is it bad that i teared at the end

Bad Combo (Evan Hansen x Reader)

TW; purging, abusive parents, HAPPY ENDING

AN; I will hug all of you. This was hard to write and I’m sorry it’s short.

WC; 881


You hovered over the toilet, vomit dripping from your mouth. Tears were rolling down your face. You felt disgusting. You knew there was still food inside of you, and you just wanted it out. You couldn’t hear Evan crawling into your room over the sound of your blaring music. The music was to block out your screaming parents, who barely knew you existed. All they did was fight and throw things. Drink and hit you. You were preparing to shove your fingers into the back of your throat and force the food out of your stomach when the bathroom door swung open slowly.

“(Y/n)?” Evan said loudly, trying to talk over the music. “Oh, oh god.”

You looked up and let your hair fall behind your shoulders. Evan knelt next to you, scanning your face with wide eyes. He reached over for some toilet paper and gently wiped the vomit from your mouth.

“I’m disgusting.” You whispered, a scowl on your face.

“No, no,” Evan whispered. “God no, you’re not disgusting.”

Evan had tears falling down his face, more than you had cried all together tonight. Evan pulled you into his arms and sat with his back against the bathroom door.

“Why- why would-” Evan stammered, his face buried in your hair.

“They-they tell me I’m not s-skinny enough.” You whispered, talking about your parents. A shaky sigh came from Evan, and he held you up so you were looking him in the eyes.

“You’re perfect.” Evan said, an odd wave of confidence in his crying eyes.

“You’re you, and that’s perfect.” Evan held you in his arms until the sun was shining through the single bathroom window. He had fallen asleep, so you were just laying in his arms silently. Your eyes were planted on a fading bruise on your wrist, from where your mother had dragged you by the wrist so tightly she left finger prints. You hadn’t noticed Evan was awake until a finger gently traced the bruises.

“Did your mom do that?” Evan asked, his voice soft.

“No.” You mumbled, a sigh coming through your lips. “Yes.”

Evan took a shaky breath as he interlaced his hands with yours. “Come-Come live with me, please.” Evan pleaded, squeezing your hand.

“Evan-” you whispered. “I can’t. Your family is just barely making it, I can’t do that to you guys.”

“Please, (y/n), please. I’ll do anything for you, I’ll get another job, I’ll sell everything I own.” Evan begged, tears gathering in his eyes.

“You deserve so much more, so so much more. So much that not even the richest man could give you.” Evan mumbled, setting his chin on your shoulder Evan treated you like a goddess, even though you saw yourself as so much less.

“It’s just a bad combo,” You whispered, trying to convince yourself. “Some people have it worse.”

“A bad combo?” Evan’s voice cracked. “Please, let me help you, I love you so much.”

A tear slipped down your face and you nodded lightly. Evan sighed of relief, glad you were finally going to let him help you.

“Can-Can we get your stuff today? I want you safe as soon as possible.” Evan asked, letting go of your hands and wrapping his hands around your body.

“Okay.” You mumbled, listening to the silence. “Okay.”

Evan eventually got up from embracing you and left with you to go get his car. When you drove back Evan quickly packed all of your things before your parents could wake up from their drunken sleep. You left a note, and told them not to look for you. You knew they wouldn’t, anyways.

When Heidi came home that night, she was more than confused. She was willing to let you live with them as long as you wanted as long as you could help around. Evan unpacked your stuff into his room, insisting you stay in the same room as him. You shyly accepted and ended up cuddling together every night. Heidi wasn’t home much, but you and Evan had been going strong for a year. Every Friday was movie and pizza night, and sometimes Jared would come over. You got to finally meet the people in Evan’s life. Your parents had never looked for you, but you realized you didn’t need them to be happy. You kept making yourself throw up for a while until Evan slowly helped you break the habit and feel better about yourself. Evan had changed your life for the better- hell, he had practically saved it. You would never tell him or anybody else, but one day you wanted to marry him. It was another late night where you both lie awake in each others embrace, whispering back and forth.

“Evan?” You whispered, a smile shining through your voice.

“Yes?” He whispered back, holding you against his bare chest.

“I love you.” You kissed his chest and closed your eyes, burying your face into his chest.

“I love you too, beautiful.” Evan smiled, putting his hands in your hair and kissing your head.


I’ve been thinking a lot about compassion in Judaism, and being kind. In that light, I would like everyone to know that my current favorite Jewish supernatural headcanon is that, instead of driving vampires away with crosses or stakes through the heart, we say the Mourner’s Kaddish for them. I mean, that’s just so adorable. You see this threatening undead creature, and instead of yelling murder, you feel bad for them, and you mourn for them. Imagine being a vampire at the receiving end of that, having been chased away for years and years and told you’re a monster when you come across someone who sees you and your existence and accepts that you’re in a pretty bad place and offers help in the best way they can. I’m actually tearing up about this a little. If someone adds to this post I’ll love them forever.

a long list of my fave lightning thief musical moments
  • before the play started they had fog in the air and the sound of thunder and crows playing over the speakers, it was so spooky, i walked into the theater and immediately fell in love (also they were selling orange chb t-shirts at the merch table!)
  • you’ve probably already seen pics of the set design but ancient greek columns sprayed w graffiti and covered in nyc scaffolding is the Ultimate PJO Aesthetic
  • sally calling percy “baby” :’) carrie compere’s sally was so good overall i loved her so much
  • mr. d’s song was so funny, george salazar really nailed him
  • luke going past percy while sword training and stopping to watch him go by when they met eyes uhhh…..
  • percy and grover’s hug when they see each other again, percy just ran to him and held him so tight i love them
  • luke annabeth and grover sitting together and joking in the background!! there were a lot of little interactions between characters when the focus wasnt on them that were so cute <3
  • percy making lightsaber noises with his sword when he first gets it before capture the flag
  • silena hyping clarisse up during “put you in your place”
  • grover crying about pan but trying to keep dancing during his part of the campfire song
  • percy at the campfire saying he can’t sing after he’s spent the entire first act singing, i love him
  • also the entire campfire song being abt how much everyone hates their parents and then percy standing up and being like “hi everyone, i love my mom”
  • percy climbing the scaffolding during “good kid” and hanging like he’s going to jump when he sings “all you get are bad grades and a bum rap and a bad rep and a good smack and no friends and no hope and no mom” chris made me cry real tears here oof
  • grover telling percy he’s coming w him on his quest and percy immediately going into Angry Protective Mode and grover jumping in before he can say anything w/ “don’t get mad!”
  • act 1 ending with this big triumphant song abt leaving on their quest but then the lights go dark and monster calls echo and groups of red eyes peak from the back of the stage and percy grabs for grover’s hand before the blackout 😭
  • “i don’t wanna die in the garden state!”
  • grover staring percy down for a good silent five seconds after percy responded to him talking to a squirrel w “this is nuts”
  • annabeth telling percy her mom turned medusa into a monster and chugging water halfway through her sentence so she doesn’t have to finish it
  • “that little squirrel came back and gave me these!” “three amtrak tickets?”
  • girl in braids and a floppy hat at the lotus hotel: why, my brother and i arrived just yesterday, may 1st, 1939!
  • thalia singing softly on the second level while luke and annabeth stand behind her with their hands held out, lit w green light, turning her into a tree while grover tells percy about being afraid he failed her, he was crying, i was crying
  • “it’s charon with an “a” as in AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  • creators of this musical, apparently: well we dont have time to focus on them facing cerberus so now he’s a dj for a sequined charon who rocks the entire theater
  • “i think this pit is tartarus” “(gasping) YOU MEAN LIKE………..THE FISH SAUCE
  • the toilet paper guns used for percy’s water powers being shot over the audience until the entire orchestra was completely covered in toilet paper
  • “well the gods aren’t always fair but we’re not total dicks”
  • jonathan raviv’s quick change from poseidon to chiron was really quick so he came out as chiron with his shirt unbuttoned in the deepest v saying “I GALLOPED HERE AS FAST AS I COULD” which was ridiculous and yet completely in character
  • percy and luke’s handshake! and luke telling percy what he thinks of the gods and going for the handshake and percy hesitantly doing it w him bc he agrees w/ the way luke feels before realizing that luke’s the lightning thief
  • luke has a dark reprise of “good kid” when he betrays percy and i !!!! SCREAMED!!!!
  • also the creators of this musical, apparently: well we cant have a poison scorpion on stage so how about luke just fuckin stabs percy in the back? hm?
  • the stage was a huge mess of confetti and toilet paper by the end which is truly the only way a percy jackson musical should end
  • please go see this if you have the chance it’s so funny and so good, it’s really an amazing adaption that gets the tone of the book so well and every actor captures their character(s) perfectly, they all clearly know the material and seem like they’re having so much fun onstage, i loved it so much!!!!

You.

You hurt me. You broke me. You made me bleed more than anyone ever has. It’s funny though. When I met you it felt like our souls knew each other. It felt like they had intertwined and we were supposed to meet. It felt like I knew you from when I was little. I thought that we’d be friends forever. No matter how far apart we were, somehow I thought that we’d always know each other. I always believed in us. No matter how bad the argument or how terrible the fight got. I had hope that we’d grow old as friends and be there for each other through all the upside downs.

I told you that no matter what, I’d be there for you. You promised me the same. I told you that if you were laying awake at three a.m and you couldn’t stop thinking to call me and I’d listen to you ramble for hours and hours on end. I promised you that if you were crying I’d wipe away your tears. I promised that even if I were miles away from you I’d come back if you were hurting and needed me. I promised that nothing would ever change my mind and make me hate you, because I can’t hate you. My soul and heart won’t let me.

To me you were always going to be there. To me I thought that our promises would never die. I thought that, as long as we were both alive our promises to each other would live. You made me believe that. Actually, I made myself believe that. I didn’t want to listen to my brain or my parents. When they told me to watch out I didn’t listen. When they said that we became friends too quickly I didn’t believe them.

—  quotes-134 , you.
It's not just the food that's revolting.

(long story)

Back in my college days, I lived on campus and ate the 20-meals-a-week meal plan at the cafeteria. It was… terrible. Seriously. I know people complain about their college cafeteria all the time, but they still gain their “freshman 15”. I lost mine. The food was disgusting. Sunday spaghetti was made from tomato sauce and Saturday’s cheap hamburgers. One week they didn’t bother ripping up the hamburgers: watery, sauce-tinted, overcooked noodles garnished with dry, leathery, two-day-old hamburger patties. It was still better than the other options. At first, they had a “make your own pizza” line, but removed it because everyone was using it, and “bread isn’t cheap.” I remember seeing a real salad in their “healthy eats” line and getting excited, because it’s hard to screw up salads, only to realize that it was literally floating in oil. The salad on the actual salad bar was not an option; it was changed out every morning, whether it needed it or not. Oh, sorry, I meant the ice in the salad bar. Not the salad, no. A student wrote his initials in the tuna and it remained for a solid week. Sometimes the salad would grow its own salad.

They had a big board set up for student complaints, and they would write responses back. Oddly enough, the board rarely had bad things to say; the manager, may he be haunted by a thousand bedbugs, confessed that he didn’t have time to answer every complaint, but he did read every one, and took the complaints into consideration. And, as far as we could tell, threw away all the ones he didn’t like.

Keep reading

7

🌟THE GOLDEN THREAD TAROT🌟

I’ve only just been able to tear myself away from these beautiful cards in order to make this post. They arrived this morning and ever since, I’ve just been handling them and taking endless photos. I swear, it’s impossible to take a bad picture of this deck! 

Some thoughts and first impressions bellow the cut! 

Keep reading

Amends

For the following request: “Could you please do a blurb where harry and the reader get into an argument?” 

This one is rather long, and angsty… Hope you all enjoy :) x



“What do you mean you can’t come? We’re in the bridal party, Harry..” you trail off meekly, staring at him with wide eyes over the top of your laptop.

He’s leaning against the doorway of your shared room with his arms crossed against the chest of the white t shirt he has on, tattooed arms glowing in the light of the sunset that’s streaming through the parted curtains, “Christ, love.. I kno’. But there’s nothin’ I can do… yeh kno’ I’d be there if I could.”

You blink at him in disbelief over your screen before you lower it to a close, sitting up on the bed and curling your legs towards you as you set the computer aside. You’re at a loss for words and the silence in between you two is deafening. He’s talking about missing your sister’s wedding this weekend, a wedding that has been planned months in advance.

“Say somethin,” he commands with a rasping voice, causing you to look up at him from your shocked reviere.

“Can’t you talk to Jeff? Harry everyone’s expecting us…” you try again with a weak voice, tilting your head at him. All your extended relatives were excited to meet Harry, but most especially your grandparents.

He sighs deeply and pushes off the doorway, making his way towards you and sitting on the bed next to you. He covers your knee with a hand, giving it a loving squeeze as he looks you carefully in the eye, “Tried, my love. S’just something ‘ve got t’do. S’fo m’job innit?”

His last statement makes the dropping sense of disappointment in your stomach pause for a moment.  He has a point. In all your time with Harry, you hadn’t often resented his career. It was a lot to handle, yes. From the hate, to the never ending flashes of cameras, to the overwhelming feeling of him being gone time and time again. His career was something he worked so hard for  and he made you so proud.  He handled as much as he personally could with charm and a careful heart, and even if you weren’t dating him- you know you’d admire him. Especially with his upcoming album, one that he’s worked so tirelessly for, one that you had convinced him was golden time and time again, you know this last minute nuisance of a event is crucial. And although the overwhelming part of you wants to throw a fit, you know you won’t.

His eyes are sincere and his brows are furrowed as he watches every inch of your face closely. You can tell he feels guilty, and you shake your head boldly before clearing your throat, “Y-yeah You’re right. It’s okay, Harry.”

Harry sighs with relief, giving you a boyish grin before he leans forward and presses a puckering kiss to your cheek in appreciation, “S’my girl. Knew yeh would understand fo’ me.”

That had been 4 days ago, and you thought you would understand. Because you had time and time again, but now, sitting with your hair pinned up in two dozen different places and aching feet to accompany your sour mood- you think otherwise. It had been a succession of events that had led you to feeling so… damn sorry for yourself. From your cousin having to step in to accompany you in the bridal festivities, to answering the question of Harry’s whereabouts from countless relatives, to Harry not even sending you a text throughout the day, and to now- watching the couples of all types dancing away: daddy/daughter, bride and groom, old aunts and uncles, and your parents. You feel completely alone in a room full of people, and slightly humiliated too.

Keep reading

I DIDN’T HAVE TIME FOR “CLASSY”

Originally posted by magiccastles

Summary: You’re the student body president. Your boyfriend is the school’s notorious bad boy and an underground performer. There’s no way the two of you do anything sexual… right?

Warnings: language, fingering, penetration (idk man it’s smut and it’s not as wild as some I’ve written)

Word Count: 2133


“You’re watching me perform tonight, right baby?” Jaebum asked, snaking his arms around your waist as his chest pressed against your back.

He placed a small kiss on the back of your neck then one behind your ear. You leaned back against him, temporarily stopping what you were doing.

“Help me finish taping this poster up and I’ll consider it,” you replied.

Keep reading

  • MC: I'm really in love with you, Seven!
  • Seven: Good luck with that.

hayley kiyoko is such a fucking gift, ok? she tackled violence against trans women (it’s very triggering but holy shit she addresses it) in her new video, that she directed, while actually featuring a trans woman (erin armstrong) in it, who gets saved by a young black boy THE LITERAL HERO of the story and they end up becoming friends? it’s so stunning and i l o v e her she’s so inclusive and important and she’s truly a gift to our generation and i’m crying tears of happiness. ♡♡ our ultimate wlw icon.

2

Lots of narratives have been going around about why Hillary lost. Most are placing the blame directly on the candidate herself, ignoring a few key points:

1. Hillary won the popular vote by 3 million votes. Yes. 3 million. To minimize this or not take it into consideration proves you are bias in your analysis of why Hillary lost. You don’t win the popular vote by 3 million if you are a truly bad candidate (Hillary also won every single debate). And for historical reference, Al Gore only won the popular vote by 500,000. Hillary won it by 3 million. 3 million votes is no small feat. You cannot ignore this fact if you want an un-bias analysis of why Hillary lost the election. The last two Republican Presidents lost the popular vote!

Also – both popular vote winners Al Gore and Hillary Clinton were hurt by progressives (Nader and Bernie) who got too comfortable after 8 years of a Democrat in the White House. Our side seems to shoot itself in the foot after 8 years in power. As we learned yet again – every vote counts, especially in the swing states. Because guess what? You can win the popular vote and still lose the election due to the electoral college. Progressives blew it big time for the second time in 20 years and hurt our popular vote winners Al Gore and Hillary Clinton. A cumulative 3.5 million more votes for the Democrats!

2. In U.S. politics, one party usually has power over the White House for only 8 years. Very rarely does a party hold onto the White House longer than 8 years. The last time was when Bush Senior won after Ronald Reagan, but then he quickly lost re-election to Bill Clinton. Democrat Al Gore couldn’t even win after Clinton left us with a surplus and booming economy. This usually happens because the side that isn’t in power tends to rise up, while the side that occupies the White House gets lazy and complicit. From a historical perspective, America was already headed towards a Republican Administration in 2016. Combine that with the racist backlash to Obama, and Trump exploiting the rise of worldwide racist nationalism, it’s no wonder their base turned out and ours didn’t. Remember – under Obama, the Democrats have lost 900 legislative seats nationwide and most of the Governorships and state legislatures, too (in addition to the White House and U.S. Congress). The backlash to Obama has been strong and was bound to hurt us in 2016. Point is – in American politics, very rarely does the same party occupy the White House for more than two-terms. This especially holds true when you combine that with racism and the rise of nationalism working against the first African American President. Conservatives were out for blood after 8 years of Obama, while our side shot itself in the foot by allowing Bernie to run as a Democrat (Nader all over again).

3. Just as in the United Kingdom (Brexit), there has been a worldwide resurgence in a nationalistic white working-class. Trump exploited this in a way Bernie Sanders never could have. Why? Because nationalism is being used to scapegoat immigrants and minorities. The 2016 election truly was an election about which party was going to turn out their base (whites vs. minorities). That’s why Hillary spent her time trying to convince us of the dangers a Trump Presidency posed to minorities. And if we had voted in levels similar to 2008, our base would have triumphed. But a core part of our base was missing – young voters that showed up for Obama but not Hillary. Why? Bernie fucking Sanders. Most of the “Bernie-or-Bust” voters I knew were young male progressives who puked at the thought of ever voting for Hillary. They even called Bernie a “sell-out” when he half-heartedly campaigned for her. What a shame. Because in the face of Brexit, every vote counted. Remember – Trump only won the swing states by a total of 80,000. How many “Bernie-or-Busters” were in the swing states? Seriously – never underestimate angry white men showing up at the polls (Brexit and Trump). Our side is much harder to turn out. That’s why every vote counted. And yes… I’m looking at you, college students!

4. Comey. The momentum the 3rd debate victory produced was lost after the Comey letter. The 3rd debate was the debate where “Nasty Woman” was coined. The closet thing the Hillary campaign came to naturally produced momentum. And it (luckily) came near the end of the election in the final stretch. Hillary was riding high after the 3rd debate domination – 11% polling lead. Everyone thought she was going to win and Nate Silver gave her over a 90% chance of winning. But then came the Comey letter. 

His letter also came after the release of Trump’s “pussy grabber” tape. The media narrative switched from “pussy grabber” to “FBI re-opens Clinton E-mail Probe.” The headlines became anti-Clinton rather than anti-Trump. And in American culture, media momentum is huge. That’s why they call it an “October Surprise.” Late deciding voters heavily broke for Trump due to the Comey letter and that’s what made the difference. 

Hillary ordered a complete analysis of the election and the Comey letter was the only new variable from her 11-point polling bump after the 3rd debate to election day. “Pussy grabber” was old news. “E-mails” became front and center yet again. This is why there is currently an independent review of Comey’s actions as we speak. Official protocol says to never release anything about a case if it may sway an election. Why? Because it might turn out to be false. Just like what happened. Comey ultimately retracted the letter in the final hours of the election, but the damage had already been done. Hillary was finished. Her 11-point debate lead – gone. That’s why there is currently an official investigation into Comey breaking official protocol and swaying the election in Trump’s favor. Once this investigation is complete, I’m sure you’ll be hearing from the Clintons.

5. Sexism. The 2016 election proved a far more qualified woman can still lose to a far less qualified man. Actually, Hillary was the most qualified person (man or woman) to ever run for the Presidency. Any man with Hillary’s accomplishments and qualifications never would have lost. It wouldn’t have even been close. Period.

6. Russian interference. We’ll never know exactly how much Russia swayed the election, but the influx of “fake news” targeting Hillary Clinton definitely had an impact on her public perception, especially in regards to her “trustworthiness.” Putin had a vendetta against Hillary because he held her responsible for the protests he faced after his re-election. He also thought Hillary would be far more aggressive and effective than Obama. He’d rather have a puppet and buffoon as President (Trump) than the brilliant Hillary Rodham Clinton.

7. The media. Hillary’s e-mails were made to seem just as bad as the millions of horrific things Trump did over the course of his 4-times bankrupt career. The false equivalence was mind-boggling. In the pursuit of trying to appear “un-bias” by saying both sides were equally corrupt, they ended up being bias against Hillary and helping Trump win the Presidency. The actual un-bias viewpoint is that nothing Hillary has done is anywhere near the level of deplorable things Trump has done. But the media made Hillary seem just as bad as Trump in order to give the impression that they were being “objective.” 

I truly hope the media did some soul-searching after the 2016 election. Tearing down Hillary and glorifying Trump – giving rise to his “cult-of-personality” has really bitten you in the ass, hasn’t it? Now you have at minimum 4 years of covering a manipulative propaganda artist con-man who just likes to play head games. Have fun!!

8. Republican witch-hunts. Republicans abused their power, which led to 8 separate Benghazi investigations. More investigations than Pearl Harbor, the JFK assassination, and 9/11. Yet Hillary was never found of any wrongdoing and came out victorious after her triumphant 11-hour Benghazi testimony. Unfortunately, after so many fake “scandals,” Hillary’s image had been damaged. Which was the entire point of these fake scandals – even if Hillary isn’t guilty, we can still accuse her of corruption and plant seeds of doubt. But rather than viewing the Republicans as the corrupt ones, manufacturing fake Clinton scandals and wasting tax-payer money, many Americans drank the Clinton hate kool-aid (even progressives).

All of these factors led to the “perfect storm.” Which is why we needed every single vote in every single state. Yet Hillary still managed to win the popular vote by 3 million despite Russian interference, Bernie mania, multiple witch-hunts by Republicans, 11-hour Benghazi testimony, sexism, a media hell bent on false equivalency, a rise in worldwide racist nationalism, one party historically only occupying the White House for 8 years, and the devastating Comey letter. 

3 million more votes. Despite it all. A majority of Americans agree with our vision and our values. By the millions. And that’s not even taking into consideration ID laws and voter suppression of minorities, which greatly decreased the amount we won by.

“But, you know, then at the end, we had the Russians and the FBI deal. She couldn’t prevail against that. She did everything else and still won by 2.8 million votes.

The finest vote counter in America is Nate Silver. He told you what costed the election.” ~President Bill Clinton

A political icon and legend. Was going for round 3 in the White House. And we all know she ran it the first two times.

Confessions and Geometry! A Small Medium and a Rogue at Large!

(From the same campaign as this anime love triangle nonsense:

https://yourplayersaidwhat.tumblr.com/post/159992078033/the-uniting-power-of-love-triangles-midlife-dance

An in-game week or two later, the mage (now revealed to specifically be a medium) and the rogue drank away their frustrations after fighting a demonic ogre destroying the city walls. A brief heart-to-heart leads to a quick kiss before embarrassment and gentlemanliness respectively take over for both of them. Eventually, after an evening fighting a village full of were-spiders (and a night of the medium and elf princess snuggling in their sleep), they find the time the next morning to hash things out when they’re not drunk or pissed off at the last combat…)

Rogue: “I had a couple of questions about that night…”

Medium: “…Okay?”

Rogue: “Well… How do you feel about me?”

Medium: “(SHIT!) Uh! I-I… I don’t know exactly… But… I wouldn’t mind finding out?”

Rogue: “Well, what a wonderful coincidence! Seems I feel the same way.”

Medium: “Oh! Great! …W-what happens now?”

Rogue: “…Tell you what. If you don’t like this, just… smack me.”

(A gentle kiss turns into a bear hug from the medium)

Rogue: “Ooh, no smacks. That’s good!”

Medium: “I… I have to tell you something.”

Rogue: “Alright, I’m all ears.”

Medium (whispering): “I also have had feelings about [Princess] and I don’t know what exactly I’m going to do about anything.”

Rogue: “Oh, is that all? Well, that just means we have a lot of options figure out.”

Medium: “Wait, what? Options?”

Rogue: “Sure! Let me just…” (Scribbles down the diagrams from this webpage in his journal and starts explaining them to her: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TriangRelations )

Medium: (Absolutely lost in thought over this new information)

Rogue: “See, by my count, you have 13 different ways of going about this! …Hmm, wait. Make that 14.”

Rogue: (Makes a new triangle diagram, with no arrows between ‘A’, ‘B’, or 'C’.)

Rogue: “In this scenario, A does not end up in a romantic relationship with B or C, but B and C will still be A’s best friends, and fight by her side like always. This is the worst case scenario, and I call it that loosely, because it’s not really that bad at all. No matter what you choose, I’ll still be there, shanking motherfuckers who are trying to shank you. I promise.”

(It is at this point that the medium literally jumps our rogue with tears in her eyes. It is also at this point that we realize she’s wearing heavier armor than the rogue, and he wouldn’t be able to support her weight and remain standing.)

Medium: “Oh my god, I’m so sorry!”

Rogue (Wheezing): “It’s okay! My spine broke my fall!”

(The rogue got up, tore out the page of his journal, crumpled it up, and threw it at the eavesdropping paladin, who then started trying to decipher the meaning of all the little triangles. We cap off our glimpse into this sickeningly adorable anime bullshit by saying: To those who commented about polyamory in the last submission, we’re way ahead of you.)

anonymous asked:

Hi!! Just wanna say I loved all the fics you recommended about hurt/comfort- they're my fave. If you have more time, is it possible for you to recommend more? Thanks in advance!!

Thanks for all these requests! I have a whole section of hurt/comfort fics on my fic rec master list page where you can also find a sickfic list!

Originally posted by sawumura


Yuuri/Victor Gets Injured 


Fall hard (on your head) by I_hate_usernames, Gen, 10k
Takes place in episode five. Instead of getting a bloody nose after attempting the triple flip, Yuuri hits his head and gets a concussion. Love confessions, delusional Yuuri, and mutual comfort. Thumbs up!

Praise Please by surveycorpsjean Explicit, 5.3k
Yuuri gets distracted by Victor’s praise on the rink and hurts his ankle. Victor knows a few ways to make him feel better. Fluff and smut. Love!

Embrace by CherikThilbo, Teen, 1.4k
After his crash in the ring Yuri is a little worse for wear. CUDDLES!

Quadruple Flip by haganenoheichou (bondageluvr), Mature, 17k
After he injures his knee, Victor has no other option but to quit skating. Yuuri can’t know his coach is injured, though, so Victor tries to keep it a secret. A little angsty, the epitome of hurt/comfort, and a happy ending.

Saudade by AdvisedPanic, Teen, 6.6k
After an injury at the GPS that prevents his 5th consecutive win, Victor vows to return to skating to reclaim his title. Katsuki Yuuri is a ballet danseur who suffered a similar injury years before and made a successful comeback. Yuuri choreographs and coaches Victor through his toughest competitive season yet, but as it will always be, they fall in love along the way. LOVE!

Insult to Injury by glim, Gen, 8k
Almost a whole week alone with Viktor might not be worth one of them made victim to a sprained ankle and both of them to a winter head cold, but maybe it is worth all that, at least in some small way. Snuggles, a head cold, and a sprained ankle!

Enough by youaremarvelous, Teen, 3.7k
While training for the Hot Springs on Ice skate-off, Yuuri tries to outrun his anxiety and ends up with an injury. Happy ending, don’t worry!

Stretch by cosmonaut_field, Teen, 19k (WIP)
Competitive figure skater Viktor Nikiforov injures himself on vacation right after winning another gold medal and is in need of a physical therapist. Enter the quiet Dr. Katsuki. SO GOOD!

Broken Skates by realityfallsapart, Not Rated (Smut in last chapter), 9.7k
Viktor saw what was going to happen a split second before it did, and judging from the sharp intake of breath next to him, so did Yuri.

Benched by apollosoyuz, Gen, 2.1k
One bad landing was all it took to break Yuuri’s leg and now he’s benched for the season, but the person taking Yuuri’s time off the hardest is Viktor; afraid that the injury could be enough to force Yuuri to leave skating – and leave his side. Thumbs up!

the minor fall, the major lift by melonbug, Teen, 29k (WIP)
Victor Nikiforov knows first hand the tragedy of a rising skater breaking too soon. He’d retired early, due to an accident of his own, and he steps in to be Yuuri’s coach in the wake of his injury, determined to guide him better than he himself had been guided. Great fic, so many feels!

Old Wounds by Piike, Gen, 985 words
It’s when Viktor takes off his shirt to change when Yuuri notices a small scar he’s never seen before on his upper back. He reaches a hand forward, his fingers lightly brushing the shiny pink skin, and he blushes when Viktor turns to acknowledge him. “Would you like to see more?” VERY sweet and quick! (No one gets injured, they just reminisce on past injuries!)

Naturally Yours by chellethewriter, Teen, 7.3k
Viktor’s smiles are fluid, passionate, overpowering – worth more than money, worth more than anything that Yuuri could possibly offer. They’re worth all the stars in the sky and everything beyond. SO MANY EMOTIONS

On My Love by Phoenix_Trite, Gen, 2.4k
Yuuri has been practicing harder than ever for the upcoming competition and Victor could not be prouder of him. But tensions rise between the two when Yuuri takes a bad hit. Tears will be shed!!! (Happy ending!)

Don’t Stop Me Now by Iggysassou, Gen, 2.6k
An accident occurs during the warm up session preceding the Rosetelecom Cup’s free skate program, leaving him slightly injured. Viktor is determined to compete though, even if his decision goes against his coach and his fiancé’s wishes. Post-canon fic! Yuuri is sassy in this at the end and I love it!

I Got You On My Mind [Part 6]

Jungkook Soulmate AU (Angst)

[Part OnePrevious Part | Part Six | Next Part

Summary: After regaining some of your memories, you and Jungkook finally face the truth.

Word count: 1.9k words

Originally posted by jungxook

When Jieun came home, she found you sitting on the floor. Your eyes were red, but your tears had dried long ago. Jieun regarded your blank expression with concern, immediately dropping to the ground to check on you.

“Y/N, what’s wrong?” Jieun asked frantically, looking at your body for injuries. “Did you hurt your leg again? Why are you crying?”

You sighed and closed your eyes, feeling more tired than upset. Jieun’s flittering hands stilled, as if she sensed that something was off.

“Y/N?”

“I remember now, Jieun,” you said. “I remember what happen that night, and what happened after. I know that you and Jungkook were a thing, and that he rejected me right away.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner,” Jieun whispered, her own eyes watering. “I didn’t want to upset you or confuse you. It hurt you so much the first time, I didn’t want to see you go through it again.”

“I just don’t understand,” you replied, your voice strained with frustration. “Did you like him? Do you still like him? Is that why you tried to hide your relationship with him from me?”

“What? No! No, of course not,” Jieun exclaimed, her eyes widening with surprise. “I mean, I did have a bit of a crush on him, but our relationship was just physical. It ended as soon as you two figured out that you’re…you know, soulmates.”

“But I’m still confused,” you said, trying to hold off another wave of tears. “Jungkook said he wanted nothing to do me. But now he’s so sweet. He’s like two different people, and I don’t know which one is the real him.”

“Just talk to him,” Jieun smiled, rubbing your back gently. “He’s not as bad as you remember. I’m sure the person Jungkook is with you now is the person he wishes he was when you first met.”

“Still, why was he so cruel in the beginning?” you asked helplessly. “I don’t know if I can forgive that.”

“Only Jungkook can answer that,” Jieun replied softly. “Promise me you’ll talk to him, okay?”

You nodded, realizing that Jieun knew much more than she let on. She helped you to your feet and led you back to the couch. You decided you wouldn’t press her for more information, because in the end, you would need to talk to Jungkook eventually.


Even though you had decided to talk to Jungkook, you hadn’t been able to muster enough courage to confront him. He had no idea that you had regained your memories, so he was contacting you like usual. But when you picked up your phone to reply, the events of your first encounter flashed before your eyes. Every time that happened, you put your phone down and tried to ignore your heavy heart.

So, to put it simply, you had been ignoring Jungkook for the past week.

You had several unread messages in your inbox from Jungkook. Surely Jungkook was so popular, he wasn’t used to be ignored. The texts started coming less frequently, and you wondered if they would eventually stop all together. You figured–albeit guiltily–that if Jungkook really wanted company, he could find another girl.

One Thursday afternoon, you were reading through some notes sent to you by a classmate when you heard Jungkook’s thoughts whispering in the back of your head. You jumped, growing unaccustomed to your soulmate’s presence after such a long period of silence.

“Why isn’t she talking to me?” Jungkook thought, and although it was quiet in your mind, you could hear the worry in your voice. Your heart panged, and you felt bad for assuming the worst of Jungkook. Clearly, he was still thinking of you. “Did I do something wrong again?”

Again.

No, not again. The first mistake was hurtful enough. But of course, Jungkook had no idea that you remembered what he had done. You wanted to scream at him–make him hurt as much as he had hurt you. But you also just wanted to see him again, because you had grown to love the caring side of Jungkook that he had shown you.

“Maybe her condition got worse,” came Jungkook’s next thought, which sounded even more alarmed than the last. “I should stop by. Yeah–I’ll go after class.”

You jumped to your feet, wavering as you tried to catch your balance. Reaching out for your crutches, you hobbled out of your room and into the living room, where Jieun was playing guitar.

“Jieun!” you screeched, making her jump.

“Oh my god!” Jieun squealed, placing a hand over her heart dramatically. “Why are you screaming at me?”

“Jungkook’s coming here after his class is over,” you hurried to explain, your words overlapping in your haste. Still, Jieun understood what you were trying to say.

“Oh, so do you need me to leave?” Jieun asked, setting aside her guitar. “I can disappear for an hour or two.”

“No, no! Definitely do not leave,” you squeaked desperately. “I’m not ready to see him! I need you to cover for me. Tell him that I’m not home and that I forgot my phone here.”

“What? Y/N, are you avoiding him?” Jieun demanded, her face growing dark. “You promised me that you would talk to him! Ignoring your problems won’t make them go away.”

“I know, I know!” you replied. “And I will talk to him, but I’m just not ready yet. I need time to process everything so that I can face him properly. I don’t want to get upset and ruin things forever.”

Jieun’s face softened at your obvious fear, and she sighed. “I understand why you’re scared, but you should trust Jungkook a little bit too,” she argued. “He’s shown you that he’s a good guy, right? I get why you’re so hesitant, believe me. But I’m also seeing this from Jungkook’s perspective, too.”

“You’re my friend, be on my side!” you whined. Jieun rolled her eyes at you.

“Okay, don’t do that. I’m doing what’s best for you,” Jieun said. “Even though you don’t want to talk to him now, in the long run, you’ll be thanking me for making you two work out your problems.”

“I’ll thank you even more if you cover for me this one time,” you said, on the borderline of begging. “I swear I’ll talk to him after, Jieun! I just need a little more time. I’m really not ready to see Jungkook.”

“Fine,” Jieun sighed, falling back onto the couch in frustration. “I’ll cover for you this one time. You can go hide in your room or whatever.”

“Thank you so much, Jieun!” you cried. “I love you so much! You’re the best.”

“I know,” Jieun laughed. “And I’m assuming you ignored all of Jungkook’s attempts to contact you up until now?”

You looked away guiltily.


When Jungkook knocked on the door, you were hiding in your room. Your bedroom door was left slightly ajar, so if you peeked through, you could see the foyer. Jieun approached it, glaring at you as she did. You sent her a thankful smile.

Jieun opened the door, but you couldn’t see Jungkook.

“Oh, Jieun,” Jungkook said. You missed the sound of his sweet voice–you could admit that. “Is Y/N around? I haven’t heard from her since I saw her last week.”

“No, she’s not around,” Jieun replied easily. “Y/N had to spend the week with her grandparents, because they got really worried when they heard about the accident. And she was dumb enough to leave her phone at home.”

“Oh,” Jungkook said, sounding surprised. It sounded like a valid excuse, and you were a little shocked that Jieun was so good at lying. “I’m surprised she didn’t tell me earlier.”

“It’s because she didn’t know that she would be leaving until her grandparents showed up,” Jieun answered. She continued a bit sheepishly, “Actually, I was supposed to tell you that she would be out of town. I guess I forgot.”

“Yeah, guess you did,” Jungkook replied dryly. Jieun just shrugged and sent him a carefree smile. “When will she be back?”

“Sometime next week,” Jieun said. You gulped, realizing that she was giving you a deadline.

“Alright,” Jungkook said slowly. He sounded like he was getting ready to leave. “Thanks, I guess.”

Jieun began to close the door slowly. You exhaled in relief, feeling your body deflate. I can’t believe that worked, you thought. Jieun should have been an actress.

“What the fuck?” Jungkook’s voice suddenly thundered. Jieun jumped, backing away from the door. Jungkook burst through the foyer. “Why are you lying to me?”

“W-what are you talking about?” Jieun stammered.

“Y/N, where are you?” Jungkook called out, ignoring Jieun completely. “I know you’re here. I can hear you thinking right now.”

Oh shit.

“Yeah, oh shit is right,” Jungkook snorted. He scanned the apartment, finally settling on your bedroom door. He saw your face peeking through, and he smiled slightly and began to approach you.

Accepting your fate, you pulled yourself to your feet and opened the door, clutching the doorframe for support.

“Why are you avoiding me?” Jungkook asked once he stood in front of you, the hurt clear in his downtrodden expression. “Did I do something to upset you?”

“Yeah, you did,” you replied tiredly.

“What was it?” Jungkook questioned, confused. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you, if I did. I thought you had a good time with me last week.”

“I did,” you smiled. “You’ve been really great since the hospital. You helped me a lot, and you’re fun to be around.”

“Then what’s the problem?” Jungkook asked, cocking his head adorably in confusion.

“It’s what happened before then,” you said simply.

Jungkook paled, his mouth opening slightly. His eyes lowered, and you could see his jaw clenching. He stood there quietly for a few moments, but eventually, he tentatively lifted his gaze to meet yours.

“You remember everything,” Jungkook said quietly. It wasn’t a question. He was biting his lip nervously, and you wondered why he was the nervous one when it was you who had been deceived all along.

“Not everything, but I remember enough,” you responded. You broke your eye contact with Jungkook, feeling overwhelmed. “I don’t understand you at all, Jungkook. Why are being so nice now?”

“It’s…it’s a really long story,” Jungkook sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “I can’t justify what I did, but if it means anything to you, I regret everything that happened that night. I didn’t mean a word I said.”

“Then why did you say what you did?”

“Like I said, it’s a long story,” Jungkook replied. “I can explain it to you if you’re willing to listen. I’ll tell you everything, I promise. And if you don’t want to see me after this, I won’t bother you ever again.”

“How do I know that what you’re saying is the truth?” you asked, looking at Jungkook for any signs of deceit.

“You’ll just have to trust me.”

You almost laughed–how could you trust him so easily again? But you remembered the boy who  had slept by your bedside in the hospital, and the boy who acted like you were the most interesting thing in the world. The boy who had promised to sing to you.

“Fine, I’ll listen,” you breathed.

- Girl in Luv

Ok…this took to long. I kind of lost inspiration for this series, but it’s back now! You can expect more regular updates. The story’s drawing to a close…so what do think is going to happen? Also heads up: no posts tomorrow night. We’re going to prom!!! Thanks for reading guys! Ya girl’s gonna get turnt!

fragile ones

on ao3

title taken from 10am gare du nord by keaton henson. i love his music so much its just so….open and raw? it felt fitting for a fic like this, it just really works for late nights and emotional talks idk

i started this fic back at the end of august on a bad night and there isnt much plot to it just…speculation i guess. a character study of alya? but in this au?? im not sure. theres not much to it at all and its a little all over, but it was a fic i felt like i had to write

enjoy


Alya wakes up with her heart in her throat and her hands tearing at her hair. She groans and rests her forehead on her knees.

If only he’d shut up.

She checks the time. It’s only three, because of course it’s unreasonable to ask for a full night’s sleep. She stays where she is for a little while longer, curled up in a ball and hugging a pillow, letting her heart rate level out and her head slow its spin. When she stops feeling like she’ll throw up if she moves, she slides out of bed and pads into the bathroom.

Alya avoids the floorboards that creak and is careful to close the door softly, but it doesn’t really matter. After a few months, her family got used to her getting up at strange hours and wandering around the house. Once she stopped screaming, it was easier for them to sleep through her nightmares.

Keep reading

things my mother taught me:
my skin is winterkin and my blood is thick with hard-earned brilliance; my bones are diamonds trapped in human form and my heritage whispers to me every night when the sky turns graphite gray.
the things she failed to tell me:
your throat will clog with your own darkness and you will choke on your own power and you will die at the hand of a sunlit goddess the shape of your heart. she carries your death tucked beneath her blouse and that will be the only time you will allow someone to hold your life in their hands. and you will give it to her willingly just like everything else; just like the moon eventually steps aside to let the sun shine. her light will stay with you until the very end and you will thank her with blood-stained lips for she will teach you the meaning of true love, how it claws and rips at you like a hawk digging into the soft flesh of your galloping heart. love, my mother failed to tell me, is warm fingers and liquid sunlight; it’s stubborn fists and naked cheeks and hair the color of snow and tears.

too bad, i think, that it’s just one dying breath in the space of eternity.

—  stay in the shadows where it’s safe / aleksander
Period Pains

Peter Parker x Reader

Summary: Reader gets a visit from mother nature and Peter is there to save the day. 

Word Count: 1,251

Warnings: Language (as always), period pain (?).

A/N: I apologize for my lack of posts. School has been weighing me down for the past few weeks. I’ll try and upload something new this week if I have time. Please let me know what you guys think! I decided to try someone other than Bucky, lol. Feedback really helps me understand what you guys like. 


You know the day right before you get your period or a few days before and you totally veg out with unnecessary junk? That’s what you were currently doing. Sitting on the couch with a mini Ben and Jerry’s ice cream, oreo’s, candy, you name it. You tried working on some school work that was supposed to be due tomorrow, but for the life of you, you couldn’t keep a damn focus on anything. 

Plopping down in your bed full of fluffy, warm blankets, you doze off into a food coma. However, the next morning, you would regret it all.

Why?

Your period. 

Keep reading

A sorry shape

Anxiety was curled up on the couch in the common room listening to music. He was still processing the events of the day, being changed so much. He smiled a little and patted his bangs.

At least he had them back.

Anxiety was suddenly made aware of the three figures standing in the doorway, staring at him. They were smiling.

He lifted his headphones from his ears and dropped them around his neck, waiting for one of them to say something.

“So…,” Roman started “You were pretty adorable as Talyn, hm?”

“No. No, I’m done with shape-shifting right now.” Anxiety held his hands up defensively.

“Ooh! How about Terrance?” Patton clapped his hands.

“No.”

 “Joan?” Logan asked.

“No!”

“Okay, but you have to admit Valerie is fun!” Roman grinned.

“No! No shapeshifting!” Anxiety pushed back into the couch as the others approached, “No! Get back! I’m no-”

Anxiety stopped short, realizing his voice had changed. He looked down and recognized Joan’s outfit.

“Awe! Joan really suits you! And that eyeshadow!” Patton squealed.

“I must admit that I am inclined to agree.” Logan said, adjusting his glasses.

“I said no! How hard is that to understand!?” Anxiety demanded, standing up. He was now shorter than the others which only elicited more coos of endearment.

“Oh, alright! Besides, I preferred you at Talyn!” Roman said, flicking his wrist to change Anxiety’s form again.

Anxiety felt a wave of nausea, and panic bubbling in his gut. No, not his gut. This isn’t his body. This isn’t him. Who was he? Not this.

“G-guys. Stop.” He choked.

“Anxiety is right, afterall Valerie was a much better fit.” Logic smirked, changing Anxiety again at the nod of his head 

No. Nononononono. What’s going on?

They’re changing your form.

Why?

Because they like you better this way.

Not the regular way?

No, that version disgusts them. You disgust them.

I disgust them. Why else would they change me?

Now you’re getting it.

Anxiety tried to shove Logan aside to get to his room, to get away, but he was considerable smaller now. He was no longer any match to Logan.

“Guys! We’re forgetting Terrence!” Roman said excitedly, changing Anxiety again.

Anxiety couldn’t move. He couldn’t breathe. He had to sit down.

“Now? But they’re watching.

You’re going to faint.

No. No, I can make it.” Anxiety mumbled to himself, completely unaware he was speaking out loud now.

“Make it where?” Logan asked.

“I can’t, I can’t, I can’t, I can’t-” Anxiety tried to move by again, but Roman grabbed his wrists.

“Can’t what?”

“DON’T TOUCH ME!” Anxiety yelled and ripped his arms away. “Me? But not me. I’m not me. Who am I? Wh-who am I? Don’t touch me. This isn’t me. Who is this?” Anxiety continued to ramble as his eyes began to glaze over. He sank to the floor and put his head in his hands, mumbling to himself.

“What’s happening!?” Roman yelled worriedly, and flinched when Anxiety jumped, surprised by the sounds as if he had forgotten he wasn’t alone. Anxiety continued mumbling to himself like he hadn’t been interrupted, but now he was rocking.

“We set off a panic attack!” Logan tried to state calmly, but the panic was clinging to his words. “We need to calm him down!”

“How?!” Roman yelled again, pacing.

“Change him back!” Patton yelled, but was already doing it himself.

Anxiety felt a wave of familiarity. But why was it familiar? What’s happening?

He looked down

“…me?” he whispered.

“Yes! Yes, it’s you Anxiety!” Patton exclaimed dropping to the floor and after his breathing calmed Patton tried to pull Anxiety into a hug.

“Don’t touch me!” Anxiety snapped “It’s bad enough you don’t like me the way I am, you don’t also have to pity me!”

He tried to stand and storm off to his room, but ended up stumbling and crashing into Roman, who reacted by immediately steadying him.

“Let go of me.” Anxiety snarled, and pushed off of Roman’s chest.

Roman let go and Anxiety ran to his bedroom, trying to ignore the pricks of tears in his eyes.

He knew that they hated him. He just didn’t know the extent of it.

Imagine : Being Hope Mikaelson’s Twin and Kol blames the Family for constantly ignoring you (part 3)

I AM STILL CRYING ABOUT LOOSING THIS DAMN PART. SWEAR SOMEONE SAY SOMETHING BAD ABOUT THIS PART I WILL STOP WRITING THIS SERIES


Part 2 :  http://nightgirl250.tumblr.com/post/154484517050/imagine-being-hope-mikaelsons-twin-and-kol


Part 1 : http://nightgirl250.tumblr.com/post/153920428680/imagine-being-hope-mikaelsons-twin-and-kol?is_related_post=1



tagged queens: 

@thejulietfarciertlove @meggleangelo (tell me if you want to become one)



___________________________________________________________



Young!Reader x Uncle!Kol, Young!Reader x Father!Klaus, Young!Reader x Uncle!Elijah





I took a deep breath as the cold air pricked my skin. * why is it so fucking cold *. I pull my jacket closer to my body as the wind blows down the school hallway. “Hurry up Y/n,” my friends Jason and Kara say waiting for me at the gym door. We were heading to the gym since we have to go talk to our gym coach about the pacer test along with meet Hope. ^ Whoopee!^


“Slow down guys remember crouches,” I say tilting my head to the crutches in my hands. “Sorry Black Canary,” says Jason using my nicknames while scratching the back of his head as I finally catch up with them. “It’s fine to let’s just go before lunch ends I am hungry,” I said as we head into the gym when I remembered my plan. I still need to give Jason and Kara the goodbye letters. *Oh yeah soon I won’t see them for as long as they think we will. At least now I won’t be able to bother them anymore. Jason won’t have to wait for me at the end of the street so we could talk. And he could go out with Hope like he wanted to. Kara would have less competition when it comes to ballet tryouts. I am doing them a solid they don’t need to baby me anymore. No one will not even myself* I thought. *The voices will stop no more looking at the knife, in lust. Or wanting to kill someone, along with dreams of torture*. ^Yeah honey like we said your end is the end^. I felt like screaming as the Voice poisonous sound rings through me.


“Hey are you ok, ” asks Kara. “Yeah don’t worry about it I am just thinking about something,”.^More like hearing something, but don’t worry it will end soon just remember the goodbye^.

“Hey if you guys don’t see me for a while, remember that I love you guys ok, “I said not looking at them to see their faces.

“What do you mean are you going somewhere ?” Said Kara frantic, she was always caring for me but if you annoy her too long she will fight you in a heartbeat. “No nothing major just you know visiting some family for a while, ” I said as Jason goes to talk to out gym coach for us while we talk. ^family on the other side^

“But why all your family lives in New Orleans?”She asked. “No not all of them I have am Aunt who lives in Maryland,”I lie.^Ooohh lying you your best friend when you know it’s your last time to see her how pityful^

“How long is a while? Wait are you sure cause Hop–”


“Look it doesn’t matter what Hope says or doesn’t I am nor Hope nor will I ever be.  I am just going away for some time and to answer your how long question. I am not sure but I will come back ok?” I lie. *Thou I hate lying to them it is necessary for their own good. She doesn’t need to know, I am just a burden her parents don’t even like me as they prefer Hope. Once again Hope wins The Voices in my head win. But soon it won’t matter I am ending this soon maybe in the next life I will be happier. *


“Plus I am going cause of family issues something happened with Hope and they think it’s best I go away for a while. just for two weeks,“ I said then took out her letter. ” Here in two days open this letter if I don’t tell you everything that’s going on OK? But you gotta promise me that you won’t tell Jason, I will tell him later on in the day okay.“ She nodded. I wanted to tell her more. Tell her everything but I knew if I did then she would try to convince me not too which wouldn’t help anyone.


“Hey,” said Jason poking my cheek and breaking me from my thoughts. “Huh,” I turn to face then but both of then have confusion written on their face.“Sorry just thinking of when we are going for the trip,” I said acting excited.


“Are you sure?” said Kara death staring me in the eyes and poking my chest. “Yes, Kara I am 100% sure now stop poking me,” I said moving away from her so she nor Jason can poke me. Jason frowns while Kara fake cries. “Oh hey guys,” said Hope as she joins us. We haven’t talked ever since she came into my room last week, which I am grateful for but sadly she decided to hang out with Kara, and Jason. I don’t get how someone can be so fake. She acts like we never had a problem with each other in the first place.*^I do it’s just like how you’re being fake about killing yourself^ Ignoring the voice to best I can I focus on what it in front of me. Jason and Kara are laughing at some joke Hope said. *Jason, kara I am going to miss you two so much but this is for your own good you guys can’t be doing this to you guys, pulling you into my life no point punishing you guys for my sins and mistakes.* I thought.^Yet here you are still in their lives hurry up ^ 


“Yeah I  just a lot on my mind,” I said leaning onto him. Jason, Kara and I always had this kind of relationship. Always caring and supporting each other.  *It doesn’t matter now does it. It’s too later be thinking about that, not like things will get better or something.* I thought as we were about to enter the cafeteria when Kara was called for early dismissal.^finally your thinking like me so why don’t you finish it ^ I felt like another person was in the room whispering this in my ears, but guess what I am falling for it.

I pull Kara in for a hug, not a side hug like I normally do but a full one. I take in her scent as she wraps her arms around me. She smells like strawberries and banana. I felt happy in her arms as her body heat radiates onto me.I felt at peace, nothing could make me mad, or want to cry, the bad thoughts went away. I was at peace and happy, but like all good stuff, it must come to an end  "See you tomorrow,“ she said as we let go then ran off. I felt tears prick my eyes. “Come Canary time food,” Jason puts his arm around me as we went over to the lunch line.^Yeah get your last meal before you pass^ said Voice, might as well give it a name since it will with me till my end.


——————————-Time skip bros end of the school day ———————


I took a deep breath as I walk over to the outside bench with Jason, my crush, behind me. “Hey, are you OK?” He said as he places our stuff down and takes a seat. “ Yeah Just haven’t been getting the best sleep,” I sorta lie.^liar liar death on fire ^


The truth is that I try not to sleep at all and use coffee creamer to stay up planning my end and writing my goodbye letters. Half of my goodbyes are finished. And I already choose the outfit I am going to wear. Just cause I am going to die doesn’t mean I cannot be happy as I do it. But mostly it’s because at night I have nightmares and I wake up screaming which annoys the living hell out of everyone at home, one way to not annoy them is to not sleep ya know.


“So when do you want me to come over for Ms.Greene’s. Project ?”

“Oh right about that—”. ^You can’t cause I am going to kill myself ^ I shake my head trying to get those word out of my head.


“Let me guess I can’t cause of family issues and you cannot come to my house cause Your not allowed out the house for reasons your not telling me,” he said. I felt guilty for leaving him hanging so much lately. We have been best friends since pre-k. We used to play with the building blocks as Marcel would take us to the playground. I sigh as Jason rubs the back of his neck.”What is up with you ever since Kara and I have been hanging out with Hope and you got your leg hurt you have just been so distant


“Look Jason I know I normally tell you everything but honestly. I think I just need some space,” I said. I grew cold with every word I said to him. I am not sure if it was because of the cold but I knew it was most likely for the best. ^You’re going to die soon don’t make it harder for us ^ said Voice in my head.


“So are you still gonna come to my basketball game today after school right?” His eyes lighted. I  wanted to yes so I can see crush the  other team.“ No, I won’t I got to head to the Quarter house,” I said to him. His smile disappears from his face.


“B-but you always come to them so we can have Ice cream,” I take a deep breath .*I wish we could do that forever * I thought as I took his hand in mine  "Look Jason I know we always do that but I can’t this time —“


“Ahh  Y/n there you are.  ” I said Uncle Elijah and Hope. I quickly let go of Jason’s hand and put my hands on my crutches. * shoot I forgot Uncle Elijah was picking me and Hoe I mean Hope up* I thought as Jason picks up his books. I opened my mouth to talk him but he was already walking away. “I will finish Ms.Greene’s  project on my own. let you have some Space,” he spat out the words like daggers then disappeared in the distance between us.


I place my stuff in my backpack, slipped it on and went to Uncle Elijah and Hope beginning our trek to the house.


I pull out my iPod and headphones and start listening to ‘work out’ by j cole. He is one of Jason and I favorite singers. We walked together for thirty-five minutes before Uncle Elijah actually talks to me. Hope is on Uncle Elijah back since she got tired ten minutes ago from walking.

*honestly Uncle Elijah the Little shit can walk on her own  * I thought and continued walking thinking about Jason and I’s relationship if still even have one after today. ^what is there to think about it’s over and you ruined it ^ I felt my heart churn at her voice. *shut it voice*

———————————————————————————————————————-

It’s been two hours since we got home and so far, it’s just been Mom and sperm donner yelling at each other about something that is most likely about Hope or some ‘new enemy ’. I sigh as hear another vase slams my door again. *Uncle Elijah going to yell * I thought. At first, when they occurred I was scared out of my mind, but now I am used to it it doesn’t matter.


^Honestly, what is there for me to worry about. I am not gonna be here in the future so I am fine Right? Why don’t you just pick up a knife and slit your throat no one will notice your dead until the deed is done^. I hugged my pillow closer to my chest and pushed the hollow feeling into the back of my mind. I found these thoughts popping up in my head more often lately. Maybe it was bound to happen you know. ^So what are you gonna go^ said the voice.  

I get off of my bed and walk over to my closet, get into my good bye clothes (https://www.polyvore.com/my_good_bye/set?id=215314515), my wonder woman hat on top. I grab my birthday money and Uncle Elijah old phone which he let me have, doesn’t have a sim card but it still works, and the directions to place. I grab the rest of the letters I need to give and put them in my backpack. “Now the major problem getting out of this house,” I said until it finally hit me.


 I took off all of my bed sheets, which were a lot by the way, off from the bed then threw them out the window. I placed them in a way that they fall one on top of another. I took the pillow cases off of my pillows and threw them down as well. I tossed out my crutches. *I Hope I survive * I thought as I balance standing on the edge of the window. I pull the pillows to my chest and do the leap of faith from assassin’s creed, but it was kinda hard to do with my hurt leg. I groan as I hit the ground even though I made a pile it still hurt. I grabbed my crutches and struggled to get off of the blankets. Once that was over, head straight for Rousseau (Marcel and Cami’s bar). By the time I got there Cami’s shift was hadn’t begun yet thankfully. The room was full of people. I was about to take a seat when ” Y/n what are you doing here,“ said Marcel after I nearly have a heart attack. Thou would kill me it’s not the way I want to go.


 “Oh hey Marcel, how are you?” I said giving him a fake smile but I knew he wasn’t falling for it.“Nice try Y/n ” he said as we take a seat at a nearby table. “So mind telling me what you are doing here?” “I wanted to give this to you,” I said taking out the letters for him and Cami. “They are thank you letters for you and Cami. I wasn’t able to give Jason his either so can you give it to him? ,” I place them onto the table and slide it over to him. “I was hoping to see both of you here. but since Cami isn’t here can you please give this to her?” I query.


 He nods his head and takes the letters. I fight the tears and smile that threaten to break my heartless facade, but I couldn’t help but smirk at knowing those who I truly care about knowing how I feel about them. But as soon as it came it went.“So mind telling me what you are doing giving this to me,” he asked. *Oh Uncle Marcel even thou I didn’t say it a lot to you ‘I love you ’ you may not be blood but you are no water* I thought as I give him a smile. “No Uncle Marcel just a simple thank you letter were supposed to write and deliver one to those who you love,” I said getting up from the table and left Rousseau, leaving Marcel alone looking at the letters.


 _________________________time skip arrival death place_______________




“Finally” passing the entrance of the local indoor pool. No one was here other than me. I passed the locker area and went to the pool. *Huh the little shit is about to do it finally. Thought you were gonna plague the world some more. I don’t see why you are here still you made it this far let’s do it shall we* I wanted to fight the voice but I knew it was no choice. The reason I chose the pool was because of it the one place that no one would look for me. 


When I was young Jason and I would come here with Cassandra Winchester sometimes we all would just play on the not deep side of the pool, but we stopped once she left for a mission and never came back. I highly doubt Jason even remembers this place. No one else knows about this place since I never told anyone about it. The light from the water light up the entire room so it wasn’t dark. I didn’t take off my shoes or jewelry since they all had meant something to me. I walk over to the deep side of the pool that was 7ft. “Goodbye life,” I said then dropped into the water. 


The cold temperature pricked my skin but I didn’t let it bother me as I sank to the bottom. My vision was blurry but I wasn’t sure whether it was because of the water or lack of oxygen. I felt my body slowly sink close to the pools floor*Finally this is it. You free now you don’t have to burden others with your presence.* I thought as black spots blur my vision. I suddenly felt more tired than usual. *maybe a good rest* I slowly close my eyes and release the all the air in my lungs as darkness kills me.

_________Third POV at home_______________time past____________ _____________________________________________________________


No one notices how Y/n has jumped from her bedroom window over Klaus’s screaming. Kol rolls his eyes as his brother talks about how high and mighty he now that he is a hybrid. “Dear Brother Niklaus might you please stop screaming before Hope wakes up,” said Elijah Pouring himself a drink of whiskey. “Klaus opens his mouth to say more but nothing comes out. He storms out of the house slamming the door in his rage making Hope stir in her sleep. “Well that was dramatic,” said Hayley walking into the living room with a tea in her hand. “Has anyone ever told you that is how this family works,” said Cami sitting down next to her. “Cami doesn’t your shift start soon,” said Elijah, Cami chokes on her drink then runs out the room to get to work.


 “Mommmmyyyy!!!!!!” Screamed Hope, the Originals immediately run to her side. She was inside her sister’s room with a letter in her hand. Tears ran down her cheeks as Hayley comforts her child. “Hope what’s wrong?“Said, Elijah, while taking the letter out of her hands. He nearly passes out from what he reads.“There is one in everyone’s room” Hope stuttered holding onto her mother. Elijah hands the letter to Kol, who just stared dead at the letter noticing Y/n’s handwriting, Elijah walks out the room and quickly collects all the other letters.


 “Hope what happened?” said Kol trying not to be angry after reading Hope’s letter.


“Y/n is committing suicide,” she said.


 Everyone froze upon hearing this. That one of their loved ones was willing to take their own life and no one knew why or how she would scream in her pillow at night or how she tried not to sleep til the point she naturally has insomnia. “Why would she do that?” Asked Freya. 


“Why wouldn’t she, you always favor Hope more than her. You didn’t even notice that she was kidnapped,” said Kol glaring at him family “Brother do we—” “STOP BLOODY LYING. DO YOU EVEN REMEMBER HER MIDDLE NAME OR THE LAST TIME YOU LET HER CHOOSE FOR HER BIRTHDAY,” screamed Kol. “You ignore her cause she is human. Cause she isn’t as powerful as Hope. Yet you forget that you were once the same as her but at least we had someone who noticed and cared at least we had each other,” said Kol. “Rebekah,” he said pointing to her “ you have been begging for a human in this family and when we finally have one you ignore the girl”. Rebekah opens her mouth but no words come out. 


“Aaahh and the mother,” he said turning to Hayley. “You wondered about how you treated both of them so badly, but guess what you did even worse you only cared for one,” he spats. Hayley glares at Kol but knows deep down is words are completely right. She never once thought about what Y/n would want to do for her birthday or how she would drink coffee in the morning. “You people may not care for her but I do and I won’t let you people be the reason of her death,” said Kol, storming out the house. Everyone one froze upon hearing these words. The thought of Y/n finally ringing in their heads. Hope dries her her eyes and pulls her mom into a hug. 


The despair was too great that you could cut it with a knife. “I will begin a locator spell,” Freya walks out the door with Y/n’s necklace to begin the spell. Rebekah follows silently out of the house. “Elijah w–"Hayley opens her mouth to ask him a question when she already knows the answer. ‘Was Y/n ever treated like Hope’. They all knew the answer is ‘No’. “ Hope honey its time for bed, ” said Hayley.“ Uncle Elijah will look for Y/n and by tomorrow we will have her back I promise she will be back alive,” Hayley pulls hee daughter in for a hug, Elijah leaves the room but not after placing all the remaining letters on Y/n’s desk before leaving. Hope nods her head and gets ready for bed by herself for the first time in her life. Her mother asked if she needed help, but she denied it and continued on her own. "Mommy you should go find Y/n I will be fine,” Hayley nods and follows her request and leaves the house.

you turn away (like i’m not here at all)

this came out way faster than i expected and way longer than i planned but anyway, this is based on this video by @vp-dot-png so credit to them for the basis and thanks for letting me use it (also if you listen to the song from the video - ‘phone down’ by lost kings ft. emily warren) - it’s like 10x better). i really needed a distraction from my current main project so this was really fun to do

[read it on ao3]


Lance finds Keith sitting in the dark in the computer room, the harsh blue light of his tablet casting shadows across his face. He stands in the entryway for a minute, watching Keith tap insistently at the screen, his legs folded underneath him and his hair unruly. He’s still wearing his paladin armor. Lance sighs and tugs his jacket tighter around himself.

“Keith,” he says. There’s no response. “Keith.”

Keith doesn’t jump, just twists around to glance at him, his gaze sort of vacant. There are dark bags under his eyes, the boy having barely slept in weeks (a fact Lance can personally confirm), his cheeks are sunken, and his face is paler than usual. “Oh, hey,” he says absently, turning back to the tablet screen.

Folding his arms across his chest, Lance steps into the room and leans against the wall. The boy in front of him looks so very different from the one Lance knew. Thought he knew. There’s something off about this the boy here, something vague and distant, like his whole existence is blurring around the edges. Something’s missing, like that one puzzle piece you realize you lost only after you’ve completed the rest of the puzzle.

He knows what’s happened to Keith, what’s happened to all of them, and he gets it, he does. Loss does horrible things to people. But he wasn’t prepared for this, for how hard this would be. For how much things would change. For how much Keith would change.

(He thinks he’s probably changed quite a lot, too, having been thrust, yet again, into the role of protector. He’s used to taking care of people, but this is different.)

He’d expected it to be better, now that they at least have a lead on Shiro’s whereabouts. It’s not much, barely more than a rumor, but it’s still a lead. And yet, Keith is still obsessing, like he’s been doing for weeks.

Lance sighs again. “What are you even doing in here?”

“Working,” Keith replies shortly.”You should try it sometime.”

“You don’t have to be an ass, Keith,” Lance says levelly, forcing himself to keep his voice casual. Forcing himself to stay calm. “We’re just worried about you.”

Keith’s fingers still on the tablet, but he refuses to look at Lance. “Who’s ‘we’? You’re the only one bothering me right now.” He tucks a strand of hair behind his ear and his fingers go back to tap-tap-tapping.

Stop it, he thinks, wishing he had the courage to say it out loud. Stop treating me like I don’t mean anything to you.

“The others are worried about you, too,” he says instead, stepping towards Keith. “They just don’t have the energy to deal with your bullshit.”

“And I assume you do?” There’s a certain level of malice in Keith’s voice, a certain bite that used to be quite rare for Lance to hear, especially directed at him.

Whereas Lance is usually all bark and no bite, Keith has plenty of both and no qualms against using them.

“You know, Keith, I’m not sure I do,” Lance shoots back, and almost feels bad for it. But damn, maybe he isn’t up for this right now. Their last mission ended only hours ago, he hasn’t slept in forty-eight hours, and he hasn’t even bothered to eat yet. He’s tired, so very tired of living like this. He spends practically every minute of every day waiting for the other shoe to drop and it’s exhausting. “I just -”

Keith cuts him off, finally jerking around to glare at him. “You just what, Lance? Did you need something or are you just here to -”

“Would you stop?” Lance shouts, frustrated tears prickling in the corners of his eyes. “You’re acting like a goddamn brat, Keith, and it’s getting ridiculous.”

“Oh, fuck off, Lance,” Keith snaps back, running an angry hand through his hair.

“I’m worried about you!”

“So what, you think you’ll just give poor little Keith the ‘we care about you’ speech and earn your Good Samaritan points for the week? News flash, Lance, I don’t need your worry.”

Keith turns away from him again, and Lance can’t do anything but stare at him. Lance opens his mouth, closes it again. Clenches his hands into fists and buries his fingernails in his palms. Breathes in. Breathes out.

Says, “Look, Keith, I know you don’t want to hear anything I’ve got to say right now.” He ignores Keith’s not-so-subtle scoff. “But I can’t just sit here and watch you self-destruct.”

Keith doesn’t even respond.

Lance barrels on, gesturing wildly. “God, Keith, I wish I could leave you alone. I wish I could just walk away and let you fall apart, but I can’t! Because you’re falling apart and I’m trying to hold this goddamn team together! You’re not sleeping, you’re not eating, and I get it, Keith. Shiro’s gone and we’re all hurting.

“I know he’s important to you and I know you’ve lost him before and I know you’re in pain, but this is important, Keith. You’re gonna kill yourself if you keep up like this.” Lance is crying by now, hot, angry tears streaming down his face. And he aches, he fucking aches, because this has been going on for weeks. He’s always been good at taking care of other people, but he can’t take care of someone who’s not willing to let him.

“We need you, Keith,” Lance says, pleading, begging for Keith to give him something here. “I need you.”

And that’s it - that’s all he’s got. He’s poured his heart out, he’s given everything he has to this boy who won’t even look at him, and there are no more tricks up his sleeve.

But Keith still doesn’t even acknowledge him.

And Lance knows he’s being selfish, he does. He doesn’t mean to be - his biggest concern here is that Keith is okay, that the whole team is okay, but buried underneath that is his desire for Keith to just talk to him. It doesn’t have to be about Shiro or his feelings or anything like that; he just wishes they could go back to talking and laughing and making dumb inside jokes and just being together.

He wishes Keith would at least look him in the eyes.

“Are you even listening?”

Keith waves his hand dismissively and mutters, “Whatever,” and Lance can’t take any more of this.

Throwing caution to the wind, Lance marches forward, grabs Keith’s wrist, yanks him around, and smashes their lips together in a bruising kiss.

The last thing he sees before his eyes shut is Keith’s eyes widening in shock. The kiss tastes of salty tears and the bloodstains of their latest battle. Their noses bump together and their teeth clash, but Lance doesn’t care. He buries one hand in Keith’s hair, uses the other to tug Keith closer by the collar of his armor. Keith’s free hand hovers at Lance’s shoulder, and then the tablet clatters to the floor and his other hand comes to rest on Lance’s hip.

Lance feels something loosen in his chest, like he can finally breathe again.

Keith pulls away after a moment and Lance has to force himself not to follow.

They’re inches apart, both breathing heavily and staring at each other’s lips. And Lance says, “Can’t you just…take a break? Come to bed. We can talk, or - or not talk! Whatever you want, Keith.”

He’s finally getting somewhere, he thinks. Keith is looking at him, really looking at him, without a hint of the iciness Lance has grown used to. There’s no distance between them, right now. For the moment, they breathe the same air, exist in each other’s space.

Lance is only just thinking, I missed this, when Keith steps back.

Keith’s expression hardens and his eyes grow distant once again; he turns away, pulling his hair into a ponytail as he does, saying, “Lance, I don’t - look, can we talk about this later?”

Lance makes a strangled noise in the back of his throat. He’s been free-falling ever since this whole thing started, and Keith is supposed to be there to catch him.

Thing is, Keith is there. He just hasn’t noticed that Lance is falling.

With a noise somewhere between a sob and a laugh, Lance rakes his fingers through his hair, practically yanking strands out of his head. He should just let him go. Surely it would hurt less than this.

But his feet are moving before he can stop himself and he’s yelling before he even knows what he wants to say.

“What could be so goddamn important, Keith, that it can’t wait until the morning?” Keith turns to him in surprise, takes an almost automatic step backwards, effectively trapping himself between Lance and the table behind him. “We have a lead already, you can stop obsessing for five minutes! You’re scared and upset, I get that, but you can’t take it out on everyone else! On me.”

“I didn’t -”

“It doesn’t matter if you meant it, Keith!” Lance throws his hands up in frustration. Keith is looking at him like he’s the one who’s unrecognizable, even though it’s the other way around. “Shiro’s gone, but we’re still here. I’m right here and it’s like you’re looking through me.”

“Please, Keith,” Lance says softly, lacing his fingers through Keith’s and holding their hands up between the two of them. Keith’s eyes follow the movement, skirt over Lance’s face, and finally settle on a spot just above Lance’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry,” he says, and doesn’t sound very sorry at all. He sounds far away, even now. “You should go to bed.”

“Like you care about my wellbeing.”

“I do.” He says it so fiercely that Lance almost believes him. Keith bends to pick up his tablet, pulling his hand out of Lance’s, and when he stands back up, his shoulders are hunched. “I hear you, I do, I just - I can’t do this right now.”

“You’re hearing me -” Lance shakes his head in disbelief  “- but you’re still not listening.”

Keith scoffs and says tiredly, “I really don’t have time for this right now, Lance.”

Lance rubs at his eyes with his sleeve, sniffling, and thinks back to before. Before Shiro disappeared, before Keith started shutting him out, before all of this. He can see Keith’s bright smile, saved just for him, and he can hear Keith’s laugh, the unrestrained one that he only lets Lance hear, bubbling up in the confines of one of their bedrooms.

He stares at the collar of Keith’s armor  for a long moment. Closes his eyes. And gives up.

“Fine,” Lance says, lets his arms drop back to his sides. He blinks back a new wave of tears, sets his jaw, lifts his chin, and tries not to let his voice waver. “Let me know when you decide to stop treating me like something stuck on the bottom of your shoe.”

Despite himself, he can’t bring himself to move without giving Keith a chance to reply. When he doesn’t, Lance turns jerkily, unsteadily on his heel. He makes it halfway to the door before pausing.

He’s a little hysterical and more than a little pissed off when he calls, voice sing-songy and silky sweet, “Or, y’know, don’t! Whatever floats your boat, Keithy-boy!” He looks over his shoulder to find Keith leaning on the desk, tablet lying a few feet away from him, forgotten.

“I’m done,” he says to the back of Keith’s head and walks out of the room.

He doesn’t see Keith turn at the sound of the door opening, and he doesn’t hear Keith say his name as the door shuts.

Lance isn’t sure he would’ve looked back anyway.