is a goddamn gift

if a vampire was just like "hey, wanna bone?" do you think i'd say no? hesitate even slightly? do you take me for a goddamn idiot, incapable of appreciating and gratefully receiving gifts that the universe decides to bestow upon me? c'mon now

“smart!dean au”


…the world cracked open.

reasons why the princess diaries 2 is actually the best movie ever made

ok so i know that when we were all young fanchildren we all watched this movie and sighed dreamily. but i am here to tell u that this movie is even better than u remember

1. the main conflict in the movie is the arranged marriage. i’m gonna stop right here, because princesses in arranged marriages are a classic fanfiction trope that we are all trash for. don’t lie to yourself. but it gets BETTER. not only is there an arranged marriage… the guy she’s arranged to marry is actually a really chill dude. u like this dude. u know they would be good friends and partners. he would make a good king. but sHE DOESNT LOVE HIM!!! she doesn’t love him. and it would be so easy for the narrative to say ~oh look at this selfish girl she has a handsome titled good man ready to marry her she’s so SELFISH for wanting passion and true love, so naive~ (see fuckboys: i’m so nice and handsome why doesn’t she love me she’s horrible) instead the narrative presents her not marrying him as a perfectly valid choice and one the viewer sides with her on. the narrative supports her choice and makes it clear it was the right decision. ADDITIONALLY, the solution presented to fix the arranged marriage problem is to DESTROY THE PATRIARCHY. like???? don’t fuck with me this movie is perfect

2. literally the other main conflict is the love interest. he’s essentially a conman trying to convince mia to fall passionately in love with him so he can steal the throne. but along the way… he falls in love with her. THIS IS LITERALLY THE PLOT OF THREE THOUSAND FANFICTIONS PEOPLE

3. speaking of fanfiction…this movie is one. like, i’m not even joking. the first princess diaries movie essentially compiled the first 3 books into a movie, but the sequel wasn’t based on the books at all. disney just pulled something out of their asses and was like “this will make the fangirls happy”

4. at the beginning of the movie mia graduates from princeton’s woodrow wilson school of international affairs… literally one of the best international studies programs on the planet.. then she’s flown to a castle…where she’s a princess..and has hot men falling all over her…and wears ballgowns…like…mia is such a mary sue but somehow the movie manages to avoid making her one AT ALL

5. also holy shit??! mia doesn’t just stand around looking pretty as a princess.. she’s clearly really smart and genuinely cares about the people of genovia and does her best to serve them well even to it’s hard work… like damn mia is fucking committed to being a good queen she’s not just a princess because castles make good backdrops for romances

6. the queen/joe YAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS u fucking know u shipped that shit


8. chris pine. what a hot piece of ass amiright

9. the number of times something fucking bizarre happens to mia and she theoretically looks into the camera like she’s on the office is comedic gold honestly. the maids?? flirting with her arranged husband?? climbing out a window?? the fAKE LEG!? mia is just trying to live her life but the universe keeps fucking it up. i feel u mia. 

in sum i have n o idea how the fuck this movie got made but goddamn is it not god’s gift to man

Please, Princess - Sebastian Stan smut

Originally posted by uncensoredsideblog

Title: Please, Princess

Pairing: Sebastian x reader

Word Count: not enough

Warnings: Smut! Romanian! Dirty talk! Kind of sub!sebby!! The shortest blurb smut everrr!!

A/N: NSFW under the cut! It’s not the best, but I hope you like it ;)

Sebastian was on his knees before y/n. His hands were cuffed behind his back and his big pleading eyes were looking up at her.

“Please princess,” He begged, every inch of his body begging for attention.

Y/n hummed, running her hands through Sebastian’s caramel hair.

“Te rog, draga mea! (Please my darling!)” He pleaded, his voice cracking as he needed y/n more and more.

Keep reading

here I go again

Of course I’m instantly going to bring up the great big debate again, because the premiere pretty much confirmed one thing: when it comes to whether or not Jack was controlling Cas at the end of S12, it is PURPOSELY ambiguous. We are supposed to be wondering about it. We are supposed to be questioning it.

And so far? I’m feeling pretty damn good about what I was reading from the situation: Jack was controlling Cas and Kelly, but he was not doing it on purpose, or else he just isn’t aware that it was wrong at all.

And here’s why:

Sam: How do you speak English?

Jack: My mother taught me.

Sam: So you talked to her.

Jack: I was her.

This is one of those incredibly ambiguous lines that could be read multiple ways, but this screams to me that Jack and Kelly, at one point in her pregnancy, that Jack considered them to be “one.” (And yikes, that’s creepy.) That’s also incredibly close to Cas saying that it was him, but also the child that burned Dagon. That says to me that at the very least, there’s a good chance that Jack was INFLUENCING them.

Sam: And  um… your… powers. Did she teach you those, too?

Jack: No, I… I don’t know why these things happen. It’s like I’m me, but… not me.

And this totally supports my theory that Jack isn’t doing it on purpose. 

In fact, this is actually interesting on a few different levels, because that could even imply that what’s controlling Cas and Kelly wasn’t Jack at all, but his powers. I mean, coupled with Kelly insisting that Sam and Dean can’t “take away what makes him special,” and Cas insisting that the child is “born with all of his power?” That almost makes it seem like Jack’s powers are a separate entity from Jack. It was the POWER that wanted to be born, and not Jack, if that makes sense. That’s goddamn alarming and also really interesting. 

Jack: My father is Castiel.

Sam: What?

Jack: My mother, she said that Castiel, he would keep me safe. She said the world was a dangerous place. That’s why I couldn’t be a baby or a child. I… that’s why I had to grow up fast. That’s why I chose him to be my father.

Pretty much confirms that Jack chose Cas, not that Cas chose Jack.

Sam: “So you… changed your mind?”

Dean: “No. No, nothing’s changed. He’s still the devil’s kid. He’s still evil. He still brainwashed Kelly and Cas. And even if he hasn’t gone Big Bad yet, he will.”

And that 100% supports the fact that we are supposed to be questioning this.

And that’s fucking STELLAR. That’s a HUGE  part of what I wanted. The answer is still out there, but at least the question is being asked. I know a lot of people were doubting that it would be addressed at all, and it certainly looks like it’s going to be.

So… yay. 


The Mary Jane Watson of the original Spider-Man films gets a hell of a lot of flak. She’s usually labelled a ‘no-personality damsel in distress’, before then being called some variation of 'a clingy, whiny, self-centered two-timer’. Quite aside from the fact that her detractors accuse her of having no personality before immediately going on to describe her personality (well, a small part of it), they’ve somehow managed to miss why she’s 'clingy, whiny and self-centered’:

Because she was abused!

This isn’t a minor detail, either: it’s very clearly shown that MJ’s abusive father affected her self-esteem massively. In a scene between Peter and MJ in Spider-Man 3, she’s upset - really upset - because of a mildly critical review. Like, really mildly critical. Peter can’t understand why. “That’s a critic, that’s just something you’ll have to get used to.” But MJ can’t understand why he can’t understand. “I look at these words and it’s like my father wrote them.” She’s been told her whole life she’s worthless, why should it stop now? It’s an overreaction, but it makes perfect sense.

Know what else makes perfect sense? MJ’s tangled relationships with men, especially Peter and Harry. She dates Harry straight out of high school, and hey, I love Harry, I really do - but he wants a say in how she dresses, for God’s sake. He loves her but (probably due to coming from a loveless household himself) he’s a terrible boyfriend. And MJ’s doesn’t even quite trust him to accept her- she’s sensitive about the social divide between them, between 'trash’ and people like the Osborns, but she sticks around anyway, because, like I said, Harry loves her, he thinks she’s beautiful, and he’s rich and good-looking and if someone like that (or John Jameson, another rich and successful young man) wants her how worthless can she be? MJ wants a man in her life, she wants to prove her father wrong, prove she is loveable - if one man lets her down, maybe another one won’t. As soon as Harry fails her she turns to Peter; as soon as Peter fails her a movie or two later she turns back to the now more grown-up Harry. And before you ask, yes, I’ve lost count of the amount of times she’s called 'slut’ or 'skank’ for this by fandom, whereas the boys get away with virtually every instance of unpleasant behaviour towards her.

I’m not saying MJ is a saint, mind. Actually, that’s pretty much the point: she isn’t. Leaving John Jameson at the altar with a note was really quite cruel; when she lost her job she should have told Peter about it; she should also have had a proper conversation with him about the Gwen situation; and she shouldn’t have prejudged Gwen herself (a totally innocent party throughout all of Spider-Man 3) so harshly. MJ fucks up, you know, she really does - but that’s okay. The movies don’t judge her for her sex life, her rough patches, her frequent need for reassurance, or her ambition. When Norman behaves in a downright misogynist way to her (remember him leering at her chest mere minutes before he calls her a gold-digger? She’s nineteen at most at that point. I think he deserved that stab in the dick) we aren’t meant to think he’s right, we’re meant to think he's horrible. Yet I’ve seen an unnerving amount of people agree with him. Which is absolutely endemic of a wider problem, but anyway - back to MJ as a person - 

There’s more than one kind of female character, and I am absolutely, absolutely here for the flawed, messed up, not-really-all-that-kickass ones. MJ’s clingy because she wants to be loved, she’s 'whiny’ (sigh) because people treat or have treated her actually really badly, and she’s self-centered because you know what abusers try to do? Deny their victims a sense of self. Almost every part of MJ’s life is trying to prove her father wrong, trying to fight back against her abuser by succeeding in life and loving others (and herself) the best that she can, and I think that makes her easily as good a role model as Spider-Man. The movies themselves seem to agree with me. How about you?

let’s talk cosmic consequences

Since I don’t think I’ve actually written this reasoning out yet, and I kinda mentioned it on the podcast… I’m being contrary again and not intending to.

They doubled down on there being consequences for the specific action of breaking a blood oath, which Cas did by killing Billie.

And yet none of the terrible things that happened in the last half of the season were a consequence of that action.

Cas died by Lucifer’s hand. Lucifer was out because Crowley didn’t let him go back to the cage, but he was out in the first place because Cas let him out. The events of the finale were the culmination of decisions that had been made by Cas and Crowley themselves, which resulted in their deaths.

And if we wanna trace this whole series of events back, Cas let Lucifer out of the cage in order to help defeat the Darkness, which was let due to Sam’s endless search to remove the Mark of Cain from Dean’s arm, which Dean took willingly at Crowley’s deliverance in order to stop Abaddon, who would have not been a problem anymore if Dean hadn’t convinced Sam to not finish the trials to seal the gates of hell. *deep breath*

And the Men of Letters appeared in response as a response to all of those events as a side effect - another type of consequence.

I look at Cas’s decision to kill Billie, and if have to compare it to something else contained in this season, two things are coming to mind: Dean’s original deal with Billie in order to escape the military, and Mary’s deal with Azazel.

(Side note: I have always just considered all of their stupid deals to be stupid decisions. All of their deals have been stupid decisions, but not all of their stupid decisions have been deals. Point being: I equate the two quite heavily.)

We never got to see the consequences of Dean’s deal because it was broken, but we knew what the consequences were: a Winchester would die.

Mary brought John back to life, which set off an earlier series of events and another series of consequences, which Dean listed off for her one by one by one. Sam’s powers. Being Lucifer’s vessel. Going to hell.

Other stupid decisions have a fairly defined path of consequences. And Cas’s specific stupid decision of breaking a blood oath should have consequences specifically tied to that decision.

When this show has been fairly consistent about how ‘there’s always consequences’ and 'there’s always a price that you pay in blood’ and when they mention 'consequences on a cosmic scale,’ I just don’t get why they would pull this weird gimmicky 'there’s always consequences EXCEPT FOR THIS ONE TIME.’

The discussion making the rounds right now is Human!Cas versus Angel!Cas as the endgame. I think the bulk of it got posted when I was in the car driving south, so I missed much of the discussion.

Here’s my opinion no one asked for (and I can’t find a good thread to attach this to, so I’m starting yet another one because I’m an asshole):

Cas choosing humanity is incredibly symbolic, and to me it represents a very real situation that happens all the time.

When I look at an ongoing plot of this show, I tend to take it out of the supernatural context and put it into a real world context in order for it to make sense, and I feel like there are times where we are meant to do that. For example, Sam’s demon blood storyline was addiction born out of hopelessness. The Gadreel storyline is another good example of this: if you take Sam’s possession out of it, Dean forcing Cas out of their home was really about protecting Sam and not Gadreel forcing Dean to throw Cas out. Another more overt example of this is the episode Red Meat, when even in an episode involving werewolves and a reaper, the show took the deals and the sacrifices and codependency in general out of the supernatural context and put it into the real world context; Sam was shot by a real gun, and Dean downed a ton of real pills.

That’s likely why I have the opinion that Cas’s endgame is humanity, because to me it’s about family, and having the ability and freedom to choose your own family.

Cas’s family has treated him like crap from the beginning. They’ve tortured him, they’ve brainwashed him, they’ve attempted to force their beliefs on him, and they’ve given him ultimatums. They come to him when they want or need something, and not because they actually want him there or respect who he is. The exceptions to this (Hannah, Samandriel) were killed.

So to me, it really seems like remaining an angel over choosing to become human is the equivalent of choosing an abusive family over a better one, whereas choosing humanity is realizing where his real family is.

It’s not about power. It’s about chosen family.

Marry Me

Originally posted by gleefinn

Summary: Witch’s spells aren’t always a bad thing

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 2,500

Warnings: implied smut, maybe language because I can’t help it, otherwise straight fluff

A/N: this is for the lovely @jpadjackles double birthday challenge! I loved all the songs you chose for us, but this one will forever be one of my favorites! Hope you like what I did with it, and thank you for hosting!

A/N/N: Huge enormous thank you to my twin @deanssweetheart23 for listening to me whine, reading everything over and basically being the best damn support system a writer could ask for. Love ya, twin.

Keep reading

Alternate TLT Song Titles
  • Prologue: Can I get a fuckin ughhhhh... parent?
  • The Day I Got Expelled: I get expelled for... defending my life?
  • Strong: How-To-Mom 101
  • The Minotaur: bang bang whoosh explode SCRREEEECH
  • The Weirdest Dream: a real dream gal
  • Another Terrible Day: Hello, I'm a god, I'm in charge, and it's time for my Daily Mental Breakdown™
  • Their Sign: Can I get a fuckin ughhhhh... parent? (reprise)
  • Put You in Your Place: 🎶Percy in the bathroom🎶
  • The Campfire Song: someone please give these kids a hug
  • The Oracle: Knock knock! Destiny calling :)
  • Good Kid: was just ONE good thing too much to ask?
  • Killer Quest!: Nothing could possibly go wrong!
  • Lost!: It went wrong!
  • My Grand Plan: I! Hate! The! Goddamn! Patriarchy!
  • Drive: Don't look a gift Ares in the mouth
  • The Weirdest Dream (Reprise): Foreshadowing™
  • The Tree on the Hill: Hello emotions my old friend
  • D.O.A.: Death has never been funkier!
  • Son of Poseidon: Daddy issues whomst?
  • The Last Day of Summer: Betrayal. mp4
  • Bring on the Monsters: B R I N G I T