is a fearless queen

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Take the courses. Brace the main and mizzen aback. Haul in the guns. Close all the gun ports. You’re letting up? With the damage done to the rig, I can’t maneuver our broadside around fast enough to be of any effect. The sloops are too nimble. But hauling in the guns? They’ll board us easily.

I'm begging you all, please please reblog and tag Taylor in this

It just hit me that Taylor’s been with me for over ten years. I can’t believe how much I’ve grown in those years and how much I owe to her.
~
I was eight when “Taylor Swift” came out. I had just started school, and I was happy, as most eight year olds would be. I listened to it so much even though I couldn’t relate to many songs at all. I loved Our Song. I would always put on the southern accent whenever I would sing it, I loved that song SO much. I would listen to “Taylor Swift” on repeat for days on end.
~
I was ten when “Fearless” was released. I bought it the weekend after it came out. I remember loving The Best Day soo much. I think that would have to be the first song I ever really connected to. I was bullied in primary school (elementary for you Americans) and the only person who helped me through it was my mum. She always made me happy, especially after coming home from school everyday. The Best Day and Change were my anthems all through school. No matter what I went through, I felt for the first that Taylor was with me through it all.
~
“Speak Now” came out when I was twelve. I was in my final year of primary school. I was probably the happiest I had ever been. I was a school leader, I moved up to a higher level in my dance classes and I had more friends than ever. My life was really starting to look up, so I thought. I felt so connected with Taylor that year too. I would have “Speak Now” on repeat what seemed like every day after school. Mine, Sparks Fly and Speak Now were my anthems for a good year. Not because I was dating anyone, but because they were happy, like me.
When I was thirteen, I started high school. I went from knowing everyone by name to knowing no-one. None of my primary school friends went to the same high school as I did. I went from a school with a total of 200 kids to a school with over 1,000. It was hard. It was stressful. It was awful. I was relentlessly bullied that year. I didn’t fit in with many people in my year at all. I went from having over 15 friends at school to only being able to count them all on one hand. I wasn’t popular, I wasn’t cool and I wasn’t missed when I’d miss a day. That year was hard for me. I went from being happy to being so distressed all the time. Taylor would always make me happy. I discovered a new side to me that year. I listened to Dear John every day after school. It worked for me, it was a good song for me to cry too. I also rediscovered “Fearless” that year. Change became my favourite song. It spoke to me on a level I’d never be able to explain. I also loved Long Live. In 2011 I had already loved Taylor for five years, which seems like a long time when you’re thirteen! I promised Taylor I would never leave her, because she’d never left me.
~
In 2012 the album I needed more than I knew came out. “Red” was the thing I needed to keep going. To push on. I was fourteen and life was awful that year. The bullying got so out of hand that I had to move schools. The only good thing that happened that year was that I rekindled with my old primary school friends at my new school.
I didn’t think at fifteen that life could get any worse. In early 2013 I became really ill. It seemed as though I was sick every week, which as a result made me fall behind in my school work and miss regular classes. The doctor finally did a blood and discovered I had CMV. Basically, it’s the same thing as glandular fever. I was constantly tired, and my muscles ached really bad non-stop for three months. It was so bad that I couldn’t continue my studies for a whole term at school. I had CMV on and off for over eight months.
In August 2013, after most of my symptoms had gone I continued experiencing chronic fatigue and achey muscles. The doctor referred me onto a pain specialist who diagnosed me with Fibromyalgia. It means chronic fatigue plus pain everywhere. I had a slightly different case to most people as my pain is a constant 9.5/10. No matter what I did nothing made the pain worse… or better.
I thought about giving up on more times than not, but Taylor saved me, Red saved me. I’ve never been so low in my life but I got through it all thanks to my best friend Taylor and Red. They both got me through so much.
I had missed so much school that I had to be pulled out and study at home via distance education. That was the start of it all.
~
On December 14th 2013 I attended my first Taylor Swift concert. After eight years of loving her I couldn’t conprehend how lucky I was to be able to see her live for the first time. My older sister took me (even though she’s told me repeatedly she doesn’t like Taylor. How?!?!) In the bathrooms before the show started I had a breakdown. I’m absolutely terrified of guns and bombs and was petrified of something happening during the show. Once Taylor came out, all my worries/anxieties/problems disappeared. Literally. The next two hours were the best two hours of my life. I didn’t stop dancing or singing or screaming out of happiness until the show ended. Even after the show ended I was soo happy and filled with so much adrenaline. I hardly slept that night because I couldn’t believe I just witnessed the girl I’ve loved since I was eight, live on stage doing what she loves.
~
From that day forward I promised myself I would never stop loving Taylor, because she’s given me so much happiness of which I wish to give back to her as many times as I can.
~
The following October, “1989” was released. I don’t think I had ever been that excited for an album ever, apart from Red because that was announced and released at the perfect time. The day “1989” came out I was at a very important dance competition, so despite trying, I couldn’t miss it and stay home and just soak in all of “1989.”
My dad has always loved Taylor. He loves that she makes me happy and loves how much I love her, he also knows how great a role model she is. As I was travelling to the competition the “1989” album release day, despite me already having preordered multiple copies of it, he offered to go down to the local CD store as soon as they opened to buy me another copy of it. He was at the store before they opened, and when they opened he was the first customer in the store. He knew straight away where to find it and bought the very first copy of 1989 that store sold.
When I got home from the competition (we placed second in two items in case you’re interested, one of which I had a featured role in) I went straight to my room where all my brand new 1989 cd’s were and put one on straight away. I spent the rest of the day listening to it non stop for over six hours. Just over a year later I began the greatest weekend of my life to date. I was lucky enough to get tickets to the final two shows of the 1989 World Tour, in Melbourne. Even though I didn’t have tickets to the first Melbourne show, I decided to go in anyway as my friends were there and I really wanted to see them all get so hyped before the show. We had a little picnic and heard Taylor sound check Red. (at this point you should know how much that means to me)
The next day I went in early whilst my sister was at school so I could be closer to my favourite people in the world. My friends and Taylor.
Later that afternoon my aunty and sister arrived for the show.
I’ve never been as happy as I was in that moment. I’ve never been able to describe it but Taylor’s Clean speech that night really resonated with me. She has this magical power that makes you feel like it’s just you and her there. Like it’s just you two talking as friends rather than in a stadium full of 30,000 people. I did not stop screaming and crying and dancing that whole night. Then she played “Fifteen” for her surprise song. I screamed so loud because it took me back to 2013, when I was fifteen. It’s actually magical because when I went to the Red Tour she played it, I was fifteen and then at 1989 when she played it my sister was fifteen.
The second night was even better. (I didn’t know it was possible) My sister and I had seats in section D on the floor directly in front of the catwalk. That night was much like the first in the sense that I didn’t stop crying or dancing the entire night. That Clean speech resonated with me so much as well, just because of the point I was at in my life. Then it was time for the “surprise” song if you will. From the first guitar chord she played I knew it was Long Live. I immediately dropped to the floor and started crying like I’ve never cried before. I screamed every single word of it SO loud, because that’s our anthem. I’ve never ever been that happy, ever. I haven’t been anywhere near that happy since then, and I never will until I meet Taylor one day.
~
That next January everything went down hill again. I had to stop my dance classes and stop studying via distance even. My pain and fatigue had never been more dominant and I was constantly in a world of pain.
Nothing at all has changed since then. My stamina has severely declined and I can no longer go on shopping trips with friends or even go take a walk with my dog at the local park.
~
I had my 19th birthday just under a month ago and I spent the day watching Journey to Fearless and the Speak Now World Tour live with one of my closest friends then had a night out with my family for dinner. That birthday means so much to me because I was surrounded by (most of) the people I love the most.
Today I’m barely getting by. I’ve never been lower emotionally and never been in so much pain or so tired. I’m so emotionally and physically drained and I’m struggling to find things that make me smile everyday. I’ve never needed Taylor more than I do today which also makes me more thankful for her each and every day. She’s probably the only reason I’m still here today and I’ll never be able to ever thank her enough for that. She’s my best friend, my life, my love and I hope more than anything that one day I get to meet her in person. I hope so much I get to thank her for absolutely everything. Tied Together With A Smile from her debut album “Taylor Swift” is the only song I’ve had on repeat recently in my head recently. Because that’s my life.
There’s this quote I’ve had as my lock screen the past year, “one day someone is going to hug you so tight that all of your broken pieces will stick back together.”
Everything in me believes that will be the case when I meet Taylor, because I feel like she’s the only person who’s always been there for me, no matter what.
~
As I had to leave school, I eventually drifted away from all my friends there. I don’t speak to any of them anymore. The only friends I have now are those I’ve met online because of Taylor. If it wasn’t for them I wouldn’t be here today which is yet another thing I have Taylor to thank for. Taylor Swift is the only reason I am still here today, and I really hope I get to thank her and hug her in person someday. @taylorswift

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Six of Crows || Social Media AU || The Dregs’ Instagrams || Brekker, his Wraith queen, his rotten little court of thugs. A fearless breed, hard-eyed and feral, hungrier for vengeance than for gold.