is boredness a word

2

I always knew how to be the smart one, not this. This feeling thing —this horrible thing— it consumes me. I appear to myself a whole different person, a complete stranger. And I look in the mirror and it’s me, but it’s not, Draco, I swear, what is this word? What is this awful, horrible horrible word that I know nothing of yet am so entirely? How can he have done this? How have I let him? Oh, I did not want this. I did not want any of this, Draco, you must understand—

I must find this word. Then I must stop boredness from swallowing me whole. I’ve been feeling so small these days. I hope it stops. I hope it doesn’t, so you can put me in your pocket and I can finally rid this place of me. So I can leave.

                                                                                         — yours entirely.
   
   (p.s please don’t go crazy in there, okay? I am in love with you.

x.