- Talk to the surgeon about the size you want your new areolas/nipples (don’t be afraid to ask)
- Numbness. No one talks about this for guys who are about to have surgery. You’re going to be numb all in your chest area, especially where the incisions were. They cut nerves as they pass along your chest, and it can take up to a year to regenerate those nerves. Still, feels super foreign for the first two weeks
- Make your bed into a pillow chair, body pillow, two on each side, and two for your head.
- Sleep alone. I tried to sleep with my girlfriend and it was miserable. You really do need the entire bed for yourself
- Go on Groupon, & get yourself a 10 foot lightning cable iPhone charger, BEST THING EVER, can reach from wherever you are
- Don’t take a week off from work, take two. You will regret the one week, and love the extra time
- When they say “don’t move too much, even after the first week”. LISTEN. I moved way too much and got so sore super quickly.
- Drink lots of water & eat if your taking the pain medication, otherwise your stomach feels super funky.
- Get stool softeners, & don’t be afraid to take those babies. Don’t wait a week to poop. you’ll surely regret it.
- The drains are scary & they may hurt while draining or rewrapping your dressings, but once they come out, the second they do, its no more pain, its crazy.
i hope this helps someone, because i wish i knew all of this when i was having mine a month ago. Looking back its like everyone forgets all the real negatives, its a great experience, & i healed very well & quick compared to most, but the first few days are crazy. They hurt, suck but it gets better.
At first the idea of talking to Even’s mom in general terrified him. He never even met the parents of his girlfriends and he knew the parents of his friends since he was a little kid. Isak doesn’t like to speak on the phone, period.
But when Even was feeling down and he hadn’t yet met his parents (and, well, Sonja kindly offered but he really didn’t want to take her up on playing messenger between him and Even’s parents) so when his phone rang and it read Liv Bech Næsheim he had a little internal scream-attack
Of course she wanted to know how Even was. His energy wasn’t up to talk to her himself and since Isak hadn’t even met her it was understandable that she would want some kind of confirmation that her son was ok.
Next time was when the battery of Even’s phone had died (the fate of the only android user in a kollektivet full of iPhones - no spare charger for him) and he was at Isak’s for the weekend. Liv wanted to let Even know that they were going on a spontaneous trip and wouldn’t be home until tuesday.
Isak coughed awkwardly into the phone and handed Even the phone. (his heart rate didn’t calm down after that for half an hour)
Then there was the time when Even’s birthday was around the corner. It was the first time that Isak was the one calling her (after Mahdi, Magnus and Jonas all talked some courage into him) to check if the watch Even wanted was ok for him to get for Even or if they already covered that.
But when they talked about who would get that precious boy what, she made a frustrated sound. Bc god damn that computer never did what it is supposed to! And why is my screen so big all of a sudden? Oh no, I can’t even see anything anymore. So, Isak talked her through it, which earned him a lot of gratitude and she made him promise to come by soon so she could make him a thank you dinner.
After they met each other time and time again, when Isak went over to Even’s, when they ate dinner with his parents, when he got there before Even after school (he waited outside for 10 min until Liv saw him and asked him what he was waiting for - more awkward coughing) and Liv made them some tea.
And Isak never really experienced that. Talking with parents. Having conversations with parents. With his dad it had been the occasional “Everything ok in school?” to which he nodded and then his dad nodded and that was that. With his mom he talked, yeah… but never like this. He never had a grown up just listen to him, give advice or just talk to him from eye to eye.
So when Even came he was almost disappointed (he wasn’t bc Even, but almost) that he had to stop his conversation with Liv - which at this point was just about some banality, but meant so much. She gave him a warm smile and an even warmer hug.
From then on, when Even’s mom called to check in when Even hasn’t been home for a bit, she always asked to be put on with Isak. At first it was surprising (and a little alarming “She wants to talk to me??” he had mouthed the first few times) but he soon found that Liv genuinely asking how was school, are you eating enough? Will we see you soon at dinner? How did that math test go? was one of the most comfortable and satisfying things he never knew he missed.
So now when Even’s phone rings and it reads Liv Bech Næsheim Isak perks up every time. Pauses his game of Fifa, shushes his friends or closes his biology book with an awaiting smile. Knowing he is about to receive parental affection and to be fussed about.
1. Understand that we’ve been on our feet all day and probably dealing with shitty customers and bullies since we clocked in. Most of us as students trying to make extra money, and we’re stressed enough as it is without shitty customers making us feel like we fell out of a dog’s ass.
2. Say hello. We’re not servants. We’re people, and we like to be respected. Don’t just throw your shit on the counter and expect complete servitude.
3. Don’t come to us when you’re talking on the phone. That’s the height of rudeness.
4. If you’ve made a reservation or a booking, don’t tell me your phone died, or you lost the letter or email, or give some other excuse which is going to make it impossible to complete your order. If we sent you information on your order, write it down.
5. If you want to complain, do not complain to the person on the till/shop floor/bar/tables. 99% of the time, the fuck-up was caused by a failed delivery, a system error, a stock error or a similar diablos ex machina in the narrative that is retail, and we can’t do anything about it.
6. If we DO fuck up, and it’s easily fixed, LET US FIX IT. Don’t start insulting someone because we forgot one item or some other asinine bullshit that can be fixed in a few minutes.
7. Don’t ask for the manager. Ever. Unless I’m being rude or offensive, don’t ask for the manager. This is peak dickhead behaviour. You ESPECIALLY do not ask for the manager if YOU were being difficult or rude in the first place and I was reacting in my defence (i.e., not letting you walk all over me), or if I’m not performing my job to “your standard”.
8a. If you’re a customer at an establishment where leaving a tip is optional, leave a tip.
8b. If the employee tells you we can’t accept tips, don’t try and force a tip on us. It will fuck up our till and the manager will shout at us because it will be assumed that we stole from the customer, or we didn’t give a customer the right change.
9. Not everyone who works here is fully 100% trained. People come and go every few months in retail and we’re not all at the same level of training. So don’t get pissed off when the new guy doesn’t come zooming out of the stock room with your 11-item order and twelve coupons.
10. If I’m on my break, I’m on my break. End of discussion.
11. We’re only going to be well-mannered if you are. You’re not above us.
12. And on that note, you’re not above other customers as well. There’s a line for a reason. Wait in it.
13. And if you see me on the shop floor and ask me to put through an order for you because you don’t want to wait in the line, you’re the worst.
14. Don’t try to “bond” with me by making fun of other customers I’ve been serving.
15. Don’t say “I can see the item behind you!” if I tell you we have zero in stock. There’s so many different reasons why we might not be able to sell it, including reservations, stock adjustments, recalls, display, or just because the item is unavailable for sale until a certain date.
16. If I say we can’t do something, we can’t do it. No amount of harassing me or my manager will do anything to change that.
17. Complaining that you’ve been waiting for a long time in the store won’t change anything either. We’re busy, we’re working hard, and we’re trying our best to get you in and out of the store as fast as we can.
18. If you snitch on one of my coworkers, I literally won’t give a shit. We’re all together, even the people who hate each other.
19. You have to wait. It’s part of shopping. You wait in line, you wait your turn, you wait for your card to be accepted, you wait for your change, you wait for your item being scanned, you wait for your food/drink/item being brought out, and you wait when I have to walk across the store to help you. Don’t be rude when your order isn’t complete within seconds because it’s entirely unfeasible.
20. Don’t be sleazy to my female coworkers. They’re not interested in you, and they weren’t interested in the five married men who hit on them before you.
21. If it’s out of stock, it’s out of stock. If the store allows you to order in, we can order it in. If the store makes it available for delivery, we can have it delivered. But nothing we can do will make your item appear in the store for you to take home right now, so don’t be difficult.
22. Don’t come in as soon as the store opens or as the store is closing. Honestly. Every single person in the store hates you. We’re exhausted, we aren’t getting paid for the extra minutes we have to serve you, and we want to go home. This is the biggest dick move you can pull as a customer, apart from screaming and asking for the manager.
23. Don’t be rude when we suggest a store card/special offer/product insurance policy. We have to offer this to everyone or we get yelled at. Just wait until we’re done talking so our managers can hear that we’re offering it, then politely decline. We don’t want to sell overpriced shit that will get you into debt, and we know you don’t want it, but managers still force our hand.
24. “If it doesn’t scan that means I get it for free hahaha” We have heard this joke literally more times than we can count so please stop.
25. “It says it’s cheaper on the shelf over there.” Okay, BUT - the tills reflect the current price of the item, and customers LITERALLY come in and switch price tags around so they can cause trouble and get shit for cheaper than they should, which gets US into trouble because our tills don’t have the right amount in them. If there’s an offer or a deal on at the time of purchase and we haven’t changed the price tags, then by all means let us know. But if there’s an obviously easily removed price tag on an item and you’re trying to get it for cheaper, chances are, you’re not getting it for that price.
26. Don’t come into the store with 50 gift vouchers or coupons and don’t try and use some complicated wireless payment if we don’t accept it.
27. I personally work in a store with over 20,000 items in stock. It’s basically a warehouse with tills. I don’t know jack shit about anything we sell other than games and computers. So don’t shout at me when I don’t know if the snooker table you’ve ordered is collapsable or not. No, I shouldn’t “have to know this stuff” because it’s literally impossible for any human being to know the specifics of thousands of products.
28. Clean up after yourself. Don’t leave milkshake cups and crumbs all over the store, because the people who have to clean that shit is US, and it’s NOT in our job description, but we’re made to do it anyway.
29. Don’t shop while you’re drunk or high. I shouldn’t even have to say this but for fuck sake it needs to be said, apparently.
30. Don’t vape in my face when I’m serving you. I have an e-cigarette too, which I use heavily because I’m so stressed out from working in fucking retail, and if I can wait five hours for my break to use it, you can wait five minutes to use yours.
31. I’m so sorry because this one is total bullshit but please don’t bring your dog into the store if you can. WE get shouted at because our managers are the ones who don’t want them in the store, and WE are the ones expected to be total dicks to dog owners.
32. Don’t complain to me if someone brought a crying baby into the store. Don’t complain to them either. Babies cry. That’s what they do. They cry when they’re hungry, tired, sick, dirty or scared. And babies scare easily. It’s not easy being a parent of a baby so cut them slack and don’t cause a damn scene over it.
33. This goes for disabled customers, customers who use mobility scooters, and senior customers with walking canes or Zimmer frames. They’ll take as long as they need and you wait your damn turn. This should go without saying too, but I’ve had customers complain to ME about how we’re “too slow” because the customer before them was using a mobility/support device of some kind. That’s none of your fucking business and it’s NOT something you have the right to complain about.
34. If you’re shopping in a store with displays that are easily messed up (like clothes), don’t just mess it up and leave it there. If you’re taking a shirt out, fold it at least SOMEWHAT neatly before you put it back. And if you can’t, let us know so we can keep the place tidy.
35. Stop giving prank names to baristas. They don’t give a shit. None of us give a shit. It’s not funny.
36. Bring your cups/trays back to the counter/disposal area otherwise mama didn’t raise you right.
37. If your coupon is expired. It’s expired. We can’t turn back time.
38. Nor can we teleport, so if your coupon’s at home, there’s nothing we can do about that either.
39. You need to understand that employees in retail get monitored on everything we do, INCLUDING how much money is in our till compared to the price of every item we sell through that till. So no, we can’t just “knock” 10% off for your inconvenience in the store, we can’t “take the price of the coupon off” because you left it at home, we can’t “just give you” a refund without a receipt even though you “swear you bought it here”, and we can’t “just change the price” of an item because you “think it’s too expensive”. If the store does price matches against similar stores, or if the store has a price promise for items reserved at a cheaper price, then yes, we will change the price for you. But don’t kick up a fuss because you think iPhone chargers are overpriced. They totally are. But that’s not in my control.
40. No, I don’t want the 99.
41. Don’t talk to us like we’re robots. “Good morning. I would like to purchase two items today please.” No offense but what the fuck is that? Why do people talk like this to cashiers? “Hey what’s up, can I buy this book and a stapler?” is totally fine. In fact, it’s preferred. Talk to us like you’d talk to literally any other human being on the planet.
42.. The customer isn’t “always right” and I wanna fight the fucker that came up with this ridiculous egotistical mantra.