is faking dumb

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The Saturday morning cartoon The Fake AH Crew!! 

A friendly gang of criminals set out to have a good time of fun in the nice city of Los Santos. This totally kids-friendly show takes the crew out on heists, things to do’s and simle play time to goof around. No swearing, no killing each other, no mugging, no raging anger and hatred and no one ever fucks up and ruins everything for the 104th time like somekind of asshole. nope. none at all.

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everything is going wrong, but we’re so happy
playlist full of songs that make you feel like you’re in a movie

8tracks - spotify | unedited image source

you know what’s really fucking easy to say? Reyna’s feelings towards Jason and Percy were about what she thought she was supposed to feel towards boys that everyone said were attractive and nice and likeable and that she was spending a lot of time with. But then she realized they weren’t feelings of romantic attraction, just her trying to navigate her lack of feelings. Boom. Fixed. Done. Lesbian Reyna has arrived.

don’t 👏 call 👏 yourself 👏 a 👏stranger 👏 things 👏 fan 👏 if 👏 you’ve 👏 never 👏 been 👏 involved 👏in 👏 a 👏 government 👏 conspiracy 👏

Every Bullet Counts, FAHC penthouse edition, the rules being as follows

  • nerf guns only
    • extremely modified, retrofitted nerf guns. as long as they shoot nerf darts and not actually bullets the shit checks out, heaven help us.
    • You start out with 2. you want more you’ll have to fucking work for it. or die. you die and you can get two more.
    • Actually i lied, Nerf Guns and a Melee Weapon of your choice
      • nothing actually made of metal
      • no garrote wire
      • nothing that can explode
      • nothing that will without a doubt cause internal bleeding of any serious variety
      • nothing that will reasonably causing internal bleeding of any serious variety
      • foam swords. jack bought foam swords for everyone.
      • Caleb is still notified
  • you get hit with a dart and it sticks you are DEAD and they will know
    • Who’s ‘they’?, Michael asks. Geoff shrugs. “you’ll know them when you get caught trying to not be fucking dead.”
    • death lasts for 5 minutes, go back to your room with your nerf tactical ak-47 and think about why you suck so much
    • you cant get any deader than you already are. waste your darts at your own risk.
    • your fake murderer is the owner of your darts. you have lost custody of them. you are such a shit dart parent. no ones darts are their own
  • nowhere but Geoff and Jack’s room is strictly ‘off-limits’ enter at your own risk. (that means you Gavin.)
    • getting caught by the other residents of the apartment complex will result in a penalty ryan and no you can murder the witnesses
  • no actual murder, NO ACTUAL MURDER. no murder, no homicide, premeditated or not, no  death of ANY KIND OR UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE MICHAEL AND RYAN
  • as little collateral damage as possible. please. please for the love of god i do not want to renovate the penthouse again
  • it ends when everyone else but you surrenders

Alliances are made, broken, discarded, remade, no one is friends, husbands and wives on opposing sides. Gavin turns to his boyfriend, “Team Nice Dynamite Michael!” Michael nods, “team nice dynamite Gavin.” shoots him in the chest with the dart, kisses him and absconds into the penthouse. Gavin, broken by the betrayal, plots revenge in his room, where Ryan is just sitting there…waiting….until Jeremy ducks in and shoots him. 

ray is in the rafters. ray has ‘made’ a ‘nerf sniper rifle’ and Ray will not come down for any reason. Geoff and Jack are locked in a stalemate in Geoff’s room. its been three hours, one of them in total spent locked in the cold embrace of death and also their respective rooms. Ryan is outside. Ryan is always outside. Geoff asks himself why he didn’t ban camping. Gavin has bought a nerf arrow set, with 2 arrows, no mods. Geoff allows it. A string of deaths and ‘MARK NUT’s later, Geoff really wishes he hadnt.

Jeremy hits Mica once, Mica hits Jeremy 5 times. Jeremy Matt and Trevor team up for a grand total of 28.7 seconds before turning on each other, the stream team is no more. Michael walks down a hallway. Gavin is there, Gavin offers peace, Michael offers a nerf dart. Gavin grins and hands him his dart, and michael is suspicious, but fuck it he earned these darts, and then he’s shot in the back of the head. He turns, Lindsay, his own wife, smiling victoriously, oh the betrayal. She takes his darts, gives one to Gavin, they share a tender high five in the name of team loser’s solidarity, and a quick smooch while Michael bitterly trudges back to his room. Five minutes later, he exits his room, bent on revenge. Take one step outside his doorway. A nerf dart hits the crown of his head. Meg descends, very rapidly, from the ceiling, or more specifically the vent in it, steals his darts, kisses him on the cheek, leans in whispering “there can be only one.” and flounces off as Michael fumes.

Ryan is dual wielding foam swords and beating Geoff voraciously with them.  Ryan has been shot three times. “it takes me a very long time to die.” he says. Jack is certain Ray has fallen asleep up there but refuses to go check. Jack holds Mica in her arms as she dies, only to get shot in the head by Gavin, who's ‘parrot caught in a woodchipper’ imitation brings Michael, Lindsay Trevor, Meg and Ryan in for the kill. Ryan, Michael, Lindsay, Meg and Trevor are caught in a mexican standoff. Jeremy swoops in and kills them all with a foam hatchet.

Ray wins after literally everyone else stops and goes out for bevs and they realize that Ray never came down. “i fell asleep.” was his winners statement. truly inspirational.

Miss me?

wow feels like i just came back from a murder break but instead it was more of an ah art break ahah. i mean i did draw them not too long ago for a zine but like i havent like sat down and REALLY drawn anything since a whole year whoops. 

this does not change im still “technically” on an art hiatus but god i really wanted to draw something esp fake ah crew. will draw the others probably this month ahha