is it erikar

SO I WAS GOING TO WAIT TO POST THIS UNTIL ERIDAN FINISHED WRITING THE STORY TO GO ALONG WITH IT. BUT WHAT THE HELL? WHO CARES ABOUT CONTEXT?

OK, A LITTLE CONTEXT: ERIDAN AND I GOT TALKING ABOUT WHAT IF THE GAME HAD NEVER HAPPENED AND WE WENT ON TO LEAD “NORMAL” LIVES ON ALTERNIA. THIS PICTURE IS THE HATCHLING OF THE STORY WE WOVE DURING THAT CONVERSATION AND IT BASICALLY HINGES ON THE IDEA THAT ERIDAN IS SET TO BECOME AN OFFICER/CAPTAIN IN THE IMPERIAL SPACE FLEET WHEN A STROKE OF PURE STUPIDITY DRIVES HIM TO COMMANDEER AN IMPERIAL VESSEL AND ITS UNWITTING CREW TO SAVE HIS MUTANT MOIRAIL FROM CERTAIN DEATH. IDIOTIC ADVENTURES ENSUE. 

SO YEAH. LOOK OUT FOR THAT.

AN OLD MEME THAT WILL BE FOREVER RELEVANT. 

JUST IN CASE YOU NOOKWHIFFERS NEEDED A REMINDER AS TO HOW THIS WORKS AND HAS ALWAYS WORKED.

AND WHEN I USE THE WORD “WORK” I USE IT IN THE LOOSEST SENSE. 

BECAUSE HE DOESN’T LISTEN. EVER.

AMPORA WILL DO AS AMPORA WILL DO AND NO AMOUNT OF SCREECHING ON MY PART WILL EVER STOP HIM. 

ALSO, THIS WAS SOMEWHAT HALFWAY INSPIRED BY THE MARINA AND THE DIAMONDS SONG “OH NO!”  IT’S… SORT OF HIM.

Imagine your OTP

Person 1: *walks up to person 2* Dude, give me your hand.

Person 2: What, why?

Person 1: Would you just give me your hand already?

Person 2: *sighs* Fine. *sticks out hand*

Person 1: *takes sharpie and draws ring on run finger.*

Person 2: You drew a ring. Why’d you draw a ring?

Person 1: We’re married, [insert person 2 name here]. Now and forever.

Person 2: *internally screaming in horror*

2

ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW IS THAT BY ANY AND ALL STANDARDS, BE IT TROLL, HUMAN OR FUCKING GALLIFREYAN, I AM SHORT. 

AND WHILE I MIGHT HAVE HELD THE TEENSIEST HOPE THAT I JUST WASN’T FINISHED GROWING AND THAT I WOULD ONE DAY MOLT INTO SOME MAGNIFICENT ATLAS MOTH TIER BRINGER OF DEATH, I’VE LONG SINCE RESIGNED MYSELF TO THE SOLEMN FACT THAT I AM INDEED A HALF-BAKED RUNT, DOOMED TO WATCH EVERYONE AROUND ME SPROUT UP LIKE OBNOXIOUSLY SMIRKING WEEDS. 

AND, PERHAPS, IT IS THE ONE TRUE EXAMPLE OF A CLOWN-CONTRIVED MIRACLE THAT I EVER MADE IT OUT OF THE BROODING CAVERNS IN THE FIRST PLACE, LET ALONE SOMEHOW SURVIVED LONG ENOUGH TO PUPATE AND ACHIEVE A STATURE THAT CAN AT BEST BE DESCRIBED AS “LEAVES MUCH TO BE DESIRED” AND AT WORST, “SMOL”.

ERIDAN IS TALL. LET’S JUST LEAVE IT AT THAT.