glaring at you, his hands perched on his hips like they usually did when he was about to go off on one of his tangents. “Three, ___. I gave you three children, is that not enough? Do you have a fetish for cleaning up shit that is not yours or something? Where the hell are we going to put a dog?”

“He can have your side of the bed if you insist on being an ass, Min Yoongi.” You seethed, turning your attention from the aggravating man to the lump of fur that was nestling deeper into your lap, “Your yelling is upsetting Min Holly.”

Yoongi cringed behind you, gripping the fabric of his jeans to keep from strangling you, “Don’t give that dog my last name I want no part in its upbringing.”

“You’re so immature.” You scoffed, petting the toy poodle in your lap.

“Says the person who went out and spontaneously bought a fucking puppy with that overgrown toddler Taehyung.” He hissed.

“You’re the only one who has an issue with the dog, Yoongi.” You sighed, “The kids love him.”

“Of course the kids love him, our son also loves eating his own boogers so excuse me if I’m not about to go off the advice of a fucking six year old.” He whisper yelled as he glanced over at said toddler who was currently trying to run away from his own shadow, and when all else failed sat on the floor and began screaming.

Yoongi pinched the bridge of his nose, before gesturing to your son who you were looking at with what could only be described as pure exhaustion, “I love him. I do. He’s my son and I love him. God, but he’s an asshole.”

“You can’t call our kid an asshole.” You murmured, but it was halfhearted.

“Why not?”

You paused at that before staring up at Yoongi’s blank expression, “Not in public.”

There was an amicable silence between the two of you as you stared on at your child who had gone from wailing in frustration on the floor to giggling with his toys not even a second later, the contrast in mood almost frightening.

“We’re not finished talking about the dog, ___.” Yoongi sighed, “I hate animals. You know I hate animals.”

“You also hated me and children but look where we’re at now.” You shrugged.

Yoongi put his tongue in his cheek, “Yeah well you let me fuck you and those are my asshole children as a byproduct of me fucking you. Seeing as I can’t fuck this dog—”

Ew.”

“—and you didn’t give birth to it I want it out of my house.” He gritted out.

You glared up at your husband, “You’re being impossible!”

“You should’ve spoke to me before making a decision like this!” He yelled back, looking truly upset for the first time since you had started arguing, “I don’t give a shit about the stupid dog I give a shit that you made this decision that would ultimately effect me and the kids and it’s not that big of a deal but you didn’t talk to me about it first and I find that really fucking annoying. So no I don’t like dogs but yes I would’ve given in in a fucking heartbeat like I always do when it comes to you or the kids, if you had just dropped me a text or phone call or casual fucking conversation over dinner instead of just going out on your own with Taehyung and surprising me with an entire other mouth to feed.”

By the time Yoongi had finished his rant you swore you had shrunk three sizes under his frown of disappointment. Being married to Yoongi, and having been dating him for even longer of course you had your fair share of fights but even then you could count those times on one hand, the rarity of arguments only heightening the hurt and dejection on his face as he sent you one more annoyed glance before tugging on his tie and heading to your bedroom.

You let out a sigh before looking down at a whimpering Min Holly.

.

Yoongi wanted more than anything to skip dinner that night, an entire hour of having to sit through a meal with you sending him puppy dog eyes because he knew you felt bad about what you did, all while the remaining guests of said dinner party remained oblivious to the quiet tension, too caught up with trying to gauge each other’s eyes out with spit balls? Yeah no thanks. And it wasn’t because he was the bigger person, or even because he was mature enough to sit down and talk things through with you like an adult—God no. But Friday’s were family nights, something even he wouldn’t dare go back on, for fear of having to deal with three, no four, dreadful little brats whining his ear off at canceling on them at the last minute. And while sitting through thirty minutes of ‘but daddy you promised!’ just sounded so fun, he relented before he had to deal with any of that, shuffling everyone into their respective car seats and pointedly ignoring you.

So alas, here he was, in his own personal hell that was filled with thirty or forty other screaming children all of who sure as hell didn’t belong to him, so he had no moral obligation to not trip that one fat kid that kept screaming and chasing his precious, precious, baby girl around the godforsaken ball pit, all while receiving blatant looks of outrage from you.

He shrugged, “Accident.”

You bit your lower lip, refusing to egg on his behavior as a very concerned looking parent came over to scoop their child up from in front of your booth.

There was a moment of silence—well as silent as it could get in a Chuck E. Cheese—between the two of you as Yoongi scrolled through his phone and you watched your daughters chase their brother around the slide. You snuck a glance Yoongi’s way before worrying your lip between your teeth. You hated when he was mad at you.

Sure he was grumpy and insufferable most of the time, but at least then he was scolding you and calling you a jackass, that was at least better than a cold shoulder from Yoongi. You dared a glance in the other direction before inching your way closer to him, willing the cushions of the booth not to give you away just yet as you clumsily climbed closer and closer.

Yoongi didn’t even look up from his phone when he felt your arms wrap around his waist, your chin finding purchase in the crook of neck.

“Yoongi-ah.” You murmured, before nuzzling closer for his scent. “I was wrong and I’m sorry.”

If there was one thing Yoongi could appreciate about you—well, one of many, it was that you didn’t dawdle when you knew you messed up, something that suited Yoongi’s frank personality well. It was the reason arguments never went on for long, especially when you hated grudges, you preferred to keep things open and aired out as you had once told him.

“I’ll return the dog tomorrow.” You said quietly, not really expecting an answer.

Yoongi turned then, withering you with a glare, “And make me look like the bad guy? Hell no. We’re keeping the damn dog and you owe me a weeks worth of blow jobs to make up for this.”

You smiled against his neck, even as you clenched your thighs under the table. “Anything for you, Yoongi.”

Yoongi rolled his eyes at you, but still turned in your embrace to place a chaste peck on your lips earning a mega watt smile that made his hearts do annoying backflips in his chest.

“Love you.” He grumbled.

“Love you too.” You sighed, lacing your fingers with his before returning your gaze back to the playground your children were occupying. “Also, I hate to ruin the moment but your son is naked in the ball pit.”

“Why is he always my son whenever he’s doing something stupid?” Yoongi scoffed.

“Oh my God Yoongi, he’s peeing, go get him!” You hissed, smacking his shoulder profusely as parents and staff gawked at your six year old.

“He’s already started you might as well —ouch! Ouch! Okay! I’m going! Jesus Christ!” He grumbled.

You stared in amusement as a very disgruntled, very annoyed Yoongi shuffled around the now vacated, as well as urine contaminated ball pit to collect your sons scattered clothing and scoop him up, screeching at the top of his lungs. Yoongi didn’t even bother to stop as he motioned for you to get the twins and grabbed the car keys off the table, shuffling out of the restaurant as fast as his little legs would take him. You sent an apologetic smile to your hostess and left a hefty tip for your server before nearly dragging your children into their car seats.

By the time you had gotten home it was already ten o clock but that hadn’t stopped Yoongi from sitting down a very petulant looking six year old and scolding him on social norms and how exhibitionism went against all of them, and also how pissing in public, in an effing ball pit while socially unacceptable was also hygienically unacceptable and when that went over his head he had resigned himself to glaring at the toddler until he finally slumped back in his high chair with a pout. While you had always agreed that your son had always looked more like Yoongi than yourself, in that moment while he was glaring and sticking his tongue out at his father he never looked more like a spitting image of the man, something that forced you to bite back laughter.

“No more kids.” He grumbled, taking a spot next to you on the sofa.

You stifled a giggle, cuddling up to his side.

“He’s so much like you it’s a little ridiculous.”

“He’s nothing like me.” He pouted, “I only claim those two angels who are probably upstairs doing angel things. I want a paternity test for the boy.”

“He flicked Taehyung off the other day over brunch and tried to choke Jimin when he told him he couldn’t stuff his phone in the garbage disposal.” You said dryly.

Yoongi smiled fondly, “I may claim the boy.”

You snickered at his response just as you felt a small, furry presence pressing against your leg.

“Oh, was someone lonely today?” You cooed, leaning down to lift the whining puppy in your arms.

“Not on the couch ____.” Yoongi admonished.

“Oh shut up.” You murmured, petting a hand over the sleepy puppy, “Just look at that face, there’s no way you can hate something so cute. You’d have to be a true abomination, Yoongi!”

Yoongi sneered as you raised the brown lump of fur to eye level with him. What exactly did you want him to do? Look into those stupidly huge brown eyes and tell you that maybe the disgustingly adorable heap of fur wasn’t so bad when it was peering up at him with it’s tail wagging and it’s tongue out like the idiot dog it was?

Because he won’t.

Only something so stupid could be so happy.

“Babe, I’ll be right back,” you said, handing him the puppy and ignoring his very disgusted look in the mean while, “I forgot my phone in the car.”

“And what do you want me to do with this thing?” He grunted after you, a glare marring his perfect face as he held the puppy the way he would a sack of potatoes.

“Try not to throw him into the garbage disposal.” You called over your shoulder, slipping on a pair of Yoongi’s slippers before running out the house.

Yoongi glared at the puppy who’s only response was to lick a stripe up his cheek and pant happily.

“You know you have a girls name right?” He spat.

A joyful bark.

“Don’t think you can win me over just because you’re cute. The last time I let that happen I ended up married with three swamp demons.” He muttered bitterly, “I won’t be fooled twice.”

Another yap.

Yoongi sighed before relenting under the dogs pleading eyes and reaching a hand forward to pet over the soft fur, begrudgingly. It really was stupid looking…

But in a good way. An endearing way.

“I guess you’re not that bad, Holly.” He muttered. “You make my wife happy.”

And it took everything in your power from letting out a victorious ‘I told you so!’ from your spot, instead opting to creep your way up the steps and give them the rest of the night to get acquainted with each other.

4

Moonlight

Pairings: Alpha!Werewolf!Sam x Omega!Werewolf!Reader

Word Count: 3500+

Summary: You’re a bonded pair with three children and all Sam can think about is having more.

My twist on a/b/o dynamics. There’s a little fluff in here too, I swear it.

Kink Prompts: Mating/Breeding & Were-animal sex

Warnings: Breastfeeding(non-sexual, baby related), knotting, dominance, claiming, fingering, oral, unprotected sex (obvi), biting, dirty talk, rough sex, some dom/sub overtones.

A/N: Written for @impalaimagining‘s Smut-entine’s Day Challenge


Sam comes home late, just after two in the morning, shutting the front door carefully, cautious of waking you or his children. He’s a sore, bleeding and a little drunk but it’s been a good night.

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Two is better than one

(A/N): I NEEDED THIS IN MY LIFE DON’T JUDGE ME 

Summary: Literally just a supersoldier cuddles session after sex 

Warnings: suggestive themes, swearing, cute nerdy supersoldiers 


Originally posted by aestheticimagines

  You’re entire body shook in post orgasm bliss and the thought of moving at all almost made you tremble more.

   "You okay doll?“ Two warm hands cup your cheeks, a soft Brooklyn accent penetrated the fog in your head. 

  You weakly open one eye, staring at Bucky before you. He has this soft little smile to his lips and unlike you he’s perfectly composed, the only hint that he’d just had one of the greatest threesomes of his life came in the form of small beads of sweat on his brow. 

  "Come on (Y/N),” Bucky’s thumb swipes along your clammy cheek, his smile faltering just a bit. He was always worried after the three of you had sex, after all, it wasn’t easy to take such two large men at once, so Bucky was justified in his fears.  "You gotta answer me sweetheart,“ 

  "Yeah,” Your voice is hoarse, absolutely wrecked. “I’m okay, just-” You close your eye, searching for the perfect word to describe how you felt. Good, just overwhelmed? Absolutely blissful but already sore? 

  “I know,” Bucky gently presses his lips to your sweaty forehead, drawing a small noise of contentment from you. “I know how you feel. How about you Stevie? You okay back there?” Steve’s slightly sweaty forehead pressed against your shoulder, his warm chest pressed to your back, his soft lips just barely grazing your skin as he breathes in deeper than usual. 

  “I’m good,” Steve smiles gently, his lips curling upwards in that smile both you and Bucky loved so much. 

  “Good. That’s good,” Bucky gently slides his hands from your face down to your arm, his fingers gently tracing along your flesh. “We should probably shower, change the sheets-" 

  "No,” You whine, a broken noise from the bottom of your throat. “Bucky I’m too tired,” Bucky hums contemplatively as he looks at you, giving you the impression that he was thinking about what you said but before you could realize he was faking it he had already whisked you up in your arms, laughing softly when you squealed in surprise.

   "Come on Stevie,“ Bucky offered his hand out to Steve, which he gladly took. Bucky then proceeded to guide both of you to the bathroom, the now much larger bathroom to met your every need; (Tony was sick of hearing the three of you whine constantly about how small your quarters were "Well you see, this tub wasn’t made for three people, much less to behemoths of men) A much larger tub and shower, bigger vanity, plenty of room for three people to share comfortably.

   Steve turns the water on, letting it warm up before he deems it worthy. Wordlessly Bucky slides into the shower with you still wrapped around him like a sloth.

   "You have to put your legs down (Y/N),” Bucky chuckles, his free hand now running up and down your spine soothingly. 

  “I don’t think I can move them…" 

  "Tire you that much, huh?” Steve chuckles as he joins too, his chest pressed against your back, his hands sliding down to your claves to gently unhook them from Bucky’s legs. “Sounds like you’re losing your touch," 

  "I am not,” You tilt your head backwards to glare at him. “You two are just fucking horny dogs who can go at it for hours,” Both men chuckle as they reach for something; Bucky the soap and Steve the hair products. Simultaneously both boys begin to pamper you, with Bucky covering your entire body in soap, his lips gently pressed to yours, and Steve rubbing the shampoo into your hair, his own lips pressed to your neck.

   The two keep at the whole pamper thing for quite some time, so long that the water began to run cold and even Bucky’s fingers were starting to shrivel up. 

  “I’ll go change the sheets, you two put some clothes on,” Bucky gives both of you a kiss before he hops out of the shower, grabbing a towel before exiting the steaming bathroom. 

  Steve smiles as you turn in his embrace, your legs wobbling as you face him. Wordlessly he picks you up, his muscles giving no strain at having to loft an actual human being. After successfully getting you out of the shower and onto the bathroom counter he grabs the remaining towels, wrapping one around his own waist and the other around your body. 

  “We’re so lucky,”  Steve whispers as he brushes some water sopped hair away from your face. “You’re so beautiful, so sweet, so perfect," 

  Steve was most definitely the sentimental one of the three of you, the one to constantly validate you and Bucky, to constantly go on rants about how lucky he was, It was always sweet.  

  "You’re pretty damn good yourself Steve,” You smile as you reach out, raking your nails through hair hair, delighting in the purrs of pleasure you were able to pull from his lips. “You’re so perfect for us, wouldn’t want anyone else, just you Stevie,” Steve smiles shyly, the praise sinking below his skin, making him blush like some schoolgirl. 

  “I thought I told you two nerds to get dressed,” Bucky pokes his head in the bathroom, smiling at the sight that greeted him, his two lovers touching each other tenderly, smiling at each other sweetly.

   "Sorry Buck,“ Steve chuckles as he grabs the clothes Bucky had laid out. "We’ll get right to that,”

   "Good. bed’s almost ready anyways,“ And with that Bucky leaves you two again, his footstep retreating back into your bedroom.

  Steve smiles as he let’s your towel fall to the floor, leaving your body bare before him, only now the sight of you naked wasn’t sexual, it was something else entirely. Even when Steve began to slide your underwear up your legs, his lips glued to your still trembling thighs as he assisted you in dressing, it wasn’t sexua, now it was more affectionate, more intimate. 

  Steve slides a large shirt over your small body, one of his that you and Bucky often borrowed. It smelled like Steve and Bucky, like safety and home, like detergent and Bucky’s shampoo, it smelled like Steve’s cologne and now it smelled like the lavender soap the boys had coated your body with. 

  You hum softly as Steve kisses your lips gently, his hands sliding down your waist as he let’s the shirt fall around your body, the material bunching around his wrists. He tasted like you and Bucky with just a hint of some kind of fruit. 

  "Get your clothes on you nerd,” You mumble against his lips, smiling when he more than reluctantly pulled back. 

  The man’s “clothes” consisted of a pair of boxers, as did Bucky’s but you didn’t mind in the slightest. The constant skin contact, the all around legs wrapped around yours, one chest pressed to yours, another pressed to your back, was simply heavenly. 

  “You need to drink something,” Steve adds as he eyes you, all the while worming the skintight boxers up his legs. “Your voice sounds wrecked,”

   "I feel wrecked,“ You chuckle gently just as your legs give another tremble; what perfect timing. "But in the best kind of way,” You add, noting the concern that immediately overtook Steve’s features at your words.

  “We could have been softer…" 

  "No Stevie,” You cup his cheeks, letting your thumbs caress his stubbled skin. “It was perfect, I promise you,” Steve hums as he leans into your touch, his lips pressing a gentle kiss to your wrist. The small touch of affection had your heart skipping a beat, your lips curling upwards in a smile, your stomach blooming with a warm pleasant feeling.

  “As much as I love to look at you two,” Bucky interjects the sweet moment yet again, smiling at the two of you so lovingly it almost hurt. “The bed’s ready and I’m fucking beat,” Steve nods and he wordlessly picks you up, his arms comforting around you. One arm wraps around you securely, keeping you locked against his chest, while the other reached for Bucky’s hand, tugging him into the mass of warm bodies. 

  You hum sleepily, softly, as you nuzzle against Steve’s neck, breathing his scent in deeply. Warmth, safety, protection, love. 

  “I’m gonna set you down doll, so you’ve got let me go,” You nod as you slip your arms away from Steve’s neck, letting him gently place you down onto the fresh, clean sheets. 

   You hum once again as you nuzzle into the pillows, awaiting your two best boys to join you in bed. You didn’t have to wait long before Bucky was burrowing into you from the front and Steve nuzzling in from the back; Their warmth mingled with yours and suddenly everything felt okay. You felt like a three piece puzzle and now that all of you were interlocked so intimately the puzzle was complete.

   "You sure you’re okay (Y/N)?“ Bucky asks softly, his fingers dancing up your arm, stopping to tuck a strand of slowly drying hair behind your ear.  

  "I’m sure,” You nod, beaming up at him the best you can. 

  “Good.” Bucky states once again, his smile nearly infectious as he looked at you. “Now get some sleep Любовь моя, you need it,” You hum sleepily, appreciatively as Bucky kisses your forehead, his lips lingering for quite some time before he pulled back. “You too Stevie,” Bucky reaches over you, ruffling Steve’s hair affectionately. 

  “I was half asleep when you so rudely woke me up,” Steve cracks an eye open to glare at Bucky, his look playful but still less than thrilled. “Looks like I wore you both out,” Bucky smirks teasingly even if his eyes were dropping with sleep themselves. “Maybe you two are losing your touch,”

  “I am not,” Steve states indignantly, a sort of frown to his features. 

   "Hmm,we’ll just have to test that tomorrow morning then,“ Even though the three of you were so completely and utterly worn out the thought of yet another pleasure filled morning had your core aching to be filled and it may have been your imagination but you could have sworn Steve’s hip gave a little jerk against yours. 

  "But for now,” Bucky smiles softly, all mischievousness melting away immediately. “You two need sleep,”

   "So do you,“ You yawn, your eyes slipping closed and staying closed as you do.

   "I will,” Bucky whispers, his metal hand tracing circles into your shoulder, slowly soothing you into a deep sleep. “I will doll,” But you were far too gone to respond, your exhaustion taking over.

   "Love you Buck,“ You whisper, the only words you could manage at the time. "You too Stevie, love you two so much,” Both boys smile, sharing a sweet look with each other before allowing their own eyes to close, letting their own fatigue take over.

  “Love you (Y/N)," 

DUFF (CHAPTER 5)

Originally posted by theking-or-thekid

Chapter 5

╳ Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

╳ Genre: fluff, smut, angst

╳ Summary: Being the Duff has really changed you.”“Excuse me, the Duff?” I asked, my voice rising a little at the end.“You know, the Designated. Ugly. Fat. Friend.”


No missed calls. No missed texts. Nothing.

It’s been 5 days since Jungkook and I’s little fling.  Most of my thoughts have been swarming around him. Disgusting, right? How am I supposed to act when I see him next? Am I supposed to act like it didn’t happen? Still treat him like the dick he is? But because I kind of liked it, should I act grateful? Okay, fuck that. The last option was too far. And I absolutely did not like it.

Keep reading

Confession

2,500 Followers Oneshot

Summary: Jensen flies home earlier than planned and what he finds in his house is a pleasant surprise.

Prompt: “Um…did you move into my house?“

Pairing: Jensen x Reader

Requested by: @tas898


Jensen lets out a huge sigh of relief pulling into his four car garage. He throws his dark gray SUV into park and hauls ass into his country styled house, suitcases in tow. He’s finally made it home to Austin after a grueling few weeks of shooting nonstop. 

Sighing dramatically, Jensen decides it’s time to stuff his face with junk food and catch up on Game of Thrones. Humming to himself, he makes way down the hall until loud noises catch his attention. Is that a Seinfeld rerun playing?

For a split second, the thought that someone broke in crosses Jensen’s tired mind. His dumb ass quickly remembers that the house has an extensive alarm system so the noise must be from you.

You being his long time best friend that randomly checks on the house when he’s gone. Other than his parents and Jared, you’re the only one he trusts to do that. You’re one of the few he trusts in general actually.

Keep reading

i know we all ignore nora’s extra content anyway (*cough* andreil wedding *cough*) but i have headcanons about this fashion designer allison thing

okay so

  • allison goes pro. after fighting tooth and nail for the right to play exy there’s no way she’s giving it up after college. also no one expects her to actually do it or succeed so it’s a giant fuck you to all the haters
    • she’s the first fox to ever play professionally and when she gets signed she asks wymack if she’s made him proud. he tells her he was always proud.
  • once she’s on her new team (one whose colors are not that god awful orange this time) she notices some things about the uniforms that could use…improvement

Keep reading

BTS Single Parent AU

kookies-and-myrok asked: Hello, sweets! I love your writing and I’m not just saying that Lol i always get excited when you post smt, anyways do you write parent au’s? If you do can I get a BTS reaction about what they would be like as a single parent? If not then its okay! Keep up the great work 💜

This doesn’t necessarily work as a reaction, but I can do a little like… bullet drabble or whatever on this. Either way, very doable. - Admin Dayna


Seokjin

There’s like… this anime called Amaama to Inazuma (a.k.a. Sweetness and Lightning) which is basically about a single father who raises his daughter to the best of his abilities but he can’t cook as well as his wife (who passed away). I see Single Parent!Jin being like that… except in Jin’s case he can actually throw down in a kitchen

  • Lots of love and affection
  • Smothers his baby girl with kisses before dropping her off to daycare and after picking her up
  • The daycare moms thirst after him bOI
  • His cookies sold out the fastest at the school bakery
  • Partially because Daycare Moms are trying to give him the succ
  • Mainly because his cookies are bomb asf
  • He got hoes
  • Reads/sings his daughter to sleep at night religiously
  • Chocolate covered Strawberries while they watch cartoons together
  • Shed a single tear in the beginning of Finding Nemo evRYTIM
  • Was literally floating on air for like a month because his daughter told him he was the “handsomest appa”
  • Tries really hard to scold his baby girl
  • Can’t look her in the face when he does it because she’s too damn cute
  • Puppy Dog Eyes work every once in a while tbh
  • Will cAUSE A FUCKING SCENE IF HE EVER HEARD SOMEONE WAS BULLYING HIS CHILD
  • Dad jokes, fucking duh.

Originally posted by meganhyunhee

Yoongi

Picture this: Yoongi is chilling, right? Lounging on the sofa, watching some psychological mystery film or whatever emo shit he watches. His face is pretty indifferent. He’s unbothered asf. His right arm is covered in scribbles and squiggles. His 7 year old son is currently surrounded by markers, casually doodling on his dad’s arm.

  • Lets his son choose whatever toys he wants
  • If his baby boy wants a nerf gun, he’ll get a nerf gun.
  • If his baby boy wants a fucking bubblegum pink barbie jeep atv, he’s getting a fucking bubblegum pink barbie jeep atv.
  • Also lets his kid wear whatever he wants
  • Supports the creative and imaginative endeavors of his child
  • Does not support coloRING ON THE WALL YOU LIL DEMON BABY
  • Sometimes stares at his child and thinks “whose mans is this?”
  • Also looks at his child and thinks “that’s the love of my life”.
  • One time considered redecorating his closet just so that he can hang a bunch of mirrors on the wall so that whenever his child does something stupid, he can sit him in that closet and close the door so that he can look at his reflection and reevaluate his 7 years long life.
  • All in all he’s a super supportive daddio.
  • He’s not like the other dads.
  • He’s a Cool Dad™

Originally posted by exoticmaknae

Keep reading

Baby Talks

A/N: this has lots of fluff ;)

Requested: @two-ghosts11

Hope you guys enjoy this! x

1680 words.


Having a baby was undoubtedly stressful, but there was no doubt that Harry and Y/N couldn’t be happier about it. It has been six months since they’ve had Theo, who was as healthy, happy and strong as he could be.

There were times earlier in their relationship that Harry often found himself wondering if one could feel happier and warmer than he felt; wondering if that really was the happiest someone could’ve been — with the love of his life by his side, with amazing and beautiful memories being made each day and with love and joy being the only things that surrounded them in wherever environment they found themselves in —; there was really no doubt to it. He was so certain that there was no way someone could feel happier than that. Until Theo came along, of course.

Since the first time Harry saw their little man, he couldn’t stop looking at him and making silent observations about him; how tiny his hands and feet were, how little hair he had on his head, how flushed were his cheek and the big eyes he had. Harry swore on his life he had never seen anything or anyone as cute. He also never found himself as excited as he was now. He looked forward to see his first steps, to hear his first words, to see him grow up and accompany him through every step of the way.

However, Harry’s job was not one to be described as easy, which could get in their way sometimes. After all, he had just released his solo album and was about to tour the entire world with a baby and a loving wife at home. And it wouldn’t be easy.

With that being said, he never took them for granted, always looking forward every moment spent with them and cherishing every second of it, for they unfortunately don’t last forever. Soon, Harry would have to leave for a couple of weeks for his first leg of the tour and all he wanted to do was spend as much time with his family as possible.

It was winter and it was colder than usual. Theo was cutely wrapped around a blanket with a frog beanie neatly put upon his head and as warm as possible. Y/N had gone out to work today. It was winter break, meaning that she usually stayed in. However, her boss really needed her at the office so she had to go, leaving both Harry and the baby alone with each other. Although Harry would much rather prefer it if she was there with them, he was okay with being with little Theo by himself. After all, it was just one day. Besides, he’d get to spend the whole day with his baby, and who knows? They could bond even more during these next few hours.

Y/N had left with a loving kiss on Harry’s lips and with a smile on her face, telling him she’d be back before he knows it.

Soon after she left, Harry went straight up to Theo’s room to check how he was doing in his little crib. The baby had just been fed and his diapers were just changed so he was okay for now.

As he entered the room, Theo’s eyes immediately lit up and Harry approached him with a huge smile plastered on his face.

“‘Lo, m’little man. How are you today?”, he asked, pinching Theo’s nose, to which he only let out a loud giggle. In response, Harry’s smile increased (if that was even possible at this point).

The baby started to wiggle around his crib and let out a small burb. Harry couldn’t help but laugh at how small and innocent it sounded.

“Oi! You okay there, buddy?”, he rhetorically asked as he picked him up. “I see you like frogs, huh?” he said, mentioning to the beanie Theo had on his head.

“M’gonna take you downstairs with me, yeah? So we can watch some cartoons and cuddle fo’ a bit.”

Harry carefully walked with Theo wrapped around his arms, settling both of them on the couch. However, Harry thought he could do something a little bit more fun and cozy for his baby, and, being the dork and loving man he is, he made a little fortress of pillows on the couch and placed himself and Theo inside of it, careful not to destroy their little shelter.

After they both of them comfortably lying inside of it, Harry turned on the TV and put on the first kids-program he saw on the screen.

“Do you like it, baby?”, he asked, running his hands over his sides, making him giggle loudly. Harry knew that Theo couldn’t understand a word he said, but he still wanted to talk to him, even if that meant he’d have a one-sided conversation. “The big red one is a dog. A huge dog actually, don’t you think? Too big to be true”, he looked at the baby, who was starring intently at his father, liking the way his voice sounded. This only made Harry continue with his talking.

“We can get a dog if you’d like in the future, little man. What do you think, huh?”, Harry complemented nudging his sides. “Just don’t expect it to be as big and as red, alright?”, he said, letting out a small laugh.

He kept on rambling and describing the characters and events happening on screen until Theo suddenly reached his hands out and grabbed Harry’s nose, to which he jokingly hissed.

“Wha’? You like daddy’s nose, huh? You want one just like mine?”, Harry asked, rubbing his nose with little Theo’s. “Don’t worry, pal. You’ll have a cool nose too. Nicer even, yeh know? ‘Cos yours will have bits of your mommy’s nose too. A mixture of both. You know how beautiful she is, yeah?”. By now the baby had just gotten back to starring at his father, making Harry cuddle further into his little body, to which the small one only smiled and sighed in comfort.

“She gave you those eyes,” Harry continued, “they’re as big and as bright as hers. There’s just as much love in them. Have yeh noticed? Mommy loves you very much.”, said as he kissed his small head. “She always makes sure yeh’re warm and happy. She’s a great mommy, isn’t she?”. At the mention of Y/N, Harry only smiles bigger at the thought of how caring and kind she was, specially towards their family.

Theo continued to stare intently at Harry, listening and trying to make sense of the sounds of his daddy’s words.

Moments like these are the ones Harry cherishes the most. He’s always enjoyed simple. He absolutely adored finding contentment and satisfaction in small moments like the one he’s living right now at this moment. Harry believed that life was mostly made of simple and small events like these rather than big and unusual occasions that would probably only happen once or twice in the course of his life. Of course he also enjoyed those moments too, but he wouldn’t switch or change the small ones for anything in the world. He never took them for granted and always made sure he enjoyed them at their fullest. After all, how could he not? He’s the happiest a human being could ever be, he believed. He had the love of his life by his side, a loving, beautiful boy and he loved his job.

As soon as Theo let out a yawn, Harry was immediately brought bad from his trance of thought and lightly placed kissed on the little one’s forehead. “I’m tired too, buddy. Let’s take a nap, yeah? That way we’ll be well rested for when mommy comes home.”, closing his eyes he let out a small “i love you”, which came out more as a murmur, yet he still meant every word and letter in his phrase.

Soon, both of them started to drift off to sleep and entered a tranquil and resting slumber; both warm and happy with each other’s company.

-

After what felt like minutes, or hours — he couldn’t tell —, Harry woke up to a bright light flashing upon his face. Theo followed soon after him, whining a bit. As soon as his eyes adjusted to the sudden light, he saw his beautiful Y/N standing in front of them, with a huge smile on her face and a polaroid camera on one of her hands and the picture being slowly revealed on the other.

“Hi, baby”, she said, leaning in for a kiss. Harry kissed her back immediately, following with a tight hug.

“Missed you today, love.” He remarked, to which she only replied with words of reciprocity. “What were you doing just now?”, he teased as he nodded to the camera on her hands, knowing really well what she was just doing. After all, it was as clear as day.

“Nothing. Just taking a picture of my two angels cuddling under this well built-up fortress,” she laughed. “This really is such a sight to see, H. Couldn’t have this moment finish without taking a picture first.”

“Glad you took it, love. Theo and I had a very nice day today, didn’t we?”, Harry said, kindly nudging his son’s side. “We slept for the most part of it, I guess, but we talked- I mean, I talked,” he chuckled with a smile, the memories of their simple yet really nice day flashing through his mind, “It was really cute. He’s adorable.”, Harry finished. “What about you, love? How was your day?”, he pulled Y/N into the fortress with them, which she gladly complied to.

“My day was okay. Just work stuff. Definitely not as fun as yours”, she let out a laugh and smiled lovingly at Harry, who was looking at her with all the attention in the world. “Kind of tired right now,” she sighed. Harry kissed her temples and hugged her tighter to his body.

“Let’s just sleep it off, then. Shall we?”.

thank you for reading x

Masterlist

I dont even know your name

Pairing: Tom holland x reader

Summary: Inspired by the song I don’t even know your name by Shawn Mendes (x). In which Tom meets a cute fan and falls for her, but she is gone before he even realises it.

word count: 1609

Masterlist

Tom was tired. All he wanted was to go to starbucks, get some tea and then get back to his place and rest a little before work, however things were not going as planned. He had arrived next to Harrison, however after a couple minutes there, he realised people were staring.

The Spiderman movie wasn’t out until next week, however many people seemed to recognize him as they approached him for photos. It was always nice meeting fans, but it had gotten crazy.

According to Harrison someone had posted a photo with him on twitter and suddenly a huge crowd was outside the cafe, hoping to get a photo with Tom.

He decided it was probably better to just get over with the drama and get outside, after all, he was nothing without his fans. He stepped out of Starbucks, greeting everyone as they approached him, screaming for his attention. He got a couple photos done before he tried to head towards his car, bumping accidentally into someone.

“Oh I’m sorry I wasn’t looking”

“Don’t worry abo- Oh my god! You’re Spiderman! I mean- Peter- wait no- Tom holland!”

The girl in front of him had turned completely red and stumbled upon her own words, trying to make a complete sentence without making a fool of herself, obviously failing. She was a couple inches shorter/taller than him and had this big expressive eyes, that were a thousand times bigger than usual as Y/n could not believe who was in front of her.

She had just gone for a coffee and to walk out her dog, but as she got closer she wondered why there was a big fuss. Now she knew why.

“The one and only”

“And you’re Harrison!”

“Ohh! You recognized him!”

“Who wouldn’t? He follows you everywhere”

Both guys laughed as Harrison noticed her little dog

“Your dog is really cute! Tom loves dogs”

“Do you?”

“I mean- yes, my dog Tessa is like my best friend”

“Hey!”

Harrison now was acting offended by the comment, he was supposed to be the best friend. As he got his offended act going on he realised Tom was acting very strange, maybe a little nervous. Meanwhile Y/n girl had gotten a lot more relaxed, and was starting to act as her normal self.

Tom felt really comfortable with this girl, however she was so beautiful he felt his heart speed up and his cheeks warm up every time she looked at him. Harrison decided to step in a little and help Tom out, seeing as he was into the girl.

“Sooo, who’s your favorite superhero?”

“Obviously Captain America”

“I knew it- Wait what? Why him?”

Both boys had expected her to say Spidernam, however Tom was the most surprised to hear her answer. He had hoped she would be into him.

“Why not me?”

“Your movie isn’t even out yet! How am I supposed to know if I like it? Besides, Chris Evans? Yes please”

Both Harrison and the girl laughed at the expression on Tom’s face.

“She’s got a point mate- You’ve got nothing on Chris Evans”

The three of them laughed now. The girl was very nervous to ask for a photo, maybe he was in a rush? but she still didn’t wanted to lose her chance. She decided to just ask for it.

“I know you’re probably in a hurry, but could we take a picture?”

“Sure, give Harrison your phone, he’ll take it”

She handed Harrison her phone as she posed beside Tom. She had just expected a friendly photo, maybe a little shoulder touching, however Tom had hold onto her waist and brought her closer to him, giving her a side hug and another from behind for different photos.

“There you go, so, who’s your favorite superhero now?

“Still Captain America” The girl continued talking, seeing as Tom was about to protest again. “But, you come in a close second, maybe after the movie my ratings will change”

“I like the sound of that”

Harrison was getting a little impatient by Tom’s attitude. Why didn’t he just asked for his number? They were both into each other, God, he was a celebrity! He could have any girl he wanted! He decided to help, once again, to try to maybe get heer social media.

“How about I take a photo with Tom’s phone? He could post it and maybe tag you in-”

Harrison was interrupted as a group of giggly girls approached them, surrounding Tom and asking for photos, leaving Y/n outside the circle they made around the boys.

“It was nice meeting you!”

Y/n tried to get her voice above all the noise, however it was pointless. She didn’t want to feel down, however she couldn’t help it. What was she expecting? for them to become friends? He was just being polite. She decided to just head back home and maybe stare at her photos for a while.

Tom and Harrison were surrounded by a group of people trying to get their attention, however Tom wanted to find the girl desperately.

“Where is she?”

“I don’t know! I can’t see her!”

The crowd demanded their attention once more, getting them out of their thoughts. They spend the next 40 minutes taking pictures and talking to fans, until they finally made it to Tom´s car and drove away.

“Man I can’t believe I lost her- Did she just left?”

“I didn’t saw”

“How am I supposed to find her now? Did you see her? She was the perfect girl for me Harrison!”

The other boy rolled his eyes as he listened to his friend comments. Sure, she was really pretty, but why was Tom so into her? He’d never seen him act that way for anyone.

“I’m serious Harrison! She was the perfect girl! Not only is she insanely beautiful, but she is like, sarcastic, and funny and God!She likes dogs! We would be perfect together!”

“If you liked her so much why don’t you just tweet out her name? and like today’s scene? maybe she would see it and message you”

It suddenly hit Tom. He didn’t knew who she was. He had been so blown away by her that he didn’t even thought of asking for her number, let alone her name. He just felt like they new each other from long ago, asking for her name didn’t even cross his mind.

“I don’t even know her name”

“You’re like, the most stupid person I know!”

“Now I won’t ever find her”

The day kept going on as normal as always. He had some shooting left for a new movie. They were supposed to shot a couple blocks from Starbucks, so they headed there.

Tom did some of his scenes, however he kept redoing them. He knew he wasn’t bringing his A game today, but he kept getting distracted. He felt very confused; he knew it was stupid, but he couldn’t stop thinking about that girl.

She had just felt so refreshing. She didn’t try to impress him, or flatter him, she had just been herself. She looked a little nervous and flushed, however it just made her more beautiful to his eyes. She had worn a cute dress and her hair down, still he kept going back to the way her smile made his heart jump, especially as he had hold her in his arms. A perfect fit.

He tried to push away those thoughts as he prepared or another scene. He got outside his trailer and into the street they were shooting when he saw her.

She was giving him her back, and was heading in an opposite direction, however she was wearing the same sundress as earlier. He couldn’t keep his eyes apart from her, not even when the director called for his attention.

He had lost his chance once, he would not do it again. He got on his feet and started running towards her, trying his hardest to get to her. He speed up, losing his breath, but he was just so close.

“Wait!”

Tom screamed trying to get the girl’s attention, succeeding. She looked at him, taken back by the sound, however it was not who Tom expected.

She was not who he was looking for, it wasn’t the girl he had  been daydreaming since the morning.

“Sorry-I just- I thought you were someone else.”

Tom got back to filming and went straight to his home afterwards. He needed to be alone.

He had been so hopeful that it was her, however he was defeated. He didn’t want to think about her any longer, but every girl he looked at he could just see her bright smile and big eyes. He wanted, he needed to hold her once again, and maybe tell her how good it had felt.

But he couldn’t. He didn’t knew who she was, or where to find her, and even if he did, she’d probably think he was a creeper! He was starting to sound like one. But he didn’t care. Not as long as he didn’t had her.

She had just come and punched a hole right through his heart. If he didn’t believe in love at first sight before, he did now.

Probably what hurts the most was, that she wouldn’t even know how he felt, how much she had affected him. She would never know, and all because he didn’t knew her name.

Permanent tag list: @spideyydarling , @isucaf , @geekyyears9 , @slut-for-fandoms , @letsgoflyawaybirdie , @illegallyholland , @littlenerdgirl16 , @trinityjadec , @cabinetxbattles

If you want to be added or removed from my permanent tag list let me know!

anonymous asked:

Krypto as a handreared newborn pup headcanons? Fitting in Lena and Kara's hands, his tiny eyes and ears shut until 3 wks and he opens wide baby blues like Kara's, his fur getting thicker and softer as days go by, learning to walk and fly and roll, eventually growing bigger and super strong. Like, I'd bet my life Lena would have a scrapbook or three's worth of pics from a new born that could fit in her hand to a massive doggo almost as big as her couch!

He’s small.

That’s the first thing that runs through her mind when she sees the small- oh, he’s so small- bundle in Alex’s arms.

He’s so tiny. Kara makes sure to keep her hands open wide, steps slow as she follows Alex to the medical room. She gives her sister a wide berth as she walks around the room.

“We’re just gonna run a few tests. Okay?” Kara stares down at the small, small dog on the too big table. “Kara,” hands settle on her shoulders, and oh, Alex’s eyes are soft and concerned, “okay?”

“Yep. Good, great I mean. Thank you.”

Alex studies her for a second before her hands fall away with a last squeeze. “Is he from Krypton?”

“Yes,” Kara answers immediately. The heat of the pod still burning away at her fingertips, her family’s crest etched into its side. She clears her throat, “He is.”

“It doesn’t look like he has any powers right now.”

Kara sighs, chin skimming over her chest when she bows her head. That’s what she was, is afraid of. She could tell immediately from the way he had stumbled around, the earth not caving under fumbling paws.

(Her chest ached.

Her fingers itched with the need to hold him, to have this last part of Krypton in her palms, but she couldn’t. Things tear and snap and break in her hands.

She couldn’t bear to see that happen again to another piece of Krypton.)

“What’s wrong?” Alex scratches under his chin, bright blue eyes blinking slowly up at them. “Do you recognize him?”

“No, no.” Kara tilts her head and squints her eyes, trying to push past the fuzzy memories. “Well, I don’t- I know Jor-El was trying-” Kara shakes her head. “He wanted to send something that could help me protect Kal-El, but he’s, he’s a puppy.”

“Sometimes things don’t go according to plan though.”

(Kara thinks of hurried footsteps and hands urging her out of her bed. Hushed whispers of you must leave. Of silence and darkness and nothingness for twenty four years.

She thinks of herself, looks at the puppy- too young, too late- and agrees.)

Alex smiles. “We always wanted a dog.” A sob burns at her lungs, wiggles through her chest and up her throat, because she’s scared and worried but Alex said we and she’s here. Their shoulders brush as Alex shifts closer. “Come here.”

“He’s so small Alex.”

“I know, I know. Hands on mine, remember?” Kara forces out a strained breath, easing her hand over Alex’s as she pets him, adjusts the pressure she applies until Alex nods and moves away.

Kara runs a finger over his head, nails scratching lightly behind a flopped ear. “He’s so cute,” she breathes.

He looks so out of place amidst the cold and sharp lines of the DEO. She knows what it’s like to be poked and prodded when it doesn’t feel like the right place, the right time.

She gently scoops him up. “Gosh, he’s light too.” His nose is featherlight against the crook of her elbow, snuffing against her arm. “That tickles little guy,” she coos, smoothing a thumb down his head.

There’s a knock against the glass, J'onn stepping in with a curious look. “Report.”

“Well, he’s definitely from Krypton. No powers as of yet.”

J'onn crosses his arms, but oh, there’s a softness to his movements before he relents and lays a careful hand on his head. “Do we have any idea how long it could be until they show up?”

“None.” Alex shrugs. “Right now he’s just a regular puppy.”

“And his name?”

They both turn to her. It’s on the tip of her tongue, a murmur in the halls between her father and Jor-El. Eyes bluer than her mother’s hologram, bluer than the ice in the Fortress of Solitude stare at her.

“Krypto.”

Star vs. The Forces of Evil Episodes In One Sentence

Star Comes to Earth: Princess Cinnamon Roll that Could Kill you comes to earth and meets Misunderstood safe kid.

Party With a Pony: Spoopy Wardens hunt for the glitter pony while Star gets ice for Marco’s sweaty back.

Matchmaker: In which we learn it was probably a bad idea to give Star the wand in the first place.

School Spirit: Star misunderstands football and Marco tries to get Ferguson to blow his whistle not in that way.

Monster Arm: “Not my bowels! I love my bowels!”

The Other Exchange Student: Star is jealous of the meatball man from Bakersfieldville.

Cheer Up Star: “It’s supposed to be ironic!”

Quest Buy: Very accurate depiction of what it is like to work in retail.

Diaz Family Vacation: Both Marco and Star see new sides of their dads but that’s not necessarily a good thing

Brittney’s Party: Star and Marco party with someone who hates them while Ludo hijacks a bus

Mewberty: Star gets horny and snares boys in her web but not in that way

Pixtopia: Marco messed up and Alfonso marries Ferguson’s rebound

Lobster Claws: “… You can’t eat children.” “Really? Not even the annoying ones?”

Sleep Spell: “Camera Phooone!”

Blood Moon Ball: We’re suppose to ship them now, right?

Fortune Cookies: Love is never the answer kids

Freeze Day: Father Time offers Star and Marco some mud before riding away on his wheel-mobile pulled by giant time-hamsters I am not making this up.

Royal Pain: King Santa Claus destroy mini-golf

St. Olga’s Reform School for Wayward Princesses: Princess Prison sure is a nightma–OH MY GOD ARE THOSE CLUBS?!

Mewnipendence Day: No wonder monsters hate Mewmans so much.

The Banagic Wand: Star still doesn’t get Earth and like all of us, Marco is always hungry.

Interdemensional Field Trip: Miss Skullnick fears the “Big Change” while Marco sends Jackie cat memes

Marco Grows a Beard: Ludo is out, Toffee is in, and Marco will probbaly be terrified of beards forever

Storm the Castle: “SURPRISE!”

My New Wand!: DIP DOOOWN

Ludo in the Wild: Wait, since when did Ludo become badass?

Mr. Candle Cares: “Star and I have recently become smooch buddies… On the lips.”

Red Belt: Marco searches for a meaning in life and Star searches for hammer.

Star on Wheels: *epic remix of Marco saying Star is in trouble*

Fetch: Marco can’t open juice and Star runs away from her problems and sending thank you cards

Star vs. Echo Creek: Star gets high and destroys a police car

Wand to Wand: Both Ludo and Star are terrible at magic also major ship tease

Starstruck: Star and her idol Sailor Super Saiyan destroy a park and Marco is 100002% done with this shit

Camping Trip: King Butterfly has a mid-life crisis and tries to control an eagle

Starsitting: They’re gonna be great parents some day.

On the Job: Buff Dad is best dad and buff babies are adorable

Goblin Dogs: “You might think this line is long, but listen to my goblin song!~”

By the Book: Ludo and Star still suck at magic and Glossaryck is a bigger troll than Alex Hirsch

Game of Flags: Queen has no patience and legs.

Girls’ Day Out: Janna is back and is still awesome btw

Sleepover: “TRUTH! STAR HAS A CRUSH ON MA–” *cube gets crushed*

Gift of the Card: R.I.P.  Rasticore Chaosus Disastorvayne… He couldn’ get his fucking chainsaw to work

Friendenemies: Star becomes one with Christmas tree while Tom and Marco go on a date and sing a romantic pop ballad.

Is Mystery: Meatfork is apparently a family name and Ludo is really starting to freak me out tbh

Hungry Larry: “He’s still hungry…”

Spider with a Top Hat: He tries and he is awesome and that’s all that matters

Into the Wand: SPAAAAADESS!!!

Pizza Thing: Marco is OCD about mushroom and Pony Head buys skinny jeans

Page Turner: Glossaryck is awesome and how did Moon miss Lizard-Loki in the orb?!

Naysaya: Tomco friendship confirmed and Marco finally asks out Jackie while Star the supportive noodle armed friend cheers on

Bon Bon the Birthday Clown: Starco fans cry, Jarco fans rejoice, and Ludo now has the book god dammit Nefcy

Raid the Cave: Glossaryck is the true neutral asshole.

Trickstar: Weird Al is a treasure and I’ll mes up anyone who makes Marco cry!

Baby: *glances around nervously* So… Star is similar to Eclipsa, huh? *Nervous laughter* Great…

Running With Scissors: Marco gets a new edition to his shipping harem and she is so cute!!!!!!

Mathmagic: Don’t worry Star, I can’t math either.

The Bounce Lounge: Marco is definitely the mom friend.

Crystal Clear: The Chancellor guy is amazing and Rhombulus just needs a hug and wAS THAT ECLIPSA IN THE BACKGROUND?

The Hard Way: “SURPRISE!” 2.0

Collateral Damage: Marco how do you not know what a possum is?

Just Friends: I’m fine! *blows up sign to prove just how fine I am*

Face the Music: Moon=Badass, Star=Why?, River=Loving Husband, Marco=Shocked, and we got to meet Ludo’s family so pretty cool episode overall.

Star Crushed: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH–remember when we though Bon Bon the Birthday Clown was the end of the world?–AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH

anonymous asked:

Mermaid au Shownu please?? I love how well you write Monsta X, especially Shownu and Wonho! (I also wanted to request Wonho but I didn't want to overwhelm you bc I know you said you worry abt the way you write him but I really think you do him the most justice as a writer ❤️❤️❤️ feel free to do either or both if the inspiration strikes! Love you and your writing so much!!) 😊

i actually have an idea for shownu,,,it’s a little bit more angsty than what i usually write, but i hope u like it!! ill write wonho soon too~~
find mermaid!minyhuk (here) & mermaid!kihyun (here

  • you’ve been working as a lab assistant to a group of marine biologists for almost a month when you overhear that finally,,,,,,the scientists have caught a mermaid
  • and at first you don’t believe,,,,,,,,a mermaid??? do those even exist??? but everyone in the lab is in an uproar about it that you assume,,,,it has to be true
  • and a couple of days later the big tank in one of the labs is apparently home to the newest experiment and when you go over the room is packed with scientists, interns, assistants, divers,,,,,,
  • and you can barely see the mermaid but you catch a glimpse of the huge tail as he swims by and everyone is chatting about how BIG he is,,,how he must have swam too close to the shore or something
  • but since you can’t see anything you just decide to leave it at that,,,,,but something feels weird,,,,,,
  • thankfully the scientists trust you enough to close up every now and then so after most of them have gone home you sneak carefully into lab room 3 where the tank is clear ocean water,,,,, and you see him,,,,,,
  •  and he’s nothing like what you read about in fantasy books,,,,no scary gills or yellow eyes,,,,,,,he’s,,,,,beautiful??
  • and the closer you get the more you see ,,,, the toned upper body,,,,which makes sense he swims to stay alive,,,,but also the pretty emerald color scales on his tail,,,that shimmer whenever the lights in the lab reflect into the water
  • and even in the water it’s obvious that his skin is slightly golden,,,,,and in his ears u can see earrings,,,,pearls,,,, and you’re so caught up that you don’t even notice that you’ve come so close to the glass
  • and when you put ur hand on it he finally seems to notice you,,,,whipping around in the water and swimming toward you
  • so fast that you even jump back a bit,,,,but his face oh god,,,up close ,,,,, you swear no man you’ve ever seen has looked like,,,,,,That
  • but even though he’s so big,,,his broad shoulder and handsome face,,,there’s fear in his eyes and you can’t really read lips all that well but he’s saying something 
  • cautiously you get closer to the glass and you’re like ??? pointing to your ears and trying to motion that you can’t hear
  • so he slows down and you can make out the words : where am i
  • and you look around,,,hurriedly finding a notepad and scribbling down ‘laboratory’ showing it to the boy and the fear in is eyes gets even deeper
  • so you change the subject and write ‘what’s your name?’ turning to show it to him and ,,,,, he hesitates,,,, but slowly says it and you focus on his lips 
  • “shownu?”
  • and you write down ur own name and show it to him,,,,,but u can see he still isn’t settled so u add ‘they’re not going to hurt you here. they just want to look at you because we’ve never seen mermaids before’
  • and shownu suddenly puts his hand against the glass and you turn around because you hear footsteps and you duck under a nearby desk
  • when two scientists walk in,,,chatting about how they forgot their IDs but also,,,,,about some experiments they’d like to perform on the ‘mermaid’,,,,,take samples from his gills,,,,,,maybe do some other procedures
  • and when they’re gone,,,,,you can see that shownu has retreated to the back of the tank,,,,,and u feel,,,,,horrible
  • because as much as you’d thought there was something good about discovering mermaids,,,,,was there really if the scientist forgot that even with his body?? shownu,,,,is still a person,,,,,
  • and you don’t know why but you can’t think of anything else but that you have to get shownu out of there
  • and you get up to leave but hear a knocking on the tank,,,turning around to see him there,,,,,,so powerful and strong but also,,,,trapped
  • and you motion that you have to go but you smile and somehow,,,,shownu understands what you mean
  • and for the next week you see shownu,,,,being ogled by the scientists,,,,the poor boy has an identification tag clipped to his fin and on the daily you see blood samples, scales, and more being taken from him
  • and you realize that there are stairs the scientists use to get to the top of the tank and finally,,,when its ur turn to lock up again u visit shownu except you motion for him to swim to the top
  • and as you go up the stairs,,,,the surface of the water in the tank comes into view and suddenly shownu swims toward it,, head poking out as he throws his wet hair out of his face and shakes off the droplets that run down his neck
  • and once again ur mesmerized by his beauty,,,,,but u shake it off to and kneel down to the edge so you can speak with him and you’re like “i want to get you out,,,,but it’s going to be hard,,,,,” and shownu nods,,,not saying much and you bite back your lip and you’re like
  • “they’ll probably be transporting you to another bigger lab soon,,,when they put you in the smaller tank on wheels i might be able to get you out then,,,,the ocean is really close by,,,,”
  • shownu reaches out,,,and you look at his hand,,,,worried but you put yours in it and he looks at you,,,,,,,,,
  • eyes a dark,,,,beautiful brown and you hear him for the first time 
  • “ill trust you.”
  • his voice,,,is softer than his appearance,,,,but it makes your heartbeat and shownu seems to sense the rise of heat in your body because he makes a concerned expression that you just play off with laughter and ur like!!!! i,,,thank u ill do my best,,,,,ill be back tomorrow!!!
  • and you get up,,,,slightly stumbling in embarrassment of blushing in front of a mermaid you met a WEEK ago
  • but shownu swims down toward the glass as you leave the lab and with a wave you say goodbye
  • another weeks goes by and every evening you try and sneak in to see how shownu is doing,,,it’s obvious not being in the actual ocean where his family and friends are is hurting him
  • and you try to find out when they’ll be transporting him
  • and the day comes,,,finally and luckily some of the scientist tell you to wheel the tank down the hall to where the other assistants will take over and you agree
  • lifting the lid slightly as shownu sits,,,cramped in the space,,,tail scrunched up and big shoulders threatening to burst the damn glass 
  • and youre like “shownu,,,im going to get you out of here!” and even though he doesn’t reply,,,you see him turn his head and smile,,,,,so cutely,,,,,,,
  • and so instead of going down the hall you wheel him toward the back door of the lab,,,,which has a ramp thankfully and you’re shaking in fear that someone will notice but it’s only until you’re at the dock where the scientists come in on their boats that you hear the alarm 
  • and as quickly as possible you try to tip over the tank,,,but shownu is heavy and big and so you do what you can only think off,,,
  • with a running start you push the tank and the cart it’s on into the ocean,,,,, shownu seems to get the idea and as soon as it hits the water he pushes himself out,,,,,,,,and you can hear people shouting and they’re going to find you soon
  • but as you stand there on the dock,,,,frightened,,,, you feel someone grab your ankle and pull you down into the water
  • strong arms catch you,,,holding you tight to their chest and you hold your breathe as you go underwater,,,shownu swimming as fast as possible away from the dock 
  • and once you’re far out enough,,, and he makes sure to take into account that you can’t breath too long underwater,,, he swims back to the surface of the water and lets you go as you gulp for air and cough a bit,,,
  • and you can see that you’ve got to be at least a good 5 miles away from shore and you turn to shownu,,,,who has lost the fear in his eyes,,,,replaced instead with gentle concern as he reaches out but then stops,,,,,dropping his hand and sheepishly looking away
  • murmuring out,,,,are you ok? and you nod,,,,still a bit out of breath
  • but you smile and go “i think i can’t go back there,,,,they’ll probably know it was me,,,” and shownu gives you a slightly upset look,,,something between remorse,,,but also,,,,even with his big frame he reminds u of a puppy dog begging for forgiveness
  • and it makes you laugh and ur like “don’t worry,,,,i was just an assistant anyway,,,,but also,,,,,”
  • you look around and there’s nothing but ocean and you’re like “i need,,,,to get back to land,,,” and shownu nods, coming closer and scooping you back up into his arms
  • and ur like “wa-wa-wha-wait- wha-”
  • and once again you’re being held and shownu is swimming so fast,,,but this time ur not clutching your eyes closed in fear,,,, and it stings a little but the water passing by you two is so pretty and shownu,,,,is so big comfortable 
  • that you wish you’d be able to stay like this a bit longer,,,,but you do need air
  • and once you’re close enough to the shore to swim back on your own shownu bows his head and lets you go and says that he’s grateful you helped him
  • and you’re like “oh! one thing!”
  • and you duck underwater,, swimming and finding his fin,,,unclipping the ID and coming back to the surface holding it and you’re like “i don’t want it to bother you anymore,,,” and shownu ,,,,,,
  • seems shocked,,,,but his expression goes soft again,,,,and u swear u see him blush this time,,,, and he goes “,,,,do you visit the ocean often?”
  • and you shrug,,,saying that you probably won’t since you’ll have to quit at the lab,,,but then you stop yourself and look at him and go “but,,,,ill come by every now and then,,,,,,will i see you?”
  • and this time u see the blush,,, the way he puts up one hand to cover his mouth and nose,,,,,but he nods and u grin telling him you’d like him to take you swimming again 
  • but shownu catches you before you start your swim back and from around your neck he motions to your own ID and he’s like “m,,,may i?”
  • and you take it off,, passing it to him and he points to his ID that you’re holding and he’s like “to remember,,,,,me by.” and you’re like “yes, to remember you by.”
  • and you start swimming back,,,,shownu diving back toward the depths of the ocean,,, clutching your ID in his hand and bring it up once more to see the smiling photo of you,,,,,,the human that risked so much for him,,,,,,,(and that he finds immensely adorable) 
Movie Night Pt. 6

Baby Edition

Character Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader

Word Count: 2220

Warnings: 18+ Smut, unprotected sex (wrap the willies, sillies!), SLIGHT anal play, language, Fluff…. so much fluff, you could die from it.

A/N: All the Dad!Bucky feels in this one my friends…

Masterlist



You wiped at the tears that were running down your face.

“A-are you sure?”

The doctor smiled at you and nodded her head, “I sure am.” She turned the screen toward you and pointed out what she saw. “Do you want me to put this on a CD for you so you can take it home?”

You nodded before blubbering even harder. The doctor laughed, handing you some Kleenex, “I hope those are happy tears.”

You smiled at her, dabbing at your make-up, “Yes, oh my yes.”

She handed you the disk and a business card, “I’ll see you next month my dear.”

You stood up and shook her hand that she offered.

You smiled at everyone while walking through the lobby, trying to not burst into tears again.

Once behind the wheel of your car, you let out a little squeal and dug through your purse for your phone. Pulling up Natasha’s number, you hit call and excitedly waited for her to answer.

“Hey, how did it go?” She asked instantly.

You laughed before you answered, “Bucky is going to freak.”

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Captain Black

Request: “Can you do a Pirate AU with Sirius Black where you’re on a ship and it sinks and he saves you?? Or something else if that idea was horrid.”

Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings: violence n stuff

PART 2

Originally posted by pioggiadiricordi

Life on the open waters was rough. Literally and emotionally. Being an explorer of the new world required many months at sea, and currently you were sailing along the Western coast of Africa; prime pirate territory. You had warned the captain of your ship that these waters were too treacherous, that cargo ships taking the shortcut back to England were excellent targets for those vile creatures called pirates. But he had waved you off, muttering something about how you were lucky to be on board because you’re a “disrespectful woman who had no business being on his ship”.

So you had bunkered down, a permanent scowl on your face as the other shipmates gave you hungry looks. At least if you survived taking this shorter route you would be home sooner, meaning no more sleeping while clutching a knife under you pillow. You had no other choice but to accept your companions, since no other ships would accept a female adventurer. You wished that the Kraken would come up and swallow them all whole.

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