the aos people keep saying the next pod is going to be rewarding for long time fans and i’m over here like “ok so does that mean we’ll get the team eating dinner together? having movie nights? going grocery shopping? getting cute houses? fitzsimmons getting married?”
but i’m guessing that’s probably Not what they mean.
The Type of Coming Out I Rarely See Portrayed in the Media
So mostly when I see coming out scenes on TV or in shows, it’s usually one of two extremes: “very accepting” or “disowned”.
So seeing these as the only two outcomes as a teen didn’t prepare me for the realities of coming out to my straight family and friends.
My parents still loved me, but one interrogated me to try and find the exact date I realized I was into girls. The other one woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me how much worse my life was going to be since I was a black gay woman. My dad tried to make me doubt my sexuality by saying things like “well, why can’t you just be friends with them? it’s the same thing.” My mom made my sexuality all about her for three years with this delightful phrase “oh, you’re never going to get married and I won’t have any grandchildren” and she would ignore me when I would respond with “I still want to get married and have kids”. Three years later, she finally accepted it when she said, “you really think you’re gay, don’t you?”
The worst part of it was that both my parents had gay friends, so that was equally confusing for me as a gay teen. It wasn’t until I got older when I realized that there are people who are “okay” with gay people existing as long as it isn’t their kids.
And that is only a small portion of what the media fails to show. Microaggressions that are invisible to everybody else because as long as your friends and family didn’t abandon you everyone seems to think that’s all it takes to be supportive.
My friends reacted in a various amount of ways. I decided to tell m acquaintances first and make my way to my closest friends. It worked until I told my best guy friend who then told most of our friends, and then my close friends were mad at me for not telling them first and the fact that I lied to them about it every time they asked me. Pretty much it spread through school faster than I anticipated, and I was frustrated that I wasn’t able to tell my closest friends directly. But no, I had to explain myself to them and answer the question “did you ever have a crush on any of us”.
When I got older, my tolerance for the double standard bullshit went away. I had these two friends I would hang out and we would always talk about dating and sex stuff, but one day I wanted to talk about a woman I liked, and my friend straight up said “I don’t want to hear about that” and then she went right on to talking about how she gave a guy a blowjob in the backseat of the car. When I complained to my dad, he accused me of injecting too much gay into the conversation even when I pointed out that I wasn’t allowed to talk about a crush but my friend could talk about her sex life. (Years later, he finally understood when he saw his gay coworker using gender neutral pronouns when referring to his partner around other people but feeling perfectly fine using “he/him” pronouns in front of my dad. His exact words were, “I had no idea how much self-editing you and other gay people do when you talk.”)
Then those same two friends refused to go any gay clubs with me but then expected me to always want to go to straight clubs with them, so they just stopped inviting me. Well, once they talked about going to a club without me and with some other girl in a FB group conversation that I was in. The same friends who weren’t than interested in me talking about woman accused me of pulling away from them or shutting down whenever they talked about men. It never even occurred to them that I was hurt because they isolated me.
I no longer speak to or talk to either one. I have them as FB friends, but we do not chat at all, and I’m fine with that.
One of my other close friends tried the “well, if you want to have sex with a strap-on it’s basically the same thing”. My response was, “I want boobs attached to the strap-on, not a ball sac”. She got the point, and I was rewarded with laughter because my response was fucking funny.
And the whole time I was going through this, I kept telling myself that I was lucky because my friends and family still loved me, even though it still felt awful. I thought it was okay because I hadn’t been disowned or shunned. I didn’t realize there’s a whole middle section where people are ignorant and “accepting” at the same time.
receiving a very rude letter of your ex on the mail saying that he is going to
get married. You see yourself not knowing what to do, you can just let it go or
accept the help of your best friend and pretend he is your boyfriend.
I know it’s been forever! I’m sorry!! A lot has been going on, I’m getting married this weekend and I believe we will be getting internet this week or next week…I’m hoping to post right when we get Internet…more then likely will have some post next week! So keep your eyes peeled. I love you all and I hope to be back very very soon!! ❤
Wow i missed a lot, so when did you propose to Motality?
I didn’t!! why everyone keep thinking that. I just say if I was going to get married it be in an old church. why everyone think I’m going to marry motility *logic puts his head in his hands he is as red as a tomato at this point*
48. Who is your role model? This is hard because I have so many! As far as runners go, my old teammate and training bud @peanutbutta-runna because she is amazing and incredible and is the ultimate lil dream chaser. Another huge role model of mine is @oatsnjen, she is just an amazing person and her videos have changed my life and helped me so much. I strive to be like her. Lastly, my parents! They’re the best people I know and are so selfless too. They have given me the most amazing life.
49. What was the last compliment you received? My boyfriend told me he liked a piece of writing I wrote in my journal and then shared with him!
55. What is your dream job? I’m not sure yet! Something with writing. Although I do love my current job I have now, working with people with disabilities.
75. Are you going to change your name when you get married? Hmm, it’s hard to say. On the off chance someone is crazy enough to marry me, I probably will change my name… maybe not though. IDK who knows!!!!
So my sister is getting married this summer and it means that there’s a lot of contacting that both sides of the family are doing. Both sides have to contact their friends and families and colleagues and see who is going to the wedding.
It’s gonna be real exciting and all that and then I was thinking of the day I get married. But then I realized that even if I have full intentions of getting married someday, it wasn’t going to be the kind of wedding that I imagined or would expect.
Only my immediate family (mom, dad, sister) knows I’m queer-identifying (or gay, to put it simply) and anyone else (parents’ friends, cousins, etc.) who doesn’t have me on Facebook or Instagram has no idea or suspects but was never really confirmed. So, if I were to ever get married, I’m 90% sure that none of my parents would ever invite their friends and/or family members to my wedding because it’s just a lot to say that:
I’m getting married, and
I’m going to have a gay wedding.
That’s just a lot to unpack, am I right? lol Anyway, just coming to that realization was quite saddening because then I’ll never have a wedding that is up to the level of my sister’s based on numbers alone, let alone predicting the political climate in America and knowing whether my right to even get married gets taken away or not.
after watching the force awakens with my family i couldnt hold my silence any longer. after my dad said kylo ren was stupid and ugly i stood up and said “rey and kylo are going to get married and bring balance to the force!” and then my dad was all quiet and said “are you telling me … you’re a reylo?” and i nodded, tears streaming down my face. he turned away from me and said “pack your things. by sunrise, i don’t want to see you in my house” i knew the anti reylos were toxic but i didn’t know it would go like this. so much for tolerance
real talk tho, hearing alec say “i always knew i couldn’t have what i wanted” fucked me up??? like he actually said that. it’s canon. he knew. he always knew and he just assumed he would have to push it down and ‘fulfill his duty’ and marry a female shadowhunter and have children with her and i’m just. my heart is so heavy for that little boy
but now here he is tho right? saying that on a date with his new boyfriend he’s literally. he changed it! he met magnus and he realized for the first time in his life that things could be different. and now he’s dating this beautiful man and is going to get to slowly fall in love with him and one day they’re going to get married and have kids together and it’s everything to me i’m
I still can’t believe that these two dorks imported from Transformers Prime are the 2nd pair of canon robots husbands in the IDW comics. They aren’t just window dressing either! There’s a story behind the vain, high speed racer that married a guy who is considered inferior by his whole culture. I want to see it play out so badly!
Knockout and Breakdown are precious and deserve all the love.