is it a frog with a moustache

Hiveswap: The Theorizening

Having finished Hiveswap, there’s a lot of different things going through my head at once, thoughts, theories, characters, so I’ll try to not mix things together! That being said, as theories tend to be, Spoiler Warning under the cut! Also sadly I won’t be able to post images in it quite yet since they’re not too easily available around right now, will probably have to wait until some Youtube Video pops up with the gameplay/cutscenes. Without further ado!

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Enough - tom holland

I got asked to do a tom insecure imagine so I hope you like it ❤️

You sat with tom, your bestfriend of 3 year, in his apartment in Kingston London. It was your favourite place to be as it brought great memories and the couch you sat on was by far the comfiest one you’ve tried.
He was silent, too silent as he scrolled on his phone. You watched his face and for some reason it was turning sadder by the second while he continued to scroll through whatever app he was on, his other hand fiddling with the hem of his t-shirt. You nudged him a little and his eyes shot up to look at yours, he looked like he was about to cry but he quickly blinked fast, sniffed and smiled.

“Yeh?” He tried to sound cheery but you could tell something was wrong.

“What’s up buddy?” You asked pushing his hair back and giving him a faint smile. Your hand glided through his soft brown curls. He frowned knowing he couldn’t trick you, followed by a sigh. He handed you his phone and You began reading the comments on one of his insta posts, he had been getting hate lately and you both didn’t know why. Your eyes scanned the comments, each one worse than the rest.

“Lmao look at his ears fly away dumbo”

“So glad he got that mole removed ew”

“His mouth is weird, can’t get over those frogs memes 😂🐸”

“Is he not like really small? Why would they let him play Spider-Man? Ffs”

“Ew shave that moustache off now!!!”

(Actual comments I have seen on toms insta btw, disgusting people)

You heard a faint sniffle and saw tom tear up, your heart broke within this moment. Water stabbed at your eyes, it stung but you couldn’t let tom see it was something to be effected by. He pulled you in and held you tight.

“Why am I not good enough?” He mumbled into your ear. This is when you started to cry. Tom had just been through a rough break up and she didn’t give him a reason to why she left. You squeezed him tighter.

“No tom listen you are good enough! You are more than good, you are great and smart and loyal and an amazing dude. I swear that any girl would be lucky to have you cause of all those things and more! You are amazing tom and your ears are cute, your mole was adorable, you’re the perfect size for when I need hugs also I love your moustache and your mouth-” he cut off your ramblings with a kiss. You could taste the salty tears on his lips as you held onto him and deepened the kiss. You separated and he stared at you.

“You are perfect to me…” you finished. He smiled and hugged you so tightly.

“What did I do to deserve you darling?” He mumbled into your shoulder. You laughed

“you were yourself” you beamed at him before letting go and wiping away his tears with your thumbs.

@tomllholland @ya-boi-holland @marveloussebbystan @spidertransblog @marvelavengers456 @parkerbenjaminpeter @spidey-ish @spidey-mantom @peterxparkerx @weekend-writer

@percyprotectionnet: different house au

  • being in hufflepuff, as well as being a lovely blessing that comes with a great common room and a stylish yellow scarf, is a curse
  • people don’t take percy seriously
  • it’s like the creators of hogwarts made three houses: one for the brave, one for the ambitious, one for the intelligent, and then all the miscellaneous wotsits got thrown into hufflepuff
  • (they’re not even all nice! percy notes with disdain)
  • despite all his best efforts to boost house points and extended efforts to be kind to other houses, still, nobody seems to notice him - or any of the other hufflepuffs, really
  • it’s not that it bothers him (though it kind of does, because it robs them of the house cup every year, and he’d love for them to win)
  • (and fred and george and ron always take the piss)
  • to spite them, percy just works extra hard (he knows in his heart of hearts that it isn’t spiting anybody to be a kinder individual, especially out of the sight of said people he thinks he’s spiting, but… it’s the thought that counts?), doing his best to help out with all the new first years
  • half of them can’t even tie a tie and he spends most mornings teaching impromptu lessons on the windsor knot and making sure everybody has their shirt tucked in and gently tucking down flyaway hairs (the bedhead in hufflepuff house seems to be generally incredible in its disregard of gravity)
  • he’s taken over snack duty from tonks, too, and quickly memorises everybody’s favourite snacks and sweet-talks the house-elves who are, of course, more than happy to feed hufflepuff house
  • and, while it is his job to help lead the junior puffs around and to help them find their way, he surprisingly ends up with them following him almost all the time and asking him for help with homework or, strangely enough, life advice
  • percy doesn’t know anything about life advice, but he does his best, because they’ve asked for help, and so he’ll give it to them
  • he feels a large sense of sadness when he has to stop teaching the windsor knot because they all know it
  • quickly replaced by the joy of teaching them how to wear their scarf in as many different ways as possible!
  • percy’s winter catchphrase becomes “wrap up warm” because oh no he is not letting them out of the common room wearing that few layers it is bloody winter in scotland and it’s freezing 
  • he starts bringing hot chocolates in with the snack, levitating them along with them, and the first years just love it (especially when he gets them hot chocolate with marshmallows and cream
  • (he loves it when they get cream)
  • (especially when someone ends up with a whipped cream moustache) 
  • (so cute)
  • one of the first years falls in flying class, and he gathers the collective hufflepuff concern into co-ordinating efforts: he finds a group of arty puffs to make a card, he manages to find some chocolate frogs, he finds his stack of daily prophet papers and cuts out all the crosswords and sudokus he hasn’t done (entertainment is key in the hospital wing), etc. 
  • he finds someone who starts making a quilt, and though he has a feeling the student will be fine again by the time the quilt’s done, the effort is appreciated
  • because, he realises, that’s what being a hufflepuff is about
  • not the fame, not the glory, not even the recognition: the act of being kind, the power of friendship, and the reward is the smile on said student’s face when percy and co. arrive
  • it’s the studying with friends in the library and sneaking them chocolate brownies without madam pince noticing
  • and that quilt being finished… three months later
  • and everybody getting involved in painting a sign supporting the quidditch team and screaming their lungs hoarse
  • (percy, of course, can’t speak the next day) 
  • (he goddamn loves quidditch)
  • and waiting at the end of the year with baited breath for exam results and getting right in the middle of the traditional hufflepuff post-results group hug and loving being crushed because that’s what hogwarts is all about: not just the studying (which, of course, is his favourite thing), but the shared experience with other people
  • he could be an isaac newton and hole himself away, but he’s grown up a weasley and company is so important
  • and, of course, after the results come in and he’s congratulated or commiserated, he makes a sprint to find penelope 
  • he’s, of course, forgotten that he was meant to be spiting anyone in the first place
  • because all that’s happened is that he’s reaffirmed his house values, and why being in hufflepuff is quite possibly the best surprising thing that’s ever happened to him
Sweet Love (Queenie x Jacob)

This was inspired by @theatricalbarista ‘s fantastic idea that Queenie & Jacob married and made enchanted pastries and candies, and were the creators of the Chocolate Frog. I hope you don’t mind that I borrowed your idea! @qed221b it’s late but it’s here! @sozdanie-gryazi-eternal @funkzpiel @questionboxjuliet if you guys are interested :) 


It’s a little before dawn, but already there is the stirring of life in the kitchens of Kowalski bakery. The spacious kitchen smells of flour and jams and butter, and Jacob Kowalski is rolling out the dough whilst whistling a cheery tune, and a clear, sweet voice joins in. The moustached man quirks a smile at his bubbly wife, who is twisting and twirling dough into braids in the air, to be weaved into the crust of their famed apple strudel. Queenie Goldstein-Kowalski smiles brightly at her husband even as she sends the completed pastry to a rack filled with other baked goods to be sold once the bakery opens its doors. Business has been brisk lately, with more and more costumers flocking to the steadily growing bakery for a glimpse of the enchanting pastries Jacob makes, and she’s able to convince Jacob to buy a new suit in celebration.

They work quietly for several hours, the silence occasionally broken by tender words of “how are you doing honey” or “let me know if you’re getting tired, darlin’”. It’s a partnership in the best of sense, with Jacob working his magic to the mundane tasks of baking, turning plain dough into the enchanting silhouettes of magical creatures, while Queenie casts lilting spells that coax and nudge the plainest of pastries into gorgeous golden brown creations that taste of home. Queenie floats a freshly baked bear claw that is coated in melted sugar before Jacob, and his smile is wide as he takes a bite out of his wife’s creation, and she giggles girlishly at the patches of sugar left on Jacob’s trim moustache. The blonde watches as the portly man return to his work, brow furrowed in concentration as he pipes the cream into rows of cream puffs, and she thinks that this, surrounded by flour and laughter and stolen kisses in between, is her utopia. Jacob looks up to catch her bright eyes, brimming with love and affection, and he swears that he falls in love with his beautiful Queen all over again in that second. He blows a kiss to her, and white flour floats in the wake of his kiss, and Queenie thinks her No-Maj husband has his own magic.

Opening time is an hour away, and Queenie is helping Jacob with the remainder of the creature-shaped pastries, when she accidentally casts the wrong spell. Instead of turning the lovely golden brown of baked goods, the little Demiguise pastry seemingly comes to life, and turns its little head towards them. Queenie gasps while Jacob rubs his eyes, and the Demiguise returns to being a normal, inanimate, unbaked pastry. There’s a heartbeat of silence as the two stare at each other, and a grin grows on Queenie’s face as she catches tendrils of Jacob’s thoughts. “I know you’re thinking what I’m thinking, honey.” Jacob only nods wordlessly, and there’s a cheery beam on his face that she loves as he rolls his sleeves up higher. “Let’s get baking, darlin’.”

They don’t get the pastries animated that day, and people stream in and out of the shop the entire day, keeping the couple and their workers busy. Besides, Queenie doesn’t want Mr Graves to catch wind of her doing magic in front of the No-Majs; the Director may have mellowed somewhat since his rescue but rules are still rules. They close up the shop in the evening and lock themselves in their kitchen, ready to begin experimenting again. The hours roll by, and still they have little success. Queenie manages to get the pastries to move just a little, but the charms don’t stick, and the pastries go back to being just pastries. The night ends with a sigh, but a kiss on her cheek and sweet words of encouragement steel her resolve to give it a go again.

They have a breakthrough the next day, when Queenie is absent-mindedly twirling her wand and coming up with different charms whilst speaking to Jacob. She turns her head when Jacob fails to reply her, and she’s tickled to see his mouth open in a gape, pointing to the-. Oh. Oh. The Demiguise she’s experimenting on is walking. They wait with bated breath, and while the Demiguise does nothing but walk a short distance, turn and walk back, it doesn’t go back to being inanimate, and they’ve done it. Jacob whoops with glee and swings Queenie about, eliciting peals of laughter from her as she buries her head in the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent of flour and butter and cocoa and Jacob. He gently places her down, and pecks her nose, and she huffs because what kind of kiss is that honey? She kisses him on his lips, firm and gentle all at once, and he can taste strawberries and honey and ambrosia, and oh he can drown in her for all eternity.

Queenie marches up to Mr Graves’ office once she’s able to replicate the animating charm, and very politely, with a sweet smile on her pink lips, asks that she be given a permit to sell her enchanted pastries to the wizarding community. She sees his mouth open and catches the thought before it’s even voiced, and very resolutely says, “Yes Mr Graves, I want my Jacob involved as well. And I won’t take no for an answer, or you’ll not get those apple pies you love.” There’s an amused upturn to Percival’s lips, because really, Queenie is the one who needs his help. But he does love the Kowalskis’ apple pie, and he does have a soft spot for the blonde Legilimens, who treated him with nothing but kindness and warmth after his return to MACUSA. And so wordlessly, he signs off the form and, as a bit of a joke, hands Tina the form to process. The look on the older Goldstein’s face when she sees her baby sister wants to sell pastries that move is reason enough for Percival to get Queenie the license.

The permit is authorised and issued that very same day, and Percival personally hands it over to the couple when he visits their bakery later in the day. He’s somewhat bashful and red in the face when Queenie throws her arms around him and plants a wet kiss on his cheek, and though he recovers quickly with a gruff “you’re welcome”, there’s a soft twinkle in his eye when he tells Jacob to look after Queenie, because she’s a gem. He’s gone in a whirl of black, but the shop, and the Kowalskis’ hearts remain warm. “Hey Queen, take a look at this.” Jacob taps his wife on the shoulder as he opens the envelope that contains their permit, and Queenie’s blue eyes are wide as she reads the Director’s neat handwriting about their new shop just opposite to MACUSA, and that the rental and renovation works have been taken care of. There’s an extra large apple pie on Percival’s desk the next day, and his office smells like green apples for the rest of the day.

It’s hard work, maintaining two shops, but they make it work. Jacob and Queenie still make most of the pastries, although their more experienced employees at the first shop help lighten the load. They focus on their new shop now, which is glamoured so No-Majs only see an abandoned lot. The wizards and witches who frequent the bakery never cease to be enchanted by the charmingly moving creatures, who wave and walk and leap and even fly. Children often tug their parents by their hands to visit the bakery, and the couple take great pleasure in humouring their customers. Word spreads like wildfire, and each day, they close the bakery with racks and trays empty, save for crumbs. MACUSA employees are the most frequent customers, and it’s not an uncommon sight to see all these men and women in their trench coats and fedoras, munching on sugared Nifflers or Mooncalf buns with raisins for eyes. Newt, who is happily engaged to Tina, takes the opportunity to educate his fellow wizards and witches on the creatures these pastries are modelled after, and the children listen with rapt attention at the lanky man with wild gestures as he tells them about the ferocious Nundu who purrs like a kitten, or the gentle Mooncalves who stare at the moon with their eyes large as a brain*. Even Percival makes an appearance several times, along with Madame Picquery, and Queenie always saves the largest slice of apple pie for him, and a Demiguise pastry for her. It’s always interesting to see all the Aurors and their bosses casually feasting on buns and pastries whilst chatting and laughing. Whenever anyone has had a hard day, they go to the bakery where it’s warm and soft and there are kind words from the Kowalskis; it almost feels like home.

Over time, Queenie and Jacob begin to sell candies, as well as enchanted ones. Queenie somehow manages to enchant the candies to emit sound, and so there are bees that taste sour and buzz, and mice with whiskers that quiver and squeak and chitter. But the most popular treat they come up with, is a frog made of chocolate, that leaps away if you don’t grasp them tight. It’s become the darling of every wizarding child, and the horror of all parents because the chocolates do melt, and so a frog will hop away and disappear, but there will be a puddle of melted chocolate hiding in a corner somewhere. Long after the Kowalskis’ hair turn white, and their children have children, and so on and so forth, Chocolate Frogs, along with the Fizzing Whizbees and Ice Mice, remain a staple candy for the wizarding community, and an enterprising descendent of Jacob and Queenie comes up with the idea of trading cards that display famous witches and wizards, which would be included in each purple box of Chocolate Frog. And so, the first customer to buy the newly repackaged Chocolate Frog, opens the box to find a rare, limited edition card of Jacob Kowalski and Queenie Goldstein-Kowalski, founders of the Kowalski Bakery which is still open today in New York, on the street opposite the Woolworth Building.


*This hilarious comparison was provided by the very witty @questionboxjuliet

Imagine Giving Harry the Family He Deserves

Imagine 11-year-old Harry Potter, living in a cupboard under the stairs. One particularly stormy evening, there is a soft knocking at the door–there you stand, sopping wet and clutching a broomstick with a letter in hand, standing beside a bearded giant of a man.

“… I’m looking for Harry James Potter?”

The Dursleys try to deny his existence, but you see him peeking out from around the corner–you step right inside, shaking out your hair and holding out a hand for him to shake as Hagrid tucks his umbrella into his coat, fiddling with something in a pouch.

“C'mon, luv–I’ve got news for you.”

You flick your wand and procure a steaming pot of tea from seemingly nowhere, and the Durseys nearly have a fit–but you hold up a finger to shush them, and begin to explain.

Hagrid gives him the Hogwarts speech, of course–he’s a wizard, and the Boy Who Lived–that you are here to pick him up, and after seeing the state that his little living-hutch (if you can call it living) is in, he’ll never have to come back here again.

When you find a burn on Harry’s hand from the stove that looked like someone had smacked his hand down on top of it, you are livid.

When you see that Lily Potter’s son is living under a staircase, wearing old shabby clothes and not even celebrating his birthday, you almost hex Petunia for daring to treat a child that way. Her SISTER’S child.

You shut her up with a pointed sneer and turn back to him–you explain that you were a close friend of Lily’s–maybe you didn’t get along with James as well as you would have liked, but you adored Lily Evans–and you were named his Godmother, while Sirius was named Godfather.

You tell him that he’ll be staying with you–that he could have a new extended family, if he so chooses–an uncle with a scruffy blonde beard and eyes that twinkle when he smiles through his moustache, and scars from years of looking after magical creatures. A kooky great-aunt who wistfully recalls her days as a diviner, and insists to read the tarot cards of anyone who comes into her home over a pot of tea and some stale butter cookies. A rambunctious set of savant kid-cousins with shocks of raven-black hair and blue eyes, who spin the keys of their grand piano into glittering, golden music and have become quite adept at hiding frogs in unfortunate places.

You tell him of a little house by the bay on the island of Deenish in Ireland, with it’s little pub, and the antique shop, and an old Fisherman named Spike who swore he snogged a mermaid in his youth–a little sleepy wizarding town where he can stay with you when he isn’t at Hogwarts. He stares at you with eyes the size of saucers when you explain that you took so long to get here because you were in Romania studying dragons.

He barely takes ten minutes to pack all of his things as you tell him to hold on tight, and pack the two of you on your sputtery old broomstick–he marvels at the tiny little crooked cottage, where he has his very own room–it’s settled over your sister’s bar, so it’s a bit cramped, but he gets to decorate his bedroom however he wants, and there’s a large window overlooking the sea on one side.

He gets to grow up going back and forth between Hogwarts and a real home, with friends and family visiting year round–Hermione and Ron are invited to visit in reciprocation of his visits at the Burrow–the Order of the Phoenix occasionally has members sleeping on your couch, and your sister gets along a little too well with Tonks sometimes–Molly Weasley is always welcome in your kitchen, and Arthur will spend hours at a time perusing the muggle artifacts in Missy’s Antiques.

But above all else, Harry Potter has a home, and a family who loves him

(Submitted by bottled-jellyfish)

Master Post: Sherlock Personifics

Inspired by the conversation that produced this quote, I present, for your enjoyment, unusual ships and characters in the Sherlock Fandom.

I think Destinationtoast coined the term ‘personific,’ as in a fic that personifies something inanimate, and I really like it. I haven’t read most of these (yet), so I could be wrongly interpreting tags, but I reasoned that one would most likely find personifics via unusual ships and characters.

I manually searched likely corners of AO3. Please let me know if there are others you know of that I can add! Please heed tags. Many are crack, some are not, all look intriguing.

***

Sherlock/Boredom
Doctor, doctor by Meowbowwow

Sherlock/Deerstalker
I Heard It Through the Clothes Line by canolacrush

Sherlock/Drugs
Not Bored by LikeATeddyBear

Sherlock & Drugs
“The Fortress and The Mind Palace Rebuild” by AriadneVenegas

Sherlock/Enchanted Sex Toys
Love My Charms by DarkMetropolis

Sherlock/Food
What’s Your Recipe? by Doodled93

Sherlock/Frog
Prince Sherlock and the Frog by i_ship_an_armada

Sherlock/His Brain
Emergenz Noia by SupremeCommanderOfThisVessel

Sherlock/His Imagination
Gutted by kijakazibibi

Sherlock/Horse
Zeichenkohle by ThreePipeProblem (7percent)

Sherlock/John’s Moustache
The Moustache Maketh the Man by CopperBreeches

Sherlock/London
Into the Ocean by Nos

Sherlock & London
Over Ground and Under Ground by khorazir

Sherlock/Microscope
Envy, Through a Microscope by destinationtoast

Sherlock/Pillow
Feathers by Darmed

Sherlock/Riding Crop/Skull/Handcuffs
Possessions by wheresmywatson

Sherlock/Tea
Where It’s Always $18.95 (new and improved, with less angst!) by Iwantthatcoat

Sherlock/Tentacles
Squeeze by misanthropyray
Хватка by Oruga

Sherlock/Violin
An Audience by shiverelectric
Boston Marriage by pendrecarc

Sherlock/Wine Bottle
Botellon by TheOtherMaddHatter

Sherlock/The Work
You Are My Poetry by CeliaEquus

Sherlock & The World
Falling (no end in sight) by Rhyolight

***

John & The Army
The Birthday by AriadneVenegas

John & Clarinet
A Guide to Clarinets for the BBC Sherlock Fandom by JessamyGriffith

John & Family
The Birthday by AriadneVenegas

John/Gun
John Watson - RESPECT by JessamyGriffith

John/Jam (Jamjohn)
Twenty-two Portraits from a Cakecroft Tarot by Silvertounged

John/The Ladies
Areas of Expertise by Winter_of_our_Discontent

John/Magical Things
The Beast and the Harlot by Dirty_Corza

John/Patience
What’s Your Recipe? by Doodled93

John/Seasons
Four Lovers by orciny

John/Sherlock’s Purple Shirt Buttons
I Heard It Through the Clothes Line by canolacrush

John/Three Continents
John Watson - RESPECT by JessamyGriffith

John/Toast
Crunch by tweedisgood

***

Mycroft’s Umbrella/John’s Cane
Smitten by Faitour
Cane and Ella’s Love Song by dainochild

***

Mycroft/Cake (Cakecroft, Mycake)
50 Shades of Frosting by thordasgay
The 'A’ stands for 'Annoyed’ by kyaticlikestea
A Bit of Midnight by Nyxe
Cake by wowriley
Cakecroft
 by TheTimelordsConsultant
A Cake in Pink (221B) by 221BeeMine (mazzer)
Christmas at 221B by the_bonny_wordsmith
Crumbs by surrenderdammit
Death, Taxes, Rain, Dessert by corpsereviver2
Deflouring by orphan_account
The Distance by orphan_account
Just a spoonful of sugar.. by deductionist
MH/Cake by Aenonnymoose
Mycake by CaptainOfShips
Mystrade vs. Mycake vs. Umbrellacroft, Or: The things that Greg has to compete with by LadyLilyMalfoy
Of Cake and Men by HulkeyesBitch
Prompt: Mycroft ejaculates buttercream frosting. by ohvictor
Schrodinger’s Basket by chasingriver
Stories of the Holmes Family; A Fucking Terrifying Christmas by Sherlokicks
Talking cake by surrenderdammit
Thanks for everything! xxJim by thequeergiraffe
Thermoception by radio_silent
The Tragic Tale of Mycroft’s True Love: A Ficlet by Linnea_Bjornberg
Twenty-two Portraits from a Cakecroft Tarot
 by Silvertounged

Mycroft/England
The British Government by seerofsight

Mycroft/Food
A Most Murderous Case by Del (goddessdel)

Mycroft/Umbrella (Umbrellacroft)
The British Government by seerofsight
Death, Taxes, Rain, Dessert by corpsereviver2
Demise of an Umbrella by Consultingcrackaddicts (GodIPitytheViolins)
Goodbye, Old Friend (And Hello Again) by emsloe
Indulgent by Brynncognito
Mycroft Loves His Brolly by swtalmnd
My Dear Umbrella (Series) by DancingFish
Mystrade vs. Mycake vs. Umbrellacroft, Or: The things that Greg has to compete with by LadyLilyMalfoy
Nothing to Hide by swtalmnd [art]
Only a Slice of Cheesecake Left by SpiffyWordPlay

***

Moriarty/Food
What’s Your Recipe? by Doodled93

Moriarty/Gun
One of those days by Ebyru

Moriarty/His Mind
You Can’t Always Get What You Want by Hoodoo

Moriarty/Westwood
Cheeseballs by thoroughlysherlocked

***

Molly/Death
Small Matter of Miscommunication by Valerian

***

Cake (Anthropomorphic) (7 results)
[all are linked above in Cakecroft]

John Watson’s Cane (7 results)

Riding Crop - Character (1 result)

Skull (Character) (58 results)
includes The Skull (Sherlock)

Umbrella - Character (62 results)
includes Mycroft Holmes’ Umbrella

Violin - Character (21 results)
includes The Violin (Sherlock)