invisibly illness

able-bodied people don’t seem to realise the nuances of disability, they look at it as such a black and white issue when it’s really not. like, i don’t need a wheelchair in the sense that i can’t physically use my legs and i don’t need a walking stick in the sense that i would fall over without one. but i do need a wheelchair in the sense that it could make the difference between my being bed-bound for a day and being bed-bound for a week and i do need a walking stick in the sense that using one today might enable me to do more tomorrow. disability and chronic illness aren’t black and white; using things out of necessity can mean a lot of different things for a lot of different people.

Why is it always straight men catching women when they pass out? Is there a form I can sign to request only strong lesbians catch me when I faint? Do they make a medical alert bracelet for that? I’m feeling woozy

If only it was that easy, Susan…


invisible disabilities are not totally invisible. if you look close enough, I mean really look at us. you’ll see how we walk differently. how our faces contort in pain. how our jaws clench. how our shoulders are our hands tremble. how our breathing is laboured. how we struggle with the simplest of things. our disabilities are not really invisible. people are just too ignorant to notice our suffering and pain.

i know being extremely ill is a tremendous burden and i would never truly want to be sicker than i currently am, but fuck i hate being stuck in the grey area of chronic illness. that area of being able to shower yourself most days, of being able to cook sometimes, of being able to walk up a flight of stairs, of being able to drive a car, but also of not being able to work or study, of not being able to stand for longer than 5 minutes, of not being able to walk long distances or play sports or, let’s be honest, have sex. i don’t know where i am or where that leaves me, and what makes it harder is that the line between what a chronically ill person can do and should do is very, very blurry. it’s so, so hard living your life in a constant state of limbo

okay but the fact that so many people who have been chronically ill from a young age grow up to actually deeply fear hospital and doctors appointments because after years of fighting for a diagnosis they are terrified of having their diagnosis’s dismissed again, of being gaslighted again, of not being believed or taken seriously again, of being denied treatments again, shows that there is a real fucking problem that need’s to be solved.

The thing about invisible illness is that you feel so guilty for mentioning it bc everyone views it as complaining. There’s a difference between asserting your needs and complaining but a lot of people don’t see it that way. This has caused me to feel horrible for speaking up. Every time I mention a need I have or a pain I’m feeling I’m told to just deal with it and that’s messed up.