is having none of your shit today

alright food fuckers, I’d like to direct your attention to quite possibly the strangest piece of official sp merch

the fucking coloring book

this shit only got one printing and was sold at a single chain of theaters upon release

ok but there’s some ridiculous shit in here like

brenda ain’t having none of your bullshit today son

a fucking wordsearch

save him

the answer is fucking “eat me”

THIS SHIT’S SELF AWARE BITCHES

there’s even an entire fucking page with mostly accurate lyrics to the great beyond

below the cut are the rest of the pages, most of which consist of shots from the orgy along with some character pages and a few more connect the dots

Keep reading

Famous Romans as Dril Tweets
  • Livia: i pay good money to load my sons bag with treats, and if Erasmus Infowars Copfucker wants to devour them in the university library, so be it
  • Ovid: if youre one of the guys who blocked me on here, i Forgive you, and im ready for you to unblock me now.
  • Catullus: I TAKE BACK EVERY KIND THING I'VE SAID ABOUT THE GIRLS ON HERE ! SHALLOW AND CRUEL ! HEART LESS DEVILS ! MANIPULATING MY POSTS & TRICKING ME
  • The Gracchi Brothers: "FEAR IS USED 2 ENSLAVE THE MASSES," I SAID AS I RIPPED THE FUCKIN DECORATIVE CARDBOARD SKELETON OFF OF THE COMMUNITY CENTERS BULLETIN BOARD
  • Cicero: in the midst of jade helm 15 and high gas prices. a good boy looks to the stars and asks where have all the angels Gone ...............
  • Claudius: startling how im the only person on this site with an actual human soul. you would think the other guys on here have one, but no
  • Agrippina the Younger: "This Whole Thing Smacks Of Gender," i holler as i overturn my uncle's barbeque grill and turn the 4th of July into the 4th of Shit
  • Caligula: me: nobody has to get owned today. please, please put down the keyboard and step back 9 year old child: Fuck oyu
  • Julia Domna: measure to approve massive depressing statue in the center of town depicting an emaciated mayor carrying a boulder that says "My Sons" on it
  • Julius Caesar: dis charged from the army for doing memes too much
  • Augustus: blocked. blocked. blocked. youre all blocked. none of you are free of sin
  • Nero: the jduge orders me to take off my anonymous v mask & im wearing the joker makeup underneath it. everyone in the courtroom groans at my shit
  • Cornelia: THIngs other people like: being bastards, being Uniformly tasteless THINGS I Like: Being reasonably kind, and trying to help, when i can
  • Cato the Elder: ive never laughged at a piss joke. (sees how impressed everyone is, takes it one step further) in fact, ive never laughed before in my life.
Secret Love Song - Harry Styles Mini Series Part 9

Originally posted by pinkharold

Part 8

You weren’t exactly sure how you made it from the floor of the lobby to the bed in the hotel room, but that’s where you were. The last thing you remembered was walking through the crowd of fans and clutching your chest as you tried to breathe your way through an anxiety attack. 

And now, you were laying on the bed with a very worried boyfriend pacing around the room. 

“How did I-” You mumbled sitting up a bit. 

“Y/N! Oh my god, are you okay?” He said worried, but still keeping his distance. 

“I-I think so,” you whispered. “How did I get up here?” 

“I carried you up here and once you got your breathing under control you just fell asleep,” he whispered. 

“Oh, I uh… I do that sometimes,” you blushed. 

“Are you okay? Do you need to see a doctor?” He asked quickly sitting down on the bed. 

“No, no I’m okay now,” you said. “I just might be tired for a bit.” 

“I knew we should have gone the other way,” he sighed. 

“It’s my fault, I didn’t think it would be that bad,” you said. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” He sighed. 

“Yes, I’m fine,” you sighed. “I’m sorry you had to see that. I wish you hadn’t seen that.” 

“Why?” He asked confused. 

“Because now you’ve seen that you don’t have a normal girl for a girlfriend,” you sighed. “That night at the club, when you saw me having an attack, that was nothing compared to this and sometimes they’re worse than what I experienced today. Every single one of my exes, when they’ve seen me have an attack or I talk about my anxiety, they just brush it off like I want attention and then they end up breaking up me or cheating on me when it becomes too much for them,” you rolled your eyes. 

“Do you really think I would do that?” He asked with hurt in his voice. 

“No, but I’m sure everyone is talking about what happened and it’s going to be everywhere. Not only are people talking about the fact that you have a girlfriend now, but she’s also someone who can’t even walk through a crowd of people without freaking out to the point of exhaustion,” you mumbled. 

“Baby, none of that is your fault,” he whispered. “And I would never… I would never break up with you over it and I’m not going to brush it off. What I saw today scared the shit out of me and I was so worried about you.” 

“I’m sorry I scared you,” you whispered. “I didn’t exactly plan it,” you joked. 

“Are you seeing someone for it?” He asked. 

“I have in the past and I’m taking medication for it. Both of those help for the most part, but there are some things like crowds of people or feeling trapped that trigger me,” you said. 

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?” He sighed. 

“Because sometimes I’m ashamed of it,” you sighed. “People have this stigma around anxiety that it’s not real and we’re just wanting to attention and then you have people who pretend to have anxiety because they think it’s a cool trend to say that they have it. I mean everyone has a bit of anxiety in them, but when you have a disorder it’s to the extreme.” 

“I’m sorry that you felt like you couldn’t come to me,” he whispered. 

“It wasn’t that, I’m just used to not talking about it with people. My friends and family don’t really understand and they don’t usually care to either,” you shrugged. 

“Well, not with me,” he whispered. “You can talk to me about this or anything and I’ll be here to listen.” 

You smiled a bit. “Thank you,” you whispered laying your head on his shoulder. 

He kissed your head and wrapped his arms around you. “So, what do you want to do? We could order some dinner in and watch a movie or take a nice warm bath, whatever you’d like,” he smiled. 

“I think dinner and a nice relaxing bath would be great,” you smiled. “I’m afraid I’d fall asleep during the movie.” 

“You don’t have to stay up, love,” he whispered. “If you want to go to sleep, you can. I can fend for myself.”

“I know, but I don’t want to ruin our day any more than I already have,” you smiled. 

“You didn’t ruin it, baby,” he whispered. 

“Maybe not for you, but I did for myself,” you said. “And to be honest I’m quite used to it.” 

Harry sighed looking over at you before kissing your head again and grabbing the room service menu and calling in an order. 

**

You and Harry were now back in London. He had been busy over the last few days since your return from Paris due to appearances and rehearsals. You had also been busy. You had to pick up your final paycheck from the magazine and clean out your office, something Madison had already done for you and all that was left to get was a box of everything. 

You carried the box to your car and then headed back to your house. You brought the box into the spare room in your flat that you used as a make shift office. Something that would come in handy over these next few weeks as you looked for a job. 

You had been staring at your computer screen for what seemed like hours when the knock on your front door brought you back to reality. You pushed away from your desk and when to answer the door. 

“Finally!” Jess groaned pushing her way through the doorway with bags in her hand. 

“You’ve been waiting for like two minutes, if that,” you laughed shutting the door. 

“This shit is heavy,” she said putting the bags on the table. 

“Jesus, did you buy enough food for an army,” you laughed. 

“No, I just.. anyway, I’ve been looking forward to this day, so come get some food and then spill!” She smirked. 

“What is there to spill?” You asked taking a little bit of each food from the different containers. 

“Um, well, for one how about the fact that you’re dating Harry Styles and went on a romantic getaway with him,” she said with a mouthful. 

“It wasn’t a romantic getaway. He went for work and I just tagged along,” you said innocently. 

“So, you’re telling me that you two didn’t do anything romantic in the least bit?” She asked putting her hands on her hips. 

“I mean… there were some romantic moments, but nothing over the top,” you said. “But then again, most of that was probably because of everything that happened. Between people finding out about us and then my anxiety attack there were a few setbacks on any romantic plans he may have had.” 

“Shit, that sucks,” she sighed. “I saw a video of what happened. There wasn’t a lot to go on because once you were inside there wasn’t any footage of you, but I could tell you were freaking out.” 

“Yep,” you sighed. “It wasn’t my finest moment.” 

“How are you doing with that?” She asked. 

“I’m better now, although I have been staying away from my social media because I don’t need to see what happened,” you sighed. 

“How did Harry handle it?” She asked grabbing more food. 

“Surprisingly well,” you said. “After it happened, I was embarrassed and thought that maybe he’d be embarrassed too or that he’d be freaked out and break up with me.” 

“And I take it that didn’t happen?” She asked. 

“Not at all. He was very supportive and for the first time in a while, I feel like I have someone I can lean on about this. I know that I’ve always had you, but I’ve never had that in a boyfriend…” you whispered. 

“I’m really happy for you, Y/N,” she smiled. “I knew that you seemed different these past few weeks and I’m really glad to know that you’ve found someone that seems to treat you like you deserve.” 

“I am too,” you smiled. “I’ve never felt like this about anyone before and quite honestly it scares me because I don’t want to ever lose this feeling, but I’m enjoying every second of it.” 

“Speaking of enjoying…” she smirked. “Have you slept with him yet?” 

You don’t respond, just simply take a sip of your drink. 

“HOLY SHIT YOU HAVE!” She exclaimed. 

“We’re so not talking about this,” you said shaking your head. 

“Yes, we are! I can’t believe this. Do you realize how lucky you are? There are like millions of girls and I’m sure guys that would love to be able to say they’ve fucked Harry Styles and you get to do that!” She said. 

You rolled your eyes. “Your fangirl is showing, Jess.” 

“Sorry!” She groaned. 

You laughed. “But if you must know, the first time was in Paris,” you said. “So, we haven’t exactly been at it that long.” 

“AND YOU SAID PARIS WASN’T A ROMANTIC GETAWAY!” She shouted. 

“Oh my God,” you said. “Can you go an entire conversation without shouting at me?” You laughed. 

“You’ve known me your entire life, when have I ever been quiet?” She laughed. 

“True,” you giggled. 

“Anyway, all fangirling and joking aside, he seems like a real gent and I’m happy that you have someone like that,” she smiled. “Now, does he have any single friends?” 

“I think so,” you laughed. “I’ll have to ask him if any of them are up to par for you though.” 

“You’re the best,” she smirked. 

You laughed and finished your lunch. 

**

Later that day, you had another visitor, but this time it was your boyfriend. When you opened the door, you saw nothing but a huge bouquet of flowers and legs covered in black skinny jeans. 

“Um… “ You laughed. “Hi..” 

Harry poked his head to the side of the flowers and gave a little smile. “There’s my girl,” he said. 

You smiled moving to the side and letting him in. He put the flowers on the table before taking your hand and pulling you into his arms. “I’ve missed you,” he groaned. 

“I’ve missed you too,” you smiled wrapping your arms around his neck. 

“I only have a few weeks of promo once the album is out and then I’ll be all yours for a few more weeks before I have to worry with Dunkirk,” he smiled. 

“Hmm… And what will I do with you having all that time on our hands?” You smirked. 

“I can think of a few things that I’d love for you to do with me,” he joked. 

You laughed. “Anyway, dinner is almost ready. You can sit on the couch if you’d like. The remote to the tele is on the table and I can bring you some wine if you’d like?” 

“I’ll just grab some water,” he smiled. “Do you need any help?” 

“Nope, I’ve got everything,” you said. 

He nodded and grabbed some water before leaning against the counter. “So, how was your day?” He asked. 

“It was okay, Jess came over for lunch and we talked about you,” you laughed. 

“Let me guess, you told her how amazing I was and that your boyfriend is a sex god?” He joked. 

“Oh, yes, word for word,” you giggled. 

“I knew it,” he laughed. 

“She does want to know if you have any single friends,” you laughed. 

“A few,” he said. “Should we set up a double date soon?” 

“We could, but for now, let’s just focus on a date between us,” you smiled. 

After dinner, you and Harry made your way over to your living room. You had put on some music and you sat next to him with your legs on his lap and your head on his shoulder. Harry kissed your head and ran his hands up your legs. 

“How’s the job hunting go?” He asked. 

“It’s not,” you sighed. “I’ve been looking all day, but nothing.” 

“Have you thought about starting your own website and just posting things that you want to post about?” He asked. “I know it’s not really a paycheck sort of thing, but it might help with finding something.” 

“I have thought about it actually,” you said. 

“Then you should do it,” he smiled. “And I really think you should maybe have lunch with sister and she can help you.” 

“I know you’ve mentioned it before, but do you really think she’d help me?” You asked. 

“Yes, you’re my girlfriend,” he smiled. 

“I don’t want her to help me just because I’m your girlfriend though,” you said. 

“Well, I mean it wouldn’t be just because of that, but part of the reason,” he said. “Besides she’s been hounding me to meet you already.” 

“Are we to that step yet?” You asked. 

“I’m fine with it, but I want to make sure you are too,” he said. “Because if you meet my sister just so you know Mum will also want to meet you.” 

You nodded. “I’m okay with it if you’re okay with it,” you smiled. “But I think we’ve had enough talking…” you smirked putting your cup of tea on the table and then turning around to straddle him. 

“More than enough,” he smirked putting his hands on your hips. 

You smiled leaning down to kiss him. You two started off with little pecks and smiles before taking it a little further. Your hands were in his hair while his were running up and down your back as he deepened the kiss. 

He pulled away from your lips and made his way down your neck. You tilted your head to the side and felt his hands inching up under the hem of your blouse. 

You smirked pulling away from him and putting your hands up in the air. With a smirk on his lips, he pulled off your top and ran his hands over the newly naked skin. 

“God, you’re so hot,” he mumbled taking your head in his hands and kissing you deeply again. 

While you were still kissing him, you started to pull on his t-shirt, but his arms were in the way. You groaned and pulled away. 

“Sorry, love,” he laughed removing his hands from your face and letting you take off his shirt. 

You threw the black cotton fabric to the floor and ran your hands over his chest and wrapping your arms around his shoulders. “As much as I love this couch, it’s not exactly the best place to continue this, so we should probably head to my bedroom,” you smirked. 

“Don’t mind if we do,” he smirked standing up and throwing you over his shoulder before practically running to your room. 

**

The next morning, you wake up to Harry bringing in a tray of food to your room. You laughed sitting up and wrapping the bed sheet around your naked body. 

“What’s this?” You asked. 

“Just wanted to do something nice for my beautiful girlfriend so I thought I make us some breakfast in bed. I’ve got veggie omelets, toast, fruit and some juice,” he said. 

You smiled sitting up against the headboard. Harry sat next to you and you both got your plate and started eating. 

“Oh, yeah, you definitely get the boyfriend of the year award for this,” you joked. 

He laughed. “I’m glad you think so,” he smiled. 

“So, do you anything to do today?” You asked. 

“I do actually,” he said. “I’ve got the music video shoot today.” 

“Oh, wow,” you said. “That’s great.” 

“Yeah. We’re filming it in Scotland,” he said. 

“That’s amazing. I love it there,” you smiled. 

“Do you want to come with me?” He asked. “We’re just going up for the day.” 

“Are you sure you want me to be there?” You asked. “I mean I don’t want to be in the way.” 

“Baby, you wouldn’t be in the way,” he smiled. 

“Well, okay, but only because I just want to go to Scotland,” you joked. 

“Rude!” He said dramatically. “I’m quite hurt, baby.” 

“You’ll live,” you giggled. 

He laughed and grabbed a strawberry off your plate. 

“Hey!” You whined. “That’s mine!” 

“You’ll live,” he mocked. 

“You’re such an ass,” you laughed. 

“What was that? You love my ass?” He smirked. 

You rolled your eyes. “I’m going to take a shower,” you said getting up from the bed and wrapping the sheets around you. 

“No, come back,” he whined reaching for you. “We still have a bit before we have to be at the airport.” 

“I need to get ready,” you laughed. 

“So, come back here,” he whined pulling on the sheet. “And why are you covering yourself up, there’s no need for that.” 

“Maybe I like a little modesty every now and again,” you said. 

“There was no modesty last night when you were riding my-” he smirked. 

“Do not finish that sentence,” you said putting your hand over his mouth. 

He laughed behind your hand before you removed it from his face. You were close enough now that he was able to wrap his arms around you and pull you back onto the bed. 

“We can cuddle for another half hour and then we can start getting ready,” he nodded wrapping his arms around you. 

You laughed when his hands found their way to cupping your chest under the sheet and you rolled your eyes. “Cuddling huh?” You said. 

“Yes, cuddling,” he smirked kissing your shoulders. 

You shook your head knowing that this kind of cuddling was for sure going to lead somewhere else and the two of you would more than likely be late to the airport. 

And late you were. 

Jealous

Pairing: Jared Kleinman x reader

Words: 365

Warnings: None?

Requested by anonymous: could you write prompt 714 with jared?

Prompt: 714. “Wait a minute… Are you jealous?”

A/N: Today was pretty shit but I said i’d upload yesterday so i hope it’s decent enough??? I’ll upload more today that’ll be better to make up for this ugh it’s just so short but I have no more ideas i’m sorry ((I also added BMC because i’m trash rip sorry))

Cool air blew against you and Michael as the two of you chat idly in the courtyard of your school. You’d been close friends for a long time, knowing each other for 7 years.

In the middle of your conversation, you noticed Michael staring at something behind.

“What?” You wondered, still looking at him.

“Isn’t that Jared Kleinman over there?” Swiftly, you spun around, spotting Jared looking at the two of you from across the small courtyard.

“Yeah, he’s cool.” You muttered, a slight smile spreading on your face.

“But why’s he staring at us?” Michael inquired, confused.

“Huh. I’ll go ask.” You jumped up, noticing his gaze quickly swift in the opposite direction.

“What’s up?” It took him a moment to turn back around, cheeks flushed.

“Hey, uh, nothing.” He muttered casually, resting his head on his hand.

“Soooo why were you staring at me and Michael?” A laugh almost escaped you when you saw him tense up the slightest bit.

“I don’t know.” He shrugged. “You two looked cute together, I guess.”

Suddenly, you burst out laughing. Jared thought you were dating Michael!

“What?” His voice cut you out of your own disbelief.

“Jared,” You stopped, calming down a bit. “Michael’s gay.”

“Oh.” Was all that came from him.

You began laughing more when Jared’s face reddened once more, then realization hit you.

“Wait a minute… Were you jealous?” You were awestruck.

He sat there, frozen for moment before speaking up quietly.

“No…”

“You were! Oh my god, you were jealous of Michael!” You hadn’t realized how loud you had been until Jared shushed you, redder than ever before.

Quickly you turned to see Michael, who overheard the whole conversation, doubling over laughing.

I Don’t Get It- Cole Fluff

Request:  an imagine where the reader also joins the riverdale cast and everyone is really kind to her and they get along well but cole is kind of distant and cold because he’s developed a crush but she’s spending lots of time with kj and cole gets jealous and she doesn’t get his behaviour

Warnings: Mild language

Notes: None :)
_____________________________________________________

*YOUR P.O.V*

We’re about a month into filming the new show, ‘Riverdale’, and everyone gets along well - that is, everyone except, Cole and I. I don’t know what’s with him, I mean he’s okay and friendly to everyone else, but when it comes to me, it’s like he shits down and reserves himself. I honestly do take offence to it, but wouldn’t you?

“K.J!”, I laughed and jump on his back. He stumbles a little but regains his balance, laughing in the mean time. 

“Well hello to you too”

“We have a scene today”

“Ooh really? Yay!”, he says and starts running around on set, with me still on his back. 

“Coolee”, K.J laughs as we goes pass him. Cole’s smile immediately disappeared off his face when saw me. 

Originally posted by betty-and-jughead

“Cole? What’s up mate?”, K.J asked, noticing his smile fading as well. 

“Uh, nothing. Just got a headache suddenly”

“It’s because I’m here isn’t it?”, I finally point out. Cole sighs and shakes his head, before excusing himself to ’get a drink of water’. 

“Seriously, what’s his problem?”, I ask K.J, jumping off his back. 

“I honestly don’t know. He’s fine with everyone else - but you”.

“I know right! I don’t really know what to do, I mean, I don’t get it. Like, why is he nice and friendly to everyone but me? I don’t understand”, I sigh.

*COLE’S P.O.V*

I stood behind the wall, listening in to the conversation that K.J and Y/n had. God, her voice sounded like angels. I shake my head, i know I’m ‘supposed’ to hate her, but truth is, I’ve developed feelings for her and I don’t know how to get out of this mess. Maybe I should go talk to her? That’s K.J always tells me. He’s the only one who knows about my feelings for Y/n. I take a deep breath and come out from behind the wall.

“Look who’s back!”, K.J laughs, slightly staring at Y/n, who shifts uncomfortably when she notices me. 

“Y/n, can I talk to you for a minute? It’s about the script”

“Ugh, yeah sure”, she responds, getting very skeptical and weary of me. We walk in complete silence to somewhere quite; where no one was around. 

“So, what’s up with the script?”, she asks, breaking the silence. My heart beats faster, and I ball my fists it then relax them; it was a nervous habit. 

“Ugh, nothing. I actually wanted to apologise for being a dick to you. I… I have developed some… feelings towards you and -”

“Wait, what? Why were you being a complete fucking asshole then?”

“Because I’m jealous of K.J”, I say, looking down at my shoes and waited for her response. 

Originally posted by jonesjughead

“Why?”

“You guys are really close and I just wish that maybe, one day, we could be like that?”, I rub the back of my neck as I look at her. 

His One and Only / Jace Wayland

Words: 1961
Masterlist
Request
Clarifications 

“I think you’re thinking too much into it,” Alec answers, leaning against your headboard. “I would bet my life that Jace is not going to breaking up with you. Do you have any idea how much he loves you?”

You couldn’t help but sigh, “Then how do you explain it?” you growl, falling back against your bed so you were looking up at the ceiling-finally stopping your pacing.

Alec shrugs, toying with the edge of your pillow. “I honestly don’t know (Y/N),” he admits. “But what I do know,” he continues after rolling his eyes at your weak attempt of a glare, “is that Jace loves you more than anything. He has for years. You know him better than anyone, do you really think he’s going to break up with you?”

Rolling on to your side, your face morphs into annoyance, “No I don’t” you tell him sarcastically. “I’m just contemplating that my boyfriend is leaving me after a week of avoiding me for the hell of it.”

“No need to be snappy,” Alec counters. 

You throw your arms over your face and release a scream, “I’m sorry,” you apologise. “It’s just…I don’t know what to do! He’s never been this distant with me before and I don’t like it.”

“Clearly.”

“Now is so not the time for your commentary.”

“Isn’t that why you dragged me in here in the first place?”

You were not amused, “No, Alec,” you groan, less annoyed with him and more with the fact that he hadn’t relieved you stress. “I dragged you in here, as you so graciously put it, to try and get answers out of you.”

“What a great friend you are.”

Your head snaps towards him with a scowl etched in your expression, “If you’re not going to help then just leave.”

Alec threw his head back against the headboard and sluggishly pushed himself off the bed, “I’ll go talk to him.”

Your expression immediately brightens, “Thank you, Alec,” you squeal, launching yourself at him, causing him to go off balance as he halfheartedly catches you in his arms. “You’re the best,” you whisper, wrapping your arms around him tightly. 

“Whatever,” he mumbles, but he returns the gesture and holds you against his chest. 

“Now go on,” you encourage, pulling out of the embrace and ushering him out of the room. “Go work your magic and come back here and spill everything.”

You shut the door before Alec could say or do anything else. You move back to your bed and sit on the edge, taking a deep breath . 

“Oh,” you mumble, clutching your chest, “what if-” 

You felt a sudden wave of anxiety come back as you picture your friend coming back with a sullen expression, having to deliver the message that you already suspected. 

The thought of Jace breaking up with you makes your eyes water. The two of you had been through so much, so many ups and downs. You and Jace had fought hard for one another, for your relationship…and the thought of all that being ended with a few simple words made you feel as if all of that was insignificant to him. 

You were cut out of your thoughts as Izzy barges into your room, “Are you ready for-” Seeing your vulnerable state, the girl immediately melts. She pushes your door shut and rushes over to you. “What’s wrong?” she demands, in full protective mode. Her arm winds around your waist and she lets your head rest on her shoulder. 

“Jace.”

“What did he do?” the girl scowls, holding you tighter.

You lift your head so you could look at her, “I think he’s going to break up with me.”

The black haired girl’s eyes dart around your face, looking for any sign that your words were untruthful. “No,” she says, shaking her head. “That is not possible.”

“On the rare occasions that he’s actually slept in this room the past few weeks: he came to bed once I had already fell alseep-and you know how hard that is for me when he’s not beside me-and he left in the morning before I woke. He tries his hardest to avoid training with me, there’s no smiles from across the room, no surprise visits at lunch, no conversations-Izzy, Jace and I haven’t had a proper conversation in ages. You can’t tell me you haven’t noticed it.”

“I mean…I just thought…He wouldn’t break up with you,” she states firmly. “You know he loves you.”

“Does he?” you ask. “He’s been distant for over a month and he’s been avoiding me for a week now.”

“You haven’t spoken to him about this?” she questions, her gaze dropping to the floor.

“I’ve tried,” you frown, “but like I said, we haven’t had an actual conversation for a while, he always has some excuse. A bad one. He never could lie to me,” you mumble thoughtful. 

“No,” Isabelle agrees, “he couldn’t.” The two girls sit quietly for a while, the silence being broken when the dark haired girl speaks again, “I know his behaviour’s been weird…but there has to be some other explanation. I can’t believe that Jace would ever break up with you. You mean everything to him.”

“I guess not anymore,” you reply glumly. 


The day had ended and you were getting ready for bed. Izzy had left with the intention of finding out what was going on-the Lightwood siblings both on a mission to find answers for you since Jace wouldn’t speak to you. 

You slip under the covers and pull the blankets up to your chin, you rest an arm under your pillow and stare at the empty space beside you.

Sighing, you roll over so your back was to the space you wish was filled with the man you love. 

Falling asleep for once came easy, having tired yourself out with all the stress. Your eyes shoot open at the feeling of the bed being dipped from the weight of someone getting into it.

“Why do you bother?” you ask quietly, closing your eyes once more. “There are plenty of other beds, I’m sure.”

Jace sighs and you can feel him shifting his weight. “None of them would have you,” he answers just as quietly. 

You roll your eyes, “Don’t do that,” you growl, your back still to him. “You can’t just refuse to talk to me and avoid me and make me worry for weeks and then just say shit like that.”

“I’m sorry,” he tells you, the regret and sincerity laced in his tone makes you frown. 

“For what?”

“Alec and Izzy payed me a visit today,” he says. “Though I’m sure you knew that,” the smile in his voice was unmistakable. “Can you please look at me?” he requests.

You shake your head, “I can’t.”

“(Y/N)-”

“No. If I look at you I’ll cry or hit you or push out out of bed. Maybe all three.”

You hear Jace move behind you and you can’t help but jump as his hand reaches out and moves the locks of hair that had fallen, behind your ear. When done, his hand hovers slightly before he pulls it away. 

You felt your breath catch in your throat and it was almost a reflex to turn around and face him.

The room was not completely dark. The window bore no curtains and the moonlight was shining through and bright enough to make out his features. 

Jace was close enough that you could feel his breath hit your skin, he offers you a smile that you had fallen in love with so many years ago. 

The moment you close your eyes, his fingers were tracing your skin. Over your cheeks, around your lips, down your neck. “Are you going to finally do it?”

“I think so,” he mumbles. Your eyes open and find his already locked on you, his expression softens as your eyes fill with tears. His arm slides under the covers and he grips your hip. “I’m not breaking up with you,” he whispers. 

Your surprise makes him smile.

His hand slowly moves under the edge of your shirt so it was resting on your waist, the coldness of his skin makes you shiver.

“I don’t understand,” you tell him.

“I know and I’m so sorry.” His eyes squeeze shut, “I was being stupid and I didn’t realise how much I was hurting you.”

“Why were you ignoring me then?” you ask.

“I was worried.”

“You were worried,” you repeat, irritation filling your face. “Do you have any idea what I was going through?”

“I’m so sorry,” he whispers again.

“Why were you worried?” you finally ask, both out of curiosity and concern.

His nervous expression surprises you, “I was worried if you would say yes.”

“Say yes too…” you encourage him to continue. 

“Say yes to marrying me.”

You don’t say anything, pursing your lips you remain completely silent. The room had fallen quiet and it seemed as if the silence would go on forever.

Then taking Jace by surprise, your hand shoots out and hits him in the chest. Multiple times. “You’re so stupid!” you yell causing him to flinch, you continue to hit him. “Why would I ever say no?” Jace doesn’t stop you, only tightens his grip on your waist, and you finally calm down after a few seconds. 

“I didn’t mean to hurt you. It is never my intention to hurt you. I love you so, so much. Sometimes it hurts how much I love you. I’ve never felt so much emotion for anything, for anyone.”

“You’re stupid,” she mumbles, avoiding his eye. “I don’t think you even know how worried I was. I thought you were going to leave me.”

Jace pushes himself forward, so he was even closer to you, “Never. I would never leave you. You know I would do practically anything for you, but even if you asked me to leave…I think that’s the one thing in this world that I couldn’t do.”

“Did the others know?”

He shakes his head, “They didn’t. But they came to me today demanding answers…that’s when they found out.”

“That’s why they didn’t come back at all.”

“They wouldn’t have been able to keep it from you.”

(Y/N) pushes Jace gently so he was on his back, she shifts so she was resting her head on his chest. “I’m sorry for hitting you,” you whisper, pressing a kiss to the skin you now assumed was red. 

“I deserved it,” he replies, wrapping both arms around you. 

You both lie there for a while, neither of you speaking. The silence breaks with a single word. 

“Yes.”

“Hmm?” Jace mumbles, looking down at you.

You move your head so your chin was resting on his chest and you could look into his eyes. “I’ll marry you.”

Jace beams and rolls you both over so you were beneath him, placing kisses all over your face. Your giggles fill the room and Jace finally stops and peers down at you with a smile. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” you say, matching his expression.

An indescribable amount of shock fills his face, “The ring!”

Rolling your eyes, you clutch his arms-preventing him from moving. “That can wait until tomorrow. Stay,” you insist. “Please.”

When you were both lying back down with your arms wound around one another and legs entwined, Jace releases a content sigh.

You place a soft kiss against his lips before finding a comfortable position. “Just so you know,” you begin, your voice already laced with sleep, “if you ever scare me like that again-I’m going to set Izzy on you again.” His laughter was the last thing you heard as your eyes closed and you drifted off to sleep. 

Dating Tate Would Include...

(Post Death)

  • Meeting in the murder house. That should be the basis of this whole thing. Be careful.
  • He would literally be like a pet waiting for you to get home every day.
  • “You’re home! I waited for you. What did you do today? Are you hungry? I made you some food…”
  • Lots of cuddling
  • Tate is the little spoon. Practically always
  • Music listening.
  • “Here, listen to this. None of that new shit.” “Oh my god, you are an old man, Tate.”
  • Him literally just sitting around watching you as you go about your day, doing work, chores. etc.
  • He is an actual cat?? (including the evil personality)
  • Very insecure so you’d have to constantly reassure him he’s amazing
  • Dirty talk all the time
  • Sex everywhere
  • Halloween becomes the only holiday you care about. Going to movies, places, traveling to places that you can go and come home in one day.
  • He’s kinda overbearing.
  • Super protective, even the mailman is kinda freaked out to talk to you tbh
  • “Tate, leave him alone.” “What?” [cue shit eating grin]
  • Sarcastic jokes, teasing constantly just to get a reaction out of you
  • So much sex
  • Dealing with Tate’s split personality
  • Being afraid of who he is, but standing up to him. This makes him snap out of it but he feels guilty every time.
  • Lots of apologizing.
  • Makeup sex.
  • Making love.
  • Keeping each other sane while living with the other ghosts
  • Tate introducing you to Nora
  • Nora thinking of you as the daughter she never had
  • Tate calming you down if the other ghosts make you start to question yourself and your morality
  • Hiding from everyone else together, listening to each other’s heartbeats
  • Knowing you’re complete with each other
  • Sorry, but….. Tate doesn’t age…. He tries to kill you so that you’ll be together forever. Make with that what you will.
2

You were at the mall, flying solo since none of your friends had today off, but no sweat.

You were headed to the food court when some mountain bumped into you and knocked you down.

‘Oh shit.’ you groaned as you processed the fact that you were indeed on the ground now.

‘Oh damn, my bad, let me help you up.’

You look up at the mountain of dude in front of you.

‘You good, I wasn’t looking, I obviously would have seen you if I was.’ you said as you took his hand and got up.

You looked up at the guy and really took him in, he was hot. Like covered in tattoos, blonde, lanky and sharp featured.

‘So…where are your parents?’ he asked.

‘What?’ you asked before you realized the situation.

This guy is like six something, you are below five foot, wearing a panda hoodie.

‘Right my parents…I left them upstairs, wanna walk me back to them?’ you said innocently.

‘Uh, yeah sure.’ he said.

You both walked toward the escalator.

You looked closer and something bugged you.

‘You look so damn familiar, its driving me nuts. Maybe high school, friend of a friend, Facebook or something?’ you said as you squinted at him.

‘Who knows.’ he smiled.

You walked and lead him into a certain shop.

‘This is a sex shop, tell me your parents aren’t in here.’ he said with wide eyes.

‘You are either really high or really slow.’ you said as you removed the hoodie and revealed a fully developed chest and tight black crop top.

‘I’m twenty one you genius.’ you laughed.

He seemed to get it and began laughing.

‘Shit, my bad, in my defense you don’t look it.’ he laughed.

‘I know, anyway my point is proven, go on about your business guy with the familiar face.’ you said.

You turned and headed deeper into the store looking around.

‘Well since we’re both here, together we might as well walk around. Talk a little bit, maybe try out some of this store’s product.’ he grinned.

‘Tell me your name first.’ you said.

‘Call me Kells.’

‘Kells? I guess I could say that in bed.’ you said as you took his arm.

‘What’s your name?’ Kells asked.

‘(Y/N).’ you answer as you and he headed toward the condom aisle.

‘I guess I could say that in bed, now what should we use? Ribbed for your pleasure, ultra thin, or extra sensitive?’

‘Just the usual, that way we can get the ultra sensitive lube, trust me its better for everyone involved.’ you said.

‘Alright, I’ll go pay.’ he said as he grabbed the things and headed to the counter.

‘That was Machine Gun Kelly.’ you said.

Whatever Works

A/N: This was a request for one where Spencer and the reader truly can’t stand each other, but makeout every time they see each other. They said “Like Passive-Aggressive Partnership but without losing the passive aggressiveness.”  The fact that someone is asking for a variation on a story I wrote is actually kind of awesome. XD @coveofmemories

                                                              —-

This was a weird fucking arrangement the two of you had. Whatever. It worked for you. After working together fairly often over the past couple of years, two things were very obvious. You and Spencer Reid couldn’t stand each other. And you also had the hots for each other.

Months ago, he’d been rambling on and on about what the unsub was doing to the victims, trying in vain to get you to let out some emotion. It bothered him that you blocked yourself off from feeling in order to do this job. Anyway, he’d been talking and talking and talking and all you wanted for him to do was shut up, so you’d grabbed his face in your hands and crushed your lips into his, which led to the two of up against the wall of drawers, with his heated hands running over your cool skin, as his lips traveled the length of your neck. 

Since that day, you’d said next to nothing regarding what happened. But it kept happening. Each and every time he walked in, you’d tell him whatever he need to know and then you’d end up, in some way, shape or form, heavily making out in your office, tongues tasting each other as nails dug into warm, soft flesh. 

Neither of you really had time for relationships given how busy your jobs were. Plus, even if you had time, the two of you would drive each other nuts. You were too alike for a relationship between you to ever work. You’d butt heads too much. It had almost become a joke, with you saying until next time as you fixed his collar before he’s walk out the door. Day or not, your arrangement remained the same.

It was 2 o’clock in the afternoon and he was on his way to go over a couple of victims they were investigating during the course of an equivocal death investigation. They were trying to see if they died of heart attacks or if there was something more sinister at play, and from the looks of it there was. “Hello, Dr. Reid,” you said unenthusiastically as he entered the room without even knocking. That had been a blowout fight. He did that all the time, scaring the living piss out of you because he couldn’t have the forethought to knock. “How are you today?”

“Do you actually care, or should we just cut to the chase?” he snapped back. “I’m not one for formalities as you know.”

“Neither am I, so yes, let’s cut the shit and get to it,” you said, lifting the sheets over each victim’s feet. “There is a small puncture wound between the first and second toes of all your victims. I ran a tox screen, and as I suspected, the results were positive for heroin.” The thing was that none of these men looked like they were regular heroin users. If they were, they’d weigh less. Their skin would be drawn and cracked. Their eyes sunken. None of them had shown sides of any of that, so they’d likely been murdered, rather than having overdosed themselves. 

“Wonderful,” he said, slapping his hands over his eyes and dramatically sliding them down his face. The BAU had had some pretty hefty cases lately, and he was tired. All of you were. “So we have another murderer on the loose. When is this going to end?”

“If it ends, you’re out of a job, doctor.”

“At this point in my life, I think I’d be okay with that,” he replied, as both of you took your coats off. This had become the routine - disrobe slightly so you had easier access to each other. Reaching out, he grabbed the side of your neck, bringing you toward him and grazing his lips over the muscles in your neck. He always started there, because it worked to get you hot under the collar in a matter of minutes. Your hands gripped tighter around his neck as he lifted you up onto your desk, ripping the buttons of your shirt open and raking his teeth over your chest.

“What am I supposed to cover myself with now?” you asked hotly, although you couldn’t care too much when he had his mouth running over your overheated skin. 

As he flattened his tongue and brought it up the length of your collarbone, you moaned, your hands tangling in his hair and tugging it backward. “Wear a jacket,” he quipped. “Just shut up for two seconds.” You were about to respond - maybe tell him to go fuck himself - when he swallowed your words, his tongue delving into your mouth and coaxing it into a sensual dance. “You talk too much.”

“If that isn’t the pot calling the kettle black,” you replied, the sneer seeping out of every part of you. He went to open his mouth again, come back at you with something else because he always had to have the last word. “Who’s talking too much now?”

Hopping off the table, you pushed him across the room until he hit the empty examination table, sitting down and pulling you into his lap. You ground down into his lap, wanting to rid yourselves of the barriers between you. But it never went any further than this. That would require feelings neither of you wanted to have. As he’d done before, you pulled open the buttons of his shirt, and bit down, bringing forth a hiss from his throat. But he didn’t pull you away, so you did it again, making sure to leave them in spots he could cover up again. Last thing you both needed was for one of your superiors to question the nature of this relationship or whatever the fuck you wanted to call it. “Give me your tongue,” you growled, biting his lower lip before sucking his tongue into your mouth.

“I don’t take orders from you,” he mumbled as he did what you said anyway. “You’re not the boss of me.”

“As long as you have this,” you said, grazing your hand over his member through his pants, “and I have this, I am the boss of you.” Just as things were about to get heated again, and maybe even go further than they had before, you heard a knock at the door. It was your intern. “Fuck.”

“Goddammit,” he groaned quietly, running his tongue over your lips as he refastened his buttons. Again, his collar had gotten fucked up by the intensity of  it all, so you pulled it to the sides, flattening it with your palms before pulling his bottom lip between your teeth one last time for now. 

“Until next time,” you smirked, pushing the hair out of his eyes before he walked toward the door. 

“Until next time,” he repeated, wiping the lipstick off of his own lips. “Pain in the ass.”

“Shithead.”

caught | isaiah jesus

you and isaiah get caught having sex on john’s desk by john and he tells everyone at a family meeting

send requests here and prompt lists are here

Originally posted by bonniebirdsgifcentre

“Isaiah, hurry up.” You moaned, grabbing the back of his neck and pulling his lips to yours.  

“It’s fine babe. Calm down.” His speed quickened. The desk was shaking and although you was trying to be quiet, moans were most certainly to be heard throughout the shop. Luckily for the two of you, no one was around. At least that’s what you thought.  

“If anyone comes – “ You were cut off by Isaiah kissing you.  

“Seriously, shut the fuck up.” He breathed out.  

You nodded and let yourself relax, enjoying the moment while you could. Panic was running through your body, but it added to the adrenaline. It wasn’t your intention to have sex with Isaiah on John’s desk, but it all happened so quickly that you didn’t have time to go anywhere else.  

“I’m sure I’ve just heard the door close.” You breath was all over the place but you managed to get the words out.  

“Y/N seriously you’re just – “

“What the fuck?”  John asked, covering his eyes as he stood awkwardly in the door way.  

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Early TT seemed like a nightmare in general. Is this why Noah is so isolated now? Also I think probably the worst early TT moment was the parents scene, I don't know if they were your actual folks but their acting wasn't that good and it really broke the immersion for me.

If I could redo it all, I would omit that episode and give the information to viewers in some other way. I was an emerging filmmaker at the time with little real film or acting experience, my parents had none. The truth is that true Slenderverse immersion died long ago, about the time when MH advertised their DVD on an in-game account, and now the training wheels are off; you have to suspend your disbelief willingly and get through the early shit to truly appreciate the refined art I, and many others, create today.

Spencer Reid Headcanons

having some writers block so figured I’d make this to get myself hyped. feel free to share your thoughts on these/add yours!!


1. He tastes like toothpaste and coffee and a hint of vanilla lip balm. Always.

2. He hates reading to people. I know this is super popular in fics, but I can’t see it. I imagine he’d get hella pissed that his mouth can’t move at the speed his eyes can. I feel like it’d be painfully slow for him

3. But reading from memory? Oh hell yeah. You could tell him your favorite book and he’d go out, read it, and be able to recite entire chapters for you. Sign him the fuck up for that shit.

4. combining these because they are generally shared by the fandom as a whole- he’s bi as all get out, probably on the ace spectrum, and definitely autistic.

5.  He can’t snap. Like he can make the motion with his fingers but there’s basically no sound. And it frustrates him to no end even though he has no real need to snap ever in his life. It just pisses him off that he can’t make the snap noise

6. He’s secretly really proud (no matter how humble he acts) of his ability to play instruments due to his knowledge of mathematics. Like he can sit down at a piano or with a guitar and just play. He’s not perfect but he feels really giddy that he has ‘talent’ 

7. He never sweats. Like it just doesn’t happen. He’s a scientific miracle who never sweats and no one understands it

8. He’s definitely the kind of guy who forgets to dress for the weather but also forgets to actually feel the weather. Just like he never sweats, he’s also rarely cold. So in summer he’ll wear five thousand layers of sweaters and not blink an eye. But come winter and he puts on an tank top type thing he usually only wears under his dress shirts for a run to the store and has no idea that it’s actually snowing.

9. He loves brushing his hair and having it played with. You bet your ass he owns like five brushes and twenty combs even though he never uses them when he’s getting ready in the morning, only before bed or when he’s about to shower because he’s shy about it.

10. He has tons of classical music cds (because he refuses to get a computer to listen to music on bc he’s an old man) but if you search deep into his stacks and stacks of Mozart shit, he totally has one rock album. It’s classic rock - the kind everyone raves about being “the good stuff, none of the crap we hear today” (which he doesn’t at all buy into) - and he has no idea why he bought it. He just did it on impulse and listened to literally the first five seconds before stopping. He’s never touched it again but inside he’s dying to listen to more.

11. Art confuses him. He knows all the terms and styles and names but if you take him to an art museum he’s just be like ??? why do people look at this for hours?? what is this supposed to be? Specifically abstract art. It makes zero sense to him how some of that stuff can be so valuable when it seems so random. He can appreciate it’s beauty and it’s not like it bores him but in the end he’s just ???

12. Ever noticed how even though he seems to read and watch films in tons of languages, he always lets Prentiss translate on cases? At first I thought he probably just reads them and isn’t comfortable with pronunciation, but no - for example, do y’all remember when he offered to take JJ to a foreign language film festival and give her whispered translations the whole time? (yes, it’s specific, I know, but it happened alright) So why, you may ask, would this lil baby let Prentiss “I’m pretty rusty but I guess I’ll try” translate when he knows full well he could do it fluently? A- he’s tired of being the know it all B- Prentiss is more social anyways C- he loves seeing his friends succeed !!!!!!! and mentally cheers her on as she roughly phrases things

13. Has glow in the dark star stickers on his ceiling because he’s a grown ass man and you can’t stop him 

14. In school he probably had some really hot teachers that he totally had crushes on. He was super embarrassed because for one thing he was even younger than the usual student, but also just discovering his sexuality. And Mr. Smith or whatever would hand his A+ paper back and it would say ‘Amazing work yet again, Spencer!’ and he’d have no idea why it made him blush so hard

15. I bet some of his teachers would start out the year praising him constantly in order to prove to the class that he totally deserves it but eventually they’d realize their compliments were getting him beat up double time. So then they’d stop being nice in class despite still giving him good grades and he’d go through a crisis like ?my only friends don’t like me anymore??? what did i do??? but when the teacher explains themselves he goes home and cries because it’s so nice and he never realized that the teacher actually cared about him, and didn’t just appreciate the the fact that he studied

16. But aside from these really nice teachers I bet he also had really egotistical teachers that despised him. Even when he was less knowledgeable then they were, he was still genuinely the smartest + cleverest person in the room and some adults just can’t handle that. They’d harass him for answering questions and give him bad grades saying that ‘these details were excessive’ and tell him to ‘stay on topic’ and ‘stop showing off’ and it would hurt him so so badly. Like the one asset he thinks he has is his mind and to have people bash him for it is just devastating to him

17. He hums like a maniac. Loves humming. Any time he’s alone, he’s fucking humming. Never not permin humming

18. Doesn’t wash his hair as often as he should. No real reason behind this one I just feel like he probably forgets and brushes it aside and just can’t bring himself to care all that much. Especially if he’s sad. Not that he doesn’t shower or has bad hygiene overall he just like. doesn’t always wash his hair. He brushes it constantly but shampooing isn’t really a priority to him. I know this is unpopular because we all want to think of his hair as soft and fragrant but listen. He’s got greasy hair sometimes and you’re lying if you say this isn’t you every once in a while

19. Fluffy blankets are his shit. He likes to wrap them around himself wearing nothing but sweatpants and just sit. Just sit in his little cocoon and enjoy the warmth and fluff and softness against his skin. This is where his magical no-sweat power comes in handy because he can do this in the thick of summer and still have a good ass time

20. Even though he doesn’t believe in it, he reads his horoscope in the newspaper religiously. He has no excuse and could ramble on about how astrology is not only a pseudo-science but all of it’s actual astronomy roots are outdated and most of the info used is proven wrong blah blah blah…. but he loves it. He would never admit it but if his horoscope tells him Tuesday is the day to follow his instincts he’ll sure as hell take the initiative on a case

I will probably add to this later, and please feel free to send me yours! I’m always down to discuss Spencer Reid.

The Missing PotO Scene

I love Madame Giry, I think she’s a reserved badass when it comes to the play. Think about it: hiding a deformed dude in the basement of your workplace, being a single parent, being a foster parent on top of that, and having a ballet troupe to direct. That’s a lot of stress on just one woman.

So, where’s the missing scene in Phantom of the Opera, right after the chandelier drops and kills who knows how many people? You know, the scene where Giry finally gets fed up with covering for Erik’s ass? The one where she walks right up, points her cane at him, and screams: “I am having NONE of your Opera Ghost shit today!”